Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ The Evil TV Clicker Thing from the FUTURE! ❯ FINALLY Getting Somewhere! ...Sort of... ( Chapter 8 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: Jericho Ryuuki 
Anime/Manga: Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Adventure / Comedy / Mystery / | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.26.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.1K | Visits: 175 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Adventure / Comedy / Mystery / | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.26.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.1K | Visits: 175 | Status: Completed
Da Evil TV Clicka 'Ting From Da Future Part 8, Foo'!
~By J-Dawg, ya'll!
. . .
Hiei: Yo yo yo foo', what you on? *glares at Jericho* Why I be talkin' dis way?
Jericho: *in hysterics*
Yami: Dis ain't funny, yo! *covers his mouth*
Hiei: I gunna bust a CAP IN YO ASS, FOO'!! Den I be goin' OLD SCHOO' ON YO PUNK ASS!
Jericho: *rolling with laughter*
Yami: *sigh* On wit' da chapter, foo'!... *makes gangsta hand signal without meaning too* O_O Dis be fucked up, ya'll! *covers his mouth again*
. . .
lAsT tImE (for those of you with short-term memory XP):
. . .
Suddenly a loud scream came from the direction Kenshin had disappeared to. And it sounded like Kenshin's scream!
"That sounded like Kenshin's scream!" Cam cried out, repeating what the author had just written, which was quite unnecessary, but tell that to the author or somebody who cares.
Sano immediately took off after the sound, and Cam wasn't far behind.
"Kenshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin, we'll save yoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuu!!" She wailed like a siren.
Then Sano stopped dead in front of her, causing Cam to smack blindly into him because she had her eyes closed because she is a retard.
"Hey, what gives, Sagara?"
Sano pointed a shaking hand in the spot near where Kenshin was standing by the forest...
. . .
nOw:
. . .
"HOLY SHIT!!" Cam shrieked. "That is the BIGGEST FREAKIN' SPIDER I'VE EVER SEEN!!!" She stared in shock at the sight before her...Kenshin quivering in fear looking up at the gigantic arachnid that dangled inches above his head [I could go into detail about how gross this spider looks, but wouldn't want anyone to lose their lunch!]
Kenshin shut his eyes, afraid to move, tiny beads of sweat beginning to run down his forehead. "Will...somebody...please...kill it?" He whispered. "I...really...dislike spiders...that I do..."
Cam shook her head violently. "NO, I can't! GAH!!" She flopped down to the ground and curled up into a tight ball. "EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!!"
"Please!" Kenshin pleaded, as if he was afraid for his life.
And Sano? He was laughing his ass off! Battousai the Man Slayer, afraid of a SPIDER?! That was just too good! He fell over, laughing so hard that tears were streaming down his cheeks. When he had pointed out the spider to Cam, he had been desperately trying to contain his laughter, but he just couldn't hold it in anymore. "I wish I had a camera!" He howled. "Technology may be the work of the devil but THIS is a Kodak moment!"
Cam was too busy rocking back and forth to realize that Sano shouldn't know what a Kodak moment was... "I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay..." She repeated over and over and over again. All the while poor Kenshin, who was actually the one in trouble, was frozen at the spot, white as a sheet with a paralyzed expression on his face.
Sanosuke wiped the tears out of his eyes, still laughing hard. "That's one huge spider!" He commented, smirking at Kenshin. "Almost as big as that cliffie the author left the readers last chapter!"
Cam shuddered. "I'm not going NEAR that thing, ew..."
Sano shrugged. "Well I guess it's up to me, huh?" He walked over to where Kenshin was standing and the spider was dangling, grabbed a large stick from off the ground, and swung it like a baseball bat at the spider as hard as he could. You'd think this would smush the spider into many many pieces, right?
Nope.
The spider flew off its web and went sailing through the air and over the trees with a resounding "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."
O_O; "I had no idea spiders could talk," Sano said as the stick he used to bat the spider hung loosely in his hand at his side.
"WHOO-HOO GRANDSLAM!!!" Screamed Cam, who was conveniently hyper-active again. She bounced around the place, dancing to music that apparently only she could hear. "Sano killed the spider YAY, Sano killed the spider YAY, Sano killed the spider YAY!! Cute hott sexy Sano killed the spider, YAY!!"
O///O Of course this grabbed Sano's attention immediately. "Say what?"
"..............................................................NOTHING !" Cam covered her mouth and gave him a silly grin. "You's just hearin' tings, bub!"
Sano stared at her, once again giving her that 'oh-gawd-I'm-stuck-with-the-psycho' look. "You're very strange, missy. Ya know that?"
"Duh!" She replied with another smile...one of those 'I-see-that-look-you're-giving-me-and-I-don't-care' smiles.
Kenshin gave them both a weary look, one of those 'if-you-two-don't-cut-it-out-I'm-gonna-tie-you-both-upside-down-to-a-tree' looks. You know the one, right? ...No? Nobody's ever looked at YOU that way? Hm...oh well. He shook his head. "Listen you two, are we ever going to get around to saving Yahiko?"
"Yeah, let's save the brat! YA YA YA!!!" Cam chanted as she continued to bounce around. It was almost as if she were a hyper child on a sugar rampage...oh, wait.
-_- "How about 'thanks for saving my life, Sano' huh?" Sanosuke gave Kenshin a glare.
O.O;; "I'm sorry Sano, that I am!" Kenshin apologized. "And thank you very much for saving me. Now we really have to go and rescue Yahiko! We've been stalling quite long enough, and I would really like to get home before dinner, de gozarou!"
Cam suddenly stopped singing her song about kittens and rainbows, turning to look at Kenshin. "But Kenshin, we already ate dinner! DUH!!"
Kenshin shook his head. "No, Miss Camille, we actually haven't eaten in three days. That's how long this is taking!"
O.o "WWWWHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!" Every living thing within a five mile radius jumped fifty feet in response to Cam's ear-splitting banshee shriek. "No food? NO FOOD???? OHMYGAWD we're all going to DIE!!" She clutched her stomach and fell to the ground, rolling around pathetically and muttering something about a will and life insurance.
@___________________________@ Kenshin lay knocked-out on the ground.
@___________________________@ Sanosuke lay knocked-out right beside Kenshin.
Cam sat up and noticed them on the ground. "GUYS! This is NO time for a nap, ya got me? We gotta go find some food, I'm starving and I'm gonna die! Do ya hear me? Huh?" -_-;; They weren't responding. Cam stood up, wondering if it was something she said. Nevertheless, she had to make them wake up so she could go find her precious food! "Hmmm..." A smirk spread across her face as she got an idea in that puny little brain of hers. "WHOO PILLOW PILE!" She yelled as she took a flying leap and landed on Sanosuke's stomach. He made an 'oooff' noise as all the air was pushed out of his lungs, but remained unconscious. "Well this sucks," Cam mused to herself. She poked Sano's chest. "Wakey wakey! Come on dude, get up!" Then she found that poking Sano's chest was great fun and began to repeat the action over and over again.
Finally Sanosuke came to, and the first thing he noticed--or rather, felt--was somebody prodding him in the chest. He opened his eyes and saw Cam amusing herself by poking him and grinning like a two-year-old. -_- "What are you doing?" He pushed her off of him and sat up. "Do me a favor and NEVER scream like that again, okay!?"
"Uhh, like what?" She didn't seem to have the slightest clue what she had done wrong. Sano sighed. It was utterly hopeless. SHE was utterly hopeless. He leaned over to Kenshin and began to shake him awake.
"Oro?" Kenshin mumbled as he woke up. He rubbed his eyes. "What happened?"
Sano shook his head. "Nevermind that. We're going to go save Yahiko and then we're going to go home, okay?"
Kenshin shrugged. "That's what I've been wanting to do all along, Sano."
"Home? We're going home? YAY WE'RE GOING HOME!" Cam smiled again and hugged both of the guys at the same time. "But I have to go to my own home...I can't stay with you guys, as much as I want to..." She looked sad.
Kenshin and Sanosuke tried to hold it in, really they did, but their relieved laughter burst forth all the same. They were so glad that they didn't have to put up with this psycho much longer. Pretty soon she had to go home, and then she would be terrorizing some OTHER poor universe! The two of them laughed so hard they were clutching each other for support, tears streaming down their cheeks.
Cam poked her head in between them. "Whoooooo, are you a couple of yaoi boys?" She made her eyebrows jump up and down.
>_< "We most certainly are NOT!" Sano let go of Kenshin in disgust. "I'm as straight as an arrow, missy! ...Now Kenshin on the other hand..."
"Oro! I'm not gay either, Sanosuke," Kenshin told him with a glare.
"Well you never know," Cam pointed out. "What with the pink shirt and everything. Just like Kurama's pink outfit! And yes it IS pink, you rabid fangirls, no matter what you say it isn't going to make his suit ANY less pink!!!!!!" She screamed at the sky. Kenshin and Sano exchanged blank looks. This was to be expected of her, after all. She had already proven that she was QUITE the insane one.
"Oh for the love of GAWD I just want to freaking rescue YAHIKO DAMMIT CAN'T WE JUST DO THAT ALREADY!?!!" Kenshin yelled, pulling at his hair.
Cam shrugged. "Okay. We can do that, let's go. I know where to find Mr. Stranger."
O.0;; "You do?" Kenshin gave her the 'you-better-not-be-screwing-with-me' look.
"Yeah, sure," she replied, actually sounding normal, which was a miracle in itself.
"How is that possible?" Sano demanded.
Cam held up the script. "Well it says in the script that I know exactly where Mr. Stranger is keeping Yahiko. He's in a dark cave about two hundred feet away from where we're standing right now...just on the other side of the forest, actually."
Both Kenshin and Sano facevaulted, and lay twitching on the ground for the next few minutes.
Cam crossed her arms patiently and watched them. "Are you both done yet? I'd like to get going..."
Sano jumped to his feet. "Sure, fine. Friggin' schizo...come on Kenshin," he said, pulling the swirly-eyed samurai to his feet. And so the three of them headed towards the lair of Mr. Stranger, where hopefully, if all goes according to plan, they would find Yahiko and kick Mr. Stranger's fruity butt.
. . .
.::AUTHOR NOTES::.
No cliffie that time, although you people are getting off a lot easier than the poor souls at FF.net who had to endure weeks of terrible cliff-hangers. They were about to revolt, I tell you!! Anywayz...REVIEW PLEASE!! I love reviews, they help me write even MORE insanity ;)
Hmm...how 'bout if I make the 20th reviewer a special guest in one of the chapters? ...This is assuming twenty people will even read this mindless dribble, but hey. I'm trying!
~By J-Dawg, ya'll!
. . .
Hiei: Yo yo yo foo', what you on? *glares at Jericho* Why I be talkin' dis way?
Jericho: *in hysterics*
Yami: Dis ain't funny, yo! *covers his mouth*
Hiei: I gunna bust a CAP IN YO ASS, FOO'!! Den I be goin' OLD SCHOO' ON YO PUNK ASS!
Jericho: *rolling with laughter*
Yami: *sigh* On wit' da chapter, foo'!... *makes gangsta hand signal without meaning too* O_O Dis be fucked up, ya'll! *covers his mouth again*
. . .
lAsT tImE (for those of you with short-term memory XP):
. . .
Suddenly a loud scream came from the direction Kenshin had disappeared to. And it sounded like Kenshin's scream!
"That sounded like Kenshin's scream!" Cam cried out, repeating what the author had just written, which was quite unnecessary, but tell that to the author or somebody who cares.
Sano immediately took off after the sound, and Cam wasn't far behind.
"Kenshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin, we'll save yoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuu!!" She wailed like a siren.
Then Sano stopped dead in front of her, causing Cam to smack blindly into him because she had her eyes closed because she is a retard.
"Hey, what gives, Sagara?"
Sano pointed a shaking hand in the spot near where Kenshin was standing by the forest...
. . .
nOw:
. . .
"HOLY SHIT!!" Cam shrieked. "That is the BIGGEST FREAKIN' SPIDER I'VE EVER SEEN!!!" She stared in shock at the sight before her...Kenshin quivering in fear looking up at the gigantic arachnid that dangled inches above his head [I could go into detail about how gross this spider looks, but wouldn't want anyone to lose their lunch!]
Kenshin shut his eyes, afraid to move, tiny beads of sweat beginning to run down his forehead. "Will...somebody...please...kill it?" He whispered. "I...really...dislike spiders...that I do..."
Cam shook her head violently. "NO, I can't! GAH!!" She flopped down to the ground and curled up into a tight ball. "EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!!"
"Please!" Kenshin pleaded, as if he was afraid for his life.
And Sano? He was laughing his ass off! Battousai the Man Slayer, afraid of a SPIDER?! That was just too good! He fell over, laughing so hard that tears were streaming down his cheeks. When he had pointed out the spider to Cam, he had been desperately trying to contain his laughter, but he just couldn't hold it in anymore. "I wish I had a camera!" He howled. "Technology may be the work of the devil but THIS is a Kodak moment!"
Cam was too busy rocking back and forth to realize that Sano shouldn't know what a Kodak moment was... "I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay..." She repeated over and over and over again. All the while poor Kenshin, who was actually the one in trouble, was frozen at the spot, white as a sheet with a paralyzed expression on his face.
Sanosuke wiped the tears out of his eyes, still laughing hard. "That's one huge spider!" He commented, smirking at Kenshin. "Almost as big as that cliffie the author left the readers last chapter!"
Cam shuddered. "I'm not going NEAR that thing, ew..."
Sano shrugged. "Well I guess it's up to me, huh?" He walked over to where Kenshin was standing and the spider was dangling, grabbed a large stick from off the ground, and swung it like a baseball bat at the spider as hard as he could. You'd think this would smush the spider into many many pieces, right?
Nope.
The spider flew off its web and went sailing through the air and over the trees with a resounding "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."
O_O; "I had no idea spiders could talk," Sano said as the stick he used to bat the spider hung loosely in his hand at his side.
"WHOO-HOO GRANDSLAM!!!" Screamed Cam, who was conveniently hyper-active again. She bounced around the place, dancing to music that apparently only she could hear. "Sano killed the spider YAY, Sano killed the spider YAY, Sano killed the spider YAY!! Cute hott sexy Sano killed the spider, YAY!!"
O///O Of course this grabbed Sano's attention immediately. "Say what?"
"..............................................................NOTHING !" Cam covered her mouth and gave him a silly grin. "You's just hearin' tings, bub!"
Sano stared at her, once again giving her that 'oh-gawd-I'm-stuck-with-the-psycho' look. "You're very strange, missy. Ya know that?"
"Duh!" She replied with another smile...one of those 'I-see-that-look-you're-giving-me-and-I-don't-care' smiles.
Kenshin gave them both a weary look, one of those 'if-you-two-don't-cut-it-out-I'm-gonna-tie-you-both-upside-down-to-a-tree' looks. You know the one, right? ...No? Nobody's ever looked at YOU that way? Hm...oh well. He shook his head. "Listen you two, are we ever going to get around to saving Yahiko?"
"Yeah, let's save the brat! YA YA YA!!!" Cam chanted as she continued to bounce around. It was almost as if she were a hyper child on a sugar rampage...oh, wait.
-_- "How about 'thanks for saving my life, Sano' huh?" Sanosuke gave Kenshin a glare.
O.O;; "I'm sorry Sano, that I am!" Kenshin apologized. "And thank you very much for saving me. Now we really have to go and rescue Yahiko! We've been stalling quite long enough, and I would really like to get home before dinner, de gozarou!"
Cam suddenly stopped singing her song about kittens and rainbows, turning to look at Kenshin. "But Kenshin, we already ate dinner! DUH!!"
Kenshin shook his head. "No, Miss Camille, we actually haven't eaten in three days. That's how long this is taking!"
O.o "WWWWHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!" Every living thing within a five mile radius jumped fifty feet in response to Cam's ear-splitting banshee shriek. "No food? NO FOOD???? OHMYGAWD we're all going to DIE!!" She clutched her stomach and fell to the ground, rolling around pathetically and muttering something about a will and life insurance.
@___________________________@ Kenshin lay knocked-out on the ground.
@___________________________@ Sanosuke lay knocked-out right beside Kenshin.
Cam sat up and noticed them on the ground. "GUYS! This is NO time for a nap, ya got me? We gotta go find some food, I'm starving and I'm gonna die! Do ya hear me? Huh?" -_-;; They weren't responding. Cam stood up, wondering if it was something she said. Nevertheless, she had to make them wake up so she could go find her precious food! "Hmmm..." A smirk spread across her face as she got an idea in that puny little brain of hers. "WHOO PILLOW PILE!" She yelled as she took a flying leap and landed on Sanosuke's stomach. He made an 'oooff' noise as all the air was pushed out of his lungs, but remained unconscious. "Well this sucks," Cam mused to herself. She poked Sano's chest. "Wakey wakey! Come on dude, get up!" Then she found that poking Sano's chest was great fun and began to repeat the action over and over again.
Finally Sanosuke came to, and the first thing he noticed--or rather, felt--was somebody prodding him in the chest. He opened his eyes and saw Cam amusing herself by poking him and grinning like a two-year-old. -_- "What are you doing?" He pushed her off of him and sat up. "Do me a favor and NEVER scream like that again, okay!?"
"Uhh, like what?" She didn't seem to have the slightest clue what she had done wrong. Sano sighed. It was utterly hopeless. SHE was utterly hopeless. He leaned over to Kenshin and began to shake him awake.
"Oro?" Kenshin mumbled as he woke up. He rubbed his eyes. "What happened?"
Sano shook his head. "Nevermind that. We're going to go save Yahiko and then we're going to go home, okay?"
Kenshin shrugged. "That's what I've been wanting to do all along, Sano."
"Home? We're going home? YAY WE'RE GOING HOME!" Cam smiled again and hugged both of the guys at the same time. "But I have to go to my own home...I can't stay with you guys, as much as I want to..." She looked sad.
Kenshin and Sanosuke tried to hold it in, really they did, but their relieved laughter burst forth all the same. They were so glad that they didn't have to put up with this psycho much longer. Pretty soon she had to go home, and then she would be terrorizing some OTHER poor universe! The two of them laughed so hard they were clutching each other for support, tears streaming down their cheeks.
Cam poked her head in between them. "Whoooooo, are you a couple of yaoi boys?" She made her eyebrows jump up and down.
>_< "We most certainly are NOT!" Sano let go of Kenshin in disgust. "I'm as straight as an arrow, missy! ...Now Kenshin on the other hand..."
"Oro! I'm not gay either, Sanosuke," Kenshin told him with a glare.
"Well you never know," Cam pointed out. "What with the pink shirt and everything. Just like Kurama's pink outfit! And yes it IS pink, you rabid fangirls, no matter what you say it isn't going to make his suit ANY less pink!!!!!!" She screamed at the sky. Kenshin and Sano exchanged blank looks. This was to be expected of her, after all. She had already proven that she was QUITE the insane one.
"Oh for the love of GAWD I just want to freaking rescue YAHIKO DAMMIT CAN'T WE JUST DO THAT ALREADY!?!!" Kenshin yelled, pulling at his hair.
Cam shrugged. "Okay. We can do that, let's go. I know where to find Mr. Stranger."
O.0;; "You do?" Kenshin gave her the 'you-better-not-be-screwing-with-me' look.
"Yeah, sure," she replied, actually sounding normal, which was a miracle in itself.
"How is that possible?" Sano demanded.
Cam held up the script. "Well it says in the script that I know exactly where Mr. Stranger is keeping Yahiko. He's in a dark cave about two hundred feet away from where we're standing right now...just on the other side of the forest, actually."
Both Kenshin and Sano facevaulted, and lay twitching on the ground for the next few minutes.
Cam crossed her arms patiently and watched them. "Are you both done yet? I'd like to get going..."
Sano jumped to his feet. "Sure, fine. Friggin' schizo...come on Kenshin," he said, pulling the swirly-eyed samurai to his feet. And so the three of them headed towards the lair of Mr. Stranger, where hopefully, if all goes according to plan, they would find Yahiko and kick Mr. Stranger's fruity butt.
. . .
.::AUTHOR NOTES::.
No cliffie that time, although you people are getting off a lot easier than the poor souls at FF.net who had to endure weeks of terrible cliff-hangers. They were about to revolt, I tell you!! Anywayz...REVIEW PLEASE!! I love reviews, they help me write even MORE insanity ;)
Hmm...how 'bout if I make the 20th reviewer a special guest in one of the chapters? ...This is assuming twenty people will even read this mindless dribble, but hey. I'm trying!