Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Shattered ❯ Unconfirmed Suspicions ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: ...Kenshin is not mine. (Except in my dreams. :D) The honors belong to Watsuki-sensei.

Shattered
By Lacrymosa

Chapter 3: Unconfirmed Suspicions

A/N: Well I'm back, I guess. RL has really been a pain, and it doesn't help that I find this chapter unbearably boring. This was originally going to be longer, but I found the pace to be so slow that I just cut it off. If you listen hard enough, you might be able to hear me sigh as you read it...

"~~~~~~~" is a flashback
"- - - - - -" is a divider
_______________________________________________________________ _______________


The sounds of combat echoing through the halls of the dojo had woken her up. Kaoru carefully and quietly disconnected herself from the tangled blankets of her bed and slid open the shoji screen door of her bedroom. The wooden floor beneath her bare feet was cold and hard, her soft flannel PJ's doing nothing to ward of the chill that had started to seep into her skin, causing her to shiver reflexively.

She could distinctly hear the whistling noises of a bokken slicing through the air, the soft grunts of effort, the echoing smack of feet against the floor. Of course, these noises were coming from the training hall, exactly where they always were. Despite knowing this, Kaoru was curious as to why her father would be practicing his kendo at such an hour of the night. Again.

She slid her way down the hall, making sure that her feet made no sound against the polished wood of the floor, walking past her father's bedroom --empty of it usual inhabitant-- until she was at the door of the training hall itself.

It wasn't the first time she had seen her father up in the middle of the night practicing his katas, so she was experienced at making sure that he didn't noticing her peering face through the small crack in the door, didn't notice her bright eyes following his every move, and didn't notice her sharp intakes of breath when his bokken hit the floor of the dojo with a resounding crack!

It had never occurred to the young girl why her father needed to practice his kendo in the middle of the night, whether to ward off his demons or in defiance of some sort of impending doom.

Noiselessly, Kaoru slid the screen shut and went back to her room.


"What are you saying?"

The teenage girl was staring at her father, a bland look of disbelief etched rigidly on her face. She didn't want to believe him, but she knew what he said was no lie. But she just couldn't...

Her father jut shook his head, and his expression was all that Kaoru needed to drive her thoughts home.

'There's a dojo in Kyoto that's looking for a kendo instructor. They are offering a good pay in advance, and you would get to meet more people you're own age. More respectable people than the rebels from the high school that come here. It's the perfect neighborhood.'

...so he had said. But Kaoru couldn't find it in her heart to forgive him, again.

She was packing her bags, saying good-bye to friends she had hardly got to know, promising to write when she knew that she probably wouldn't.

It was just so hard to leave everything behind again.


"'Tou-san! Otou!"

Kaoru was pointing her pudgy fingers at the towering buildings of Tokyo, her six-year-old face filled with childlike glee.

Her father was in the sitting room, leafing through a sea of pamphlets and files, fingers wrapped loosely around a pen, tapping a staccato beat against the kitchen table.

Finally his daughters enthusiastic cries broke through to wherever he was, and Kamiya Koshijirou looked up, his stern look replaced by calm patience as his eyes followed the line of Kaoru's fingers.

"Can you see it?" the young girl was saying brightly. "It's Mount. Fuji! Mount. Fuji!"

Her father laughed and pulled away from the table, approaching the small child.

"Yes, I see it. It's beautiful, ne?"

Kaoru tried to school her features to becoming more mature, like her father's, but her joyfulness still shone through her blue eyes. Her father placed his strong, weathered hands upon her thin shoulders, squeezing them encouragingly.

She smiled up at him. "Yes, it is very be-beautiful."

She had her fingers curled around the bamboo shinai, her posture defensive, shoulders rigid. She was ready for the attack, knew that she could parry any blow.

The boy was standing a few feet away in a similar posture, feet squared with his shoulders, a look of determination and arrogance gracing his features. She had forgotten what his name was, they had only been at this particular kendo school for a short time, but she knew that he was considered to be the best in the class. Not that she cared.

Her father was standing a few feet away, glancing between his two students, analyzing their expressions, their stances.

"Hyoji," he called out. "Grip! Grip you shinai correctly."

Only Kaoru noticed the glare the boy sent her father, and she felt her stomach stir with the beginnings of anger. How dare he show such disrespect to her father!

And then: "Kao! Relax your shoulders! Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu doesn't involve trying to make your shoulders touch your ears!"

She winced as she heard faint chuckles among the other students, and ignored the way the anger in her stomach had frozen into cold embarrassment.

Koshijirou was studying the two opponents again, and then nodded slightly.

Hyoji --or whatever his name was-- charged at her with a yell, shinai held high above his head.

Kaoru smiled. She didn't even have to block his attack as she thrust her bamboo sword into the boy's stomach. He stumbled backwards, winded, and she whispered, "I win."

She turned towards her father, hoping, wishing for some sort of congratulations, even a smile, or looking at her with pride, but his expression was the same as usual. Emotionless. Stern. Completely unyielding.

And despite the fact that she had won, Kaoru felt strangely bitter.

She held the tiny box in her hands, fingers running wistfully over the sides in a gentle caress.

"It's been awhile, I know."

She wished that he could answer her, wherever he was. But no, he was too far away, he probably couldn't even hear her words. All she had left to talk to were his ashes.

"I try so hard, Otou-san, but it never seems to be enough."

Still no answer. But, she hadn't really expected one.

"I'm so tired."

The doctor said that the wound on her head would be tender and bruised after awhile, and that she had gotten a mild concussion, but frankly, everyone was amazed that she was even alive. Questions were asked: "Why wasn't she murdered too?" People comforted her, said soothing words that Kaoru didn't hear.

The interrogator in front her, despite the injury, was not kind.

"You don't remember anything? A face, hair color? Eye color? Height?"

Kaoru shook her head. "No. Well, I think his eyes were...gold."

The man snorted back at her in disbelief. "Gold?" he mimicked.

Kaoru said nothing, did nothing to defend herself. She didn't know if her lapse of memory had been intentional, or just an ironic coincidence.

When she was finally allowed to go back to the small house her father had rented for them --instructed to pack her belongings and would have someone pick her up shortly afterwards-- she went straight to her father's room.

It seemed peaceful, and so very, very quiet. Almost as if her father wasn't really dead, almost as if he hadn't been...

She frowned at the room and entered, kneeling at the end of the room in front of a small altar at the back.

Usually the altar would have been placed in the family sitting room, or at least in the dojo hall, but for some reason, her father had placed the altar inside his room when they had moved to Kyoto.

Placed on a stand, gazing regally across the room, was the katana.

"Sakabatou," her father had told her a few years ago. She repeated the name under her breath, extending a hand to remove the old sword.

She could recall her fathers words completely.

"It's been in our family for at least four generations, passed on to each master of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu since the late 1800s. The point was to make a sword that one could use without doing any serious harm, even if the attack was hit on a fatal spot. See the reverse edge? You have truly mastered swordsmanship when you are skilled enough to use a real blade, but have enough control to not to draw blood. This is one of the most important goals of a practicer of our family's style."

And then he had said: "It will belong to you someday."

Kaoru felt the heavy weight of the sword in her palm. And suddenly, she could feel the weight of everything that depended on her. The future of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu. Her own future, alone. Her father's... But she had never felt so alone.

She couldn't help him. She couldn't even tell the police the identity of his killer. She was unworthy to be called his daughter.

She had to do something...

Kaoru felt her heart tighten painfully in her chest, and she made no effort to control the flood of tears that escaped her eyes. Her fingers tightened around the sword's sheath, even as her vision blurred in front of her.

I'll avenge you, somehow. she thought.

I'll find whoever killed you, no matter what, and I'll...

Her eyes flew open with shock. Kaoru truly didn't know where those thoughts had come from, but they felt...right. She needed to do something. She need a purpose. She would find out who killed him...

She didn't know what she would do if she did, but for now, that would be what she would do. She would find that man, that man with the strange amber eyes, even if it took her forever.

And she would make him pay.

It was bright. Very, very bright. The glare shone through her eyelids and pierced her jumbled dreams like a needle, causing her to stir. Her hands felt heavy against the soft fabric of her bed, and her eyelids seemed to be even heavier.

When she managed to open her eyes, the light shining brightly through her senses made her vision dance wildly, and caused her to blink erratically several times to clear her blurry eyesight.

When everything was back into focus, Kaoru was fairly sure that she had no idea where she was.

Looking around the room, she saw that it was empty of any other people, so she had no one to explain things to her.

But she asked anyways. "Where am I?"

Just another questions to enter into her list of Things-Not-Answered. But moving past that, Kaoru rolled over on her side, scrambling to get her legs under her. But complications arose when she tried to get up, a wave of dizziness causing her legs to shake and collapse beneath her. "Ah!" she cried out softly as she fell back onto the futon. When she brought her hands up again to rub at her face, she noticed that they were shaking. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to force away the lightheadedness.

So that obviously wasn't going to work. Kaoru lowered a trembling hand from her face, trying to get her thoughts to form a normal pattern, trying to figure things out. She had a habit of blowing situations out of proportion, she knew, and had to tell herself to calm down. It wasn't like she was being held captive or anything.

She looked around the room again, hoping to catch sight of something that she might be familiar with. Thankfully, there was. She saw her bokken and the Sakabatou placed within easy reach and her suitcase laid against a wall a few feet away. Catching sight of the suitcase, Kaoru's memory came flooding back. Memories of the what had happened yesterday --or what she thought was yesterday, at least-- about getting kicked out of her apartment, leaving Kyoto, intending to never go back...

And with a gasp she remembered who she had seen in Tokyo. She was sure... his movements had seemed so familiar... it had to have been him.

But where had he went? She remembered running, trying to catch up with him...

She just couldn't remember...

A shadow slowly appeared against the light shining outside through the open door of her room. Kaoru spun around quickly, the speed of her movements causing her head to spin with dizziness. But her relief made her temporary nausea seem unimportant, she wanted to see who this person was, wanted to find out what had happened between then, and now.

She heard the sounds of footsteps before she could register anything else in her brain, and then the man was there, kneeling down beside her bed, a sincere smile spreading across his face. Kaoru couldn't help but smile back, hesitantly, suddenly at a loss of what to say.

She didn't need to worry about that for the moment, for the man said, "I thought I heard a voice. I'm glad you're finally awake."

Kaoru was fairly certain that from another person's point of view, her expression was most likely a flawlessly executed "drowning fish" impression.

It couldn't be...

Kaoru gave herself a mental shake, and didn't try to stop herself from blurting out, "Who are you?"

And then even louder, "Where am I? How--"

The man beside her seemed to be unfazed by her rude outburst. "Now, now," he interrupted. "You've been sick, aren't you hungry?"

As if on cue, Kaoru's stomach growled in agreement, and she couldn't help the faint blush that dusted her cheeks. She suddenly noted the bowl of soup the man held cradled in his hands. She hadn't even noticed the painful hunger knawing at her stomach until he had mentioned it.

She frowned slightly as she noticed that the man was still smiling. Things were beginning to spin out of control, and Kaoru tried to grasp onto the few things that seemed slightly normal. Ignoring the tiny voices screaming in her head, Don't trust him! It's probably poisioned!, she reached out her hands to take the warm bowl of soup from the man's hands.

As the object was exchanged, Kaoru couldn't help but notice the rough calluses on the man's palms. She recognized them, because she had seen the same kind of roughness on her father's hands, and her own.

The soup was warm, but quite watery and bland. The first spoonful caused her insides to warm up too, and Kaoru closed her eyes in relief, unaware, or maybe even forgetting, the man's violet gaze. But after several spoonfuls, she began to realize why the soup was so thin when her stomach began to contact painfully. She forced herself to gulp down some more before, hands beginning to shake again, she placed the soup down upon the tatami mat floors of the room.

It was then that some of the man's earlier spoken words began to get through to her.

"I've been... sick?"

The man didn't even blink, but just nodded slowly, as if afraid that any quick movements would alarm her.

"Yes," he said, he voice even and gentle. "I found you yesterday evening, you must have caught a cold, being out in the rain like that. I had a doctor come in to look at you after I brought you home."

Kaoru blinked, seeing how some of what he was saying beginning to make sense. She remembered the rain, her first night in Tokyo spent being pounded by millions of rain drops.

Before she could reply, the man was suddenly pulling a jar out of nowhere, and had popped the top of before Kaoru could ask what it was. He emptied two small pills into his hands. He looked up and held her gaze for a few moments, and it was then that Kaoru noticed the deep, reflective depth of his bright violet eyes.

And it also called to attention the scar that traced a crescent on his left cheek.

She felt a familiar darkness creeping upon her mind from all sides, not overwhelming her this time, but more like trying to call to her attention something that she should have been able to recall.

The man must have seen the startled look in her eyes, because he pulled his amethyst ones away from her's, and held out his hand.

"You should probably take these," was all that he said.

Kaoru took a shaky breath, mentally threatening the darkness with her bokken, and swallowed the two small pills down her throat. They weighed heavily against her dry tongue, and Kaoru gulped audibly to force them down. She could still feel them as a large lump in her throat, and she turned hesitantly towards the man and asked, tentatively, for a glass of water.

The man made a strange sound in the back of throat, a sheepish expression appearing on his face. He excused himself from the room, he footsteps echoing down the hall.

When he returned with a glass of water and a mumbled apology for his forgetfulness, Kaoru could no longer fight the wave of fatigue that began to descend upon her, and slept.

Kenshin couldn't stop himself from watching her.

It was strange, to have another person staying in the same house, and he had distinctly felt the girl's presence before he fell asleep last night and when he woke up. He couldn't escape it. It was like a nagging feeling at the back of his mind that didn't go away. He wasn't used to such a feeling.

He slid open the fusuma doors separating their rooms and made sure to close them behind him, cutting himself off from the girl. She was unsettling, and he didn't know why. For the first time in years, he felt worry nibbling at him, a sensation he had almost forgotten. There was definitely something strange about her, that was for sure.

He turned away from the closed door to face the room, trying to pretend that he wasn't worried. But the problem with that was, the more you tried to pretend that the worry wasn't there, the more it seemed to grow. You couldn't escape it.

He closed his eyes, hands rising to rub soothingly against his temples. He wasn't enjoying feeling so uneasy...

He left the room and went to the kitchen, deciding that he had better put the rest the rest of the food that he had bought in Tokyo away. Most of it was already done, but he hadn't had time to finish doing the job when he was busy taking care of that girl.

He didn't notice the large green folder that slid soundlessly from one of the bags and disappeared under the counter.


He could feel the soft stirrings of her ki as the girl gradually returned to consciousness, and made good use of this advantage by turning on the electric rice cooker, and started to make dinner. The food would be simple, and easy on the girls stomach. She was still recovering from her illness, and he had noticed how she had barely kept down the soup he had given her before.

Oh, and this time, he remembered to put aside a glass of water for her. He knew that he was being silly for acting so embarrassed about it, but it was so unlike him to forget something like that. He decided that it was most likely because he had never had much experience about taking care of people other than himself.

She still hadn't completely awakened by the time the rice was cooked and the rest of the dinner prepared, so Kenshin quickly ate his own meal. After he was finished, he gathered the girl's food onto a tray and walked towards her room.

Her room. Now he was calling it her room. As if it actually belonged to her.

Shaking off the thoughts, he slid the shoji door open a slit, peering in to see if she was awake or not. To his surprise, the girl was sitting up, all hints of queasiness gone, and looking very much awake. Maybe she had heard the door opening, or maybe it was something else, but somehow she knew he was there and turned around to face him, smiling gently.

He was surprised, but careful to not let it show as he opened the door all the way and led himself inside. He went to the side of her bed again, holding out the tray of food like a peace offering. To be able to mask her ki like that... and the sword... She must have had some training in kenjutsu.

She didn't take the tray of food at once, but instead, "It's raining again."

Once again Kenshin was caught by surprise, and wasn't so confident that he had hidden his expression as well as he had before. It was true. About an hour after she had fallen asleep, the sky had been blanketed with soft gray clouds, shrouding the sun. A light drizzle had begun to fall, making unmistakable soft pattering sounds against the roof of the house.

"Aa," he replied, and let go of the tray as the girl lowered it into her lap. "I don't think it will last very long, though," he added. The girl only nodded thoughtfully as she chewed on a slice of pickle.

Kenshin was glad to see that the girl was managing to eat most of her food, a sign that the worst of the sickness had left.

When she was done, the girl placed the empty tray on the floor beside her, and then turned towards him again. She looked as if she wanted to say something, but unsure how. Her fingers, nestled in her lap, twisted and fumbled with each other with nervousness.

"Umm..." she finally said, "How long have I been here?"

He didn't have to think for too long before answering. "I found you yesterday afternoon, you had fainted."

"...fainted?" she repeated. Kenshin nodded, and said, "We're in the Nishitama district now, near Ome. This is my home."

"Oh," was all she said.

The silence settled on them quickly, and Kenshin felt the tension in the air. The girl was feeling it too, he could tell by the anxious arch of her back, not to mention the flare of her nervous ki that grated against his senses.

"I guess," she said, breaking the silence, "you probably want to know why I, uh..." The sentence was left uncompleted, only because it was oh-so-obvious that the girl's situation hadn't been a very good one.

"I was forced to leave my old apartment, very recently. I didn't... have anywhere else to go."

Her words were hesitant, as if she was afraid of giving away too much. He was slightly curious about why, but decided that he wasn't going to pry, she had her right to privacy, after all. But, it at least explained why the girl had been carrying around a suitcase, and had looked so forlorn and lost when he had found her.

"What's your name?" he asked her. For a few moments she looked started, as if she had forgotten he was there.

"My name... It's Kami--Kaminawa," She stumbled on the surname, looking slightly more composed before continuing, "Kaoru."

The name meant nothing to him. He had never heard it before, and he almost breathed a sigh of relief. Kenshin smiled at her, trying to put her more at ease. "Well, Kaminawa-san, it's nice to meet you."

Kaoru smiled back at him, before asking, "Who are you...exactly?"

"Himura. Himura Kenshin."

Kaoru got a strange expression on her face, something that he couldn't really describe. It was almost as if she was... studying him somehow, or maybe trying to figure something out. He wondered faguely what had caused her scrutiny, but brushed the thought away. The worry had returned, seeming to be even harder to ignore than it had been before.


"...Kenshin..."

The was a slight pause before Kenshin awnsered, his voice giving no hint to the earlier tension, "If you think you're strong enough, you can a take bath, if you'd like."

She smiled gratefully at him, and Kenshin noticed how her deep blue eyes seemed to light up with life when she did.


- - - -

Kaoru sank deeper into the warm water, enjoying the feel of the water on her skin. Steam rose up in thick clouds above her head, swirling around in an erratic dance on the ceiling. For the first time in a few days, she could finally allow herself to relax, trying to ignore the confusion that burned deep in her stomach.

She didn't know what had come over her. That man, Himura... what was it about him that made her senses tingle in the back of her mind? Once again, it was a feeling that she couldn't quite grasp, but it was there, hovering around her thoughts.

She was wary of him, that she knew. Frowning up at the ceiling, Kaoru remembered how her fake surname had sounded on his lips. Kaminawa. It had been unexpected, but it just hadn't felt right to tell him her real name. It felt wrong.

So she had lied. No big deal, it wasn't as if she hadn't lied to someone before. But the question that had been itching at the back of her head was still unanswered.

Who was 'Himura Kenshin?' From what she knew so far, he seemed to kind, and open and honest...

It was still a shock to remember who she had seen on the street in Tokyo. The man's features were a blur, something that just blended into her mind and melted away. It was so frustrating. He had been so close, and she had been useless to stop him. Again.

This whole situation was confusing her to no end...

But if what she suspected was true, maybe she hadn't been completely useless. Whoever this Ken-what's-his-name person was, she fully intended to find out. Until then...

With a sigh, Kaoru pulled herself out of the bath, grabbing the soft towel that lay nearby and wrapping it snugly around her body. Her legs shook with effort, and Kaoru felt the pull of vertigo tug at her arms before she managed to steady herself against the wall. Shaking her damp hair out of her eyes, she gathered up her things.

A few minutes later she slid open the bathroom door quietly and tip-toed her way back to her room. Her futon had been freshly made, the window slid open slightly to let the the fresh autumn air into the room. She could smell the scent of the newly fallen rain still clinging to the breeze, and Kaoru felt something that was curled tightly in her stomach unravel slightly. She couldn't help but smile at how peaceful it felt here, almost as if she belonged. It was so strange.

- - - -

"Is she still asleep?"

"I don't knooooow."

"Shush! What if Ken-nii hears us?"

"If Ken-nii...!"

Kaoru wasn't sure what it was, but something was tugging at the firm hold that sleep seemed to have on her. She mumbled something incoherent, her eyelids fluttering on her cheeks.

"Feel this, her hair is so soft!"

"Sooooo soft!"

Kaoru was then rudely awoken by something that began to tug very hard at her hair. Eyes flying open, her face contorted with shock. Her hands rose to her hair, grasping at the blue-black stands, her sleep hazed mind trying to find the source. Mentally, she groaned. This was not how she had expected to wake up.

Flipping over on her side, she was surprised to find that the tugging had stopped. Instead, she was almost nose to nose with two jovial faces, mischief and surprise dancing in the two pairs of eyes.

"You're awake!" one of them chirped.

"Awake! Awake!" the other said in a sing-song voice, her pigtails bobbing up and down on her head. The older one giggled beside her.

Kaoru blinked in surprise, not really understanding what was going on.

Who are these little... she thought to herself before one of the girl's voices piped up once again.

"Ken-nii told us that we had to be quiet because--"

The girl was interrupted from her speech by Kenshin himself, a very flustered Kenshin that hardly managed to seem very threatening as he leaned against the door frame, his shoulders heaving dramatically as he panted for breath. He looked up at Kaoru, his gaze shifting from her to the two girls that were kneeling beside her. Kaoru wasn't really surprised to see the apologetic grin that he gave her, his eyes softening as he looked at the three of them.

"I'm very sorry they disturbed you, Kaoru-san, you'd be surprised at how fast they can disappear when you're not paying attention..." Kenshin trailed off, his face a classic expression of sheepishness. Kaoru opened her mouth to reply but was shocked to suddenly find the two girls clinging to each of her arms. She wobbled unsteadily for a few seconds, but couldn't help laughing at the two identical faces that were looking pleadingly at Kenshin.

The one that was firmly attached to her left arm wrapped her fingers tightly into Kaoru's yukata, and announced, "We only wanted to see onee-chan!"

The other one nodded in agreement and cried out "'Nee-chan! 'Nee-chan!"

Kenshin looked even more flustered and walked inside, but Kaoru just shook her head and laughed again.

"It's alright. I'm feeling much better, and it was about time I got up. Are these two..." Kaoru thought for a few moments before continuing, "...you're granddaughters?"

Kenshin's eyes widend in shock and surprise, and Kaoru immediately knew that she had said something wrong. Kenshin stood there for a few more moments, his gaze shifting from the two girls, his jaw only dropping lower and lower.

He abruptly turned around, facing away from Kaoru, shaking his head.

"Ororo," she heard him say softly. "I did not think that I looked that old..."

"Ken-nii?" one of the girls chirped, both of them still firmly clamped to their arms. Kenshin looked over his shoulder at them, a smile once again plastered firmly over his face.

"Ayame-chan, Suzume-chan, would you like to help me make some lunch?"

Both girls nodded eagerly at the suggestion and detached themselves from Kaoru's arms. She was almost sorry for them to be leaving, and she straighten her shoulders before getting up out of bed herself.

"I'll help too," she found herself saying to Kenshin, causing the girls to cry out in triumph.

Kenshin only gave her a skeptical look, his violet eyes looking deep into her blue ones; before nodding. Kaoru smiled back at him and then closed the door behind them so she could get changed. She shook her head disbelieving, pushing down another chuckle that tickled at the back of her throat.

- - - -

Kenshin couldn't help but to feel slightly amused and strangely touched by the scene that was unfolding before him.

Ayame carefully molded the rice in her hands, her tiny fingers shaping the sticky substance expertly. Suzume sat on a chair beside her older sister, her wide childish eyes watching Ayame's fingers, trying to mimic the same motions.

But that scene by itself wasn't so unusual. He had helped the two girls cook many times before, and they had been in his home many times that by now they were quite comfortable in his presence. Something that he still couldn't accept had happened with such ease and such... normality.

But, the thing that was causing Kenshin to feel a strange lightheartedness and amusement was their new guest, Kaoru.

She too, was helping the two girls prepare their lunch, but even Suzume put her efforts to shame. Kenshin had to make a mental note to make sure that he never let Kaoru near a kitchen again.

He was so amused, that he didn't realize what that thought meant. He didn't realize that he starting to think -and act- as if Kaoru wasn't merely a guest, but a permanent resident. The whole house sang with her presence, it didn't seem right to think that she could possibly leave.

Kaoru's fingers were practically covered in rice, the grains clinging to the smooth skin, and he could even see a few that had managed to stick to her hair that cascaded freely down her back. The onigiri themselves were shaped quite oddly indeed, mismatched and lopsided as they were.

Ayame noticed Kaoru's creations, and then Kaoru's attempts at molding the rice into some form of symmetrical shape, and giggled. Suzume beside her stopped and followed her older sister's gaze, and then she began to giggle too.

Kenshin didn't move, wasn't even aware if he was breathing or not, as Kaoru looked down at her fingers, and noticed, as if for the first time, how hopeless her cause was. He watched, fascinated, as he saw a multitude of emotion course through her eyes. Disappointment, embarrassment, resignation, until it finally settled on amusement as well, and then the kitchen ran with her own laughter, a tinkling, joyful sound that made him smile.

Suddenly he found Kaoru's brilliant sapphire eyes pointed at him, the laughter still shining in their depths.

"I think you must realize by now, Kenshin-san," she was saying, while trying to stifle her giggles, "That I'm hopeless at cooking. I think I'll stop now before I make a fool of myself."

It occurred to Kenshin that he must seem quite stupid and dim, standing there smiling. In fact, such an image reminded him too much of Shishio's young assistant, Soujiro, for it to be comfortable.

Thankfully, Ayame saved him from having to answer her, as she cried out, "I like Kaoru'nee-chan!"

And, as expected, Suzume repeated Ayame's outburts with her own chiming of "'Nee-chan! Kaoru'nee-chan!"

And in a few seconds the tension that Kenshin hadn't noticed was there had broke, and he felt at ease as he laughed along with the three girls. He shot a glance at Kaoru, and for a moment he was surprised see her scrutinating gaze on himonce again. They weren't hostile just... searching. But they seemed to bve looking for something different than before... That thought alone made him nervous, but before he could figure out what to do, she turned away from him, suddenly looking strangely tired.

He pulled a chair out from under the western style table in the kitchen, and asked her if she wanted to sit down. Once again, he felt the heat of her eyes on him, and she mumbled a response. She lowered herself carefully down on to the chair, and he could see the tense muscles in her back beginning to relax.

A few minutes later they were all at the table, the two girls swinging their chopsticks around expressively as they chattered away. Really, Kenshin was only pretending to listen, and Kaoru was picking at her food while her attention seemed to be elsewhere. She seemed to be very different from the cheerful person she had been when she had woken up. It intrigued him.

When she had finished her food, she carefully placed her chopsticks down on the table, and folded her fingers carefully in her lap. Her eyes were looking downwards, her shoulders stiff again with hidden tension.

In the end, Kenshin supposed it would have to be him that broke the silence.

"Ayame and Suzume are the granddaughters of the local doctor, I watch them for him about three times a week."

Kaoru's eyes shot up, her expression sheepish. "I'm sorry that I assumed..." she trailed off, looking uncertain. She was still embarrassed.

"No, it's fine."

Her lips twitched slightly as her expression brightened. "You really don't look very old, you know."

That statement made him want to laugh. Almost an hour ago she had practically called him an old grandfather, and now she was saying that he looked young? He didn't understand her at all.

After a short silence, she said gently, "Thank you."

Once again she had surprised him. He frowned, not quite sure what she meant. "For what?"

This time, her smile was genuine. He felt something inside him shift as she looked at him those blue eyes again, but this time they were shining with a different emotion.

"For... everything. For helping me out, I guess." Her voice was sincere, like she really meant it. He hoped that she did.

"It was nothing," he assured her. He saw her smile knowingly at him, as if they had just shared some sort of secret. The feeling between them only lasted a moment though, as Kaoru abruptly pulled her chair back from the table, gathering her empty bowls in her hands. She placed them on the counter, and he could see the sunlight that shone through the window reflecting off her smooth hair. He had never realized how silky it looked, and he had the sudden urge to touch it, but he held himself back. He didn't understand this, how such a young girl could just walk into his life and make him feel so different.

It was almost enough to make him afraid.

- - - - -

The girls were kicking the ball around the yard, the joy on their faces unmistakable. Pure, simple joy. Kaoru wished that she capable of feeling such an emotion.

She could hear the distant rumbling of a river that Kenshin had mentioned was near under the cries of the children. It filled her with a sense of peace, and with that peace came a clear mind.

She had been surprised to find that Kenshin home was actually an old dojo. She had been in so many before that as soon as she had stepped out into the sunlight, she had known. The familiar aura around the house only served to help her relax more. Kaoru wasn't sure if this was more of a blessing or something to push her off her guard.

Kenshin was playing with the girls too, and in the sunlight untainted by clouds, the bright glittering of his violet eyes seemed almost exotic. The children were so at ease with him, and the more Kaoru spent time near him, the more her suspicions became absurd. How could she possibly think...

Something deep in her mind told her to keep herself on guard. The situation she found herself was difficult, and the vow that she made years ago made her suspicious of anyone that seemed so familiar. But it was beginning to occur to her that maybe she was wrong about Kenshin. Looking at him now, there was no way that he could be capable of... Kaoru didn't dare even think it. He couldn't possibly be a cold blooded killer, there was no way...

Kaoru leaned against the sturdy wooden beam on the porch. It was reassuring to have something strong supporting her, a comfort that she had been lacking in her life for a long time. She breathed a soft sigh, and let her soul loose to mingle in the peacefulness surrounding her.

When Kenshin came to sit next to her, she was already asleep.

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Thanks for reading! Just so you know, Kaoru's flashbacks at the beginning are not in order. I'm sorry it took so long for me to write such a crappy chapter...

~Lacrymosa