Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Honest Nothing ❯ Infinite Wisdom, Infinite Sorrow ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, and its kinda hard to say who does, since they were real people…does that mean that they own themselves…..ahhh, oro? Aiko belongs to ione_girl, I took your character from you baka sessha. Bwahahahaha, but I did twist her to fit my story, thank you! Come again!

A/N: So its really short, but well, I got stuck, and am suffering from writers block. Tee hee, Enjoy!!

I would like to dedicate this story to my little sister, Jeri Diane Tout, for giving me the inspiration that I have.

Oh, and to those of you who want to know, the poem I have is a big metaphor for this story.

~ ~ Means beginning of a flashback

~ ~ * * Means the ending of the flashback

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Honest Nothing

Chapter One:

Infinite Wisdom, Infinite Sorrow

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Nothing Gold Can Stay"

Nature's first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower;

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.

~ Robert Frost

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

HER STORY,

"I can't!"

"You must choose."

"No!"

"You must!"

"WHY!"

"Listen to me, you are disgracing the family. You must chose between the two, you can't have them both!"

"How could you…"

* * * * ~ ~ ~ ~

HIS STORY,

"I don't understand?"

"I don't love you."

"That's not true! I know its not…"

"I don't love you."

" . . . "

"Good bye . . . "

" . . . Good bye . . . "

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was raining again, seeming to wash away the filth that had gathered in the streets. Revitalizing what appeared to be dead. He loved the rain, and yet he loathed it at the same time. How such a beautiful thing could seem so eerily sorrowful. When he was younger, untouched by the path he had yet to follow, he would spend hours walking in it. Marveling at how it seemed to wash away the pain inside him.

He didn't regret the path he had chosen, and why should he. Why would he regret the past, when there was nothing he could do to change it. Set in stone, it was like a story to be told to future generations. Oh the hours he had spent in contemplation, planing battle strategy and building fortifications.

His inner thoughts we interrupted by a soft tap on his door. He pushed his thoughts out of his mind as he gracefully moved to open the door. He should have been surprised to see the figure who now stood in front of him, but oddly enough, he had almost expected it. This one person who had once stood for all the good in him, this one person who he had loved so deeply.

"Aiko," He acknowledged with a curt nod. Their past, though intermeshed with both pain and happiness, only stood as a constant reminder of possible pasts and futures.

"Okita," The hidden contempt almost saddened her. She knew he was trying to hide it, but she knew him two well, had spent too many hours with him to know the subtle indifferences. Yes, she also saw the hurt in his eyes as he looked upon her. And she knew that she was the one who had placed that hurt in him. She was the one who had caused much of the misery in his life. But the past could not be undone, could never be replayed to form a happier ending. And so now she stood in front of him, trying to remember what it was that she had come here to say.

Okita, though slightly confused, invited her to come in, for surely she was cold from being out side. Aiko, being in the mind that she had one last thing to say to him, greatly accepted the invitation, and soon found herself nestled comfortable beside a fire.

He knew she had something to say, her emotions always played across her features. But that was the way she was, she either didn't know how to, or decided not to, keep her emotions hidden. To him, it seemed like a false visage of innocence. He almost hated to admit it, but it was one of the many qualities that had drawn him to her.

She felt uncomfortable, like she didn't belong. Such a funny feeling really, for honestly, she knew she didn't. But she knew that something had been left unspoken this whole time, since she had left. Left, such an uncanny way to put it really, for surely, she had had no say in the matter. Her time was running out though, she couldn't dawdle around.

"Okita, I…"

Something over came him then, he didn't want her to say what she had come to say. It scared him. For some unfathomable reason he wasn't quite sure of, he didn't want to see her walk away again. He hated the feeling, knew he should have some bitterness inside him towards her, but it just wasn't in him. The moments spent with her he cherished, embracing them closely to his person. And yet, he had every reason to have just left her standing outside his door, freezing.

"Would you care for some tea, Aiko?"

His pleasantries surprised her. It was almost like the days before the tragedy had stuck them down. And for a second, she allowed herself to fall into the sweetness of when they would both sit outside, cuddled against each other under a warm blanket. Just gazing out at the stars, wondering what life had instore for them. Oh, but such sweet bliss could be torn away with a single word, a single threat, a single person.

Taking a deep breath, Aiko prepared to say what she had come to say. "Okita, I have something I need to tell you. Words, that have been left unsaid for far to long."

Closeing his eyes and letting out a mental sigh, Okita prepared himself for the explanation as to why she had so suddenly appeared at his door. Had it really been so long that she once spoke of this place as her home too? Nine years, nine long years, and through it all, not a single word she sent him. And so he questioned, what could have brought her back? What was wrong?

Opening his eyes he locked them with hers, a silent request that she continue.

The moment was upon her then, and she felt as though she was looking through a mirror. Wasn't she the one who had sat him down and told him she didn't love him anymore? The memories rushed though her then, a wave of saddened desperation.

~ ~

How could her father force this onto her? It just wasn't fair. Wasn't she also entitled to happiness? At that moment, she learned how much she really loved this man infront of her, and how her life would seem almost meaningless without him.

Her sad eyes looked into his worried ones, pleading that they understand the situation she was in. She couldn't have them both, and had already chosen the path she would follow.

~ ~ * *

It all seemed like a bad dream, a nightmare of sorts, that wouldn't end, even after she opened her eyes. She questioned her sanity then. Could she really tell him that she had had no choice, that she still loved him? And yet, even after she finished bearing out her soul to him, she would have to leave once more. Would he even believe her? Did he still love her enough to forgive the terrible misdeed she had dealt him? Such questions filtered though her mind as she fought off the need to fall into his lap and cry.

Stilling her eyes, she forced herself to explain.

"My father found me, told me he had learned of what was between me and you from the market gossips. He told me," It hurt reliving the memory, but she knew he had to know, know that it wasn't his fault. "He told me that if I proceeded with the life I was living I would disgrace the family. That I had to chose."

~ ~

"I can't!" It was a desperate plea, and she knew it, but the reality seemed so curl.

"You must choose."

"No!" She cried out to her father. He couldn't make her leave! Her future lay with Okita, and there was nothing she would allow him to do to change that.

"You must!" His normally cold eyes seemed to come to life then, angered that his successor would disobey his orders. He wouldn't have that, he felt compelled to put her in her rightful place, by his side, till the day came when she would take over his legacy.

"WHY!" She yelled out. Why was this happening to her? She was happy with the new life she found with Okita.

"Listen to me, you are disgracing the family. You must chose between the two, you can't have them both!"

"How could you…" She gave in then, knew that her world had just caved in around her. Left her buried beneath, alone in the darkness with her only source of light extinguished.

~ ~ * *

She smiled sadly for him there. Now she had to tell him what exactly she had to choose between.

"Okita, there may be something you don't really understand . . ."

He didn't hear her words, was too angered that her father had made her choose between him and her family. He clenched his hands as realization dawned on him. Of course she had left him for her family, though she had rarely spoke of her father, he could see behind the mask how much she loathed him. But even through all the malice she held for him, there were others in her family that were most dear to her. For the first time in awhile, he wanted to scream, pick up his sword, and teach someone, anyone, a lesson or two.

"I was pregnant, Okita. I had to choose between you or our baby."

~ ~

"How could you…" She gave in then, knew that her world had just caved in around her. Left her buried beneath, alone in the darkness with her only source of light extinguished.

"This is your fault I'll have you know. It's because of you and your misbegotten child that you must chose! That such curl things have come to pay you a visit."

She could tell that he took some kind of sick pleasure at her dispense. That he was laughing at her. Well, if there was one thing she wouldn't give him, it was the satisfaction of watching her fall.

"As you wish." She whispered eerily at him. Her once tearful eyes now held a determined light to them. His time would come soon enough, and when that time came, she would be at the sidelines. A sinister sinker plastered on her face with the knowledge that he couldn't stop her once he was gone.

~ ~ * *

His breath left him then, he felt constricted. He couldn't breath, he need air. Jumping up he hurried outside. The clouds still gathered in the sky, but the rain had stopped. He stared out across the land, searching desperately for something, anything. Not finding whatever it was he wanted, he looked over his shoulder to find Aiko still nestled comfortable in the warm blanket. She was just sitting there, calmly looking at the place he previously was occupying, as if waiting for his return.

The next words she spoke shocked him, stilled him to the core. Sounding as if full of infinite wisdom, but knowing also infinite sorrow.

"Come back Okita, my story doesn't end there."

"Aiko, please," The pain in his chest closed a heated hand around his heart. "Please tell me the whole story, from before you met me."

She turned her head in his direction while her eyes studied him, gauging his sincerity. And she must have found something she liked, maybe a lingering hope that the future could become bright again.

"As you wish, from the beginning it is."

Almost pleased that he would finally know the whole truth, he closed the door and returned back to his set. However, the look he saw in Aiko's eyes left no room for doubt that in his pain, she had suffered far worse.

And he knew too, that whatever secrets she had kept hidden form him all this time, were about to be laid bare.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So there you have it folks, the first chapter to my story "Honest Nothing." I really hope you liked it. I had fun writing this, it was a new experience for me. OH, and I really love that poem by Robert Frost, even used the title as my class motto. Tee hee!

Well then readers, till next chap it is,

inca