Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ Happiness and Lonelyness ❯ la fuga ( Chapter 2 )

Hello everyone, here you go with Chapter 2. Please don't flame me for any mistakes you may find since my English isn't very good, after all, that's not my native language. The Troopers don't belong to me so please don't sue me. Your reviews, comments and emails are more than welcomed. Thank you.

SOLITUDINE E FELICITA'

(by: acuamaine)

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/// "That's just it Seiji...." Touma sighed and then took a deep breath. Here goes nothing... "I think I've fallen in l... love w... with a b... boy, n... not a g... girl." Quickly he shut his eyes and waited...

"W... What?" Shocked by Touma's confession Seiji quickly removed his hands from the archer's shoulders and started stepping away from him. "A... Are you s... saying that you're g... gay?" Just trying to say the words was hard on the swordsman.

"I... I think so, I mean the fact that I like a boy would put me in that category but I'm not sure." Touma could feel the tears stinging his eyes. "If y... you hate me n... now you could always move in w... with Ryo, there's a spare b... bed in his r... room. Seiji I'm sorry, this is why I didn't want to say anything... You forced me to... I'm so sorry." Touma began to cry harder, trembling in the night and feeling so alone at the moment.

Seiji never saw Touma's pain for he had bolted for the house, shocked and hurt. Soon the others knew about the archer and Touma was left alone, with his wind and his stars. ///

From that day on Touma spent his days in self isolation because his friends had changed their feelings for him. They just couldn't accept who Touma was... Only Shin seemed compassionate enough to accept him. Touma knew that if he told them why he was this way maybe they would understand, but he decided against it... He didn't want their pity. Shu was afraid that he might do or say something to upset his friend and so he just avoided him. Nasutei and Seiji for whatever reasons they had, also avoided him... Refusing to so much as even speak to him. Ryo on the other hand was angry and so every time he saw the archer he would shout at him while other times he simple chose to ignore him.

Touma's heart felt as though it was dying nobody cared about him anymore, they all seem disgusted by him now. Lying down on his bed he cried softly into the darkened room hating himself for who he was and for the way it had caused his one time friends to turn away from him. Sleep finally took him, though it was filled with nightmares and pain... so much pain and when he awakened he realized that he had slept very little. In the dead of night, he made his decision...

He knew what he must do, there were no other options. He had to leave, he had to get away and allow his friends to go on without having to deal with him. It's for the best. He told himself though it pained him to do so. Grabbing an old suitcase he packed up what little he had and before leaving he laid a note and his armor orb on the bed.

Tears filled his eyes, cascading down over his cheeks as he made his way down the stairs. Goodbye... My friends. He said softly before stepping outside and softly closing the door. When Shin and the others awaken, no one bothered to check in on Touma who left almost 6-hours prior.

Touma sat on the train, which would take him back to the city of his childhood... It's also where his nightmares began. He was going home to the house that his alcoholic father lived and where his life, for all intents and purposes, would end.

/// Twenty years ago his mother gave birth to him and a twin sister... She was supposedly kidnapped and never found. His parents fought constantly, their lost child long forgotten and the one they did have... endured the pain of the nightly fights. He was five almost six when his mother left and his father began drinking quite heavily. Those drinking binges spawned the beatings he took just so his father could vent his anger.

It was during that time that he met Shu who had come to his rescue after a group of kids tried to beat the living daylights out of him all because they saw him as the teacher's pet. He and Shu became the best of friends with Shu and his mother even teaching him some basic martial art moves. Not long there after Shu discovered his secret after his father had given him a rather nasty beating.

Once Shu's family knew, he was quickly taken to the safety of a hospital and then brought to their home. That first night he slept better then he ever had for he was finally in a home where he was cared about. How good that had felt... To be loved... ///

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~ At the mansion... ~

"Shu would you please go and wake Touma up? It's almost dinnertime! He can't waste away in bed... I won't allow it!" Shin called out to him keeping his voice cheerful, which only got Ryo pissed.

"Why do we even have to wake him up? Wouldn't it be best just to let the fag starve in his room?" Ryo spat at Shin, glaring at him with large blue eyes.

"RYO! He's out friend! How can you even say such a thing?" Shin looked at him shocked. He knew Ryo didn't approve of Touma's lifestyle but he really didn't think he would wish him dead!

"You mean he's YOUR friend! I do not want a fag for a friend... That's sick! People like that make me sick and just knowing we have to live under the same roof with him makes my skin crawl!" Ryo was just getting warmed as he stared Shin down.

"Think of it? How often many times has he seen us naked? Would that turn him on? Jeez for we know he may have been fantasizing about anyone of us! Man to think he may have even been staring at our butts imagining himself doing us..."

"RYO! How can you even think...!" Shin was quickly cut off by Ryo.

"Save it Shin, you know damn well that I am right! Touma is no longer our friend!" Ryo hissed at him.

"STOP IT RYO!" Seiji was literally in Ryo's face now. He had sat back and listened long enough and finally had had enough of Ryo's rants. "How can you say such a thing of Touma? You obviously don't know him well enough. How many times did he save that BUTT of yours? Huh?" Seiji glared at Ryo who backed away slightly.

"After the whole Shikaisen incident when the nightmares hit and I needed a shoulder to cry on, where were you? You weren't there comforting me... Touma was! Whenever I needed support of any kind Touma was the first to offer it. He's been there for me, for you, for Shin and for Shu!" Seiji quickly raised his hand to cut Ryo off when he saw him about to open his mouth.

"Touma has been there for all of us time and time again... Not once did he ever ask a favor of us! He gave of himself unselfishly and how do we repay him? By turning our backs on him the one time he needs us, that's how!" "Seiji reached out and placed a hand on Ryo's shoulder, smiling sincerely.

"I know that you're mainly angry because Touma lied to us, but in your heart you do care deeply for him... we all do." Seiji squeezed Ryo's shoulder and winked over at Shin.

"What about you Seiji? Do you care about Touma as well?" Shin asked as hope stood in his eyes. Seiji let Ryo go and turned to Shin, trying to find the right words.

"I... I don't think I care for him like you guys... I... I think... I don't know know what to think! Gomen." Seiji lowered his eyes to the floor before finally looking back up and right at Shin. "There are a few things I need to say to him... I don't want to see that hurt in his eyes anymore. I especially don't want him to waste away because of me. I worry that he may do something stupid, and that I will not allow... I have to make things right." Seiji said thoughtfully as he looked back to the floor.

"Seiji? You may all ready be too late..." All heads turned to look at Shu who stood at the doorway with tears in his eyes. He clutched a piece of paper tightly in his fist as he looked into each of their eyes.

"Why do you say that? W... What's going on?" Seiji looked at him with much concern.

"He's gone... He left early this morning according to his note. He felt he was doing us a favor by leaving." Shu's voice cracked as he spoke to the others.

"WHAT?" They all seemed to say at once.

Seiji quickly sat down in one of the chairs, his face had drained of its color. "No... it can't be true..." He spoke softly as he sat there in shock.

"When did he leave? Where did he go? Are you sure?" Shin walked over to Shu to see the note that the larger man held out to him.

"Shin would you please read it for us?" Ryo pleaded as he went Seiji's side concerned at how pale the swordsman had gotten.

Dear guys,

I've decided that it's best that I leave so you can go on with your lives without worrying about me and my secrets. I am sorry to have burdened you with my problems.

I want you all to know that for me you guys were the best friends I ever had, you gave me some of the best years of my life. At least for a while I was happy and felt loved but I ruined that, and changed how you felt for me. We all know thing would never be the same as they were before and so leaving seemed the right thing to do.

I don't blame you for hating me, I do understand. I can only hope that should our paths cross again, you will have found it in your hearts to have forgiven me. I know that Ryo, Seiji and Nasutei can now stop feeling so awkward when I am around.

I was truly blessed to have met friends like all of you, thanks for all the special moments we shared together and the very best of luck to all of you.

I have to go now so Shin please don't worry about me, I'll be fine and Shu don't you worry either. Who knows, maybe my father has finally changed, I hope so anyway.

I don't want to finish this, there's still so much I want to say but I have to, no sense in dragging things out any further. I left my orb so that should you need its power it will be at your disposal since I am certain that you'll want to find someone better to bear the armor of Tenku. I know the orb chose us, but I'll refuse it in hopes it will seek a new owner.

Farewell my friends,

Hashiba Touma

Shin's hands trembled as the tears stung his eyes, sliding freely down his cheeks. He passsed the note around and saw that now he and Shu were not the only ones in tears, Seiji and Ryo's eyes were glassy with sorrow as well. Ryo was just grateful that Nasutei wasn't home for surely her heart would have broken into millions of pieces.

"We have to get him back!" Shu finally broke the silence that loomed within the room. His voice was sad yet stern as he stared at the others. "We have to get him back and we have to hurry! If his father is home Touma could be in danger!!"

"W.. Why? Why is he possibly in danger? Do you know something about Touma that we don't?" Shin asked feeling a little frightened now and thankful for Shu's support since he doubted he could stand on his own. Seiji and Ryo also looked to Shu for answers, the concern clearly etched upon their faces now.

"I promised I would never tell, but I think this is one time, you guys deserve to know the truth." She said as he walked over and sat at the table. "His father... His father use to beat the shit out of Touma when he was small. My family took him in when he was about 6-years old so it's been a long time since they have seen each other." Shu stared straight ahead as he spoke, the memories still haunted him.

"His father may have changed or he my still be bitter and I fear what he may do to Touma... I know Touma would never strike back at his father and now with the way he is, he'll most likely allow his father to do whatever he wants with him... Guys, Touma's father o...once r...raped him!"

"No! It can't be! Y... You're joking right?" Ryo sat there stunned knowing full well that Shu would never joke about such a thing.

"I'm sorry but it's true and now I fear that this time he may kill Touma...!" Shu's eyes once again filled with tears.

"Then we have to find him and soon! What are we waiting for? I don't want to lose my friend, not now... Not ever!" Seiji said as they got up and raced for their coats, leaving a note for Nasutei so she wouldn't worry though they knew she would anyway.

"Wait! Does anyone have any idea as to where Touma lives?" Shin asked weakly as they climbed into Shu's car.

"Shu you said you knew him as a kid, do you now were he lives?" Seiji asked, the anger rising in his voice.

"Yes I knew him then but Touma never told me where he lived he was too scared that my family would go after his father... Despite everything that was done to him, he still tried to protect the bastard!" Shu pounded the steering wheel in frustration. "Wait! I think I know of someone who may know though, it'll mean delays in finding Touma but there's little else I can do."

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Touma laid down on his bed, he was back in is old bedroom and the old days were back to haunt him once more. When he showed up at the house his father decided to show him how much he was missed... He did it was a bottle of wine and a baseball bat. Touma laid there with a nasty gash on his forehead, several bruises, a few broken ribs and a wrist that was surely broken. Wincing in pain he tried to stand and could barely support his own weight on shaky legs.

Old habits never die, for here we go again just like when I was a child... My father wll never change and now I can only suffer in silence. So Seiji? What would you think of me now? I guess you'd think that I got what I deserve... I hope that you ae somehow happier without me there. Damn if I had only lied to you! I tried but you and your damn insight, if only you couldn't have seen what was lying in my eyes... Maybe then I could have deceived you. Maybe then I wouldn't be living this hell once more...

"They say that only a madman speaks to a wall!" Touma said to himself as he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

"Hey there! Don't you remember me?" His reflection seemed to say back to him.

"No! This c... can't be! This is a joke, the bump on my head must be causing me to hallucinate and now I'm imaging that my reflection is speaking to me." Touma shook his head. "You don't exist... It's just in my head."

"Okay so I'm just a figment of you imagination... Would you like to talk to me anyway? Even if I am a joke, a hallucination... You can still talk to me." The reflection spoke softly. "When you were a child you would speak to me all the time."

"But... But I'm not a child anymore! Why am I seeing and hearing this? My head isn't that badly hurt is it?" Touma said feeling confused by it all.

"Because I'm not just a part of your imagination silly one! I'm real and I'm here only for you... I'm here because you're sad, because you're hurt and because you need someone who can bring back your mental sanity! Now why are you back with your father? Just what on Earth do you think you're doing back here?" His reflection seemed to be scolding him now.

"Okay let's see if I have this straight... You're real and I use to speak to you when I was a child and now you're back to keep me sane? God I've gone crazy! Where are the doctors? Jeez I'm ready for the psycho ward!"

His reflection laughed and shook his head at him. "No my dear, you are not crazy... well maybe just a little but that's okay after all you are a genius." It jokes with him and then winks at Touma who looks at the mirror in confusion thinking he may have seen Rajura. "Now my dear Touma would you talk to me? Don't make me force you to."

Touma smiled and nodded his head but he didn't have time to say anything further because a strange fog flowed out of the mirror and began to fill the small room. "Oh my God! Someone help me!" Touma said as he fought the fog surrounding him. Damn what a time to leave my armor orb behind! Then again I want to die right? So why fight it? Wait! Maybe I really don't want to die... No matter what I will always be Tenku no Touma and there's no way I am going to fear a little smoke!

Touma shut his eyes when the fog enveloped him and began dragging him towards the balcony not wishing to see what was going to happen. When nothing else happened he slowly opened his eyes and gasped to see that he was safely encased within Tenku's bubble... How? I... I don't understand? Looking down he saw his orb within his right hand pulsating like a star, blue light shown from his fist and he felt his kanji pulsing on his forehead.

Tenku left him safely down right at the steps to his home, where Touma sat down quickly. Thank you my friend for being there when I need you... I guess no matter what you will always be here... You're a part of me just as I am a part of you.

Touma was so immersed in his thoughts that he never heard the screeching of car tires as it came to a halt in the street nor did he see the four figures that jumped out and quickly ran to his side. He was unaware of everything until Shu lifted him up and into his arms.

"TOUMA! Why did you leave?" Shin asked as he stood there with Seiji and Ryo behind him.

"Shu! Shin! SEIJI! Ryo!" Touma said when he finally realized who had him. "What do you want? Is there something I can do for you?" Touma asked confused by their presence there.

"Baka! Why are you here?" Shu spat at him angrily. "We were all worried sick about you! My God what happened to your face? Your father do that to you didn't he?" Shu eased back on his grip on Touma, feeling angry but concerned over the rather large gash on Touma's forehead. Touma brought his hand up to the wound and hissed in pain at the mere touch. Funny it didn't hurt that much before?

"Let me have a look at it." Seiji spoke softly as he inspected the injury. Touma moved away and quickly turned his back on his friends as he silently began to sob. "Please... leave me alone. I... I don't want to suffer anymore." Touma wiped at his tears and sighed heavily before turning to face his friends once again. "Like Ryo said, we're not friends now... so why even worry about me?" Touma looked to the ground, unable to meet their gaze.

"We worry because we care about you... Baka! Don't be so stubborn and come back home with us!" Ryo said as he stepped in front of Touma.

"Why? So you can all ignore me? No thanks! I have enough suffering in my life to deal with without enduring your hatred of me." Touma lashed out, he didn't care if Ryo belted him but he was damned if he was going to stand there and be humiliated any more!

"Shu up Touma and let me speak! I was a the fool, not you! I allowed my anger to cloud my judgment and get the better of me. I am so sorry for making you suffer the way I did... so very sorry." Ryo hung his head feeling ashamed at the way he had treated someone he always considered a good friend. "Please Touma, let us help you and let me make things better."

"R... Ryo, I... I don't k... know. I'll always be a fag, as you so dutifully put it... I can't change who I am... and... and..." Touma sobbed softly and Shin made a move to go to him only to be pushed aside by Seiji.

"Shhhhh little one, please don't cry." Seiji said softly as he hugged Touma. "I'm sorry too for being such a jerk. It's just that after your confession I didn't know how to behave around you... Please know that I... we care for you deeply, so stop your crying and let's see that smile of yours once again?" Seiji shivered slightly.

It's true Touma, I do care deeply for you but what can I do? Surely you would never be interested in me and I don't know how to tell you that I care for you. Please little star allow me to see that smile once more, I... I love you. Why can't I say it? Why can't I tell you that? Maybe it's because I fear that you could never love me back, maybe it's Ryo who has your heart... surely not me...

"S... Seiji? Do you mean that? That you... all of you really do care?" Touma looked into violet eyes that were moist with tears. "But you all..."

"Touma don't say another word, you're coming back with us!" Shin insisted as he took Seiji's place and gave the archer a hug before stepping away to allow Shu his turn. A calm began to fall over Touma but when Shu grabbed him in a bear hug he let out a weak cry of pain.

"What's wrong Tou? What is it?" Seiji stepped closer again to look at the archer with concern.

"N... Nothing, really it's nothing." Touma said, unable to meet Seiji's gaze.

Seiji narrowed his eyes knowing full well that Touma was lying to him and this upset him more then anything. "You're lying to me again... Why don't you trust me?"

Touma saw the look in Seiji's eyes and the fear set in as tears reformed in his eyes. "Really Seiji, it's nothing, listen I promise to tell you later okay? Please don't be upset with me..." Touma said as he swayed slightly.

Quickly Seiji picked up his friend and held him, he could feel the heat rising from Touma's body and realized that something wasn't right. Sighing softly he looked a him. "Touma, it's best that we get you back home so you can be healed and that should make you feel better. Okay little one?" Seiji smiled a little.

"Little one? Where did that come from? Is it my imagination or is the great Seiji Date showing some emotions? What am I going to do with you? You're just full of surprises." Touma smiled at him weakly. "I... I need to get my things but my father is home..." Just the mention of his father had Touma trembling in Seiji's arms.

Seiji was shocked at the fear Touma had for his father and without a moment's hesitation quickly rushed him to the car. "Shin you stay with him we'll go in and get his things. You mister! Stay put! Don't you dare try and move from this car GOT THAT!" Seiji's voice was stern but laced with concern for Touma.

"Seiji! Wait! You can't go in there... It's too dangerous. I... I don't want anything to happen to you... to any of you." Touma said, grabbing Seiji's arm. "I... I don't want anything to happen to you." He said softer and Seiji quickly smiled then winked at him.

Shin waited until the guys were in the house before turning to look at Touma, whispering softly as he spoke. "You love him don't you?"

Touma jumped slightly at Shin's remark. "W... What? No! I mean... I care for him... For all of you..." Touma stuttered and felt his cheeks burn.

"Touma, you don't have to lie to me... You can trust me. It's okay to say it." Shin smiled at him.

"Yeah I know... Okay, well... yes... I think... I think... Oh crap! I love him! I know he'd never accept that and so I'll be happy just having his friendship." Touma said sadly and lowered his gaze.

"Bullshit Touma! You aren't fine with just his friendship and you know it! Why don't you just tell him? Who knows maybe..."

"...Come on Shin! You know as well as I do that Seiji has a mission in life, it's the one his parents trained him for! He's to be the dutiful son and one day take a wife... Notice I said wife, not male lover, to take a wife and bear an heir. There's no way he could ever return my feelings." Touma pointed out. "I've accepted that so just drop it okay? Just forget it Shin..." Touma looked up at him, pleading with his eyes.

"What should Shin forget?" The two jumped at Shu's voice and saw that they others had returned with all of Touma's things.

"D... Did you see m... my f... father?" Touma asked feeling a shiver run down his spine as thy put the boxes into the trunk and then climbed into the car.

"Nope he was lucky! I wish we would have though, I would have gladly given him a new look without the help of plastic surgery!" Ryo remarked angrily as he got into the passenger seat beside Shu, with Seiji and Shin on either side of Touma in the back.

Touma was struggling to stay awake, between his injuries and everything else that had happened, he felt totally wiped out. He almost feared falling asleep though, thinking that he would awaken only to find it had been nothing more then a cruel dream and that he was still back in his father's house and the hell of a life he had been forced to live.

"Touma you look sleepy, why don't you take a nap, you're safe now." Shin said tenderly, whispering so that only Touma could hear it.

"I'm fine! I... I'm not tired! I... I can handle the ride home... Stop worrying so much." Touma said a little more angrily then wanted but he feared that Shin would reveal his secret to Seiji if he fell asleep.

"Shin is right Touma, you're exhausted. We have a long trip back so relax and take a nap for now. We'll wake you when we stop for something to eat." Seiji snaked his arm around Touma's shoulders and pushed his head down gently onto his shoulder.

"S... Seiji..." Touma started to protest but Seiji hushed him up.

"Shhhh, sleep now! let us take care of you, you're in no condition to do it yourself." Seiji spoke softly against his head. "Right guys?" He asked.

"I agree Blondie." Shu quickly said, smiling as Shin nodded in agreement.

"I'm with you on this one Seiji!" Ryo said and chuckled. "I also think that Touma shouldn't be allowed to go anywhere without our permission for a while. He needs a little punishment after all he wasn't honest with us and he ran away... Plus he caused us a great deal of worry not to mention how he put himself in danger." Ryo winked over at Shu who stifled a laugh. "I think Touma should be confined to his room for a few days... What do you say guys?"

"Hey! You can't punish me like that! I'm not a child!" Touma sat up only to be pulled right back into his former position. "You're not serious are you?"

"Oh but we can... and we will! You've been such a brat, and so we are treating you like a child now." Seiji chuckled and softly stroked Touma's cheek. "You just sleep now and when we get home you are confined to bed!"

"But... But..." Touma sighed knowing this was a battle he was not about to win.

"No buts mister! Seiji is right so go to sleep before I use Suiko's powers to make you fall asleep in no time!" Shin scolded then winked at Ryo who was turned in his seat and looking back at them. Ryo glanced at Seiji with a hint of amusement in his eyes and surprise. Shin just grinned from ear to ear as he sat there looking from Touma to Seiji and back again.

Shu who was trying to concentrate on the road ahead of him also observed the two, concerned for Touma and showing just a little anger at Seiji. "Seiji Date! I hope that you don't wind up hurting my friend cause if you so much as make him shed one single tear... Well let's just say that you may have trouble walking on those legs of yours!" Shu grinned when the others gasped. Gotcha! I'm not as dumb as you think I may be... I know perfectly well what's going on or rather what MAY go on...

Touma slept for most of the ride home but every time he made contact with Seiji or even Shin he would hiss in pain and that cause the worry to rise in the others.

Once home and safely in bed, Seiji sensed right away that something was still wrong with Touma, Shu's words echoed in his head... 'His father once raped him.' With a heavy sigh he strode into the room to check on his slumbering friend and found the archer trembling in his sleep.

"If I could only tell you what you mean to me... my little angel. That will have to wait for another time though, first things first... You need rest and while you do so, I will heal you with Korin." Seiji said softly as he sat down gently beside the archer.

End of Chapter Two

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Okay want more? Then leave a review and tell me so...

Oh and to clear up a matter... The reference to the armor of Rekka was done to show how red Touma's cheeks had gotten not that he was the wearer of the armor... Got that?

Please leave a review... Thank you!