Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ Desire And Grace ❯ Flame ( Chapter 2 )

Title: Desire and Grace

Chapter 02: Flame

By: wings

 

 

Seiji stood out on the balcony enjoying the quietness that seeped through the air. It was a peaceful feeling to hear the breeze comb through the nearby trees. Out here was always a quick and accessible place to retreat to. It had been nearly two weeks since his friend confessed to him and since then things almost seemed normal. Except for the fact that he hadn't seen much of the water warrior. Just as the blonde started to fall into his thoughts. He was ripped from them as his attention was stirred to a rustling noise coming from inside.

 

He went inside to check it out. Finding Shin going through the drawers in the hallway desk.

 

“Hey, Shin… what are you looking for?” Seiji asked as he approached him.

 

With out looking up or abandoning his search he replied. “A map… “

 

“… For what?”

 

“For a park that's on the outside of town. I can't seem to remember how to get there it's been so long. Perhaps, I should just take a taxi… “ He said slowing down his search.

 

“Why didn't you just ask me? I know the area… you know that. I could just take you instead.” Seiji suggested.

 

“Thank you… but this is a trip I want to go by myself.”

 

Seiji raised an eyebrow slightly. “Since when do you turn down company? You have a date?” He said lightly.

 

“Actually, I do… So, you see that's why I want to go alone. I don't know when I am going to be back and I am sure you don't want to stay.” Shin said standing strait up with a crooked smile he always gave when he was teasing.

 

“You do… “ Seiji thought a moment.

 

Shin nodded a bit.

 

“Why so far away? They aren't making you do all the traveling are they?” He asked concerned.

 

“No no… not at all Seiji. It was my idea to meet there. I was making sure not to be so close to the house with the restriction and all. Besides, the travel there is part of the fun.” He smiled as he shut the drawer.

 

“Wait what?… What restriction?”

 

Shin looked at him wide eyed a second before composing himself. “Well you know incase something happens… we shouldn't have innocent people around.” He said quite fast.

 

“And when did that go into effect? Either you are lying to me or everyone just decided not to tell me about it.” Seiji said slightly strong knowing full well it was a lie.

 

“… It was just something I set for myself… “ Shin said not able to look him in the eyes.

 

Seiji moved closer pushing the other to sit on the desk and lean against the wall. “Don't lie to me… it doesn't suite you.”

 

Shin stayed quiet looking at the floor.

 

“What's going on Shin?… “ He asked more coaxingly.

 

It took a moment for the other to respond. “… I shouldn't tell you. It doesn't really concern you anyway and besides it's more between Ryo and I.”

 

Seiji examined the other before putting a hand on his thigh. “Shin… if it concerns anyone in this house, it concerns me as well. What are you talking about?”

 

Shin thought a moment. “Ryo and I just had a talk that's all. It's - Everything's alright.”

 

Seiji ran his fingertips across fabric in a couple soft strokes and let them rest at his knee. “If that were true you wouldn't be going all the way across town to see some one for a date. What did he say to you, Shin?”

 

Shin tried to control his breathing and stay focused. “… That I shouldn't make waves. That's all. I understand what he was saying… He has to look after everyone here. So… I agreed.”

 

“Agreed to what?…”

 

“… Keeping my activities away from the house… “ He replied trying to be careful of how he worded things.

 

“Why are you so stubborn about talking to me strait… “ Seiji sighed. “Just tell me what happened.” He added.

 

Shin looked at him a bit pleadingly and honestly. “I just don't want you to get upset and go overboard.”

 

“Shin I can ask you or ask Ryo… “

 

“No, don't say anything to him about this. He's trying hard to take care of everyone and I don't want to hurt anyone. Just don't bring this back to him… please. I promise to tell you if you promise me that.”

 

Seiji made a slightly annoyed sound. “Alright, I promise… just tell me what happened.”

 

Shin took a breath for courage and readied himself to tell him. “He told me not to bring dates to the house… or date anyone in the house… that I could only cause chaos if I did. And that's one thing that we cant afford is have me causing problems while dealing with our Trooper issues as well.” Shin said cautiously and started to hesitate as he saw the other get tenser. “That's why I need to keep myself - I mean my activities outside of our circle.”

 

Seiji didn't say anything for a moment. “… That's why you haven't been around? You've been, out, doing what ever.”

 

Shin nodded slightly.

 

“But he doesn't have a problem with Touma and I… “ Seiji thought out loud.

 

“… No one had a problem with it, that's why. I mean… you saw how upset Shuu got and that was just over lingerie. I think Ryo is just worried it might just be an onslaught of something to come and is trying to avoid it. I can see where he's coming from… “

 

“Where? Asshole land? Shin its just something he doesn't want to deal with and no one has the right to tell you things like he did. Stop sticking up for him. And Shuu… Shuu is fine now that the initial shock is over. And Touma doesn't have a problem. Besides, you keep that to yourself anyway. Hidden away from anyone's sight. You can't tell me that Ryo made his decision on lingerie. Where is it I want to confront him on it.”

 

“Seiji no you promised me.” Shin said grabbing the blonde's shirt. “I told you that's why I didn't want to tell you.”

 

“But Shin this isn't right. No one should treat you like this. Just … let me have something to confront him on.”

 

“I couldn't even if I wanted to and I don't want to. Like I said he was looking after everyone, besides he had a good point. And I just don't want to make any mistakes, okay… Please, just drop it.”

 

“What do you mean?” Seiji asked concerned over the last sound in his voice.

 

“… We talked and decided, that out of all of us. That I could be the most confused over the bonds and that I could mistake it for something else. He had a point Seiji… I am way too emotional to be acting on anything I am feeling. The bond we share is too strong for me to try and figure out if it's just that or actually something else. Look what happened the night I showed you what I bought. I came onto you… I was an idiot. And I apologize for acting like such a fool. Ryo's helping me from making mistakes like that. I am committed to making sure things like that don't happen again. Just to show him how positive I am to keep things right around here… I burned them. And I keep anyone I see away from the house… So you see, everything's fine, really.”

 

The blonde tried to keep his temper under control and took a deep breath. “Out of all of us, Shin. You are the one who would be the most likely to know what's more and what's not. You know this, stop letting him twist things around. He's overly worried about everything. He's supposed to be your friend and at times your leader but never a master so stop acting like the slave. There's nothing wrong with you and I couldn't have been more flattered than to have you come onto me. You looked beautiful in that… you shouldn't have done that. I am going to buy you a new one.” Seiji said as he ran his fingertips through the others hair.

 

“But… “ He tried to protest.

 

“But nothing, Shin. Don't stop being who you are. Ryo was wrong, not you. It happens from time to time.” He said with a soft smile: getting the other to smile slightly as well. “So tell me, when you want to leave. I will bring you to the park.” He added.

 

Shin nodded a bit. “… Twenty minutes? And I'll be home to make dinner… “

 

“You don't have to hurry back Shin. I promise I wont say a word to him.”

 

“No, I just want to make dinner for everyone… I been neglecting that task lately.”

 

“Task… “

 

Shin smiled. “Its not a task its something I enjoy doing and haven't had a chance to lately. Better?” He said with a slight laugh.

 

Seiji nodded. “Yes, that's the Shin we know and love… “ He said as he stepped back to let him off the desk top.

 

 

***

 

It was later than usual but the house was starting to smell delicious. Shin had been in there for almost and hour and a half. Shuu had been keeping him company through most of it: Until he was asked to set the table and call the others to the dinning area. Everyone took their time finding their spots. And Shin set everything in the middle of the table for everyone to reach. Then found his chair.

 

“I was starving. You don't know how much I was looking forward to your cooking.” Touma said as he poked his soup with his utensil. “Mmmm… “ He added as he took a couple bites.

 

“Well I know I am going to be eating seconds.” Shuu said as he sipped from the bowl.

 

Shin giggled slightly. “It hasn't been that long since I last cooked.”

 

“No, but when you get used to something and then it being gone. You miss it.” Seiji said before taking a bite.

 

Ryo sat quietly as he enjoyed his bowl.

 

“I was running out of take-out choices.” Touma joked.

 

“Right well maybe you can stay home more often since you don't have to go out for dates now.” Seiji said as he took another bite.

 

Ryo looked over at Shin briefly but said nothing.

 

“Yes, well I am not sure if he's comfortable with coming here yet… “ Shin said giving the blonde that look.

 

“You're dating some one?” Shuu asked in slight shock.

 

“I… was, I am… for a while now. I was thinking of breaking it off, actually… “

 

“Well maybe its for the best, you wouldn't want some one to get attached anyway… “ Ryo said blatantly.

 

“Nonsense, Ryo. Not all relationships are doomed to failure.” Touma said happily.

 

“Why didn't you introduce him to us?” Shuu asked.

 

“Yes, Shin… we would of liked to meet him.” Seiji said looking at their leader.

 

Shin felt a whim of panic strike through him and pushed the table into the blonde with a short jerk as he stood up. “Oh, I am sorry… it was an accident.” Shin said giving Seiji his best `leave it alone' look.

 

“It's fine… “ Touma said acting as though nothing happened.

 

“Since you're up could you grab me an extra napkin?” Shuu asked.

 

Shin nodded as he went for the napkins and also grabbed one for himself.

 

Seiji watched him as he returned to his seat.

 

“Where were you all day Ryo?” Shuu asked as he put the napkin to use.

 

“Just out hiking… nothing special. Although, I think I found a perfect spot for our next camping trip.” Ryo explained.

 

“Where about?” Touma asked.

 

“Just on an old trail I found. It goes around the lake.”

 

“Sounds nice… “ Shin responded getting a nod from Ryo.

 

“You never talked about him. Who was it?” Shuu asked still running things in his head.

 

“No one important.” Ryo interrupted and silence hit the room.

 

“… No one we met before Shuu.” Shin said carefully.

 

“Right, I am sorry I interrupted.” Ryo apologized.

 

“Kind of touchy, aren't you Ryo?” Touma asked.

 

“Well he met him… already, he knows he was kind of a jerk.” Shin piped up.

 

“Right, nothing but trouble.” Ryo said as he took another bite.

 

Seiji slightly shook his head and accidentally let a smirk grace his lips a moment before getting up.

 

“Where you going Seiji you haven't really touched your food?” Shuu said as he watched him leave and walk around the table.

 

“Oh, I am not that hungry. You can have it Shuu.” Seiji said as he stopped next to Shin. “Besides there's something I need to do… “

 

“Oh?” Ryo asked curiously.

 

Seiji nodded and he let a hand slide into the back of Shin's auburn locks: getting a good handful before pulling his head back to face him. Getting a whimper from the slender warrior's pale throat. Seiji leaned over and ran the tip of his tongue over Shins parted lips. Feeling delicate fingers that belonged to the water warrior at his shirt he deepened the kiss. A soft moan echoed through the silent room and after a short moment. Seiji carefully released his hold on him: leaving Shin in a moment of daze and confusion.

 

“… Shin!” Ryo said hitting the table top with his fist. “I thought we had an agreement.” He said sternly.

 

Shin looked at a loss for words.

 

“You had no right telling him what you did.” Seiji said keeping a hand on Shin's shoulder.

 

“That - was none of your business Seiji. I told him no! I had good reasons for this. What about Touma??”

 

Seiji looked at the other end of the table where Touma sat. The archer just smiled. “I'm up for a kiss.” Touma said with a wink.

 

Shuu blinked. “I just honestly don't understand what's going on… “

 

Ryo stood up. “You don't understand Seiji. Allowing him to get involved with anyone here is only going to cause problems. I talked this over with him and he said he understood. He and I had an agreement, this doesn't concern you Seiji. Stay out of it.”

 

“That's where you're wrong, Ryo. Touma agrees with me on this. There's no reason he should be on ANY kind of restriction. He's a part of the group, a person in our circle of friends. Of course this concerns me. It concerns everyone here. Back off, Ryo.”

 

“Ryo you know we usually always do what you ask. But this in its self seems kind of cruel. If there's a reason for this you better tell us now or drop the subject. I mean… this is Shin you're talking about.” Touma said interrupting.

 

Ryo went quiet and looked at Shin for a long moment. He watched him sit there and look at the tabletop as the blonde kept a hand at his shoulder. Seiji tried to console him a bit by caressing his neck slightly: only making him shrug his hand off. “… Tell them Shin.” Ryo finally said: making Shin shake his head slightly in response.

 

Again Ryo said: “Tell them… “ In more demand. “Or do you want me to?”

 

Shin looked up at him. “Don't Ryo… please… “

 

“No, I can't agree to anything with you… can I. And since you pushed the issue… you can finish it. Tell them Shin. Let them know why I said no… and don't play innocent, it doesn't become you… does it.”

 

Shin stood up slowly taking a step away from Seiji as he did. “No matter what I do I would've always been there for everyone, Ryo.”

 

“I can't fully believe that now can I. But knowing what I do know. I can't allow you to let anyone in this house become attached to you like that. It would only end up hurting them in the end.”

 

“I had my reasons!” Shin said kicking the table leg.

 

“That doesn't make anything better and you know it! Tell them… NOW!”

 

Shin made a sound of despair as he leaned against the countertop. Shaking his head trying not to cry he said no.

 

“…The reason I don't want him with anyone here or bringing anyone here… “

 

“Ryo… “ Shin pleaded weakly.

 

“… He's been selling himself… “ Ryo forced himself to say.

 

The room was thick with silence.

 

“Now I hope everyone understands, I am sorry Shin… “ Ryo said as he left the room.

 

“… Well, you sure know how to keep secrets don't you… “ Shuu said breaking the room's quietness.

 

“We stood against Ryo for you… and you didn't tell us that… “ Touma said sitting back in his seat and the room went back into silence.

 

Breaking it once again Shuu couldn't help but speak. “… Do friends get discounts?” He asked jokingly.

 

“This isn't a joke Shuu!!” Seiji said yelling at him.

 

“I am sorry… but it's not like the end of the world Seiji. I am sure there's worse things he could of done.”

 

“That's not the point Shuu. Shin didn't tell us the entire truth and we made Ryo out to be the bad guy.” Touma added.

 

“Would either of you told either?” Shuu said flatly.

 

“We wouldn't have been in the position in the first place.” Seiji replied turning his attention to Shin. He was still standing there watching them.

 

“Don't you have anything to say for yourself?” Seiji asked.

 

Shin took a moment and shook his head wiping his tears away. “No… not really. Everyone seems to have made up their mind already so what could I say that would make any difference, nothing.”

 

“You could at least try.”

 

“Okay… I told you everything was fine. I said that we had an agreement. And I asked you not to say anything or get involved. He promised me not to say anything if I kept my activities out of our circle. I don't regret what I do but I wasn't proud of it either. I understood why he said what he said and I told you that. Why couldn't you have just stayed out of it?? I didn't lie to anyone.” He said starting to shake a bit.

 

“I told you why and it would of helped if you had told me in the first place you were slutting around.”

 

Shin didn't say anything.

 

“He's right, Shin. We wouldn't have said anything if you had just been honest with us.” Touma added.

 

“… You said you had a reason though… right Shin??” Shuu asked seeing how upset his friend was.

 

“… It doesn't matter Shuu and you know it.” Shin shook his head a bit in disbelief.

 

“At least say you're sorry.” Seiji said with a bit of disgust in his voice.

 

“I am… I am sorry Seiji; I am sorry all of you. I didn't mean for anything like this to happen. I just needed to get through this a bit longer… I am so sorry… “

 

“I can tell you right now… I can't over look this, Shin. Just… stay away from me for a while. Okay?” Seiji said taking a seat with a sigh.

 

Shin nodded and looked at the other two. Obviously, Touma would resume the same answer as the blonde and Shuu didn't seem to mind. Shuu was always more understanding then what others assumed. But it still hurt.

 

“I can clean up.” Touma said intending Shin would get the hint to leave.

 

Shin nodded and left heading up to his room. Where he started to pack.

 

Ryo could hear him through the walls and went to see what was going on. He stood at his doorway watching him.

 

“Where are you going, another job?”

 

Shin stopped a moment and gave him his attention. “No… it just seems like it would be better if I left until I am done with everything. Or until it seems right to come back… “

 

“You're just upset right now. Things will calm down, just stop what you're doing. There's no reason to leave.”

 

“If you can't trust me, then there's no reason for me to stay.”

 

“No one said they couldn't trust you.”

 

“… not in those exact words… and besides… I can't honestly say I trust myself anymore either.” Shin said as he held out his hand to him to give him something.

 

Ryo hesitantly put out his hand and Shin carefully gave him his treasure: folding it in his hand. “Just… keep it. At least for now… “ He said entrusting his orb to him.

 

“Shin… you know I would… but, what if something comes up? You should keep it with you… “

 

“You and I both know nothing is going to happen and if it does. Then it will work out.” Shin said and smiled a bit. “I trust in that much at least. You know I wouldn't leave if it was going to leave everyone defenseless or something. It just seems right… right now.”

 

Ryo nodded. “Where are you going then… home?”

 

“No… I don't want a repeat of what happen downstairs to happen in my home.” He tried to laugh. “… I'll find a cheap place… “ He added.

 

“Come on, Shin: Just stay that doesn't sound right. Take the basement if you have to and use the back door. Just don't leave. At least when you were here I could always know you were fine.”

 

Shin shook his head. “No… if it makes you feel better I wont stay gone too long okay? And I'll even call every three days… is that better?”

 

Ryo didn't like the idea, but he nodded anyway. “Fine, but you better call no matter who answers it.”

 

“I promise.”

 

“Why do you have to keep doing this?? Can't you just stop… ?”

 

“I told you it's just something I need to do for a little longer. Once I am done… I'll be back. You know I wouldn't do something like this unless… I had to.”

 

“I am sure there's something else you could be doing.”

 

“Maybe you're right… but even if I did the damage has been done and I would still need to leave for a while.”

 

“They will be fine. There's no reason big enough to keep doing what you're doing.”

 

“I'll call you on the twelfth.”

 

“Shin.”

 

“You're making this harder than it has to be.”

 

“Good… now come to your senses.”

 

“Ryo… I am doing my best to not break. Please… this is my responsibility and I am going to own it. The cost is high… but this matters so much to me. Just understand for once… I need to do this on my own. Let me go. Let them let me go. They need time and so do I… I am going to break if I see the hurt on their faces anymore. Everything's changed Ryo… let me sort things out. Be my friend and just step aside … for tonight.”

 

“How much time do you need?”

 

“I don't know… a month… yeah, about a month.”

 

“That's a long time, Shin… but alright. Take your month but keep your promise. If you don't come back at the end of the month or do your calls, I am going to send search parties out for you.”

 

Shin nodded. “I know you would.” He smiled a bit.

 

“Shin… I am sorry if I sounded cruel to you at the table… “

 

“It's fine… “ Shin said whole heartedly and then returned to packing a bag. Zipping it up he then grabbed his sweater and slid into it. “I'll see you soon.” He said adjusting it.

 

Ryo nodded. “I don't like it… but you better come back.”

 

“I will silly. And Ryo… “ Shin said as walked passed him and stopped a moment.

 

“Hmm… “

 

“Could you feed my fish?” He asked concerned.

 

“Of course.”

 

Shin smiled and headed downstairs.

 

Seiji sat on the couch with Touma curled up in his arms. Shuu sat on the floor next to them as they watched television. Shin gave them a look as he walked passed them. Stopping to put his shoes on he heard Seiji's voice.

 

“So where is the guilty going???” The blonde asked from around the corner.

 

Shin bit his lip a moment as a few tears stung his eyes. “… Into town… “

 

“Hey Shin could you bring some ice cream home?” Shuu asked from his seat.

 

Shin could feel a lump in his throat build. “… s-sure… but I wont be back for a while.” He added.

 

“That's fine… “ Seiji said for Shuu.

 

Shin took a breath and left.