Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ As Time Goes By ❯ The Ties That Bind Part Four ( Chapter 10 )

AS TIME GOES BY....CHAPTER NINE

Hi...First of all I want to personally apologize for the delay in getting this posted. The past few months for me have been difficult at best. A serious combination of an insane work schedule, sick children...and the unexpected death of a family member has really left me reeling. At one point, I actually considered putting this on hiatus until my life took a turn for the slightly less insane.

Luckily for me, and hopefully for you...I have been blessed with some dear friends and a wonderful husband who helped me get this damn chapter finished...and encouraged me not to cater to the least common denominator when it comes to writing.

Thank you Firuze and InfiniteNemo and FujiFunMum AND of course, my darling (and remarkably patient) husband, Dark Agent

(Gods...I hate the snow...) The thought came up over and over again as he passed silently through the white, deserted streets. (...I always have...and I always will...hate the fucking snow...) The snow, had it been a person, would have been in serious trouble. With one remarkable exception, every man who had managed, either through idiocy, fate or design to garner the tall man's hatred was dead.

His disdain for the wintery landscape was not due to an inability to endure icy temperatures, nor was it because the world weary fugitive had a penchant for tender, green blossoms and warm, balmy summer afternoons. His animosity towards this most unforgiving of seasons was the result of memories....one blood soaked memory in particular.

(And now...thanks to my own damn incompetence I'll have two....) A lesser man would have stopped at this particular moment, cursed the Gods for their utter lack of compassion, shed a tear perhaps, or simply bemoaned the harshness of life. This man however, dismissed such banal...and revealing acts of emotion and continued to creep towards his destination, a worn out, rat infested warehouse where he knew....or at least hoped...that he would find the corpse of his father.

It had been emotion, filial concern perhaps, that had prompted him to send his father on the train...a desire to spare the old man from the icy walking conditions that he had endured without a word of complaint. And it was this same, unwelcome...but undeniable emotion, that drew him to this dangerous place. (I owe it to the old man....) Dark turquoise eyes became haunted as the faint mental remembrance of white plums drifted through his mind (...I owe it to her....to find the body and see that the final rites are properly performed....)

Squelching down the rising tide or regret that was threatening to dull his ferally sharp senses, he continued on...past the abandoned post of a policeman, across a slushy expanse of mud stained snow...until at last his sensitive nostrils twitched slightly, picking up the faint, but unmistakable odor of spilled human blood. It was a scent he was terribly familiar with, a scent that he had reveled in for most of his life. (It fixed itself onto my mind the day she fell...and will stay with me until I take my last breath....)

With the eerie stealth of a tiger, he crept into the first warehouse, a mindlessly large building that reeked of death and despair. He could feel the dissipating energy of grief, could almost hear the moans and sobs of those who found their kin in such a hell hole. Sneering at the thought of such useless sentiment, he quickly examined the cavernous building, finding to his surprise...and deepening wrath, that it was empty. (They have already taken the bodies to be burned...) For a moment, rage welled up within him...as did the desire to lash out, to main and hurt those who in their arrogance had taken his father's body from him, denying him both the chance to fulfill the solemn obligations of an only son...and the time that he needed to say goodbye to the only kind hand he had known since the murder of his beloved sister.

A cruel, sardonic smirk graced his handsome features, transforming the 32 year old man into something hard and merciless...a vengeful creature that any rational person would avoid. (They will pay for this affront....) His hand instinctively went for his watou, the sword he no longer carried...a sword he no longer needed to carry out his murderous intentions. (I will show them what it to die without honor...to leave this existence without benefit of family or rites...)

Tilting his head back, he closed his eyes and willingly allowed the darker side of his being to bleed into every pore, to embrace the harshness of an uncaring reality....to remind himself that he was once again....utterly alone.

There was no irrational wellspring of hope within him, no chance whatsoever that there could be some mistake...that his father could have been spared such a disgraceful end. (I purposefully dressed him as a beggar...made him look as wretched and unapproachable as possible) The disguise that had served to protect his last living relative had ended up condemning the old man, assuring beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would have recieved no medical attention...nor would his battered body have been shown the slightest shred of respect. (For him there was no Water of the Last Moment...instead of the proper Shinishozoku, he wore filthy rags...I'm sure his white haired head faced anywhere but North...)

For a moment, the younger man stood still...listening morosely to the shrieking blizzard that pounded wildly against the battered warehouse...half expecting to hear within the mindless winter moan the disappointed sigh of a long lost sibling...or too see amid the whirling snow eddies a pair of sad, black eyes staring unhappily at him.(Oh, Sister...Once again I have failed to protect my family....) He silently slipped out of the empty warehouse, trying to block the detestable feeling of failure...forcing his brilliant mind instead to come up with an escape route that would allow him finally leave this accursed country behind him.

As he made his way past the second, smaller building...he felt...no, sensed something strange emanating from within the oxidized tin walls. (What in the hell?) It was a faint mental counter melody that brought him up short, brushing up against his anger and grief...then retreating back again, taunting him with it's elusive energy pattern....a pattern he had never felt before. Focusing outward, he pursued the invisible threat of conscious thought, tracking it like a hunter over the snow blasted landscape....and up into the second warehouse, a building that had appeared from the outside to be as abandoned as the first.

The baby fine hairs on his nape stood straight up on end as he crept towards the darkened building. It had been years since he'd felt such a powerful life force, an eternity of living beneath his station...relying only on primal instinct and hard won knowledge to keep himself and his ailing father one step ahead of the mindless police and two steps ahead of the much more intelligent, and far more dangerous triad members who wanted nothing more than to see his head on a pike. (They must have followed us to Yokohama....then watched as I put him on the train....) He snarled softly at the thought, knowing that the men who still pursued him would certainly take advantage of such a rare situation. (It is after all....exactly what I would do....)

The heart that he denied having sank when he detected a second chi within....a terribly weak and unsteady ribbon of living energy that was as familiar as his own. (Father !!!) The man closed his eyes, damning himself once again for his incompetence. (Oh Gods...what have they done to him ?) His lethal hands tightened into fists as he imagined the worse. (He was already in poor health...the cold temperatures only aggravating his consumptive state...) He knew what men were capable of...the brutality that was so easily committed in the name of national security or because of bruised honor.

(...And yet the bastards only sent one man to do the job....) He smiled grimly, recalling the past assassination attempts that had ended with him standing alone amid a pile of decapitated killers. (This man is either very foolish.....or very, very dangerous...) He closed his eyes again and studied the ubiquitous mental signature, amazed at the strength and complexity of it. (....I'm willing to bet on the latter....) A strange sense of morbid competition filled him, making him suddenly eager for the violent and inevitable confrontation. (Let's see how the son of a bitch deals with me....)

A cruel, weary smile settled on his cold lips as he looked around the dilapidated building, searching for a route into the dark warehouse that would allow him to surprise his enemies...and make them pay dearly for their boldness. (I've had it with this bullshit...the endless circle of hunting, killing and hiding ....Tonight, for good or for ill...I will end this !) With feline ease, he contorted his muscular frame, slipping silently between two rusty, water warped tin panels...and into dangerous darkness. (For months now...I wanted to take the old man somewhere else...somewhere safe and warm where he could spend his final days in relative peace...) Pressing his back against the wall, he waited for his sight to adjust to the murky shadows...and his aching heart to accept the fact that those fond desires would never come to pass. (Not now...not ever....My father is gone...and once again, I am utterly alone...)

Within seconds, he was moving...blending effortlessly in the twisted shadows that littered the walls and floor, becoming a nightmarish thing...a lethal dream that wove silently towards his goal. As he silently crept towards the back of the building, his sharp eyes devoured every minute detail....the caustic tangy odor of antiseptics...a table overflowing with linen bandages...the unmistakable scent of dried fragrant herbs and sweet honey. (It appears as though this place was used as a way station for those who managed to survive the train accident....) He noted with detached satisfaction that unlike the other warehouse, this place was surprisingly clean and devoid of vermin, something that the fastidiously clean man couldn't help but approve of. (What an odd place for an ambush....)

Using his predatory instincts, he continued on...back towards the flickering yellow of a fading kerosene lamp...towards the source of the mind bending chi. Pausing for a moment in a particularly dark shadow, he committed both his mind and body to battle...then...with a smirk and a sigh, he boldly stepped out of the darkness...and towards his destiny.

(What the fuck?) Destiny it seemed, had a sick sense of humor. (What in the hell is a woman doing here?) Confusion battled with anger...then gave way to deep relief...and yes, even happiness as his wide eyes settled on the second figure lying peacefully on a futon. (Gods! This can't be !) But somehow...for some inexplicable reason...his father was alive. In the darkness, he gently examined the old man, finding that instead of being subjected to mindless torture...his last living relative had been bandaged and cleaned, fed and cared for.

(Why would she do such a thing?) For a man who had been subjected to the darkest side of the human condition, this was an unimaginable kindness...an act of compassion that shook him to his calloused core. (There has to be some clue that I'm missing...a darker motive that I just can't see....) He turned his attention towards the tall, sleeping woman...hoping to discern some malicious streak hiding just beneath her blood stained skirts and exhausted expression.

What he found only managed to confuse him more..Instead of a lethal adversary, his keen gaze fell upon a thin, foreign woman, one whose delicate facial features were partially hidden under an avalanche of black curly hair. (I'll be damned....) He couldn't help but stare when she shifted in her slumber, revealing sculpted cheekbones, long soot colored lashes and a full, expressive mouth turned downwards in a delightfully crooked frown.

When his sharp gaze finally settled on her left hand, his bemusement vanished..leaving behind only more questions, and a slight tinge of almost protective concern. (This woman is either married to a complete moron....) He bent down and carefully examined the raw, red hands, blood soaked clothing, and the dark rings that marred the delicate flesh under her exotically shaped eyes. (Or she is a widow....) As barbaric as Europeans were, they were not in the habit of sending married females into such dangerous conditions, nor would any honorable man allow his mate to be subjected to such a gross state of neglect.

All thought however, regarding the strange woman's marital state vanished when she stirred again, obviously rising up from her badly needed slumber. (Time to go...) He rose fluidly, taking extreme care not to cause the rotten floorboards to creak, and made his way over to his father's side...slowly but steadily waking him up. As soon as the old man's eyes fluttered open, his son clamped a gentle..but very firm hand over his mouth, preventing the elderly fellow from crying out.

"We must leave...now." The younger man whispered firmly, hoping that he could forestall his father from engaging in an understandable...but entirely ill timed emotional outburst. (There will be time for such things...but only when we are safe...) "Can you walk?"

Blinking back joyful tears, the old man nodded, beyond thankful to once again feel the sturdy strength of his boy. His elation however died when he took in his dark surrounding and knew...that this reunion could come at a very heavy price. (He's taking a terrible risk being out in the open...) Brutal experience had taught him that the monsters who hunted his only surviving child would stop at nothing to achieve their brutal aims. (I was enough of a burden before being injured....) He tried to move his bandaged leg, and nearly cried out in agony. (...now I am only going to slow him down even more...)

"Son, I need you to listen carefully." He croaked, unused to speaking in such a low tone. "Forget about me...leave now, while you can. This lady by my side...she is a doctor...a gentle, good woman." He glanced over at the poor physician, thankful that she had finally fallen asleep. "She will care for me....until." He closed his eyes and tried not to cough...not to think about the sputum filled blood that was creeping up his throat. "Please.....go...don't let me endanger your life more than I already have..."

Rolling his eyes in exasperation, the son carefully began wrapping blankets around his father's rail thin body. "Why don't we save this delightful conversation for a more appropriate time?" He lifted a long tapered finger in warning when his father tried to protest. "We are wasting valuable time. If you value my safety...and your own, you will kindly keep your mouth shut until we are out of this damn warehouse."

(Bless his tender heart...) Fighting down the urge to embrace his mal tempered boy, the old man simply settled for a comforting pat on the shoulder. "There is no need for you to take me with you." He paused, then continued softly...knowing full well that his son, for all his arrogance and strength, was very tender hearted and prone to deep melancholia. "You know the nature of consumption as well as I do. It is foolish for me to remain with you...to put you at further risk." He sighed and reached a shaking hand out towards his son. "You are the last precious gift that life had given me....I want you to leave me and continue to find your true path...Nothing would make me happier than to die knowing that you are safe."

For a spilt second, raw anguish bled out into the younger man's deep turquoise eyes...then was quickly concealed with barely managed sarcasm. "Gods, you really are a sentimental old fool." He helped his father stand, then began to lead him towards the crack in the warehouse wall. "Would you want me to face my ancestors...to look into Tomoe's eyes knowing that I failed to protect my own father?" He sighed softly when his the poor man stumbled...then effortlessly lifted the ailing body into his powerful arms, holding his father as though he would a child. "No old man...you are my father, and as such my responsibility. Now..please, for the love of the Gods, keep quiet!"

"But what about the kind doctor? Surely we can't leave her lying alone?"

"We can....and we will." The son said through tightly clenched teeth, right at the proverbial edge of exploding. "Trust me father, unless I am sadly mistaken, that woman is more than capable of taking care of herself." He glared down furiously at his father, wishing that for once...he didn't have such an honor bound sire.

"But I owe her..."

"You owe her nothing, and neither do I!" He snapped, no longer being as quiet as he should be. "If that woman is a doctor, then she is simply following the dictates of her profession and her own free will. If we remain then we will put not only ourselves at risk...but the woman as well. If you are truly concerned about her honor...and our continuing existence, then I suggest we get the hell out of here while we still can!"

"O...Okita?"

A low, husky voice send chills up his spine. (Congratulations...now she's awake!) Turning his head slightly, he found himself staring into a pair of sleepy, steel grey eyes."You are mistaken my dear." He intentionally distorted the sound of his voice, transforming his normally deep baritone a light, relaxed tenor. "My name is Mumei Tooru. I've come to fetch my uncle and take him home." Smiling brightly, he changed direction and walked calmly towards the warehouse entrance with his wide eyed father in tow. "Please, don't concern yourself over us...just fall back asleep."

Mara seriously considered the request, still in desperate need of sleep. (Why shouldn't I? This in only a dream....) She thought groggily, too weary to notice that the tall man standing before her was taller and more muscular that her co-worker had ever been. "Oh, don't give me that you paranoid little bastard." She yawned and stretched, enjoying the dialogue with the dream induced apparition of a friend she deeply missed. (I've got to hand it to him...he's getting better making up those crazy code names....Mumei Tooru indeed!)

Cracking open one bloodshot eyes, she grinned at the white haired fellow, thankful that for once....her blood soaked nightmares had been replaced with the image of the man who had single handedly saved her life...and her sanity. "I don't care what you call yourself..or that you've colored your hair white." She laid back down on the cold wooden floor boards, convinced now more than ever that this was nothing more than a dream....a subconscious response to her terrible homesickness. "You're still my friend, Yukishiro."

(She knows who I am!) The heart he regularly denied having sank at the lethal implications. (Dammit....This is a set up after all!) Unwilling to expose his back to the woman, he inched towards the door, expecting an ambush at any second...cursing his enemies for their calculated cruelty. (They used someone like her on purpose...knowing full well that I would fall for her kind trap and allow her to live....) The bitter irony was not lost upon him as he reached behind himself, fumbling with the locking mechanism on the warped wooden door. "I must congratulate you my dear, on your flawless performance." He snarled ferally at the pale woman "you really are quite the manipulative, little bitch."

(Now wait just a damn second...) Mara thought, no longer drowsy. While her conspiracy theory addicted friend had no qualms about lining his underwear with tin foil and insisted that mint flavored toothpaste was a secret government mind control device....he would never....ever....accuse her of being manipulative, let alone call her a bitch. (That would mean...that I'm not dreaming...) The cold that she felt when the muscular man turned and kicked open the door, was nothing compared to the icy fear that clenched her stomach as she locked her eyes on the sick, pale man being carried away. (...and that this son of a bitch is messing around with my patient !)

"Hey!" She was up on her feet and out the door, pausing only to snatch her wool coat. "Get back here!" Her heart skipped a beat as she was assaulted from all sides by icy wind and bitterly cold air. "You can't take that man out into this weather! He's terribly ill!" Mara leapt over an abandoned suitcase, sprinting towards the shorter man who for some inexplicable reason was hell bent of kidnaping her last surviving patient.

(How utterly typical...) Turquoise eyes narrowed in annoyance. (Not only do my enemies send a woman to do us in....) He looked back, torn between being seriously dismayed...and delightfully impressed when the mal tempered female effortlessly bounded over a tall fence, making no effort to conceal her long legs...or to temper the white hot obscenities that were issuing forth from her pretty mouth. (....they send a woman who can run....)

And run she could. Even with his damaged eardrum, he could hear her closing in fast...the even rhythm of her stride att odds with her impassioned (....and rather profane....) pleas that he stop....that the old man over his shoulder was dangerously sick....It was the desperate tone to her husky voice that gave him pause....made him almost wonder if he'd managed to misjudge the woman.

(Even if I have...I have to make my escape....) He could feel vibrations coming up from the street...the unmistakable sound signatures of a heavy carriage moving towards him at a dangerously rapid pace. (...while there's still time....) Fearing the worst, that approaching carriage was laden with metropolitan police, he tightened his grip on his poor father with one hand...then leapt up, barely catching an ice covered tree branch with the other. The momentum allowed him to easily swing over a tall wooden gate...and into a snow covered garden...a perfect place for a white tiger to hide.

Mara stumbled to her knees when a ferocious blast of wind tore down the cold, deserted street...tearing at her face and skirts with the mindless brutality of a late winter storm. (Where in the hell did he go?) She tried to shield her eyes from the ice laden maelstrom, to see beyond the dangerously thick curtains of snow and wind. (Where did he take the poor old man ?) She bent over, breathing raggedly....trying to catch her breath and ignore the excruciating effects of prolonged sleep deprivation. (How am I ever going to find them ?) Whether it was her terrible weariness...or the viciously high winds and mind numbing temperatures, she failed to hear the pounding sounds of shoeless hoofs on cobble stone until it was too late to do anything but scream....

"What...what's wrong?" Kaoru rubbed her eyes and sat up beside her alert husband.

"Kenshin?" She brushed a sleepy kiss on his bare shoulder, urging him to lie back down beside her.

"I'm not exactly sure..." Kenshin closed his eyes and tried to read the volatile mix of emotions that were filtering from the snow covered courtyard into his sleep fogged mind, jarring him not only from his badly needed slumber, but also from enjoying the peace that only his Kaoru could afford. He reached for his wife in the darkness, holding her naked body against his own. "I'm assuming that has Sanosuke finally decided to bring Mara back home...whether she is ready or not...." His violet eyes crinkled in amusement as he began nuzzling the soft skin behind her ear.. "I'm afraid that he is rather impatient when it comes to her well being."

Kaoru snorted and rolled to her side, pulling the warm covers up around her thin frame. "He's far too forward with her if you ask me."

"That's just his way." Kenshin murmured as he ran his fingertips along her jaw line, delighting in the deceptively fragile bone structure of his wife's face. He pulled her close, spooning up behind her...then kissed the back of her neck, gently nipping at her sensitive skin. "Besides...." Kenshin smiled as the fine hairs at her nape tickled his nose and lips. "She doesn't seem to mind."

Kaoru sighed , enjoying the erotic sensation of her husband nibbling on her earlobe. "Hmm....perhaps there's something to be said for forward men..." Her mouth dropped open with a heady mixture of shock...and delight when Kenshin reached around her slender body, cupping her bare breasts with his warm, calloused hands.

"Am I being too forward?" His voice was husky with barely restrained desire.

"No." Kaoru rolled onto her back and pulled him close, wrapping her legs around his thin waist. "Not nearly enough..."

(I don't care if she's done with work or not....) Sano flung his well worn cloak over his broad shoulders and stormed out of the dojo. (She's coming home with me come hell or high water...) He swore under his breath as he quickly made his way out of the courtyard and down the street, finding to his dismay that the winter weather had grown impossibly worse....and the temperatures unbelievably cold. (Gods....I sure hope she stayed at the hospital and didn't try to walk home in this shitty weather....) His mouth tightened into a worried line as he looked up and down the snow littered street for any sign of movement. (Who am I kidding....that damn woman is as stubborn as I am....)

He covered his mouth with his cloak, knowing that it would help him retain his body heat and prevent the bitterly cold air from burning his lungs. (She's too thin to be able to stand more than a few minutes of this...) Panic began to burrow into his stomach as he turned the corner unto one of the main streets. (...and too tired to be able take proper care of herself...) Picking up his pace, he quickly wove through the treacherous landscape of blasting wind, snow covered cobblestones and knee deep puddles filled with black, icy water. (I swear....if she's gone and done anything stupid....I'm gonna....)

Sano froze, and peered carefully through the maze of snow and ice encrusted wind. (I thought I saw something ...something red....) His brown eyes narrowed first in disbelief.....then widened with heartsick realization when he realized that the snowy form was in fact the woman he's been desperately searching for. She was lying lifelessly in the middle of the snow covered street, a street that was stained with freshly frozen blood spatters. (Oh Gods....NO !.....)

"MARA!" He bellowed as he sprinted towards the hunched over figure, terrified that he'd waited too long to come and look for her. "Mara! Answer me, dammit!" He collapsed at her side and yanked her icy body up towards his own. "C'mon babe..." His hands shook as he pushed back her unbound hair out of her white face, praying that he'd see some glimmer of life in her grey eyes.. "Don't do this to me !"

She was impossibly pale....and her skin was ice cold. (...Shit!...Shit!...Shit!...) Sanosuke ripped off his traveling cloak and wrapped it around the unresponsive woman. "Mara! Open your eyes!" He shook her harshly, desperate to rouse her up from the cold induced sleep. "Gods! Wake up...dammit...wake up!" His voice caught in the back of his throat as he looked down at her blue-grey lips....and the utter lack of color in her wind chapped cheeks. (Oh please...please don't do this to me....) Sano groaned and puller her snow stiff body tightly against his own. (Don't you dare leave me....not like this....) "DAMMIT MARA.....OPEN YOUR EYES!"

She didn't. Gripping her by the shoulders, Sanosuke shook her roughly, desperately shouting her name. (Why didn't I stay with her?) The back of his eyes began to burn with frightened, angry tears. (She was already half dead from lack of sleep....I could tell she was having a rough time...Gods! I'll never forgive myself if she...if....) Choking back a sob, he brought her colorless face up towards him, kissing her icy forehead and cheeks while he begged her open her tightly closed eyes. (If..she doesn't wake up....)

She was cold...and utterly unresponsive. A rebellious tear streaked down his stubbly face as he struggled to knit together his rapidly unraveling emotions before they fell apart. (C'mon Sagara...quit being an ass....and think....) Closing his eyes against the vision of Mara's snow stained body, he forced his mind back to the two seasons he'd spent on the Tibetan Plateau. (They know how to treat snow sickness better than anyone else....they have to considering how damn cold it is up there...) He recalled how the kind monks had brought him in from the cold...and wrapped his feet and hands with herb suffused linen. (They taught me how to take care of myself....) His eyes shot open. (How to take care of her!)

This time, as he pulled her close, he fought down his panic and looked carefully at the doctor...finding to his immense relief that she was still breathing, albeit slowly...and that despite the utter lack of coloring in her face... and the frightening amounts of congealed blood on her skirt...she still had a weak pulse. (Then there's hope.....) Sano carefully picked her up and nestled her against his chest. (I know what to do...I just need to get her home in time to do it....) He flung her badly stained duffel bag over his shoulder and began to run. (Hang in there babe....)

(That's it....) Kenshin carefully covered his wife with a blanket, trying not to give into his mounting worry. (I don't care what she says....or how hard she tries to deny it....) He bent down, pressing a tender kiss on her sweaty cheek. (Something's wrong....) He recalled the urgent, almost frantic way that Kaoru had kissed him, the tears he'd tasted on her long black lashes..and the unspoken fear he'd felt emanating from her tender heart despite the torrid tone of their lovemaking. (Something serious....)

He ran his hands through her tousled hair, trying to untangle the midnight locks...and to

forget how quickly his wife had become exhausted after loving him, how she'd fallen back against the bedding and tried to catch her breath, unable to do much more than whisper a shaky apology before falling into an uneasy slumber. (I was selfish tonight....) Kenshin briskly rubbed his bare arms...too cold and upset to fall back asleep. (I should have realized she was too weary for such things....) He glared bitterly up at the ceiling, damning himself for giving in to the most natural of desires with the woman he loved. (The worst part is that Kaoru refuses to tell me what's wrong...she just says that it will pass...that there's no cause for concern....)

Unable to resist, be lifted the sleeping woman into his arms, holding her in a tight, protective embrace. (Why can't she understand...that she is my life....?) He kissed her slightly open mouth, fighting to understand his wife's unusual silence...and to discern the reason behind it. (...Is she still angry at me?....Resentful of my leaving her when she needed me most?....Does she know something is wrong...and doesn't have the heart to tell me the bad news?)

Kenshin shook his head sharply, banishing such dark thoughts before they overwhelmed him. (No...I'm not going to do this to her...or to myself...As soon as Mara comes home and has a chance to rest, I'll ask her to examine Kaoru and make sure that nothing is amiss...) He gasped suddenly, jolted right out of his reverie by a mental jolt of fear that lanced through his weary mind like newly forged katana through tofu. (What in the name of the Gods is going on?)

Kenshin closed his eyes and tried to unravel the churning mass of emotions that were coming steadily closer towards his home and family. (It's Sanosuke....) Only his friend had such a bold, brash chi...one that never was repressed or blanketed. (He's home...with Mara...) Reaching out mentally, Kenshin tired to locate the enigmatic doctor, knowing that she too had a mental signature that was utterly unique. (Unique is an understatement....) The former manslayer smiled slightly as he broadened his search, seeking out her vibrant chi that managed to distort time itself. (In all my life...I've never felt such an aura....)

His eyes suddenly shot open with alarm when the faint sound of a man's deep voice filtered into the pitch dark bedroom. (Something's happened to her....) Kenshin gently laid his wife on the bed, then quickly fumbled around the tangled sheets looking for his discarded yukata. (I can't remember the last time I felt Sanosuke this upset....) His mouth tightened with worry as the ex-gangster called out again, begging for assistance. (...or frightened...)

"Oh...was that...Sanosuke's voice I heard?" Kaoru groaned and tried to sit up.

"Yes." Kenshin shrugged on his sleeping robe. "Unless I am very mistaken, something has happened to Dr. Mogensen....As soon as you're able...please come and..."

"Mara!" In a flash, Kaoru was on her feet and stumbling towards the door.

"Love." Kenshin said in his gentlest tone. "Perhaps you'd like to get dressed first?" He tossed his wife her own yukata.

"Oh." Kaoru blushed. "Thank you dear." Forgetting her weariness, she quickly got dressed, flashed her spouse a brilliant smile in the darkness, then slammed open the bedroom door and sprinted down the hallway, calling out for her friend. (Oh please don't let it be anything serious...) Kaoru's heart leapt up in her throat when Sano called out again, finding that the gruff pleas for assistance nearly undid her. (..I couldn't bear to lose her...) She ran down the hall towards the main entrance...then nearly screamed when Sanosuke slammed open the front door and staggered inside carrying Mara in his arms.

"Momma?" Kenji tottered down the hall. "Daddy?" He yawned and blinked his sleepy eyes, trying to figure out why his parents were up at such a late, late hour. (Mabey....Mara came home....) He grinned and clutched his worn stuffed racoon to his chest. It had been nearly a week since he'd seen his tall friend....an eternally long time for a six year old to wait. ( I bet that's it....) He wiped his cold nose on the back of his sleeve and ran down the hall, eager for a treat...a story...and most of all....a hug. "Mara!" He called out as he ran down the hall."Mara! Are you home? I missed you! "

Kenji bounded around the corner...arms outstretched in happy anticipation. "MARA!" He stumbled...then fell down, eyes wide. (Mara....) She was home...but not the way he wanted her to be. (Something happened to her....) He carefully looked at his friend, unable to understand why she was lying so quiet and still in Sanosuke's strong arms. (She looks like snow....) Kenji cocked his head nervously, wondering what could change her pale lips into such a pretty shade of blue. His heart began to race when his parents rushed over to Sanosuke and helped him set Mara down on the floor. (Something's wrong....)

"Sanosuke!" Kenshin gasped, his violet eyes wide with worry. "What in the name of the Gods happened?"

"I fucked up! That's what happened.!" Sano said harshly as he tried to undo the iced over buttons on Mara's water logged coat. "I should have stayed there with her....made sure she was okay!" He angrily brushed his eyes with the back of his sleeve, then pulled lifted the unconscious woman up into a sitting position. "Kenshin...help me with her." Sanosuke begged as he held her icy body against his own. "We've got to get her outta these clothes before he heart stops."

"Mara!" Kenji cried out, unable to bear the stressful situation a moment longer. Eyes wide and teary, the six year old sprinted over and threw himself atop the white faced doctor. "Oh! Open your eyes...please....don't be asleep." He patted her icy cheeks with his little hands, too upset to listen to his parent's pleas that he go back to bed. "Wake up...c'mon Mara...wake up!" Glancing up at his heartsick mother...then over to Sanosuke's sad, angry face he finally burst into tears, knowing in his heart that his friend was dead.

"Now..now..." Kenshin gathered his son into his arms, whispering the brave assurances that only a father could. "It's all right Son...she's only asleep."

Sanosuke pulled off Mara's coat and chucked the dripping garment behind him. "He's right kid...she's still with us." His heart sank as he took in the bone white cast to his friend's pale skin, the dirty light blue shade of Mara's open mouth....and the dull, fixed expression in her partially open grey eyes. (Barely...)

"Are you sure?" Kenji sniffled as he watched his mother struggle with the frozen laces on Mara's black boots. "She looks dead!"

"I know...but she isn't." Kenshin knelt beside the doctor, pressing his small hand against her icy throat and detecting the barest hint of a pulse. "See?" He took Mara's tightly fisted hand and gently pried open her fingers. "Do you see how her fingers go back into a fist?" He waited until his little boy nodded, then pulled his hand away, allowing Mara's fingers to curl back. "If she were dead, her muscles wouldn't contract. She's just very, very cold." Wrapping Kenji up in a comforting embrace he stood, unwilling to expose his son to such a traumatic scene for another second. "Now...I'm going to take you back to your room and tuck you into bed while Sanosuke goes into the kitchen and brews Mara some nice hot tea."

"I wanna stay here!" Kenji pouted and tried to wriggle out of his father's steel strong hug. "I need to know that she's gonna be okay!"

(You're not the only one!) Sanosuke thought as he laid Mara back down on the floor and began to fumble with her blood spattered blouse, cursing roughly as his large, calloused fingers tried to undo the ridiculously small mother of pear buttons that ran from Mara's neck to her navel. "Look Kenshin, if you wanna go and put your kid to bed that's fine...I'm going to stay right here and help Missy..."

"Sanosuke...quit arguing and go make Mara some tea!" Kaoru snapped. She tried to move Sano's hands aside, then froze when she saw the hurt, angry look in the tall man's tired eyes. "I don't think Mara would want you undressing her."

"Just what are you saying?" Sano said tightly.

"I'm trying to think about her modesty!" Kaoru said in a chastising tone as she tried to figure out how to extricate the doctor out from under several yards of water sodden petticoats.

"Yeah?" Sanosuke glared at the tiny woman, hurt that even in such a dire situation, she still didn't trust him. "Well, I'm trying to save her life!" He took several deep breaths, trying to get his frazzled temper under control.

"Why don't you just let me take care of this?" Kaoru tried to sound reasonable. "She's a

modest woman and wouldn't want to wake up and find..."

"Kaoru, I'm not going to make a pass at her for shit's sake!" Sano roared. "Dammit...I

know you don't think much of me...but do you really think that I'd try and take advantage of a woman who's half frozen and out cold ?!?"

"That's enough!" Kenshin said sharply. "This is neither the time nor the place for such a discussion." Hugging his son tightly as he walked back towards the hallway, he glanced back behind him at the bickering pair...slightly dismayed that two people who had once been as close as siblings had somehow grown apart for no apparent reason.

(Oh...there's a reason all right....) The darker side of his mind whispered softly, unwilling to stay silent any longer. (And she's lying on the floor....) Pitching his voice so that none would dare argue, Kenshin politely asked that Sanosuke once again remove himself into the kitchen and that Kaoru quickly undress the tall woman before the adverse effects of the blizzard became permanent. (My wife views Mara as a cherished sister.....And Sano.....) With a knowing eye, Kenshin watched as the brown haired man reached down and carefully brushed a curl away from the young doctor's face...then angrily rose and stormed into the kitchen. (....Sano views her as his mate....)

(How dare she ?!?) Sano seethed as he furiously stoked the small kitchen fire, finding that the heat of the flames were no match for the white hot anger in his heart. (She thinks that I would......) He snarled silently and willed the water to boil. (...that I could...) It was unbearable for him...enduring Kaoru's unspoken condemnation and fruitless fears. (...dishonor a woman that I'd die to protect...)

Leaning against the wall, he closed his eyes, struggling to endure the unfair judgement of a woman who was anything but unjust. (I don't understand....she's always been so forgiving...) He'd seen her find the strength despite a broken heart to follow Kenshin to Kyoto, look past an icy ninja's wrath and pain and see the good man within, embrace a broken sobbing man on a beach, giving her enemy a treasured journal in the hopes that it would begin to heal his damaged soul. (Why won't she give me the same chance?)

Sanosuke's eyes shimmered with frustration. (Only the Gods know how hard I've tried to make things right....) Since meeting the black haired physician, he'd never allowed himself to step beyond the strict boundaries of their unorthodox friendship...never given in to the dear desires of his heart...or the increasingly powerful demands of his body. (I wanted to show her...Kaoru...myself...that I've become a good man...one who deserves a second chance to regain lost trust....) He looked down at his bandaged hand, remembering the care and tenderness Mara had shown him despite her fatigue. (...and the hope of earning a good woman's regard....)

"Sanosuke?" Kaoru's tired voice jolted him from his thoughts. "How is the tea coming?"

"Uh..almost done." He bent over the simmering pot, trying to gauge the temperature. "I'm gonna need something sweet though to add to it." Sanosuke stood and began rummaging through the canisters and boxes, determined to put aside his hurt feelings and wounded pride for Mara's sake. "I don't suppose you have a jar of honey...or some sweetening syrup hiding somewhere?"

Kaoru paused and looked towards the lamp lit kitchen. "Yes. There's a small jar of imported honey in the pantry. Tae gave it to me to try." She winced as the sound of something shattering on the floor reverberated through the quiet house.

"Oops." Sano's voice sounded sheepish. "Sorry bout that."

"Why do you need the honey for?" Kaoru wondered patiently as she pulled off the last of the petticoats.

"Beats the hell outta me...I just know it helps warm a person up." Sano muttered as he tried to pour the scalding hot water into a tipsy porcelain tea cup. (C'mon Sagara....don't spill...)

"Well, don't add too much...you know Mara likes her tea straight." (And I like my kitchen in one piece....) She groaned when the ex-fighter yelled, and dropped what she assumed was a another tea cup on her freshly mopped floor.

"Are you all right in there?" Kaoru asked testily as she tried to undo the ridiculously small buttons that graced Mara's linen blouse. (Gods...why couldn't she have chosen something that isn't so damn difficult to take of ?) "

"Yeah...sure...no worries." Sano blew on his burned fingers, trying to keep his manly composure together. (That hurt!) He glanced down at the broken tea cups and puddles of hot water and inwardly groaned. (So much for making a good impression in the kitchen....) "I'll be done in just a minute."

"Take your time....I'm afraid that you're going to have to boil some more water." Kaoru carefully peeled off the torn pantaloons from Mara's long, pale legs, sucking in her breath when she saw that her friend's left knee was terribly swollen and bleeding badly from a jagged gash that extended from her upper thigh to her knee.. "I've got a leg in here that needs to be cleaned and sewed before infection sets in!"

The kitchen became suddenly still. "How bad is it?"

Kaoru pulled off the blood clotted bandages and grimaced. "Bad." She gingerly pressed her fingers against the torn and bleeding tissue. "She's got a deep cut on her leg and it looks like her knee has been jarred from the socket." (Mara, you idiot, why didn't you wait for someone to come and walk you home ?!?)

"You'd better have Kenshin take a look at that." Sano called out as he began heating more water. "Deep wounds are the most dangerous."

"Take a look at what?" Kenshin asked as he hurried down the hallway. He paused first, making sure that his wife had time to properly cover the doctor with a blanket before he began to examine her injured leg. Bending down, he looked carefully at the terrible bruise that was forming on the side of Mara's knee and thigh. "It looks as though she was either struck by something....or fell from a high distance." He frowned and ran his slender hands along the woman's legs, checking carefully for any signs of broken bones.

"Love?" Kenshin said quietly, not wanting to disturb his friend in the kitchen. "Would you please check and see if Dr. Mogensen has any other injuries that we're not aware of?" He indicated the doctor's blanket covered torso.

Kaoru nodded and reached under the blanket, fumbling slightly with the multitude of buttons on her friend's lacy camisole. "Did you get Kenji to bed all right?"

Kenshin stood up and looked away when his wife was forced to push the blanket aside. "Yes...after promising him that he can check on Dr. Mogensen first thing in the morning." Despite the serious situation, the small man smiled.

"Oh!" Kaoru gasped and quickly covered up Mara, too shocked and upset to keep silent.

"Love...what's wrong?" Kenshin turned slightly towards his wife.

Kaoru looked up at him with a confused angry expression, gripping the blanket tightly in her small, sword calloused hands. "Kenshin...I...think there's something that you need to see."

"She has other injuries, doesn't she?" Kenshin bent down beside his suddenly pale wife, fearing the worst.

"Yes...but they are...well..." Kaoru sighed and carefully pulled down the blanket. "Are these what I think they are?"

Kenshin stared down at Mara's exposed chest, his expression changing from one of deep concern to protective anger. (Dear Gods....what happened to her?) He reached out and carefully ran his hand over a massive scar that covered the left side of the woman's lower abdomen. In his life, he had seen more scars than any man should...and knew what caused those marks of suffering. (But these...these are different...) His violet eyes narrowed as he examined the other scar that radiated out from Mara's left shoulder and down her slender arm like a macabre spider's web. (Even Kanryuu's gattling gun didn't do this sort of damage....) The ex-assassin ran a finger over the puckered scars, and shook his head, slightly hurt that Mara had kept such a thing from them. (We of all people would understand about scarring....)

"Hey Missy...are you about finished?" Sano poked his head into the room, tea in hand.

He tapped his foot impatiently, called out again to an unusually silent Kaoru, then turned his attention to Kenshin, noticing with concern that the smaller man's face had become pale...and

that the former manslayer was pressing a slender hand against the cross shaped scar that marred his delicate features..

"Hey...what's up?" He asked again...then walked over and without thinking, looked down at Mara's exposed torso...and nearly died. "What the hell!" He croaked. (This can't be !!!) He bent down, looking at what appeared to be a large exit wound that marred the milky whiteness of Mara's abdomen, radiating towards her left hip in a hatefully perfect pattern. (There has to be another explanation....) His confusion grew as he continued to examine the woman's bare skin, finding to his horror...and rapidly returning anger that there was a similar wound that covered her left shoulder.

"This isn't possible !" Sano knelt down, put the tea on the floor, then carefully pulled Mara up into a sitting position, whispering a heartfelt apology when the movement caused his friend to cry out in her sleep and try to pull away. He closed his eyes as he ran his hand over her exposed back, finding the entry wounds that he'd been dreading. (But it is....) He suddenly felt sick. (Someone shot her...twice...)"What the hell happened ? I...I...don't understand." It made no sense. She was a doctor....and a woman to boot. "Where in the hell would she have been exposed to such dangerous conditions ?" He paused and ran his hand back over the terrible scars. (Why didn't she tell me ?) The unanswered question only made him more upset.

"I don't know." Kenshin whispered, mapping the trajectory of the bullets in his mind. "What troubles me...is that she was shot at very close range." He looked down at the massive exit wounds that marred the perfection of the woman's alabaster skin. "...and in the back...."

"If I ever find the bastard that did this to her...." Sanosuke snarled as he clenched his massive hands into murderous fists. "I'll rip him apart !" He tried to clamp down on the murderous wave of fury that was threatening to overtake him. (Someone hurt her...tried to kill her!...) His heart pounded loudly in his head. (Why?!?)

"Try and stay calm." Kenshin said quietly, catching Sanosuke by the wrist. "I know that you're angry and upset." He looked over at his wife and sighed, seeing in her brilliant blue eyes the same outrage and confusion that he himself was struggling to contain. "We all are....but our questions will have to wait until Dr. Mogensen is awake....and out of danger."

Sanosuke reached over and grabbed mara's damp medical bag and angrily began rummaging through its contents. "She should have told us....we would have understood!" He pulled out several yards of linen, a nearly empty container of healing salve and a small surgeon's kit, complete with needles and thread.

"This is true." Kenshin conceded. "But unless I am sadly mistaken, this woman has had precious little experience dealing with people of an understanding nature." He looked over at Sanosuke, hoping that the tall man would understand what he was trying to say. "Think about the way she reacts when she thinks that you are upset....or disappointed." He rose to his feet and walked towards the kitchen, intent on getting a pan of heated water. "She has scars Sano...scars that go far deeper and are of a far more serious nature that the ones that mar her body."

Sanosuke looked down at the Mara's delicate face and sighed. "The other day...she thought I was angry at her...that I didn't like the clothing she bought me for my birthday." He tenderly brushed back a wayward curl from the woman's face, then looked over at Kaoru. "She acted like I was gonna yell at her...or...even hit her." His voice dropped to a miserable rumble. "Do you know how badly that hurt...seeing the fear in her eyes, knowing that I had somehow managed to scare her?"

"Sano...I..." Kaoru stammered. "You don't need to say anything...I know that you'd never.." She looked away, suddenly ashamed of her mistrustful behavior earlier that evening.

"No...you don't." Sanosuke whispered gruffly as he tenderly examined each of Mara's white toes and fingers. "And that....makes it worse." He blinked angrily, trying to keep his tattered emotions in check. "I'm no gentleman...I never have been, and by the Gods I probably never will be." Sanosuke looked right at Kaoru. "But I swear....as a man...and on the friendship we once had....that I've never....NEVER done anything to warrant Mara's fear...or your own mistrust." His eyes burned with a heartbreaking mixture of blatant honesty and deep regret. "I would die before dishonoring a woman....especially one that...that...." He bent his head, unable to continue.

(A woman that you love....) Kaoru's thoughts were thick with unshed tears. She watched as the ex-gangster carefully bandaged the tall woman's toes and feet...touched at the tenderness she saw in his battle scarred hands....and deeply hurt at his assertion that she was no longer one whom he considered a friend. (Why shouldn't he think that ?....) She bit her bottom lip and tried to focus on getting Mara dressed in a sleeping robe. (I've treated him with far too much contempt...and shown him far too little forgiveness....)

"Did...did you love her?" Kaoru forced herself to ask the question...to mention the name that had hung between their friendship like a burial shroud. "Did you love Megumi?"

"With all my heart." It was no more than a painful whisper in the lamp lit room, a painful acknowledgment of an unbearable loss.

"And Mara?" Kaoru leaned forward, trying to keep her voice steady. "Do you love her as well?"

Sanosuke shuddered as though he'd been run through with a sword. He lifted his eyes hesitantly towards the woman he'd long regarded as a younger sister, unsure why she was asking such painful questions at such an importune time. "You know I do." (That's why you've gone out of your way to keep us apart...to let me know in no uncertain terms that you'd rather see Mara paired up with a swamp adder rather than risking herself to a man like me....)

Kaoru loosely tied Mara's yukata, unable to meet Sanosuke's unflinching gaze.(Is it possible that I've misjudged him ?) She fixed her weary eyes on the floor, terribly aware that in her attempts to deal with an impossible situation nearly seven years before....she had reluctantly assumed the worse about the jobless fighter...allowing her biases against his background and in favor of Megumi's gender to cloud her mind and heart to the underlying truth of the matter. (I didn't know what to think...what to do...) In Kaoru's mind, no honorable woman could possibly lie about such a thing....nor would any decent man willingly admit to succumbing to base passions and engaging in unmarried sexual congress with an intoxicated woman.

(Oh...but he did....at least he tried to....) Sanosuke had been desperate to explain himself...telling her in his typical blunt manner that in a moment of weakness, he had messed everything up with the cinnamon eyed beauty...allowing a night of alcohol tinged lovemaking to break his heart, earn a woman's hatred and ruin a hard won friendship. (He wept right in front of me...begged me to help him make things right with Megumi....with me) Shame nipped at her heart as she remembered her utter lack of compassion at such a critical moment. (I told him he was no longer a man I could trust...that I wanted him to stay away until things could be sorted out...) Little had she known that the seven year separation would have occurred so soon after that conversation...or would span several continents. (I never had the chance to consider his side of the story...or to apologize for my harsh words and unkind manners....)

Still....one had to be careful. (I've learned in the passing years that even the best men can make mistakes....harm the ones they love...) She glanced quickly over at her husband, and wondered if Kenshin knew the depths of the devastation he had wrought on her heart and mind with his long absences and perpetual self exile. (He was so intent on finding his own redemption...that he was willing to abandon his family and break my heart...) She instinctively put one hand on her still taunt stomach and thought of the tiny life growing withing her damaged womb. (Even now...after more than a year with him by my side...my fear of being abandoned again or losing this precious little one within me is strong enough to keep me silent...)

Her sad blue eyes drifted back to the tall man, kneeling beside her. (I heard him scream at Megumi...I saw where her nails raked across his face....the terrible anger in his eyes as he pressed his arm up against her throat...) The memory alone caused her to feel ill and frightened. (I wish it had been Kenshin who had burst into that damn clinic...unlike me...he would have known instantly who was telling the truth...and who was willing to lie about such a terrible act....) But fate...and the mental agony of Enishi's Jinchuu had decreed otherwise. (Kenshin could barely walk...barely eat....the weight of such a discovery would have broken his heart...) She sighed and tried to smooth out a wrinkle in her yukata. (...and so I never told him...never confessed my fears to a man who is far wiser than I'll ever be...)

"I'm...sorry." She was unsure whether the unsteady apology was intended for Kenshin...for Sanosuke or for herself.

"Just forget about it...okay?" Sanosuke grumbled as he carefully wrapped Mara up in a blanket, taking extreme care not to touch her injured leg with the coarse woolen fabric.

"Sorry for the delay." Kenshin called out as he silently stepped out from the kitchen. "There was a slight mess that needed cleaning up." (Three broken teacups, an overturned cannister of tea and a minor flood on the kitchen floor....) He smiled blandly, knowing that his absence had also given Kaoru and Sanosuke time to hopefully begin to work out their differences. (It has pained me to see them at odds....) Kenshin bent down and carefully began to clean Mara's leg, making sure that he didn't allow a drop of bloody water to stain her yukata. (...especially over a mutual friend....)

In moments, her knee was clean and dry...and ready for sewing. "Kaoru, as soon as I force her knee back into place, I'm going to begin sewing." Kenshin said quietly. "Sanosuke..hold her tightly. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if this rouses her in a rather unpleasant manner."

"I understand." Sano nodded grimly, wrapping his powerful arms around the slender woman. (Dammit babe....just sleep through this...don't make this any harder than it is....)

Kenshin carefully positioned his strong hands around the damaged knee and took a deep breath. "Are you ready?" Kaoru and Sanosuke nodded.

With a sickening pop Kenshin forced the battered limb back into its proper place, wincing inwardly when his actions caused Mara to stiffen...and scream raggedly with pain.

Grey eyes slammed open with shock as white hot pain radiated up an already inflamed leg. "Gods!" Mara screamed, too disorientated to realize where she was...and whom she was with. "Get the hell away from me!" She tried to kick...to twist...to do anything but lie there in helpless agony. Snarling ferally she threw herself backwards, desperate to escape from the madly spinning world that had so abruptly replaced her snow soaked dreams.

"Dammit Mara...hold still!" Sano ordered. "You're home...and safe. Kenshin's trying to fix your leg!" He winced as the fragile looking woman slammed her head into his jaw, making him see stars.

"Mara...it's us!" Kaoru caught her friend by the hand, shocked that the normally reserved woman was cursing violently and doing her level best to kick Kenshin in the face with her uninjured leg. "You've got to hold still...you've been hurt!"

"Shit Kenshin! Watch her toes!" Sano cautioned as the tall woman nearly knocked him over. "She's got frostbite of four of em!"

"I'm working on it." Kenshin said calmly as the doctor's powerful leg missed his ear by mere inches. "Perhaps you should hold her down a little more tightly until the disorientation passes?"

"Why is she doing this?" Kaoru cried as she tried to keep Mara's injured knee from popping back out of the socket.

"She's got snow sickness." Sano snapped as he slapped his hand over the screaming woman's mouth and pushed her gently to the floor. "She doesn't recognize us....and won't until her body warms up a bit more."

"Let me go!" Mara hissed, unable to focus on the blurry forms that were causing her such pain. Her ice numbed senses were screaming gibberish....sending her groggy mind conflicting signals...and allowing primal fears to run rampant through her adrenalin enhanced blood stream. She bucked hard against one form in particular, a tall powerful shape that seemed intent on holding her down. "You bastard! Get your fucking hands off of me!" She bit down hard against a muscular palm, finding dark satisfaction when she tasted the metallic tang of blood on her tongue.

"Kenshin can't sew her up like this!" Kaoru whispered frantically. "Do something!"

"Like what?" Sanosuke growled, trying to keep Mara from shouting without getting bitten again. "It's not like I can clobber her with a right hook or anything!" He jerked his bleeding hand away from the incensed woman and tried to think. "I don't suppose there's any spare anesthesia in that damn medical bag?"

"No..she used it all at the clinic." Kenshin panted as he pinned Mara's unhurt leg with his body. "If we can't keep her still she's going to seriously injure herself!"

"You've got to let me go!" Even in the throes of hypothermic delirium Mara grasped desperately at the straws of reason. Blinking wearily at the half shadowed shapes that were swimming before her ice damaged eyes she tried not to give into terror. "He's waiting for me...he'll come looking soon." She reached down and dug her fingers into the wooden floor, praying that the pain of wood splinters under her fingernails would keep the vertigo at bay. "...if he finds that you've harmed me....he'll rip you apart..." The thought made her tremble. "..they'll take him away..." She chocked back a sob and gazed wildly up at the distorted creatures. "...and I'll lose him..." Her panic subsided slightly when she felt a strong...but gentle hand touch her face ...bidding softly that she be calm.

"You're not going to lose anyone." Sano bent down and tenderly cupped Mara's trembling face, humbled that even in her delirious state, she was thinking of him. "Easy now...it's all right." He motioned to Kenshin to release the woman's legs, hoping that this particularly risky gamble would pay off. "I'm right here..." Pitching his voice until it was a soothingly deep croon, he laid down beside the doctor, giving her the space she needed without putting her further at risk for injury. "You're home and safe..."

"Sano?" Mara turned towards the blessedly familiar voice...desperate for any solid reassurance. "What's wrong with me ?" She closed her eyes against the ragged shapes and spinning lamp light, focusing only on the deep but badly distorted voice of her friend. "I....I..can't see...you...and your voice...sounds so strange..." She clumsily reached out...searching for and finding a warm calloused hand. "I'm...so...cold...and my leg.." Her voice cracked. "...There's something wrong with my leg..."

"You're gonna be just fine." Sanosuke whispered, holding Mara's cold hand tightly in his own. "Kenshin and Kaoru are here with me....they're trying to sew up your poor knee before it gets infected."

"Kaoru?" Mara's speech was slurred and slow. "You should be...in bed...resting." She tried to sit up. "You...have to be careful!..." She collapsed back on her elbows, too exhausted to even sit up (You've got to take care of your baby....)

"I'm fine." Kaoru whispered as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Just lie still....please." She took Mara's other hand and kissed it. "We're so glad that you're home...and safe."

"That we are." Kenshin said softly, thankful that a combination of Sano's quick thinking and Mara's innate intelligence had been enough to forestall any further injury to the young doctor. "Mara...your right knee is seriously injured and in need of medical attention. I've managed to get the knee back into its proper place...but you have a serious wound that requires stitching." His face fell as he looked into her clouded grey eyes. (She can't see us...and is relying only on the sounds of our voices...) "I need you to try and help me....tell me what to do."

Mara swallowed hard and tried to force her ice addled mind into a more scientific mode. "How...deep is it?" Strong tremors began radiating from her lower back and legs, causing her entire body to shake uncontrollably.

"Nearly to the bone." Kenshin said with as little emotion as possible. "I'm concerned about infection settling into the damaged tissue."

"The coldness...should help....a little." She whispered, trying not to roll up into a miserable shivering ball. "In..my..bag...is a glass bottle with a green label. Pour it into the wound, allowing full saturation."

Kenshin nodded and quickly found the appropriate bottle. He carefully opened the vial, then sniffed gingerly. "Doctor, this is rubbing alcohol!"

Mara tried to smile. "It's all I have left. Pour it on the wound...wait thirty seconds..then start sewing." She took several deep breaths, trying to mentally prepare for the ordeal. "Make sure the needle has been heat sterilized as well."

"This is gonna hurt like hell." Sano warned sadly, knowing that it had to be done nevertheless. "Is there anything I can do to help ya?"

Even as cold as she was...Mara managed to blush. "Would...would you mind holding me...just in case?" Her sluggish heartbeat quickened when the man gave his assent and picked her up, cradling her gently against his muscular chest.

"Put your arms around me Mara and close your eyes." Sano said firmly. "Keep em shut until I say so." He looked down at the white faced woman, dreading what was about to occur.

"Don't worry...I'll be fine." Mara tried to reassure her friend. "Besides...it's not like I can see a damn thing anyway." She wrapped her unsteady arms around Sano's strong neck and tried to be still.

"Are you ready?" Kaoru said quietly, positioning the bottle of alcohol above the deep gash on Mara's leg. She waited until the doctor nodded slightly, then turned to her husband waiting for his signal.

"Sanosuke. Cover her mouth." Kenshin said firmly. "I don't want Kenji to hear this."

"I won't scream." Mara protested softly until she tried to move her injured leg and nearly burst into tears. "On second thought....cover my mouth."

"You gonna bite me this time?" Sano half teased, impressed with the woman's bravery.

"I might." Mara snapped as she screwed her eyes shut. "Do it...before I change my mind."

Kaoru took a deep breath...then began to pour.

For a millisecond, Mara was able to withstand the pain....then it began to burn. (Gods...it hurts...) She took a shuddering breath, trying to ignore the sensation of rubbing alcohol washing over raw, exposed nerve endings..setting her skin and blood on fire. (...it hurts...) Her muscles began to involuntarily spasm...unable to escape the ungodly pain. (...IT HURTS !!!!...)

(C'mon babe...) Sanosuke pulled Mara tightly against him, pressing his hand tightly against her clammy mouth. (Hang in there...) He could tell she was in terrible pain by the way her hands fisted spasmodically into his gi...and the involuntary shudders that rolled down her thin body like waves. (Still...she's keeping her promise to Kenshin....) He groaned when the poor woman shuddered against him...and the first hot tears spilled out of her wide agonized eyes onto his hand. (She isn't screaming....Hell...she isn't making a sound...)

(Think of Kenji...think of Kenji....) Mara threw her head back and silently sobbed, refusing to give into the desire to scream and run away from the terrible pain. (He's a baby....needs to sleep....can't scare him...) She could feel every inch of her leg....could smell the pungent mixture of her blood mixing with the alcohol...could taste the bile rising in her throat and the tears pooling at the corner of her mouth. (Think of Kenji....think of Kenji...think....) A strange tugging sensation began to pull her mind apart...sending her tumbling back down towards the dark pit of shock induced sleep.

(I can't do this to her....) Sanosuke felt wretched. (Kenshin should stop...give her a break....wait till tomorrow....) He looked over at the red headed man...and found to his dismay that the ex-swordsman was about to begin sewing up the ragged pieces of torn tissue. "Hold on to me sweetheart...just hold on."

Mara turned and buried her face in the crook of Sano's neck, knowing what was about to happen. (It needs to be done....) She stiffened with shock when he felt the heated needle pass through the individual dermal layers...and down...down into muscle...right near her bones. (Oh SHIT....shit...shit....) It was all she could do not to scream...not to weep....not to pass right out into blessed oblivion. (I can't do this...it's too much....it hurts....) Mara couldn't breathe...couldn't think....couldn't exist beyond each agonizing stitch.

"Dammit man...hurry!" Sano hissed as he tried to rub Mara's trembling back...hold her closer...anything to ease her suffering.

"I have to do this carefully!" Kenshin said tightly, trying to feel his way around the complex muscle groups that made up a human leg. "The wound is deep and if I am sloppy in my stitching she'll get an infection and possibly lose her leg...or her life!" He hardened his heart against the sight of Mara in so much pain...and focused instead on her steely courage, knowing that she struggled to keep silent for the sake of his sleeping son.

"He's almost finished Mara." Kaoru said softly as she wiped the other woman's sweat soaked brow. "Just a few more minutes...and it will be over." She covered her mouth with her hands when Mara turned and looked at her, horrified to see that the doctor had nearly bitten through her bottom lip with her even white teeth in the attempt not to make a sound...and that thin mixture of blood and tears were running in between Sanosuke's fingers. "Oh Kenshin...hurry...hurry!"

Mara shook her head angrily, jerking away from Sanosuke's hand. "No!" She panted, keeping her voice below the level of a whisper. "He needs to do it right!" She narrowed her eyes, trying to focus on the slender man causing her so much pain. "Take your time...I will manage!" With that curt encouragement she turned back and pressed her face against Sanosuke..trying mightily not to sob.

"You're doing a hell of a job hanging in there." Sano whispered proudly into her hair. His heart tightened painfully as he watched her pale face become chalky white and felt her already cool skin become cold...and clammy. (Her poor body can't take much more of this...) Knowing that his friend was about to pass out, he held her tightly...counting the seconds until she was no longer in such pain.

"Sanosuke..." Mara groaned, shaking too badly too speak. Her world was shrinking again...spinning slowly around a inky abyss that was threatening to consume her. (I can't breathe...can't think! ) Her strong mind suddenly recoiled against the darkness, preferring agony to oblivion.

Sano swore when Mara began to shudder violently against him. "Dammit Mara, if you don't hold still you're gonna get hurt!" He tilted her weary face up...then gasped when he realized that the proud, stoic doctor was silently weeping "Aww...Babe...". (I forget sometimes....) His brown eyes softened....and his tight grip around her trembling body became kind and gentle. (...that she isn't as tough as she pretends to be....) "I'm right here...you're safe...." He whispered, watching as her snow blind eyes tracked the sound of his low voice.

Mara gasped and opened her mouth in a silent scream when she felt the tip of the needle graze against bone...and whispered frantically for her friend...knowing she was nearing the end of her endurance. "Sano." His name emerged as a ragged moan, no louder than a painful whisper. "Help me..." She clutched frantically at Sanosuke's back, unaware that her nails were digging into the sensitive skin."It hurts!"

"I know it does." Sanosuke's jaw tightened when Kenshin tied a silken knot in his grisly handiwork. (Thank the Gods, we're almost finished....) He sighed with relief when Kaoru cut the black thread and positioned the half empty bottle of alcohol above the jagged stitches, knowing that the fiery pain that would soon engulf his friend was a blessing in disguise. (...The second that alcohol hits her knee, it'll be all over....) "Hold me tightly Mara....." He ordered, smiling grimly as he felt her trembling arms wrap around waist. "That's it Love...hold me tight."

Kaoru watched in amazement as the gruff fighter bent down and carefully covered Mara's mouth for the second time that evening, whispering soft endearments as he prepared his friend for this final ordeal. (I never knew....he could be so gentle...) Her own eyes welled up when Sanosuke brushed his thumb over Mara's bleeding lip, trying to rid the pale skin of the bloodstains. (So kind...) Kaoru looked away from the tender couple...and made a choice. (He's not the man he was seven years ago.....) Fighting against the urge to close her eyes, she began to pour, wincing when Mara took a shuddering breath....then went limp in the ex-gangster's embrace, knowing that her friend's silence was dearly purchased indeed. (...and she's not Megumi....)

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Author's rants...and ramblings

Here is some more information on what Enishi was thinking about concerning traditional Japanese Funeral Rites.

Matsugo-no-mizu : Water of the last moment

1. Giving water to the deceased in hopes of his/her revival. Prepare a new writing brush or splittable chopsticks, cover its and with sanitary cotton in water by which thread and then soak the sanitary cotton in water by which the lip of the deceased is moistened

Shinishozoku : A dress for a journey to eternity

1. The deceased is put on so called a grave clothes, a hood and a money pouch containing six pieces of money. This costume has a close resemblance to the traveling outfit in old days. So the SHINISHOZOKU can be regarded as the costume for starting on a journey to eternity. The six pieces of money in the pouch are said to be used as ferriage for crossing Japanese Styx.

Kitamakura : Turning the dead person's head to the north

1. According to the teaching how Buddha entered Nirvana, the dead person s head is turned to the north. If the body cannot be headed to the north for a certain reason, it may be turned to the west.

And, for your reading pleasure...some insight on the treatment and symptoms of hypothermia. (Courtesy of Princeton University)

Hypothermia- "a decrease in the core body temperature to a level at which normal muscular and cerebral functions are impaired." - Medicine for Mountaineering

Conditions Leading to Hypothermia

Cold temperatures, Improper clothing and equipment , Wetness , Fatigue, exhaustion , Dehydration , Poor food intake , No knowledge of hypothermia , Alcohol intake - causes vasodilator leading to increased heat loss

4. Signs and Symptoms of Moderate to Severe Hypothermia (this is what Mara was suffering from)

Moderate Hypothermia - core temperature 95 - 93 degrees F

Dazed consciousness, Loss of fine motor coordination - particularly in hands - can't zip up parka, due to restricted peripheral blood flow

Slurred speech , Violent shivering , Irrational behavior - Paradoxical Undressing - person starts to take off clothing, unaware s/he is cold

"I don't care attitude" - flattened affect

Severe Hypothermia - core temperature 92 - 86 degrees and below (immediately life threatening)

Shivering occurs in waves, violent then pause, pauses get longer until shivering finally ceases - because the heat output from burning glycogen in the muscles is not sufficient
to counteract the continually dropping core temperature, the body shuts down on shivering to conserve glucose

Person falls to the ground, can't walk, curls up into a fetal position to conserve heat

Muscle rigidity develops - because peripheral blood flow is reduced and due to lactic acid and CO2 buildup in the muscles

Skin is pale , Pupils dilate , Pulse rate decreases , at 90 degrees the body tries to move into hibernation, shutting down all peripheral blood flow and reducing breathing rate and heart rate. A 86 degrees the body is in a state of "metabolic icebox." The person looks dead but is still alive.

5. How to Assess if someone is Hypothermic

If shivering can be stopped voluntarily = mild hypothermia

Ask the person a question that requires higher reasoning in the brain (count backwards from 100 by 9's). If the person is hypothermic, they won't be able to do it. [Note: there are also other conditions such as altitude sickness that can also cause the same condition.]

If shivering cannot be stopped voluntarily = moderate - severe hypothermia

If you can't get a radial pulse at the wrist it indicates a core temp below 90 - 86 degrees

The person may be curled up in a fetal position. Try to open their arm up from the fetal position, if it curls back up, the person is alive. Dead muscles won't contract only live muscles.

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I don't own, nor did I create any of the RK Characters. I DO however have dubs on all the ORIGINAL CHARACTERS in this story, including..but not limited to Mara Mogensen, Erik Reynolds and our favorite English Snake in the Grass, Edward Thornton.

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