Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ As Time Goes By ❯ Priorites (Part 2) ( Chapter 2 )

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Rurouni Kenshin is the exclusive property of Nobuhiro Watsuke and associated parties. The characters and are used as an expression of fan appreciation for the non-profit purpose of entertainment only and do not necessarily represent the viewpoint of the above listed entities. Original portions of this story (Including...but not limited to the character of Dr. Mara Mogensen) are the copyright of the author. This is a fictional story and any similarity with person(s) living or dead is entirely coincidental.

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AS TIME GOES BY

Chapter 2

The Following Morning

What was left of the night passed silently. As the stars made their celestial journey across the dark sky, the inhabitants of the house slept, or at least tried to. One man had blood soaked dreams, where macabre images of death, sorrow, and loss slammed through his mind's eye with their usual ferocity, depriving him of hope and peace, promising a damned eternity without hope of atonement or the love of the one whom he held most dear, a dream intense enough to leave him pale and shaking in the predawn gloom. A grey eyed woman slept fitfully, the events of the previous evening warping into a nightmarish scene. She was dying, her throat ripped apart without a second thought . Sometimes, instead of her death, it was her husband who was dying, though in a manner far more brutal than any human being should endure. As she held his broken body in her arms, she wrenched her head back and screamed, the sound waking her instantly. In another room, a little boy tossed and turned, trying to escape with his mother from a yellow eyed monster, who one moment was ready to eat them and then in a flash was a small gentle man who took him on walks and tried to teach him to fish. He whimpered in his sleep, reaching out vainly for a hand to hold. And finally, a mother and wife dreamt. Her visions, unlike the others were of a more gentle nature.....the sensations of a child moving in her womb, the pain and joy of giving birth, the safety and desire she felt when she was lying in arms of her husband as they made love. (Kenshin....) The name was whispered over and over again, prayer like in its tone, a plea for a man who she loved and had lost....and now was losing again.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru's eyes snapped open, her dark blue iris's nearly hidden by black pupils. As they adjusted to the dimly lit bedroom she saw her husband next to her bed, crouched in a sitting position that she knew from experience meant his mind and heart were in turmoil. The unconscious clenching of his fists and the slight groans that filtered up from his chest confirmed her suspicion that he was having nightmares.(Even now, after all these years....a simple night's rest is denied him) Kaoru sighed and leaned over, gently wrapping her arms around the man's slim shoulders, whispering soft words to soothe the damage away.

"Shhhh....It's all right. You're safe, Kenshin." She murmured, willing him to relax, to simply rest from the mental prison that a life time of pain had built. The gradual loosening of muscles told her that it was working. After a few minutes, even her husband's breathing slowed to a normal level, indicating that the nightmare was over, that he had entered a dreamless state of sleep that would rejuvenate his body. (It's not his body that needs rest....)

Kaoru carefully drew away, hoping not to wake him. She felt tired and sore, especially in her belly. (Oh, please let the baby be all right...please!) A slender white hand passed over the barely detectable bulge, as if to banish any harm from the child within. She looked over at her husband again and sadly smiled. (He needs to know...It's only a matter of time before it becomes obvious that I am carrying his child. Another child that will grow up without a father....)

Since he gave his sword to Yahiko two years earlier, Kenshin had been away from home on a nearly constant basis, working for....no...being manipulated by a government that he had nearly destroyed himself to help create. Kaoru shook her head (Even now, he is nothing more than a pawn.... a tool for them to move as they will without thought of his safety or the needs of his family.) The results of his long absences were obvious, at least to Kaoru. Kenji couldn't stand his father, viewing him as an interloper who disrupted his sense of security and vied for the time and affections of his remaining parent. His response to this latest homecoming had been heartbreaking, she remembered the hurt look in Kenshin's eyes as the boy refused to even hug him, crying out in that he wanted this man to go away and not come back.. (How will I manage another one ? I can barely take care of Kenji and myself as is.)

Kaoru knew that as the pregnancy progressed, she would be unable to keep up her rigorous teaching schedule. Yahiko had promised of course, to shoulder the load, but she knew that it would be too much for the seventeen year old to handle on his own. (I was his age when I met Kenshin...It seems like a lifetime ago!) She quietly laughed, remembering her insane attempt to confront the infamous Battosai, and the results of her impetuous actions, the glib way she had assured the man that his past didn't matter, that what was done was done. Her laugh turned into a sob as the reality of her situation came back to her (What a fool I was! Kenshin's past still controls him today, and always will - no matter the toll it takes on himself or those who love him)

She loved her husband dearly, and knew that in spite of what was happening, she always would. Her feelings for him had changed over the years, from the innocent ardor of a young girl to the more experienced love of a woman, a woman now familiar with the joys and sorrows that being with Kenshin mandated. She now realized that despite her best attempts to bring the man peace and love, it would never be enough to rid him of the guilt and pain of another era. He would always be searching for a way to atone, to make things right with the numerous souls he had slain as a boy. (Even at the expense of a child and wife..he will continue searching for the rest of his life) Kaoru covered her face and silently wept. (It's not fair! He has done so much, sacrificed himself over and over again...and for what? A half life with a family that he never sees, an unending cycle of tearful farewells and painful reunions!) She brought her knees up to her chest, trying to ignore the ripples of pain that were radiating through her body, and cried. She wept for the loss of her illusions, that her love wasn't enough to make a broken man whole, that her children would never have a father who loved them enough to be there for them, and she wept for herself, afraid that she wouldn't have the strength to endure a lifetime of losing him over and over again.

Kenshin watched her silently as she wept. He had, at the first gentle whisper of his name, been awake.....battle trained senses alert the instant his wife touched him, saving him from the nightmares that had tormented him, visions of a shrouded, withered Kaoru, dead from disease and his neglect....images of his little boy attacking him, the child's eyes red with battle lust and hate...the sickening sound of vertebrae snapping as he killed a woman for daring to utter the name of his dead wife. (No! It was a dream, nothing more...) He inhaled deeply, harnessing the iron control of his will to stop the images from replaying in his mind. (It was a dream.) The dark thoughts instantly vanished, leaving him with the sounds of his wife weeping.

In the nearly eight years that he had known this woman, he had never seen, nor felt such sorrow from her. It was a palpable presence, radiating out and encompassing him with unfiltered feelings of pain, abandonment, fear and anger. Kenshin fought the urge to back away from the emotional onslaught, knowing that it was imperative he find the cause of his beloved's pain, fearful that the trigger for these emotions was himself. He winced as he saw Kaoru's nails digging into her forearm, drawing blood in her attempts to silently cry. (No, I will not permit you any more pain, not like this....not when I am the one who deserves your anger).

"Kaoru, stop." He carefully took her slender arms in his hands, unwilling to see her harm herself. A part of his mind registered that she was no longer feverish, her body temperature finally normal (Thank the Gods!). He was amazed how much better she was already looking, her fever gone , the only traces of her illness a slight rash on her chest and the broken capillaries around her eyes and mouth from her repeated bouts of nausea. His finger's tightened around her wrists as he remembered the agony that he had felt last night as he had contemplated a life without her, how he had cried out to the night for someone to spare this woman that he had grown to love and need more than anything else in this world. And someone had, despite his attacking her and nearly crushing her windpipe in the mistaken attempt to protect his family. He wondered again about the medicine and the strange tools that the doctor had used, and how she had (before she passed out) asked where she was and what year they were living in. Kenshin sighed, he would need to try and apologize to the woman for the way that he had hurt her and then properly thank her for saving Kaoru's life, but first, he needed to try and ease the pain that was evident in his wife's pale face.

"Tell me what's wrong." He whispered as he tried to wipe tears away. "Kaoru, please...." He groaned inwardly as she shook her head and tried to move away from him, her actions causing pain and fear to gnaw at his heart. Kaoru laid back down on the futon, wincing as pain lanced through her abdomen. She reflexively covered her belly for an instant, hoping that the pains didn't mean anything, sick with the understanding that they probably did. She whimpered and closed her eyes, not ready to face her husband's tender face, not willing to share the fear and pain with a man who despite his best intentions had broken her heart.

"I'm sorry, Kenshin...I can't....." She rolled away from him, tucking herself into a ball. "Please.....I need to rest."

In the other room Mara was trying to wake up. Normally, a clock radio would be responsible for rousing her from sleep, jarring her with the loud sounds of Japanese rock and roll (she had the annoying habit of sleeping through classical pieces) Her situation was far from normal though, instead of a radio it was the persistent, not so gentle touch of a five year old pulling on her hair.

"Ow! Hey, knock it off!" She looked up and yelped as she realized it was the brown haired boy from the previous evening. (It wasn't a dream then....damn!) The child (Kenji?) frowned at her outburst and continued to play with the inky curls, fascinated with the texture.

"Kenji...What am I doing here?" Mara sat up and gingerly rotated her slim neck (Ow, ow, ow ...okay that was a bad idea!) Her throat was on fire and the slightest motion hurt like hell. She looked at the little boy and was concerned at the angry expression on the childish face. He was staring at her throat, frowning.

"He hurt you." He pointed at the woman's throat which was swollen and covered with a dark purple bruise.

"Yes, he did....."Mara didn't know what to say to the child. It would have been an insult to his intelligence and her own to pretend that nothing had happened. Still, she didn't want to further an already large gulf between a father and son. "He thought I was trying to hurt your mom and he got scared. Sometimes, Kenji, when grown ups are afraid they make wrong choices." She smiled and stood up, still shaky with the realization that somehow she had ended up 120 years in the past. (It can't be helped...I'll deal with it later.)

"Are you mad?"

"What?" she realized that she had been spacing out, and refocused on what the child was saying.

"Are you mad at my daddy for hitting you?"

" He made a mistake, one that I'm sure he feels bad about." She knelt down and looked into the boy's blue violet eyes. "I am going to forgive him for hitting me. Do you think that you can forgive him for scaring you?" For some reason, Mara felt compelled to try and help the boy work out his feelings of anger, knowing that he was too young to dwell on such dark feelings.

"I don't know." Kenji shook his head. "I wish he would go away and leave Mommy and me alone." Kenji looked away, feeling guilty for verbalizing the wishes of his heart. The last time he had said it, he had caused his mommy to cry and his daddy to look angry. "He goes away for a long time, and it makes Mommy cry. I don't like to see her sad."

"Of course not, you're a good boy." Mara patted him on the shoulder. "When I was a little girl, my dad was gone a lot. I missed him very much and sometimes, I even got angry at him for not spending time with me."

"Your daddy went away too?" Kenji looked up with interest

"Yes. But I realized as I got older that he went away because he was trying to make things better for me. Someday Kenji, when you are all grown up, you'll understand what I mean."

"Promise?" The trust in the voice was endearing, despite the subject matter. Mara reached out and hugged him. "I promise. Now, let's go and see how your mom is feeling."

Kenji was out of the room like a flash and down the hallway.

"Momma!" He burst into the room and dove unto the futon before Kenshin could stop him. "Are you feeling better?" He looked carefully at his mother's face and frowned as he saw tears on her face. He leaned up and wiped them away with a chubby hand. Kaoru hugged him and kissed his forehead.

"Don't worry, dear. I'm just a little tired." She snuggled the boy next to her, grateful for the contact. "I am feeling much better. You and Daddy did a good job taking care of me."

"Yes, they did." Kaoru looked up at the unfamiliar voice, then gasped with surprise. (Sweet Gods above....She's so tall!) It was the only coherent thought that she could come up with as the dark haired foreigner smiled and stepped into the bedroom.

"I'm glad to see you're awake. You gave your husband and son quite a scare last night." Mara walked over to the futon and knelt down beside the woman. Kaoru noticed that her eyes were the color of steel, and were at the moments focusing on her husband in a decidedly cool manner.

"Kaoru, this is Doctor...." Kenshin paused unsure how to pronounce the woman's strange last name.

"I'm Mara Mogensen. Pleased to meet you." Mara took Kaoru's hand and shook it, pleased at the lack of fever. "It looks like the antibiotics are kicking in quite nicely." She turned to look at Kenshin and hissed as her throat protested the motion. Kaoru gasped at the sight of a terrible bruise that covered the woman's entire throat, swollen splotches of purple and blue marring the pale skin.

"Are you all right?" The concern in her patient's voice was evident. (I should have covered this before I came in here) Mara nodded and smiled, hoping that she could come up with a plausible explanation before....

"Daddy hit her." Kenji's said in a smug voice as he bounced on the edge of the futon.

(Oh shit.) The thought was echoed by both Kenshin and Mara. They both looked at Kaoru as the woman's eyes traveled from the marred throat to her husband and then back again.

"Kenshin? I don't understand......What on earth happened?" Kaoru asked in a horrified voice, stunned that her husband was somehow responsible for the marks on the doctor's throat. She looked back at her him, hoping for an explanation. Kenshin looked at her silently, not knowing what to say.

"It was an accident." Mara said as she stood up and walked over to where her duffel bag was lying on the floor. "You're husband was trying to protect you and your son." She quickly found a bottle of Ibuprofen and swallowed four tablets, slightly gagging as they went down without water. Retrieving a stethoscope, exam light, blood pressure cuff and the bottle of antibiotics, she came back to where the her patient was lying and did her best to try and act like there was nothing wrong with the situation.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about it." She insisted "It was a misunderstanding, nothing more."

"But..." Kenshin tried to interrupt.

"No butts about it! I'm fine. It was an accident. End of discussion." Mara looked over at Kenji and gave him a look that indicated that the boy had better not say another word about what had happened. (You did that on purpose! Shame on you.) "Do you remember what I told you in the other room?"

"That it was a mistake." Kenji pouted

"That's right, a mistake....now tell your dad you're sorry!" Mara snapped, annoyed that the manipulations of a five year old had put everyone in a very difficult situation.

"I'm sorry." The boy whispered, his tone and stance indicating that he was anything but remorseful. He looked at Kenshin for a moment, stuck out his tongue, then ran out of the room ignoring his mother's protests.

The three adults looked awkwardly at each other, not knowing what to say. Mara especially found herself in a sticky situation. On one hand, the man had hurt and scared her, and she wasn't in the habit of defending abusive behavior, not matter what the reason. On the other, was the knowledge that she was in another time period , an era that was infamous for it's brutality if she remembered her history. (He was only trying to protect his wife and child from a stranger. I don't have the right to judge him too harshly) Last night she had seen that this man was capable of extreme violence and tender caring, and had decided, despite the risks, to follow her instincts and help his family. The professional part of her wondered which was his true nature and how a man could house two such extremes in one soul. (He's not quite bi-polar....and certainly not schizophrenic....) Mara watched his eyes and was not surprised to see that they were sad.(I'd bet a box of doughnuts that he's suffering from a severe case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder....) They drifted down to her neck, now very bruised and sore, the outlines of his fingers on her throat livid and purple. Last night he seemed like a monster, yellow eyes flashing... today he was just a small, quiet man with haunted eyes that seemed to radiate remorse and embarrassment. (Not to mention one hell of a personality fragmentation complex.....) She saw him shut his eyes in sorrow and watched pain and self-loathing etch themselves into his face.

Kaoru could feel the tension crackling through the room like lightning. The sick expression on her husbands face confirmed Kenji's accusation. Somehow, for whatever reason, Kenshin had attacked the woman standing next to her, nearly crushing her throat by the look and depth of the bruising. (What happened? Why don't I remember?) The only memories that Kaoru retained from the previous evening were hazy fragments of conversations, bursts of distorted images. She knew that she had been sick, the bedding and robe she wore were fresh, and her body was still far from well. This fact was emphasized by the almost continuous feelings of pain in her abdomen. She wrapped her arms around her waist, tying to ignore the spasms that tore through her, focusing instead on the tall doctor that was now looking at her with a hard expression.

"How bad is it?" Mara knelt down frowning as the woman insisted that nothing was the matter. She knew that a certain amount of pain and cramping was normal with Typhoid, it was the possibility that the pregnancy was terminating that had her concerned. She looked into the mother's blue eyes, tying to gauge the pain by the woman's expression. She could see pain, yes....and fear. (She knows that her baby's in danger. How in the hell am I going to give her a pelvic with her husband standing here?) She looked over at the man hoping that he would agree to what she was about to ask him.

"There is the possibility that there are internal complications, and I wouldn't want your son coming into the bedroom while I am examining your wife. Would you mind leaving the room for a few moments and make sure that he doesn't run back in here?"

Kenshin watched the doctor's face carefully. (You're not telling me everything. You don't want me in here....) He recalled how the woman had been almost ridiculously careful to shield Kaoru from him when she had been cleaning her up. (You don't want me to see Kaoru.....why?)

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong with my wife." Kenshin could tell that he was making the woman angry and didn't care. (I'm not leaving her alone with you.)

"I just need to examine her and make sure that she's all right." Mara said, knowing that her explanation wouldn't fly. "I don't want her to be uncomfortable, that's all."

"Don't lie to me." Kenshin softly growled, walking towards the doctor. "This is the second time you've lied to my face and I won't stand for it."

"When did I lie?" Mara snapped. "Enlighten me. Was it before or after you nearly ripped my throat out?"

"Please....stop." Kaoru winced as another set of cramps took her breath away. I'll be fine, Kenshin. Why don't you go check on Kenji while Dr. Mogensen examines me."

"Kaoru..." Kenshin turned and looked at her with almost a stunned expression on his face. "I don't think that's a good idea."(Don't ask me to go!)

"I'll be all right."

Kenshin turned to the tall doctor."You do anything to hurt her..."

Mara narrowed her eyes coldly. "I'm a doctor you moron! I'm not in the habit of harming my patients. Besides, I got a good taste of what you're capable of last night." (Try that again Carrot Head, and you're liable to get a face full of pepper spray!)

"Kenshin, just go! Please!" Kaoru begged, trying not to cry.

"Fine!" Kenshin whispered, angry and hurt at his wife's curt dismissal. He turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the sliding door shut behind him.

"I'm sorry about that." Mara said as she helped Kaoru lay back on the bed. "I didn't want him in here when I gave you a pelvic exam. She rummaged through her bag looking for a clean pair of gloves and some lubricant. "I am correct in assuming that he doesn't know about the pregnancy?"

Kaoru gasped and nodded. "How...?"

"Last night, when I examined you. I'm guessing you're what....three or four months along?"

"Five and a half."

"Really? You're really not showing much for being in the second trimester.(She's too small! This isn't a good sign) The doctor smiled pleasantly, not wanting to cause the sick woman concern.

Kaoru closed her eyes as Mara pressed on the side of her belly. "Is the baby going to be all right?" She gritted her teeth as she felt the doctor's hand inside of her .

"I know, it hurts. I'm checking to see whether your cervix is softening." Mara apologized as she pressed harder against the woman's belly. ""Ahhh....good. No sign of dilation or any bleeding." She smiled at Kaoru to reassure her. "That's a good sign. Now, let's see if we can find a heartbeat." She placed the instrument on the left side of the sick woman's tender abdomen...waited for a few seconds.....then on the right side......(Nothing...damn.) "I can't detect a heartbeat, but it's nothing to worry about, you're still might be a little early for a stethoscope to pick anything up." She sat up and pulled her gloves off. (Now for the bad part of my job....) "You've been very sick Ma'am."

"Please, call me Kaoru."

"Kaoru, you have had a high fever and are still battling a bad case of Typhoid. I'm not going to lie to you and say that I'm not concerned about the baby because I am." She covered the smaller woman's hand with her own, knowing that what she was saying was painful to hear. "There is the distinct possibility that the baby won't make it...... I'm sorry."

Kaoru closed her eyes and tried not to sob. "Is there any chance at all?"

"Of course, there's a chance that everything will be just fine. I just want you to be prepared in case something happens."

"What am I going to tell Kenshin?" The question was directed more to herself than the doctor.

Mara patted the younger woman on the arm. "I know that you have your reasons for not telling your husband, and I respect the choice you've made. Just make sure that your reasons for not confiding in him outweigh the reasons for trusting him with this information. Despite my better judgement, I still think that he's a pretty good guy that really loves you. Okay?" She took out a pen and a notepad from her bag.

"I'm going to write down the instructions for your medicine and treatment. Make sure that you don't let your son near the medicine, it could make him sick if he eats any." Mara sat down and flipped open the notepad. She carefully wrote all the instructions down along with the dosage levels and what to do in an emergency.

"Your husband mentioned that there was a clinic where there are more sick people. Do you know how to get there?"

Kaoru nodded and quietly gave directions to the young doctor. For some reason, she was sorry that the woman was leaving, despite the obvious tension between her and Kenshin. Mara finished writing the directions down and snapped the notebook shut with a sigh.

"If anything happens, anything at all....I'll be over at the clinic. Is there someone that you can send if you get into trouble?" Mara wanted to make sure that the woman would be okay.

"Yes, one of my students is aware of my condition." She looked away for a second. "Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself."

"Oh, I know that Kaoru! It's that husband and son of your's that have me worried. They would be in serious trouble without you to watch over them. Now, promise me that you'll take it easy and let me know if there's anything I can do to help. Mara waited until Kaoru nodded before she closed up her duffle bag and started to leave.

"Doctor, wait!" Kaoru called out "I want to thank you for all your help.....and to apologize. I don't understand what happened...but I'm so sorry that he hurt you...I hope you'll believe me when I tell you that he really is a kind, good man."

"I'm sure he is......" Mara nodded. "We just got off on the wrong foot." She smiled and quickly walked out of the room before Kaoru could say another word.

"Well?" Kenshin was standing outside the door waiting. The concern in his voice was unmistakable.(Bless his heart, he's just worried about his wife....give the man a break!) Mara looked at him for a minute, trying to decide whether a well placed hint was in order. The look on the man's face convinced her that a slight bending of patient confidentiality would be warranted. (Hey, it not like the hospital board will find out about this one.)

"For the moment, your wife is fine. I left instructions for her medicine and how to treat her illness. She know's how to get a hold of me if there are any problems." Mara put her bag down and leaned against the opposite wall. She stared at the shorter man for a moment. Kenshin stared right back. Finally, Mara snorted and chuckled "You and I didn't exactly make the best first impressions did we?"

Kenshin merely lifted an eyebrow at the obvious understatement. "No, we didn't."

"I know it's a little late to try and be civil, after all, I managed to call you a moron and you well.....you know.........(Oh this is good...smooth Mogensen, very smooth) Mara shrugged.

"What I'm trying to say is that despite what we both think of each other, you and I really do have Kaoru's best interests at heart. She is going through a lot right now and needs someone that she can talk to......there is something really important that she needs to tell you, and she's not sure how to do it." (Hope that's enough of a hint, cause it's all you're going to get.) Mara hefted her duffle bag onto her shoulder and prepared to leave. "I also need to apologize for losing my temper earlier. It was unprofessional and uncalled for." She was about to leave when the man called out to her.

"I am the one who needs to apologize for my behavior the last night, and thank you for all that you did in spite of how I treated you." Kenshin sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. "I normally would never lay a hand on a woman in anger. I just didn't know that you meant well, and after all that has happened to her, I couldn't take a chance. I can only hope that you will eventually forgive me."

"Just forget about it.....all right? You were trying to protect your family. " Her tone suggested that the subject was closed. "Please tell Kenji good bye for me. I hope that you and your son can work things out." Mara turned and walked away, leaving Kenshin to his own thoughts.

Three Days Later

(I am going to die.....right here, right now!) Mara kicked open the door from the dispensary room, hands full of bed linen. She looked exhausted and her eyes were red and puffy from the chronic lack of sleep. Staggering into the main foyer of the clinic she carefully put the bedding on a waiting bench and sunk down to her knees. She closed her eyes and shuddered, despite the warm summer breeze that gently wafted through an open window. (I can't go back out there.....It's 's too much....too much for a person to stand...) She wished that the images in her mind would stop, that she could forget the sights, sounds and smells of suffering and pain. Her smile was bitter as she recalled her feelings of inadequacy when she had been unable to plot a variance table correctly, or when an argument with an anal retentive hospital administrator had caused her to become upset. (How utterly trivial compared to the hell of seeing people die before my eyes, unable to do more than comfort then out of life!) She could hear a man shouting outside and tried to ignore it. (I want to go home! I shouldn't be here!) Mara was in over her head and she knew it. She was an Epidemiologist by choice, a scientist, trained to track illness - to investigate it's origins and conduct research on how to best combat its spread. She had worked in hospitals before, everyone going through medical school did their turn in the different disciplines. She had seen death and dying, sat by more bedsides than she could remember easing pain, prolonging the quality of life but this was different. There was no morphine drip for the pain, no antibiotics for the infection - just herbs, water and backbreaking manual labor to try and save once person, only to have them die in agony. Mara had never worked so hard in her life, and with so little to show for it. (I thought that I could just waltz in here and save everyone...I didn't even think that I might not have nearly enough medicine for thirty-eight Typhoid patients !) She had been able to only help a handful, no more than eighteen . The rest had died or would be dead by the end of the day. (And now I'm completely out of antibiotics !) A whimper escaped her lips as she tried to force tired legs to stand, over strained muscles to move.

"Dr. Mogensen!" she looked out the clinic window to see who was calling her name. "Is Mara Mogensen here?" It was a young man, in his late teens of early twenties, black spiky hair poking every which way. He looked like he had just come from a Karate class of some sort by the outfit he was wearing.

"I'm Dr. Mogensen, how may I help you?" Mara wearily walked out of the clinic to greet the stranger.

"It's Kaoru!" The man grabbed her by the arm "You need to come with me now!"

Mara's face paled . "Oh, no...Is it the baby?" She had been dreading something like this for days. The man nodded, his handsome features pinched with fear."

"Yes. Please...we need to hurry!"

"Hold on! I need to get my bag and tell Dr. Genzai that I'm leaving." Mara dashed into the clinic and grabbed her bag. She then called out for the doctor and followed the sound of his voice until she found him in the back room, trying to set a broken arm.

"Doctor, there's an emergency, I'm sorry I need to leave at once!"

The old man looked up from his patient, concerned . "Is it the Himura residence? That young man sounded like Yahiko."

Mara nodded, her tired face grim.

"I know that you'll be able to help them. They are in good hands." Dr. Genzai smiled as the tall woman nodded her head in thanks and took off running. (Very good hands, indeed.)

Mara tore out of the clinic, trying to ignore the pain in her legs and fatigue that threatened to overwhelm her. She nodded at the young man and forced herself to move.

"Let's go!" Together they took off down the street towards the dojo hoping that they would make it in time to save Kaoru.

Later That Evening

Yahiko stumbled out of the house and flopped down on the stairs, too exhausted and sad to care where he landed. He wanted to put his hands in his head and bawl like a kid, but he was covered in blood, and the doctor had threatened him with his life if he touched anything or anyone before he washed. Despite her fatigue, he knew that the lady was more than capable of making due on her threats. (Gods ! That woman is the most bossy, overbearing, opinionated....) Yahiko stood up and marched over to the well. (Loud mouthed, order giving, man hating....) His tirade continued as he washed himself carefully, making sure that the dirty water was well away from the well and the dipper that people used for drinking (Over sensitive, sharp tongued, racoon faced.....) The list went on and on as he flung off his bloody gi and threw it in the wash tub. He was on the thirty-fifth character flaw when he heard someone coming out of the house. It was the doctor. Her expression was as despondent and worn out as his own.

Mara looked awful and she knew it.(It's nothing compared to what that poor woman and her husband went through today.....) She staggered over to the well and poured the icy water over her head, down her back, over and over again, trying to get herself clean. The water coming off her was dark pink and remained that way for some time. She took off her shirt, not caring that anyone might be watching and wrung it out several times, watching dispassionately as the amount of blood lessened with each soaking. (There, that will do for now.) She looked up and realized that Yahiko was staring at her with a crimson face.

"What are you looking at?"

"Nothing! I didn't mean to..." Yahiko stammered an apology as the woman put her shirt back on, trying desperately not to look at the ugly, raised scars that marred the doctor's pale stomach and left shoulder.

"The hell you didn't." Mara muttered. "Hand me your shirt, I'll clean it for you." She caught the gi and repeated the action until it too was blood free. She tossed it back to Yahiko and then started looking around the complex. (Think! Dammit, Think!)

"Where do you people bathe?"

"Over there." Yahiko pointed to the bath house. "Are you going to take a bath or something?

"No, it's for Kaoru's husband." Mara walked over to the bath and tried to figure out how to heat the damn thing. After a while she gave up and asked Yahiko for help. As she walked back into the house, as the young man's curses took on a whole new realm of creativity, causing Mara to crack a smile in spite of the situation. She knew that the man was venting his grief by being pissy and it didn't offend her in the least that she was the brunt of the tirade. (What ever works.) She sighed and walked to the back bedroom, opened the door and peered inside.

The room was as dark as the mood inside. Kenshin was a kneeling next to the side of the futon, a gore covered statue devoid of any expression except simple and utter devastation. He didn't move a muscle, staring down at the still figure, no.... figures that were lying on his bed. Mara walked over to the man and knelt down, unsure of herself in such close proximity to a man who had been through so much in the space of a day.

"Himura, Yahiko is preparing a bath for you." She frowned at the utter lack of response from the man. She carefully put her arm on his shoulder, hoping that the gesture would not be taken in the wrong way. The man ignored her and continued to look down at his wife.

"Kenshin." The doctor's use of his first name caused the man too look up with an almost dazed expression. "Kenshin, you need to get cleaned up." Mara's voice was low and soft as she tired to persuade him to go and bathe.(He hasn't moved from this spot for over an hour. He's still in terrible shock over what happened, not that I blame him...) " I'll stay right here until you come back. I won't leave Kaoru alone."

"I left her alone....." The words came out so softly that Mara could barely understand them. Kenshin shut his eyes as hot angry tears stared to sting. The magnitude of his failure was simply overwhelming, pounding his battered spirit into the ground over and over again. He had failed, once again, to protect the one person who mattered most to him. Only this time, it wasn't revenge for his past crimes, or the attempt to preserve Japan that had caused his Kaoru such pain, such suffering, it was himself, his neglect and absence to a wife who deserved much better. He was the weapon that had ripped his wife's body apart and killed an unborn, utterly defenseless child. Him.

He could still her Kaoru's screams in his head, begging him over and over again to save their baby, to ease her pain. (I tried....we tried....it was too soon...... she didn't stand a chance....) He looked over at the small bundle lying next to his wife and choked back a sob. The baby had been born without a heartbeat. Despite that, the doctor had worked ferociously for over thirty minutes to try and revive the tiny girl, refusing to give up until Kenshin told her that it was over and had took the body from her hands, wrapping it gently in linen before he laid it on the bed. (Kaoru.) Even now, after almost two hours, she was still occasionally sobbing, even in a drug induced stupor. (You were so brave.....you refused to cry out until the end...) Kenshin hesitantly brushed his fingers across Kaoru's pale face, wishing that he could have spared her the ordeal that she had suffered through for nearly thirteen hours. Despite her pain and fear, Kaoru had been stoic through everything, it was the sight of her dead child that had induced a state of hysteria that was so severe that Mara had to sedate her. Kaoru had fallen asleep begging Kenshin for his forgiveness, and for their lost child, her little hands grasping his arm until she was unconscious. (I'm the one who should ask for your pardon......what happened today is my fault......I wasn't here to protect you, Kaoru. I'm so sorry.....)

"Kenshin......look at me." Mara tilted his head so that the broken hearted man was looking into her eyes. She could see pain and guilt flickering in the violet iris's even in the low lit bedroom. "What happened today, while tragic, is not your fault. I warned Kaoru that this was a possibility. Her body was too ill to carry a baby and so the pregnancy terminated" Mara knew that she sounded cruel and cold, but it was essential that the husband not place any more blame on himself than he already had. "There is nothing you could have done to prevent this, even if you had been home."

"I should have been here."

"You're here now, and this is the time that your wife will need you the most.(Looks like being nice isn't working with this one, let's try another approach) " I want you to pull yourself together and get cleaned up!" Mara stood up and grabbed the smaller man by the arm. "Kaoru's sedative will be wearing off soon and I know that you are the only person that she wants to wake up to ....so get moving!" She nudged Kenshin out the door and made sure that he went into the bath before she came back and sat down by Kaoru's bedside.

Early The Next Morning

Sunlight slowly filtered through the rice paper walls, illuminating the small bedroom in warmth. Kenshin could feel it on his skin, filtering through his clothing, the gentle heat a comforting sensation that eased the physical discomfort of lying on a wooden floor all night. (I don't want to wake up.) He knew that he needed to get up, start breakfast, make sure that Kaoru was all right. Instead he just lay there for a moment, feeling the rough grain of the wood against his palm and cheek, the gentle embrace that a blanket offered his back... (Dr. Mogensen must have covered me up last night) With that thought, violet eyes opened.

Kenshin quietly sat up, ignoring the aches that had become a morning staple as the years passed.(I'm getting older....) His smile was rueful as he rubbed his stiff shoulder, hoping to reduce the pain that lying on it all night had produced. Kenshin made his way to the futon where Kaoru was still sleeping. He leaned over and kissed her gently, knowing that the woman was still too sedated to awake at the contact. Kenshin inhaled deeply, savoring the sensation of his wife's mouth against his lips. (I've missed you...this...everything.) It had been months since he's had her in his arms, an eternity since they had been able to love one another. He broke the embrace regretfully, knowing that the waiting would have to continue until she had healed both in her body and heart.

Last night, as the sedatives had worn off, Kaoru had woken up. He had been there, waiting for her, fearful and uncertain of her reaction to the loss that she had suffered and to the man who had caused it. Kenshin had expected anger, at best a stony silence that spoke of her contempt for him. Kaoru's reaction had been quite different. She simply took his hand in hers and placed it against her heart, a gesture that spoke of her love and the pain that they both felt. There had been no words, just silent apologies on both sides for the harm that had been wrought. He regretted leaving her alone, she lamented that in her pain and loneliness she had not told him about their unborn child until it was too late to do anything but grieve.

"Kenshin."

"Kaoru!" He leaned over and took his wife's hand, thankful that she was awake, concerned that she was in pain. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." She smiled at his reaction. " I think that our good doctor was a little generous in the pain medication....I can't feel a thing." She looked at her husband's sad face, the way his expressive eyes still sought her forgiveness, the pallor of his features from a lack of sleep and the regrets that he had tried to express the night before. (Stop. No more pain....I can't stand to see you hurting.) Kaoru reached out and caressed his cheek gently, (I was wrong not to tell you sooner, darling. I'm sorry .)

Kenshin's eyes closed as he felt his wife touch him. Her fingers were warm, soothing, easing his bitter sorrow and regret as they brushed over his scarred cheek. It was a constant reminder to him of his past sins, crimes that he had committed in the name of youthful idealism, a desire to create a new and better world for people like his wife and son. (What a fool I was....the only thing I created was sorrow and suffering for everyone that I came into contact with.) He opened his eyes and held Kaoru's hand next to his cheek. (Especially you. A wonderful innocent girl that was willing to overlook my faults and simply love me for who I was. You have gone through so much...for so little.) Kenshin moved over to the bed and wrapped his arms around Kaoru's thin shoulders.

(I'm sorry Kaoru, I need to hold you...please forgive me.) He held her tightly against him, as he ran his fingers through her hair, kissed her forehead, whispered her name over and over like a benediction, praying for her love and forgiveness, a chance to make things better, the hope to see her smile. Kaoru too, touched him, knowing that the contact conveyed her love more than words ever could. Her arms wrapped around his strong neck, as she leaned against him, seeking and receiving the feelings of safety and protection that his embrace afforded her. Being in his arms kept the pain and loss at bay, reminding her that there was still a chance to be loved, cherished, needed. She sighed, smiled and then closed her eyes, unable to fight the combined effects of Mara's medication and the wonderful warmth of Kenshin's body against her own.

"I love you." She whispered as sleep overtook her, content for the first time in months. "I...love....." Kenshin carefully settled his weight against the wall as he continued to hold his sleeping wife against him. (I love you too.) He leaned his head against hers, inhaling her familiar scent before he too slowly drifted back to sleep, knowing that at least for that moment in time, everything was perfect.

Two Weeks Later

Kenshin took the last of the laundry off the line and looked up at the sky. Dark thunder heads were billowing up to the west, heavy with rain. (It's going to storm tonight, I'm glad I finished the laundry in time) He sighed and brushed his damp hair out his eyes, the already oppressive humidity somehow increasing as the storm drew closer. He was almost to the house when he heard the familiar voice of Dr. Genzai calling to him from the street.

"Good Afternoon!" Kenshin put the basket down and trotted over to where the old man was standing.

"Good Afternoon, Doctor. How are you and the girls doing?"

"Fine, fine....Both of them are enrolled in a private school, and doing splendidly! Can you believe it?" Dr. Genzai shook his head "I'm getting old, before long they'll be all grown up." He looked over Kenshin's shoulder into the courtyard where Kenji was running around, pretending to be a samurai. "Why, look at your son, he's grown since I saw him last! Is he still as "active" as he once was ?"

Kenshin nodded, inwardly smiling at the doctor's euphemism for Kenji's non - stop energy. "Yes, he is. Kaoru and I have our hands full with the boy. Still, that's normal for children.." Kenshin winced as his son let out a hair rasing screech as he "attacked" his mortal enemy (the wash basin) with his trusty katana (a rather unimpressive stick) "At least I hope it normal.."

Dr. Genzai laughed and slapped Kenshin's shoulder. "Oh Yes! Perfectly normal....We just don't remember being that young on account of our advancing age." Kenshin let the unintended insult slide. "I wanted to ask you, how is Kaoru doing ? The girl's and I are so worried about her."

"She is doing much better. Dr. Mogensen came over this morning and told Kaoru that she can finally move around the house. (And it's a good thing, my poor wife was about to go crazy.)

"She's the reason that I came to talk to you . I was hoping you could help convince her to consider staying on with me at the clinic." The older man sighed. "You would never believe how hard she worked to try and help those Typhoid cases. I don't know what I would have done without her." He thought of how wary he had been when the strange woman had shown up and offered to help, and how his skepticism had quickly turned into amazement as he watched her work.

"Oh?" Kenshin was curious, Mara had never mentioned her work at the clinic in their conversations.

"She is easily the finest doctor that I have ever met, even if her techniques are strange and her manners are...well.....sometimes a little abrasive." He chuckled at the memory of Mara throwing a drunk man out of the clinic when he had tried to touch her inappropriately. (I never knew a woman could use language like that!) "I'd be a fool not to try and convince her to stay and work at the clinic, while I still have time."

"Are you unwell?" Kenshin asked him with concern.

"No, just an old man. I'm almost seventy, you know." Dr. Genzai smiled and patted Kenshin's arm. "Time passes, and like it or not, so do we. That's why I need you and Kaoru to talk to her, before some other doctor snatches her away."

"I promise I'll talk to her about it the next time I see her."

"Won't she be coming back here this evening?" Dr. Genzai asked, confused at Kenshin's answer.

"No, not that I'm aware of. Why?"

"I...thought, I assumed that she was staying with you. After all, she talks about your family with great fondness." The old man shook his head. "I wonder where she goes at night?"

Kenshin frowned. "I'll speak with Kaoru, I'm sure that she knows."

Dr. Genzai nodded. "Of course. Well, I had better get back to the house and get the girls their dinner. Don't' forget !"

Kenshin waved as the man walked away before he went "I promise."

Later That Evening

Mara looked up at the dark sky and tried to hurry. (Tonight's going to be a blast. Leaking water...what a treat!) She scowled darkly as the mental image of her room filling up with dirty water flitted through her mind. (Who knows.....If I'm really lucky I might manage to contract a nice case of Cholera and get a one way ticket out of this hell hole!) Mara ran down the street, hoping to beat the rain, not aware that she was being followed.

She arrived at her "home" fifteen minutes later. It consisted of a tiny room that was heated by a second hand smoking hibachi and lit by a Kerosene lamp that she had traded her sunglasses for. There was no futon, just an old, worn blanket that she had "borrowed" when a patient had died and the family had left it at the clinic. Other than that, the room was bare.(Martha Stewart would have a shit fit if she saw this place....) Mara reached out and slid open the door. The inside of the room was dark, and smelled like mildew. She put her duffle bag down, closed the door and made her way to the lamp, her fingers struggling to light a match.

"You won't be needing that honey. Not for what we'll be doing." A man's voice whispered in her ear as his dirty hands clamped over the surprised woman's mouth. (Takashiri!) She recognized the voice, as well as the man's incredibly rank breath. He had staggered into the clinic a few day's earlier to be treated for injuries he had received in a fight. During the exam, the intoxicated man had tried to fondle Mara, and had been thrown out by the enraged woman, much to the delight of Dr. Genzai. She shook her head and tried to pull away from the drunk man.

"What? Aren't you happy to see me?" He grabbed her hair and yanked hard, causing Mara to fall backward. Before she could try and get to the pepper spray in her duffle bag, the man was on top of her, straddling her waist with strong legs. (No..no..no...!) She shook her head again and tried to buck him off. Takashiri seemed to enjoy the woman struggling and leered down at her as his free hand reached under her shirt and began pawing at her chest.

(No!) Mara bit down hard on the man's hand, tasting the tang of blood on her tongue. He yelled and jerked his bleeding hand away.

"You bitch!" he snarled as he backhanded her. Mara cried out and tried to fight back. She managed to rake her nails down the side of his face before he grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head.

"Help! Please! Someone help me!" Mara screamed. She tried to bite the man's arm, twisting against his grip. He hit her again. Mara groaned as the impact caused her vision to swim. Takashiri laughed and fumbled with the snap on the woman's pants.

"I won't let you do this to me!" Mara snarled as the man shoved his knee between her legs. "You'll have to kill me first, you son of a bitch!" Suddenly, she felt her body jar as the man above her was thrown across the room. Mara opened her eyes in shock as a familiar form stepped between her and Takashiri.

(Kenshin!)

He stood there impassively as Takashiri struggled to stand, cursing at the strange man for interrupting his fun.

"I will not permit you to harm this woman." Kenshin's voice was soft, yet lethal.

Takashiri roared and ran at the shorter man, this time brandishing a small knife. Kenshin simply stepped back, caught the man's arm, twisted, and with a sickening pop, somehow wrenched it cleanly from the socket. Takashiri screamed in pain and dropped the knife from nerveless fingers. Kenshin shoved him out the door and watched angrily as the man stumbled away, groaning in pain.

"Doctor Mogensen!" He ran over to where the woman was laying. She was panting and her grey eyes were dilated in a mixture of terror and fury. He cursed to himself as he saw that the woman's face had been badly beaten (I didn't get here quickly enough.) Kenshin wrapped his arm around Mara and helped her sit up. "Can you move?"

She nodded.

"We need to leave. He'll be back soon with others." He grabbed the bag that was lying on the floor and quickly followed Mara out the door. Kenshin guided her carefully through the dark streets, his senses alert for any sign of danger. He looked over at the tall woman and wished that he had time to comfort her, to let her know that she was safe. (As soon as we get home, it's still too risky to stop.) Mara for her part, didn't say a word. She knew that she needed to thank Kenshin for saving her, but her body seemed to be on auto-function, her legs mindless things that simply took step after step, her mouth frozen in a straight, grim expression the belied the fear and disgust that were still churning in her stomach. They were half way to the dojo when the long threatening storm finally hit, drenching both of them in seconds.

By the time they reached the courtyard, Mara was shaking violently, from both the cold and her body's delayed reaction to the assault. Kenshin helped her into the house and called out for his wife to come and help him.

"Mara!" Kaoru walked quickly into the hallway and embraced the trembling woman, oblivious to the cold water that soaked through her own clothing. A glance at Mara's bruised face and split lip told Kaoru that her friend had been beaten, they way the doctor trembled indicated that much worse might have occurred. "Oh, Mara....I'm sorry.... it's all right. You're safe." Kaoru gently whispered as she held Mara, knowing that the woman needed comfort and security at this moment.

"Mara! Mara!" Kenji danced into the hallway, thrilled that his pal was back to play. He stopped in his tracks and started to whimper when he realized that his tall friend had been hurt. "What happened?" He ran over and tugged on his mother's kimono. "Mommy, what's wrong with Mara?" Kaoru looked up at the woman, unsure of what to say in such a delicate situation.

"I'm all right, Kenji." Mara forced a tight smile so the boy wouldn't be alarmed. She knelt down next to the child and patted his shoulder. "I just ran into a little trouble, that's all." Kenji pouted and tried to wipe some blood from the woman's lip. "Did you fall down?"

Mara shook her head. "No, there was a bad man who was grumpy with me. Your daddy made him go away and brought me to your house."

"Daddy made him go away?" The boy tilted his head towards his father, eyes wide in amazement.

"Yes, he did!" She looked up at Kenshin and smiled in gratitude. "He was very brave and protected me."

Kenji thought things over for a second, then ran over and gave his father's leg a big hug. Kenshin knelt and hugged his son tightly, relishing the rare display of affection from his child. Kenji looked down and realized that his robe was now damp.

"Daddy, you're all wet!" He laughed. "Mommy is going to be yell at you for getting water on the floor!"

"Kenji, why don't you come with me in the other room. It's time for bed." Kaoru gently but firmly escorted the protesting boy out of the hallway, leaving Kenshin alone to talk to Mara.

Later that Night

"Mara, what on Earth were you doing in that part of the city?" Kaoru was angry. "Why didn't you tell us that you needed a place to stay?" She marched over to the sitting woman and poured some more tea into her cup, ignoring Mara's protests that she was fine, and her husband's gentle hints that she needed to take easy. "Nonsense. You are going to be lucky if you don't catch a cold, or worse." She gave the taller a woman a look that shut her up without another word. (And I thought her husband was scary when he was pissed. Wow!) Mara nodded and started sipping the tea obediently.

Kenshin watched his wife indulgently. He knew that she was as frightened and angry about the situation as he was. She just handled it differently, much differently. (Dr. Mogensen's lucky, if I pulled something like that, Kaoru would have my head on the wall). After his conversation with Dr. Genzai, Kenshin had decided that he would follow Mara home from the clinic. He had been horrified when the young woman had blithely walked into a very dangerous part of Tokyo, situated near the pleasure quarters. Several wrong turns in the dark alleys had separated him from the doctor, allowing enough time for that bastard of a man to harm her. He looked over at her bruised face and groaned. (I should have been there sooner. I'm sorry.)

"If you blame yourself for this , I swear I'll knock your red headed self into next week." Mara muttered, still sipping the scalding tea in an effort to appease Kaoru. "What happened is my fault." She had nearly bitten of a curse when she had recognized the familiar look of remorse cross the older man's face. (Does he have to accept responsibility for everything under the sun?) "You saved my life. I won't allow you to diminish that with your overblown sense of guilt."

"Doctor..." Kenshin was embarrassed.

"No, really. I'll make it up to you."

"Mara, you idiot. That man must have rattled your head. You don't owe us anything...." Kaoru shook her head in annoyance. "Are we friends?"

Mara nodded.

"Then rest, be quiet, and drink that tea." Kaoru stood up and walked over to where Mara was sitting, wrapped in a shawl and a clean yukata. "From now on you'll be staying here with us."

Mara looked at her, eyes wide. "You don't mind....at least until I can find a job?" She knew that after tonight, going back to the hovel was impossible.

"You are welcome here for as long as you like, with or without employment." Kenshin smiled "Though I think Dr. Genzai will be very disappointed if you refuse his offer to work with him at the clinic."

"He wants me to stay?" Mara grinned. "Then I'll be able to help pay for rent and food! I promise that I won't be a bother. Thank..."

"Doctor. Drink the rest of your tea before my dear wife loses her patience. We have plenty of time to talk about this another day." Kenshin's tone while kind, brooked no room for argument.

Mara nodded and started sipping.

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COMING UP IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.......

(Wake up....) Mara shut her eyes tightly, trying to ignore the voice in the back of her mind. (Wake up....someone's here.....) She groaned and pulled the blanket over her head, blocking out the midday light that was filtering into her bedroom. She was tired, bone weary...still hours away from getting enough sleep to think coherently. (Quit being paranoid....It's just the Himura's coming back from the market) Mara rolled to her side, bringing her long legs up against her chest in an effort to stay warm and secure. Closing her eyes she willed sleep to return, to transport her away from the reality that she had somehow managed to exist in for over two months, for the welcome familiarity of dreams to give her the illusion that she was back home, safe and secure. (WAKE UP NOW !) Dark grey eyes snapped open at the sound of worn hinges creaking, announcing the arrival of someone to the courtyard.........(Any guesses on who our mystery guest just might be????)

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