Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ When Push Comes To Shove ❯ Shove (just a little) ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: A few days ago, I had a horrible nightmare. The seniors in our school has camped out but it was unfortunately for the Citizens Army Training we are all required to undergo. I and two of my friends get sued and we couldn't make a clean get away because the officers weren't cooperating. -.-;

Anyway, if that is indeed a foreshadowing to the near future let me tell all the lawyers out there who are planning something malevolent on a poor little fan like me. I_ do _ not _ own _ anything. I am just borrowing RK a little, ok? So please…. Don't let that dream come true, especially the CAT part.

Note: Sorry for the delay. Busy.

Chapter 2: Shove (just a little)

Sagara Sanosuke was not that bad a neighbor. He lives alone in his little apartment, usually only making his appearance in that messy cubbyhole to sleep for the night. Or rather, early morning and well into the day, most of the times. At noon, he's out of there. In fact, no one has ever seen him eat there.

He has never disturbed his neighbors; except for the time he brought home an infernal dog that barked everyone out of their sleep. Even to the landlord he caused no problem since he manages to pay his rent every month. (How? It is a mystery. Some say a certain lady doctor gives him money. Oooh…). The little children are intrigued by him and thus exchanged stories about the giant man with spikes on the head. And the adults…. well, let us say, humans are humans.

Today was different, though. Sagara-san was home in the afternoon and with two other gentlemen as visitors. And none of them went to nap. In fact, what with all the racket that has gone on in the place, it has been a miracle the little house was still standing.

Now, what are three grown men doing in a tiny home of a bachelor? (In the first place, how did they fit?). Nobody in his/her right mind would ever guess in a million years.

"Would you quit fussing?" demanded Sanosuke. "How do you expect me to do this properly if you keep on twitching?"

"Having your hair pulled and tugged is not exactly a favorable experience de gozaru," mumbled Kenshin.

"Be patient, man. You think this is easy? Your hair is unmanageable. No wonder you just leave it scattered all over your face."

"I do not."

"There. It's done." Sano stepped back and inspected his handiwork. He whistled. "You look good, Kenshin. Better. That high ponytail is a good suggestion, Enishi."

Enishi shrugged. "That was how the Battousai used to wear his hair."

"I see." Sano slapped Kenshin on the back. "Why'd you change your hairstyle, buddy?"

"I am not too fond of reminiscing on my past de gozaru," he answered quietly.

"Oh." Sano could not erase the look of guilt on his face.

"It's alright," assured the rurouni. "I would like to look my best tonight."

"That's what we're here for, pal." Sano resumed his investigation. "Hmmmm…. That navy blue gi is a great improvement. " He scanned the clean white hakama Kenshin was wearing that surprisingly didn't have a single patch on it. "Your hakama's fine. At least you won't look like a pauper." His eyes stopped at the swordsman's feet. "Ooops."

"What?"

"The tabi has to go. I mean, pink and blue?"

Kenshin frowned. "What's wrong with that? It's a nice combination. It has the same color as my other gi. And it is not pink."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it isn't"

"What is it then?"

"It's fuchsia."

"Pink."

They looked at Enishi expectantly. Enishi raised his eyebrow as if to say: Why ask me?

"You're the one with overdeveloped senses, remember?" explained Sano, perceiving the unspoken question.

Enishi shook his head in a gesture of exasperation. "Magenta."

"What's the difference?" muttered Kenshin.

"Magenta's purplish pink and Fuchsia's bluish red."

"See?" Sano was grinning triumphantly. "Still a shade of pink."

Kenshin shrugged. "I don't see the problem with that."

"Hello? You're like on your way to ask a woman to propagate your bloodline and you're wearing pink? Pink isn't exactly considered a "manly" color."

"Sano, isn't that sexism?"

Sano struggled to keep his cool. "Just- just change it, ok?"

"H-hai de gozaru."

After they managed to find a pair of navy blue tabi, Sano declared Kenshin fashionably fit.

"You're not exactly breath-taking or setting new trends but you look fine," said the rooster. "Dark color is good since it's a night affair. Simple. Elegant." He nodded in approval. "Perfect for the occasion. By the way, leave the sword."

"Oro?" Kenshin clutched the sakabatou as if having it a few inches away from him would mean the end of the world. "But why?"

"Look man." Sano was obviously sick of the speech he had been repeating for twenty nine times already. "You are having a romantic dinner at the most chic expensive restaurant in Tokyo to ask the woman you love for her hand in marriage. Are you telling me you're still keen on creating trouble with that? I mean, that thing attracts trouble like a magnet!"

"It's not the reversed edge sword, it's my face. And scar. And hair." Kenshin sighed. "Trouble may be inevitable which is why I need the sakabatou to protect Kaoru-dono."

"Look, psycho-boy and I'll be hanging around so don't worry about it."

"I think I'll do my own protecting," said Kenshin rather stiffly. "And if you don't mind, I'd like to keep this affair a private matter." He glared at Sano. "I mean it."

"Don't you want any moral support?"

"….."

Sano gulped. "Well, we'll keep distance, ok? But the sword stays with us. If there's a commotion, we're bound to hear it anyway."

"Fine," submitted Kenshin with a sigh.

Sano held out his hand. "Well?"

Kenshin merely looked at his open palm. "Well, what?"

"Earth to Himura. Are you there?"

Kenshin blinked puppy dog eyes at him. "But it's like my good luck charm. I want to keep it close."

"Kenshin. Sword. In my hand. Now."

"Do I really have to?" He was still hugging the reversed-edge to his chest.

"Kenshin, give it to me!" Sano tugged at the scabbard.

"Ok." However, he still did not loosen his hold.

Sano gave him a dirty look. "Then let go, dammit!"

"NO!"

And so, Sano and Enishi ended up wrestling the rurouni to obtain sword when they finally did, they managed to prod the indignant, not to mention a little teary, ex-assassin to walk.

A little later, when they were nearing the wooded area behind the dojo, Kenshin spoke meekly. "Would you mind me asking one question?"

"That's two," answered Sano. "And, no, I don't just as long as it's not one of your stupid philosophical arguments."

"Whatever." Kenshin looked at the engagement ring he held, a thin ring of white gold and a medium sized stone, a blue diamond with deep intricate cuts. "How do I pay for this and everything else?"

"Oh. I've taken care of that. Everything accounted for. I'll even pay for the wedding and stuff."

Kenshin raised an eyebrow dubiously. "Sano," he said, suspicion hinted at his tone. "There better not be anything illegal about all this."

"Oh no!" Sano raised his hands, palms outward, as if to affirm his innocence. "It's your money acquired fairly and squarely. Nothing illegal at all."

Kenshin sighed. "Would you mind?"

"Sure, man. Remember that lottery ticket you bought-"

"You forced me to buy."

"Fine, I forced you to buy last month? Well, you won and that's a number of hundred grands. I didn't give it to you since you'd probably spend it on some idiot thing about the dojo."

"It's not idiot. It's my home. I want to take care of it."

"I suppose it's investment," said Sano thoughtfully. "Well, you can pour what's left of your cash later when you legally own it." He winked at the rurouni meaningfully. "Together with Jou-chan, of course."

Kenshin frowned. "I thought you said there's nothing illegal about this?"

"Lottery isn't illegal."

"It's still gambling."

Sano lost it. "It doesn't matter, ok? It took care of the financial part of the operation and that's that."

"Orororo…"

"Oh yeah. It's good that you reminded me. Those oros and de gozarus and the Kaoru-dono. They all have to go."

Kenshin looked flabbergasted. "But why?"

"They- they, well, they sound so prissy and dandy and-"

"It's a form of respect!" Kenshin was incredulous. "Don't you think Kaoru-dono deserves the outmost respect?"

"Yeah, but… but…"

"But what?"

"Aughhh!" Sano tore at his spiky hair in desperation. "How the hell do I say this?" He demanded to no one in particular.

"When the heart is willing it will find a thousand ways," quoted Enishi. "If it's unwilling it will find a thousand excuses."

Sano pointed at the other's direction gratefully. "That's it! My thoughts exactly." He turned back to Kenshin. "How come you keep on complaining? I'm starting to believe you're not really up to it. Are ya?"

"Don't try to impress anybody by pretending otherwise you'll have to keep that standard for the rest of your life," countered Kenshin. He didn't really answer the question nor refute their statements but Sano didn't notice till later.

"Fine. Fine. Fine." Sano gave up. "So we won't change your speech patterns. But we will fix your script."

"Oro? Isn't it better if it comes from the heart?"

"Oh yeah? You'd just oro the night away, Mister From-the-heart. Trust me. It's major turn off."

"I thought Kaoru-dono thought it cute." Kenshin was wearing an innocently baffled look bordering on betrayal. "You said so."

"Sometimes, it is. Sometimes, it isn't. When you're courting a girl, it's not advisable to be hesitant, ok? And when you, knowing you, are aggressive, she'll surely take you seriously. Here." Sanosuke shoved a crumpled piece of paper into his hands.

"Oro."

"Go on, read. " Brown eyes were sparkling in anticipation.

And so, Kenshin spread out the paper and began reading the contents aloud.

"It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is painful is to love someone and never finding the courage to let the person know how you feel.

"I never believed in love at first sight, never believed till I saw you that night. You are the vision I've been longing to see, but what could an angel ever find in me?

"Do you know that you're the nicest, sweetest girl, that I think of you night and day? You're so special, you're so kind. But there's something's wrong about you…. you aren't mine.

"Would you be my angel to have and to hold? Would you be my rose, to cherish more than gold? I love you so much. I wish you were mine, but all I can do is wait till that time.

"I'm frustrated 'coz I can't feel your touch. I'm frustrated 'coz I miss you so much. I'm frustrated 'coz we can't be together. I'm frustrated 'coz I'll love you forever.

"If you love me, please let me know 'coz it hurts to love when you have to go. Take care of me. Don't go away 'coz if you love me, you'll stay. I love you and don't you know why? You've got me from when you said hi!

"If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do and I will.

"I may not have shown you the real love in the way you wanted me to, but I am more than happy to love you in the way I understand what love is.

"Love is the manifestation of affection with the intention of injection and ejection in the midsection done in a nice position during a private session."

Kenshin took a moment to let everything sink in. When it did, especially the last part, his eyes popped out of their sockets.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SANO?!?!"

"Calm down, Kenshin!" said Sano, none too calm himself.

"CALM DOWN?! HOW CAN YOU MAKE UP SOMETHING SO SUGGESTIVE THAT-" His hand went to where his hilt was supposed to be and remembers….. Enishi has it.

"Alright, then." Sano was choking on stifled laughter. "You can omit the last paragraph!"

"You bet I will." Kenshin glowered at him. "Where'd you get this anyway?"

"From Daigoro. Stuff he read."

"I didn't know he reads romance novels."

Sano smirked. "Now he does."

Kenshin shook his head as if to clear it. "Back to the topic at hand. What do you want me to do with this?" He waved the doggy piece of paper at the street fighter's face.

"You read it to Jou-chan, you moron!"

"You want me to recite something you plagiarized out of a book!?"

"Do you have any other ideas?"

"How about if I say my own thing?"

"Out of the question." Sano glared at him adamantly. "You'll only chase her away."

Kenshin looked helpless. "Well, won't it be offensive?"

"Find a way to keep the paper out of sight, idiot."

"How?"

"Figure it out. You're Hitokiri Battousai of the old, remember?"

"Oroooo…"

"Look. You could have had memorized and rehearsed it but you lost too much time because of your stupid complaints."

Kenshin made an odd sound that conveyed a cross between indignation and disbelief. "You think this is easy?"

"I already did everything for you so stop your jawing already. Come along. We'll be late."

The rurouni obediently followed the gangster with the lunatic bringing up the rear. He mumbled unintelligible things about blackmail and coercion and was wearing a face not proper to be termed meek. Suddenly though, he froze on his tracks, a terrified expression on his face. Clearly, a horrible thought crossed his mind.

Enishi bumped against him and caused a domino effect.

"Dammit!" yelled Sano angrily as he picked up himself from underneath the other two. "What is it this time?"

Enishi stood up coolly as if nothing happened. Kenshin remained sprawled on the earth so Sano picked him up and shook him.

"Once and for all, are we gonna do this or not?" he demanded severely.

Kenshin turned huge panicked eyes to his fiend, I mean friend.

"Sano, what if she rejects me?" he squeaked, sick with fear. "What if she says no?"

"Jou-chan!?" exclaimed Sano, genuinely stupefied by the question. "Jou-chan reject you?"

Kenshin returned the rooster's incredulous stare with one full of mental anguish. Sano blinked. That the thought never even passed his mind was evident on his expression.

"Jou-chan-… well, Jou-chan is like nuts about you. She'll probably faint in disbelief then thank the heavens for such a miracle. I mean, I'm sure she'll jump at the chance to get hitched to you. You're like her dream lover."

"Sano-"

"Look, the day Kamiya Kaoru would turn down an offer of marriage from you is the day when the skies fall, chicken have lips, pigs fly and-… and-… Shinomori Aoshi would give Makamichi Misao a salsa dip and give her a torrid passionate kiss on the dance floor!"

"Oro!" yelped Kenshin plaintively. "Insult me all you want Sano but the things you're saying is making Kaoru sound so… so… well, desperate…."

"You mean, you don't think she isn't?" Sano muttered a little too impetuously. "Can't you see how hungry for you your inamorata is?"

Kenshin dove for his sakabatou right then and there but Enishi was taking the guard duty very seriously. Of course, he also lunged for Enishi's katana but the latter was protecting that even more closely. He didn't manage to retrieve either one of the blades but Sano took off a few paces anyway.

"Alright, I'm sorry, man," said Sano from behind the shield of a hapless bush. "I was just kidding."

Kenshin replied with a ferocious glare. "Don't ever say anything like that again."

"Jeeze. Fine. Whatever." Sano jumped over the bush. "Temper, temper. Relax, bub. Everything will be fine. And stop looking like you're going to your execution! Sheesh, man…."

And so, they resumed their trek. When they finally reached the dojo's door, Sano paused to give last minute instructions.

"The carriage will be here to pick you up at seven and drive you guys to the restaurant. The owner's a family friend of Tae's and she already made reservations. Anyway, after supper… well, you know what to do. Proceed with the rest of the plan. Got that?"

Kenshin swallowed hard. "I don't think I can go through with this."

"Yes, you can." Sano gave him an encouraging whack in the rib cage not minding the other's disposition to fainting at that moment. "Gambatte!"

Kami-sama, preserve me!

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So what will happen now?

Will Sanosuke's neighbors have him evicted for all the noise and chaos they made?

Will Kaoru find the rurouni's new look hot and sexy or would she hate it? O.O

Will Kenshin survive a massive cardiac arrest just in case his heart fails to keep up with all the worries plaguing him?

Will Enishi manage to keep his sanity and do away with the urge to slice and dice people especially since he has the sakabatou?

Has Sanosuke gone totally crackers that he gave the lunatic of Shanghai Kenshin's sole weapon?

Will Melpomene be able to type the next chapter before falling asleep even though it's only 8 in the evening?

Find out!

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Disappointed? Enraged? Furious? Feel free to tell me what's on your mind! :dons full armor of a medieval knight and cowers behind a shield: I'm ready! Again, I request your honesty and openness. ^_^

Oh, right. The "speech" Sano prepared is taken from a compilation of text messages in cell phones. There are actually three books and I just pieced together various quotes, messages and jokes.

As for Kenshin's get-up…… I don't have a single fashionable bone in my body. What do you people think? Any suggestions?