Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Shards of Me ❯ Third Interlude: The Girl Who Wasn't ( Chapter 9 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the property of Nobuhiro Watsuki. The main plotline of this story is completely fictional. Situations should in no way be considered truthful or based on real events. Political opinions expressed in the story are mine. If you do not agree with said opinions, do not flame me for them. Do not stoop so low as to berate me for what I hold to be truthful. Some smaller side stories may be based on factual events. I will alert you if they are.
 
Warnings: Strong language and decided OOC-ness. (I did warn you in the previous chapter that this was coming. Those who love canon storylines twined in AU universes…let's just say this will not be your favorite chapter.)
 
Shards of Me
 
Third Interlude: The Girl Who Wasn't
 
“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Kenshin. Happy birthday to you.”
 
“And many mooooooooore…” Sano bellowed over the rest, his tone-deaf addition making most of them cringe.
 
“Hurry up and blow out the candles, idiot. Can't be properly legal without that, can you?”
 
“Thanks, shishou. I'm glad your heart's in the right place.”
 
“Make a wish and blow them out already, Kenshin,” Kaoru said, smiling brightly as Kenshin turned to the cake.
 
Kenshin took a deep breath and blew, most of the candles going out instantly.
 
“Geez Kenshin, I knew you were full of hot air, but…” Sano was cut off as Kaoru elbowed him in the ribs.
 
“Try and have a little tact, will you?”
 
Kenshin finished off the candles and his small group of friends clapped as he grinned up at them. A moment later, Hiko flipped on the lights and handed a carving knife over to Kenshin to cut the cake. “Happy birthday, Kenshin.”
 
“Thanks, Hiko.”
 
“Now, start packing your things. You're eighteen. That means you can move out.”
 
Sano and Misao studied Hiko with trepidation, clearly believing the giant man's statement.
 
“Guys,” Kaoru intoned at them, “he's kidding.”
 
“Oh…I mean, yeah. Right.”
 
As they bantered, Kenshin cut the first piece of cake and stood. Everyone quieted as he approached his girlfriend of six months.
 
Kaoru had never been exactly clear on the details of how Kenshin met Tomoe, but she remembered the distinctly the first time he'd introduced her to their close-knit circle. The girl was older than Kenshin by three years and all of them were leery of her icy appearance and slightly disdainful expression. Kaoru generally tried to avoid hating people on sight, but Tomoe had been an exception to that rule. From the get go, there was a kind of subtle competition between them two of them. Tomoe saw Kaoru as competition for Kenshin's affections and Kaoru saw Tomoe as the woman who turned her best friend into something he was not.
 
Kenshin spent less time with their circle and started hanging more with Tomoe's friends. He began partying a little more and a little harder, coming to Kaoru's house on more than one occasion to sit out drunkenness until he was safe enough to drive home. Kaoru had expressed quiet concern for Kenshin's changes, but had refrained from instigating any real fights. She was afraid of appearing as though she was simply trying to break up Kenshin and Tomoe, especially because Kenshin sensed the unease between the two girls.
 
Kaoru snapped back to the present as Kenshin began to speak.
 
“Tomoe, I've loved having you with me these past six months. You're a wonderful woman and I just want you to know that I care about you.”
 
He offered her the cake and she took it, setting it aside so she could pull him into a kiss. “Happy birthday, sweetheart,” she told him, her sentiment just not quite reaching her eyes. Kaoru was not the only one who looked less than happy at this display. None of their circle was overly fond of Tomoe and Sano and begun calling her the Frigid Bitch in Kenshin's absence.
 
“Thank you, Tomoe,” Kenshin murmured, before turning and cutting another slice of cake. Kaoru felt a stab of guilt for her less than charitable feelings towards Tomoe. The older woman did make Kenshin happy, if nothing else.
 
Kenshin approached her with his next slice cake and she felt the blush immediately spring to her cheeks. “Kaoru, you've been my friend for five years now, but it seems like so much longer. Know how much I've appreciated having you there with me through thick and thin, even when I was being an ass.”
 
He handed off the cake to her and kissed her cheek before she even knew what was happening. She felt her ears fire, a sure sign that the entirety of her visible skin was approximately the color of a beet. She stared dumbly at the cake in hand before glancing back up at Kenshin's retreating back. Over his shoulder, she saw Tomoe and her embarrassment quickly dissolved in light of other, similarly unpleasant emotions.
 
Tomoe was glaring at her with all the ice she could muster. Kaoru felt the hatred in that glare, and nearly shied away before remembering herself. She met Tomoe glare for glare and squared her shoulders, standing proudly. She felt Aoshi move in close to her shoulder and took comfort in his solid strength as he provided back-up against the older woman. Tomoe huffed and turned away as Kenshin presented another slice to Hiko. The tension was broken and Kaoru allowed her attention to return to the main event, quietly murmuring thanks to Aoshi as she did so.
 
Kenshin continued handing out slices of cake, saying a few grateful words to his friends with each slice. Finally, he took his own slice and Hiko popped a bottle of champagne, insisting that even though the teens, save Tomoe, were all underage, they deserved a little taste on this night in the name of celebration.
 
Some time later, they were all in the parlor dividing time between playing Misao's Dance Dance Revolution and Sano's Guitar Hero. Those not engaged in a video game were telling embarrassing stories at Kenshin's expense just to see how red he would turn. Hiko motioned to Kaoru as she stepped away from her turn at DDR and she sidled over.
 
“This has been great, Hiko. You know he really appreciates it.”
 
“I know, Kaoru. I was just wondering how you're doing. That was some serious anger flying between you and Tomoe.”
 
Kaoru blushed and ducked her head slightly. “Oh…you noticed.”
 
“I'm amazed Kenshin didn't notice, it was that bad.”
 
“I'm fine, Hiko. Tomoe just has difficulty believing that there's nothing but friendship between Kenshin and me, and it's a rubbing spot for her.”
 
“I see. Well, try not to let her get to you. Frankly, I'd prefer you over her.”
 
“Hiko!”
 
“It's the truth. At least you know how to smile.”
 
“You are a very bad man.”
 
“Aren't I?” he laughed. “Now, do me a favor and go pull out some more chips. Sano inhaled that last bag all by himself.”
 
Kaoru smiled and nodded, ducking off to the kitchen. She'd just located the last bag of Dorito's when she heard footsteps behind her. She straightened and turned, a smile on her face, but the smile quickly melted when she saw who was giving her company.
 
Tomoe leaned against the doorframe, an ugly sneer on her face.
 
“Tomoe,” Kaoru said curtly, moving to duck past the older woman. An arm across the doorframe stopped her.
 
“What do you think you're playing at?”
 
“I don't know what you're talking about.”
 
“That little display with Kenshin earlier. Bet you loved that didn't you. You're pathetic…the way you pine after him.”
 
“Tomoe, there is nothing between Kenshin and me beyond friendship.”
 
“But you want there to be more don't you, you little skank?”
 
Kaoru frowned and snapped to her full height, her senses immediately going into combat mode as she prepared to lay one into Tomoe.
 
“I don't know where you get off, Tomoe. I care for Kenshin a great deal, but nothing in me would ever want to disturb the happiness he's found with you, no matter how much of a frigid bitch I think you are. So I recommend you reexamine your assumptions and decide quickly exactly how much bitchier you want to get. I've known Kenshin five years. You've known him six months. Whose opinion do you think matters to him more?”
 
Kaoru snapped Tomoe's arm up and away from the doorframe, part of her hoping that the shove she'd given had hurt. Tomoe followed her and hissed near her ear, “I think the opinion of the woman willing to screw him will matter more. So, better start screwing before I beat you to it.”
 
Kaoru turned, her mouth open with shock and anger. Tomoe smirked and stalked past her, her waist length hair swaying in a decidedly haughty manner. “That…bitch…” Kaoru seethed. She waited a moment in the hallway to calm herself a bit before returning to the party proper. She deposited the chips with rather more force than necessary next to Hiko before turning to Kenshin. Tomoe, thankfully, was not draped around him. She was cornered on the other side of a room by a sugar-induced weasel.
 
Kaoru rushed up to Kenshin and gave him a quick hug. “Sorry, but I have to go. Dad called me home. Says he needs my help with something.”
 
“Do you need a ride?” he asked, hand already shifting to his pocket for his keys.
 
“No…I think I'll enjoy the walk. Thanks for having me, Kenshin. I'll see you soon.”
 
He raised a brow at her hasty retreat. Sano slid up beside him. “Want me to follow her and make sure she's ok?”
 
“Please. That wasn't like her at all.”
 
oOoOoOoOo
 
Kaoru began jogging almost as soon as she was out of Kenshin's house. She could feel the tears prickling in the corners of her eyes, but refused to let them fall. She jogged three blocks before slowing at the park. On a spur of the moment decision, she slid into the park, immediately moving to her favorite old oak about thirty feet from the sidewalk. She touched the bark, running her hand over the surface and relishing in the slight pain that cleared the tears from her eyes. Slowly she turned and slumped against the trunk.
 
She'd only been sitting there a minute or so when she heard footsteps through the grass. “Great,” she muttered, “not again.” She looked up to meet whatever had come to torment her and felt slight relief as Sano approached.
 
He sat down next to her without a word and picked a fat blade of grass. Without pretense, he put the grass to his lips and whistled on it until the strange sound made her half-heartedly giggle. He removed the grass and looked at her, a small grin on his face. “So want to tell me what's up?”
 
She sighed and her smile disappeared.
 
“Is it something to do with Kenshin?”
 
“Indirectly…yes.”
 
“Ah…the Frigid Bitch strikes again?”
 
She snorted before nodding and tilting her head downward.
 
“You want to talk about it?”
 
“What's the point? It's not like you can make her stop being a frigid bitch.”
 
“But talking might help.”
 
“Let's just say she implied…I mean…”
 
She paused a moment before taking a clearing breath. “No…I don't want to talk about it.”
 
“If I guess, will you nod your head yes or no?”
 
“You won't guess.”
 
“But that means I can try, right?”
 
“I suppose,” she said, her voice listless with defeat.
 
“She accused you of trying to take Kenshin away from her.”
 
Kaoru glanced sidelong at him before looking forward. “Were we really that obvious?”
 
“Are you kidding? I couldn't breathe past the anger in that room.”
 
“Well, you're still stating the obvious. Everyone except Kenshin knows she thinks that.”
 
“Well, what exactly did she say that sent you scuttling?”
 
“Let's just say it was how she said it.”
 
“Something along the lines of `You're a slut, but I'm a bigger one and sex is all that matters in this game?'”
 
“You shouldn't be this good at this.”
 
“Girl fights about guys usually get around to sex sooner or later. Tomoe's sexy and she knows it. She also knows you're…young…and also insecure about where you stand with Kenshin. It makes sense she'd use it to her advantage in a fight.”
 
“But that's not the part that bothered me. What bothers me is that she implied that sex is all that really counts with Kenshin. I don't think that's true. He's an emotional person, and an honorable one too. Even if they've…I mean…Loyalty would count more to him than physical desires. I'm worried that he's going to get hurt, especially if she really thinks what she said is true.”
 
“Well, I hate to say this, but Kenshin could do with a little heartbreak in his life. He's only ever had girls throw themselves at him…except for you…and he's been damn lucky all those girls were half-decent. He's too trusting and he needs to learn that not everyone is as kind and understanding as you.”
 
Kaoru stared at him, her mouth falling open. After a moment she spluttered. “Sano! I can't believe you just said that you insufferable ass! I'm going home. Don't you dare follow me.” She jumped up from the tree and began stomping off. Sano grabbed her wrist just a few feet away.
 
“Kaoru, what I'm trying to say is that sometimes guys need to experience things that aren't so good for them so they'll realize how good they have it…so they'll see what's right in front of their noses.”
 
“Whatever. Let me go.” He let go and she stomped away, the clouds of steam pouring from her ears practically visible. It was only five blocks later that she realized Sano might have been implying that she was that thing right in front of Kenshin's nose.
 
oOoOoOoOo
 
Kaoru woke slowly to the sound of tapping on the glass of her bedroom window. She blinked sleepily before rising, already knowing who would be there. “Kenshin,” she murmured through a sleep-garbled mouth as she slid the window open. “So nice to see you at…” she tried to read her clock but couldn't quite get her eyes to focus. She woke up rather quickly though when she caught sight of his eyes. Fire burning in the darkness…something she'd only seen three times before.
 
“What happened?”
 
He looked at her sharply before padding across her floor to sit on her bed. She shivered in the wake of his presence before shutting the window. Very consciously, aware of his moonlit gaze on her, she moved to sit in her desk chair.
 
When she was settled, he opened his mouth and said one word. “Tomoe.”
 
Kaoru glanced up sharply.
 
Kenshin looked as though he was capable of murder as he predatorily paced across her floor. Kaoru waited patiently for him to begin explaining. She understood his need for time to compose himself and was willing to wait all night. After a few minutes, he began to speak.
 
“After everyone left, we went to the spare room to watch a movie. She…I mean…it started off so nicely. She took off her sweater and started giving me a shoulder rub. You know how tense I am on days like this. When she sat back down we started making out.”
 
Kaoru mentally cringed and tried to ignore the inner voice screaming in her head. The last thing she wanted to hear about was Kenshin and Tomoe's…physical relationship, but she usually tried not to let it show on her face when he talked about it.
 
“Then, things changed. She pulled my shirt off and she seemed…I don't know…desperate. And then her hand was…” he trailed off and Kaoru was presented with the rare paradox of Kenshin completely pissed off and completely embarrassed at the same time. “Anyway, I stopped her and asked her what exactly what she was doing. She pulled a condom out of her pocket and told me she was in love with me and wanted to show me how strongly she felt about me.”
 
“Oh, Kenshin…did you guys…?”
 
“Being the stupid fucking moron I am? Of course we did.”
 
Kaoru shifted awkwardly in her chair. She wanted to go over and hold him and comfort him, but given the circumstances it seemed like her best effort would only seem clumsy and ill mannered. So she staid where she was.
 
“I woke up about 1:00 and was alone so I pulled on my pants and wandered out to find her. She was in the living room on the phone and I stopped and listened for a minute.”
 
Kenshin's pacing became faster, his steps clipped and harsh and eerily silent.
 
“She was talking to a guy about me. Told him she'd managed to sleep with me finally and was ready to go back to him. I kept listening and figured it out pretty easily. She started dating me to get back at the guy on the phone and by the time she made up with him she'd become obsessed with the idea of…I mean she really just wanted…She likes being with virgins.”
 
Kaoru bit her lip to keep from standing up and demanding to see the woman immediately so she could beat the crap out of her. Instead, she continued listening. It wasn't as if she could do anything else for him.
 
“I confronted her in the living room and told her to get the hell out. She didn't even try to get me to forgive her. She grabbed her things and took off.”
 
“Kenshin,” Kaoru said softly as she stood, “none of this was your fault.”
 
“I know that!” he snapped, eyes blazing as he rounded on her. Kaoru shrank back from the strength of his fury. He immediately backed away as his eyes took in her movements. Slowly, almost in a dream-like state, he returned to her bed and sat down. “Fuck,” he murmured as he put his head in his hands.
 
Kaoru moved forward slowly again and sat next to him on the bed, carefully keeping considerable distance between them. “What…I mean…why…” She trailed off, unable to even voice her question.
 
Kenshin snorted derisively against his palms. “Who else would I talk to about this stuff? Sano would solve it with alcohol and Aoshi…who would talk to Aoshi about anything even remotely related to emotion. You're my best friend. How could I not come to you about it?”
 
“Do you…I mean…what can I do to help?”
 
He glanced up at her before giving half-hearted bitter laughter. “I don't need help. I just need you to listen.”
 
She nodded and turned slightly towards him, closing some of the distance between them.
 
“I…how could she lie like that? How could I believe her? She told me she loved me. And I fell for it.”
 
Kaoru hesitated before speaking. “There's nothing wrong with believing in something, Kenshin, especially love. I think it says more about your character than hers that you believed her.”
 
“That I'm an idiot?”
 
“No. That you are willing to place trust in things, even if that trust might end up hurting you in the end. What's better? Taking a risk for a greater reward or staying locked in a safe little box?”
 
He looked up at her, blinking slightly before giving her just the slightest half-smile. “You've known me too long,” he murmured, “if you can appeal to my better nature in five sentences or less.”
 
She returned his smile hesitantly before turning her eyes to her floor.
 
“I guess…it's really just bothering me because I gave her something I can't take back. I mean, I always thought that I'd have sex for the first time with the woman I truly loved and planned on spending the rest of my life with. Why did I give it away so easily?”
 
“Because you're human,” Kaoru answered simply. “Even priests have sexual urges. Just look at a news headline. You're not expected to be superhuman. Also, think of it this way. It's not so much who you are with first as who you are with forever. Just because she was your first doesn't make her somehow different from other women you'll eventually date and maybe have sex with. What will set a woman apart from others is that she will be the one you want to wake up to every morning and go to bed with every night. Am I making sense?”
 
Kenshin looked sidelong at her before moving his gaze to her window. “You make sense. That doesn't stop it from hurting.”
 
They sat on the bed together for a very long time with comfortable silence and understanding stretching between them. Finally Kenshin stood and shifted to her window. Kaoru followed him and lifted the pane open again.
 
“If it makes you feel any better,” she said after a moment, “she was a bitch and you're too good for her.”
 
Kenshin's mouth kicked up slightly in a grin. Then, before Kaoru could fully process what had happened, his arms were around her and his face was pressed against her shoulder and chest, just over her heart. “Thank you, Kaoru. I'm sorry about all of this, but…thanks.”
 
Kaoru nodded carefully and slowly raised her arms up to lightly encircle his waist. “Anytime, Kenshin,” she whispered. They remained locked together for several moments and it was only when Kaoru felt moisture soak through her pajama top that she realized he was crying. After a few more moments he pulled away, his hands on her shoulders.
 
It was one of those rare moments in time where everything slows infinitely. Breath stops, clocks still, and light dances at a slower pace. Electric knowledge passed through each of them and for the briefest moment, Kenshin considered kissing Kaoru. Kaoru felt knowledge wrap around her soul then, that she would never be able to see another man without looking for bits of Kenshin in him. Kenshin processed the sensations trickling through him and wondered if he'd even be able to hide this knowledge from her. Then he pulled farther away and was slipping out the window.
 
“Goodnight, Kaoru.”
 
“Goodnight, Kenshin.”
 
Only after they'd parted ways did each fully relax. Kenshin quietly locked his feelings away. He would not ruin what was between them. Kaoru did the same, allowing only a tiny sprig of hope to remain. Perhaps in time, whatever it was they'd had in that moment would be able to grow into something they could have for a lifetime. For now though…she would wait.
 
A/N: Yes, I'm evil beyond words. I know. I'm terribly sorry. Let's just say all that free time I was expecting never happened. And once I did have free time, inspiration had completely and utterly fled. It came back tonight. Not sure how that happened. Cranked this out and am already nearly done with the next one. That being said, if you're still reading, please know that I appreciate you all very much for sticking with me for so long. I know I've kind of turned into one of those unreliable updaters, even though I did swear to myself that wouldn't happen. I have a couple other works in the stew pot, and I'm hoping working on those will in turn motivate me to write more of this, especially since someone has been so incredibly kind as to nominate it for RKRC. Thank you whoever you are.
 
Hate War, Love the…Warrior.” -Lt. Gen. Harold Moore