Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction / Big O Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Digimon Fan Fiction / Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ ANIME DEATHMATCH!!! ❯ The Last Time... ( Chapter 19 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Starcatcher: Hey everyone! Sorry about the delay! We've been having some…er…difficulties involving my computer…but it's just fine now! We have everything under control!

(In the background, Vulpes, Kat, Sparky, Melvin, and Andy are seen being chased by a gigantic computer which cackling evilly as it tries to kill them.)

Vulpes: WHAT DO WE DO!?!

Sparky: JUST…KEEP…RUNNING!!!

Kat: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT SPARKY!!!

Sparky: MY FAULT!?!

Vulpes: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HAD TO TEST AND SEE IF STARCATCHER'S COMPUTER COULD BE POSSESSED!!!

Sparky: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT IT WOULD ACTUALLY WORK AND THE THING WOULD TRY TO KILL US!?!

Melvin: I TOLD YOU IT WOULD HAPPEN!!!

Sparky: OH WHAT DO YOU KNOW!?!

Andy: THIS IS RETARDED!!! (Stops running and is squashed by the evil computer) ERK! (Dies)

Melvin: HELP US!!!

Starcatcher: Uh…lets just start the story now…

********************

(In the Cast Room, where only the cast members of the show are allowed…)

Kat: Dum de dum…hum ho…I wonder where Starcatcher is? Do de do…

Vulpes: (Grins) Doom de doom doom de-

Kat: NOOOOOO! NOT THAT STUPID SONG!!!

Sparky: (Comes bursting in) GUYS! IT'S HORRIBLE!!!

Melvin: *GULP* Horrible?

Vulpes: What's horrible?

Sparky: It's terrible…TERRIBLE!!!

Kat: What besides the fact that Blade still isn't back from sparring with the Harbenger of Doom?

Sparky: Guys…it's over…

Melvin: What's over?

Sparky: The show…this is the last episode…

Kat: WHAT!?!

Melvin: IT CAN'T BE!!!

Vulpes: NO! This can't be the end!

Sparky: It is…see for yourself! (Holds up the title, which reads "The Last Time")

Kat: You mean…after all we've been through…it's over?

Sparky: (Sadly nods) Yeah…

Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Kat: And Blade isn't even here!

Everyone: (Sweat drop)

Starcatcher: (Enters and seems to be in a good mood) Hey guys! You all ready for today's show? It's gonna be great!

Kat: Uh…yeah…

Starcatcher: Well, the show's about to start so we'd better head over to the announcer's box! (Leaves)

Vulpes: Why is she so happy? Doesn't she know it's the last episode?

Melvin: I bet she does know but doesn't want to worry us, so she's trying to pretend as though everything's okay.

Sparky: Yeah…

Kat: Well…if this is going to be the last episode, then lets at least try to make it as memorable as possible!

Others: YEAH!!! (They leave, but Andy, whom no one noticed, is still sitting in a chair, drinking cold cocoa because he's too much of a wimp to drink it hot)

Andy: Retards…(Sips cocoa, then spits it out) DANG! It's too cold!

********************

Starcatcher: Hey everyone! Welcome to a very special episode of ANIME DEATHMATCH (echo)!!! Right guys?

Others: Oh! Right…

Starcatcher: We're going to be taking a look at the outtakes from each episode, plus some bonus features that we were originally never allowed to show!

Kat: And I'm sure we all know why…

Starcatcher: (Puzzled) Huh?

Kat: Nothing!

Starcatcher: Lets get started, shall we?

********************

{INTRO}

[At the very beginning.]

Director: Why exactly am I directing this?

Starcatcher: Because.

Director: That's not a good reason! Why am I directing this? Why can't YOU direct?

Starcatcher: I'm too busy being the host! Plus it would lead the readers to believe that I am conceited.

Director: I see…

Starcatcher: Plus the fact that the Directors in such outtake stories usually tend to go insane or get killed.

Director: (Stares) WHA-!?!

Starcatcher: Oh look! The show's about to start!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Vulpes gets angry about the echo]

Vulpes: THAT'S IT!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! WHAT THE <BEEP> IS WITH THAT ECHO?!!!! ...Hey? Why did I get a beep for <BEEP>?

Starcatcher: The censors...they don't allow any cuss words before a fight.

Vulpes: Damn those <BEEP>-in censors...hey? How come I can say "damn?"

Starcatcher: It was in the Bible.

Vulpes: Stupid Bible...stupid censors!

(Two FBI Guys appear.)

FBI Guy #1: You're under arrest.

Vulpes: WHAT!?! WHY!?!

FBI Guy #2: For insulting the censors! They're people too ya know!

(The Two FBI Guys drag Vulpes away.)

Vulpes: LET GO OF ME!!! I'LL SUE!!! (Is dragged away)

Director: (Sweat drop) Uh…take five everyone…we're going to need some time to get Vulpes back…

(Later…)

Starcatcher: Well Vulpes, are you happy now?

Director: (Grumbling) She's better be…

Vulpes: (Jumps into a swimming pool full of cash) Yes I am…very happy indeed!

Starcatcher: (Turns to face another figure) Thanks for your help.

Birdman: It was my pleasure. (Shakes hands with Starcatcher)

Starcatcher: (Pulls her hand away and shudders) Eww…suddenly I feel so dirty…

Birdman: (To Vulpes) By the way, I'll be taking 99.99% of your winnings to pay for my services.

Vulpes: WHAT!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (Watches as Birdman takes all the money)

Birdman: (Carrying the sack of money over his back as he flies off) BIIIRDMAAAN!!!

Vulpes: (Left with a nickel and glares at Birdman's retreating form) I'll get him for this…

Director: Plot your revenge later! We still have a show to do!

Vulpes: Yes MOTHER!

Director: (Glares, then sighs) Why do I have the feeling I'm going to regret this…

Starcatcher: I have no clue…(Types that terrible things happen to the Director)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When it is revealed that Melvin works there]

Starcatcher: Uh-huh. We hired him after Trunks quit. He's the one crewmember who was originally from an anime. And he works for free! Isn't that convenient?

Melvin: HEY! I'm only working for free because you threatened to make me fight some big, ugly, hairy guy that smells if I didn't!

Vulpes: (Shrugs) It's not like it matters because he's going to fight you anyways.

Melvin: WHAT!?! (Gets grabbed) Mommy! (Bacterium grabs him and carries him off as everyone else covers their noses to keep from smelling the stench)

Director: CUT!

(Next take…)

Melvin: HEY! I'm only working for free because you threatened to make me fight some big, ugly, hairy guy that smells if I didn't!

Starcatcher: (Sniff, sniff) Hey…what's that smell?

Vulpes: EWWWWW!!! (Covers her poor nose)

Melvin: (Grumbling) Being trapped under Bacterium's armpit for an hour can do that to you…

Director: (Sighs) Everyone take five! And Melvin, you'd better be cleaned up by then!

Melvin: What are you, my mother?

Director: NO! (Whacks him on the head with Heero's laptop) I'm much worse!

Heero: MY LAPTOP!!!

(The next take…)

Melvin: HEY! I'm only working for free because…uh…hello? HELLO!?!

Vulpes: Come on Heero…it's not so bad…

Starcatcher: Heero…slowly put the gun down and we'll talk about this…

Heero: (Pointing gun at the Director) You…murdered…my…LAPTOP!!!

Starcatcher: Heero, you can't kill the Director. We need him to continue the show!

Heero: (Clicks safety off)

Director: MOMMY! (Hides behind Vulpes)

Starcatcher: Don't you think you're overreacting just a little?

Heero: What do you mean?

Starcatcher: First of all, it's not damaged or anything. Secondly, Melvin's head is so soft, nothing could be broken over it. And thirdly, you can't murder something THAT WAS NEVER ALIVE TO BEGIN WITH!!!

Heero: (Glares) …

Vulpes: Yeah! It's not like it can feel any pain when I do this! (Swings laptop, hitting Wing Zero, causing the Gundam to fall into a million and one pieces)

Everyone: (Stares)

Heero: (Stares before turning to give Vulpes one of his death glares)

Vulpes: (Looking at the laptop in shock) Whoa…talk about durable!

Melvin: Uh…Vulpes? You…might want to run now…

Vulpes: Why? (Barely misses getting hit by a bullet) Oh…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (Runs off screaming)

Heero: COME BACK HERE!!! (Chases after her)

Starcatcher: This is gonna take a while…

Director: Why me? CUT!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Vulpes is upset when she found out about Trunks quitting]

Vulpes: *Boo-hoo-hoo* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

(Suddenly, all the audience member's heads explode.)

Starcatcher: (Stares) What the…!?!

Kat: WHOA!!!

Melvin: Cleanup in aisle…er…nevermind…

Director: CUT!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Starcatcher and Blade are whispering about Andy]

Starcatcher: Which was why I made him the referee.

Blade: But why make me a janitor? Why not make me a security guard?

Vulpes: Because you'll most likely abuse your power and try to destroy the planet, not to mention all of us!

Blade: What the…? You could hear us?

Kat: Well you guys weren't very quiet over there…

Director: Can we PLEASE just do the intro right so we can get it over with?

Blade: But that takes all the fun out of it!

Director: (Evil glare…evilly evil glare…*shudder*)

Everyone: (Sighs) Fine…

********************

{THE TAKEOVER}

Anyway, Dagora left to tell Bobbity that Vegita could be turned evil, while Goku, Gohan, Vegita, and the Supreme Kai were on the third stage, waiting. Vegita was passing the time by making fun of Gohan for being weak and not winning the fight sooner...

Vegita: WELL!?!

Gohan: (Pause as he thinks) I fold…

Vegita: WHAT!?! COME ON! WHAT'S THE POINT OF PLAYING POKER IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO QUIT!

Gohan: But…my Mom'll kill me!

Vegita: (Stares) Weakling! How can you be afraid of a weak woman! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A SAIYA-JIN!!!

Gohan: Have you seen that frying pan she uses!?! IT'S HUGE!!!

Vegita: What frying pan?

Bulma: (Shows up and whacks Vegita's head with the frying pan) WEAK HUH!?!

Vegita: (@_@) I…guess I was…wrong… (Passes out)

Gohan: Well…uh, Dad? What should we do? (Pause) Dad? (Looks around) DAD!!!

Goku: Mmmm…this looks good! (Grabs something that looks like a huge ball of candy)

Supreme Kai: NO GOKU! THAT'S NOT CANDY! IT'S A DIMENSIONAL DEVICE!

Goku: (Eats it) Yum! (Hiccups and Rini appears suspended in midair before falling and landing on her butt)

Rini: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! THAT HURTS!!!

Vegita: (Wakes up) SHUT UP BRAT! (Blasts her)

Rini: (Gets hit by the blast and nothing is left but a pile of ashes in her form, but those get blown away by a mysterious wind)

Vegita: (Passes out again)

Gohan and Supreme Kai: (Stare and sweatdrop)

Goku: (Hiccups again and Buu appears)

Buu: BUU!!! (Steps on Vegita' head)

Supreme Kai: OH NO! IT'S BUU!!!

Gohan: How did he get free!?!

Bulma: (Whacks Buu with the frying pan) GET OFF MY HUSBAND!!!

Buu: SORRY! SORRY!!! (Looks like he's about to cry)

Bulma: Aww…he's so cute…LET'S ADOPT HIM!!!

Everyone else: WHAT!?!

Goku: (Hiccups again and Director appears)

Director: CUT!

(Next take…)

Vegita: You're a lazy, no-good excuse for a warrior! I can't believe you have even a drop of Saiyan blood inside of you! You're a disgrace! It's because of you that Piccolo and Krillin are still stone!

Gohan: Hey! I'm not the one planning on spending my whole life trying to become better than someone who it's impossible to be better than!

Vegita: WHAT?! How DARE YOU!!! I'm the strongest Saiyan! Not Kakarot! And I'm definitely stronger than you!

Gohan: Face it, Vegita! My dad's stronger than you. He'll ALWAYS be stronger than you! Heck, I'M stronger than you!

Vegita: OH YEAH!!! (He and Gohan start to fight)

Supreme Kai: Uh…Goku? Shouldn't you try to stop them?

Goku: Huh? (Hiccups and Godzilla appears and lands on Gohan and Vegita)

Supreme Kai: THAT'S IT! I QUIT!!!

Vulpes: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! PLEASE!?! (Looks at him and her eyes get all big and watery)

Kat: I suggest you don't leave. If you do, you'll make her cry.

Supreme Kai: So?

Vulpes: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (The camera shatters)

Everyone: (Stares)

Starcatcher: Well…he was warned…

Director: (Slaps forehead) Oh great! Thanks a lot!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When they start talking about Vegita's blood pressure.]

Vegita: SHUT UP! My blood pressure's fine (a chart appears showing that Vegita's blood pressure is too high) and you're as weak as he is! (Blasts the chart, but the ki blast bounces off and hits him instead) AUGH!

Director: Uh…let's try that again…

(Next take…)

Vegita: SHUT UP! My blood pressure's fine (a chart appears showing that Vegita's blood pressure is too high) and you're as weak as he is! (Blasts the chart, but misses and hits Andy)

Andy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (Gets blasted to the sun)

Director: Lets try it one more time…

(Next take…)

Vegita: SHUT UP! My blood pressure's fine (a chart appears showing that Vegita's blood pressure is too high) and you're as weak as he is! (Pause)

Director: Vegita? What's the hold up?

Vegita: I forgot what I was supposed to do…

Everyone: (Falls anime style)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Vegita keeps repeating "I don't care."]

Supreme Kai: You're getting annoying!

Vegita: I don't care!

Goku: Vegita! Power down and shut up! I swear! If I hear you say that you don't care one more time, I'll teleport you out to the studio where they shoot the Barney TV show!

Vegita: NO!!!

Kat: Oooh…that's gotta be torture!

Blade: Who knew Goku had it in him?

Vulpes: Makes you think…

Director: Diabolical…but that's not the right line Goku!

Starcatcher: It was pretty good though…

(Next take…)

Supreme Kai: You're getting annoying!

Vegita: I don't care!

Goku: Vegita! Power down and shut up! I swear! If I hear you say that you don't care one more time, I'll…uh…um…what should I threaten him with?

Blade: Threaten to have me beat him up!

Vegita: I'll beat you!

Blade: Yeah right! (They start fighting)

Director: *SIGH* The way things are going, we'll NEVER get this done!

Kat: GOOD! All the more time we have to drive the Director insane…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Gohan mentions the Instantaneous Movement.]

Gohan: Uh...Dad? Why don't you just use Instantaneous Movement to go down to where Babbadi is and destroy him before he gets a chance to do anything else?

Goku: Hey…I never thought of that! Geez that would have made the series so much easier!

Babbadi: Oh crap!

Goku: (Uses Instantaneous Movemen/Instant Transmission/Splorex/whatever but ends up in the Sponsor's office) What the…? Hey! You're-

Sponsor: SHH!!! DON'T TELL!!! My identity is supposed to remain secret!

Goku: But-

Sponsor: I'll give you candy!

Goku: CANDY! (Disappears without ever getting the candy)

Sponsor: (Heaves sigh of relief, then notices the camera) HEY!!! (Rushes towards the camera and nothing but static is seen…)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Supreme Kai is called weak.]

Goku: Well, think about it. I pretty much have a pure heart. Gohan is my son, so he has a pure heart. The Supreme Kai not only has a pure heart, but he's sort of weak-

Supreme Kai: -HEY! I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S WEAK!!! (Creates a small ki blast and throws it, causing it to bounce around the arena like a ping pong ball until it hits Andy)

Andy: NOT AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!! (Is once again blasted into the sun)

Blade: (Blink, blink) Uh…okay…

Vulpes: What are we going to do?

Director: Cut him off at "HEY!" and have Goku continue speaking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When they get tired of waiting for Babbadi to take control of Vegita's mind.]

Goku: Man...Babbadi sure likes to take his time...

Gohan: HEY! HURRY IT UP!!!

(One of the red-colored lasers hits Gohan.)

Gohan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Goku: GOHAN!!! Are you okay?

Gohan: (Zombie like) I serve master Babbadi…

Goku: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Gohan: HAH! HAH! Just kidding! Just kidding!

Goku: JUST KIDDING!?! WHY YOU LITTLE- (Starts choking Gohan)

Kat: Ah…a Simpson's classic…

Starcatcher: Only the first of many…

Blade: Man I love those…

Director: This is getting annoying…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Talking about eating habits.]

Gohan: Yeah. And if you think that's bad, you should see him when he eats!

Goku: HEY!!!

Kat: But you eat a lot too!

Vulpes: YEAH! PIG!!!

Gohan: You want a piece of me!?!

Vulpes: (Giggles) Yeah…actually…

Blade: That was a dumb thing to say…

Starcatcher: HEY! THIS STORY IS PG-13 AND I WOULD LIKE TO KEEP IT THAT WAY IF POSSIBLE!

Kat: Aww…you're no fun!

Director: (Confused) But I thought you said you were the author and not the director, so why are you getting so upset?

Starcatcher: Because as an author, I have an obligation to keep the story within its proper ratings.

Director: Whatever…

Starcatcher: If you have a problem with that, I could replace you with someone else and send you back to directing Hamtaro.

Director: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

[When talking about ways to annoy their parents.]

Gohan: Why don't you say anything about how I shouldn't do anything like this to my parents?

Supreme Kai: Because I hate my parents too.

Blade: (Shocked) You have parents?

Vulpes: (Grab Supreme Kai's arm) Of course! He's going to introduce me to them when he tells them we're getting married!

Everyone: WHAT!?!

Supreme Kai: B…b…but…

Kat: Don't worry, she'll forget all about it once she finds another cute guy.

Starcatcher: She always does…

Director: (Sighs) I feel a headache coming on…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Just Say No To Drugs.]

Goku: (to the audience) Remember kids! Stay in school and don't do drugs! (Everyone gives a thumbs up sign)

Everyone else: (Blink, blink)

Vulpes: Hey! Don't diss the stoners man!

Kat: What type of moron put THAT in?

Blade: The network, who else?

Everyone: (Shudders)

Director: CUT!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[After they're sucked into the portal.]

(Just then, they all get sucked into the portal and disappear! Meanwhile, another portal appeared in the room that Babbadi was in. He, Dagora, and all of Babbadi's other minions get sucked into that portal as well. A few minutes later, the DBZ fighters find themselves in a weird, dark place...)

Gohan: Are we at the tournament?

Goku: It can't be! Unless it's night...

(Just then, Garlic Jr walks by.)

Garlic Jr: Welcome to the Dead Zone!

Vegita: (Whacks Goku) KAKAROT! I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THAT RIGHT AT ALBUQUERQUE!!!

Director: CUT! CUT! CUT!

********************

{THE COMEBACK}

[When Starcatcher pulls out the chart and explains her plan.]

Starcatcher: (Pulls out a chart and a big stick which she uses to point at different things on the chart) The plan is to sneak into the studio through the air ducts and make our way to-(Accidentally pokes Andy in the eye with the stick) HEY! GET YOUR EYE OFF THE STICK!!!

Andy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! MY EYE!!! MY EYEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! (Runs around in circles and crashes into the wall, then falls unconscious)

Director: CUT!

(Next take…)

Starcatcher: (Pulls out a chart and reaches to pick up the stick when she notices it's gone) Hey! Where's the stick?

Blade: (Using the stick as an extra chopstick, then notices the looks he's getting) What? I was hungry!

Director: Maybe you should just use a laser pointer…

(Next take…)

Starcatcher: (Pulls out a chart and a laser pointer which she uses to point at different things on the chart, but when she turns the laser pointer on, it turns into a super powerful laser and burns a hole not only through the chart, but also through the wall, and it continues, burning holes through several planets, moons, comets, and even a satellite) What the…? (Looks at the batteries) HEY! These are 1000-watt batteries!

Vulpes: I was wondering where I put those…

Director: CUT!

(Next take…)

Starcatcher: (Pulls out a chart and a laser pointer which she uses to point at different things on the chart) The plan is-

Andy: What's that retarded light you retard? (Gets right in way of the light, so it shines in his eyes) AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! MY EYES!!! MY EYEEEEEEEEES!!! I'M BLINDED!!! YOU'VE BLINDED ME YOU RETARD!!! I'LL SUE!!!

Director: Uh…let's just use the stick…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When they start their plan to take their show back.]

(They enjoy the rest of their vacation, and finally return to their home city, "Homecity.")

Blade: Now that's a rather stupid name for a hometown…

Starcatcher: What would you have preferred? Bladesville?

Blade: (Grin) Now that you mention it…

Director: CUT!

(Next take…)

(They enjoy the rest of their vacation, and finally return to their home city, "Homecity." Babbadi is STILL going over the list, giving the gang enough time to get to the studio and get inside the air ducts.)

Sparky: Wait for me!

Blade: What are you doing here?

Sparky: I'm going to help you, that's what!

Starcatcher: But…why?

Sparky: I'm doing it for all the benefits I crave that come along with this show! A car! The most advanced technology I can find in order to take over the show! You know! Anything to avoid real work!

Mai: HEY! YOU CAN'T GO AROUND STEALING OTHER PEOPLE'S MATERIAL! I'LL SUE!!!

Everyone: (Sweat drop)

Starcatcher: It wouldn't be the first time…

Kat: At least he was some-what honest…

Director: I don't care! That's not in the script! CUT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When they find the secret laboratory.]

Starcatcher: A secret laboratory? JUST HOW DID A SECRET LABORATORY GET HERE?!

Dexter: (whistles innocently)

Deedee: (Eyes get all big and shiny) Ooooooh…what does this button do? (Pushes button and a huge explosion is heard)

Everyone: (Stares)

Director: (Sighs and shakes head) Boy I need a drink…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Blade has to keep Starcatcher and Sparky from fighting.]

Blade: Uh…guys? As much as I love seeing you two try to kill each other, I think that I should direct your attention to…(Pause)…what am I saying? Go ahead and kill each other!

Vulpes: Five bucks says Starcatcher wins!

Kat: I've learned to never bet on a sure thing…

Director: CUT! Don't you people bet enough already?

Blade: No. We're still trying to determine how long it'll take you to go insane.

Director: Why me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Babbadi tells Dagora to push the stasis lock button the first time.]

Babbadi: *SIGH* Just push the button, you moron!

Dagora: Okey-dokey! (Pushes the button.)

Blade: Okey-dokey? WHAT TYPE OF FREAK SAYS THAT!?!

Vulpes: You just did…

(Pause…)

Blade: Somebody kill me now…

Director: Fine by me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Andy finds out they could have just teleported to the announcer's box.]

Andy: WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER TELL ME YOU GUYS KNEW HOW TO TELEPORT?!!

Starcatcher: You never asked…

Andy: Well…WHY THE HELL DID WE GO THROUGH ALL THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

Blade: For the soul purpose of making your life at least a fraction of how miserable you make ours every single day…

Andy: HEY!!!

Director: Even though it is true…CUT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[During the scene the huge cloud of dust appears.]

Vulpes: (Currently punching someone) I've got Babbadi!

Blade: That's ME you moron!!!

Vulpes: Sorry Blade! (Pauses, then punches him two more times)

Blade: HEY!

Starcatcher: Stop flirting you two!

Kat: (Flames appear in her eyes) WHAT!?!

Blade: (Glares at Starcatcher) I'll get you for this!

Starcatcher: Yeah…sure you will…

Director: CUT!!!

********************

{MORE TROUBLE}

[When Starcatcher disappears into the portal]

Kat: Where is Buu and who is gonna fight him?

Sparky: WHATAREWEGONNADOOOOOO?!!

Starcatcher: Here's an idea! We could-(Suddenly, a portal opens and swallows Andy, then disappears)

(Pause…)

Kat: Well, now that he's gone, who wants tacos?

Director: CUT!

(Next take…)

Kat: Where is Buu and who is gonna fight him?

Sparky: WHATAREWEGONNADOOOOOO?!!

Starcatcher: Here's an idea! We could-(Suddenly, a portal opens, swallowing her) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (Falls through and portal disappears.)

(Pause…)

Kat: Everybody say PPPAAARRRTTTYYY! Everybody say PPPAAARRRTTTYYY!

Director: CUT!

Kat: C'mon! Live a little!

Director: Maybe you're right…

Vulpes: I'll order pizza!

Melvin: I'll bring chips!

Blade: And I'll take care of…the refreshments…(Evil grin)

[When Starcatcher returns in a bright flash of light.]

(The light disappears, revealing…)

Starcatcher: I'm back! (Stares in shock when she sees (almost) everyone drunk and several bottles strewn about the place) What…the…(Sweat drop) I gave up being worshiped as a god for THIS!?!

Melvin: *HICCUP* Shuddap Starcasher, yoursh so stuuupid…

Vulpes: A drunk Melvin…

Kat: Now that's something you don't see everyday…

Starcatcher: Maybe you guys shouldn't have let him drink!

Blade: Hey! It's not our fault he can't hold his liquor like we can!

Starcatcher: (Sighs) Maybe I should retire…save myself the insanity…

Melvin: (Singing) SHE ISH THE DANSHING KUEEN…

Starcatcher: (Sweat drop)

Everyone else: (Laughs)

Director: (Passed out) I wan my tuddy…

Starcatcher: (Bigger sweat drop)

Everyone else: (Stares, then laughs harder)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Goku and Vegita return.]

Goku: Hey everyone, what's up?

Gohan: DAD!!! Where were you?!

Goku: At that restaurant outside. (Everyone falls anime style) Hey guess what? We met this guy there!

Old Kai: (Enters and smiles at Vulpes) You're a pretty young thing…

Vulpes: Uh…why is he looking at me like that?

Goku: Well…he promised to awaken Gohan's sleeping powers…

Vulpes: (Angry) Let me get this straight…you used me as a bargaining chip!?!

Goku: Well…yeah…

Vulpes: (Flames appear in eyes)

Goku: Don't get mad! It was the only way we could think of to beat Buu!

Starcatcher: Uh…Goku? I created Buu…

Goku: YOU CREATED HIM!?!

Starcatcher: (Nods) And that means he listens to me…

Goku: So…this was just a big waste of time?

Blade: Not for us because now we're going to watch in amusement as Vulpes tries to kill you.

Goku: HUH!?! (Looks to see that Vulpes has gone SSJ) Uh…oh!

Kat: (Smiles evilly) Oh no…it gets worse…

Vulpes: (Increases to the fourth level and smiles evilly) Now…you'll BOTH pay…

Old Kai: (Runs off, screaming)

Goku: (Gulps) Uh…oh my! I think I hear Chi Chi calling! BYE!!! (Flies off)

Vulpes: GET BACK HERE KAKAROT!!! (Flies off after him)

Vegita: (Smirks)

Blade: I guess it's a good thing Vegita never found out that Goku actually mentions Bulma being the one to kiss that guy.

Vegita: WHAAAAAAAAAT!?! KAAAAAKAAAAAROOOOOT!!! (Flies off in anger)

Kat: BLADE! He heard you!

Blade: (Smiles evilly) I know…I was counting on that…

Starcatcher: Why do I even bother?

Director: (Still passed out) Bo…bo…

********************

{SERENA VS RINI}

[When both fighters stop fighting.]

Starcatcer: It looks like they're both looking at something in the audience…*GASP!* I don't believe it! (Pause) Well actually, I do considering how many fics I've read that involve this sort of thing happening.

Blade: There's too many of them!

Vulpes: WHEN WILL IT END!?! WHEN!?!

Starcatcher: Probably when Darien stops acting like such a moron…

Darien: I'M A PONY!!! (Runs around in a tutu)

Everyone: (Stares)

Starcatcher: Which, by the look of things, won't be anytime soon…

Blade: That just gives me all the more time to torture him…(Smiles evilly)

Director: CUT! Not so loud… (Holds head in pain)

Kat: The curse of the hangover…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Talking about Darien making out.]

Kat: She could be his sister, but considering the way he's making out with her, I highly doubt it.

Blade: Unless it's incest…

Some Random Guy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! BAD MENTAL IMAGE!!! BAD MENTAL IMAGE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Director: OW!!! Be quiet! I've got a major headache!

Blade: I believe the correct term is "HANGOVER!!!"

Director: Don't yell! And it's not a hangover!!!

Blade: Yeah…sure…keep telling yourself that…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When everyone is shocked that Starcatcher actually cursed.]

Starcatcher: KNOCK THE SHIT OUT OF THE STUPID JACKASS!!!

Everyone: (Stares at Starcatcher, shocked) *GASP!*

Starcatcher: (Notices everyone staring) What? …WHAT?! The fight has already started so we can cuss!

Blade: I think they're more shocked about the fact you actually cussed.

Starcatcher: I've been hanging around you guys too long…

Kat: Mission accomplished! (She and Vulpes high five)

Director: CUT!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When they're about to start torturing Darien.]

Serena: Let the torture begin!

Everyone: YAY!

Kat: HOLD IT! NO TORTURE DEVICES ARE ALLOWED IN THIS FIGHT!

Everyone: BOO!

Kat: Aww…what the heck…

Everyone: YAY!

Kat: Oops! Changed my mind!

Everyone: BOO!

Kat: But why not?

Everyone: YAY!

Kat: Nah…

Everyone: BOO!

Kat: (Smirking) I love doing this…

Director: KNOCK IT OFF!!! You're giving me a migraine!

Starcatcher: (Sighs) I think she's enjoying this too much…

Blade: (Playing drums REALLY loudly)

Vulpes: Make that both of them…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[After Rini dies.]

Starcatcher: Don't worry, they're just like Andy…they keep coming back…again…and again…and again…

Vulpes: It never ends, does it?

Starcatcher: Nope.

Andy: (From the ring) SHUT UP YOU RETARD!!! (Just then, a laser beam is fired but it misses him completely) HA! YOU MISSED ME!!!

Director: Lets try that one again…

(Next take…)

Starcatcher: Don't worry, they're just like Andy…they keep coming back…again…and again…and again…

Vulpes: It never ends, does it?

Starcatcher: Nope.

Andy: (From the ring) SHUT UP YOU RETARD!!! (Just then, a laser beam is fired but it hits Bit)

Blade: Well…at least we hit someone that time…

Vulpes: BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!

Director: CUT!

(Next take…)

Starcatcher: Don't worry, they're just like Andy…they keep coming back…again…and again…and again…

Vulpes: It never ends, does it?

Starcatcher: Nope.

Andy: (From the ring) SHUT UP YOU RETARD!!! (Just then, a laser beam is fired but it hits Relena)

Everyone: (Stares)

Kat: Look on the bright side; at least we killed someone annoying this time!

Relena: (Gets up, but is now glowing a bright green color) *GROWL*

Blade: Oh shit! She's radioactive!

Relena: Must…destroy…mankind…(Sees Heero and the glow fades) HEEEEERRRRROOOOO!!!!! (Chases after him)

Director: (Passed out) Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Starcatc her: (Slaps forehead) Oh for the love of…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When the cops show up to arrest Starcatcher.]

Policeguy #1: Starcatcher, you are under arrest for killing your brother!

Policeguy #2: Put your hands in the air!

Starcatcher: How did they find out?! (Everyone looks at Andy's body) Oh…(Is taken away)

(A few seconds after they leave, Sparky gets up, grinning.)

Sparky: Hee hee hee! It worked! NOW I'M IN CHARGE!!! (Begins laughing manically) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-ACK!!! (Runs out of air and falls unconscious)

Vulpes: Now what?

Blade: We could always have another party…

Kat: Everybody say PPPAAARRRTTTYYY! Everybody say PPPAAARRRTTTYYY!

********************

{NIGHT OF THE LIVING REVIEWS PART 1}

[At the very beginning when Vulpes shows up.]

Vulpes: (Comes running into the room) GUYS! GUYS! GUESS WHAT?!

Kat: What?

Vulpes: (Twirls around) It's a MIRACLE!!! (Accidentally rams into the wall, creating a gigantic hole) Uh…whoops?

Blade: Anyone still have any of the drinks from the last episode?

Director: NO! NO MORE DRINKING!!! I WAS SICK THROUGOUT THE ENTIRE EPISODE LAST TIME!!!

Kat: It's not our fault you can't hold your liquor!

Starcatcher: But it IS your fault for giving it to him!

(Next take…)

Vulpes: (Comes running into the room) GUYS! GUYS! GUESS WHAT?!

Kat: What?

Vulpes: (Twirls around) It's a MIRACLE!!!

Blade: You've finally realized that there's more to life than boys?

Vulpes: Yeah! How did you know?

Kat: It won't last…

(Bit comes walking by, fully recovered from the mishap before.)

Vulpes: BIIIIIT!!! (Leaps on him, sending them crashing through the wall, creating another gigantic hold)

Andy: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA-(Falls over, crashing into the Director and knocking them both unconscious)

Vulpes: Um…oops?

(Next take…)

Vulpes: (Comes running into the room) GUYS! GUYS! GUESS WHAT?!

Kat: What?

Vulpes: (Twirls around) It's a MIRACLE!!!

Blade: You've finally realized that there's more to life than boys?

Vulpes: Nope!

Kat: (Hopefully) Andy's dead for good and won't EVER come back?

Vulpes: No.

Melvin: You've finally discovered that you really do love me?!

Vulpes: YES!!!

Melvin: Do you want to marry me?

Vulpes: I…I…I DOOO!!! (Jumps into Melvin's harms and kisses him)

(Vulpes then wakes up from the nightmare, screaming.)

Vulpes: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! *Whew!* What a horrible nightmare…(Notices an engagement ring on her finger) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(Vulpes then wakes up from the nightmare, screaming.)

Vulpes: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! *Whew!* It was just another nightmare…(Notices she's in a wedding dress and Melvin is sleeping next to her) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Starcatcher: ENOUGH WITH THE DREAMS ALREADY!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[After reading the review from Tenshi Cat.]

Everyone (except Wufei): *Snicker, snort*

Wufei: KNOCK IT OFF!!! (Muttering) Weak onnas…

Duo: Sure thing…Wufie!

Everyone else: (Bursts out laughing)

Wufie…I mean, Wufei: DIE MAXWELL!!! (Reaches to grab his sword only to find it isn't there) WHAT THE…? WHERE'S MY SWORD!?!

Starcatcher: Why don't you ask that big group of angry women right behind you?

Wufei: Wha…? (Turns around to find an angry mob of women glaring at him) Oh boy…

Angry Mob of Women: YOU'LL PAY FOR CALLING US WEAK!!! (They all pounce on him)

(A few minutes later…)

Duo: (Passed out from laughing so much)

Everyone else: *Snicker, snort*

Blade: (Stares, shocked) And I thought I knew cruel and unusual methods of torture…this is just…*shudders*

Kat: (Stares) I know… (Grins) isn't it great?

Vulpes: Aww…he's so cute! *^_^*

Starcatcher: (A bit amused) It's things like this that makes this job worthwhile…

Wufei: INJUSTICE!!! (Struggles to get out of the chair he is tied to) I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!!!

Kat: (Smirks) Be sure to use the Passion Pink lipstick!

Mina: But we're out…

Starcatcher: Then use Peacecraft Pink.

Blade: *Shudders*

Kat: You know…it's times like this I actually enjoy doing makeovers…

Blade: *Shudders even more*

Melvin: (To Director, who is now fully awake) Shouldn't you stop them?

Director: Nah…this is getting good!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When explaining why the Japanese names aren't used.]

Kat: Anyway, Firefly the Dancing Author, there is a very simple explanation for that…you see, we know that there are a lot of fans out there who don't know the Japanese names of the characters, so we wanted to be fair to them.

Blade: And besides, considering all the different authors who use different versions of the names, everyone should be pretty used to both versions by now.

Sparky: Then there's the fact that SOME of us are just too lazy and stupid to do it.

Writer: (Barging in) THAT'S IT!!! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU INSULTING ME!!! (Pulls out Wufei's sword and begins chasing Sparky)

Blade: So that's where it went…

Director: Hopefully, the Writer will kill him and I'll have one less person trying to drive me insane…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When mentioning the future fight between the Sailor Scouts and Z Fighters.]

Kat: In case you haven't noticed, the first, second, and third episodes-not counting the intro-have had DBZ in it! And just to let you all know, we are going to have a major fight in a few episodes that will determine which team is stronger…the Sailor Scouts or the Z Fighters.

Blade: But that's so overdone…

Vulpes: Not to mention all the hundreds of DBZ fans and the hundreds of SM fans that would flame us!

Andy: (Eyes get all big and shiny) Flames… (Imagines using the flames to burn the studio down)

Everyone: (Stares and slowly backs away)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[After ChibiChaos's review.]

Starcatcher: It's a good thing we've read her stories or we'd have absolutely no idea what that last part was about! (A.N.: Please read ChibiChaos's stories! They're really good!)

Kat: NO THEY'RE NOT!!!

Starcatcher: KAT! You're not supposed to know about that! That's a-

Disembodied Voice: FOURTH WALL VIOLATION!!!

(A five-year-old version of Andy appears.)

Little Andy: HI! I'm Andy! Who're you?

Kat: (Stares) That's…Andy from the past?

Blade: (Smiles evilly) Well, then I think I have a solution to our Andy problem!

Vulpes: Don't do it! He seems really nice at this age!

Andy: SHUT UP YOU RETARDS!!!

Little Andy: You're retards? That's retarded!

Starcatcher: At least now we know what started it…

Blade: (Chops off Little Andy's head)

Little Andy: (Dies)

Andy: (Begins fading away) NOOOOooooo… (Disappears)

Blade: I love time travel…

Director: (Shakes his head) What do we even have a script for?

********************

{VIDEL VS RELENA}

[When they wonder which of the psychos will die.]

Hero: Please let it be Relena.

Duo: You want Relena to win?

Hero: No, I want her to die! DDDDDIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!! (Gets a psycho look as he grabs a doll that looks strangely similar to Relena and rips it's head off)

Rini: HEY! THAT'S MY DOLL!!!

Hero: Go tell someone who cares! (Begins to massacre the doll)

Rini: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Michiru: Rini, are you all right?

Haruka: What's the matter?

Rini: (Points at Hero) He…HE BROKE MY RELENA DOLL!!!

Haruka: WHY THAT!!! (Begins fighting with Hero)

Vulpes: Why would anyone have a Relena doll in the first place?

Kat: Beats me…

Director: (Bangs head against a wall) This…is…going…to…drive…me…nuts!

Starcatcher: I thought I already made that point clear?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Andy and Videl are making out.]

Kat: (To Andy and Videl) HEY! Do you two think you could make out LATER?!

Andy: SHUT UP RETARD! (Continues making out with Videl)

(One month later…)

Andy: (Still making out with Videl)

Starcatcher: Someone please just kill them already!

Vulpes: No problem! (Pulls a lever, causing an anvil to drop on them)

Kat: What's wrong with Melvin?

Melvin: (On the ground, hugging his knees and rocking back and forth, eyes wide and muttering gibberish) Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod…

Starcatc her: (Stares, then sighs and presses a button which calls the guys from the loony bin to come and take Melvin away) Don't worry, he'll be back to normal sooner or later…

Vulpes: Any time without Melvin is paradise!

Kat: You could be a bit more sympathetic…

Vulpes: But you don't like him either!

Kat: Oh yeah…forget what I said then…

Director: (Sighs) Take five everyone…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[After it is revealed Vegita had an affair and a son because of it.]

Blade: Dang…this really IS turning into a soap opera!

Vulpes: We might as well call this "As The Studio Turns!"

Starcatcher: More like "30 Minutes Of Our Lives."

Director: Or how about "If You All Don't Stop Messing Around And Get The Rest Of The Episode Done Right, I'm Going To Feed You All To The Hamsters From Hamtaro!"

Everyone: (Stares)

Blade: You're going to feed us to a bunch of hamsters?

Director: Correction…EVIL MAN-EATING hamsters!

Starcatcher: (Rolls eyes) As if we couldn't figure THAT out on our own…

********************

{A FUNNY THING HAPPENED…}

[At the beginning, when Raditz is going to kidnap Gohan.]

Raditz: (Grabs Gohan) If you don't kill 100 humans, you'll never see your son again!

Goku: Aw…but that's so hard!

Raditz: TOUGH!!!

Goku: You're the worst big brother in the whole world!

Raditz: THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!

Goku: You never took me to a baseball game!

Raditz: Gee…I'm sorry! We can go watch one now if you want!

Goku: You mean it?

Raditz: Yeah! I'll even buy you a hot dog!

Goku: YAY! (The two leave as everyone else stares)

Yamcha: They are SO-

Starcatcher: Don't you dare!

(Next take…)

Raditz: (Grabs Gohan) If you don't kill 100 humans, you'll never see your son again!

Krillin: Can't we all just…get along?

Raditz: Aw, what the heck! (They all hug as the "So Happy Together" music plays)

Yamcha: I'm telling you! They are-

Starcatcher: KNOCK OFF THE MUSHY STUFF! And Yamcha, I don't want to hear another word out of you!

Yamcha: But-

Starcatcher: (Bashes him several times with a huge mallet)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When the two sailors appear.]

Raditz: MWAHAHAHA-

Voice #1: FREEZE!

Voice #2: DON'T MOVE!

Raditz: Huh?

(Just then, two figures appear out of nowhere.)

Voice #1: I am Sailor Iron Mouse!

Voice #2: And I am Sailor Aluminum Siren!

Iron Mouse: We stand for mice…

Aluminum Siren: We stand for sirens too!

Both: And in the name of whatever stupid planets we come from…(They do the Sailor Moon pose) WE SHALL PUNISH YOU!!!

Everyone: (Sweat drop)

Sparky: And they wonder why they never became real Sailor Scouts?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[During the time they're mentioning a bunch of different people who can fight.]

Blade: Hey…anyone notice anything a bit…off?

Starcatcher: Well…the Director hasn't said anything throughout the entire show.

Vulpes: He's not even here! Where is he?

Kat: (Reading the list) He was arrested for being too finicky.

Blade: Oh well…at least one good thing came from all this!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[What really happened to Draco.]

(Just then, Draco from the Harry Potter dimension arrives.)

Draco: I WILL DEFEAT YOU EVIL VILLAINS AND GET MY OWN SERIES! TAKE THIS! (Pulls out his wand, and casts a spell, but something goes wrong and a pit appears beneath him) Uh-oh…(Grabs on to the edge) *Whew!* (Climbs out safely)

(Just then, Davis and Veemon burst in, slip on the recently waxed floor, and ram into Draco, causing him to fall into the pit as everyone looks on.)

Draco: (Falls) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Davis: (Looks down) Uh…whoops? I guess we killed him…

Draco: (It turns out he is still alive and had been climbing his way out) I'm not dead! (Is about to pull himself up)

Davis: Veemon?

Veemon: V-HEADBUTT!!! (Hits Draco, causing him to fall back into the hole…oh…did we forget to mention the sharp spikes at the bottom?)

Davis: Well…that's done! (Kat appears and pays Davis for killing Draco)

Mercury: (To Kat, shocked) You paid him to kill Draco? WHY!?!

Kat: Well DUH! Because I hate him!

Vulpes: (Holding a list with various names) Quit wasting time Kat! We still have to finish off Rini, Lena, and Kari before we win the prize! (The two rush off)

Moon: Uh…well…that was strange…

********************

{GOKU VS SUPERMAN}

[When Luthor is planning to destroy Superman.]

Lex Luthor: (Holding a piece of Kryptonite) When I throw this piece of Kryptonite-

Sparky: (Singing) I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind…

Ridge: (Blink, blink) He can sing?

Director: CUT! CUT! CUT! ENOUGH SINGING!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Yamcha and Tien talk about marriage.]

Yamcha: (Sitting in the audience next to Tien) Glad I'm not married!

Tien: You can say that again!

Vulpes: Hey! There's an idea! We can have a double wedding! (Looks around evilly for anyone to set them up with)

Tien and Yamcha: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Director: CUT! VULPES! Quit trying to set people up!

Starcatcher: You don't have your own dating show YET!

Kat: YET being the key word there…

Ridge: And hopefully I'll be out of here long before that happens…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Starcatcher sends Blade and Vegita somewhere else.]

(Meanwhile, Blade and Vegita have suddenly appeared in a strange place.)

Vegita: WHERE THE HELL ARE WE!?!

Blade: I have no idea…

Some woman: Hello! Welcome to the Moon Kingdom, the center of the Silver Millennium and full of peace and happiness for all!

Vegita: A place full of peace and happiness for everyone? How nice…

Blade: Sounds like a wonderful place for thousands of innocent people to live…

(Pause…)
(Pause…)
(Pause…)
Vegita: I'm bored.

Blade: Lets blow it up!

Annoying Narrator: And that's how the Moon Kingdom was really destroyed…

********************

{MIRAI TRUNKS VS MINA}

[When taking a look into Blade's heart.]

Blade: I think I'm gonna be sick…this is just too much sap for me to take…

Starcatcher: Maybe that's because you don't have a heart?

Ridge: WHAT!?! HE DOESN'T HAVE A HEART!?!

Kat: Nope! See? (Pulls out a magnifying glass and holds it over where Blade's heart should be, but there isn't anything their except for a sign saying "Eat at Joe's")

Everyone: (Stares)

Vulpes: Now how did that get there?

Blade: I couldn't help it! I was hungry!

Starcatcher: You're a Saiya-jin…you're ALWAYS hungry!

Director: This is just getting stupid now…

Ridge: Tell me why I'm here again?

********************

{TIFA VS AERIS}

[When they're wondering why everyone hates Darien so much.]

Vulpes: Here's a question…why does everyone hate Mamoru/Darien?

Kat: Because he's a moron.

Blade: He's a wimp! Only wimps fight in tuxedos and attack their enemies with ROSES!!!

Ridge: And he keeps getting brainwashed or controlled by the bad guys almost EVERY time!

Vulpes: Oh…I always thought it was because he got it on with Rini…

Director: Too…much…INFORMATION!!! (Faints)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When there's someone up on the catwalk.]

Ridge: There's someone up on the catwalk!

(All the cats from each of the animes are seen prancing about on the catwalk.)

Everyone: (Stares)

Sparky: Well…I guess that's why it's called a "catwalk!" Get it!?! GET IT!?!

Director: Can we please continue already?

Blade: He's got a point. This isn't funny; it's just plain stupid!

Sparky: Quiet! I gave you money, so shut up and go along with what I say!

Blade: (Looking into the bag) HEY! THESE ARE ROCKS!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Kefka and Sparky argue about the laugh.]

Sparky: MY LAUGH ISN'T LOUSY!

Kefka: It's MY laugh! I won't let you get away with doing a horrible imitation of my laugh!

Sparky: (Sneers) And just what are you gonna do about it?

Kefka: I'LL SUE!!!

Sparky: (Stares, eyes wide in fear) Y…you can't do that!

Kefka: Want a bet? (Whistles and two lawyers appear)

Sparky: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (Runs while the lawyers chase after him)

Kefka: (Does his insane laugh) NOW THIS SHOW IS MINE!!!

Blade: (Whacks Kefka with the bag of rocks)

Kefka: Oof! (Passes out)

Blade: Hmm…I guess these rocks are good for something after all…

Director: For the love of…

********************

{NIGHT OF THE LIVING REVIEWS PART 2}

[After reading Zpan Sven's review.]

Ridge: (Stares) He keeps trying to kill Hotaru's boyfriends?

Blade: What's so bad about that? We do the same thing to Vulpes's boyfriends.

Starcatcher: (-.-;;;) Which would probably explain why most of them ended up missing, am I right?

Blade: Uh…maybe…

Ridge: But if he keeps trying to kill Hotaru's boyfriends, then why doesn't he kill-

Kat: (Covers Ridge's mouth) Probably because he doesn't know about that, and it would be better for everyone if he continued to not know…

Blade: (Evilly) Not know what? That Hotaru is dating-

Starcatcher: (Glares at Blade) Don't even try it…

Director: (Opens a six pack of beer and begins to chug them down one after another)

Vulpes: Chug-a-lug! Chug-a-lug!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[After reading ChibiChaos's first review.]

Blade: Why don't I get any chocolate?

Kat: Because you tried to destroy the world! BAD BROLLI!!! (Thwaps him)

Blade: (Rubs his head where Kat thwapped him) Ow!

Sparky: He is sooo whipped!

Blade: AM NOT!!!

Sparky: (Begins making whip noise)

Vulpes: (Starts doing the same)

Blade: (Goes SSJ 3) KNOCK IT OFF!!!

Both: Aww…

Director: (Passed out) X_x

Ridge: (Stares at the Director) Uh…guys? He passed out.

Kat: That's okay. It's not like he ever did anything useful anyways.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[After reading the review from Firefly the Dancing Author.]

Ridge: Didn't we have a statue of her in the arena?

Vulpes: Yeah, all her fans came and built it out of black marble, but it's disappeared somehow.

(In the arena, Hotaru's statue is missing.)

Everyone: *GASP!* WHO COULD DO SUCH A THING!?!

(Suddenly, the roof caves in and Hotaru's statue is seen.)

Audience: (Screams and runs around in circles)

Hotaru's Statue: (Grabs Duo and walks off)

Everyone: (Stare)

Ridge: Well…at least now we know what happened to the statue…

Starcatcher: All right…who brought the statue to life!?!

Dr. Fakenstein: (Whistles innocently)

********************

{UH…OOPS?}

[When mentioning Chibi Chaos and her chocolate bar.]

Kat: (Hugs Blade) TAKE THAT CHIBI CHAOS!!!

Blade: Can't…breathe…

Sparky: Speaking of which, hey Blade. Chibi Chaos sent you a chocolate bar!

Kat: (Glares at Sparky)

Sparky: (Nervous) Err…but it mysteriously disappeared. (Reaches for the chocolate bar, but it is no longer there) What the…? Where's the chocolate!?!

Director: (Chocolate is smudged all over his face) I have no clue.

(Next take…)

Kat: (Hugs Blade) TAKE THAT CHIBI CHAOS!!!

Blade: Can't…breathe…

(Pause.)
(Pause.)
(Pause.)

Director: Hey Sparky! Where's the chocolate bar?

Sparky: (Mouth is full, but he gulps it down before speaking) What chocolate bar?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When the Giant Relena grabs Heero.]

Giant Relena: RRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!! (Sees Heero) HHHHHEEEEEEEEEERRRRROOOOO!!!

Heero: (In a small voice) Help me!!!

Giant Relena: (Grabs Heero and stomps off)

(At this exact moment, for some strange unknown reason, the ceiling caves in and crushes the director)

Director: X_x

Everyone: (Stares)

Kat: The revenge of the Hamtaro haters…

Anti-Hamtaro fans: (Grin)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[After defeating the Giant Relena.]

(Later, back at the Anime Deathmatch show…)

Sparky: Well…at least this is all over…

Ridge: You can say THAT again…

Sparky: Well…at least this is all over…

Ridge: You can say THAT again…

Sparky: Well…at least this is all over…

Ridge: You can say THAT again…

Sparky: Well…at least-

Director: (Head is bandaged) KNOCK IT OFF!!!

********************

{AIEKA VS RYOKO}

[When wondering where Vulpes is.]

Starcatcher: What are YOU doing here?! Where's Vulpes?

Blade: Aliens abducted her.

Starcatcher: Again?

Director: CUT! Someone bring in the cows for an exchange!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When it is revealed why Blade was driving a Mac-truck.]

Starcatcher: (shakes head sadly) Blade, Blade, Blade...You were kidnapping clowns for your strange twisted experiments again, weren't you?

Blade: (hangs head) Yes...

Director: Hey…my cousin's a clown!

Kat: Whoa…big shock there…

(Next take…)

Starcatcher: (shakes head sadly) Blade, Blade, Blade...You were stealing foreign merchandise and selling it on the black market again, weren't you?

Blade: (hangs head) Yes...

(Just then, two FBI Guys appear and arrest Blade.)

Blade: WHAT!?! WHO SQUEALED ON ME!?!

FBI Guy #1: You did! You're on national television!

Blade: Oh yeah… (Is dragged away)

Vulpes: We're on television? I thought this was a fanfic?

Disembodied Voice: FOURTH WALL VIOLATION!!!

(Suddenly, dozens of mini Andy's and Bob's appear, but since they all look alike and there's no way to tell the difference, we're just going to think of them all as Andy's. They start walking around in circles.)

Kat: WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY!?!

Vulpes: (Covers eyes) AAAAAAAAH!!! THEY'RE HIDEOUS!!!

Audience: (Screams in terror)

Director: They CAN'T be real people!

Andy: Of course they're real people, DUH retard! They're Andy Juniors!

Starcatcher: You're making that up!

Andy: I'm not making it up you retard! They're Andy Juniors from Juniorland!

Starcatcher: There's no such place as Juniorland! I should know! I'm the author!

Andy: Well then, even as retarded as you are, you know all about it! And what a horrible, retarded place it is!

Kat: (Under her breath) I'll bet…

Andy: The poor Andy Juniors were being eaten by the Kuribohs and Moogles and those horrible Beanie Babies!

Everyone: (Blink, blink)

Ridge: Now that makes no sense…

Vulpes: Look! The Andy Juniors are DANCING!!!

(Music starts playing.)

Andy Juniors:
Oompa loompa, doompety-doo.
I've got a perfect puzzle for you.
Oompa loompa, doompety-dee.
If you are wise, you'll listen to me.

What do you do if a show's retarded?
Hosted by a retard who's flipped her lid?
I think the thing that you simply must do
Is get rid of that retard, don't you?

Oompa loompa, doompety-da.
If you flame the retard, you will go far.
You will live in happiness too.
Like Andy Juniors doompety-do.

Doompety-doo.

Everyone: (Stares)

Andy Juniors: (Bow)

Andy: (Bows with them) THANK YOU! THANK YOU! We'll be here all this week so be sure to-

Director: CUT! CUT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! CUT!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Starcatcher kills Andy.]

Starcatcher: FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEE!!! (The blast misses Tenchi completely and hits Andy...killing him)

Blade: OH MY GOD!!!! ANDY'S DEAD!!!!!

Starcatcher: WOO-HOO!!!

Vulpes: (letting go of Tenchi, who makes a run for it) You don't like him very much, do you?

Starcatcher: No.

Blade: Now if only we could just get rid of those messed up Andy Juniors…

(Everyone turns to glance at the Andy Juniors that are currently high. But just then, Oompa Loompas appear.)

Oompa Loompa #20: HEY LOOK! IT'S THE CREEPS THAT WERE STEALING OUR MATERIAL!!!

Oompa Loompa #6: LETS GET THEM!!!

(The Oompa Loompas leap on the Andy Juniors and tear them to pieces.)

Everyone: (Stares)

Kat: Violent little things aren't they?

Director: Okay this has gone far enough! CUT!!!

********************

{MARIN VS MIHOSHI}

[In Starcatcher's daydream.]

(It takes place in a synagogue, where Starcatcher is the pastor, Sparky plays the organ, Eros is dressed in a tux and is being held in place by Kat and Blade. Vulpes begins to walk down the isle, but instead of "Here Comes the Bride," Sparky plays "Heart and Soul" but he plays it badly.)

Blade: Hey…what's the deal?

Sparky: I don't know how to play the organ…

Director: Geez…even in a daydream…CUT!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Sparky makes his "blonde" comment.]

Vulpes: Our fight for today is: Mihoshi from Tenchi Muyo VS Marin from DBZ!

Sparky: ...Over who's the REAL dumb blonde!

Everyone: SPARKY!!!

Sparky: Hey! Don't get mad at me! It's the truth!

Vulpes: But I thought her hair was blue like Bulma's?

Sparky: She dyed it. I've got the pictures to prove it! (Shows pictures of Marin with blonde hair)

Ridge: How exactly did you get these anyways?

Sparky: (Nervous) Uh…well…anyways, anyone hear the one about the blonde that-

Director: CUT! CUT! CUT! NO BLONDE JOKES!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When the phone rings.]

(The phone rings. Starcatcher picks it up.)

Starcatcher: Hello?

Guy from Hannibal: Hello Clarice…

Starcatcher: Wrong number.

Guy from Hannibal: Whoops! My mistake! (Hangs up)

Director: CUT!

(Next take…)

Starcatcher: Hello?

Killer: Do you like…scary movies?

Starcatcher: Yeah, sure.

Killer: What's your favorite?

Starcatcher: Hmm…that's a tough one…I'd have to think about that…

Killer: Oh, take your time. You're rather cute by the way…

Starcatcher: HUH!?!

Director: For the love of…(Grabs phone) WRONG NUMBER!!! (Hangs up) Now…lets try that AGAIN!!!

(Next take…)

Starcatcher: Hello? (Listens for a bit and hangs up)

Vulpes: Who was it?

Starcatcher: Telemarketer.

Everyone: (Screams)

Director: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! (Jumps out of window)

Everyone: (Stares)

Starcatcher: (Looks out window) He has a parachute. He'll be okay.

Blade: (Walks over to window and blows up parachute) Now he won't.

Director: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-*SPLAT!*

Vulpes: Hey…do you guys think we've tortured him enough?

Everyone: (Looks at each other)

(Pause…)
(Pause…)
(Pause…)
Everyone: NAH!

********************

{THIS IS JUST INSANE}

[After Starcatcher mentions there was a problem with the computer.]

(At Starcatcher's house…)

Sparky: STUPID COMPUTER!!! (Smashes computer with a comically large mallet)

Computer: (Comes to life) HOW DARE YOU!!! (Grabs mallet and starts chasing Sparky around, trying to smash him with it)

Sparky: HELP ME!!! DIRECTOR!!! A LITTLE HELP HERE!?!

Director: (Playing Kingdom Hearts, completely oblivious to what's happening) This game ROCKS!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When mentioning that Blade should make a final decision.]

Ridge: When will they stop fighting?

Vulpes: Probably when Blade finally makes his decision…

Blade: HEY! I may be evil, but I'm NOT stupid!

Sparky: Really? It's so hard to tell…

Blade: (Glares)

(Just then, the evil Computer appears out of nowhere.)

Computer: (Begins chasing Sparky with the mallet again) BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Sparky: EEP!!! RUUUUUUN AAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! (Runs off with the Computer chasing after him)

Blade: HEY! YOU CAN'T KILL HIM!!! I STILL HAVE TO GET BACK AT HIM FOR THAT COMMENT FIRST!!! (Chases after them)

(Pause…)
(Pause…)
(Pause…)

Ridge: (To Director) Uh…shouldn't you cut it off now?

Director: (Stares, eyes wide as he is still playing the game) WHAT!?! HOW COULD RIKU DO THAT!?!

Starcatcher: Note to self: Create a fic involving outtakes from Kingdom Hearts…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When it's revealed where Barney REALLY came from.]

Sparky: Oh! Of course! Now I remember! He was one of my earlier experiments to take over the world!

Blade: HOLD IT! Why the HELL would you do such a thing!?!

Sparky: Cause it's COOL!!!

Ridge: (Sighs and shakes head)

Starcatcher: (Thwaps Sparky) Moron…

Director: CUT!!!

Kat: Well…you finally with us now?

Director: Not like I had much of a choice. SOMEBODY stole my Kingdom Hearts game!

Blade: (Not so innocently as he hides the game behind his back) Now who would ever do a thing like that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[After the Inners drag Melvin away.]

Kat: Hey Vulpes? Didn't the inners promise to keep Melvin away from you if he bothered you enough in exchange for giving each of them a Gundam?

Some Random Guy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! GUNDAM!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Sparky: (Grumbling) Five Gundams that you STOLE FROM ME!!!

Starcatcher: Which you, in turn, stole from ME!!!

Sparky: Finders keepers!

Director: THAT'S IT! I'm bringing the hamsters!

Blade: (Grinning evilly) Go ahead…just know that your precious game might not be here by the time they arrive… (Holds a hammer over the game, threateningly)

Director: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

[When Starcatcher makes the challenge to Cupid.]

Starcatcher: To Cupid! That damn God of Love is the main reason for Chibi Chaos and Kat fighting over Blade!

Kat: SHE'S CHIBI CHAOS! CHIBI! MEANING LITTLE/KID/CHILD!!! SHE'S TOO YOUNG TO GO OUT WITH MY BLADE!!! HE'S MINE! DO YOU HEAR ME CHIBI CHAOS!?! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!! (Glomps Blade)

Blade: (Sweat drop and accidentally drops the hammer, which falls on the Kingdom Hearts game, causing it to break into little pieces) Whoops!

Director: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

(Zoom out from the studio.)

Director: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

(Zoom out from the city.)

Director: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

(Zoom out from the continent.)

Director: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

(Zoom out from the planet.)

Director: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

(Zoom out from the Milky Way.)

Director: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

(Zoom out from the universe.)

Director: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

(Zoom back in all the way to the studio, where Starcatcher knocks out the Director with the Frying Pan of Doom.)

Starcatcher: Geez! Quit being so melodramatic!

********************

{ANIME DEATHMATCH PANDEMONIUM}

[After reading Dragonball Gt 1216's review]

Kat: So in other words, they're not the same Trunks!

Ridge: I was wondering about that…

Darien: What are trunks?

Kat: Something you wouldn't know anything about…

Sparky: AAAUUUGGGHHH!!! TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!! TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!

Director: CUT! IN THE NAME OF EVERYTHING SACRED! CUT!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Kurama attacks Darien the first time.]

Kurama: I guess it's my turn…(pulls out a rose and turns it into a whip) ROSE WHIP SLASH!!!

Darien: (Screams like a little girl and tries to jump out of the way, but the whip slashes the elastic holding up his pants, causing them to drop down revealing…)

Kat: Oh…my…GOD!!!

Ridge: I don't believe it!

Blade: It can't be…

Vulpes: Are those…

Sparky: HE'S WEARING PANTIES!?!

Audience: (Faints)

Director: HEY! It's supposed to be Teletubbies UNDERWEAR!!!

Darien: What's the difference?

Kat: (Smirks evilly) Well, underwear has a-

Director: CUUUUUT! KAT! WHY must you continuously sneak NC-17 material into this fic?

Kat: (Shrugs) I dunno. But you do know you just caused a fourth wall violation, right?

Director: Huh?

Disembodied Voice: FOURTH WALL VIOLATION!!!

(A second Andy appears, wearing a futuristic cyber suit.)

Future Andy: Greetings retards! I come from the future with an important message that will save you all from-

Blade: (Shoots Andy with a gunblade) Nah…we won't be having that now…

Kat: Hey…where'd you get that?

Blade: Stole it off Squall.

Starcatcher: And he hasn't come looking for it because…?

Blade: I buried him alive underground inside of one of the teletubbies costumes.

Director: Did you really need to take it THAT far?

Blade: (Shrugs) I dunno…but one of our fans has started their own Deathmatch fic involving characters from all the Final Fantasy games and they kept bashing Squall, so I figured, hey, why not?

Director: (Holding head in hands) Cut…just…cut…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Whe n everyone is doing funny things with the out-of-control ki ball]

(Mina jumps up and lobs the ball in Lena's direction. The ball bounces from Lena's head, onto the heads of Videl, Relena, and Harry, resulting in a hollow sound and all of them shouting "ouch" soon afterwards. The ball then flies over to Ryo, who is conveniently holding a baseball bat. Ryo swings, causing the ball to go flying right towards the forehead of Kari from Digimon.)

Kari: (Screams in fear until the ki ball hits her, leaving nothing but ash)

Everyone: (Blink, blink)

Vulpes: Uh…what happened?

Starcatcher: Hey Davis! You were supposed to save Kari from that blast! What went wrong?

Davis: (Sleeping) Zzz…

Starcatcher: (Sighs) Oh brother…

Sparky: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY KIDS!!!

Director: CUT!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Cell stabs Hercule with his tail]

Hercule: ACK!!! (A red liquid dribbles from his mouth)

Kat: (Goes over to Hercule and wipes the red stuff with a napkin, then turns to face Cell) You smeared strawberry jam from your sandwich on his chin.

Cell: (Confused) What are you talking about?

Kat: Wouldn't want to give the innocent kids reading this any ideas…

Blade: (Torturing Relena on the rack) A little late for that…

Relena: AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!! THE PAIN! HEEEEEROOOOO! SAVE MEH!!!

Heero: (Looks around, confused) Did someone just call my name?

Zechs: (Glancing over to where Relena is) Nah…just your imagination…

Director: Oh geez…CUT!!!

********************

{A FUNNY THING HAPPENED…PART 2}

[After Darien is blasted into the next dimension.]

Darien: (Notices two huge shadows covering the area) What the…?

(Looking down on him are a giant 50-foot tall Chibi Trunks and a giant 50-foot tall Goten.)

Giant Goten: Check this out Trunks! Here's a bug that looks like that weirdo, Darien.

Giant Chibi Trunks: Lets squish it!

Darien: (Runs around in circles, screaming) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-*splat!*

Director: CUT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Vulpes and Kat "fix" Vegita's hair.]

Kat: Done! What do you think? (Hands Vegita a mirror)

Vegita: WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!?!

Melvin: You…you…you…

Starcatcher: (Stares) HE'S BALD!!!

Sparky: Wait a minute! (Points at a spot on Vegita's head) What's that?

Kat: (Pulls out magnifying glass and can clearly see words are written) What the? (Reads the words, which say Vulpes & Eros 4EVAH!!!) VULPES!!!

Vulpes: (Blushing and heaves a love-sick sigh)

Director: CUT!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[After Starcatcher is arrested.]

Vulpes: Uh…now what do we do?

Kat: EVERYBODY SAY PPPPPAAAAARRRRRTTTTTYYYYY!!!

Director: (Grabs Kat by the cuff of her shirt) Listen up! You WILL go to the stupid courtroom and you WILL rescue her and you WILL bring her back here or else I WILL sacrifice you to the overly-obsessed Blade fans!

Kat: (Stares, eyes wide and a bit scared) Uh…okay…fine…lets go! (They leave)

Director: (Blink, blink) They…they listened to me…IT'S A MIRACLE!!! (Pause) Or it could be because there is something big and scary right behind me. (Turns around to see a group of Evil Mad Clowns) Yep…I was right…WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (Runs off, the clowns chasing after him)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[After they enter the courtroom.]

Annoying Announcer Guy Voice-over: This is the trial of Relena Peacecraft, Videl and Hercule Satan, Kari Kamaiya, Harry Champ, Lena Torros, and Darien Shields VS Starcatcher…uh…whatever her last name is! I wish I had gotten a better paying job.

Director: CUT!

(Next take…)

Annoying Announcer Guy Voice-over: This is the trial of Relena Peacecraft, Videl and Hercule Satan, Kari Kamaiya, Harry Champ, Lena Torros, and Darien Shields VS Starcatcher…uh…whatever her last name is! I'm afraid of clowns.

Director: NOBODY CARES! CUT!!!

(Next take…)

Annoying Announcer Guy Voice-over: This is the trial of Relena Peacecraft, Videl and Hercule Satan, Kari Kamaiya, Harry Champ, Lena Torros, and Darien Shields VS Starcatcher…uh…whatever her last name is! The Director is actually my long-lost cousin's brother's aunt's sister's son's cousin!

Director: Really? I mean CUT!!!

********************

{OH THE HUMANITY!}

[After Cupid bribes Sparky.]

Sparky: (Smiles) What can I say? Money talks to me!

Money: Hi!

Director: CUT! (When no one is looking, he pockets the 50-dollar bill)

Sparky: Hey…where did my money go?

Director: (Shrugs) I dunno…

Money: (From inside the Director's pocket) Help me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Goku and Vegita merge to stop Dr. Fakenstein.]

Goku: OH NO! VEGITA! We've got to fuse together and stop him!

Vegita: Oh fine…

(They fuse to stop Dr. Fakenstein, but for some strange reason, instead of Vegita merging with Goku, he merges with…)

Everyone: (Stares, mouths hanging open)

Kat: What…

Vulpes: The…

Cupid: Hell…

Dr. Fakenstein: Happened?

Vulpes: Uh…what should we call…it?

?????: Call me…Melvita!

Vulpes: Melvita?

Kat: You don't mean…?

Director: Somehow, Vegita has merged with MELVIN!!!

Everyone: (Screams)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[When Dr. Fakenstein tries to escape.]

Dr. Fakenstein: Damn! I can't face the combined force of two authors! I must retreat! (Tries to run off, but trips over the rose that Tuxedo Gohan had thrown earlier, and falls landing flat on his face)

Starcatcher: Funny…I thought it was supposed to explode…

(Suddenly, there is a major explosion, blowing up the entire studio. Fortunately, or unfortunately in some cases, no one was killed.)

Tuxedo Gohan: Uh…I guess I put a little too much power into that…

Director: IT'S A CONSPIRACY! YOU'RE ALL PLOTTING AGAINST ME!!!

Vulpes: VULPIX!!! (Holds up a sign "But of course!")

Kat: SNEA…(Holds up a sign saying "Where the hell are the subscripts when you need them?")

Director: We're on a budget and can't afford them.

Starcatcher: (Narrows eyes) It could be because SOMEONE is pocketing all the money for himself!

Director: Yeah…that could be it…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[After Serena, Vegita, and Trunks win their fights.]

Serena: YAHOO!!! WE DID IT!

Vegita: (Smirking) Was there any doubt?

Trunks: (Staring at Raye and Wufei) Uh…what about those two?

(Everyone stares at the fight between Raye and Wufei. Only, if you look closely, you'll see that they're not really fighting, they're making out!)

Everyone: WHAT!?!

Raye: What? He is kinda cute!

Kat: Okay…that was messed up…

Director: CU-oh why do I even bother?

Vulpes: Because you're being held here against your will?

Starcatcher: This is just getting stupid now…

********************

(Back to the current time and place…)

Starcatcher: (Grins) Now was that worth the wait or what?

Others: (Depressed) Yeah…

Starcatcher: (Confused) What's with you guys? You've been acting weird all day!

Kat: Starcatcher…we know…

Starcatcher: Know what? The secret family recipe of the Bush's Boston Baked Beans?

Kat: NO! We know that…it's the end…

Starcatcher: (Confused) The end? The end of what?

Sparky: OF ANIME DEATHMATCH!!! You could have told us! We could take it! (Starts crying) I AM NOT CRYING!!! (Punches editor)

Editor: @_@

Kat: So why didn't you tell us? Afraid of how we'd react? WHY!?!

Starcatcher: (Raises eyebrow) I never told you because it's not happening.

Everyone: HUH!?!

Starcatcher: This isn't the last episode! I will be postponing on any future chapters for a while, but that's only until I finish some more chapters for my other stories, but I should be continuing soon.

Kat: But…what about the title? (Points at the title)

Starcatcher: (Looks carefully at the title) Hum…that's funny. I don't remember writing that…

Vulpes: What do you mean?

Starcatcher: The title should be "The Past Times" not "The Last Time." I have no idea how that happened.

Some Random Guy (Bob): (Completely wrapped up like a mummy) AHAHAHAHAA!!! IT WAS ME YOU FOOLS!!!

Andy: WAY TO GO BOB!!! (They high five)

Bob: (Laughing) YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOKS ON YOUR FACES!!! IT WAS HILARIOUS!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Starcatcher: Sorry we couldn't get as much of a laugh from it as you, but don't worry. What's going to happen next will more than make up for it.

Bob: Huh? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- (Completely flattened and will NEVER come back again)

(A giant four headed dragon appears.)

Starcatcher: Thank you Blue Eyes, White Hydra77415.

Blue Eyes, White Hydra77415: My pleasure. Such idiots deserve to be disposed of. (Sees Vulpes) Hi Vulpes!

Vulpes: WOW! WHAT A CUTIE!!!

Sparky: What about Eros?

Starcatcher: Zpan Sven hasn't reviewed in a while.

Vulpes: (Pouting) EROS WON'T RETURN MY PHONE CALLS!!! (Looks like she's about to cry)

Blue Eyes, White Hydra77415: Don't cry. (Mysteriously creates a never-ending box of chocolates and gives it to Vulpes) These are for you.

Vulpes: (Eyes get all big and shiny) THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!! (Glomps Blue Eyes, White Hydra77415, who blushes so slightly it's hard to tell he ever blushed at all…maybe he didn't…aw what do I know?)

Blue Eyes, White Hydra77415: You're welcome. By the way, maybe you would like to go to dinner sometime?

Melvin: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?! YOU CAN'T HAVE HER!!!

Blue Eyes, White Hydra77415: Put a sock in it!

Melvin: (Can't talk because of the sock that magically and mysteriously stuffed itself into his mouth) MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPHHHHHHH!!!

Blue Eyes, White Hydra77415: That's better! Oh…hey Starcatcher? Can I kill Andy?

Starcatcher: Do you have to ask?

Blue Eyes, White Hydra77415: ALL RIGHT!!! HYDRA LIGHTNING!!! FRY ANDY FRY!!!

Andy: (Eyes get all big as he watches the attack headed right for him, then starts running around in circles waving his arms like a maniac) WAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA-*KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!*

(There is a huge explosion, but surprisingly, nobody gets hurt. Well…except for Andy, but he doesn't count. When the dust clears, there is no trace of Andy at all except for his pea-sized brain, which falls to the ground. A few seconds later, it grows arms and legs and starts jumping around.)

Andy's Brain: AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! NOW I WILL RULE THE UNIVERSE!!!

Blue Eyes, White Hydra77415: (Steps on Andy's Brain) And that takes care of that…

Melvin: (Spits sock out) YOU CAN'T HAVE VULPES!!! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!!! (Kicks Blue Eyes, White Hydra77415 but ends up hopping up and down on one foot in pain) SHE'S MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!! (Grabs Vulpes) SO LONG!!! (Throws a smoke bomb and runs off, laughing maniacally)

Vulpes: EEW!!! LEGGO! LEGGO!!!

(Just then, a rose slices through Melvin's hands, causing him to drop Vulpes. Tuxedo Gohan appears and takes Vulpes back to the others.)

Tuxedo Gohan: (To Vulpes) You okay?

Vulpes: (Smiles) THANKYOU!!!

Melvin: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!!! (A lá Wicked Witch of the West) I'LL GET YOU MY LOVELY…AND YOUR LITTLE GERBIL TOO!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! (Grabs Harry Potter's broom, but crashes into the ground) Ow…

Kat: (Blink, blink) Uh…I think Melvin's finally lost it…

Melvin: (Slowing down) Vrr… (Stops, sparks shooting out of his body)

Sparky: Hey look! (Pushes a button, causing the back of Melvin's head to open) HE'S A ROBOT!!!

Tuxedo Gohan: But…then where's the real Melvin?

Blue Eyes, White Hydra77415: Who cares?

Starcatcher: *SIGH* I really need a vacation…oh well. I guess we'll just have to see what happens next time on ANIME DEATHMATCH(echo)! See ya then!

Director: (Currently in a wheel chair and body cast) If we survive that long…