Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Dig My Grave ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

Dig My Grave
By Sora Kainomori (My login name is from when I used to like 50cent)

 

Kaoru fluttered her eyes open and noticed that she was surrounded by very fuzzy pillows and blankets. Her head was pounding as she tried to recall what happened the night before. Her hands were bandaged with dry blood turning the once white gauze into a rusty red. She ran her hands down her body and sure enough she was starting to feel the signs of her pregnancy. She wasn't dreaming. It was real. Kenshin was gone for good and she was now a single mother trying to stay alive. Without Kenshin, it didn't seem like life was worth living. Since Megumi was the only one who knew about her condition, the doctor said that the least Kaoru could do was allow the child to get a breath of air.

" I couldn't look at that child without remembering everything I lost." the young girl stated.

" But you could look at that child and remember all that you've gained." the doctor sighed. Kaoru shrugged absently and wished that she was left alone. The young woman drew her knees to her chest and started crying. Her eyes must have been red and puffy with dark circles under her eyes. She didn't eat for days and had become deathly pale. Megumi advised her to eat since she was eating for two now. Kaoru couldn't bring herself to eat and everytime she tried she would just throw it back up. A week ago she passed out while training with Yahiko.

The boy was worried for his master. Sure he called her ugly and other things but he still loved her like an older sister. When she passed out he thought that he might lose her. Luckily for him, Sanosuke was coming for his usual free meal. When the ex-gangster saw the young woman he didn't know what to do. He wasn't used to saving damsels in distress. Yahiko was panicking, but not frantically, just asking questions about why she passed out. He was hit in the head by the older boy, who told him to get Megumi. Normally Yahiko would have grumbled and complained, but instead he quickly went to get Megumi.

" What's wrong with her?" Yahiko asked. Remembering that Kaoru wanted her pregnancy kept secret she had to make an excuse.

" She's just stressed. I know she hasn't been eating regularly, she's dehydrated too." Megumi told a little white lie, looking to the boys to see if they bought it. Yahiko looked satisfied with the answer. All the little boy wanted to know is if Kaoru was going to be okay and Megumi told him that she would be with a few days of rest.

" Looks like she's been putting on a couple pounds to me." Sanosuke interjected, not believing Megumi's excuse.

" Who's the doctor here, stupid rooster head? Just let me do my job and don't comment on my work." Megumi exclaimed trying to cover up the fact that he might be on to something. As an oath to Kaoru, she promised not to give any hints that she was pregnant, but if the guys found out then they found out. That's what happened last week, but what happened last night. Kaoru tried to remember but nothing was coming to her except for a letter she wrote and sighed with blood.

" Kaoru!? Kaoru are you awake?" asked the lady doctor.

" What happened?" Kaoru asked vacantly.

" You sliced your wrists. Luckily Yahiko stopped you before you did anything else." Megumi said as she began to change the soiled bandages. Megumi saw the look on Kaoru's face as she began cleaning the wound. The once energetic blue eyes were now a dull lifeless hue. Her smiles used to be from the heart but now she smiles so nobody would worry about her. Just like Kenshin. Megumi finished dressing the wound.

" Here. Eat up." Megumi said handing Kaoru a bowl of miso soup.

" I'm not hungry." the young girl sighed sadly.

" Just try to eat up. You are eating for two now." Megumi stated.

" I wish I wasn't. How could I have been so reckless? I don't know if I'll ever be able to love this baby without remembering how much pain it's brought me. I wish I could just end it all You don't know how hard it is to have someone you love..." Kaoru cried refusing to finish the rest of her sentence.

" I don't want to imagine how hard it is right now. Trust me I do know what it's like, but please just listen to me. That baby was made for a purpose and for whatever purpose I don't know, but if you at least let it live we can find that purpose together. We'll all help you through it, through thick and thin, we'll always be there to help you." Megumi said softly. It was silent for a while and finally Kaoru lifted her head and wiped her tears away.

" I'll leave you alone now." Megumi said placing a hand on Kaoru's shoulder. Kaoru smiled sorrowfully as if to say thank you. Megumi walked out of the room to where the boys were waiting.

" How is Jou-chan?" Sanosuke asked as the doctor shut the shoji screen.

" Not so good. She's getting worse. She won't eat and she's getting very dehydrated." Megumi sighed. She heard Yahiko mutter something about Kenshin. Kenshin didn't know how hard it was for all of them when he left. When Kenshin left he said he didn't know when he'd be back. He told everyone he was sorry that he had to go. Megumi could see that Sano was holding in his anger and it took all his self control to not sock Kenshin in the face. All he said was that he didn't care if Kenshin came back and it would be in his best interest if he didn't unless he wanted a futai no kiwami to the nose. With that he turned around and listened to the rest of Kenshin's goodbyes.

Yahiko didn't understand why Kenshin was leaving. He said that helping him and the others would be atonement enough for his sins. Kenshin explained that the scar on his face was still not gone and that his heart wouldn't be at rest until it was. The little boy said that was biggest load of bullcrap he heard. The boy probably agreed with Sano, but didn't voice his opinion, he just simply stated that he shouldn't come back.

Megumi remembered that she cried a little bit as he said goodbye. She couldn't quite remember Kaoru's reaction but she knew that the reason for her horrible condition was because of his departure. Though not all of her condition was horrible. She was about to give birth to a little child in 6 months. Kaoru couldn't keep it a secret forever the guys would find out soon anyway. She could understand why the girl was keeping it a secret. The girl was afraid that they would go on a rampage after they heard that she was pregnant with Kenshin's child.

" This is all Kenshin's fault." Yahiko stated bluntly. Sanosuke agreed and even Megumi had mixed feelings on the subject, though she didn't voice her opinion on the matter. They all heard the shoji screen run on it's track and saw Kaoru standing in the doorframe. She looked horrible. Her eyes were dull, red, and puffy with dark circles under them. Her hair in a messy unkept braid, her skin flushed and pale.

" It's not Kenshin's fault, it's mine. I shouldn't have been so reckless." she said silently afraid of the reaction she would recieve. She glanced around and saw the curious brown eyes of the boys and Megumi's serious gaze. Kaoru took a deep breath and continued.

" This is hard for me to tell you guys." she paused sniffing up tears. " 3 months ago, Kenshin and I spent the night together. Now I'm going to... I'm pregnant." She started crying and saying she was sorry. Yahiko and Sanosuke were shocked to hear the news. Not only did Kenshin leave her alone but he left her with a child.

" It's not Kenshin's fault. I don't know how I could have been so reckless. It's all my fault." she screamed.

" I'm not sure about all the technical stuff, but I'm pretty sure it takes two people to make a baby." Yahiko stated his shock now turning into pure rage.

" But I let him have me. I gave him everything."

" He shouldn't have taken advantage of a young girl." Sanosuke growled. " Sure he probably didn't think he would get you pregnant, but he wasn't thinking at all. Then making you feel all guilty. Bullsh*t!" Megumi shot him a warning with her eyes telling him that he had gone too far. He looked back at her, his eyes narrowed as if he was going to challenge her authority. Taken back by the look in his hazelnut brown eyes she decided to let him speak.

" If Kenshin wants to leave, let him. He can burn in hell for all I care. He should burn in hell for all the sh*t he's put you... no... us through. He can't decided to just up and leave expecting us to understand. If he ever comes back I'll... I'll..." the last part was a restrained yell of frustration.

" We don't need Kenshin! We got along fine without him before. If all we are is a burden to him then he doesn't need to come back. He can go along being the government's b*tch and kissing their asses for as long as he wants." Yahiko added in. " It's not like he hasn't left us behind before."

" But... I need him to be here. I feel like part of me is missing." Kaoru said softly afraid of another outburst. Kaoru shrunk back and started crying. " You guys aren't pregnant with his child. You guys can't imagine how it feels. " the room went silent.

" No, we can't and you shouldn't either." Kaoru couldn't tell who said it, but it sounded like a loud yell.

" You're not making this any easier, Sanosuke." Megumi warned.

" Am I that much of a burden to you, Sano?"

" No. It's just that... this is very hard to digest. I mean one minute we just have deal with Kenshin and now this." He sighed, Kaoru didn't find his comment convincing though.

" Well Kenshin's not here and he's not coming back, so get over it. All of you. We just can't go moping around here all the time, Kenshin wouldn't want us to do that." Megumi exclaimed. Kaoru nodded slowly while Yahiko and Sano merely scoffed. " We've got to forget about Kenshin. This isn't about him. This is about Kaoru and most importantly her unborn child. We're going to have to move on. It's going to take all of our strength to help Kaoru raise this child."

" But knowing that this child is Kenshin's too... I'm not ready for that kinda thing." Yahiko stated. " Yeah I'll help only because of the ugly raccoon girl, but it's not going to be easy."

" Nobody said life was going to be easy."

" It would be alot easier if some people weren't ruining it for the rest of us." the little boy scoffed refering to Kenshin. Kaoru's dull blue- gray eyes followed the kid as he walked out the door. The room went silent for a while, everyone trying to make sense of it all. Kaoru's knees drew up into her chest as she placed her head inbetween them.

" The shrimp is right. Look, I'll help out and stuff, but I'm not doing for Kenshin. He can burn in hell. It's not going to be easy looking at the kid of someone you don't like." Sano stated gravely trying very hard to choose his words wisely. (something he didn't do very often)

" Then you don't have to. You can barely take of yourself. All you are is a lazy good for nothing roosterhead." Megumi exclaimed not meaning to get riled up. It wasn't that he said he was going to help raise a child, (he'd probably be quite good at it), but the fact that he had all this animousity towards the rurouni, being in that kind of enviroment wasn't healthy for a child.

" Good for nothing? Yeah right. Maybe I should have let you kill yourself, that would show you, wouldn't it? We should have let you keep making drugs for Kannryu..." he was cut short by a louding slapping sound.

" Don't ever talk about that." the doctor hissed. Sano didn't mean to say that but the fact that she said he was good for nothing pissed him off. On top of Kenshin's leaving, and finding out that Kaoru was pregnant with the reformed manslayer's child, he didn't need all this. Sanosuke should have left when he had the chance. His cheek throbbed and he could tell that a nasty bruise was forming. He was about to say sorry but...

" I became a doctor to repent for my sins. I pledged my life that I would atone for my sins anyway that I can." Megumi yelled on the verge of tears.

" Just like Kenshin." Kaoru whispered. " One more sin to atone for."

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* A/n: This is based off a poem my friend gave me. It's very depressing and the story will be too. It's not going end up happy happy like all the other Kenshin leaves Kaoru pregnant stories. This is a darker story because I like angst more than WAFF. Read and Review and stay tuned.