Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ Koi wa Kurushimi ❯ To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways? ( Chapter 15 )

Koi wa Kurushimi
By Djinn Hashiba-Maxwell

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WARNINGS : Sex, melodrama, and gross lubricating substance. Seriously. ^^ I was out of ideas.
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And indeed there will be a time
To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?" --
Time to turn back and descend the stair

- The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
- T.S. Eliot
----

"Seiji, you need to get up." Touma was saying. Seiji blinked distractedly, as if he wasn't really hearing the words, but Touma didn't wait for cooperation. He pulled Seiji up off the floor, holding him straight just long enough to make sure that he wasn't going to collapse again, tying his obi with shaking hands. "Come on Seiji, you're scaring me. We gotta get out of here, okay?"

"Hashiba?" Seiji murmured, his voice strangely hollow.

Touma's head jerked up. "H-hai?"

"... Please don't touch me."

Slowly, Touma moved his hands away. His expression was one of ultimate guilt. "Seiji ... I can explain this. Really, I can explain everything. But now is not the time; we have to get out of here, all right?"

Seiji blinked.

"All right?!"

Seiji's eyes drifted back to Touma's, violet meeting indigo, seeming to search for few moments. There was a hesitation, then:

"All right."

----

"You know, Sanada ... no matter how well you were trained, you were not raised as Akuko. You did not learn from the time you were born the art of fighting dirty." Kayura smirked, lowering herself into a well-trained stance.

"What cave have you been living in?" Ryo snorted in response. "As you're so fond of pointing out, I am a Sanada, little girl. You may have been trained by Akuko to be a jack-of-all-trades ... you may be better at all this 'sneaking around, stabbing people in the back' shit, but I'm a ninja." His blades sang in the air as he spun them into a simple two-handed stance, one above the head and one out in front. "In a good, old-fashioned, face to face swordfight ... you're sorely lacking in the skills to beat me."

"Really." Kayura said dryly. "And what is so wonderfully fantastic about your ninja skills, my dear Sanada?"

"Why not try me and find out?" Ryo replied, raising an eyebrow in invitation.

"Gladly." And Kayura lunged.

----

"Hashiba?" Seiji said.

Touma dimly wished that Seiji would stop calling him by his last name, but did not say so. "Yes?"

"What about your friend - the ninja?"

Touma blinked at this, and then smiled slightly. "Don't worry. He's clumsy, loud, almost stupidly loyal, and has no skill at all for stealth ... but in a straight fight, he's probably a better warrior than both of us combined. Hell, he taught me to swordfight."

"Oh." Seiji responded.

"Come on, Seiji, let's get out of here. I think we've more than overstayed our welcome."

----

The battle was furious, and almost evenly matched. What Kayura lacked in strength, she made up for in agility and speed, but Ryo himself was by no means slow. Kayura's sai were shorter than Ryo's swords, forcing her to be closer in order to strike, but she was a smaller target than her opponent, and was able to duck underneath many of Ryo's strikes. Still, after several minutes they had not even drawn first blood, though both were breathing hard from the exertion.

"You're slipping, Sanada." Kayura hissed, licking a bead of sweat from her upper lip.

"I don't think so, gaki." Ryo replied, and then they were at each other again.

----

"You're not ... going to help him?" Seiji asked.

Touma paused in the darkened hallway to look over his shoulder at the blonde following him. "Ryo can take care of himself." He responded.

"That's not how it seemed to me ..." Seiji murmured, finally beginning to sound like himself.

"Yeah, all right, so the guy is an idiot. But he's a good swordfighter, that I'll guarantee you."

"But isn't Kayura good as well?"

Touma snorted. "She's only been with Akuko since she was three - of course she's good! But Ryo was born into a ninja family. Swordfighting is in his blood. And he's older than Kayura, he's had more practice."

"Yes, but ..."

"We don't need to worry about him. We do need to worry about ourselves. Come on."

----

Kayura had drawn first blood, her sai tearing the waist of his kimono, the sharp point on the left of her sai tearing Ryo's skin. She had grinned in triumph at her minor victory, but Ryo has simply twisted his body out of her range, the metal still buried in his side, so that the sai was wrenched out of Kayura's hand. He tossed aside one sword in order to free a hand, ripping the sai out of his side, before tossing it away to a corner of the room.

One sword to one sai. The odds seemed even, but Ryo knew that things were in fact in his favor.

Sai, you see, are designed to be used in a pair. Sai strikes involve a block with one hand and a strike with the other, in short, they are a two-handed weapon. This was why Touma or Seiji could not have beaten Kayura; Touma's form with a sword was weak, and Seiji fought with a single sword. Ryo's two-handed style could block and strike a the same time, the same as sai. Still, Ryo was just as skilled with single-sword combat as he was with double. The effectiveness of his technique was not hindered by the loss of a sword.

But there was not much that Kayura could do with a single sai.

Ryo moved in for the kill.

----

"Sword!" Touma cried to Seiji, tossing the weapon towards his ally. They had been holding their own bare-handed, but they had no time to waste, and with weapons they could probably cut through the meager defenses like a hot knife through butter. Kayura had evidently wanted time alone with her new toys; they were in a seldom used and poorly defended section of the vast underground installation that was Akuko-no-yama.

Seiji nodded in thanks, catching the sword in his left hand and drawing with his right, using the momentum of the unsheathing to slice his opponent across the face. He tossed the sheath aside and turned to the next man.

Touma had taken the wakizashi from the same guard whose sword he lifted, and used it deftly, his skill with the typically defensive weapon as much his trademark as his looks. The man he faced fell quickly. He paused to catch his breath when Seiji's voice broke into his reverie. "Touma!"

Seiji slammed into him, taking in the shoulder a strike that would have found Touma's heart. Touma twisted as he fell, acting on pure instinct, and his wakizashi bit into the guard's unprotected belly, slicing him open. Touma hit the ground panting, Seiji landing heavily on top of him. He didn't have time to ponder the fact that Seiji had actually protected him, because more men were swarming from the halls. They must have called the alarm. He levered the blonde to his feet, guiding Seiji's hand to put pressure on the blonde's own wound. "Relax." Touma grinned weakly. "I'll be back in a second."

And he turned back to the fighting.

----

Kayura had performed surprisingly well with her single sai, but she was still no match for a master swordsman with a single such weapon. Eventually she had caught Ryo's sword between two of the points as he came down on her, and twisted the weapon, trying (rather cleverly, actually) to snap the blade; but Ryo had twisted the other way, the blade of his stolen sword holding, (as much to his surprise as Kayura's) and the second sai had been torn from her grip. She stumbled back as Ryo advanced on her.

"Well played, Sanada." She hissed angrily, but her trembling voice betrayed her; for once she sounded her young age. "You are the better fighter. I have lost to a champion, I am sure. Take my life as your trophy." She shook, but raised her chin, baring her throat to his blade.

Ryo hesitated, then sighed. "I ... cannot kill you." He said, lowering his sword. "But then again ... I cannot leave you to come after Touma again. So ..." and he slammed the heel of his booted foot down on her right hand, twisting it into the floor. There was a sickening, wet crunch, almost totally drowned out as Kayura screamed, before lapsing into unconsciousness.

Ryo stepped back as her limp body crumpled to the floor. "Those bones will never heal properly." He said to her unhearing ears. "You will never hold a sword again."

----

"How you feeling, Seiji-kun?" Touma asked between gritted teeth, trying to help the blonde up the ladder to the surface behind him. Unfortunately, because of the wound Seiji had taken to the shoulder, he was forced to take the rungs one-handed.

"Delightful, Touma-kun." Seiji replied, his teeth gritted against the pain. "Just delightful. Couldn't you tell?"

"Oh yes." Touma tossed back, holding the blonde steady as he tried to reach the next rung. "You simply radiate joy." They were only a few rungs down from the round portal that would lift them up into the Onokoro valley that concealed Akuko-no-yama. "Come on, we're almost out."

"Good." Seiji grunted. "I'm never coming to Onokoro again. Next time you ask for a favor, I'm going to slice your head off."

"Don't worry." Touma replied. "No more favors." Battle has a way of overshadowing all else; what had happened in the room was, for the moment, overlooked.

When they were only two rungs down, the portal above them swung open to the brightening sky. Touma freed one hand to reach for his wakizashi, before the opening was filled with a familiar face.

"Hello boys." Ryo grinned. "Need a hand?"

----

They were a day and a half in travel before they reached a town that Touma deemed safe enough for them to purchase a room and stop for the night. Touma brought out the money he had received to assassinate Mikitsuna - no qualms about spending money he hadn't earned, he - and bought up the only two free rooms at the small inn. Touma had nearly laughed as the innkeeper had given the three of them a dubious look and announced that both the rooms were singles. Touma had smiled, winningly, and informed him that they'd manage.

The blue-haired boy now sat on the bed in the smaller of the two rooms, while Ryo puttered around, re-arranging their things, unnerved by his friend and sometimes-lover's silence. Eventually Touma grew tired of the nervousness, and snagged Ryo's tunic at the elbow as he passed, pulling him to sit beside him on the bed.

"Ryo -" Touma began, then stopped.

The ninja raised an eyebrow curiously, only his eyes betraying his worry. He had seemed rather guilty when he confessed that he allowed Kayura to live; had expected to be berated for it. No doubt he believed he was about to receive a tardy reprimand.

"Ryo ... if not for you, Kayura could have killed us all. Thank you."

Ryo blinked. "I ... Touma, you know I would do anything to protect you."

Touma looked away, seeming almost sad. "I know. You know that ... I would do the same, don't you?"

"Hai." Ryo agreed softly. He reached over, his hand closing around Touma's. "For better or for worse, I want you to know ... I do love you."

"Wakarimasu." Touma murmured. He leaned over, pressed as delicate kiss just to the side of Ryo's lips. "Ryo, you will always be like a brother to me."

Ryo started at the words, but did not have it in him to be surprised. Hurt, but not surprised. "I could not ask for more." He replied quietly, hand tightening around Touma's for an instant, before withdrawing.

It was true, he could not ask for more. That did not mean he didn't want to.

"Come on, Touma. "Ryo invited. "Let's go to bed. You and I both I have need of sleep, I think."

"Thank you, Ryo, but ..."Touma glanced at the wall, as if he were hoping to see into the room beside them. "I think I must speak to Date-san, first."

There was not the slightest hint of recrimination in Ryo's voice as he agreed and, almost meekly, he let Touma go.

----

There was a knock on the door. Seiji looked away from the window, just for a moment, before calling, distractedly, "It's open!"

The door slid open with a dull grating noise, and Touma darted his head inside, scanning the room briefly. When he was satisfied that Seiji was not laying in wait to slice him in half, he slid inside the nondescript room, closing the door behind him. Once inside he hesitated, uncertain. It was a new feeling for him, and one he was finding that he wasn't very fond of.

"Shall I start you off?" The blonde asked without turning. " 'Seiji-kun, I would like to explain ...' "

Touma chuckled without any real mirth and repeated the phrase. "Seiji-kun, I would like to explain ... what happened at Akuko-no-yama."

Seiji turned just enough that he could look at Touma out of the corner of his eye. "I'm listening."

Touma looked away, at the rice-paper walls, the tatami mats, anything but Seiji's face. "Kayura ... she's got this ... thing for me. So she didn't want to kill me, you know. But she - she couldn't just let me get off clean - I tried to desert Akuko, after all. So she decided ... that is ... ... She didn't want to 'damage' me." There was an ironic quirk of his lips at this, barely there before it was gone. "So she thought she'd ... mess with my head, ne? And there was ... ... She had two prisoners that had less value to her than dirt. You and Ryo didn't matter to her. So she thought ..." He hesitated, shoving his long blue hair out of his eyes in nervous manner. "I think she was afraid of you; she wanted to break you, make sure that you weren't a threat. And she figured she could kill two birds with one stone ..."

Seiji's gaze was impassive. "Why did she assume you would care?" He inquired.

Touma emitted what sounded like a curse in a foreign tongue - likely French - and shoved his hair out of his eyes. "Rape is senseless. The only person who benefits is the one doing it. And I ... I can't abide senseless violence."

"Funny words from an assassin." Seiji commented.

Touma wasn't going to take that. "Don't give me your self-righteous bullshit, you fucking mercenary! Everyone has their own code of morals - just because mine allows for my profession doesn't mean that I have no conscience at all!"

"So you did it because Kayura forced you, thinking it would break us both?" Seiji asked, one blonde brow arching, his tone sardonic.

Touma cursed again, in Japanese this time. "It was either I hurt you or she would kill you! Given the - rather poor - options, I think I made the better choice!"

"I thought you were so clever, Hashiba. I thought you were the best assassin out there. And yet, you were bested by a twelve-year-old." Seiji shot back.

"Look, you fought me. I'm no warrior! I'm good at what I do because I don't get caught doing it! If I do, I'm screwed, because without Ryo - or someone - at my back, I can't fight my way out of it!" Touma huffed. "At Akuko-no-yama, I got caught."

"So you decided to save your own hide by bowing to Kayura's will."

"My hide was never in danger! It was yours I was worried about! We both know Kayura had every reason to kill you. At the very least, I thought I could buy some time. And it looks like it worked, since you're alive, ne?"

Silence.

Touma stalked over to the window, invading Seiji's personal space, leaning in so close that their noses were almost touching. "Ne?" He repeated.

Seiji's gaze met his for a moment before darting away, skittish, and it occurred to Touma that maybe there was a reason that Seiji was thought to be so cold. Maybe that was what he hid behind, like he was doing now, so as not to touch the rest of the world. It's so easy to look strong if you pretend that nothing affects you. In Akuko-no-yama, Seiji had been at Touma's mercy. This was his way of regaining control.

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, Touma knew through experience that he was very adept at making Date Seiji lose control.

"Seiji. I did what I thought was best. What I had to do. You think there were other options - maybe there were, maybe there weren't. But I chose from the only ones I saw, and I would do the same again. I think I was right. I'm sorry if you think otherwise." Touma laid a chaste peck against the blonde's lips, and then turned away.

"I--" Touma paused in his retreat, listening. "I don't know what I would have done, if it had been reversed." Seiji murmured. "No matter what the repercussions, I'm not sure I could have done it. But -- if what your saying is true, then I ... probably would have tried."

Touma turned, eyebrows raised curiously.

"If you came here asking for understanding, then you have it. But forgiveness ... not so easily granted." Even now, Seiji was still facing out the window, not looking at Touma. "You scared the shit out of me, Touma."

Touma chuckled darkly. "To be honest, I think I scared myself. I'm not a sadist, Seiji, and I'm not like those other assassins that get off on blood and pain and fear. I kill people because it's my trade, just like some people paint and some people build. If there wasn't a market for it, I wouldn't be doing it. But I don't ... take pleasure from it, you know?"

Seiji sighed. "I know." He whispered.

"I don't want you to hate me, Seiji."

"I don't."

"Then why won't you look at me?"

Seiji laughed bitterly. "Because I'm afraid that if I do, I'll forget that someone so beautiful can be so ruthless inside."

Touma snorted. "You're one to talk! How long did I take for you to go from wanting to shove your hands down my pants to wanting to hang me from a gallows?"

"You speak as if the two had nothing to do with each other." Seiji muttered.

"Look, Seiji, if you want to fuck me, fuck me! If you want to kill me, kill me! But I wish you would make up your goddamn mind, because it's driving me crazy!"

There was a frown in Seiji's voice; Touma couldn't see if it was also present on his face. "I don't want to kill you."

"So you want to fuck me then?" Touma challenged.

"Fuck you?" Seiji repeated coldly. "Fuck you ... no, I don't want to fuck you, Touma." Seiji glanced over his shoulder thoughtfully, considering something carefully. Finally he rose to his feet and padded across the room, looking Touma over carefully. "If anything, I would like to make love to you ..."

Touma scoffed and stepped away, looking almost wary. "I don't do love."

Seiji hesitated a moment, before turning away with a sigh. "No, I suppose not."

There was silence for a few moments; not unsurprisingly, it was Touma who broke it. "Seiji ... when you so that you won't to make love to me ... does that me you ... love me?"

Seiji seemed to stiffen. "I hardly know you." He replied. It was not really an answer, but Touma took it as such.

"Yeah, so I thought." Touma muttered. He turned, heading for the door, but was stayed by Seiji's voice.

"That does not mean I cannot love you."

Touma's lips pressed together in a thin line. He turned over his shoulder, forcing a smile. "I thought that I was supposed to be the one being cryptic?"

"Because you lie?"

Touma sighed, turning around, taking a step towards the blonde and then undoing it uncertainly. "I ... that's not what I meant. I just ..." Touma made a noise of frustration, almost disgust. He began fretfully working his hair out of the tight plait it had been bound in, frowning to himself. "At the worst, I hide the truth."

"Then allow me the same luxury."

"I hate myself for it. I refuse to accept the same from someone else."

Seiji didn't have a response to that. He licked his suddenly dry lips, watching as Touma loosed his hair and allowed it to spread over his narrow shoulders. Seiji had never seen Touma's hair completely unbound; typically he always wore it in that harsh plait, and the only time he'd ever seen it tied back in a simple tail had been back in Takayama, where Touma had tried to seduce him into releasing Ryo.

Touma took a step closer and Seiji watched himself reach out and capture some of those dark blue strands between his fingers, feeling their silken texture over the hard sword-calluses on his palm. Touma smiled slightly, almost a smirk, and his thin, tapered fingers came to rest around Seiji's wrist. He pulled on Seiji's arm, bringing the blonde closer to him, guiding the arm around his waist. The younger boy's free hand came to rest against Seiji's chest, warm through the thin cotton of his yukata. Seiji's eyes slid closed against his will.

"Touma ..." he whispered. "Don't ..."

"Don't what?" Touma wanted to know, the hand around Seiji's wrist releasing to travel up the blonde's arm, fingers twisting into the soft hairs at the nape of his neck.

Seiji sighed in blissful defeat at those fingers massaged his scalp. Touma's lips found his throat, softly. "Don't do this for my sake."

Touma's fingers slowly worked the knot of the other's obi, his lips and breath tickling Seiji's throat as he spoke, the tone self-deprecating. "Do you think I would do anything purely to be selfless?"

"Yes."

Touma sucked in a sudden breath, his fingers fumbling at the unexpected response. "Seiji ..."

And then Seiji was kissing him. Seiji was kissing him. Seiji had never kissed him. He'd kissed Shuu Rowan, of course - Shuu Rowan the innocent, pretty little archer. But that was not Hashiba Touma, not the assassin, not the real person behind the act and the pretty face. And despite himself, Touma melted into it. There was such a large difference, he thought, between kissing and being kissed. Kissing someone put you in control, and despite the fact that Touma had, in many respects, fucked his way into the reputation he now possessed, he was always - always - in control. Even when Seiji had kissed him in Takayama, it was because Touma had wanted him to. Touma was still in control of the situation.

Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing, not to have control.

Seiji's lips parted, pulling Touma's apart beneath them, so that he could explore the inside of the younger boy's warm mouth with a velvety, dexterous tongue. Touma made a noise that he couldn't quite describe, but it was definitely one of approval as Seiji went about exploring every corner of his mouth. Touma slid his hands around the blonde's waist, sliding the obi off with the motion, letting Seiji's robe fall open to his searching hands. His palms slid across the firm muscles of Seiji's abdomen, feeling them flex reflexively beneath his curious touch, before relaxing in conscious acceptance. The roughspun yukata fell away without much effort, leaving the entirety of Seiji's upper body open to Touma's explorations.

Their mouths didn't part as they released the fastenings of the their garments, letting each fall to the floor as it was removed. Touma was fascinated in the feel of the warm, pale flesh beneath his hand - touching his lovers, even the ones he took willingly, was something in which he very seldom indulged. Even with Ryo, their sex had been more violent than tender, for all he'd enjoyed it. But Seiji's touch was more curious than claiming - soft, barely there for the most part, ghosting over his arms and back as if peeling back a layer of skin, leaving him hot and over-sensitized. He murmured pleasure into Seiji's mouth that was quickly swallowed by the other man.

Touma knew where this was going, where it would end - he tugged on Seiji's wrists, pulling him towards the thin futon. Not the first time, of course not, but one of the few times he'd ached for it, the satisfaction found in joining two boToumas as one. Seiji followed him, hands settling on Touma's waist, not letting their mouths part for even a second as they sank down onto the pallet. Seiji's hands swept down his back, shifting over him slightly, pushing Touma back onto the futon. Touma went without much protest.

Finally Seiji broke the joining of their mouths, the need for air overriding the passion singing in his veins. He panted, crouching over the younger boy, grey eyes dark with intent. Touma reclined below him, perfectly at ease though just as out of breath, eyes black with passion. He flashed a smile at the blonde before dropping his hands to the knot of his own obi, deftly untying it. Seiji watched, rapt, his lips unconsciously flickering over his dry lips, his gaze hungry. His hands slid into the kimono, learning by touch that which his eyes couldn't see. Touma's eyes fell half-closed, a noise of approval emerging from deep in his throat. Touma's hands returned to Seiji's hips, sliding inside his hakama and pushing them over his hips. Seiji shivered.

"I --" Seiji blushed, looking down at Touma spread out before him like a dream. "I've never done this before." He confessed in a single breath, his voice low and husky.

Touma cocked his head, his smile slightly amused as his hands slid over Seiji's pale thighs. "With a man?" He inquired.

"With anyone." Seiji admitted, eyes taking in the tanned skin exposed where Touma's kimono fell open, hands curiously tracing the muscles there. Nothing like a woman, really, despite how pretty he was. "Just -- no time." He explained with a half shrug.

Touma's smirk was still there, but it was not harsh as usual - just genuinely amused. He chuckled. "And you so pretty, too ..." He teased, before folding his hands over Seiji's cheeks and pulling him down for a kiss.

Seiji leaned into the embrace eagerly, forgetting his explorations of the newly revealed body below him, tasting the mouth that he could become addicted to. Touma brought his legs up on either side of his, letting Seiji settle himself between his thighs, his growing erection pressing into Seiji's warm stomach. Seiji settled himself without thinking, wiggling slightly to get comfortable without breaking the kiss.

Touma moaned at the friction as Seiji unconsciously moved himself against his hardness - Seiji pulled away slightly and blinked curiously at the expression of rapt, inward concentration on Touma's face before grasping the reason behind it, and with a slight smile that was almost a smirk, he ground against Touma's groin purposefully. Touma moaned a bit louder, pushing back against Seiji unconsciously. The blonde could feel the heat of him pressed up against the soft flesh of his stomach - it was making him a bit lightheaded, as if he couldn't breathe, or couldn't breathe fast or hard enough, anyway, and he desperately wanted the rest of Touma's clothes off.

Where they'd go from there, he hadn't really decided yet. He'd worry about it later.

He stripped the kimono from the darker haired man, disentangling Touma's arms and shoving it out of the way. Touma's lips deftly slid away from his, over to nibble on Seiji's earlobe - which made him gasp - and then down further, to sink his teeth into the junction of shoulder and neck, hard enough to leave a mark - which made him moan. Touma shifted his legs up, moving so that Seiji's hard member pressed against him just there.

"Wait!" Seiji gasped, pulling back just slightly - not a retreat, just enough to dislodge Touma's mouth from his neck, so that he could look the other man in the face. "I don't ... I don't want to be another one of those men for you." Seiji murmured harshly. "I don't want this just to be another casual fuck for you, so that you can pretend it never happened."

Touma blinked up at him, curious, not fully understanding what the blonde was saying until Seiji rolled off of him, then pulled Touma on top of him instead, reversing their positions. Touma gaze widened.

"You ... you're sure?" He whispered.

Seiji swallowed. "Not really." He admitted. "But I trust you."

I trust you.

Even after everything, knowing who Touma really was, and after what Touma had done to him ... Touma didn't think that so simple a phrase could mean so much. He choked, leaning down to press his lips against Seiji's in a surprisingly chaste kiss. Goddamn it, Hashiba Touma did not get emotional!

Seiji arched up against him, and Touma was struck by how odd this was. He was the uke - always had been. He'd never been on the other side of things, had rarely even slept with a woman. And Seiji - well, Seiji had just confessed that he'd never slept with anyone. Shit, this was a bit much.

Touma pulled away from Seiji, taking a deep breath. "All right." He whispered, harshly, his breathing hard and labored. "If that's what you want." And he leaned in to taste Seiji's lips again, mind working quickly. "Do ... have something? Oil, or something?" Touma asked breathlessly, his mouth barely separating from Seiji's. The blonde blinked.

"There ... oil. For my sword." He gestured to the small bag that was still tied to his obi, and Touma reached out one hand, barely having the reach to grab it, and fumbled out the small bottle. He glanced at it, then back at Seiji, as if asking permission, before sliding down between the blonde's legs.

He drew Seiji's legs up slightly as he poured some of the oil into his hand, pausing to let it warm against this skin. He traced his lips over the sensitive skin of Seiji's inner thigh, flicking at it with his tongue, as he reached past the juncture of Seiji's legs, searching for that pucker of muscle with his two oiled fingers.

By now, Seiji was anticipating some extreme discomfort, clenching his hands into the sleets beside his body but still parting his thighs wide to the side and pulling his knees up a bit to give his lover room between. The blonde smiled slightly, looking down at the unbound blue hair spilling out over his chest.

"You're beautiful, Touma."

Touma fought the urge to blush and smiled back up at Seiji. His fingers found the opening he had been seeking and he worked the oil around it, ignoring the sudden tensing of the blonde, making sure it was slick before slowly sliding one slick finger inside with minimal resistance. He paused, allowing Seiji to grow accustomed to the alien sensation, vividly recalling his first time. He didn't wait long before he slid the finger out partially and joined it with a second, both of them reaching for the fleshy pleasure spot that made the discomfort worthwhile.

Seiji's head was thrown back upon his pillow, body somewhat tense and yet not demanding that Touma stop. He was allowing this. He wanted this.

And so he forced himself to relax, focussing on the pressure inside him generated by those fingers instead. Gods, it felt good ...

"Mmm ... Touma ..." Pure sensuality as he moaned the younger boy's name.

/Gods./ Touma thought eyes traveling over the pretty picture that his lover presented, completely bare before him, chest surging as he breathed hard, head thrown back against the pillow. No one else had ever seen Seiji like this, seen him willingly surrender like this, and the thought filled Touma with affection.

But the lust was starting to be hard to ignore.

Still working his fingers inside Seiji gently he rose up, covering Seiji's body with his own to kiss him again, sliding his fingers out of Seiji's body only to grab the oil once more and quickly spread some of the stuff over his cock before guiding it the that entrance.

He paused, eyes boring into Seiji's. "You sure?" He asked breathlessly.

No. Seiji was apprehensive, and afraid, and a million things more. But he found that he couldn't tell Touma he didn't want this now that the two had come so far.

Wrapping his arms up and gently cradling the taller man's body, Seiji wrapped his legs about Touma's waist likewise with an aura of certainty that he honestly didn't feel inside.

This was his virginity Touma was taking, and yet Seiji could think of no one he would rather give it to.

He was sure of that at least.

"Take me ... koi." An affectionate term he had never dreamed he would be using to address Hashiba Touma. But it just seemed right now.

Touma nodded, and slowly, carefully, he pressed inside. He had to grit his teeth at the tightness, gods, and a sound somewhere between a groan and a growl worked itself up from the bottom of his throat. Gods, this was nothing like with a woman, so hot and tight around him, and beyond this, it was SEIJI. It was Seiji he was inside, Seiji who was moaning beneath him. The arms around him where Seiji's, as was the breath ruffling his hair.

"Uhn .... god ..." He moaned as he pressed all the way in, not stopping until his balls were pressed against the fleshy globes of Seiji's ass.

Seiji wasn't having quite the same pleasure as Touma was, but the pain was bearable. It had surprised him at first, causing Seiji to bite his lip and allow a small trickle of blood to escape down his chin, but now that the sensations were easing up a bit, Seiji found his voice once more, though choked a bit.

"Touma ... s-stop ... Just ... just for a minute ..." He had to find a way to ground himself in the sensations, especially that of being thrust into to envelop the entire length of Touma's cock.

Touma held still, allowing his lover to adjust to the ambit of new sensations, fearing that he might have gone too fast. He reached down between them, stroking Seiji's cock, trying to distract him from the unfamiliar sensations of being spread wide.

"Just relax. It'll feel better in a minute." He murmured breathlessly, before leaning down to lick of the trail of blood form Seiji's split lip, following it to Seiji's lips, where he leaned in for a gentle kiss. No tongues this time, simply a soft meeting of lips, in contrast to the actions they were engaged in. Seiji nodded breathlessly, before kissing back against the other man and tightening the hold of his thighs upon Touma's hips, pulling the dark haired man in as deeply as he could go.

Touma groaned as Seiji's legs tightened around him, causing him to sink slightly deeper into the other man. He parted his lips, sliding his tongue hotly into Seiji's mouth, exploring the surfaces of it, lifting one hand to rake through the blonde's hair, cupping the back of his skull as Touma dove into his mouth. He tasted slightly of blood and beyond that, something spicy and dangerous that Touma had yet to identify as anything but pure Seiji.

Unable to wait any longer, Touma pulled back slightly, before pressing back inside again, trying once more to find that spot that he knew from experience would send burning pleasure through the blonde's veins.

Seiji felt his body rocked slightly under that motion, arching slightly but trying to keep his wail of pleasure in check when Touma found it.
The noises that Seiji was making had the archer captivated - the entire time Touma was inside him, he never stopped purring or moaning softly, arching up and gasping out a cry of pleasure whenever Touma's shaft touched that spot inside him.

"That ... That feels really g-good ... Mm ..."

Touma watched Seiji's face with a small smile, rapt. Every bit of pleasure, every sensation that Seiji's felt was written plainly on his face, and the heat noises that melted from his throat just served to make Touma want him more.

He pulled back further this time, driving into Seiji with a little more force now that he knew what he was aiming for, stroking Seiji's cock in unison with his motions and dropping his mouth to Seiji's throat, laving the mark he'd made there earlier. And just as before, when Touma pressed inside him, Seiji cried out in pleasure, arching up to impale himself more and afterwards moaning long and rather loudly for having attentions upon his sensitive throat again.

Touma desperately tried to steady his breathing as he finally set a steady rhythm, driving against that spot inside the blonde, digging his teeth into the flesh of Seiji's throat when the sensations became to much, and delighting in the full-throated sounds of pleasure coming from Seiji's throat.

"Gods, Seiji ... I ... uhn ..." He thought that the words desperately trying to escape off his tongue might have been "I love you", but he must have been mistaken, for those were words not something spoken by Hashiba Touma. So he buried his face in Seiji's throat, sucking on the salty flesh and he stroked inside the other man.

Seiji couldn't help it when he finally found release, raking his short nails down the length of Touma's back and quite literally screaming in pleasure with his back arched rather nicely under Touma's.

Seiji's passage clamped around Touma's hard shaft in a space that could never be voluntarily assigned to his intrusive member, and he thrust into that sweet pressure once, twice, before finding release. His rough cry echoed Seiji's as he collapsed atop the blonde, panting heavily against his neck, and his arms came up to limply embrace the other man as he felt the last vestiges of pleasure roll over him.

"Gods." Touma breathed. "That was ..." but he could not think of words to describe it that would not sound horribly and insincerely cliche, and so he had to settle for a lingering kiss to the base of Seiji's throat. Seiji just locked his ankles about Touma's waist, keeping the other inside, and pressed the smallest of searing kisses to the top of his head.

"... it was really good."

They could leave it at that. Seiji had no desire to add bits of promises and such to the evening either. Even if he did know right then that he was in love with the archer, with a passion he had rarely felt for anything before. Instead he drew the blankets up and over the two of them, still intertwined, and settled himself under the protective warmth of Touma's body.

----

It was already light when Seiji awoke - for him, it was startlingly late in the day to be just rising. But then again, he'd had a busy night. He smiled, slightly, stretching out his cramped muscles, when he noticed something.

He was alone.

He sat up on the pallet, brushing his blonde hair out of his eyes. The room was exactly as it was last night ... only, Touma's kimono was gone from the floor where they had discarded it in their haste. He blinked at the room, curiously, before rising quickly, throwing a robe over his shoulders for the minimum of propriety and taking the few steps that would put him outside of Ryo's room. Perhaps Touma had woken in the night, and retreated there ... ?

A peek through the door showed that the swordsman was still in bed asleep, and quite alone. But what was disturbing was that the wakizashi that Touma had stolen in Akuko-no-yama was gone. Seiji felt a cold suspicion settle into the pit of his stomach.

He made for the stables at a run, barefoot, not caring how he looked to the other inn patrons. He threw open the stable doors, eyes immediately searching for the two stalls where they had left their horses last night. The army horse Touma had stolen was exactly where they had left it.

But the roan, Rekka, it was gone.

Seiji felt something snap - there was a tightness in his throat, as if he were about to cry, but he swallowed hard, once, to try and rid himself of it. Touma was ... gone.

"I've loved people. I wouldn't be human if I hadn't. But when I love, Date-san, I don't love halfway. And if I love someone, how can I doom them by keeping them with me, or by letting them know?"

"So, what? You just push them away?"

"No. I leave them behind."

Touma had left him behind. Touma ... had loved him.

He didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

~ Owari

Djinn: After a long hiatus, there you have it. The final chapter. And yes, there will be an epilogue, and no, it won't nullify this very bittersweet ending. Now, for all of you who are lining up with baseball bats and pointy objects with the intent of doing me bodily harm, I'd like to draw your attention to the two dykes beside me.

Nai: Killing Djinn won't change the fic. It'll just make sure you don't get an epilogue.

Kaiya: And to get to Djinn, you gotta get through me first. *cracks knuckles*

Djinn: Thanks to all of you who have read and commented on this fic. You've been nicer to me than I really deserve. ^_^ *bows* Bai ... for now.