Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ To Become a God ❯ Two To Tango ( Chapter 5 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer – Don't own nuttin'.

Authors Note = I don't hate Akane. I don't favor Akane either. Matter of fact, I could care less who Ranma gets paired with as long as it's well written. I enjoy a good cross-over because they're usually more interesting. I do not read slash. If you're into that, fine by me, but it ain't my thing.

I've read, and enjoyed, Ranma/Akane, Ranma/Shampoo, Ranma/Ukyo, Ranma/Nabiki, Ranma/Kasumi, Ranma/Hinako, Ranma/Pluto, Ranma/Hotaro, Ranma/Ryoko, Ranma/Sasami, Ranma/Misato, Ranma/Rei, Ranma/Asuka, Ranma/Nerima harem, Ranma/Sailor harem, Ranma/Evangelion Harem, and much, much more.

I don't know if I'll even have a pairing in this fic. If I do, I don't think it'll be any one from Nerima. I don't write lemon, and I don't write lime. Maybe a bit of citrus.

Two to Tango

“Sauske!” Tatewaki Kuno shouted. He paced Kuno manner lost to his brooding. Could he believe Saotome. Dare he. But, the boy had acted more normal in Kuno's presence than ever before, and the pig-tailed girl had appeared to him, begging his help! Could he trust what he had seen?

“I am here Master Kuno.” the diminutive ninja simpered, appearing at Kuno's feet, head nearly touching the floor as he bowed.

“Did you get the proof.”

“It is here, my Lord Kuno.” Sauske held up a video camera. Kuno stiffened. This would show him all he needed to know.

“I would view this in my room. Set it up, then be gone. Not too far Sauske, I might have need of you.”

“Your will be done Master Kuno.”

“Yes, yes. Truly the world is blessed by my magnificent presence.” Kuno struck a pose, hands on hips, chest puffed out, shoulders square. Truly, he believed it.

A few moments later, Kuno was seated in front of his overly large television, remote in hand. He steeled his resolve, knowing that he was about to see things that would demand action. He knew he must view it all, lest the true sorcerer escape his divine retribution. He pressed play.

The screen was filled with foliage. Slowly, it moved to reveal the backyard of the Tendo residence, the koi pond front and center. There was a shout of “TIME TO GET UP BOY!” the camera whip panned to the right, just in time to catch Genma Saotome throwing his son bodily from the window. The boy slammed into the water facing up into the camera, he appeared to be shocked. The Change rippled through his body as he morphed into a petite red headed girl.

Genma leaped from the window, landing in the yard just before the Koi pond. “You're getting sloppy boy. You're turning into a girl! Looks like I'm gonna have to increase your training.”

“You cursed me into this body, old man. What more can you do to me.” The pigtailed girl growled, as she stepped out of the pond. With that the spar began. The pig tailed girl was good, very good. The larger man was back peddling, barely dodging the blows, until he backed right into the koi pond. Genmas form rippled, morphing into a giant panda.

The panda whipped out a sign that read 'Now you're gonna get it!'. The panda leaped out of the pond, and attacked the pigtailed girl. She ducked and dodged, evading his attacks, but the beast kept coming. It landed a round house during an aerial exchange and the pigtailed girl flew at the camera. The world swirled confusingly before coming to a stop, sideways, outside of the Tendo residence. Then the video ended.

“It's true then.” Kuno took on a deep thinking pose, sitting cross legged, one hand on his knee, elbow resting on the other with his hand on his chin. His eyes narrow as he contemplated what he had just seen. All this time he had battled Ranma Saotome. For nothing. Truly Saotome was a brother in arms, en-spelled to do the bidding of the foul sorcerer Genma Saotome. An ally forced to fight his compatriots.

“My task has become much complicated.” Kuno spoke to himself. “Not only must I save my two loves from a foul sorcerer, but it seems I must also rescue a fellow crusader of good. Truly Ranma Saotome, I am sorry for the the time we have waisted battling each other. Together, with you're considerable abilities and my godly skill, none shall stand in our way!” Kuno cackled madly.

“What is this, dear brother?” Kodachi asked, poking her head into Kuno's room.

“My twisted sister!” Kuno exclaimed, leaping to his feet. Just what he needed. If Ranma was to be his ally, to be his brother in arms against the foul sorcerer Saotome, what better way than to truly become his brother. His sister's fondness for Ranma was not lost on him. “Just who I needed to see.”

“Oh, and why would that be, brother dearest?” Kodachi asked suspiciously. If he was about to start bad mouthing her Ranma-sama...

“I had a most interesting meeting with the Honorable Ranma Saotome...”

Ranma felt a chill go up his spine. Wonder what that was about.

“Ranma, welcome back.” Dragonis greeted him as he let Ranma into the compound. Ranma looked left and right, as well as up, to ensure he hadn't been followed. After all, why bring all that down on his new teacher.

“Don't worry about it Ranma. This compound is warded against detection. One could be leaning against the gate and not even know it if they aren't keyed into the wards.” Dragonis told his new student. Ranma nodded in relief, then perked up.

“So, whatcha gonna teach me today sensei?”

“Several things, I'd Imagine.” Dragonis lead Ranma into his dojo. “But first, I need to evaluate you. Hold nothing back, this dojo can take anything you can dish out. My word on it.” Dragonis smiled.

“If yer sure about it.” Ranma said, stretching out. “But ya got my life on file. Don'tcha already know what I can do?”

“Like I said before, that's just the highlights. To train you fully, I need to know your limits. I need you to cut loose.”

“Sound like fun, sensei.” Ranma gave his patented (Nabiki was thorough) trademark smirk. “Sure ya can keep up?”

Dragonis smiled again. He'd spent his entire mortal life and several thousand years of his immortal life perfecting the art. Granted, he'd only been thirty when he'd gained his immortality, but still, several thousand years had been a long time. He'd bested demigods before he gained his immortality, and he couldn't wait to fight some one else who practiced the Art and had defeated one while mortal. “Oh, I'm sure. Give me the best you've got, Ranma.”

Akane was in the dojo, breaking bricks and thinking. Ranma had disappeared again today. It frustrated her so much. She could admit, if only to herself, that she liked him. Maybe not love, but a strong like. In her own mind she could admit that he was a good catch. He was honorable, good looking, and selfless. On the other hand he was so damn infuriating. He was overconfident, proud, loudmouthed, and condescending.

She knew he didn't want his other fiancés. He made it plain. But that didn't stop them from wanting him. The problem was, Akane got jealous easily. Every time they glomped onto him, or he chose them over her, her jealousy would rise up within her like a swell in a lake. She would usually regret it after she calmed down, but his attitude was enough to keep her from apologizing. Why couldn't Ranma just tell everyone where they stood. Why drag it out like this.

He never took her seriously as a martial artist. True, he was miles better than her, another thing she couldn't admit out loud. But that didn't mean he had to make her look like a fool. The few times he'd spared with her, he always dodged her attacks like they were nothing, then poked her through the holes in her defenses. Why couldn't he block once in a while. Why couldn't he strike her through those holes in her defense, instead of pointing it out in this humiliating fashion, as if to say “I could totally wipe the floor with you, but you're beneath my notice”. Why couldn't he train her to be better.

Her father had trained her, before Mom had died, but he had stopped when Akane had reached the point where he'd have had to start striking her for her to improve. She'd had to continue her training by herself, learning from the family scrolls solo. Then she had to face the hentai horde. She knew she had bad habits left over from fighting groups instead of individuals, and she knew she had bad habits from teaching herself, but Ranma could have helped her fix those problems if he wasn't so, so, so....

Akane had to stop and replace the bricks. She'd gone through so many she needed another couple of stacks.

“Kachu Tenshin Amagurikan!” Ranma shouted. Dragonis was good. Very good. Then again, he was a God. He kept his skill level just a bit above Ranma's own, even as Ranma slowly worked it up to his fullest level. Ranma was thrilled when Dragonis blocked all of his strikes from the chestnut fist.

“That was good.” Dragonis said, throwing out a punch-kick-sweep combo at blurred speeds, before going back on the defensive. “You're average chestnut fist user throws 450 to 550 punches in a second. You just threw and even 1,000.” he blocked a flurry of punches and kicks before back flipping away from a sweep to give him a bit of range. “But have you studied the way you use your ki to perform the move?”

“Whatcha mean?”

“I mean like applying it to the rest of your body. Then you can do things like this.” With that Dragonis seemed to vanish as high speed impacts threw dust off the floor, appearing only for an instant mid flying roundhouse kick as Ranma blocked entirely on instinct. His instinct allowed him to block three more strikes from his seemingly invisible opponent before a punch snapped his head around and a kick sent him spiraling away, landing hard on the ground.

“What the hell was that?” Ranma asked, wiping a trickle of blood from his mouth as he stood.

“Shukuchi, the ability to move at godlike speed utilizing powerful legwork combined with the Kachu Tenshin Amagurikan to allow strikes that are so fast, only the most highly skilled may see them.” Dragonis said in his 'sensei' voice.

“I gotta learn that.”

“Oh, you will. That and much more.” Dragonis took a ready stance. “Shall we continue?”

Ranma smiled a genuine smile. “Bring it on, sensei!”

To Ukyo Kuonji, okonomiyaki was more than a food, it was an art. More than simply a martial art style, a true art. She could loose herself in it's preparation much like Ranma could loose himself in a kata. It was her form of meditation.

As the lunch rush started, Ukyo entered the Zen of Okonomiyaki, as she called it. As usual, her thoughts seemed to revolve around one Ranma Saotome. Her childhood friend and current fiancé. She didn't blame him for the incident that led her down this road. That was firmly the panda-mans fault. She either had to marry Ranma, or kill them both.

She liked Ranma, she liked him a lot. But she didn't love him. She wanted to marry him, true, and she liked him as more than a friend, but love? No. She felt that what she felt for him could easily grow into love though. She acted like she was madly in love with him more to hold onto her claim than to actually get him.

To Ranma, his life was the martial arts. To Ukyo, it was okonomiyaki. She new he would be board with being a waiter in a small restaurant, and, frankly, no small restaurant could afford the insurance to employ him. Too many crazy challengers. Her plans for him had changed as she got to know him, and as she got a bit older.

Why stop at one restaurant? She wanted a business degree so she could franchise out. Given time, she could have an Ucchans in enough cities that she could spend her time going from store to store, ensuring quality. Ranma would be free to practice his Art. Of course, she still had to win him from the other girls.

He seemed to cling to Akane, despite the girls abuse of him. She didn't get it. Why Akane? Why not her? Akane was a violent, jealous tomboy who couldn't cook to save her life. Ukyo was cute, and nice to him without being nearly as forward as that slut, Shampoo. Most importantly, she could cook. So why hadn't he chosen her yet. It was only a matter of time before he got tired of the other crazy fiancés and came home to his cute, sane fiancé instead.

“Konatsu, I have to grab more batter, can you hold things together for a minute?”

“Of course, Ukyo-sama.”

“Thanks sugar.” Ukyo smiled and went to the back, unaware of the longing gaze on the genius kunoichi face.

”Mouko Takabisha!” Ranma shouted, throwing his confidence into his ki attack. A large ball of brightly glowing ki flew at Dragonis.

“Hadou 4.” Dragonis pointed with his finger and white energy crackled about it for a moment before he released it in a long, winding bolt that punched right through Ranma's Mouko Takabisha, dissipating it like an arrow through smoke, before impacting on Ranma's hastily raised defense. “White Lightning.”

“The hell was that?” Ranma asked, shaking his arms out.

“Lightning.” Dragonis deadpanned.

“No shit. I mean what was it made outta. That weren't electricity.”

“Pure Ki. You rely too much on emotional ki. When you use it, it taints you. You become more prone to it. Using confidence will make you overconfident, using anger will make you prone to anger. On top of that, they limit the power of your attack to the power of the emotion you use. The stronger the emotion, the more powerful the attack.”

“You said yesterday that Akane's mallet was made of anger ki. Is that why she's always malleting me and jumping the gun?” Ranma asked.

“No. she does that because she's a raging bitch that needs a good hard fucking.”

“WHAT! That's Akane yer talkin' bout! She's a sweet girl, just a violent maniac.” Ranma quoted Kasumi.

“Look, that girl needs to get laid. Trust me. That much bottled up emotion needs an outlet she can pour it into without hurting herself, or doing permanent damage. Some serious deep dicking would fit the bill.” Dragonis said with a shrug.

“Yer wrong! No way she needs any of...” Ranma turned beat red, “that!”

“Whatever.” Dragonis dropped the subject. “you ready to go on.”

“Yeah.” Ranma decided to pretend the last part of their conversation had never happened.

The enclosed back yard of the Neko Haten doubled as a training area for the amazons that ran it. Shampoo was currently doing kata work with her bonbories. She had about an hour before customers would start showing up. Plenty of time to work on her form, and her plans to ensnare one Ranma Saotome.

Originally, Ranma had shown up at her village in his cursed form, a girl. It had been during the yearly tournament and the prize was the title of village champion, a huge feast for family and friends, and all the respect and honor to go with it. Ranma and his father, in panda form, had eaten the feast. A great insult.

When Shampoo had challenged Ranma to regain her honor, she had lost, and by the laws of her village, been honor bound to hunt her to the ends of the earth to kill her. Now, amazons were not stupid or foolish. The kiss of death was actually a test. If the recipient proved honorable, they were adopted by the tribe, if they were proved other, they were to die to protect the tribe.

When Shampoo finally caught up to Ranma, he had defeated her with her own weapon, in guy form. This meant that she had to give him the kiss of marriage. A pledge to bring him into the tribe as her husband. Unfortunately, she had to be punished for giving the kiss of death to a Jusenkyo victim, the punishment being a dip in Jusenkyo herself. She had been lucky, her curse was that of a cat, rather than one of the less desirable ones.

Ever since she had been in pursuit of Ranma's affection she had come up against obstacles no other Amazon had ever had to deal with. Rampaging fiancés, suitors, insane martial artists, monsters, and his family had all popped up around her husband to be. Sometimes, obstacles were for killing, other times, that would drive off her future mate.

At first. She had pursued him out of obligation, but after the ghost cat incident, she found herself falling for him hard. She knew she loved him, but he still couldn't decide where his heart lay. She had tried to outright seduce him, using her extreme feminine whiles to turn him into a quivering mass of hormones. She was both impressed and mildly annoyed when his nose didn't erupt in blood.

She had tried many tricks to make him realize his feelings for her, including magic, drugs, and spices meant to bring out the emotions he already had. She had never attempted to force him to love her, just acknowledge that he did. Even the Love Pill needed the emotions to be there before it could work. She was growing frustrated.

Cologne watched her heir do a familiar kata through a window of the Neko Haten. She always did that one when thinking of Ranma. Cologne new her great-granddaughter loved the boy, but she did not think he returned her affections. She had to get the boys blood into the tribe, some how. He was too valuable a commodity to simply let go. A genius at martial arts who had defeated Saffron.

That was the deal clincher for Cologne. The tribe needed his blood, but the tribe could not afford to antagonize him. She wanted him to marry her great granddaughter, but if that didn't seem likely to happen then there were other ways. She watched her great granddaughter perform her kata, thinking on the future, and the possibilities.

Two figures blurred in motion, clashing against each other in frenzied combat, a high paced dance of death. At least, to the casual observer. To those capable of looking closer, the blurring fighters were anything but frenzied. They both moved by instinct. Smooth motion, wasting no movement. Attacks and blocks traded along with ducks and dodges. But the most telling thing, to those who would watch closely, was that both wore matching smiles of true delight.

Dragonis was ecstatic. Ranma was the single most talented mortal martial artist he had ever encountered. The boy was easily equal in skill to himself when he had gained his immortality. If he was still mortal, he didn't know who might win in a fight between the two of them.

Ranma was on cloud nine. Here he had an opponent that he could go all out with, the man could keep up with him, even push him harder! And his own limits had gone up considerably since he had bested Saffron. The past seven months in hell had born truly amazing fruit.

“You're doing well, Ranma. But can you step it up a notch?” Dragonis called out, good naturedly.

“Oh, I think I can do that.” Ranma smirked. “Shukuchi!” Suddenly Ranma vanished as high speed impacts threw dust off the floor. Dragonis smiled. The file had said he caught on fast, but see it in the works. Impressive.

Dragonis blurred out of sight as well, the two of them only becoming visible for split seconds at a time, blocking each other. So fast was their speed, that at times, they appeared to be in two places at once. Ranma suddenly appeared on one side of the dojo. Dragonis appearing on the opposite side.

“Mouko Takabisha!” Ranma fired off his signature ki blast. Dragonis immediately countered with his White Lightning, wondering what Ranma had up his sleeve. Once again, the lightning blew through the ki blast, but this time, Ranma had one more thing to say. “Instant Substitution!”

Dragonis suddenly found himself disoriented as he switched places with Ranma, directly in the path of his own attack. “Well shit.” The lightning hit him full on, sending him flying into the back wall. He bounced off and tumbled into a smoking heap on the floor.

“You sneaky, sneaky bastard.” Dragonis said in amusement as he got up, shaking himself to get rid of the cobwebs. That wasn't in his file. New technique he just came up with? Nice. Dragonis smiled. “As interesting as that was, don't expect it to work again.”

“I got other tricks.”

“Well, your Hiryu-Shoten-Ha won't work since I don't give off hot ki. You've already used your Kachu Tenshin Amagurikan, Bakusai Tenketsu, Umi-Sen-Ken, Mouko Takabisha, Yami-Sen-Ken, and Kajin Raju Dan. Not to mention that new move of yours, the Instant Substitution. So, how about I start teaching you some new things?”

“Hell yes!” Ranma shouted.

“Fine, fine. Have a seat. Before I start you on brand new stuff, I'm going make sure you master the techniques you already know.”

“Whatcha talkin' about? I already mastered all my techniques.” Ranma replied indignantly.

“You mastered them as far as you've learned them, but do you really think the amazons would teach an outsider the complete version of any of their secret techniques.”

“That... makes sense, I guess.” Ranma replied with a sinking feeling. Most of his best moves were Amazon in origin.

“Some of their best stuff was used to combat Saffron over the last three thousand years. Even they haven't fully developed some of the skills to completion. Take the soul of ice for example. You were use it to keep calm and leave a cold ki trait to pull off the Hiryu-Shoten-Ha. They use it for that, and to cool the area around themselves so that they may survive battling an opponent while surrounded by fire. After all, they never got their hands on the Gekkaja .”

“Those bastards!” Ranma shouted. “ They let me fight him using flawed techniques! I could have died! And all so they could protect their secrets!” Ranma was red faced in his anger.

“And would you have stopped to learn those techniques, abandoning Akane to her death while you trained?” Dragonis asked. Ranma's anger sputtered out and died. “No? I didn't think so. Let it go, this time.”

“The Aura of Ice is the first step towards mastering your current technique set. Sit down.” Dragonis suited action to words, and Ranma sat opposite him. The lessons had begun.

“Damn it! He vanished again!” The demon was very much unhappy. “This is unacceptable! First he vanishes for a week, now he's gone again a day after he returns. How am I supposed to sow chaos if the target can not be found. Inconceivable!”

This wasn't good. His master would not be pleased. The path of godhood had been removed, but He needed to keep Ranma surrounded by chaos or he might find it again. That would be worth more than his life.

“Find him! Now!” he shouted at his underlings. They scattered in fear. He needed to do something fun to take his mind off this. Perhaps another youma could be sent into Juuban. That was always amusing.


Authors Notice – Work has picked up again. That being the case, I will, undoubtedly, be updating with less frequency until we reach another slow period.