Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ Koi wa Kurushimi ❯ For I have known them all already, known them all: ( Chapter 4 )

Koi wa Kurushimi
By Djinn Hashiba-Maxwell

And indeed there will be a time
To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?" --
Time to turn back and descend the stair

- The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
- T.S. Eliot

This chapter is dedicated to CYE'S GIRL, who knows all sorts of secrets about this fic she probably shouldn't, and is the best buddy an shoujo otaku can have ... although if she calls me "Djinnee-chan" anymore, I can't be held accountable for my actions.

* * *

Ryo tightened his grip on the ivory hilts of his swords. The compound was well guarded, but nothing Touma couldn't have evaded. He might have a bit of trouble, though ... but he should be okay if he avoided Mikitsuna's window. And that wouldn't be difficult, since he only wanted to see the body.

Touma's body?

He was desperately afraid it was true; yet he refused to believe it. Touma was not capable of failure. Touma couldn't be killed. Touma was invincible.

He vaulted the wall, landing silently in a crouch, in the shadows. He paused a moment there, waiting to hear if he'd been seen. The silence proved he hadn't. He darted around the outside boundaries of the compound on light feet, surveying as he moved. Now, where would a body be put? Somewhere cool ... possibly a cellar. If he recalled from Touma's talk of the layout, there was a cellar beneath the kitchens. That was on the opposite side of the courtyard; he could cross here, but the archer sentries would likely see him. Better to sneak around the outside edge, which is what he did. The entire compound was sealed tight, he noted, but the guards watched the outside, not the inside. It was almost laughably easy to slid into the vegetable cellar.

And there, in the corner, beneath a white sheet, was a shape that could not be mistaken. A body.

Ryo trembled involuntarily as he approached. It was too dark to verify the identity just from the proportions, to be sure he would have to look beneath the sheet. It could still be Touma. The thought terrified him. Slowly, he took hold of one corner of the sheet.

"Hold it!"

Ryo froze. His hand spasmodically clenched the sheet as lantern light filled the dim cellar. "We figured you'd return for the body! All you Akuko are the same scum!" The large guard captain called. "Take him!"

Ryo didn't move until he was pulled away, the sheet dragged off with him, still clenched in one white-knuckled fist. He didn't even think to look until he was halfway up the steps.

He nearly wept when he saw the long red hair, the sharp angles of the face.

Touma lived!

* * *

"Oh, Rowan-san! You certainly know how to hold your saké!" The young waitress giggled. Touma smiled lazily.

"Yeah ... too bad liquor makes me horny. Think you can help with that?" He responded, goosing her hard enough to make her jump.

"Itai! Oh, Ro-san ..."

"... they say he was after the body of the Akuko assassin."

"Really? I heard he claimed to be a Sanada ninja. They did say he had blue eyes."

"He carried ivory-handled swords, he must have been."

"Ro-san?" the waitress asked Touma worriedly. He had abruptly turned quite pale. "Ro-san, are you quite all right?"

He pushed the pretty green-eyes waitress off his lap. "Sumimasen, jou-chan. I have to go." He murmured, dropping some coins on the table to pay for his drinks.

"Ro-san? Oi, chotto!" She pouted prettily at Touma's back, but the blue-haired boy didn't even turn.

* * *

Touma paced the ruins. Ryo was gone. He had pack up as if intending to leave, but all his things were still here, packed, ready, and untouched.

"Shit. Shit shit shit shit SHIT!" Touma kicked one of the packs, knocking it onto it's side. "Fuck, Ryo. What the hell did you think you were doing?"

He sighed heavily, dragging a hand through his dirty, matted hair. "Well ... looks like I'll be heading back to Aito-kyo's humble home."

* * *

"Shuu-sama! We've reached the convent!"

"Good." The genralissimo whipped the back of his hand across his forehead, wiping away the sweat. "We'll stop here tonight. Set up a tent for the westerner; I'm going to go speak with the mother superior." He dismounted and straightened his uniform. The captain saluted smartly, and ran to do his bidding.

He gave three echoing knocks against the large wooden doors. The convent was fairly obscured, located at the farthest edge of the Gifu prefecture. Catholicism was looked down upon in Japan, and almost all Japanese nuns were forced to cloister themselves here.

"May I help you?" The nun that opened the door was old and sour looking. Shuu bowed politely.

"Ohayoo, basan. I am looking for Se-i-su-ta Me-a-ri Fu-ra-n-se-su?"

"Sister Mary Francis?" The nun repeated. "She is in seclusion."

"Excuse me, Sister, but I know that she would like to see me." Shuu responded. "Could you please tell the good Sister that Shuu Rei Fuan is here for the night, and would like to see her."

The woman looked him over carefully. "... come. I'll see if she'll see you. But if she won't, you must leave." The old, sour nun showed him into a modest sitting room with tall, western-style tables and chairs. Shuu sat awkwardly in one of the hard, unfamiliar chairs and waited.

And waited.

And ... waited.

When he'd become sure that no one was going to return, a familiar form glided in, cloaked in a black habit, a rosary clutched in thin, pale hands. "Shuu-san. How nice of you to stop by." She smiled softly. "To what do I owe this delight?"

"I was on my way to Takayama. I realized that we could slightly alter our course so that I might come and pay you a visit." He stood and bowed as he spoke.

She sat in the western chair across from him with graceful ease, her habit rustling as she arranged it around her. She clutched her rosary ardently. "You look quite well, Shuu-san. I hear you have been made into a general? You are quite young for it." She commented softly.

"Indeed. But I have shown a good skill for combat." Shuu replied.

"I see." She looked down at her folded hands for a moment, pausing. "Have you seen ... that is, have you any word from your cousin, Rowan-san?"

"No. I'm afraid I've not seen Rowan in over a year." Shuu replied apologetically. "Although I suspect he is in fact in Takayama. His ... profession would most likely take him there at the moment."

The young nun flushed. "I see." She twisted her delicate rosary in her hands. "My prayers are always with him, you know. And you as well, Shuu-san."

"Even after everything ..." Shuu was awed, "you still love him?"

"You do as well, Shuu-san. My benefactor is not at all an evil man. He cares, maybe not for strangers, but for friends like you an me." A hand smoothed her habit. "He is my savior and the only man - save My Lord - I will ever love."

"You are very devoted, Sister Mary Francis."

"Shuu-san, tell me. If I were to pen a missive, would you deliver it to Rowan-san?" She inquired abruptly.

Shuu looked pensive for a moment. "Should I see him, yes. I will deliver it."

"Then wait a moment, I will write." She responded, rising to her feet and shuffling silently from the room. It was a quarter of an hour before she returned, holding a letter written on coarse, cheap paper, folded origami-style into a square pouch and sealed with dark blue wax. She handed it to Shuu solemnly. "And please, give him this message, if not the letter. Tell him that he is never so far gone that love cannot redeem him."

Shuu tusked the letter inside his kimono, close to his heart. "I will do as you wish. Oyasumi, Sister Mary Francis."

* * *

"Seiji-sama, might we have words?"

The voice was unexpected, but not unfamiliar. Low and sultry, filled with promise. The blonde didn't turn, knowing that if he did, he would be lost. "Why are you here, Hashiba?" He growled.

"Tsk tsk, such hostility. I came to make you a deal, Seiji-sama."

Seiji didn't know how Touma had managed to enter, though he knew that it must not have been too difficult for a boy of his skills. "What kind of 'deal'?" Seiji asked.

"You have something - or I should say someone - that I consider as belonging to me. I want to make you a trade for him." Touma replied. "I'm willing to be very generous ..."

"The Sanada is a friend of yours, eh? I can't say that I'm surprised." Seiji responded coldly, and he finally found the courage to turn around and face the younger man.

Touma fairly glowed under the light; pale skin clean and smooth, hair loose in a ponytail bound only at the bottom, and Seiji detected a hint of paint across his parted lips. Logic took an abrupt vacation and all Seiji could think of was the feel of that body tensing and flexing beneath his palms. This seemed to be Touma's intention, as he stretched lazily against the wall. "I'll trade you anything you'd like, Seiji-sama. What will it be?"

It was quite obvious what he expected Seiji to ask for. And admittedly, Seiji was tempted. He could picture Touma writhing beneath him, could all but hear Touma's voice husky with passion. But Seiji was not the kind of man that would sell his soul for a quick fuck. He growled lowly. "I don't want your filth perverting this home. All I will take in exchange is your life for his."

The sultry demeanor abruptly evaporated. Touma straightened, eyes dark. "If I turn myself over to you, you will release Ryo?" He asked, in all seriousness. Seiji nodded gravely, and Touma tossed his head. "Agreed. It is about time I died anyway."

This was not precisely what Seiji had expected. He blinked as Touma resolutely crossed his arms. "Hashiba ..."

Touma held out his hands. "Bind me. Take me away. I know you are as good as your word, so you will release Ryo. Now come on." He held out his arms again. "Bind me!"

Seiji pulled out the sash that held his hakama and tied the other boy's hands. Touma made not the slightest move to stop him.

* * *

The keys rattled in Seiji's hand as they descended into the stone cellar that served as a prison. Touma embraced the cold, feeling pleasantly chilled, but he knew that Ryo would be miserable. The other boy despised the cold.

"Sanada!" Seiji called. "Get up. You're leaving."

The tan, black-haired man in the single cell stirred slightly. "I ... what?" He looked up. "Touma?!" In a flash Ryo was at the bars, wide-eyes, reaching out for his partner. "Touma! Are you all right?"

"Baka!" Touma spat in response, glaring. "Coming back here for me ... !"

Ryo winced, but did not shy away when Seiji unlocked the cell and shoved Touma into it. Ryo blinked in surprise before what was occurring dawned on him. "Baka." He murmured, gently. "Trading yourself for me ..."

Touma just scowled. "Go. There are people waiting for you."

"I refuse this sacrifice, Touma." Ryo responded.

"You haven't the right to. Go." Touma growled.

"Touma I won't let you ..." The protest was abbreviated when Touma sealed his mouth over Ryo's. The young mercenary was shocked into immobility, and didn't have time to react as Touma shifted his weight and shoved him out of the cell. Seiji, angered by that kiss for some reason he wouldn't admit, slammed the cell shut before Ryo could regain his balance.

"You're free, Sanada." Seiji growled. "I'm sure that you can find your way out."

"Ninmu shippai, Ryo-kun." Touma said from the cell. "Forget it and get on with your life."

"They'll kill you." Ryo whispered the obvious. "They'll kill you, Touma. Don't you get it?"

"Hai! And I'm sick of life anyway. But you aren't so go." Touma growled. Ryo was not ready to back down, but it didn't matter since about then Seiji shoved him into the stairwell.

"I don't want to see your face anymore." Seiji hissed. "Move it." A hand on the hilt of his sword showed his sincerity, and Ryo had just enough good sense to obey.

Touma laughed once Ryo was out of sight, leaning against the cool stone bench. "He can move pretty fast when it suits him, ne?" he commented.

Seiji just frowned. "Why would you sacrifice yourself for ... for him? Do you ... love him that much?"

Touma blinked. "Love? Ryo?" he laughed. "Heh. Maybe, I guess."

Seiji was rather perplexed. "If you don't love him, then what on earth would convince you to ..."

"Because he came here because of me." Touma cut him off. "No one dies for me. By my hand, sure. But not because of me."

"So." Seiji raised an eyebrow. "You do have some honor."

Touma looked like he was trying not to laugh. "Seiji-sama, you really think highly of yourself, don't you? Between the two of us, you are the hero and I am the villain. But Date Seiji is a mercenary just like me, available to the highest bidder. Paid to kill."

Seiji gritted his teeth. "I'm not like you, Hashiba. I have limits, I have morals. You'll do anything for the right price."

Touma grinned. "You're probably right. I'm a greedy, greedy little bastard, ne?" He smirked, then moved close to the bars. "Come here."

Seiji gave him a look. "What?"

Touma stuck one arm out through the bars and motioned Seiji closer. "Come here."

Slowly, one hand on his sword hilt, Seiji approached. Touma motioned him closer until he was right on the other side of the bars. "What, Hashiba?" Seiji demanded.

Touma reached out with lightning speed and pulled Seiji into a kiss. Seiji's shoulders bumped against the cold metal bars, but the swordsman was too effectively distracted to notice. Touma's lips were as warm and sweet as they had been before, and somehow now the kiss was more frantic. Seiji knew - really knew - who he was dealing with now. Someone who understood what it was to kill a person, to murder for money.

He realized dimly that this man disgusted him, that this was a man who had respect for no one. But the thought was faint and indistinct, tickling at the very back of his mind.

In the end it was Touma that moved away, more for the need of air than anything else, laughing breathlessly. He pressed his forehead against Seiji's through one of the gaps in the bars, indigo eyes meeting violet. Seiji's eyes were dim with desire.

"Tell me, oh great, Seiji-sama," Touma said, "where that fits into your blessed 'morals'."

* * *

Djinn: Meep! Oh dear, Touma isn't behaving himself at ALL!

Kaiya: Bad Touma-chan! You should be punished. *wink*

Nai: KAIYA! I saw that wink! You're cheating on me with Touma again, aren't you? Oh, I just KNEW it!

Kaiya: Nai I swear ... wait, what do you mean, "again"?

Nai: Please! I know what happened in the last couple chapters of 'The Universe'!

Kaiya: Don't be silly. Everyone was on MY side in that battle!