Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ Desire And Grace ❯ Return ( Chapter 3 )

Title: Desire And Grace

Chapter 03: Return

By: wings

 

 

 

About three weeks went by. No one had really said anything about what had happened. And no one said anything about Shin's absence. They thought he was simply just heeding the words of his friends and keeping his distance. And it wasn't unusual that he was missing most of the time anyway.

 

What was getting their attention was Ryo's new behaviors. He acted like he was nervous most of the time. He paced, he was quiet, he hovered around the phone and he went into town a lot. Sometimes not coming back until late into the night. And when he did return he always made sure to ask if he had a phone call. Today he sat at the table keeping the phone company. It was fine except for the tapping he would consistently do for minutes on end.

 

Shuu passed by a few times offering something to drink only get declined. He gave up and went outside. Seiji stopped to ask him what was wrong and got no real answer. Making the blonde sigh and leave him to his thoughts. Touma was more persistent though. He sat across from him and when he didn't get an answer as well he simply stared at him.

 

“Will you please just stop that.” Ryo suggested annoyed.

 

“If you're not going to tell me what you're waiting for I might as well wait with you.” Touma said.

 

“I am waiting for a phone call okay… now go.”

 

“I know you're waiting for a phone call, I am not stupid. What phone call and why is it so important? You've been obsessed with the phone for the past couple of weeks. What's going on?”

 

“If I tell you… you can't get all upset over it and go tell your other half.”

 

“You say that like it's a bad thing, but I promise. I am just worried about you that's all. Have you even been sleeping? You look like shit.”

 

Ryo looked at him and gave the room a look around. Making the archer do the same.

 

“What's going on Ryo?” Touma asked again.

 

“He hasn't checked in… “

 

“… who?”

 

Ryo raised an eyebrow. “Who do you think? Or haven't you even noticed?”

 

Touma thought a moment. “…Jun?”

 

“What?… No, Touma… Shin. He was supposed to have called me about four times by now. He's late. I tried talking to his mom and sister they don't know anything. I went looking for him a few times… I just can't find him and with out the bond I just… I feel lost. I don't know where to look.” He said concerned. Looking to his friend he could tell he didn't have a clue. “You haven't noticed his bond wasn't there??” Ryo said flatly.

 

“… I noticed… I just thought, that with everything that happened he shut it down… what? Are you telling me he left? Or is missing?? Why wouldn't his bond be there… ???” He asked catching on.

 

“… He thought it was best he leave for a while… and he gave me this to hold on to.” Ryo said showing him the orb. “He said he was going to call every three days… “ He added.

 

“Guess that explains why Shuu is still waiting for the ice cream… “ Touma said to himself out loud.

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing… so why did you let him leave? You knew everything would pan out. Seiji's calmed down and Shuu could careless he's more worried he's going to get hurt doing what he's doing than anything. Why did you let him give that to you??”

 

“He seemed to need the time and he wanted to give everyone some time also. He was sincere about coming back so I agreed. Touma… I didn't like how he was talking. What if he … he was talking about breaking down. I shouldn't have let him leave like that.”

 

Touma tried to keep his train of thought. “Okay… let's think this through. He was supposed to call every three days and missed about four… so its been just about two weeks?”

 

Ryo nodded.

 

“No one at his mother's said anything? What about the last time he was there or called?”

 

“I guess he had been dropping off some extra money for their bills. He was there about a week and half ago… but they haven't heard nor saw him since then.

 

“He's helping out with the bills? I thought his sister was doing most of that right now… “

 

“Yeah well I guess their business isn't doing that great at the moment. They need to fix some things in the shop and are short handed in help considering his mother has had a bad spell lately.”

 

“Why didn't he just tell us we could've lend a hand.”

 

“I don't know… his sister said she was kind of hard on him about it. She said after that she felt bad for taking him away from us to find the money. Though she didn't know what he was doing to get it.”

 

Touma bit at his lip slightly. “Better not tell her… “

 

“I wont... but I am worried Touma… I really can't find him.” In an overly concerned voice he added. “What if he had a bad client??”

 

“Ryo, don't think like that. Besides, he can rival Seiji and Shuu… I think he's alright no one is going to do anything to him.” He encouraged.

 

“… What if he gave up or isn't going to come back??”

 

“Stop it Ryo. If he said he's coming back then he's going to come back. And he won't give up Ryo, not when his sister and mother are counting on him yet. We are still counting on him.”

 

Ryo nodded.

 

Touma sighed a bit. “Why don't you give that phone a rest and go take a nap. If it rings, I'll make sure to wake you right away. Okay… ?”

 

“… Alright… “ He said getting up with hesitations.

 

“Don't worry… I wont be far from it.” He assured as he watched Ryo leave up to his room. Then turned his attention to the doorframe. “You can come out… “ Touma said softly knowing full well Seiji had been listening. “I sent him to bed… “ He added anyway.

 

The blonde stepped out and found a seat by him. He didn't have to say any thing as the archer already knew what was running through his mind and set his hand on top of his.

 

“Should we tell Shuu?” Seiji finally spoke after a minute.

 

“I think Shuu already knows he's just better at pretending. Besides if we confirm his suspicions he will be worse than Ryo.” Touma rationalized.

 

Seiji nodded. “You know… He was always there for us. And when he needed us the most… “

 

“Shh… Shin's stronger than we give him credit.”

 

“He shouldn't be worrying Ryo like that.” Seiji protested in anger and frustration.

 

Touma nodded and pulled the blonde close holding him tightly. But they broke their embrace as the screen door slammed and Shuu came hopping in chiming brightly. “Guess what I got??” Shuu said standing in front of them holding something behind his back.

 

“I am not really in the mood to play games with you Shuu. Just tell us.” Touma said with a sigh.

 

“Remind me to take your name off the party list.” Shuu stated.

 

“Just tell us.” Seiji said getting him on track again.

 

“Look… “ Shuu said as he showed him his box if ice cream. “It took him long enough.” He added.

 

Touma looked at him with shock.

 

“What… no one said what flavor so he just got this… “ Shuu said as he looked at them still with shock on their faces. “What?”

 

“Where is he Shuu?” Touma asked carefully.

 

“… Outside… he said he'd be in shortly it's about to rain. He just wanted to roll the windows up in the Jeep first.” He explained.

 

Touma and Seiji got up to go look out the window. Finding him closing the Jeep door and grabbing his bag coming in.

 

“Should we wake Ryo?” Seiji asked quietly. Touma just shook his head. “Let him sleep… he's home.”

 

Shuu continued to fix a bowl for himself.

 

Shin entered taking off his shoes and headed up to his room with out stopping. Dropping his bag on the floor and finding his bed quickly. He hugged his pillow curled into his blankets. He groaned slightly as he noticed he didn't shut the door, but at this point didn't care. He rolled over enjoying the feel of his own bed. It seemed to sooth away everything that plagued him. Just as he started to feel himself finding that peaceful black void of sleep, he felt the bed move. Making him roll and peek through his eyelids to see who was there.

 

“You could of stopped to say hi… “ It was Seiji.

 

“I was tired… “ He said as he closed his eyes again.

 

“I see that… “ Seiji said as he looked him over. “You didn't have to leave… “

 

“Seiji… just hold off on the lectures and scolding for later. All right? I don't have the energy to keep up with your arguments right now.”

 

“What makes you think I was going to do either of those?”

 

“Because that's how you communicate with me… I am tired Seiji.” Shin said turning his back to him.

 

“You can't just up and leave and then come home and not say anything. Just… go to bed.”

 

Shin sat up in defeat. “What do you want me to say?”

 

“Why didn't you tell us you needed to help your family? We would have helped you.”

 

“He told you? He can't keep anything a secret.”

 

“He didn't tell me, I found out on my own.”

 

“After I had a talk with my sister I realized even if you tried helping me. It wouldn't be enough.”

 

“We could of asked Nasutei.”

 

“I needed to get the money myself. I wasn't being enough for them and I surely wasn't good enough here for anyone. I needed to do it on my own. So I did it, it was wrong, but I came through for them. Oddly it didn't seem to make a difference how I feel though. But I don't have to worry about them, they are taken care of.”

 

Seiji set a hand on the other's knee softly. “We missed you… “

 

“Thanks… look I am sorry if I deceived anyone. It really wasn't what I intended.”

 

“I think we're all past that, Shin. But we are concerned as to why you didn't do what you promised Ryo. You didn't call… “

 

Shin looked at the blankets a moment. “I just needed to be alone. I couldn't think strait with Ryo leading my thoughts.”

 

“You should of at least called to let him know you were fine… but, he'll be fine now you're home.”

 

Shin nodded a bit and laid back down. Seiji replaced his hand when the other settled back to his spot.

 

“… Shin, I didn't really want you to leave me alone… “ He confessed quietly.

 

Shin sighed and took his hand in his: squeezing it a moment and sat back up and giving him his hand back.

 

“Seiji, I should say this now… but this platonic friendship or - what ever it is we have. Is too… strenuous for me. It's like you have split personalities. One's logical, distant and stern. Then the other's affectionate, delicate and so enticing. Not to mention hot. But I never know which one I am going to get. It's exciting and demanding. But I can't keep wishing for something that's never going to happen. Touma will always be first to you. I think… it would just be best if we kept it the way it was… when we first met. It just hurts too much to keep doing this.”

 

Seiji sat there a moment not expecting to have heard what he did. “… You started this… “

 

“I know… and you were right. I was wrong to do it.”

 

“You think it's easy for me to be on your level? You drown me in emotions. Over half of everything you do doesn't make sense to me. I don't understand you most of the time, but I accept it as who you are. And you don't see me giving up what little we have. It's not easy only giving you a little affection at a time, but I get passed that so I can do any of it at all: because I want to and Touma lets me. And I don't care what happen, Shin. All that matters right now is you're back and we have a chance to set it right.”

 

“… It matters to me. Do what ever you want Seiji… just don't touch me. This is what's right.”

 

The blonde growled to himself. “Why do you have to make everything so difficult?”

 

Shin tried to stay firm in his decision. “Could you shut the door on your way out? … thanks.”

 

“You can really be an asshole… “

 

“Touma's language is rubbing off on you.” Shin smiled brightly. “It's actually kind of endearing.” He said with a slight laugh.

 

Seiji took his chance and pulled him close. Sliding a hand into his hair and capturing his lips with a passion. Hearing a relaxed moan he slowed slightly as he took a moment to taste him thoroughly. He felt the others hands slide around his waist and rest at his sides as he returned the kiss. Seiji let the other lay back as he followed him. He pulled him closer and slid a hand under Shin's black worn t-shirt. Enjoying the soft skin under his fingers as he feathered a trail up his side letting a moan escape his own throat.

 

But it was all over too quickly as he felt the kiss break and a weak voice say: “No.” And in an instant the blonde found himself on the floor looking up at him in shock.

 

“… I am sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I mean, push you on the floor. A-are you okay?”

 

Seiji looked at him as he put together what had just happened. “… I guess… “

 

Shin got off the bed to help him up. “I really don't know how that happened.”

 

Seiji composed himself as he watched him sit back down. “You could've warned me.”

 

“Well, I did say no and before that I did ask you to leave… a few times. It was an accident, Seiji.”

 

The blonde nodded in response. “I'll… just let you rest.” He added as he started for the door.

 

Shin watched him a moment. “Seiji… “

 

“Hmm?… “ He asked as he held the door in his hand.

 

“… I really meant what I said… let's just remain distant friends… “

 

Seiji stood there for a while with out saying anything. “… I don't want to… “

 

“Maybe, someday Seiji, but right now just be content with what you have. Okay?”

 

Seiji looked down at the carpet.

 

“Hey, Seiji… could you send Shuu in here for me?… Please.”

 

“Sure… I'll tell him.” He said and shut the door.

 

Shin hugged his pillow and laid there waiting for Shuu to come up.

 

***

 

This was their new routine during a few hours into the night. Shuu cleaned an area in the bathroom and prepared clean towels as his friend stripped and sat in a filled tub. He felt slightly honored to be made a part of his secret and that he had chosen him to help. Shuu took good care of his friend. Taking out a medical kit he put together a few nights ago for him. He set it up to change and clean some bandages. He didn't ask questions… he just helped.

 

Looking over his area he noticed he was missing some objects. “I am going to have to get a couple things from the cabinet downstairs. I'll just replace it later… I'll go into town in the morning.” Shuu explained.

 

“That's fine Shuu… “ Shin said as he let the water relax him and leaned against the wall for support.

 

“It's a good thing you always kept everything stocked.” Shuu joked a bit looking over at him.

 

“You never know when you might need them… “

 

“I know you don't want to… but, maybe, you should go into the doctors.” Shuu said concerned.

 

“I was there already. They just told me to take it easy and take care of the stitches.”

 

Shuu nodded slightly. “… then I better hurry up or you'll prune up… “ He joked as he stepped out quietly.

 

It didn't take him long to get downstairs and find what he was looking for. He thought he had been quiet enough but when he closed the cabinet door the light was switched on.

 

“You're still up??” It was Seiji draped in an open robe, hair tossed anywhere and sleep on his face yet.

 

“You know me… “ Shuu said hiding the object behind his back. “Hungry at all hours… “

 

Seiji gave him a weird look.

 

“Well I guess I should try to sleep ne… “ He said taking the opposite way around the table.

 

“I thought you were hungry… “ Seiji said taking a step to get in the way.

 

“No… changed my mind. You know its just not as fun raiding the fridge at night when some one sees you.”

 

“You look guilty.”

 

“Can't hide anything from you.”

 

“Why don't you just have something with me… keep me company?”

 

Shuu bit his lip. “… toast?”

 

Seiji nodded and took a seat.

 

Shuu hid it on the seat under the table and made his way to the counter.

 

Back upstairs Shin tried to relax as he shut his eyes. He tried to fight the bitterness that seeped through the stitches everyday, but sometimes it was just too much. It was taxing and he was glad that Shuu was there to try and lighten the evenings.

 

He heard the door quietly click open and he turned to tease him for taking so long. Though when he looked it wasn't him. Touma stood in the doorway with a shocked look on his face. Shin quickly grabbed the curtain and slapped it shut. “Touma!”

 

The archer took a second to respond. “I didn't realize you were in here. Shuu leaves the light on at all hours… well you know that… I am sorry.” Touma explained and apologized while realizing the kit on the sink open and ready for use. Then put the image he saw before the curtain was pulled shut. “Shin… “

 

“Just do what you need to.” Shin answered.

 

“You… you don't look to good buddy. Can I help you … some how?”

 

“If you could I would've asked. I am fine… “

 

“… I don't feel right not helping… “ He said forgetting any other reason he entered the bathroom.

 

“Should I go get Ryo… or Seiji??”

 

“No.” Shin said in a slight panic. “No… it's nothing to bother them with. Besides… Shuu is already helping, okay?” He added more calmly.

 

Touma thought a moment. “What happened?”

 

“Nothing… “

 

“You can't tell me that.” Touma said taking a seat on the rim of the rub.

 

“Then… respect me enough to accept my answer.”

 

“Who do you think you're talking to little fish… “ Touma said with heart.

 

Shin moved a bit uncomfortable, he was used to not sitting still long now. “Shuu is taking good care of me.”

 

“I am sure he is. I won't interrupt this Shin. I am just worried about you. You look like this, you push Seiji away and you keep Ryo in the dark. And you have Shuu running around for you in secret. Shin… we don't care as long as you're all right. You don't seem all right… “

 

Shin sat quietly.

 

“At least to set my mind at ease… let me look over your wounds. I wont let either of them have a clue what I saw… please?”

 

“… I've heard that line before… “ Shin groaned in defeat. “…Fine… “

 

Touma nodded and turned to pull the curtain aside. Revealing the water warrior's frail frame. His backside was thinner than usual and covered in bruises. With one long cut running along this muscle's outline. Touma noticed he slowly clung more to the wall as if to hide. The archer took a breath and collected his thoughts.

 

“Doesn't look that bad… “ He said as he let his fingertips inspect the out areas of the wound. “They did a good job stitching you up, who ever did it. Let me see the wash cloth… “ Touma said holding out a hand.

 

Shin gave it to him. “It's why I didn't call… I was busy with this. No, I didn't do it. I went to the emergency room for that.” He said with a strained laugh.

 

Touma took the cloth and drowned it under the water. Then held it at the top of the wound and let the water rinse its way down his back. “Good… you mind telling me how it happened?”

 

“You mean - tell me - “ Shin said with a soft grin.

 

“Well… yes.” He said as he repeated his actions slowly and carefully.

 

“It was an accident. I had gotten into a fight with someone and I fell against a stair well banister. Nothing I could do but let it happen… the guy felt bad enough to help me get seen for it.”

 

“A banister… “

 

“It was an old building that was partially demolished. The railing was ripped up… “

 

The archer continued not sure he should believe him. “And the bruises?”

 

“Stairwell… or so I was told anyway. I passed out before that… but still. All the same Touma, don't tell anyone. I think I have had all the embarrassment I can handle for a while.” He said wincing a bit.

 

“I don't know if I believe you or not. But I'll accept the story and promise you I wont say anything.” Touma said as he continued to wash his back. “Could you explain one more thing for me… “

 

“…what?”

 

“Seiji… “

 

Shin stayed quiet.

 

“After the chasing and finally getting him chasing you back. With my permission… why did you deny him everything but casual friendship??”

 

“… I thought it would have made sense… I am just not good enough for him, that's all. I am not innocent, pure, smart, emotionally stable… sometimes I think maybe not mentally stable either. He said it himself I drown him in emotion. I keep secrets… and I argue about as much as Shuu. It drives him batty. He's happy with you and that's the way it should be: just you and him. I am not… as strong as he is let alone one he can turn to. How can I let him touch me after I have been so used up… “

 

“I should slap you a good one. Maybe it would nock some sense into you. You honestly believe that… You are every thing he needs for a challenging and fulfilling relationship, friend or lover. He would be disconnected if it wasn't for your emotional messes. Your questions, thoughts and other things you say: make him think. I don't know why you think you're used up. It doesn't matter who touched you. The entire time you were gone he was broken. As soon as you came home he started to get his spirit back. And when you demoted him… I haven't even been able to touch him. To him Shin you are so special. And he needs that… that's why I allowed it. And if it was anyone else… I honestly don't think I could allow it.” Touma sighed frustrated.

 

“… So, he's picking up your language habits and you're getting his lectures?” Shin laughed a bit.

 

“I am interested to see what we pick up from you… “ Touma smiled as he set the cloth down. “Just give him another chance… I wont say anything, just try… trust us for once.”

 

Shin knew he was guilty: he hadn't trusted any of them for a while.

 

“And when you decide to return to us… we'll all be here yet. Waiting for you.” Touma added.

 

“I am here… “

 

“No, you're not and you know it. You still haven't gotten that thing from Ryo back yet. Or I would have felt you … you may not think we notice you Shin.” The archer said as he leaned over and left a small kiss on his shoulder with a whisper. “… but we do… “ He said as he stood up shutting the curtain for him. “Get some rest… Or I'll drug your take- out food.”

 

“You wouldn't… “ Shin said with a half smile.

 

“Wouldn't I… goodnight.” Touma said as he left the bathroom

 

Meeting Seiji outside the door. “Did you bring something back for me??” He asked as he slid an arm around the other directing him to the bedroom.

 

“No… Shuu only made two slices.” He answered.

 

“Shuu was up??”

 

The blonde nodded.

 

“Wow he's up late.” He said as he kissed his cheek.

 

Shuu waited for their door to shut before going into the bathroom.

 

 

 

 

To Be Continued…