Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Dig My Grave ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: 50cent

Dig My Grave By Rurouni Kohana Author #1

Chapter 2

The day was all too perfect. Perfect sky, perfect sun, perfect breeze, perfect world. But everything wasn't perfect. Kaoru stared out the window and absently placed her hands over her stomach. Our hearts they're beating as one. She thought. She rested her head on the window sill and listened to the tweeting of birds. One bird flew down to a nest of smaller birds and fed the little babies. They peeped happily as the mother fed them, the father bird quickly joined them. They were a perfect family. Why couldn't humans be the same way? As soon as things got rough they left and never came back. At least Kenshin was like that. Even if I did tell him, he probably would have left. All am is a burden. A burden to everybody. Megumi told her that she needed to eat more food and get more sleep. Megumi was filled with good advice about this thing.

Sanosuke was probably drinking himself into a stupor. That was his way to dull the pain. She wished she could be more like her friends, finding another way to easy the pain. Yahiko worked at the Akabeko, saving up his money for the baby. He didn't tease her anymore, but he felt guilty for saying all that stuff to her a few weeks ago. Megumi was busy tending to her many patients including Kaoru's weekly checkups. The baby was healthy, surprisingly, considering the state Kaoru was in. She still looked horrible, but not as much. Her hair was done in a regular ponytail, her eyes weren't as puffy and black, and her skin wasn't as pale as before.

Kaoru contemplated commiting suicide. Kenshin used to ber her passion, but now her only passion was death. Death seemed like ecstasy right now. Megumi said that they all needed to prove to themselves that they could function without Kenshin around. But she felt so empty. She only felt like She didn't think she could give her child the love and care it needed. Sure she could love her child, but a tiny stinge of hate, grief, and regret would stab her heart. But Sanosuke and Yahiko had a point.

Sano said that Kenshin shouldn't have taken advantage of her. Sure it wasn't like Kenshin knew he was a dad, but when you sleep with somebody that's something you kind have to assume. He also said that she was young and thought that what she wanted. For once in his life he had been right. She wasn't thinking straight, she thought that one night with Kenshin would make their relationship strong. She thought that a baby would make hers and Kenshin's life complete once she found that she was pregnant. She wanted to wait until they got married. But one thing led to another and now she was 3 months pregnant and already a single mother.

Yahiko was right too. It takes two to make a baby and it should take two to raise one. He said that all he could be was a big brother or an uncle, but only Kenshin could be the father and Kenshin wasn't here to do that. He said that he'd try his best to help out around the dojo by training students, donating his tips to the baby fund, and other things. He was really helpful for an 11 year old although he still made fun of her, but instead of getting mad she felt good. Not because he was calling her a fat ugly raccoon, because everything seemed to be adapting to this little surprise.

" Our hearts beating as one." she sighed to herself. Hers and Kenshin beating inside a child that they should have called their own. But it was just her child. She was going to be raising a child by herself. Sure she had Sano, Megumi, and Yahiko, but they weren't the same as a father. She knew what it was like to not grow up with a father for majority of her life. Our hearts... our blood raging through your veins... together as one.

" We'll sign this together." she said to herself. Blood ran down her finger as she wrote.

It's time to move on and stop loving, but I can't. I know it's foolish but I love you from the very pit of my soul and my heart. I feel like I'm wasting my time trying to get the same feelings from you. I'm trying to forget you, but I can't forget you. Everywhere I look you are there. I can hear your voice through the wind. I can see walking down that lonely path. I can taste your tender kisses. I can smell your very essence. I can feel your body next to mine, giving me the love I thought you had and taking the innocence I once possessed. If you're out there, Kenshin, you can't think of me now, I will not allow you to. Try to forget me. I know you won't have a hard time trying.

I've tried to forget but my heart won't let me, I'm still very much in love with you and your love is what fuels my every desire to live. Now that you don't love me there is nothing left for me to do. That's why I'm leaving this world. As I leave this world, if your heart won't let you forget me, remember that innocent girl who once would follow you to the ends of the earth. Remember the words you said to her and what she gave to you. Remember that she still loves you and still is hoping someday that you might love her too. So please if you find this please do this.

Dig my grave

Dig it deep

Bury me from head to feet

And on top place a dove

remember that we died for love.

She smiled as she looked at her paper. Signed in blood, the crimson ecstasy.

* * *

BOOM!! Another tree in the forest came crashing down. Sano growled in frustration as he sat down on the ground. He didn't know why he was taking this so hard. The past few days were overwhelming. Kaoru was like his little sister and to have her violated like that by the man he used to look up to. He would never forgive Kenshin. For once in his life he felt like crying. It was like Captain Sagara died 10 years ago. Sure he cried alot when his " father figure" was beheaded, but he wasn't bitter towards Captain Sagara.

But this was different. Not only had he felt betrayed, but Kenshin left behind another life. A little child was growing inside his "little sister's" belly. He couldn't think straight for that whole day and all the things he said were just a reflex. What could he have said to justify himself? Megumi had jumped all over him and chewed his head off. He deserved to be slapped, but he had a right to be angry. He wasn't just a good for nothing rooster head. That's what made him angry. He had grabbed the blade that Megumi was about to kill herself with. If he died today at least he made a change in somebody else's life.

Just then he came to a realization. Kenshin was wandering around trying to protect those he loved. And if Kenshin died today, at least he could rest easy knowing that his sins had been atoned for. But he wouldn't know unless the x shaped scar on his cheek went away. But Kenshin needed to be there for this child. He wasn't up to helping raise this child, but he and Yahiko had an obligation.

Sanosuke knew what it was like not growing up without a dad. His relationship with his own father wasn't that great and so he looked to the captain as positive role model. After Captain Sagara was beheaded it felt like his world would end. Later on he became a fighter for hire almost like a hitman with fists for guns. If it wasn't for Kenshin, he didn't know where he would be, he could have been shot, or in jail, or even dead. Sanosuke knew that this child wouldn't go down the same road he did, but he wanted to make sure that he didn't. He and Yahiko both. If Sano saw Kenshin again he'd ring his scrawny little chicken neck until his big redhead popped off like a badly made western rag doll. Sure he had to go atone for his sins but wouldn't raising a child calm his soul and the souls of the countless people he had slaughtered. If Kenshin could keep his child from following down the same path as he did then he could finally rest. Couldn't he?

Sano sighed. His head was all mixed up. Part of him wanted to kill Kenshin for leaving. Another part of him wanted to sympathize with the rurouni. He didn't know what happened in Kenshin's past, but it must have been very troubling if his heart couldn't rest after 10 years. Sano guessed that he felt sorry for the ex manslayer instead of hating him. As much as he was looking forward to this little child, he couldn't help but feel the anger rise inside him.

What was he going to say when that child asked him where its dad was? He couldn't give an honest answer without breaking the child's heart. And when the child took its first step? The first part of its journey. And the first word? The first love? Kenshin was going to miss out on everything, but it's not like he knew that he was going to be a father. But what if he did? Was that the reason why he left? Was Kaoru ever going to tell Kenshin that he was going to be a dad? And if she did would he come back? Would he ever be able to forgive Kenshin for leaving? He didn't know. He truly didn't know.

* *

Yahiko took a hard earned rest at the river bank. He stared at the blue sky. He wondered if Kenshin was watching the sky like he was? Kenshin. The man who used to be his role model now was someone he didn't even wish he knew. No. How could he think that, he owed everything to Kenshin, but he felt so betrayed. At least something good was coming out of this. He wasn't going to be the youngest anymore. Sure Dr. Gensai's granddaughters were around but now that they were old enough to go to school they barely came around. And Dr. Gensai that they were too energetic to keep up with and caused Kaoru more stress.

Kaoru had talked about alot crazy stuff lately like ending her life so she can go home and see her parents. She talked about the after life and finally meeting Kenshin's first wife. He was truly scared to hear her talk about stuff like that. About how the passion of love no longer excited her. He couldn't get the conversion out of his head.

" Kaoru, what are you talking about!" he yelled.

" Wouldn't that be wondeful, Yahiko. Me and the baby visiting all those people that... he killed. All the people those people that he's trying to save. They're all dead! What does it matter to them whether they live or die." she broke down and started crying. " But what matters now is the present and all the things he left behind. Why does he keep living in the past? Why can't he look at what he left behind in the present."

" He used to be my passion. My everything. He was the only thing that kept me living. Now that's he's gone, there's nothing worth living for. He used to be my passion, but now my only passion is death. Seeing my blood brings me into ecstasy. Running down my arm. Watching the life waste out of my body into a crimson puddle on the floor. Death is the only thing that excites me." she resited as if she were saying a poem. Her voice was monotoned and then cresendoed into screaming and yelling.

" Kaoru..." he didn't know what to do. He was shaking. This time he couldn't bandage up this wound. This was all in her mind, but it really scared him that time. And what if she did something crazy? He would never live it down. All this grief over Kenshin. Kenshin didn't deserve all this attention, even if it was negative. What needed to be their focus was keeping Kaoru from doing something crazy. Every night he could hear her crying. She would get sick, not only from morning sickness but lack of food. She threw up blood and saliva, nothing else. He offered her some leftovers from the Akabeko but she'd turn them down or half-heartedly eat them and end up vomitting afterward.

The Kenshin-gumi was unofficially broken up. Sanosuke and Megumi usually avoided each other or argued about irrelevant things. Sano barely came by the dojo anymore, probably the lack of free meals. The gangster did, however, donate some of his gambling money to the baby fund. Outside of that he just stayed in his part of town probably venting his anger by gambling or drinking or knocking down trees.

Yahiko wondered why his friends were acting so indifferently to each other. What did they say after he left? He heard yelling but he left as soon as the yelling got louder. Megumi seemed to recover from this the fastest, yelling at everyone for moping around, but it wasn't that easy. Kaoru needed as much help as she could get and they were more than willing to help her, but she didn't accept anything. They knew she was trying, but the stress was too much for her to handle and too much for them as well. Just imagine how stressful it would be when the baby was born.

" Yahiko!" Tsubame called out. Since Kenshin left Tsubame tried her very best to drop the " little" and the "chan". The boy proved that he could take care of a house and a pregnant teacher, and that proved he wasn't so little anymore. She was trotting along carrying a basket.

" Yahiko-ch... Yahiko, Tae said you can have the rest of the day off so you can take care of Miss Kaoru. Here's a basket of food for you and Miss Kaoru too." the shy little girl said handing him the basket.

" Thanks alot, I'll try to get her to eat it."

" Oh, she still won't eat. Maybe Mr. Sanosuke will eat it."

" Yeah right. He hasn't been around since that big arguement. Oh well more for us."

" Us?"

" Yeah us. Um... why don't you join me and Kaoru for dinner tonight. I'm sure she'll be glad to see you." Yahiko stated with a little blush reaching his face. A blush was reaching hers too.

" But I... I don't think..."

" I'm sure Tae will understand. Just come on she'll be glad to see you." Yahiko said yanking her hand and running to the dojo.

* *

" Kaoru! Where are you, ugly?" Yahiko yelled. Tsubame squeaked as she looked on the floor. The floorboards looked as if they were washed in blood. The blood trailed in splotchs down the hall where they heard singing. It was hauntingly beautiful. Yahiko and Tsubame followed the singing and the trail of blood, still unconciously holding hands. They saw the young woman sitting on the next to the window sill, a metal item flashing in the sunlight.

" Kaoru. What the hell are you doing?" the boy yelled again rushing up to her. Her hands were covered in blood and there were slashes all over her arm. It soaked through her kimono, indicating that she had stabbed herself in the chest and various other places. Tsubame gasped and held in a muffled scream dropping the basket of food on the ground. Blood dripped from Kaoru's mouth as tears ran down her cheeks. Yahiko started panicking trying to control the urge to vomit.

" What's wrong with her?" Tsubame managed to squeak out. She was trembling and crying. There was so much blood and it wasn't stopping. It just kept gushing like a crimson rivulet down her arm into the ocean on the floor.

" Tsubame, go get help." the boy yelled. The little girl stood there for a moment before he yelled at her again. On her way out she crashed into a tall lanky gangster.

" Mr. Sagara!" She piped.

" What's wrong?" he asked knowing that this was serious.

" It's Miss Kaoru, she's injured herself and she's bleeding very badly." she cried.

" Go to the clinic and get the doctor." he said. The little girl ran as fast as her legs would carry her. Sano ran inside noticing the blood on the floor. He shuddered. He saw Yahiko tying ripped up clothes to her wounds, frantically.

" It won't stop bleeding! It won't stop bleeding!" Yahiko exclaimed repeatedly, Kaoru's soft singing in the background.

"I tried to kill the pain,

But only brought more.

(So much more)

I'm dying,

And I'm pouring, crimson regret, and betrayal." she sang softly.

" Kaoru! Try to hang on!" Sanosuke yelled but she shook her head. His voice cracked as he violently shook her, trying to bring her into reality. " Snap out of it. Megumi's coming just hold on."

As if on cue, Megumi showed up with Tsubame frantically crying behind her. The woman doctor went immediately to work re-wrapping Yahiko's makeshift bandages. She used some antiseptic and cleaned the wounds. The doctor noticed some more wounds all over her body. There were slashes on her legs and her abdomen. She really wanted to kill herself and the baby. And she had suceeded. Kaoru's singing was still echoing through the halls. Like a haunting lullaby sung by a ghost. It sent chills up everybody's spine.

" Is she going to be alright?" everyone asked when Megumi appeared to be finished. Megumi looked around at their faces. Their emotions shown in their eyes. Yahiko's were filled with concern, Tsubame's flooded with tears, and Sano's were filled with seriousness.

" If Yahiko wouldn't have found her..." Megumi trailed off.

" That's not what we asked. We asked if she's was going to be alright? Yes or no?" Sanosuke exclaimed.

" She's lost alot of blood and the seriousness of her injuries..." There was no need to go on. The aura changed, everyone was filled with a mix of sadness and anger. Megumi was waiting for someone to explode, but instead all she heard was breathing. She heard Kaoru's shallow breaths and her faint singing. Her singing didn't stop. Kaoru's face was filled with tears and her dull eyes staying vacantly ahead, her mouth curved into a faint smile. She was in her own little world. Everyone stood still, time seemed to stand still as well. Her song echoing through the halls like a lifeless melody, haunting the souls of the countless people he slaughtered. Those listening having the words engraved in their mind never to forget the words.

" My God! My Tourniquet,

Return to me salvation.

My God! My Tourniquet,

Return to me salvation.

My wounds cry for the grave.

My soul cries, for deliverance.

Will I be denied ?

Christ! Tourniquet! My suicide."

A/n: Is this dark or what? The little song that Kaoru was singing was a song called "Tourniquet" by Evanescence. I didn't put the whole song because this story is already long enough. I like this story and I love Evanescence. Anyway please leave a review and tell me what you think.