Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Ranma the Amorous Over-Sexed Nympho ❯ Slight Fustration ( Chapter 17 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
Ranma the Amorous Over-sexed Nympho



"OLD GHOUL!!!!!!" Ranma-chan bounded from rooftop to rooftop late the following morning. The rest of the night spent trying to rectify her state of duress. It was becoming infuriating for her to come close to peak, and not be able to reach that final crescendo. What was worse is it took almost a whole HOUR to come down.

"YOU OLD DRIED UP CUNT, GET OUT HERE SO I CAN SHOVE MY HAND SO FAR UP YOU I CAN PULL YOUR TONSILS DOWN THROUGH YOUR THROAT!!!!"

"How expressive you are, Daughter-in-law," an enraged Ranma turned to face the old woman, calmly balanced oh her staff with a bemused expression on her face, "Possibly was that something quoted from Byron?"

"DIE!" Ranma wasn't in the mood for small talk at the moment.

Cologne effortlessly leapt over the strike that shattered tiles on the roof, and when Ranma jumped to intercept the old woman, she received a cane on the noggin for her troubles.

"Don't teach grandma to suck eggs, little girl!"

"I'll teach you to suck something alright," growled the redhead as she got back to her feet and renewed her attack, only to have the Elder calmly tap her away with her staff, sending her flying off the roof. Cologne landed calmly next to Onna-Ranma, looking upon the girl with an innocent expression.

"Is this how you respect your elders?" Cologne commented, blinking guilelessly a few times, "Really, Daughter-in-law, you seem a bit tense. Been able to relax lately?"

"DIE!" Maybe Ranma just wasn't really a morning person.

Cologne fought down a chuckle as she easily defended off the girl's attacks, casually gauging her speed for future reference before she got bored and sent the redhead crashing into a light pole, "You're a hundred years too soon to take the likes of me. Now if you would just be rational for a few moments... You really should wind down, I hear masturbation is a good way for teenagers to release stress."

"DIE!" Ranma's vocabulary was a bit limited that morning.

"Oh dear, was it something I said?" Cologne asked as she defended herself from the over-homicidal girl.
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Ranma returned an hour later (the fight having had ended 5 minutes prior, but took him that long to regain consciousness and return), more than slightly battered, and just slightly more agitated, "Damn old Ghoul, she's gonna pay though the udder for this one."

"I take it you weren't able to over*come* your problem?" Ranma stopped tightly at the barb from Nabiki, and turned towards the girl's nasty grin.

"I'm not in the mood right now Nabiki," Ranma replied, too agitated to even come up with a proper punishment.

"Oh, I guess you're just too tired from your *climactic* battle. Must have looked a *little death* right in the eyes. Such a thing would be *earthshaking* to me."

Nabiki burst into hysterics while the redhead started seething with rage, "I'll be back for you later..." Ranma started for the source of where the middle Tendou daughter could have gotten her info, "Akaaaaaaaaaannnnneeeeeeeeeeee......."

"I'n harry Ranna-hanna, they hananded to know hy he her hizzy all night," Akane said as she answered the beck and call of her partner; her tongue still feeling a little strained from previous activities. Ranma groaned, deciding that a risk on the Sybian saddle would be well worth the hour's agitation if she couldn't get off.

"Hey Ranma, I'm sorry," Onna-Ranma stopped her ascent upstairs, surprised by the apology from Nabiki, "I shouldn't have orgasmed, er, antagonized you like that," Nabiki didn't even bother to stop her new fit of hysterics.

Ranma turned around with a half lidded glare at the middle Tendou sister, "Nabiki, how would you like to make some money?"
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Nabiki screamed for the umpteenth time. She wouldn't have been able to stand from the exertion she was feeling, but fortunately the tree she was tied to.... butt nekked... helped support her.

"Ranna-sanna, we haf eigh nore huys hoo wath you now hu hawn," Akane said, collecting their admission fee and handing them tickets. The eight newcomers took their seats among the growing crowd of boys who had also paid to watch the show, which wasn't exactly the redhead mowing the grass.

"I... will... guh-HUH!... get you... for... *gasp*... thisssssssss RANMAAAAAAA!!!!" Ranma smiled, not paying attention to the ranting and heavily bucking girl fastened to the tree. Ranma's day was starting to look up.

"It was nice of your Son to volunteer to mow the lawn for me, eh, Saotome?" Soun asked, thankful that he could be lazy this day. The panda agreed as he moved another game piece and sipped on his lemonade.

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!"
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After months of trailing his true love, the wooden cigar Indian set itself by the door and knocked. After traveling high and far to be with his love, surely the focus of his complete affection will see how much he loved her, and return that love. Impatiently, the statue knocked again.

"Hello, can I help you, hello?" asked a little blond haired girl who answered the door politely. The little girl looked around curiously to see who it was that was bothering them right then. The Indian statue looked at the girl curiously.

"Who are *you*?" The statue asked in a cutesy yet curt voice. The little girl, possibly no more than ten years old, looked up in surprise at the talking statue.

"Um, Suzzzzy," Stated the girl coyly, nervous from the inspection from the large piece of Americana, but managed to gain her bearings to be polite, "how do you do?"

The statue's face turned sour as it watched the girl curtsy for it, "Where's Ukyo? And what are *you* doing here?"

Lil' Suzy blinked at the frankness of the statue, but replied nicely nonetheless, "Uuuuhhhh, she's fixing things right now, and I'm Ukyo's girlfriend," the last part was a bit of an imbellishment. Apparently the statue didn't like that last part.

Bending down close to the little girl, the statue gave the girl a thorough once over before speaking, "You're butt.... ugly..."

Lil' Suzy's left eye ticked....
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"Order of ginger broth ramen up," Announced Cologne. Her grand daughter bounded over to retrieve the order for delivery, stopping for a bit of small talk.

"Great-Grandmother, why we open ramen shop? We take husband and wife back to China soon, yes?"

Both paused at the loud bang from not too far in the distance, then shrugged it off as inconsequential.

"It's not going to be that cut and dry, Shampoo," addressed the wizened woman, "your spouses will most assuredly be stubborn to the end. So it'll be best if we settled down for a bit. But in the mean time, I guess it's best to dangle a carrot in front of Son-in-law's face." Cologne finished a few more orders, and bounded off to find the redhead girl.
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Suzy lowered her Jericho 941 'Uzi Eagle' with the barrel exchanged for the 10mm, and watched the statue fly several feet backwards with an idiotic expression on it's face before closing the door. "Shame they discontinued these babies," stated the girl after kissing the barrel.

"Who was at the door?" enquired Ukyo as he carried another box upstairs. The young girl yelped as she quickly hid the gun behind her back.

"It was a pervert meanie Native American cigar statue!" described the girl hotly, Ukyo blinked at that.

"And what was that loud bang?"

The girl fidgeted before answering, and not looking into Ukyo's eyes, "Thunder." Ukyo turned towards the window and looked out at the vibrant and sunny day.

"I guess," Ukyo said as he shrugged it off, "Come on and help me unpack, sugar. The sooner we get this done and get the rest of the stuff from back home, the sooner I can start trying to get yours and my revenge again." The little girl clapped with glee, Ukyo called her 'sugar' again. Surely that meant the handsome boy's love for her.

"You know? Even if you are ten years old, you seem to act much younger than that..." Ukyo mused
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Cologne walked up while Akane and Ranma were counting the money they earned, Nabiki untied, though with a dazed expression and slumped against the tree in all her glory with a bit of drool escaping from the corner of her mouth.

"I don't even want to know," Cologne said to herself, but managed to gain the attention of the two non-catatonic girls. Akane stepped back while Ranma's battle aura flared to life as she prepared herself to attack.

"Relax, Daughter-in-Law if you want to know the cure for your 'plumbing' problem I mean."

"Fix... it... now," the redhead growled, barely able to control herself, only the smell of fresh cut grass (being a reminder of vengeance) kept her refrained.

Cologne removed a pendant from her neck, "This container holds a phoenix pill that will allow you to tolerate hot water to turn back into a male."

"I don't CARE about that! Fix THIS NOW!" shouted the girl, pointing obscenely to her crotch.

"I was about to get to that, you youngsters have no patience these days. I swear it's all coming and going for you." Ranma knew that there was a barb hidden in that, "Anyhow, as I was about to say, once you're able to change back into a male, the Venus's bane pressure point will be undone."

"Damn, I knew there was gonna be a catch," grumbled the redhead, "Alright, if I gotta change to the virgin first, it will be worth it. Now gimme the pill!"

"Nu uh uh!" replied the elderly lady, "I'm afraid you'll have to take this from me first."

"GOOD AS DONE!" Onna-Ranma dove after the old Amazon, her hand outstretched to recover the container. Cologne merely hopped over the girl, earning Ranma a mouthful of freshly cut grass.

Cologne landed softly on the redhead's back with a bemused expression, "Surely you can do better than that! You're going up against three thousand years of Amazon history, it's gonna take more than that to get the best of me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some flyers to pass out." With that, the Amazon bounded for the rooftops.

Ranma sputtered as she pulled herself to standing, "Mark my words, I'll get that pill from you yet, old Ghoul!" Ranma raised her fist to her face in pledge, and then blinked as a piece of paper landed on it, "What's this?"
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"HEY, OLD GHOUL!" Ranma declared as she walked into the Cat Cafe, "Has this position been filled?"

Cologne grinned at the redhead before replying, "If you want it, it's yours." The girl was just waaaaaaaayyyyyyy too easy to manipulate.

"Uh, well, um, good then," Ranma replied, satisfied her demands were met, "So when do I start?"

"How does right now sound?" Cologne suddenly became a blur as she raced at the redhead. Ranma just as quickly went into defensive stance, not that it would have saved her. The pigtailed girl felt a slight breeze, and looked down to find herself in a pink outfit with a bell pattern on it.

"Huh?" Ranma-chan replied dumbly.

"Don't dally now, dinner shift will be here any minute now," Cologne hopped to the register to prepare.

"Now WAIT A MINUTE! I..." Ranma found herself face down in the carpet as she was trampled by the dinner rush customers.

"You don't have time for rug munching, now get to work and take some orders," Cologne commanded as she went back into the kitchen.
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"So, Ranma's got a job now?" Nabiki more stated than asked her younger sister, doing a decent job of hiding her consistent shuddering that she knew from experience wouldn't leave her till late that night; barring any potential aggravation to her condition of course.

"Yes, Ranma-sama thought it would be a good idea to get close enough to get the phoenix pill away from Shampoo's Grandmother."

"Well, well, this I gotta go see." Nabiki put her pants on and decided that she was in the mood for ramen.
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"Order up!" Cologne stated as she rung the bell.

"Got it," replied the redhead, "And I think I'll take that pill while I'm at it!"

Ranma's hand darted past the bowl for the large locket around Cologne's neck. With an expression that seemed almost oblivious to the girl's attempts, Cologne parried each attempt while maneuvering the girl into keeping the bowl suspended, "You spill it, it comes out of your pay." The crowd looked on, impressed, as Cologne finally got tired of the ordeal and tossed up a few more orders for Ranma to catch.

"I'll get you for this you old Ghoul," Ranma promised with her mouth holding a pair of chopsticks that were holding up a bowl of ramen.

"Wow, place is pretty jumping," stated Nabiki as she walked in to take a seat, and then began to make herself thoroughly noticed.

"Customer on table six," announced Cologne, "Stop trying to ignore her, daughter-in-law."

"Hello, Nabiki, what can I get for you tonight?" Ranma asked with a saccharine sweetness that carried many applications if the redhead were irritated.

None of them were lost on the middle Tendou sister, she just didn't care, "Well, how about a menu, toots?" The girl asked, non-discreetly scooting closer to the redhead so she could drag her hand along the waitress's inner thigh.

Ranma gritted her teeth as she pulled out a menu and shoved it towards the girl before walking off. Nabiki quickly skimmed through the menu and sapped for Ranma's return before she had gotten two steps away.

"What would you suggest?" Nabiki enquired, grabbing onto Ranma's hand and massaging it.

"The ramen," Ranma stated flatly, trying to ignore what the other girl was trying to do.

Nabiki pouted slightly, though on the inside she was roaring with laughter, "Well then, sweet cheeks, go get me some ramen!" The Tendou girl sent her waitress on her way with a firm slap on the butt, right near the juncture between her legs. Ranma decided a little payback was in order as she tucked her bottom lip under her top teeth and started to hum. Nabiki's eyes widened at the sound, and started to look around nervously to see if anyone had started to notice her gyrate her hips.

Ranma began to hum louder, before a pair of chopsticks ran into her forehead, "Quit sexually stimulating the customers, and get back to work!" Cologne admonished, and then turned back to her cooking. Ranma sighed as she silently plotted her revenge for later.

"One 'ramen' coming up," with that, the pigtailed girl turned back to the old woman, once again making an attempt for the phoenix pill. Nabiki watched as the two dueled under seemingly floating bowls of ramen, inwardly smiling at her small and possibly temporary victory
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Ranma returned that night, thoroughly exhausted, with Nabiki trailing behind her cheerfully.

"Oh, welcome home, Nabiki, and who's your friend?" Kasumi asked as she opened the door.

"Ranma... live here," the redhead croaked out, before she began her energy lacking gait towards the couch and unceremoniously flopped herself onto it.

"Oh, that's nice then, I'll set up the guest room for you since Uncle Saotome is staying in father's room." Kasumi walked of to set up the guest room for the girl.

Nabiki blinked at the scene, then shrugged and walked in to see her younger sister tending to their guest. For a split second, Nabiki felt a twinge of guilt, and then took out heartburn medicine to relieve her of the feeling.

"Get.. pill," Onna-Ranma mumbled half asleep against Akane.
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"We do good business, yes, Great Grandmother?" Shampoo asked with bubbly exuberance.

"Quite, not only that, son-in-law is coming along well. I didn't expect him to be this far along so soon." Cologne took a puff from her pipe, "I think I'll begin the next step in his training tomorrow."

"Oh! Shampoo happy husband learning too too fast. Sooner he learn, sooner we bring husband back to China!"

"Aren't you forgetting your wife?" Cologne asked, casting a sideways glance to her heir.

"Oh... yeah... and wife," Shampoo repeated with a slight pout, "Shampoo no understand. Why Shampoo need wife?"

Cologne chuckled a bit, and thought a bit of teasing of her Great Granddaughter was in order, "Well, Shampoo, three is much more fun than two."

The girl stared blankly at her elder, "Shampoo no understand."

"Well the Tendou girl seems to have the hots for you, don't plan on getting a lot of sleep while married to those two."

Shampoo still had a guileless expression on her face, "Husband and wife snore?"

Now it was Cologne's turn to look confused, before slapping her forehead and realizing one aspect of the young girl's training that the elder had neglected, "*Sigh*, Shampoo, I think it is time we had the 'talk'?"

"We talking now?" Shampoo asked curiously. Cologne began to explain to the young Amazon the facts of life.