Fallen Embers

By: Gakkuri Naishinnou {Formerly Naishinnou}

Chapter 1: The Beginning of Her Troubles

Disclaimers: Two things that should be known, me no own, you no sue. = )

A.N.:: The title has changed, obviously and I edited the summary too. Um, the title is here to stay and I won't change it anymore, considering the first one sounded so…corny. This is my second Rurouni Kenshin fic, though my other one isn't posted. I know minna-sama's got to be angry at me for starting yet another one of my senseless fics. This will be a Kaoru/Kenshin fic. Not a Tomoe/Kenshin, sorry to disappoint anyone. And it is set before the Jinchuu Arc, so Kaoru has no knowledge what-so-ever of Tomoe's existence. Next, this is another one of those, Kaoru goes back to the Bakumatsu in hopes of changing the past for Kenshin kind of fic. Yeah, yeah, I know, OVERUSED plot, but hey, you can't blame me for having such a tight schedule I can't think straight, ne? BUT, this fic will be unique. How? You'll just have to wait and see. {Insert evil laughter} Bwahahahaha!! {Continues for a few minutes and someone throws a tomato at her} ::Coughs and blushes:: Well, it'll at least be different since Kaoru and Kenshin are NOT getting married…yet and some other things. And I've re-edited this fic again. (If you would like a really good read, try looking up Miyu Sakura-Sama, of course everyone must know her already)This time, Kenshin will refer to himself as 'I'. Unless I make him say a whole sentence in Japanese. Hehe, um, anyway, on with the fic?

~*~*~*~*~*

Dear Diary,

It's me, Kaoru, yeah, like you didn't know. I'm so frustrated today. I feel like I'm going to throw a tantrum, and no, it's not that time of the month. Not only has Yahiko-CHAN called me names, insulted me, done the daily ritual in other words, but I feel like my new family is going to fall apart. Heh, that's funny. I never thought that it'd last this long. First, there's Megumi, aka, Kitsune. To put it easily, she's advancing on MY prey on MY territory! What do I mean by that? She was flirting with Kenshin the whole time she was over! {What else is new?} Kitsune-baka. And she did it in front of me! The nerve of her! Not only that, but she cooked dinner WITH Kenshin, AND it actually tasted good…Life isn't fair! I bet Otou-san would tell me, 'Life isn't fair, get used to it.' Otou-san, you're so mean!

Now, there's Yahiko, I made him do a couple of hundred swings, for that prank he pulled on me. Before Megumi was here, Yahiko saw me looking around, ok, staring over at Kenshin, okay, okay, drooling over him, practically {happy now?}, and he decided to do the worst thing ever. He jumped me, and I tripped around, trying not to lose my balance with the wild monkey all over me, and I happened to wander over to Kenshin, while trying to pry Yahiko off, and Kenshin came to help me. BIG MISTAKE. I fell over the washtub where Kenshin was doing the laundry, the same time Yahiko jumped off of my back, I fell into the water, taking the nearest thing with me, which, unluckily, or fortunately for me, was Kenshin. He came toppling over with me into the water. The water soaked us and we ended up in 'that' position, but he was clinging on to the clothesline so I wouldn't fall so hard on the ground {since he was on top of me}. Was it out of luck or not, it happened to be my 'under garment.' He blushed and accidentally let go, he fell straight on top of me, and our lips met. Now, I wouldn't mind that, heck, I was enjoying it, until the front gate opened, Sano and Megumi walked in, I realized what was happening. I got up at that moment exactly. I looked under me, and Kenshin was squirming under me, my panties stuck in his mouth. Oh boy.

As if things could get worse, they did. Kits- I mean, Megumi, took Kenshin to examine him if he got some head injury or not, since he had a nasty bump on his head, form yours truly, and his face was uncharacteristingly bright red, I secretly wondered if he was going to burst. Anyway, I followed Megumi a bit and she said not to follow her anymore, since she needed to remove, "Ken-san's clothes." Of course, the next scene wasn't pretty, and I used my new colorful vocabulary I learned form Sano {not like I didn't know them already}. And Kenshin 'oro-ed' the whole time. Next, Megumi dragged him in, stripped him, literally, since I could hear his weak protest, and her loud, "Ohohohohohoho, you're so muscular Ken-san. I wonder if you're like that, everywhere…" I could almost picture her fox ears at that moment. She IS evil, no doubt about it. Then, she said, "Stop squirming Ken-san, it's not like I've never seen you like this before." Now, that, was the end of the straw. I barged in, and the sight that greeted me, I didn't know, whether to laugh, or die of embarrassment. Kenshin was hiding beneath a small chair, and he was red…all over, I mean, all over. The only place I wasn't sure about…y'know what, I won't even go there. Needless to say, I got the h** out of there.

I feel as if the gods are against us, they must love toying with Kenshin and me. But through all of this, I have to say that Kenshin, has the crummiest luck. EVER. It also didn't help either with Sano's teasing, Yahiko's hysterical laughter, he's a mad man, I mean, mad BOY, both of them need psychological help, can't they understand that Kenshin and I need time to confide to ourselves after this horrible day?

After this whole mess, Sano asked for money to go gambling, being the horribly nice person I am, I, of course, said no. Who does he think I am? A millionaire?! He needs to learn to get a job, instead of freeloading on others. Now he's probably adding to the tab over at the Akabeko, I feel bad for Tsubame, he's probably teasing her about Yahiko, since he asked her out. Mou, even Yahiko, of all the idiots of the world, had the nerve to do that. What is so hard about it? Kenshin-no-baka! What's he wasting his time on? I can't wait for him forever. Just watch, I'll make him admit his feelings to me, it's quite obvious he likes me, hmm, I got an idea. I'll seduce him! Hehe, watch out Kenshin, here I come! This day hasn't been that bad after all. ^____^

Kaoru

~*~*~*

Sanosuke chuckled to himself as he closed Kaoru's diary. "Feh, about time she does something. But I'm going to have to talk to her about the 'freeloading' s***. I'm not a freeloader, and I certainly DO NOT need a job. But maybe I can give her a head start on all this, as a favor I guess. I never knew Kaoru thought about all this stuff, I should wander into her room more often looking for money." >= ) Sanosuke got out of Kaoru's room, but before he did that, he securely tucked the diary back into place a crept away silently.

Sanosuke walked toward Kenshin, a mysterious smile, no smirk on his face. "Yo, Kenshin," he greeted his friend.

Kenshin turned to his friend, his rurouni grin plastered on his face, "Ohayo Sano, what brings you here today de gozaru ka?"

"Ah, just here to talk to you about personal matters," He said, walking towards Kenshin and lifted him up with a hand.

"Oro?" Kenshin replied, soap buds lingering on his hands.

Sanosuke set him down, and sat next to him, and seemingly out of nowhere, a fish bone appeared in his mouth. "About you and Jo-Chan. Kenshin, I for one, think that you should make your move on her. NOW."

"ORO?!" Kenshin looked at Sanosuke, confusion evident on his face.

"Look, she ain't gonna wait forever. So, you make your move on her now, before it's too late."

"Demo Sano, sessha and Kaoru-dono-"

"Sessha this, sessha that. I don't give a d*** about formalities, and 'Kaoru-dono' doesn't either. Can't you see, that she loves you. You love her. Now get off your lazy butt and kiss her!"

"ORO?! Sessha doesn't love Kaoru-dono, that I don't! And besides, sessha already kissed her." The slightest hue of pink, shown on his face. "And sessha isn't worthy of her, even if I do like her or not. I've killed many or peop-"

"Kenshin, do me a favor and just cut the 'I'm worthless s*** and I've killed many cr*p. If you think that Jo-Chan and I cared about your past at all, do you think we'd let you stay here, and jeopardize our lives? Can't you see? She doesn't care about it, that's rare in a person. And we know you've killed many, but we don't care. The past is the past, we can't change a thing about it. So, you get you're a** up there to Jo-Chan's room and kiss her like you've never kissed anyone before. Che, I even think you should take lessons form Yahiko-Chan-"

An, "I heard that," came from Yahiko's room as he soon stepped out of his room. He then joined the group. "I'm not little!" He retorted. And soon, WWIII began.

"Maa, maa," Kenshin stated, hands in front of him.

Both turned to him, "Shut up!"

Kenshin wisely did so. And finally the bickering died down. "Anyway, as I was saying before rooster-head rudely interrupted, woman are like cats, pet 'em a little here and a little there, and they're happy. Add some compliments, and whoala, they're yours," Yahiko said proudly.

Kenshin scratched his head. And Sanosuke burst out laughing. "Hahaha! That's funny! Since when did you become the love expert? You're almost a decade younger than me! I, am the REAL love expert."

"Heh, that's funny. Could you please tell, oh, mighty love expert, who, you have in love with you?"

"Easy, Kitsune. I have her wrapped around my finger."

"Or is it the other way around rooster-head?"

"Why you-"

"I'm very thankful that you've both decided to help me, however, but there's something you both don't understand. The two of you think that I won't admit my feelings for Kaoru-dono because I feel that I'm unworthy, stained, and such and such. But that's truly not the issue. It's not that I can't find the words to say it, or that I'm too shy, but that maybe I don't really love her. Everyone thinks that we have a special relationship. But I've only thought of her as a younger sister."

"Y-You're lying!" Yahiko abruptly said.

"I wish I was. But there's so many complications. Things like the age gap-"

Now it was Sanosuke's turn to speak. "How could you hold that against her?!"

"I'm not sure if you'd like to marry someone a decade younger than you are. And I don't want to get tied down to a place. Without me, without the chaos and killers that follow me, she'd be safe. That doesn't mean that I love her though. My ideal wife is just like any others- She should behave properly, she should be able to cook, she should be feminine, and she shouldn't hit people on the head with buckets. It's not that I'm not getting married to atone for my sins, actually, it has nothing to do with that. But have you ever thought that maybe it's because I haven't met that 'one special person'?"

Everyone fell silent as they heard something clatter to the floor. None of them turned their heads to look. They knew who it was.

Yahiko abruptly got up. He couldn't believe it, the man who saved him from the yakuza, the man who saved him from Kaoru's tirade when she was angry, the man who helped bring forth this new era, was saying this. Was denying his feelings for, as much as he hated saying it, his motherly figure. "Why-why did you say that? You knew she was there. You KNEW she was there!" As Kenshin remained silent, Yahiko got angrier. "Aren't you going to say anything?! I never cared much for busu's feelings, but out of all of us, you should know her the most, why did you have to say that? You should be ashamed. I'm sorry I ever looked up to you," he said harshly as he walked off.

"Why did you say it? I know you were lying. You do love her." Sanosuke finally said, after seeing Kenshin's downcast face.

"It's best she hates me know, than to hate me later, when she falls deeper. I know that this whole feeling is reciprocal, so I must end it now. I know that that's selfish, but it's better to stop the relationship now, then to let it grow into something…more. Into something that I, nor Kaoru-dono can control."

"But isn't that what love is? To fall so much in love that your heart rules your head? To rely on your trust in each other than reasons?"

"But doing so only brings death…" he said painfully, bringing his hand up to his scarred cheek.

Once more, he was at lost for words. Kenshin was right, he knew, but he was still shocked at what he had said. Sanosuke got up and muttered a few curse words. And Kenshin was left alone to do the laundry. "Gomen Nasai…Kaoru…" He whispered to himself.

~*~*~*

"No! This is not happening! He just didn't say that! He didn't- he didn't mean it, I was just hearing things, it was all an illusion. B-But it felt so real…I'm just confused! It couldn't be the truth, he's lying, yes, he's lying, h-he couldn't be saying that I-" Kaoru choked out as she tried to contain her tears. She leaned against the wall as she slid down to the floor. "NO! Kaoru, pull yourself together!" She said abruptly, slamming her fist on the wooden floor, emitting a soft crack. "Kenshin wouldn't do that to you! He wouldn't! He isn't like that!" Denial, her mind seemed to scream at her. "No-no! He loves me! He does! He's just telling me that! He doesn't mean that!" Liar, it cried at her. "Please stop! I-I can't stand anymore of this! Yamero!" She pleaded to no one in particular, but to the emptiness in her heart. "I know, I know that I'll never be the wife-like figure, I know, but I'll try, I'll try to change. Just give me a try. I'll go to cooking school, I learn to control my temper, I won't yell anymore, I won't hit anyone on the head! I'll be more feminine…Just please, don't tell me that you don't-that you don't-" He doesn't love you. "No!" Kaoru protested slamming her injured fist onto the floor once more, tears now streaming down her face. "I'll be stronger, I won't need you to rescue me. I won't cry, I won't! Kaoru! You can't cry! You have to stop! You'll be weaker! You can't cry!" 'The tears won't stop though…They just won't…' She thought to herself as she gave out another tormented cry.

"Why? Why am I crying for him? He isn't worth the tears. He isn't. He shouldn't affect me so much, he shouldn't be able to turn me into mush when he smiles at me…He shouldn't be able to make me cry my heart out with a few words. This isn't like me. This isn't the strong girl who stood up against the bullies, this isn't the girl who stood up against Gohei, this isn't- this isn't…me. How can he change my life so much? This can't go on. I don't like being a frail girl in love. I can't cry over him…He's just- just-" Your life…

Her heart was falling apart, she knew it. No matter how much she would deny it, she already fallen too deep in love. "Where am I now? Where do I stand in his life? A friend? A sister? A…weakness? I don't want to be any of those. I want to find myself, I want…I want to find someone he would love me as." And with that thought in mind, she fell asleep, tears still stained her face. Outside, the wind seemed to howl its approval.

~*~*~*

"Where am I?" Kaoru asked herself as she surveyed around her surroundings. 'This doesn't look anywhere like the dojo…or even Tokyo for that matter…' Her thoughts were scrambled when the door opened. She gasped, "Kenshin!"

~*~*~*

A.N.: So, how did minna-sama think it was? Good, bad? Criticism would be great. And please review and tell me if I should continue or not. Oh, and have a Happy New Year!