Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Survival of the Spirit ❯ Survival of the Spirit Chapter 9 ( Chapter 9 )

Survival of the Spirit Chapter 9

Shinta looked up at the sky and smiled. His mother had loved the blue skies of this area. Maybe if he thought about her hard enough she would wake up and everything would be like it had been before. Instead a man knelt down and offered him a lollipop.

"Would you like this Shinta?"

He nodded yes and the man gave it to him, smiling as the boy took it. That seemed to be a signal for something and a woman came over and picked him up.

"We're going to take you to a place where you will have lollipops all the time."

He smiled, and they took him to a car where someone gave him another one. The lollipop turned into a sword and the sword into a modern weapon. The now grown man looked up as the boy he'd been had done and saw another blue sky. Looking down at his hands he saw the blood there, so much blood the skin underneath it was stained red. A man's body laid still and bleeding at his feet. And the man smiled, seeing the boy still licking the lollipop and smiling.

Kenshin woke up and lay still. It had been a long time since he'd dreamt himself as a child, seen himself before he'd become a killer. The fact that his mother had been in the dream upset him. He had never thought about what she would think of him, what she would think about what he'd become. The scream that threatened to erupt from him was held back by sheer force of will until it came out a low moan sounding of pain and loss. He would've been happy there being a fisherman like his father, marrying a local girl and having red haired babies with her. Instead he was here, in Tokyo, a man seeking redemption and forgiveness for a life of murder that would have landed a yakuza in jail for a very long time. He was surprised the boy was still alive in him surprised that he could still find that innocence. He glanced at the clock and then at Kaoru, who was sleeping peacefully. She had made feelings come alive that he hadn't thought would ever be alive in him again. He was close to admitting how much he loved her to himself, and that was dangerous. He had remembered some of what had happened with Shura, remembered how he'd been thinking about her just like he was thinking about Kaoru now. After that it had all been dark.

She turned over, her face peaceful, the stresses of the day gone leaving her face as looking youthful as it should. He leaned over and kissed her, pulling her into his embrace as he did.

"Kenshin?" she asked, her voice heavy with sleep.

"Sleep Kaoru.It's early yet."

He went to get up and Kaoru came full awake.

"Kenshin what's wrong?"

"Nothing.Sleep."

"Kenshin you had a dream. What did you dream?"

"Leave me alone Kaoru. I'll be back in time to take Yahiko to school."

He pulled on jeans and a white tee and once outside slipped on soft shoes and walked down the alley. The door was locked but that didn't faze him. Once inside he let his eyes adjust and headed for the room where the old man slept, sitting down at his side crossing his legs. His hair was loose around his shoulders and he gathered it in a loose braid.

"Wake up old man."

When the man didn't move he shook him awake.

"Wha..Kenshin. What time is it? Are you all right?"

"If I was all right would I be here? I have got to leave."

"Why?"

"I almost told Kaoru I was falling in love with her."

"And?"

"The last time I did that I woke up to find out I had slit my lovers' throat."

"Oh."

The old man got up, relieved himself and they went to boil some water for tea, Kenshin sitting quietly on the floor.

"Don't you think you should talk to Kaoru about your feelings instead of running here to me?"

Kenshin shot him a look of pure evil.

"And if I tell her she'll be in more danger. Is that what you want for her?"

"What do you want for her?"
"You sound like fuckin' Ayame."

"Like I said their methods aren't all bad."

"I dreamed my family."

The old man turned and looked sharply at Kenshin who was watching him the way a wild animal watches a potential victim, looking for any sign of weakness or in this case derision. The old man met his gaze steadily and Kenshin's eyes shifted back to normal.

"I saw my mother dead from the poison they gave her. I saw my father and I remembered that I was happy then, that all I wanted was to stay there and be a man like my Dad."

"What was he?"

"We were fishermen. I would go to the water with my Dad in the morning and help with the nets, probably making more of a mess than anything else, and I'd meet him when they came back. To this day I love the smell of the ocean and fresh sea food."

Kenshin was smiling at the memory, lost in it and he started when a mug of tea was shoved in his face.

"I can't take one of your concoctions. I have to take Yahiko to school."

"Plain green tea. No tricks."

Kenshin sipped it and rolled the liquid around in his mouth before swallowing it.

"How did you feel about seeing yourself back then?"
"I never wanted this you know, not at first. I liked doing martial arts and I liked learning all the methods."

"I take it your name isn't really Kenshin?"

"No. My real name is Shinta. My Master thought it was too faggy."

They both laughed and Kenshin took another sip of tea. He almost choked when a loud banging started at the door.

"I think your lady love has found you," the old man grinned.

"Before I let her in I want to say this. I think you should take a trip there, back to your home. And you should somehow spend time with your Master."

Kenshin was thinking about the old man's words when Kaoru burst in, her hair loose and her eyes blazing.

"Kenshin!!! How dare you leave me like that…"

He looked up at her and smiled.

"Hello Kaoru," he said softly keeping his eyes on her as she knelt down next to him.

"I left because I didn't want to kill you."

Kaoru's eyes opened wide and he turned away from them going back to drinking his tea.

"I don't want to now."

She got up and backed away from him before turning and leaving him sitting on the floor. The old man looked at him from the shadows in the corner. Kenshin could've told her anything but the truth to spare her but he hadn't, and in a way it made sense. If she had clung to him and made him stay he may have lost it and Kaoru could've been hurt.

"I think I've lost her," Kenshin said softly.

"Kaoru is a strong girl."

"No one is that strong old man. No one."

Kaoru watched as Kenshin and Yahiko talked about baseball and football over breakfast before leaving for school. While Yahiko got his book bag Kenshin looked at Kaoru.

"You want me to leave?"

Kaoru had thought of nothing else since running back to the dojo from the old man's home. "Maybe he should stay," she'd thought to herself. "Maybe we can both fight this together. I think I love him enough and if we have kids…"

But none of that came out. Instead she spoke one word.

"Yes."

He looked away.

"You'll take Yahiko to school?"

"Yes."

"I'll tell him I'm leaving. Just make sure they don't give him back to his mother."

"I won't let that happen."

He looked away from her and at Yahiko who had come to stand in the door.

"Where are you going Kenshin?" Yahiko asked, tears flowing down his cheeks.

"I almost hurt Miss Kaoru last night. It's not safe for me to be here anymore."
"But you didn't hurt her Kenshin!! Please don't leave."

"She's afraid of me now, and she should be. It's better I leave so men like Shishio and Aoshi don't come here and hurt her."

"That's what this is all about isn't it? Am I so easy to leave Kenshin?"

Her words cut deeper than any knife or bullet could ever do, and he turned away.

"Come on Yahiko," Kaoru said sharply, avoiding Kenshin's eyes.

"No. I'll go myself," the boy said pulling himself up straight.

"I'll walk you Yahiko. Sano can open up."

Kaoru wiped her face and pulled her hair back in a ponytail. Yahiko took her hand and they left Kenshin standing watching the door they'd walked out of. He had to have been crazy to come here, to insert himself into her life. He felt like he had a piece of lead in his chest as he made his way upstairs. He took his music and CD player into Yahiko's room and gathered up the clothes he had into a bundle. He'd keep some of them to change into on his journey. The rest he could give to Megumi's clinic so someone could use them. Kaoru hadn't made the bed and he looked down at it, memories of his time with her hitting him hard. He didn't want to go but he couldn't stay and see fear in her eyes where love had been. That was slow death. He would go north to his place of birth, and lose himself there where his death would be that of just another alcoholic. There were poisons he knew how to make that would leave no trace in his system. Before walking out of the door he wrote a simple note.

"I love you Kaoru. I always will love you."

He left the note on her pillow, touching the place where she slept gently before standing up and walking out of the dojo and out of her life.

Megumi shook her head and stood up looking at the old man. Kaoru was sleeping normally now, her breathing regular.

"She took a lot of those pills. I pumped her stomach and she should be up and around but she's just lying there…"

"She wants to die. All she does is read that note he left and cry."

"What the hell happened old man? What did he talk to you about?"

"I can't say Takani."

"But you know where he went."

The old man said nothing. It had been a week since Kenshin had left and Kaoru after coming home and reading the note he left had gone to the clinic complaining of not being able to sleep and been given a prescription for sleeping pills. Once home she'd downed almost the entire bottle and if Yahiko hadn't known how to induce vomiting, something he'd learned from dealing with his mother, she'd be dead now. But instead of going about her duties she'd been lying in her bed either crying her eyes out or staring into space. Sano and the others had been keeping things going but now going into the second week they were beginning to be worried.

"I knew that son of a bitch was no good for her," Sano said. "Look at what he's done."

"Sano Kenshin loves Kaoru. If he left he has a reason."

"Yeah, he got in too deep. Red hair means bad luck."
"Oh please Sano," Megumi snapped, at her wits end.

"Hi everybody."

"Yahiko."

Megumi hugged him and Sano, who had taken over the role Kenshin had played, gave him the once over.

"What did they send from school today?"

"They want me to try out for this special class."
"Special?"
"Only really smart kids get in."

"And you will be in with no problem," Megumi smiled.

"Go wash up and come eat."

"Yes ma'am."

He was about to go upstairs when Ayame and Hideki came in. He stood still and listened, his presence forgotten by the adults.

"Yes?" Sano asked.

"Where is Himura? He's missed his appointment…"
"Himura isn't here."

"What do you mean he's not here? He's not here now, he's on his way…"
"Gone. Flat left. Outta here. He's been gone a week now."

"You are kidding. If he's hiding somewhere here…"
"Get out."

No one had seen Kaoru come to the door, dark circles under her eyes, her hair unkempt.

"Kao, you need to rest…"

"Get out of my house!!! You're the reason he's gone. You just couldn't leave him alone could you? He fuckin' resigned from you and you still kept it up, harassing him. Well now he's gone, probably to kill himself and I hope you're happy!!!" she shrieked at the two psychiatrists.

"Kamiya-san…"

Kaoru walked to the phone and began to call the police.

"We'll leave. But why do you say he's going to kill himself?"

"You're the fuckin' shrink. You figure it out."

"I think it's best that you leave now," Sano said coming to stand next to Kaoru.

Once they left Kaoru staggered, her eyes going white, and fainted into Sano's arms.

"Kaoru!!!" Yahiko shouted.

Sano caught her and carried her upstairs, Yahiko following. The room still smelled of Kenshin and once Kaoru was comfortable they looked at each other.

"Do you think she's right Sano? Will he try and kill himself?"
"Kenshin has been through a hell we can only imagine. He wanted this to work, being with you, with Kaoru. But she has a point. They wanted him back and they were pushing him. When men like Shishio and Enishi show up a man has one or two choices. He wanted you two to be safe, and to do that he had to leave so they could chase him and leave you in peace."

"So he does love us."

"Very much. He sacrificed his happiness for your life, and I think Kaoru is right. He has nothing else to live for now, and when…"

Yahiko stood up, tears streaming down his face.

"Well he shoulda asked us first. He has no right to flat leave. And he'd better not die. There has to be a way to find him."

"There may be but we have to make the old man talk."

Yahiko grinned and followed Sano down the stairs and into the alley.

Hajime Saito knew where Kenshin was going, and how to find him. It would take time he told his superiors but he would find him before he managed to get himself killed. When pressed he refused to tell them where he would go and asked for a leave of absence. Once it was granted he spent three days with his wife and adopted son before heading for a remote village deep in the mountains. A potter lived there, a potter who had been the man who had taken the rough fisherman's son and made him into the man who would become Battousai the Manslayer. He had argued with the child he'd named Kenshin not to go with the men who offered sweet dreams of glory, that he had a chance to break the cycle. Kenshin had told him this one night when they'd been on a stake out watching their target's movements.

"I don't know what fuckin' cycle he's talking about but this is what I was born to do, and if I help my country in the process so be it."

But that had been a long time ago and the man Himura Kenshin had become had come to understand what his Master had meant. He left the woman to protect her from what he knew was coming, he had not lost his reasoning skills, and to make sure she wasn't harassed he would die and have his body found so that she and the boy could live in peace. The one thing he hadn't had time to do Hajime thought to himself was arrange his money, and that would mean he'd have to go into a major city at some point. He would not stay more than an hour or two, just enough time to turn his money over to Kaoru ensuring her financial stability for the rest of her life. So he followed the ancient paths in the woods only men like him and Himura remembered, paths that led to long abandoned shrines and homes, places where a man could rest a few days before the locals got suspicious and move on before they asked too many questions. Himura would go to die in the north, the place where he had been born. He was going to his sensei to ask forgiveness and a final blessing. Hajime had to get there first. It was evil he was going there to do but he had to do it. They needed Kenshin to take out Shishio, to see to it that his plans to overthrow the secular government didn't succeed. If his sensei blessed him then there would be nothing they could do to bring him back except threaten the woman and the boy and even Saito didn't want to go that route. He'd seen it done to lesser operatives and it wasn't pretty.

He left for the north in a sudden downpour and he frowned, being Japanese enough to heed the omen. Nothing good was going to come from this trip.

Kenshin slept during the day in places most animals wouldn't frequent and moved only after dark walking parallel to the paths he'd been taught to follow. His only purchase had been a pair of hiking boots and a rain jacket for the elements. He wouldn't need anything else. He had also carried the suit Kaoru had liked so much. He would stop in a branch of his bank he had used in the past for his transactions and make arrangements so that once his death was confirmed all of his assets would go to Kaoru. Yahiko would get money contingent on his passing his entrance exams for both high school and college. The brat would welcome the challenge Kenshin smiled as he roasted a bird he'd captured during the previous night.

The one thing he hadn't counted on was missing Kaoru like he did. He would wake up in the late afternoon and think about her, about what she was doing, if she had found the strength to go on without him. He knew she would suffer but he felt that she was young and with time she'd fall in love and marry someone worthy of her, not someone damaged like he was. She deserved better.

But as he roasted the bird he felt the darkness closing in and he reached out for what he had had, for the life he'd almost been able to live hoping it would sustain him. Running from the darkness he went into the town in the evening and went to a public phone dialing the private number hoping to hear Kaoru's voice. Instead Megumi answered.

"Yes?"

When no one responded she asked who was calling. Sano looked up and Yahiko ran over.

"It's Kenshin. I know it's Kenshin," he said.

"If this is you Kenshin you should know that Kaoru is better, she almost killed her self the day you left, but she got up to curse Hajime Saitou out today. I hope you're satisfied."

"Come home Kenshin!!!" Yahiko shouted before Megumi hung up.

"No," he said to the now silent phone, leaning his forehead on the cool metal casing.

He stood holding the phone in his hand and the owner of the store told him to get out or he was calling the police. Kenshin left and walked back to his camp in the woods where he wrapped the bird up to eat later and began to walk. They would survive. He kept telling himself that as he walked, avoiding towns altogether now. Hajime would be on his heels and he had to be careful. He couldn't find him until he was dead. Pushing himself Kenshin walked until noon, finding a place to hide and sleep until nightfall when he got up again and finished off the bird. Kaoru had his letter. She knew he loved her and would until he took his last breath. Then he would be able to rest, to finally have the memories gone from his head and maybe some of the blood from his hands.

Life around her went on Kaoru thought to herself. Sano and the others ran the dojo and gym and took care of Yahiko. She wasn't needed here anymore. Her place was at Kenshin's side. She let the idea sit in her consciousness looking at it from all angles. He was from the north, he hadn't said where, but there couldn't be too many places there and the name Himura wasn't all that common. She had to find him, make him see they could have a life together here among their friends.

She sat up and her head began to spin. She couldn't remember the last time she had really eaten a good meal.

Getting up she headed for the bathroom and showered, taking a good soak before dressing and slowly heading downstairs and out the door. When she got to AkabekoTaealmost fell over herself running to her side.

"Kaoru!! Sano can't know you're up. How…"

"I'm hungry Tae."

"Come with me."

Tae took her into her small office where she gave her something to eat that would soothe and nourish her.

"Are you going after Kenshin?" Tae asked. She was blunt to a fault and never beat around the bush when the direct route was there.

"I need to know where he's from. All he told me was the North."
"That's a pretty big place and if you don't know where you're going it's treacherous. What happened Kaoru? Why did he leave?"

"He had an episode and it got pretty hairy. He stopped short of, of hurting me. I was so upset I didn't know it would drive him away from me, from us."

"Kenshin loves you Kaoru and if he thought he could hurt you he'd do exactly what he's doing, leave."

"He, we, didn't talk after…"

"What did you say Kaoru?"

"I told him I wanted him to leave."

"Oh. Well he did what you wanted him to. Now you have to find him and tell him you're an asshole."

Despite the heaviness on her heart Kaoru laughed.

"Thank you Tae. Now I have to start looking for where he was born."

"That's my girl," Tae smiled.

Kaoru decided the best thing to do was sort her desk and make nice neat piles of the shit that was on it. She was in the midst of this when there was a knock.

"Yes?"

Sano opened the door slightly.

"Someone here to see you," Sano said with a strange look on his face.

"Send him, or her, in."

The man looked around with a look of disdain on his face but was polite, bowing and sitting down across from Kaoru.

"You are KamiyaKaoru?"

"Yes."

"A client of my bank, a Mr.HimuraKenshin, has made an arrangement for disposition of his money. He is gravely ill and said he was repaying a debt."

"I, I don't understand."

"Upon confirmation of his death all of his assets will be transferred to you. He is also setting up a trust fund for a boy MyonjinYahikoto assure his education. He insisted that a representative of the bank bring the details to you and that's why I'm here," he said, handing Kaoru an official looking envelope. Her hands shaking she opened the envelope and read its contents carefully. There was money, a lot of it, and she would be set for life. Yahiko's education would be paid for and she could fix things up here.

Later after the man left she went upstairs to her bedroom, what had been their bedroom, his slippers still by the door. She would find him before he died, tell him everything was all right, that she knew he had not really wanted to hurt her. And he would come back here and make love to her, hold her through the night and be by her side during the day. Tonight she would start looking for birth records from 1975. There couldn't be too many kids named HimuraShinta.

The men, including the one called leader, looked at Shishio.

"You want us to find him?"

"Yes. Use our network in the country side. Someone will see the little bastard. When you have him secure him well because he is dangerous even in his present state. I will come and personally see he is sent to the afterlife."

The men, hardened killers except for the Leader, nodded and melted into the night leaving the Leader with Shishio.

"The Takani's want to move forward more aggressively. I think we're strong enough now to stage a large rally in a better place."

The Leader nodded in agreement. He was seeing the movement grow with many young men interested in the life of the Samurai and the rules they had lived by. Classes in swordsmanship and studies of classical literature and history were filling up.

"We don't want to tip our hand too soon though or they'll come down on us."

"I know."

The man knew Shishio as a scholar, his disguise during this part of the work. But a simple scholar would not have a woman like Yumi waiting in a sedan for him, nor would a simple scholar live as he did in a large compound outside of Tokyo. He looked over at Yumi who was inspecting a nail running his eyes over her body and the pleasures it held before turning his eyes back to the road. Himura had left and headed who knows where. It was imperative that he be found and killed before he could be brought back to Tokyo. They had the same training and he knew the way he would travel, on foot and away from the beaten paths of modern life. For Himura the past was that, the past. For him learning of the old pathways and the ruins of the old Samurai villages and towns that existed along them had been a revelation. Families like the Takani's thought they ran things and he was content to let them think that way for now. Soon enough he'd have them all slaughtered and he would stand alone as ruler of a resurgent Japan with men of the shadows spread throughout the country ready to eliminate any opposition, real or imagined. Yumi lay back forcing his eyes to take in her breasts. He felt himself stir and grinned, gunning the engine. She would do, for now.