Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Ranma Crown Prince of Jurai ❯ The Unedited Story ( Chapter -1 )

Ten-year-old Ranma chased after his father after another brief respite at a shrine. Where the two were headed, Ranma didn't know, but it was dark tonight.

“Where we headin', Pops?” The young boy yelled ahead of him.

Genma was feeling pretty good right now. He had managed to acquire a means to rid the world of the menace known as Hap- er… the master. Granted it was his son that did the actual work, but what else were heirs for, if not to do the dirty work?

Vaguely, Genma could hear the questioning of his son. Craning his neck to peer over his shoulder, he hollered back, “Quiet Boy! We're on a training mission, remember?” Genma mentally patted himself on the back. It wasn't everyday he came up with a quick, but intelligent remark. Felling like he was on a roll he let his mouth do the talking for him. “For the next three days, we're gonna be jogging towards Tokyo!”

Not for the first time, Ranma questioned the wisdom of his father's ideas of training. But, seeing as he had no idea how else training was supposed to be, he went along with not a peep.

As the duo ran, Ranma reflected on just how he retrieved the sword strapped to his back…

 

(Flashback)

 

Ranma snapped the heavy lock covering the gate leading to the mouth of the cave. Heh. That was easy. You'd think they would want a sturdy lock or somethin'? Ranma mused.

Of course, explaining to a ten year old boy, `You're stronger than most adult men” can be a bit disconcerting, so Genma stuck with his you're as weak as a girl routine. *No sense in letting the boy's head swell*

As the boy ventured through the cavern, he thought back to what his father told him. “Within this cave lies the a sword of legend. One of our ancestors, by the name of Yosho, was given this sword by the Kami to slay a demon feared even by the Kami. After a battle for several years, Yosho won and sealed the blade in that very cave.

It's said that he placed it there for his mightiest descendant to withdraw it. If, and if, you can pull the sword out you will be destined to become the greatest martial artist in the world!”

“World's Greatest Martial Artist!” Ranma crowed, laughing like a maniac. As soon as I get this sword, Pops can never call me a girl again! With that thought, he approached what looked like a shrine, housing a sword.

Ranma absently pulled away the ward sign placed over the front of the shrine. With a smirk and a heart filled with joy, he extracted the sword. Just as fast as he became merry the joy turned sour and he gave a low growl.

“This sword's a piece of JUNK!” he shouted into the tunnel of the blackened cave. With a shrug, he walked out of the cave and replaced the lock, as if it was never broken, then departed.

 

(End Flashback)

 

-_-_-_-_-_-

 

Outside of Tokyo A Week Later…

 

Ranma looked down at the sword from the shrine of his ancestor, Yosho. After their three day run, Genma had led Ranma to a smithy where they learned the combat style of Blacksmithing.

“Are you just gonna look at that sword all day, or are you gonna train like a man?” Genma groused. If only the boy would hurry up and learn how to use that sword, they could kill the Master and then sell the sword. Maybe I can get a sack of rice and a couple loaves of bread for it? Genma pondered. After all, once the Master was gone, there wasn't much more use for the sword.

Genma watched as his son performed all the kata he taught the boy, slightly modified to allow space for the swords longer reach. “Any girl half your age could do better than that!” Genma prodded. Inwardly, Genma was proud of his boy, but if started praising his son too soon then Ranma would reach his peak and wouldn't be able to overcome.

Ranma grit his teeth and increased his tempo. The sword flashed with dazzling, bright silver light in the high-noon Sun. Moving with all the grace of a gazelle and power of a typhoon, Ranma created a few more modifications, ripping the blade through the air and high speeds.

Genma withheld a gasp as the steel blade began to glow blue. “Masaka…” Could those legends about my ancestor be true? Genma gave a shrug and filed it away for a later time, but not, he more important things to do. “Ranma!”

Stopping his movement instantly, Ranma looked at his father, expectantly. “What Pops?”

“Just a moment ago, were you channeling Ki into your blade?”

Ranma rubbed the back of his head, and fidgeted nervously. “I couldn't get the sword to counter-balance right, so I used my Ki instead.”

Rather than ranting about his son being too weak to wield a sword properly (Which was Ranma's cause of unease), Genma stroked his chin stubble. So the boy's learned to focus his ki into a weapon already? Genma pondered with pride in his heart. “Let's go into town and get something to eat. After that, we'll be leaving for the mountains.”

 

-_-_-_-_-_-

 

Six Months Later On A Mountain…

 

Genma watched as his son, Ranma, proved mastery of the last technique within his sealed Yamasenken Techniques.

“To bestow upon a child, so young, the horror of such techniques is ludicrous.” Genma said to himself as Ranma began shadow boxing with the Umisenken Techniques. While it had taken an additional two months for Ranma to learn these move sets, the death of the Master was paramount to finishing the training trip early.

“Ranma I believe you are now ready to dispatch your first demon.” As much as Genma hated the idea of sending his son to fight a demon at the tender age of ten, there was no way he would allow his son face the Master without devil slaying experience. (Of course, Genma could have taken Ranma to a Devil Hunter for training, or any number of more intelligent things… But, hey, we're talking about Genma “I-sold-my-son-for-a-barrel-of-instant-ramen” Saotome)

Ranma looked to his father with finality in his eyes. He knew this day was coming, since his Pops began training him in The Forbidden Techniques two months ago.

 

(Flashback)

 

“Son,” Genma said as he and Ranma sparred with bokken in one hand and ninchaku in the other, “Starting today, I will be teaching you my ultimate techniques. Techniques so powerful, Oni run screaming for safety and makes ghost cry behind trees. As soon as I finish with your training you must test yourself against a lower demon. If you win, you will be my successor in the Art, but if you lose, the demon will kill you.”

Ranma nodded and snaked a ninchaku into Genma's ankle, catching him off-guard. He quickly followed up with a thrust into Genma's Solar Plexus, sending the big man to his rump.

Genma flashed his ninchaku at Ranma and sprung back up. “Don't fail now, Boy.”

 

(End Of Flashback)

 

“Today you begin your first step in becoming a man.” Genma proclaimed, patting Ranma on the back and guiding him towards the closest source of malevolent energy.

For the first time since the Cat-Fist Training, Ranma felt a case of true kill intent. Steeling his nerves and the anxiety tying his stomach in knots, he cast a look to his father. “Are you going to watch my fight?”

Looking down into those twin pools of innocence, Genma felt a small pang of guilt. With practiced ease, Genma beat it down and stomped it to death. “If I come in with you, then your opponent will think it has two foes, which means your victory won't count.” There was no way he was going to tell Ranma the evil intent given off was scaring his spitless.

Ranma, being the young naive boy he was, took the answer at face value and trudged deeper in the forest. “PREPARE YOURSELF DEMON!” Ranma shouted with the force a hurricane, “SAOTOME RANMA DON'T LOSE AND I AIN'T GONNA RUN AWAY!”

“COME THEN, BOY, AT YOUR OWN PERIL” A voice as deep as thunder and firm as stone, replied, causing Genma to go ashen white and Ranma to scowl

Genma and Ranma shared a glance between one another. Both were visibly shaken at actually receiving a response from a demon.

Genma decided to hightail it while the going was good. With a firm pat on the back Genma sent a parting word of advice. “Don't die, Boy.”

 

All around him shadows danced, and forest creatures seemed to laugh at the marching boy with a sword strapped to his back. “HAW! HAW!” “LEAVE HUMAN!” FOOLISH CHILD, WE”RE TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!”

Flecks of light broke through the tree line, cause beams of blinding light to slap Ranma in the face. A sound of rustling leaves occasionally caught Ranma's attention. The branches of trees tried to cut into his skin, while vines tried to choke the life from him.

With a flash of blue and silver, Ranma's sword strike combining with a Kijin Raishu Dan parted the forest roof and created a gouge extending ten meters before him. Exposed at the other end was a very shocked giant boar.

“I don't hear you laughing now, demon!” Ranma taunted the giant boar, which was still in shock. Ranma noted a steady flow of black ichor escaping a boiling would on its hind leg. Feeding off the ability to inflict a wound on a demon, Ranma charged headlong and tried for a clean cut at the neck.

The closer Ranma got, the large he realized the demon actually was. By the time reached it, the boar towered over him at twelve feet in shoulder height, equipped with twin tusk, rivaling an elephants and weighing in the tons. Despite the monumental size, Ranma was not deterred and brought his sword halfway through the demon-boar's neck before it reacted.

Fast like a whip, the boar leapt up and to the side, preventing what would have been a fatal blow.

Ranma watched as time seemed to reverse and the boar's neck and leg healed as if never previously injured. “Grr… You cheater! I had you and you know it!”

With a laugh that shook the trees, Boar spoke in a menacingly low voice. “THERE ARE NO RULES WHEN IT COMES TO FIGHTING, BOY! EITHER YOU LIVE OR YOU DIE. AND I CHOOSE TO LIVE!” Even as it completed its speech it was retreating into the thicket of the forest, as if daring the human whelp to follow.

Looking back on his decision, Ranma would come to realize just how foolish it was to enter a demon's domain. Be that as it may, he chased the demon, heedless of the dangers.

 

Genma sat in a meditative trance, allowing his ki-senses to sweep the forest. Despite being a coward, Genma was a talented martial artist. So he sat there, trying to watch the battle by feeling the emotional aura (his son) and the malevolent aura (the demon).

It came as a great surprise when he felt a ki vacuum-blade rip a hole in the forest vegetation. Despite that, he was remaining focused and searching for any openings available. The moment he felt the boy's aura die was the moment he began packing to flee any vengeful forest spirits.

As he sat there, he kept getting the feeling there was something breathing down his neck. Kami, he hated the things kill intent did with senses. “Hope the boys alright…”

Genma trailed off as he sensed a second kill intent sitting in the exact place his son had been walking only a moment ago. “Uh, oh…”

 

Once again ensconced in the shadows of the forest, Ranma was not liking his chances. “Kuso!” he cursed, spitting on the ground, which reverberated infinitesimally throughout the empty forest. “When I find ya, I'm gonna load ya on a spit and barbecue you alive!”

The slightest hint of a rustle from behind was all the warning Ranma got to duck then roll. As he gained his feet, Ranma watched as the boar seemed to `flow' into a tree trunk like a diver to water.

I have to calm down! That kill intent is screwing with my battle senses, Ranma assessed. As the thought passed through his head, he got a clever idea. “I bet I can beat you blindfolded, you bloated pig!” he taunted, earning a deep-throated growl.

Ranma smirked and removed the belt and jacket of his gi. Placing the jacket on the ground and looping the belt about his head, covering his eyes. When there was no more belt length, he tucked the end within the binding. Good, he thought, already feeling a difference in his surroundings. The forest light kept throwing me off.

Ranma threw his head back and dodged a tusk swipe aimed at his throat by less than a millimeter. “I almost feel sorry for you, Piggy,” Ranma taunted as he nimbly evaded several hoof and tusk strikes. “Not only do you have be killed by a ten year old, but your gonna be my lunch for the next few days too!”

Pigg- er, I mean, the giant boar didn't like Ranma's little barbs, and decided to show his displeasure by upping his attack speed. WHAT MANNER OF DEMON ID THIS KID? SURELY NO HUMANCHILD CAN PRESS ME SO HARD! The boar mentally shouted. Just as the boar decided to pull out all the stops and use as many cheap shots as possible, it felt a sharp pain in its neck.

Ranma, while dodging, noted the introspective look of the boar and decided to end the fight before it retreated to the forest again. Without a cry of `Kijin Raishu Dan', Ranma threw a vacuum blade as the boar's head was returning from a tusk swing. With a stomach of iron, Ranma watched disgustedly as its head went rocketing away from its collapsed body.

As the severed head lay dying, it spoke to the human child that bested it. “TELL ME YOUR NAME, HUMAN, THAT YOU WOULD SLAY A DEMON IN YOUR INFANCY!”

“The name's Ranma, Saotome Ranma.” The boy boasted, puffing his chest up.

“Ranma… Such a strong name for a great warrior...” The boar's formerly tremendous voice ebbed away, like smoke in the wind. “I have a last request to for you, Ranma…”

Ranma leaned forward to listen to the dying words of the boar.

 

Genma watched with a mix of awe and joy as his ten-year-old son dragged the dead carcass of a giant boar from the forest lining. For the last several minutes Genma had felt the two kill intents reach an apex, until one winked out. Unfamiliar with aura sensing as he was, Genma didn't know which of the two forest demons had won.

There was no greater fear for him than the loss of his son (mostly, he didn't want to return to Nodoka without their son) by a two on one demon attack. No amount of training the boy had learned could prepare him for multiple-demon fighting.

So when he watched his son emerge from the forest, dragging a dead demon, emitting a slowly decreasing kill intent, Genma was understandably elated. “RANMA, MY BOY! YOU DID IT!”

Ranma gave a proud smile and tossed the demon's head into the air. Displaying the head by its tusk, the spoke in no uncertain tones. “I'm the only one who gets to eat its head and heart, Pops.” With that, Ranma dragged the carcass to an area where he could make a campfire.

Genma blinked, then shrugged. Who was he to stop the boy from eating the only two body parts Genma would never want to eat.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-

 

Tendo Dojo Five And A Half Years Later…

 

Genma looked up from his prostrated position on the ground, not daring to look his old friend in the eyes. “Oh such a horrible tragedy would befall a warrior with no peers!” Genma wailed.

Soun, always ready for a good cry, joined in with his friend from times of youth. “Oh Saotome-kun, how could something so horrible have happened?” Soun Wailed between tears and pounding his fist on the table.

The Tendo daughters looked on blankly, occasionally remembering to blink-blink.

Finally Kasumi spoke up. “But father, he hasn't even said what happened to his son yet.” Perhaps father does cry far too easily, Kasumi mused.

Nabiki's ever crafty mind had already picked up on the five items Genma had swiped and pocketed away. Something's fishy here… Nabiki mused, removing the stolen items, as she pretended to pat Genma's back. And I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

Akane was confused, but since she couldn't make heads or tails of the situation, she got angry and shouted, “Where is your pervert of a son, Mr. Saotome?” Nothing like pervert bashing to clear the mind, Akane reflected with a strangely content smile on her face.

Nabiki picked up Genma's nervous fidgeting at the word pervert, but chose not to comment on it. Oh, I'm so gonna grill this man!

Genma's tears dried up as if they were never there. “Well, you see, Tendo-kun, its like this…”

 

(Flashback)

 

Genma and a fifteen-year-old Ranma are standing atop bamboo chutes and sparring over the pools of Jusenkyo.

“Oh wow, Pops! You're the greatest martial artist in the world, and one day I wanna be just like you!” Ranma pronounced with the utmost adoration in his eyes.

Dodging a kick and sending a fast punch, Genma was flung into a pool. As he leapt back onto a chute, he noted the startled yelp of his `loving' son. “What's wrong my boy?” Genma asks with a voice full of concern.

Ranma was so startled that he fell down toward a pool. An instant before breaking the surface of the water a bolt of lightning descends and strikes Ranma. When Genma can see again, he noted the pool had no one in it.

Of to the side a certain guide is shouting his head off, being completely ignored.

 

(End of Flashback)

 

“Since that day, I have been trekking back here to give the bad news.” Genma finished with a tear welling in the corner of one eye.

Nabiki almost gagged at the incredulity of Genma's obviously fabricated story. “And I suppose you have proof of this mishap?” Let's see you weasel your way out of this one.

And weasel he did… With a splash of cold water, Genma became a panda. He began to growl and snarl, still not getting pandas can't speak.

A kettle of hot water returned Genma to normal. Though that's not what attracted everyone's gaze to the one who poured it. “Tell me another one, ol' man.” The new comer requested with a voice more scathing than burning coal.

Genma went white as a sheet and slowly turned to face the young man behind him. In voice just higher than a squeak, Genma got out “Ranma...” just before he was sent flying into the distance.

“Stupid panda man…” Ranma trailed off into a tirade of words capable of making a sailor blush. Ranma took the seat his father recently vacated and turned to face the three blushing sisters.

The silence was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Then Ranma was no longer there.

It took a moment before kasumi and Nabiki realized what the pressure on their breasts were but when they did, they weren't complaining.

With a cry of “PERVERT!” Akane came at the new arrival with a haymaker. Faster than ever before, Akane swung.

But Ranma wasn't there. He was at the other side of the table… fondling and cooing to a brassiere, “Such quality and perfect seam lines.”

When Akane felt a cold draft she realized just whose bra it was. “Gimme back my bra!” she demanded, stamping her foot petulantly. When Ranma didn't acknowledge her Akane tried to smash him with a table.

With one finger Ranma reverse the kinetic energy in the table and it went flying out the room through the open shogi doors. Ranma looked up at Akane with large pleading puppy dog eyes. Sniffling, he asked her, “Can't a young boy have his fun before he's forced to become a man?”

Kasumi and Nabiki hid their giggles behind hands. Akane was livid. With her first-ever visible aura, she charged headlong at Ranma. A moment before she could touch him, she watched her life pass before her eyes and witnessed herself die in one of the most gruesome of ways she'd ever seen by Ranma's hand. With no strength to support her body, Akane collapsed to her rump and stared blankly and a mischief-eyed Ranma.

Soun was startled out of his crying spell over this or that, by a tremendous burst of tightly focused kill intent. It took him a while to react, but react he did. Going full force Demon-head, he spied all persons within and around the house.

What he got as a result was a bonk on the head by a shriveled little gnome. “Soun, you old fool, you almost gave me a heart attack aiming that Demon-head at me!”

Pale-faced and short on breath, Soun said the word he never thought he would utter again, “M-Master…” and promptly fainted.

“You weren't kidding when you said they were delicate little pansies.” Ranma commented between guffaws.

 

Later that evening found the Tendo daughters, Soun, Genma, Happosai and Ranma seated around the Tendo dining table. The latter two were puffing on pipes sitting Indian style, rather than traditional Japanese sitting positions. Whether or not they were actually smoking, as puffs only ascended at certain times in a stark contrast to their breathing.

“Genma, Soun!” Happosai shouted as his two worthless students, who cringed, trying to hide in the crevices of the floorboards. “As of yesterday, I have named Ranma Grandmaster of Anything Goes.”

As Ranma looked over the group of assembled persons, he paused to glare at panda playing with a tire in the back yard. Narrowing his eyes, he waited for his father to retake his seat at the table.

Genma leaned forward, noting something off about his son. It took a few moments but he finally placed it and pointed a paw him. “Bur-burbur mrruff- almost twenty-five!” he concluded, half panda and finishing in human as Ranma doused his father with hot water again.

Ranma stared at his father as if the old man were an idiot. “It took you this long to realize I look twenty-five? Considering the last time you saw me I was a kid at the tender age of ten, and that was only six years ago!” The last Ranma growled out with a visibly shaking fist. Cool his temper, Ranma smirked at the former Grandmaster and then turned back to the other two. “That's one of the reasons we stopped by here. I happened across a meadow of mushrooms about five years ago and grabbed the largest one I saw. That one was about 20 cm long. After I ate it, I discovered its called an Aging Mushroom. I decided to remain as I was until we finished my training.

Now that my training's over, I'd like to introduce you all to my brand new baby son, HAPPY!” Ranma announced with a flourish and Happosai gave his best impersonation of an innocent fledgling.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-

 

A sixteen-year-old Ranma and roughly three-hundred-year-old Happy were enjoying a nice relaxing soak in the furo. “This furo's nice, but I'd rather be at a bathing house.” Ranma commented.

Happosai's eyes went uber-kawaii and he clasped his hands together under his shriveled chin. “You do understand an old man's heart!”

With twin lecherous smirks they exited the tub, dressed and left to find a bathhouse, with lots of beautiful women in it.

As they approached a particular bathhouse, a dressed like a young boy dropped to the ground in front of them. Brandishing a giant spatula she charged at the two.

Twin cries of “HUBBA, HUBBA!” rang from the two.

The girl froze in her tracks, and was about accuse her ex-fiancé for flirting with other women in front of her, when she realized he was looking straight at her.

Faster than grease lightning, Ranma sidled up next to her and draped an arm around her shoulders. “Hey Sexy, how about we go to the co-ed section of this bathhouse together?” Ranma offered.

Ukyo blushed crimson, and retracted into herself, not wanting to take the chance of being hurt. Again. “But Ranchan, I can't… I'd be too embarrassed.”

Ranma blinked at the use of a pet name he hadn't heard in many years. Ucchan was a girl all this time? Ranma figured. Shrugging, as that didn't change the fact she was obviously female in the present, Ranma went on to coaxing her. “If a guy can't take a bath with his cute fiancée, what is this world coming to?” After the many flings with fiancées his father had sold him for, Ranma hazarded a guess, which proved to be true.

He called me cute? Ukyo tried to puzzle out, but was rapidly melting into his embrace. As she leaned in to his chest, she felt something stroking her breast. Looking down, she noted Ranma's hand caressing one, while his other held her chest binding. “How…?” The question died even as she was asking. The ways his hand molded her chest was beyond anything she had ever felt before. Purring in content, she let Ranma lead them to whereever the hell the wanted. She really didn't care at this point.

 

Ranma and a haggard looking Ukyo, with a contented smile, emerged from a couples' room. Ranma gave a smile to a few passing women, making them go weak in the knees. Chuckling lightly to himself, Ranma wrapped his arm around Ukyo's waist and whispered into her ear. “If you take me home, I'll make what we did in there seem like nothing in comparison.” It was true; he and Ukyo had on gone as far as cunnilingus before their time ran out. Granted, two hours of heavy petting and orgasms, can wear any girl out.

Ukyo yawned and stretched her arms to the sky as they exited the bathhouse. “I'm sorry, Ranchan, I can't. I have to get to school tomorrow early morning for transfer papers and the works.” Ukyo was really starting to feel school was a heel, but she needed the education to get into a good college, and then expand her restaurant into a chain business across Japan. What is one night of sex, even mind-blowing-super-orgasmic-sex, compared to a life-long dream?

Ranma shrugged, his smile not faltering. “Maybe I can get a rain-check?”

“Mmm… I'd like that,” Ukyo said into his lips as he kissed her with unrivaled passion.

“Maybe I'll start going to school with you, if you tell me which one you're going to.”

Ukyo spoke softly while she gasped for air. “Furin(pant)kan (gasp, pant) High.”

Ranma gave a large grin. “Lucky me, I'm staying right down the street from there. I guess I'll take the placement test tomorrow afternoon.” With that, Ranma leapt to a rooftop and disappeared into the night.

 

<A night with Nabiki>

 

<A day with Kasumi>

-_-_-_-_-_-

 

Two Days Later…

 

Ranma walked to school with Nabiki under one arm. “So tell me, Nabiki-chan, what does a smart and beautiful girl like you need to go to high school for, when I know you could test out?”

Nabiki shrugged, “I sure don't need to. Truth be told, I've already finished all the assignments until graduation, and I'm starting college credit work for Tokyo University when I graduate.”

Ranma whistled appreciatively. Nabiki was surprised when she felt a light kiss on the forehead. “I knew you were a smart cookie, I just didn't know you cared so much about your family.”

Nabiki turned away to hide her blush, but it was readily apparent to all other onlookers. “You can't act all mushy with me in public Ranma. You'll ruin my reputation as the Ice Queen on Furinkan.” Nabiki informed.

Ranma blinked. “'Ice Queen'? Now why would you want to look like her?”

Nabiki turned a curious look in Ranma's direction. “Like who?”

“Yuki-Onna, the ice queen.” Ranma explained.

Nabiki blinked a couple times, then burst into a fit of giggles. “That's a good one, Saotome.”

Ranma shrugged and turned to look at the Nabiki with mischief in his eyes. “You know, I use to court her? She was a real screamer, that one.” Ranma paused to reflect. “A lot like you actually.”

Nabiki blushed beet red straight down to her toes. “Saotome…” she growled as a warning, extricating herself from his arm as they were only a block from the school.

Ranma wriggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Guess I'll see you after school.” With that, the two went their separate ways. Nabiki went to join her close friends and discuss business for the day, while Ranma chose to sit atop the wall watching as students entered the school.

 

Ranma didn't have to wait long, as Hurricane Akane blew in with a roar of “I HATE BOYS!” Ranma watched impassively as a swarm of male suitors oozing testosterone and radiating auras of sexual perversion charged at the girl.

Even as she pummeled and beat every male into unconsciousness, Ranma remained at his perch, enjoying the view. Once Akane finished her daily massacre of schoolboys, Ranma called out to her. “What do you want, Pervert?” Akane growled.

Ranma gave a lecherous leer. “I've got what I want.” Ranma said flippantly, as he twirled a green pair of panties, with a cute bears face on the front, over his finger.

Akane immediately realized just whose panties they were, but couldn't figure out just how Ranma got them. Coloring red (whether from anger or embarrassment, I don't know), Akane charged the wall and snatched her undergarments back and quickly slid them on. “PERVERT!” Akane cried trying to uppercut him into the stratosphere. Akane only succeeded in striking the air where he once laid.

“Hey, Akane-Chan, you missed this guy over here,” Ranma informed, kicking Kuno's unconscious form, “So I got him for you.”

Akane glowered, but her anger was curbed when the tardy bell rang. “RRAARRRR!” Akane barked, to release the remainder of her steam.

 

Ranma was bored out of his mind. The worst part of the day was it was only lunch time. “I still have half the day ahead of me.” Ranma commented for the benefit of the three girls spying on him from the stairwell. Said girls believed they were still hidden until Ranma said, “Are any of you three interested in some casual sex on a rooftop?”

That said, the three looked at each other, and decided to return when the other two went around.

Ranma shrugged and lay back, to sleep.

 

Ranma woke with a start. Taking quick stock of his surroundings, Ranma realized several key factors; it was now night out and he missed his afternoon classes (but, that wasn't really anything important to him anyway), something was stalking him (again not that important, but worth noting for later on), he hadn't been introduced to any drugs or other chemicals (that was a major issue, especially after his night with that Kuno girl last summer) and most note worthy, a malevolent aura was cloaking itself.

Ranma smirked. Two can play at that game, so saying, Ranma melted into his own shadow and emerged a short distance away. “If I wanted, I could have taken your head. So why don't we stop playing games?”

Ranma heard the sound of a bell from behind and quickly spun to face a small kitten. Unconsciously, Ranma shivered. It was but a brief relapse. It was more of a condition reflex, than the fear of his youth.

Ranma knelt and extended his arms to catch the kitten. Just before it landed in his arms, it faded from existence. “Cute trick,” Ranma remarked over his shoulder. Turning about to face a smirking cyan-haired woman seated on a generator. “Tell me how you like mine?” Covering every square inch of the roof were doppelgangers of the previous black cat with a bell. As one they turned to face the girl and mewed cutely.

Ryoko continued to smile, but inside she was seriously shaken. Not only had he reacted to her presence, he realized her phantom wasn't real and even duplicated the technique to a level she could only achieve with the assistance of all three of her gems. But the most terrifying thing about it, he wasn't using her gems as a power source.

“I don't know who you are, but if you're looking for a romp in the sack, you've come to right guy.” Ranma wriggled his brows suggestively and blew Chi-kisses at her.

Ryoko blinked then batted away the Chi constructs. “I don't want your kisses, I want your balls!” After a moment of companionable silence, she blushed and corrected herself. ”I mean the gems on your sword!” she said hastily.

Ranma spent a few minutes looking about in confusion. “I don't see any swords around here. Do you?” Ranma asked with a truly puzzled expression. He pulled a smoking pipe from… somewhere and began to take puffs while stroking his chin. “Nope, can't say I've had a sword, but then again, I've done a lot in my life.”

Ryoko growled and aimed an open palm towards Ranma. Seemingly from nowhere, motes of red light coalesced and gathered at the palm of her hand before launching at Ranma.

Ryoko gave a large grin, seeing how she had managed to kill her greatest personal threat by distracting him with a simple energy build up.

When the dust settled her self-appreciating smile waned. There was lots of rubble, but no body or body parts. The sound of impressed whistling caught her attention and she quickly looked up, to see Ranma hovering and observing the amount of damage caused.

“Wow, that's a lot of damage from one blast!” Ranma said in awe, her jaw ajar.

Ryoko hovered up to him and coalesced a blade of the same red light substance. Ranma narrowed his eyes as he dodged her attacks. Despite all the training he's undergone, he still could not sense whatever energy it was the cyan-haired wraith was using.

Ryoko, seeing Ranma concentrating on what she assumed was dodging, as he continuously slipped through her techniques, decided to push her `advantage' by using eye lasers.

It came as a great surprise to Ryoko when her foe matched her eye lasers and produced a sword of his own. However the difference between the two was easily notable. Where Ryoko's was red light, Ranma's was a katana. If one were to look they would swear he was holding the air and repelling her attacks.

As Ranma continued his defense patterns, he thought back to how he acquired the use of such a beautiful Zanpakuto…

 

(Flashback)

 

Twenty-year-old Ranma (remember her ate the mushroom when he was eleven) watched as Happosai went through all his personal belongings, seeking out a scroll for his `ultimate technique'. Well, one of them anyway. Seeing as Ranma had already to use twelve different `ultimate techniques' of The Founding School of Anything Goes, it's understandable that he would be skeptical of this new technique.

Something Happosai tossed from his gi top caught Ranma's attention. Running over and catching it, before it could fall and shatter, Ranma looked at the obviously enchanted artifact. “Hey Master!” Ranma called out to Happosai. “What's in this Jar?”

Happosai looked up and shrugged. “Something I picked up in the 1800's. You can have it if you it.” With that, Happosai began digging in his subspace folds again.

As Ranma was heading to a tree stump to rest, he slipped on moss and crushed his jar. The area was bathed in smoke and a loud echoing “BOOM!” The two men were greeted by a samurai girl, dressed in all black hakama.

The shocker was the fact it was a young looking female.

A duel shout of “HOTCHA!” was the only warning the Shinigame received before seeing two men lunge at her.

 

(End Flashback)

 

Ranma leapt backwards and ran his finger along the length of the blade. At the end he called out “Flare, Shin Long!” Right after the words were uttered, the blade became a serpentine dragon, only as long as the original blade was.

Ryoko snorted in contempt. “You think a little snake is going to hurt me?” Even as she charged the dragon extended, seeking to devour her.

Before the `sword' could swallow her, Ryoko reversed course and sent several blasts into the creature's mouth. The dragon writhed in agony and Ranma dispelled his partner, returning it to a subspace pocket. “You actually hurt Sin Long,” Ranma said with undisguised interest. “Let's see how fast you are. This next move is called Flash Step, if you counter it I'll give you my balls.” Ranma said with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

Faster than Ryoko's scanners could track, Ranma was behind her and groping her breasts. When she tried to forcefully remove his offending appendage, she found that her body refused to move. “What did you do to me?” Ryoko demanded, not bothering to mention his groping lest he stop his ministrations.

Choosing to ignore the question Ranma asked, “So why do you want my `balls' anyway?” After a brief pause he added with a teasing voice, “Other than the obvious.”

Ryoko, already at the man's mercy, decided to play along. “And what would the obvious be?”

“Why, because they're pretty of course!” Ranma taunted, letting one hand slide down her stomach, coming ever nearer her core. When he heard her take a sharp intake of air, he released his hold on her.

The moment Ranma released her Ryoko felt a pang of longing. Slowly, she turned around to face him up close. He's really cute, Ryoko noted, barely realizing she had regained motor function.

Ranma gave a lecherous grin and dangled her skintight suit between a couple fingers. “You've got such a nice figure,” Ranma complimented, pointing with his other hand at her bare, naked body.

Further games were interrupted by the arrival of a giant wooden ship. “SURRENDER NOW, SPACE PIRATE, RYOKO!” a female voice yelled.

And quite a young one at that, Ranma noted.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-

 

Ranma awoke to find himself within a cell. At least it vaguely resembled one. “Now how did I end up in here?” Ranma asked the thick vines obstructing his way. He reached forward to touch the wood and test its density, but was struck by a bolt electricity. YOW!” his voice echoed throughout the area.

Sucking on his thumb, Ranma created a Chi-sword and sliced the vines surrounding him. “Man am I glad we used that Nanban Mirror… even if was by accident.” Ranma finished with a sweat drop on the back of his head.

 

(Flashback)

 

Twenty-five-year-old Ranma snatched a lacy pair of panties from a clothesline, and beat a hasty trail. A quarter of a second later, Happosai's little hands passed through the empty space. Seeing as his heir was grabbing more than he could get his little hands on, Happosai threw a random object at Ranma.

Ranma dodged and the object struck the third member of their little party. Namely, the Shinigame: Ryusei Hyuuga. Hyuuga looked down into the mirror shedding a few drops of tears.

Happosai and Ranma ceased their game of panty-tag and landed right in front of Hyuuga. “Are you alright? If Happy hurt you, so help me I'll…” Ranma trailed off, allowing Happosai to imagine his own punishment.

Hyuuga sniffled, her bangs covering her eyes and whispered quietly, “I wish I was back in my own time… back with all my friends.” Even as she finished the wish, the three were gathered in a ball of brilliant white light.

 

(End Flashback)

 

The sound of giggling drew Ranma from his reverie. Looking to the side he spied a young blue-haired girl with adorable pink eyes. Ranma sat, cross-legged, and smiled at the girl. “Hey, I'm Ranma. What's your name?”

Eyeing Ranma like a playing kitten, Sasami marched over and seated herself next to him. “Hi,” the girl crowed, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “I'm Sasami. Do you wanna play?” Sasami turned to pet her little furry snake-creature, coiled around her neck like a scarf.

Ranma gave the girl a broad smile. “Sure, I'd love to play! What game do you have in mind?”

Sasami pretended to think for a long moment. “Oooh, I know! How about I give you a dare and you do it?”

Ranma shrugged, “Sounds good to me. What do you have in mind?”

With a thousand-watt smile, Sasami chirped, “Follow me!”

 

“Tell me where my brother is, you low-born harridan!” Ayeka commanded.

Said harridan was a cyan haired ex-space pirate, currently bound upside-down and being shocked with enough electricity to power Tokyo for a year. “Ah…! Ah…! OH, YEAH!!!!” Ryoko crowed as the power flowed through her, creating extreme orgasm after another.

Crimson-faced, Ayeka dispelled the electrical currents. “Y-you… sadist!” the Juraian princess accused, pointing a finger at her bound foe.

One of Ayeka's guardian logs made an idle comment of, “I believe you mean masochist, Princess Ayeka.”

Ryoko was left gasping after the enduring a full hour of orgasmic torture (delight?). “You can't keep stopping like this, Princess. I've got seven-hundred years to make up for- AHHHH!” her taunting was cut short as Ayeka plunged a wooden rod into her thigh, drawing out a scream of pain.

“Enough of your games, Ryoko! Tell me where my brother is!”

“Brothel?” Ryoko asked between clenched teeth.

Ayeka gave a sinister smile. “Okay, we'll play this your way, you pain-freak,” Ayeka whispered into Ryoko's ear.

“Princes Ayeka, it time for bed. You may continue your tortures in the morning.” Azaka commanded.

Growling like a commoner, Ayeka withdrew her rod and stormed off to her sleeping quarters. Stupid Guardians, I can't even stay up a little past my bedtime to torture my prisoner.

 

Sasami watched in awe as Ranma downed another twenty plates without seeming to move. “Amazing!” Sasami cheered, clapping her hands merrily.

Ranma stroked the back of his head. “I picked up that style while in France awhile back. Chardin Style Martial Arts Dining!” Ranma announced giving a dramatic pose for each word, finishing by blowing Sasami a kiss, while a storm of roses swirled behind him.

Sasami clapped her hands again. “Ranma-nii-chan, you're the greatest!”

Ranma gave Sasami several bows. “Now that we're both full, what is the dare you have for me?”

Sasami tapped a finger to her chin thoughtfully. Oh yeah! I can't believe I forgot.” Sasami exclaimed. She grabbed Ranma's hand and began pulling him along with her. “Hurry, hurry!”

After a few minutes of being dragged, Sasami and Ranma crested a hill overlooking an ornate wooden house. “Hey Sasami, what's the deal with all the wood around here?”

Ignoring the question, Sasami pointed at the house excitedly. “There it IS!”

Ranma gazed in the direction she indicated. “So, I'm supposed to sneak in and snatch her head ornament?”

“Nnh,” she noised, nodding her head for emphasis.

With a shrug, Ranma headed down the slope and into the bedchambers of Ayeka.

 

Ranma spotted his prey immediately, and with a cry “YOWZA!” pounced on Ayeka. Something about the sleeping form of Ayeka caused Ranma to behave like a hormone-crazed teenager. A few quick pets here, a couple kisses there…

 

Ayeka was having the most vivid dream. Normally, she would dream about the day her brother Yosho left her in the gardens, but tonight she was dreaming she had found her brother.

While normally that would constitute a good thing, in this dream, he had spent so many years among barbarians, he became one.

It started that she was walking down a field of purple roses, when she heard her brother yell “YOWZA!” When she turned to face him, he was coming down to land on her, knocking her to the ground.

She gazed longingly into his eyes, and placed a hand to his cheek. “Oh dear brother Yosho. I've journeyed these long centuries to find you. And now we'll finally be together.” As she leaned forward to kiss him, she felt a jolt of electricity from her nether parts. Stifling a gasp, she looked into Yosho's eyes and saw a crazed look to them “Brother-dear, wh-“ whatever she was going to say was cut off, by a searing kiss, crushing her lips to his.

Ayeka's mind was aflutter, she couldn't think, and every time she tried to move, Yosho's expert hands would move to another area drawing another gasp or he would silence her with a kiss.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she noted that she had never experienced any of these sensations before, as she preserved herself for her marriage to Yosho. But, with all the sensations in her body and the fogginess of dreamscape, there was no realization.

Yosho ripped her elegant robes from her soft and milky skin, exposing her nakedness to his view. Ayeka blushed a light shade of pink, placing a curled hand in front her mouth in a show of meekness.

Yosho grinned and brought his hand down to her core…

 

“OHHHHHH!!!!”

Sasami passed a worried look to her furry companion. “It's already been over three hours. Do you think I made a mistake?” The furry creature wiggled its nose and stared into Sasami's eyes.

Sasami giggled. “I guess you're right, there's no way that Ayeka would let him take advantage of her. She's probably chasing him right now.” To any who were listening, it sounded more like the girl was trying to convince herself than anyone else.

 

As Ayeka gave her cry of release, Ranma released his seed within her. Oh, crap! Ranma thought the instant he did. I haven't ever made that mistake before… Maybe I'm getting senile?

Hearing the cry of their princess, Azaka and Kamidake phased into the room. Before them was princess Ayeka with a contented smile and a pigtailed youth whom they kidnapped with Ryoko. Seeing what they perceived as a threat, they began to open fire.

 

Sasami watched as Ranma dashed out of the house, headgear in hand, dodging the logs' blasts like it was child's play.

When he passed by, and overshot her, Sasami had to hold down her cute light blue skirt. It wasn't until after the vacuum settled that Sasami noted there was something in her hand. Looking down, she realized it was Ayeka's headpiece. She gave a girlish giggle and skipped into her own wooden house.

 

Ryoko was not have a good day. It had started off so well too. The boy she watched grow up and began having a crush on, freed her from her prison. Then everything went downhill.

The guy who stole her gems refused to give them back and proved to be equal if not slightly stronger than her when she possessed all three gems. Not only did he refuse to give them back, he pretended not to know what she was talking about. He outmaneuvered her, duplicated her techniques, groped her and then stripped her naked.

Never before had she been so utterly humiliated… yet, he stoked a fire she long thought was dead.

Immediately after Ayeka captured her, forced to orgasm for over an hour (okay… so that part wasn't so bad), stabbed by the devil princess and locked up in a prison she has no real hopes of escaping.

“Why does stuff always happen to me?” Ryoko asked no one in particular.

“Dunno?” Therefore, Ryoko was surprised to receive an answer to her question; and by Ranma, no less.

“Ranma!” she exclaimed, but quickly removed the joy from her voice. “How did you get captured?” Ryoko asked her new neighbor.

Ranma was lying down with his head propped up on a pillow in the cell next to hers. “I was out playing with Sasami, this little girl I met on the ship, when the two logs started to chase me. When I got bored, I let `em catch me.”

Ryoko blinked. “You mean you can escape whenever you want?” she asked incredulously. Of course he can, she mentally chastised herself. So could I if I had my gems… Ryoko paused her thinking and looked back into Ranma's cell. Narrowing her eyes into slits, she pointed at Ranma. “Where did you get a pillow and blanket?”

Ranma began to sweat profusely and looked away from Ryoko. “I… found them! Yep, I found `em in here.”

Ryoko blinked and search around her own cell. “I can't find any in my cell,” she whined, sniffling while tears welled in her eyes.

With his back turned to Ryoko, Ranma dug into his sleeves and pulled out an extra blanket and pillow. Before Ryoko could blink, Ranma was kneeling next to her within her cell and handing her a blanket and pillow of her own. “I had an extra set. Maybe they put yours in my cell?” Ranma offered weakly and chuckled nervously.

Numbly, Ryoko took the items and allowed Ranma to tuck you in. “Night, night Ryoko-chan.” Then Ranma was back in his own cell and snoring lightly.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-

 

“You will tell me where my brother Yosho is, pirate scum.” Ayeka demanded. Her face an interesting shade of red.

Ranma blinked from his position underneath her (as he was hanging upside-down) he easily make out the voluptuous curves if her breasts. Just beyond the mounds he could easily see her blush. Giving a lecherous grin he commented, “I'm the heir of Yosho. Everything that was once his now belongs to me. So I guess that means you're my first wife, princess?”

Ayeka caught politely into her hand, try to steady her voice before she replied. “What gave you the idea you're Yosho's heir?” Whatever you say, don't say he's dead, Ayeka pleaded internally.

Ranma shrugged from his awkward position. “He's my ancestor on my father's side. There was a legend down my lineage stating whoever can free his blade, will inherit everything he ever possessed.”

“Yosho married an Earth woman?” Ayeka asked with some trepidation. She shook her head and turned a stern look at Ranma. “Does my brother still live?” Ayeka demanded.

Ranma, though he was supposed to be bound, stroked his chin and thought for a moment. “From what I remember, there are two family lines. Mine was the first, started some seven hundred years ago; right after his first daughter married a wandering swordsman. And the other continued the Masaki family lineage, as guardians to Yosho's land. From there, things are kinda fuzzy.”

“Fuzzy, how?” Ayeka requested, with rapt interest. She took a stool and sat at Ranma's head.

Ranma continued his story once Ayeka was comfortably seated. “According to the Masaki family, Yosho died while fighting the demons Ryoko and Ryo-Ohki, but my family line says he's still alive but chooses only to observe the world's growth and advancement.” After pausing to reflect a few moments he spoke again. “When I was younger, I visited the Masaki Shrine and claimed the sword of Yosho for myself. Sometimes, when I focus on the hilt, I can see an image a tall beautiful woman wearing a multi-layer kimono. When I see her, I feel her name is Tsunami, and she's somehow related to Yosho's disappearance.”

Ayeka's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “Does this woman have soft red eyes and skin as perfect as a goddess?” Seeing Ranma nod, she gestured towards an image of Japan. “Where is the Masaki Shrine?”

Ranma rolled out of the guardian logs' binding fields ad pointed to the spot on the map, ignoring the incredulous gazes of Azaka and Kamidake. Ayeka would have done the same had she known her guards hadn't released the force field.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-

 

Ranma stared ahead of him at the `ruined' remains of Furinkan with a very large sweat drop. Though he had been gone all last night and a bit of today, Nerima's construction companies had managed to reassemble and even add an extension on the school building. “That's just weird…”

“What's weird Ranchan?”

Without looking away from the intact building, he pulled Ukyo against his body. “I was here last night the school was destroyed. Can you explain how the heck they managed to rebuild it in one night?” By the time Ranma finished, he was near hysterical. Rebuilding a building as large as a high school is not possible in just one night… Is it?

Ukyo patted his chest affectionately. “With the number of martial artists here, its reasonable they can work so fast. Otherwise everyone would have to leave Nerima as a broken ruin. I mean look at North Nerima, I hear Nuku Nuku has constant battles with military type helicopters, jets and even tanks.”

Ranma looked at Ukyo as though the girl were suffering heatstroke. “Well, I'm moving to a normal Ward. Some place like Juuban.” Ranma had to pause and wipe the drool from his chin. Can't wait to see those Sailor Senshi…

While Ranma was having a mental equivalent of a restart, Ukyo and Nabiki went into class arm-in-arm.

 

As Ranma arrived to place his enrollment forms to Mugen Academy he couldn't help but sweat drop. Littered about were puddles of ooze-like substances. As he searched further ahead, he could make out all five Senshi battling some monster looking creatures.

With a sigh, he turned away from the battle headed to a local shrine hoping to find lodging. “Man what is with Tokyo these days? If it isn't aliens or Nerima-Class martial artists, it's Shkima, Youma, demons or robots.” He grumbled to himself as he ascended a long flight of stairs.

At its apex, he took in the sight of the shrine grounds. “Miko-dono!” Ranma called hoping to be graced with a beautiful shrine maiden. A person rounded the corner with a large grin on his face. “Hai?”

“Aho! Aho!” called the crows high overhead

“Chirp, chirp chir-chirp!” whistled the small birds dancing in the trees.

“Bzzzwzwzwzwzzzzzzz” rang the Cicadas within the tree branches, each seeking a mate.

Finally recovering his wits, Ranma walked up to the priest. “Where are all the shrine maidens?”

The little old priest shook his head sadly, and looked down at his feet. “Young ladies don't want to live the life of a shrine keeper anymore. Other my granddaughter, there are none.”

Ranma jerked as if slapped. “A shrine without maidens is like a fast car without wheels!” Ranma declared, extending a fist into the air. “I will bring in twelve sexy shrine maidens by the end of this week or my name isn't Ranma Saotome!”

The priest's eyes glazed over and he began to giggle as several ecchi thoughts played. “Thank you young man! You make an old priest's dreams come true!”

Ranma and the elder Hino wrapped arms around each like drunken buddies. “When I succeeded in my task, I will get to marry your granddaughter and inherit the shrine!”

The priest paused a moment, thought about it, then shrugged. “I'll marry a Miko and settle down!”

And so the verbal agreement was made. And Ranma left to bring in mikos.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-

 

Katsuhito knelt across the table from Ayeka and sipped his tea. “I see,”

In all actuality he didn't, but if it meant he didn't have to be an Emperor and marry his own sister, than fine by him.

“Are there any in your line who wish to refute the claims made by your partner family, Saotome?” Ayeka requested, hoping that no one would. After all, she was deflowered by the Saotome heir.

“Tenchi!” Katsuhito barked. The sliding doors parted, revealing a young teen with a confidence problem. After the boy took his seat, the priest sipped from his tea. “Tenchi, this your decision as heir to the Masaki legacy. Our cousins have accepted the responsibility given to our ancestor Yosho. If you want, you may challenge them to that claim.”

Tenchi glanced nervously to his grandfather, seeking a lead on as to which he should choose. Of course, like always, Katsuhito gave no expression. Sighing, Tenchi turned to the `space princess' and answered…

 

-_-_-_-_-_-

 

Ranma paused after stepping through the double glass doors. He took a moment to take in his surroundings. All around him there were about thirty sexy women (who Ranma thought could be lingerie models) working out.

Not one to be fooled by visual illusions, Ranma opened up his aura senses. “Oh, this is gonna be too easy…” Ranma remarked. Belatedly, he realized all the women were now staring at him for his comment.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-

 

Five young girls entered the shrine's house (proper), chatting merrily.

“I'm glad we can finally relax again!” a blonde with twin pigtails crowed joyously. Thoughts of eating ice-cream and going on dates with her boyfriend Mamoru danced in her mind.

A beautiful, buxom blonde extended her arms toward the sky and leaned backwards, stretching out her sore back. “Yeah, maybe now I can finally get a boyfriend,” Minako commented.

“You know,” the tall girl with chestnut hair and large chest began, “I'm gonna miss bad guy bashing…” she commented forlornly. When everyone turned to look at her, she pulled down her lower eyelid and stuck out her tongue. “NNN! Just kidding!”

The moment Rei opened her bedroom door all five girls froze. “Did I just see a gorgeous hunk of man meat talking with grandpa Hino?” Makoto questioned.

“Yeah,” came one of the girls' reply. Everyone turned to stare at Ami, the least likely to say such a thing. “What?” the blue haired girl asked. When they didn't stop staring she buried her nose in a book to hide her embarrassment.

After a round of `King of the Hill' (each takes a turn saying “yup, mm hmm, etc…) blinking style, the girls filed into Rei's bedroom. Standing at the doorway Rei informs the other girls, “I'm going to go find out just who this new guy is.” A moment before leaving she turns to face the others. “Nobody follows me, got that?” Rei stared down Minako and Makoto until they firmly planted themselves into their seats.

 

“…and neither of us is going to tell Rei until after the Fire Reading.” The voice of a young man drifted to Rei's ears.

Rei hid against the wall and tried to listen in. What is gramps up to this time? Rei pondered. Since her birthday wasn't for another couple months, that couldn't be it. Why her grandfather preferred the western style of celebrating the day of one's birth was beyond her. May as well let the old man his fun, Rei mused. Just so long as it isn't something perverted, she corrected after a moment.

Not being able to hear anymore of the conversation, Rei made her entrance. She noted at least thirty Miko sitting and standing around the tearoom engaged in various conversations. She gave a respectful bow to both her grandfather and his friend. Rule number one when trying to snag a great looking guy, Rei tallied mentally. Pretend to be innocent and sweet. “What's going on, Grandfather?”

“Oh yeah! I almost forgot,” grandpa Hino said, hastily standing. Gesturing with his arm, he introduced, “This is Ranma, I'd like for you to do a Fire Reading for him.”

Ranma stood, giving Rei a roguish smile followed with a bow. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Rei.”

Sharing a mischievous look with Ranma, Hino-san patted Rei's arm. “Why don't you bring your friends along with you? I'm sure Ranma won't mind.”

Rei's countenance shifted from pleased to upset to perplexed, finally settling on Ranma. Rule two: When in doubt, let the guy choose, Rei thought triumphantly.

With a grin, Ranma said, “The more the merrier!” as cheerful as a child playing in the park. Rei looped her arm in Ranma's and led him out the room.

 

You're doing it wrong,” Ranma commented.

Rei growled, but said nothing. Ranma sighed and laid his head in her lap. Whether it was anger at Ranma's previous statement or the sudden flux of emotions caused by Ranma's head, Rei couldn't concentrate. Looking down at the man, she barked, “Ranma, you're being a distraction! Either sit over there by the door, or GET OUT!”

Ranma stood and headed for the door. “You don't have to yell at me just because I'm right…” he muttered under his breath.

Rei clenched her teeth, but it wasn't enough to hold back her scathing remark. “I've been doing Fire Readings for the last three years on my own, I think I know what I'm doing!” Rei admonished him

“I've spent five years being trained by a Quincy, two of those years I was trained by a Shinigame, and for the last twenty years, I've been trained by the greatest of Chi and Ki masters. I think I can tell when you're using the wrong kind of energy.”

Rei paled, “Now I know you're lying! The Quincy's were killed off over a hundred years ago!”

Choosing to ignore Rei's comment, the other Senshi bombarded Ranma with questions.

“Can you use magic?” Usagi.

“Are you still single?” Makoto.

“Can you demonstrate these energies for us?” Ami.

“How old are you?” Minako.

Ranma held up a hand to forestall further questions. “While I have met several magic users, magic's just for me.” Ranma said, giving a knowing look to the girls, which went unnoticed. “I'm not single anymore. Now I'm engaged to Rei-“ Whatever else Ranma was about to say was abruptly cut off.

“WHAT?” came the unified shout from all the girls, Rei especially.

Ranma rubbed his ears. “Your grandpa and I made a deal, that I could get twelve beautiful women to join as shrine maidens by the end of the week, I'd get to marry and inherit the shrine grounds as your dowry.” Ranma explained.

“Grandpa…” Rei growled like a bear.

 

***

 

Seated at a dining table surrounded by thirty beautiful shrine maidens, a little old man shivered. It feels like someone's walking over my grave… he thought.

 

***

 

When Rei noted all her friends giving her a jealous eye she turned a flat stare to Ranma. “I'll sell Ranma to the highest bidder!” Rei announced.

Ranma shrugged. “Fine with me.” Ranma said flippantly. “Mako-chan's got build I like, Mina-chan's beautiful and spunky, Usagi's kind and sweet and Ami's way smarter than I am.” Ranma wriggled his eyebrows suggestively at each of the girls in turn, causing each to blush. “Other than your Fire Reading ability, since you're forfeiting the shrine, you're equal the next girl.”

Makoto and Minako sidled up to him, wrapping their arms around him and pressing their assets to his arms. “We don't mind sharing you. Right Mina-chan?” “Right!”

Ami hid her nose in a book. There was no way she was getting involved in this.

Usagi's eyes were filled with hearts, as she imagined her and Rei having a double wedding to Mamoru and Ranma. Usagi began giggling when she watched all of Rei's children running around and playing.

All eyes turned to focus on Usagi. If this were anime show, you would see a rather large sweat drop in the upper left corner.

Putting all the joking aside cleared her throat. Makoto and Minako quickly returned to their seats, Ami set her book to her side, and Usagi returned to Rei's manga.

“So tell me what you want a Fire Reading on, Ranma,” Rei requested sweetly.

Ranma paused a moment, placed a pipe in his mouth and puffed a few times. So engrossed in his thoughts, Ranma didn't see the look of awe at how he pulled a pipe from nowhere.

Rei gave a small, almost imperceptible nod to Ami, who quickly pulled out her Mercury Computer and began scanning Ranma. Like a well-trained team, the other four held their Henshin Pens behind their backs.

“I know,” Ranma exclaimed, setting his pipe `away'. “I want to know my future wife's greatest secret.”

Ami's barely visible shake of a head, which looked almost like she was flipping her hair, the group of girls relaxed. “Her greatest secret you say?” Makoto asked timidly.

Ranma nodded proudly, as if he just solved the Unified Field Theory.

“Are you sure that's such a good idea? I mean a girl without her secrets feels like she's a caged animal. Trust me, I should know,” Makoto stressed. If he found out about them being Sailor Scouts, that could spell trouble.

Ranma laid back and rested his head on a pillow, arms tucked beneath his head. “Well, I don't want Rei-chan to feel `violated', so what do you girls suggest we do instead of a Fire Reading?”

After a pregnant pause Ami spoke up. “If you're not too bothered by it, I'd like to observe the different energies you can use.” As much as she wanted to ask `how' Ranma kept conjuring these previously non-existent objects, she needed to record the energies Ranma spoke of.

 

Ranma performed a few brief stretches, and glanced around the park clearing at the many passing women. “I hope Rei-chan can be as beautiful as those ladies.” Ranma commented to himself.

With Herculean effort, Rei bit off her comment, and slammed an elbow into Ranma's ribcage. What the heck is made of, steel? Rei thought with a good bit of pain ringing through her elbow.

For his part, Ranma didn't seem to have noticed her assault. Ranma glanced down to young priestess under his right arm. “This is as good a spot as any.”

Ranma's comment brought all five girls from their silent musings. Usagi took one last lick of her ice-cream and swallowed the cone. “Thanks for the ice-cream, Ranma,” Usagi said merrily while giving a grateful bow.

Minako choked on a stray ponytail, causing her to cough a couple times. When she recovered, she realized everyone was staring at her, like she had a speech to make. Giving an award-winning smile, Minako said the first thing that popped into her mind. “I wish Ranma held me in his arms.” Oh. My. God… I hope didn't just say that out loud!

Ranma smirked but said nothing. Rei scowled hard enough to make Minako flinch and hide behind Makoto. Makoto shuffled nervously under the eyes that promised serious bodily harm to any who tried to get Ranma.

(Cough)

All eyes turned to Ami, who fought valiantly not to hide behind a book. “Perhaps we should move on to Ranma's demonstration,” she suggested meekly.

“Great idea!” Minako's voice crowed from behind Makoto. After a moment her head peeked over one of the taller girl's shoulders. Seeing Rei's attention elsewhere, she came out from behind her best friend.

Ranma gave Minako a wink. “Since you're all so eager to see my abilities, when do I get to see yours?” Seeing the girls shuffle semi-nervously, yet none were willing to come forward, Ranma shrugged. “Doesn't matter really. I was just curious that's all.” Ranma began to focus his energies and massive downdraft struck the immediate area. The girls found themselves having trouble breathing.

When the spiritual pressure abated the looked to Ranma and saw him in completely different attire. Where previously, he wore a pair of blue jeans and a black T-shirt, now he was wearing a form-fitting, sleeveless, black bodysuit (looks like Happosai's attire only more snug), a set of black bracers covering his entire lower arms, and the backside of his hands with a loop attached to each middle fingers and a katana strapped to his waist.

A round of gasps ensued.

Ranma performed a few stretches allowing him to work the kinks out of his muscles. “What do you girls see?” Ranma inquired, hoping he performed the spirit-eye technique correctly.

“You in a pair of PJs,” Rei taunted.

“What was that pressure a moment ago?” Ami questioned, noting the total absence of the earlier weight.

“That was a technique I made up earlier today, I thought I'd try it out you girls.” Ranma explained, earning more than a few angry looks. Ranma quickly made warding gestures. “If it didn't work, you wouldn't have even noticed it, I swear!”

Rei folded her arms, “So what did this technique do?” she questioned cynically. “Other than trying to suffocate us.”

Ranma laughed nervously. “I opened your spirit's eyes,” he answered sounding more like a question than anything else. Seeing Rei's glare intensify, he elaborated. “I made it so you can now see things on a spirit level. You know, like spirits and Shinigame.”

A round of confused noises followed, until Minako asked, “You mean we can see ghosts?”

Ranma stroked his chin a moment, puffing on his pipe. “I suppose that's close enough.” Ranma thought for a few moments more then shrugged. “Anyway, I did so to allow you to see my Quincy powers. While Rei might have been able to feel them, the rest of you wouldn't even know I was doing anything.”

Ami had a thoughtful look in her eyes and brought out her Mercury Computer. “Fascinating…” she noised, typing a few keys every now and again. After a couple moments, she looked up at Ranma and asked, “So what do you call the energy?”

“Uh…?” Ranma scratched his head in thought. “I can't say I've ever heard a name given for it. But the spirit particles are called Reishi, so let's go with that.”

Ami and Rei nodded. “This Reishi feels similar to Ki.” Rei noted. Shook herself to regain her composure. “Hurry up and give us your demonstration, I'm tired of looking at all these ghosts.” Rei barked at Ranma.

At the mention of the word, Usagi, Minako and Makoto paled and began looking around for any images of ghosts.

“I don't see any ghosts.” Usagi.

“That's because Rei was just kidding, right Rei? Right…?” Minako asked with a hint of desperation in her voice.

“Come on, guys!” Makoto chided, “We have Ranma here to protect us.” By the end of her statement, her eyes had grown little hearts in them.

(Tug, tug) “Miss, can you help me find my mommy?”

That last one drew everyone's attention to a sniffling five-year-old girl. Her pink dress fell to her knees and her frilly white blouse was buffeted in the wind. But that's not what drew the girls' attention. The real eye-catcher was the thick chain leading from her chest.

Usagi knelt down to the girl and pulled her into a tight embrace. “Sure I will. Where's the last place you saw her?”

The little girl pointed to an empty lot across the street. “That's where me and mommy used to live, about five months ago.”

Usagi stared pass the lot and saw nothing but open field. I doubt she was homeless. Usagi thought glumly. After all, there weren't any homeless people in Juuban, they were either in a monster victim's shelter or moved to a different city. “I don't see your house anywhere,” Usagi said to the girls, both hands on the child's shoulders.

“That's because those two mean Sailors broke it into pieces when they were fighting a Droid in front of our house. I haven't seen her since then.”

By the end of the girl's short story, Usagi had tears rolling down her face. Before she could become Princess Serenity, Ranma laid a soft hand on her shoulder. “Little one, I'll send you to your mother.” Ranma said warmly to the girl.

The child-spirit's eyes widened and glimmered with unshed tears. “Will you really?” she asked with all of her hopes on Ranma's next answer.

Ranma gave a giant grin and laughed heartily. “Of course I can!” Withdrawing his sword he held it high above the girl's head and brought the pommel to rest on her forehead. In spectacular display of colors, the girl vanished. To any who knew what to look for would see a hell butterfly floating into the sky.

Ranma's shoulders slumped as he replaced his sword. “I hate having to send children to Soul Society. That place just isn't what you'd expect it to be.” Ranma said sadly. With speed only possible by anime characters, Ranma's expression turned joyful. “I'm kidding! Soul Society is a great place!”

Usagi sniffled a few times and tugged at Ranma's sleeve. Ranma paused his maniac laughter to look at the twin pony-tailed girl. “Do you think she'll be alright all by herself?” Usagi asked.

Seeing the pleading look in all five of his companions' eyes, Ranma released a long breath. Before speaking, he closed the girls' spirit-eyes. “You don't have to worry. She'll be fine. Even if her mother isn't there, I personally know many people that will be more than willing to take her in.”

Satisfied with the answer, Usagi's tears dried up and a bright smile stretched its way across her face. “Let's go get some ice-cream!”

Rei's eye twitched violently. “We just left the ice cream stand before we got here!”

“But that doesn't count!” Usagi pleaded. “I wanna go to the parlor and choose from a variety of different flavors!”

“Can it, Meatball-head!” Rei shouted back.

“WAHH!! Rei, you're so mean!”

As Rei and Usagi launched into another verbal battle and Makoto and Minako tried to console the wailing princess, Ami took the time to speak with Ranma. “Excuse me, Ranma,” she bade, willing her body not to fidget. Ranma turned to look down on the girl. “I would like to see how advanced your Ki control is when compared to Rei's.”

Ranma gave a half grin. “Sure, I don't mind…” Just how much can I release without overloading her little scanner?

Ami stared at a nervous Ranma for several moments making hi fidget uncomfortably. To relieve the stress on him, Ami spoke up. “I'm ready when you are.”

(Sigh) Here goes nothing…Deciding to play by ear; so to speak, Ranma slowly let the restraints on his Ki go.

Within seconds Ami's computer began beeping in a high pitch. This can't be right…! Ami debated. Her palmtop had to be on the fritz, because she getting a higher reading from Ranma than even Pharaoh 90 generated. If that were the case, than the Senshi would be able to go on vacation.

“Dead scream.” Came a whisper that seemed just as loud as screaming.

Ranma raised a hand and dispelled the attack harmlessly, as if he were used to people attacking his back. Time seemed to slow down while Ranma turned in the direction the attack came from.

For Setsuna, it felt like being cornered by a lion wearing cement shoes and in handcuffs. The sheer force of his kill intent froze her blood and her mouth ran dry. Even as she stared at him, she felt only an inch tall looking at a twenty-foot demon.

“I don't take kindly to people attacking my back, Lady.” Ranma remarked coldly, his eyes piercing into the depths of Pluto's soul.

The united Inners looked between Ranma and a deathly pale Sailor Pluto. Whatever Ranma had done to her, it seriously scared the Time Senshi.

Rei placed a gentle hand on Ranma's arm, breaking his stone countenance. Then, for Pluto, as quickly as her dream of Crystal Tokyo was born it was over. Ranma turned a smiling face on the girls accompanying him. Scratching the back of his head, he offered, ”Who's up for ice-cream then a day at the arcades?”

Usagi's face changed from horrified at Pluto's actions to joyous in less than a microsecond. “ICE-CREAM!!”

(Sigh) “Come on, meatball head, let's go.” Rei agreed with less gusto than her counterpart.

Seeing that Pluto had left and there wasn't likely to be any Youma attacks, the other three nodded and followed.

 

Rei's gaze didn't turn from the enigma that is her new fiancé.

For the fifth time, since the group had seated themselves, Makoto found her friend-locking eyes on the hunk that should be hers. Under the table Makoto pinched Reis leg.

“Eech!” Rei gasped, rubbing at her leg and trying not to show too much of her discomfort. Suddenly, she was feeling remorse for telling Makoto to detract her gazes from Ranma.

Ranma placed a gentle hand on Rei's. “Are you alright, Rei? That's got to be the fifth time you just cried out in pain, and we've only been here ten minutes.” To any who listened, Ranma was teasing her, but for those who saw his eyes knew he was concerned.

Rei snatched her hand away and glared daggers at her fiancé. “What do you care? You'd probably just tease me about it later!”

Ranma gave an award-winning smile, causing girls several tables over to swoon. “Oh, Rei,” Ranma began, cupping her hand in his two large, calloused hands. “Of course I would.”

Had Rei been able to make out the words being spoken, rather than being overwhelmed by teenage hormones, she would not have been blushing beet red from his announcement.

When Rei didn't pick up the bait, Ranma grew somewhat concerned. He waved a hand in front of her face to get some kind of reaction. “'Ello? Rei…”

The Senshi of Fire snapped to, with a start. “Ranma…!” The sense of dread permeated through the restroom's air, hanging thickly like molasses. “You're on the end of your leash, buster.”

Ranma waved his hands in a warding gesture. “Sorry, sorry. It won't happen again!”

Rei “hmphed”, crossing her arms under her breasts. “I'm the one who's stuck with a childish brat for a fiancé…” she grumbled under her breath.

Ranma quickly excused himself from the table, heading to the restroom to freshen up.

With the major focus of the table gone, the girls rounded on one another and began a quick round of gossip. “So, Rei, what do you think of your fiancé so far?” Minako questioned with narrowed eyes.

“I think Rei's fiancé is a real hunk!” Makoto surmised. When everyone focused a collective gaze on her Makoto shrunk back into her seat. “Sorry,” she apologized weakly.

“I think he's a jerk! Not just that, but he's rude, obnoxious and a flirting tease!” Rei offered; the flames associated with her Senshi form dancing spectacularly in her eyes.

The group of girls shied from Rei's gaze and edged a little further away from her. “He's not that bad.” Usagi offered, trying to lighten the anger Rei was displaying. “After all, he did offer to treat us to ice-cream!” The trail of drool sliding down the corner of her mouth was testament to her opinion on that subject.

“I agree, Ranma's dam sexy!”

The girls looked to one another, trying to determine which of them had said such a crude thing. `Even if was true,' came the thought of all five girls. Finally they located the source of the voice.

“RANMA!” A unified shriek resounded through the parlor, coming from women in completed different booths.

Ranma looked around with several small sweatdrops on the back of his head.

The wind blew through the small establishment.

After a pregnant pause, Ranma cleared his throat and sat beside Rei and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Hey, Rei, I was wondering what you girls thought of superheroes?”

“Superheroes? W-Why do you ask that, all of the sudden?” There was a note of anxiety in her voice that Ranma picked up on.

“I was just curious, is all.” Ranma plucked at his dish of ice-cream, not looking his fiancée in the eyes.

“I think they're pretty cool; they keep us safe from Youma, right?” Rei adjusted her seating for the fifth time since Ranma had asked. `Why should I be feeling nervous? It's not like he won't find out eventually,' Rei thought with a hint of trepidation.

Usagi perked up, little stars twinkling her eyes. “Beautiful girls wearing cute outfits and having the leader's lover assist them once in awhile… I think it's soooo romantic!”

“Hot, buff guys wearing skintight body suits, that show off all of his muscles…” Minako trailed off with a hungry look in her eyes; a look that was duplicated in Makoto's personage.

Ranma made a mental note to wear his skintight ninja attire for the girls one of these days. “I can smell the juices from here,” Ranma remarked, earning a few blushes and an equal number of glares. Ranma tossed up his hands in an innocent motion. “What? It's not like I'm lying.”

Rei grit her teeth, trying hard not to bash Ranma in the head for such a comment; the fact it held true for her as well went a long way in assisting her. “Forget it, Ranma. I'm ready to leave now.”

“B-b-but,” Usagi started, tears working their way to the corners of her eyes. “MY ICE-CREAM!!!”

 

* * *

 

On the moon, a pair of cosmonauts hopped over to a container. It was shaped like a manhole, but the lid with decorated with red gems.

“What do you suppose it is?” #1 asked #2.

“I don't know, let see if we can open it,” #2 suggested. The two pried the lid away and thrown to the ground for their ministrations.

A woman dressed like a witch, with white hair extended to stand straight out the sides of her head; a gorilla-faced man in golden armor; a goat-faced man shorter than all the others and two baboon-men all were ejected from the container.

“Finally!” The witch proclaimed, not at all affected by the lack of oxygen on the Moon's surface. “After ten thousand years I'm FREE! IT'S TIME TO CONQUER EARTH!”

 

* * *

 

In a chamber room, within a complex built in a desert not known by any, a klaxon went off; bright red lights poured in every direction from the twirling lamps.

A robot, inactive for countless centuries, stood upright, lights flickering on and flashing in patterns, their meaning lost in time with the original creators. “Aye, aye, aye, aye, AYE!” The robot noised, it's antique limbs flailing with renewed life. “It's the big one, I just know it! We're all going to be buried at the bottom of the sea!”

Within a cylindrical column a white face appeared, its movement causing a ghostly trail to obscure any definition. “Calm down, Alpha; it's just Rita. She's attacking the city.”

“Oh no! What do we do?” Alpha asked frantically.

“Teleport five overbearing and overemotional humans.” The sense of urgency was not lost in his calm voice.

“Oh, no, not them! Not teenagers!” The robot asked, a definite sense of dread in its digitized voice.

Suddenly, and unprovoked, the large globe of white produced an image. A young man in his twenties was looking around the room, nodding. “Zordon, Alpha 5, I know just the teenagers you need!”

The robot and the floating head turned to face the image in the screen. “Ranma!” Alpha 5 cried, a sense of respect in his voice.

Ranma smirked and nodded. “It's been awhile, hasn't it?”

“I'm sorry that we are not able to mingle longer, Ranma, but the world is dire straits. Ri-“ Zordon's rant was cut short when Ranma continued his sentence.

“Rita's escaped and you want to recruit five teenagers to replace the deceased Power Rangers, am I right?”

Zordon nodded, a look of bafflement in his features. “I was not aware you could sense the flows of energy so well now Ranma.”

Ranma shrugged dismissively. “I get around.”

“What was that you said about having the perfect teenagers for us?” Alpha requested, his servos beginning to go haywire as they chatted instead of preparing a team.

Ranma smiled warmly at the robot. “As eager as ever I see, Alpha. Well, I can bring them to you in a few moments.”

“It is up to you, Ranma. I will trust your judgment hasn't lessened over the millennia,” Zordon teased.

 

* * *

 

Now that Makoto and Ami calmed the distraught blonde, Ranma figured this was a good time to do what he needed to. “Time to go.”

Rei looked up at Ranma, not comprehending what he meant, until the last moment.

Suddenly, the five girls found themselves in an unfamiliar environment. All around them were gizmos and gadgets, turn dials and pullers, knobs and handles.

The five girls drifted for a few moments, trying to equate themselves to their new environment. “Where are we?” Makoto asked, pressing buttons on an indiscernible console.

“No touching!” Ranma barked, interposing himself between the tall brunette and the console.

“If I get you instead, I won't touch anything else.”

Ranma gave a roguish grin. “Careful, girlie, you just might get your wish.”

Rei drove a fist into the back of Ranma's skull. She held her hand a moment later. “Damn, that's a hard head!”

Ranma grunted as he picked his body up of the floor. She had sent him over the console and five meters to impact against the wall before sliding to the ground.

“Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye! Ranma, are you okay?”

“Prodigious!” Exclaimed a young Caucasian male, his dirty blonde hair being tossed away from his eyes as he inspected the robot in front of him. “A fully sentient, multifunctional automaton, I've never seen anything like it.

“Is this a fully autonomous bi-pedal android?” Ami asked, wandering over to the little robot.

A tall, muscular Caucasian looked on blankly as the two supergeniuses began analyzing the machine. “Wow, now that's just weird…” he remarked.

Makoto made her way next to him. “Hey, handsome, I'm Makoto, but my friends call me Mako-chan.”

He gave a firm smile and extended his hand in friendship. “I'm Jason. You mind if I call you Mako-chan? It's a whole lot easier than Makoto… Not that that's a bad name or anything!” He hastily amended, not wanting to offend his prospective girlfriend.

“Oh, you can call me whatever you like,” Makoto returned, her voice husky. When she noted the jaws hanging agape, she blushed crimson, asking, “I said that out loud, didn't I?”

A collective nod.

Ranma clapped his hands, drawing the assembled groups' attention. “Thanks to Usagi's crying fit and a good bit of miscommunication, we have two teams of teenagers. Normally, that would prove a problem,” Ranma stated.

Zordon picked up where Ranma left off. “Since Ranma was a Power Ranger and retained the Morphers of his deceased team, it is not.” Zordon informed the assembled group.

“Where are we?” The black guy, with Minako draped off his arm asked. `Not that I mind the company,' he thought with an inward smirk.

“Who are you?” Jason asked, crossing his arms over his muscular chest.

“Like, what are you?” the lithe beauty asked of Ranma and Zordon. She knew the four she arrived with, but not the other eight.

“I am Zordon, an inter-dimensional being, caught in a time warp.”

The robot finally escaped the intellectual embraces of Billy and Ami. “And my name is Alpha 5.”

“Ranma,” said person informed, not bothering with his species of origin; that would be a long list.

The lithe Caucasian girl spoke up once more. “Excuse me, but will, like, somebody come back to Earth and pick me up? Because I'm totally confused.” Usagi nodded, being in the same boat (no pun intended).

“It's quite simple my dears, this planet is under attack, and I have brought you here to save it.” Zordon replied.

“Oh yeah right!” Zack remarked, bringing a giggle from a few of his friends.

“Ahh, a none believer? Look behind you at the viewing globe.”

The group turned to face a globe, science's answer to scrying as Ranma liked to put it.

Displayed was the image of a witch riding a bicycle through the air, being followed closely by a flying gorilla-man.

“This is Rita Repulsa, one of the Universe's greatest threats,” Ranma informed the group.

“With her henchmen and Putty Patrollers,” Zordon continued, taking back the spotlight. The image changed to show a group of grey humanoids running amuck in a park. “She plans to conquer Earth.”

“Wahahahaha!” Rita's laugh echoed through the orb and rang around the room.

The Asian girl, the one that had Ranma's leering eye, spoke up; her voice was smooth like silk, reflecting her compassion and strength, “What does this have to do with us?”

Rei saw Ranma's wandering eye and made a pledge to introduce him to her `Mars Flaming Sniper' later on.

“You've been chosen to form elite team to battle Rita. Each of you will be given access to extraordinary powers, drawn from the ancient creatures you call dinosaurs.”

“Dinosaurs?” Kimberly asked.

A bright flash emitted from all the teens' waists.

“Behold! The keys to your power.” Zordon offered by way of explanation.

Zack was the first to be able to unfasten his buckle. “Whoa!” He held it up to display to Zordon. “What are these?”

“Those are your power Morphers. When in danger, raise them to the sky, calling the name of your dinosaur and you will morph into a formidable fighting force, known to one and all as, the Power Rangers.”

“Morph?” Usagi and Kimberly asked in tandem.

“Metamorphosis!” Billy and Ami puzzled in unison.

“That means to change,” Trini explained.

The teenagers shared a `lightbulb' experience at Trini's words.

Zordon kept on trucking. “As Power Rangers you will have access to a Universe of power, and will command a fleet of fighting machines, called `Zords'.”

I don't get it, Trini told to Ranma, a look of utter confusion in her eyes. The girls Ranma brought were looking a bit pasty, like they were trying to hide something.

Again Zordon pushed forward; after all time was limited and the sooner they finished their round of initiation, the sooner they could save the planet. “Jason, bold and powerful, you shall command the Tyrannosaurus Dinozord.” As he spoke their names and Dinozords, the teens took on Powersuits. “You are clever and brave, you shall command the Mastodon Dinozord. Kimberly, graceful and smart, the Pterodactyl Dinozord shall be yours. Billy, patient and wise, you shall command the powerful Triceratops Dinozord. Trini, fearless and agile, the Sabertooth Tiger Dinozord will be under your command.

As Ranma spoke a projected image appeared from the palm of his hand, displaying each of the girls' partners. “Ami, your wisdom and tactical mind makes you perfect to partner with the Blue Organoid.” The Blue Organoid was shaped like a slender European dragon, with wings that fold behind its back. “Minako, loving and devout, the Yellow Organoid your partner.” The following Organoids look the same as the first, but are the color Ranma calls (go figure?). “Rei, a fiery spirit and coy mind, you shall Partner with the Red Organoid. Usagi I want you to be the Silver Organoid's partner, for possessing the speed and agility of a natural-born flyer.” Ranma looked pointedly at Makoto, his grin not fading. This was the only reason he had even come over here to Zordon. “Finally, there is Makoto; loyal to the death and never backing down, you will command the Green Organoid.” The Green Organoid was shaped like a miniature Tyrannosaurus; instead of having wings, he possessed powerful boosters on his back. “That is why I'm assigning you as leader of the team.” Ranma announced.

All eyes turned to Usagi, but no one dared to say a word about it.

“Observe the Viewing Globe,” Zordon commanded. The group of Power Rangers made their way to the orb and watched. “Just as the five of you work together, so d your Zords. When you need help, you need only to call upon the power of the Dinozords, which will join together to form the Mighty Megazords.”

The image of the Zordon's team's Megazord transforming from Battle Mode to Megazord Mode was clearly displayed. The rangers were getting excited now, and were eager to get out and do some fighting.

“Power Morphers, Megazords, this is just too weird for me!” Zack noted, turning to face Zordon. “I'll tell ya what, It's been real, but, I gotta go!”

“Yeah, see ya,” Kimberly waved and started to follow Zack.

By the time they reached the second level, Zack noted the others remaining where they were. “Ya'll comin'? Jason!”

“What?” Jason was shaken from his thoughts, and looked to his friend before returning his gaze to the globe.

“Let's go man!” Zack called out.

“Very well then, let the power protect you!” Zordon called as the five American teens he picked left the room.

Ranma smirked at Zordon. “Do you think they will be back?”

Before Zordon could answer, lances of energy struck at the teens outside, followed seconds later by a squad of Putty Patrollers.

Ranma turned to his girls. “If you're ready to test your merit, you join them, but I don't think Sailor Senshi would fare too well against them.”

The five gave Ranma an incredulous look. How had he figured out their identities? The girls looked to Usagi who nodded.

“MOON PRISM POWER!”

“VENUS CRYSTAL POWER!”

“MARS CRYSTAL POWER!”

“JUPITER CRYSTAL POWER!”

“MERCURY CRYSTAL POWER!”

All together they cry, “MAKE UP!” In a brilliant myriad of colors, the girls are stripped of their clothing and the element unique to each covers them, and replaces the old suits with very short-skirted seifuku.

“Let's go, Senshi!” Usagi commands and they charged forward…

The group was brought to a halt when Sailor Moon tripped on her odango. “OWCHIE!! That hurt!” she shouted to the heavens. Her team lifted her and shuffled out the door.

“Eh!” Ranma noised, holding a palm to Zordon and using the other to rub his sinus cavity. “Not a word. Not a word.”

 

The Sailor Senshi arrived in time watch the others transform, or Morph as Zordon put it.

“Mastodon!”

“Pterodactyl!”

“Triceratops!”

“Sabertooth Tiger!”

“Tyrannosaurus!”

The five teens found their bodies moving in ways they found, oddly, second nature.

“That was sooo cool!” Moon informed the others.

Ranma's voice came tot the ten teens. “Jason, your team is going to Angel Grove, The Sailor Senshi will defend the fort. Be careful kids!”

A rainbow-like streak signified the teleportation of the five Americans. Just like that, the girls were left to fend for themselves. “To attack a superhero's base is an offense too great to compare,” Moon called, drawing the attention of the twelve Putties. “We are the Beautiful Sailor-suited Soldiers of Love and Justice.” The group of pretty girls gave a spectacular pose. “In the name of the Moon… We'll punish you!” Moon aimed her finger at the group like it were a gun.

“Sparkling Wide Pressure!”

“Burning Mandela!”

“Venus Love Me Chain!”

“Shine Aqua Illusion!”

“That was way too easy!” Moon stated, shocked that Putty Patrollers were not even to par with the Youma they fought a year ago.

The felled henchmen faded with a burst of green/yellow light. Ranma walked out the Command Center, clapping his hands. “Pretty good, girls. I really didn't think you would be able to win.”

Moon beamed like a star. “We've had a lot of experience!”

“I can tell. I think you would be perfect for the job I have planned for you.” At that, Ranma disappeared, fading into the air like a sandcastle in a hurricane.

 

The Inner Senshi watched in awe as the Power Rangers called out their Zords and combined together, forming the Megazord.

“WHOA! I could certainly go for something like that!” Makoto cheered.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Usagi agreed whole-heartedly, little stars glimmering in her eyes. “Me and my Mamo-chan could sit inside all snug and comfy…!” While Usagi didn't exactly trail off, the others tuned her ranting out.

“Zordon-san, do we have Zords too?” Ami inquired in her sweetest voice, hoping for the opportunity to analyze such a device.

The floating head nodded. “In a manner of speaking, yes. But your vehicles are known as Zoids, a race of mechanical life forms, from a planet only Ranma knows of.”

“Mechanical life forms? But how is that possible?” Rei inquired, eager to learn more about these `Zoids'

“They were built by a race of engineers called Zoidiyans,” Ranma informed, appearing at the edge of the platform, towards the surrounding wall. Behind him stood five machines, four looking like upright dragons with retracted wings, and the fifth a Tyrannosaur. “These are your new partners. Give them names and then we can begin training as pilots.”

Ami raised her hand demurely. “Training? The others said knowledge came to them. Why do we need training?”

“I really don't want to spend a lot of time discussing this, that and the other, right now, so I'll paraphrase everything. Zords are linked to the suits the Rangers wear. Zoids are giant animals with a console, expecting its pilot to know how to use them. Your Organoids can improve a Zoid's performance a hundred fold. Now, can we go?”

Ranma received a round of thoughtful expressions, then a series of nods. Ranma and the girls left at the same moment the Rangers arrived.

 

“Wow, look at all these robots!” Minako urged; her neck was straining from constantly craning her head back to see their tops.

Ami brandished her Perso-Com. “I'm not receiving any electromagnetic interference, but I am picking up on a electricity-based pulse. It's almost like mechanical heartbeats.”

“Right you are,” Ranma congratulated, “I have every kind of Zoid that was available at the time I went there. I even grabbed a few that disappeared from public eyes.” Ranma made a grand sweeping motion at the hanger filled with thousands of Zoids. “You can use whichever you want. Training will begin right after class tomorrow.”

“Wait, where are we, Ranma?” Rei asked, seeing that Ranma was about to teleport them somewhere else.

Ranma stroked his chin and puffed on his pipe. After a time, Ranma began puffing images of frilly panties with exquisite details. “Ami's panties… Minako's panties… Rei's panties-“

A meaty smack was the only warning Ranma got when Rei buried her fist in his face. “Keep your sick, perverted thoughts away from me and my panties!”

Ranma rubbed his nose. “That hurt you know? Can't a young man enjoy his only chance at youth, with fantasies about the most beautiful girls he's ever met?” Ranma bawled, sniffling for added effect.

Rei almost felt sorry for lashing out, until she realized just what he was talking about. Flames roared to life, surrounding her sexy form and reaching to the sky. “Ranma…” she growled, her teeth clenched tight.

Ranma copped a feel and bolted, running for life as living fire chased after him.

 

* * *

 

Ranma watched from a location he wasn't supposed to be in, as a Genosaurer (shaped similar to a T-Rex, but is weighted down with tons of armor and has a more narrowed head), and an Elephander (looks like an elephant) fought against Goldar and a random monster of the day.

A beam of ionized energy blasted from the Genosaurer and shredded easily through the cross-arm defense of the MTD (Monster of the Day). “That's gotta hurt, don't you think so?” Ranma questioned.

His companion, a white haired witch, jumped not expecting to have company. “What are you doing here, Ranma?” Rita demanded.

Ranma retrieved his pipe and began puffin at it “Can't a young man travel to the moon for a quickie these days?”

Rita found her face doing something she had not expected to do ever again in her long life; she was blushing like a schoolgirl. “W-well.. I.. I mean…” `C'mon, Rita! You're too old for this stuff!' Rita chastised herself.

Ranma placed an arm around her shoulders. “I know you could have destroyed the Earth eons ago, Rita-chan, just like you could have now. My concern is that your monsters are getting easier for the girls to beat.”

Rita looked over at the man draped over her shoulder. “W-what do you think I should do?”

“I'd try sending more monsters at a time, or maybe.. Giving me back my Morpher!” Ranma snapped, anger in his voice.

Rita smiled like a shark. “You know the agreement, Ranma. You marry me and I'll give to our first son!”
Ranma grit his teeth. “You already know I ain't one to get tied down. Besides, who knows how long it will be before I have a son?”

Rita turned back towards the Earth. “I guess, I'll just give it to that guy down there with the really high potential.”

“C'mon, Rita, you've been free for a week already, when are you going to give me what I want?” Ranma whined, tears brimming in his eyes.

Rita wiped a few tears away from Ranma's eyes. “Crocodile tears don't work on me, remember?”

Ranma sighed, his shoulders sagging. “I want my Morpher back, Rita. Do you know how annoying it is to have to change clothes every time you want to save the world?”

Rita grinned like a Cheshire cat. “Yes, Ranma, I do know how it feels to change clothes so you can save the world.” The sarcasm was so thick you could confuse it with custard.

“Hahaha,” Ranma remarked dryly. “I'll give you two months to give it back, or I'm gonna take it by force.”

“Ooo… You know I like it when you're rough,” Rita returned, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

Ranma smirked as he faded into air.

 

Ranma questioned, not for the first time, why he agreed to marry the Crown Princess of Jurai. It sure wasn't for the station; he had never wanted to be a man in the spotlight. He didn't think it was for love; that sure wasn't the case at the moment.

“Ranma tell this Barbarian to leave! You don't need some uncultured pirate trash to satisfy your carnal needs!” Ayeka demanded, eyes glaring daggers at Ryoko.

Ryoko crossed her arms under her bosom. “If you hadn't taken advantage of my Ranma, and gotten pregnant, he wouldn't even be willing to marry you, you snotty-nosed princess.”

Ranma and Hino-san were seated at the dining table, sipping tea, and ignoring the course language, promises of pain and high-pitched screams of feminine fury.

“So, are you really going to marry this space princess?”

“Have to,” Ranma returned, simple and clean.

“I see.” Hino-san nodded his head sagely.

“Jurai - heck, most of the galaxy - allows polygamous marriages. I won't say anything to Rei until after our Earth marriage is completed.”

Hino-san nodded, knowing very well how Rei would react to being a third wife, or even sharing her husband with anyone. “That.. would be best. But I do suggest you wrap up your affairs quickly, otherwise Rei will catch wind.”

“Yeah, I suppose you're right. Well, I'm going with Ayeka and Ryoko for the day, so I might as well get this marriage crap out of the way.”

“DIE, BITCH!” Ryoko screamed, a handful of purple lochs in her hand.

“LET ME GO, LOWBORN PEASANT!” Ayeka demanded, her legs around Ryoko's neck.

“Wow, I didn't know Ayeka was that flexible.” Ranma remarked, he and Hino-san tilting their necks to the side.

 

Ranma stood, lazily and without any hint of respect, before the emperor of Jurai. “So, pop-in-law, when do I get the Crown?” Ranma asked, pointing to the throne Azusa sat on.

“Why my sweet little girl would accept someone as obscene and brutish as you for her husband, I feel I will never know!” Emperor Azusa intoned, his disdain beyond any witnessed before.

Ranam shrugged. “Maybe I'm a better lay than any other guy?”

Azusa grit his teeth, trying his damdest not to strike the insolent boy down where he stands. “You will not speak so crudely in my presence.”

“Or what, Azusa-chan, you'll sic your wives on me?”

“I resent that!” Funaho barked. Misaki nodded in agreement with her sister-wife.

Ranma cast a leer at the two. “I mean no disrespect to two such lovely ladies. I just don't aim to give the man you both married any of my respect.”

“You would dare commit such an act of treason!” a guard shouted from the side of the throne. He raised his blade, his example being followed by all those within the room.

“I would dare to spit in the face of the corrupted Emperor of Jurai, knock him down from his pedestal and mount it myself. I would even take his wives as my own; but that's just the kind of guy I am.”

“Barbarian scum, you will be made an example of, for your acts of high-treason, heresy and blasphemy against the ruling family!” the guard shouted, he and the others encircling Ranma.

Ranma smirked and held his arms out, displaying the weapons once held by the encroaching soldiers. “You would be dead before you could tell what was coming.”

The guards swallowed at the growing lumps in their throats. Azusa growled low in his throat. “So you dare to commit an act of regicide? What do you hope to gain? The people of Jurai are loyal to me and will aim for your head.”

“Perhaps. I know!” Ranma exclaimed, snapping his fingers. “Why don't we put it to the test? You and your guards will take refuge as commoners and I'll pretend t have killed you and taken your wives as my own. If anyone kills me in a month,, than you'll get back your throne; I keep it if not.”

“Preposterous! His Excellency has earned his stature as Emperor of Jurai through hard work and dedication to his people, yet you mind to usurp his position?”
Ranma thought on what the babble of the guard meant, than nodded. “That I do. Well, it's either that, or I really do kill the Emperor, which would you prefer?”

Misaki nibbled on a thumb, trying to decide which would be a better fate for her husband. Either decision made left her and her sister-wife at Ranma's mercy, but if Azusa lived they had a slim chance of being reunited.

Azusa spoke his mind clearly. “Cheap Parlor tricks will not grant you my head, insolent boy! If you want my position of power you will have to pry it from my dead, decomposing fingers!”

Azusa leapt down at Ranma from his perch atop the dais. His plan was rather simple and well thought out. Get the drop on Ranma, slice him in half with a Jurai saber and be done with him.

How's that phrase go? “The best laid plans…”

Ranma withdrew his favorite weapon, a saber he acquired on one of his many, many adventures. Lightsaber met Jurai saber in brilliant flash of light. The room was bathed in a crimson-blue/green glow and all went silent.

 

Ayeka and Ryoko glared streaks of electricity at one another. Both were dressed like Juraian brides, wearing the exact same dress, with their hair done the same way. “I don't know why a boat like you would try to wear a wedding dress, you're only going to ruin it,” Ryoko commented, showing off her shapely figure to Ayeka.

“A boat?! At least my pregnancy is my excuse for being more round, what's yours, gorilla-girl?”

Ryoko's forehead sprouted a large vein. “You take that back!”

“Make me!” Ayeka challenged, nose-to-nose with the ex-space pirate.

“Whale-mama!”

“Watermelon figure!”

“Stuck up prissy-pants wearin' brownnoser! I don't know what Ranma could see in a spoilt brat like you!”

“Grrrr…” Ayeka's eye twitch was kicking on and looked to be becoming a real problem. “You.. You.. JERK!” Ayeka lunged at Ryoko but a pair of strong arms caught her mid-flight.

“Calm down, you two! What kind of day would our union be if my two wives killed each other?” Ranma asked.

Ayeka and Ryoko crossed their arms under their bosom and turned their backs to one another. “SHE STARTED IT! DID NOT! STOP COPYING ME!”

Ranma seated himself at the table and puffed at his pipe. “When you're done barking, I have some big news for you.”

That brought both up short, their gazes resting on Ranma's form.

“Big news? What's that?” Ryoko questioned.

“If you weren't such a barbarian, you would know to be silent so your husband can speak!” Ayeka threw at Ryoko.

“You know, for a woman who was taught to be so submissive, you sure got off on being in control over me,” Ryoko taunted, reenacting the screams from a month ago, aboard Ayeka's tree ship.

Ayeka blushed clear to her toes. “I was NOT getting off on it!”

“As I recall it, that was the night you got pregnant, Princess Prissy-pants.”

Ranma leaned back enjoying the play-by-play. “This is better than Cable.”

Sparks were already starting to fly, signaling Ranma's cue to intervene. “I think we should have that talk now.”

Ayeka relented appreciatively. It wasn't any fun to argue when someone wasn't arguing but teasing your sexual fantasies. Not that those were her sexual fantasies, or anything.

Ryoko draped her body languidly across Ranma. “So, big-guy, what's this news about?”

“As of today, I am now Emperor of Jurai. Your father.. stepped down, from his position and even gave me his wives as my own.”

Ayeka's jaw struck the ground. In all of her considerable years, she had never heard of an Emperor giving away his own wives when he abdicated the throne. “Daddy?”

Ranma coughed a couple of times into his fist, pushing aside the sensations welling in the pit of his stomach. “Misaki-chan, Funaho-chan, please come in here,” Ranma called.

From the doorway, Misaki, Ayeka's mother, and Funaho entered the room, both dressed in their formal attire. “Ayeka-chan!” Misaki called upon seeing her daughter.

Ayeka fidgeted for a few moments, gently waving on hand while staring her feet abashedly.

“Ayeka-chan!” Misaki called again.

Ayeka looked to Ryoko and Ranma. “If you value your lives, don't say anything about what you're about to see.” Both nodded dumbly, not expected such a serious threat from Ayeka. “Oka-sama!”

Misaki's eyes watered with unshed tears. “Ayeka-chan!”

“Oka-sama!” Both women charged at the other.

“Ayeka-chan!” Misaki grabbed her baby girl in a bone-crushing embrace.

“Oka-sama!” Ayeka crowed, dramatic tears dancing down her cheeks as she returned the embrace with equal fervor.

Ryoko couldn't prevent a snicker from escaping her lips.

“IS THERE SOMETHING FUNNY?” Misaki demanded of Ryoko, giving a dam-good impression of Soun Tendo's Demon head. Ryoko shook her head quickly, nearly breaking the sound barrier. “Oh, okay!” Misaki's countenance reverted to bubbly and sweet.

“This is Ryoko-chan, mommy. She's going to be my sister-wife.”

Misaki's eyes watered. “Ryoko-chan!”

Ryoko shook her head fervently.

“Ryoko-chan!”

Ryoko made a mad dash for the door, but was caught before she get more than a few steps away.

“OH Ryoko-chan!” Misaki's embrace caused a few cracking noises

Ranma hid in the cloak of the Umisenken. `Not for me, no way!'

“Now where did, Ranma-kun run off to?” Misaki asked, her eyes searching every shadow and feasible hiding place. When she couldn't find him and seated herself at the table, Ranma dropped his cloak. Quick as a whip, Misaki was latched around his neck. “Ranma-kun! I was so worried about you!”

Ranma sputtered and gasped for breath.

 

Ranma leaned on his elbows, looking into Rei's eyes as she ate her parfait. She's beautiful, Ranam thought.

“What?” Rei questioned, uneasily. “You only invited me here, and now you spend the entire time staring at me eating. What are you, some kind of pervert with an oral fixation?”

Ranma guffawed. “I love your sense of humor, Rei!”

Rei blushed bright red and froze like a deer in oncoming headlights.

Ranma leaned back and stretched his arms over his leather seat. “You're beautiful, you know that, Rei?”

“Quit trying to tease me,” Rei demanded, though her voice was soft and unsure of Ranma's motives. “You know, I wouldn't have minded being engaged with you, if you weren't always teasing me, flirting with other girls and forcing me into this relationship.”

Ranma released the breath he didn't know he was holding. “I guess you're right… I just can't help it, I need to have-“

Ranma was interrupted when an explosion signaled the destruction of one of the walls to the parlor. The cloud of dust billowed, hanging weightlessly in the air for untold moments. All the patrons in the ice-cream parlor found themselves holding their breaths, hoping against hope that it wasn't the start to a new round of monster attacks.

After a short eternity the smoke lifted, outlining the form of a Chinese Warrior Maiden. When the shadow solidified, long purple hair could be seen tracing the contours of the girl's upper body, her brass breastplate reflecting the light of the small shop inward.

Ranam held the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on.

“Ranma, you Shampoo kill!” The purple-haired, buxom Maiden challenged, aiming a Bonbori at Ranma.

“What did you do to her?!” Rei demanded, a fire growing in her eyes. Whatever it was that made the beautiful girl so angry was definitely Ranma's fault.

Ranma pulled out his wallet and paid for their meal, with a tip large enough to cover the damages to the wall. “Shampoo, Rei, let's get out of here.”

Shampoo's hard countenance cracked for a slim moment, a look akin to fear crossed her eyes. She nodded firmly and fell behind Ranma as he led the march from the building.

 

“Man, this sucks,” Ranma thought aloud, staring at the clouds overhead while he lead the two girls with him through the streets of Furinkan.

“What are you talking about, now?” Rei asked irritably. “You had better not be trying to take advantage of us, Ranma. I'm not into three ways, and I don't want to do any of that.. With you!”

Ranma couldn't resist a good laugh. “Is that why you followed me to a prefecture you've never been to before? And here I thought I would get lucky this time around,” Ranma trailed of with a badly whistled tune.

As they neared the Tendo Dojo, the group was treated to the sight of a long blue-haired girl running from the dojo with tears in her eyes.

Ranma raised an eyebrow. Rei gave a look to Ranma. “Is that where you're taking us?” At Ranma's nod, Rei dashed after the distraught young girl.

“Why new girlfriend run after strange, crying girl?” Shampoo asked, inquisitively.

Ranma gave the sexy maiden a sultry look. “If you watch over those two until they come back, your husband will give you a very special treat tonight, Shampoo.”

Shampoo flushed and nodded, taking to the rooftops after the two girls in the distance.

Ranma shook his head in annoyance and ventured into the training complex.

 

Ranam sat at the dining table, sipping his cup of green tea. “So, let me see if I got this right,” Ranma began, ignoring the three young women wrestling for a place at his side. “Natsumi-chan and Kurumi- chan finally found you; but your legitimate daughters rejected them. Akane even went so far as to challenged them for ownership of the inheritance?”

Soun nodded, wiping at the steady flow of tears, while he bawled about this and that and the other. He never really needed much to set him off, but at least this time it was something that was acceptable at best.

“If I were in your shoes, which I'm probably going to be (and very soon), then I'd let my kids work out their differences on their own. The best thing to do is to tell the truth.”

“B-b-But… OH, KIMIKO!” Soun sobbed, letting tears stream through the air.

Natsumi, Kasumi and Nabiki halted their struggle, pausing to look at Soun as he jabbered incoherent babble. “What did you say?” All three chorused.

Kurumi, smiling brightly translated the banter into understandable Japanese, even if she did use a cutesy dialect “He says, `Oh, Kimiko! How could I have known you had a twin sister that would sneak into my bed on occasion and have my illegitimate daughters. And who knew the Master would know them, and that they would both be better martial artists than my pride and joy, Akane-chan? Why can't my family just get along with each other?'”

“Wow, Kurumi, you've gotten really good at translation this shtick,” Ranma complimented, passing his gaze between the bawling Soun, the supportive panda and the translating young girl, who was developing quite a blush.

“Does that mean…?” Kurumi asked, her fingers pressing their ends together.

Ranma released an annoyed breath. “No, Kurumi, I'm still not going to sleep with you, you're still too young. Even I've got morals…”

Kurumi drooped, feeling the weight of rejection.

“So, you really are our sister?” Nabiki pressed.

“We told you that when we arrived here, yesterday. “ Natsumi interjected, emphasizing her point by use of a karaoke mic.

Kasumi disappeared into the kitchen, where she took up the method her mother taught for landing any man, cooking `til he run when the minister arrives. And she had a lot of cooking to get started on.

With Kasumi, the third wheel, gone, Natsumi and Nabiki took both of Ranma's sides, gripping his arms like pythons. Ranma looked down at both attractive girls on his two sides, wondering just how he was going to explain such a situation to Rei, should she choose that moment to arrive. He shuddered to think of how Akane and Shampoo would react…

“So, Ranma-baby, what brings you here to Furinkan?” Nabiki inquired, a gleam of lust flashing in her eyes.

“You wouldn't believe me if I told you!” Ranma exclaimed, wrapping his arms around the girls, as best he could with his arms being tied up like they were.

Nabiki shot a challenging look Natsumi's way and locked lips with Ranma, pushing her tongue through his parted lips.

Natsumi repressed the urge to growl and instead drooped a hand to Ranma's crotch, laying claim to the pride of the Saotome's. “Take me home with you tonight, Ranma.”

Ranma broke the kiss with Nabiki leaving the girl gasping and wondering how she had come so close to orgasm from just a kiss. “I can't. I only came by to pick something up for Shampoo and introduce you all to my fiancée, Rei Hino.”

The two young women halted their ministrations and pulled back, looking Ranma in the face, hoping to find a hint of joking in his eyes. “But why her? Is she a better martial artist than me?” Natsumi questioned, tears brimming in the corner of her eyes.

“Does she have a billion yen inheritance, or is she better at making money than me?” Nabiki pressed, hoping to find some insight to Ranma's psyche.

“Maybe she's a wonderful homemaker, and younger than me?” Kasumi hazarded, hoping that not to be the case, as she was already feeling like an old spinster before Ranma came to the Dojo the fist time.

Ranma raised a hand, bringing the questions to a halt and turning a glare at the fathers who had just gathered their breaths to berate Ranma's infidelity to Akane, his chosen fiancée. “Say it, and I'll break every bone in your body, then break the broken pieces.” It was fun watching the two old timers wilt. He focused his attention back on the gathered girls. “Originally, I just wanted to inherit a dojo, like our cousins the Masaki. Since then I've grown much closer to Rei, I've shown her parts of me that I wanted to remain secret from all.”

“But what about love/money/talent?” the three asked in unison, dividing to at the end to support their separate claims.

Ranma gave the women a warm smile. “If you all really want to be married to me, I'll give you your opportunity soon. But anyway, I wanted to invite you all to me and Rei's wedding next week. I've still got to go visit the Masaki Shrine tomorrow.”

A knock came from the front door. Ranma gestured for the others to remain seated and went to answer it. Kasumi protested for a few moments but eventually relented.

Ranam pulled the door inward and smiled at the man at the door. “Hello, kind sir, what can I do for you?”

The young man, wearing an all white hakama with a black bokken attached to his obi, stood with confidence, while arrogance rolled off the boy like Niagara Falls. His bangs fluttered softly in the gentle breeze of the afternoon wind. “Who dares, position himself within the safe abode of my fair Tigress?”

Ranma blinked a few times, wondering what the hell the boy just asked. “Huh?”

“Your name, knave!” the boy persisted, getting unsettled as he was forced to wait. When Ranma finally got the gist of the request and opened his mouth to speak, the youth saw his opportunity. “But is not proper for one to introduce himself first? Very well, I am the undefeated Rising Star of the High School Kendo world, The Blue Thunder of Nerima Ward's Martial Art gods… The Legendary White Flame of Furinkan High, Tatewaki Kuno, age 17.” A plume of white-hot flame erupted from the manhole in the center of the street, giving a great show for special effects.

Ranma ticked off the many names given by the boy on his fingers. “Blue Thunder… Rising Star… Wide Flower, was it…?”

“White Flame, foolish backwater trash,” Kuno corrected, remembering not to yell as it was undignified for one of his stature to display anger so openly.

Ranma shrugged and closed the door in Tatewaki's face. “My house, buddy, you wanna come in you better change your attitude,” Ranma called through the thin wooden door.

 

Tatewaki sputtered in impotent rage. “How dare that base fool close yon fair maiden's door in the face of the noble scion of House Kuno?” He ranted, as he walked alongside the drain. “He knows not who he sullies, HE KNOWS NOT!”

Akane waited for Tatewaki to turn the corner up the street before she came out, into the open. She and Rei had been hidden under a bridge, off the bank of the drain, talking with one another. The two found they could get along quite well when they spoke. Neither were aware of the woman cloaked in the forbidden technique of the Umisenken only a dozen feet away.

“It's clear now, Rei.” There was no way Akane was going to let that perverted psycho-freak, Kuno set his sights on Rei. In Akane's opinion, Rei already a fate worse than death, being engaged to a boy. She herself was technically engaged to Ranma, but she didn't consider it an engagement, so it didn't count, and that suited her just fine!

Rei dusted the backside of her blue, knee-length skirt, and followed behind Akane, both girls giggling at some unseen joke. “I'm glad I met you, Akane. It's nice to hang around others, especially when they're not telling lies about you behind your back.”

Akane's eyes narrowed. “The next time one of those pervert boys spreads rumors about you, you tell me and KA-POW! To da moon!“ Akane swore.

Rei smiled reverently at her friend, but inwardly she was growing concerned about her friend's sanity. No matter what thing Rei would say, the young tomboy would revert the negatives to boys being perverted. “I go to an all girls school, Akane. I don't see very many boys, except for Ranma and Grandpa, and they are perverts.”

Akane brandished a mallet from some unknown location on her person, causing Rei to do a double take, twice. “I've been using this mallet for Baka-Smashing since I met Ranma. I recently upgraded to Mallet-Sama Version 3.0,” Akane educated the girl, handing the old wooden mallet to Rei and pulled an iron-coated mallet from hammerspace with the markings, “Smash `Em `Til They Squish” along its handle.

Rei bigsweated; she was not willing to run the risk of asking the logic behind the phrase.

 

“OH HOHOHOHOHO!”

Ranma sported a growing sweatdrop. “What the heck was that?” he asked of the assembled girls. Akane and Rei had just arrived, Akane's two close friends, Sayuri and Yuka arriving about a minute before them.

Sayuri couldn't answer as her complete attention was focused on Ranma's chest, seeing as his shirt was slightly parted, exposing tight, coiled muscle, befitting a novice bodybuilder. Yuka was busy fawning over Akane, but making it appear to be light conversation. Rei had gone straight to the furo, needing to get cleaned up before she and Ranma considered leaving. Sitting on ground, at the bank of a drain was not a smart idea, Rei was just realizing. Kasumi was still building a mountain of food for Ranma in the kitchen, so she chose not to answer. Natsumi and Kurumi ignored Akane's glares and growing battle aura, but shrugged at the question, having just arrived in Furinkan the day before. That left only one person.

Nabiki buffed her fingernails and draped herself across the wooden floor, pretending to be reading a manga. “Oh, that would be Kurobane, Kodachi. The Black Rose of St. Hebereke All-Girl's School, stopping by to attack Akane before their rematch.”

Akane's attention snapped to when she heard the name, `Black Rose,' and gazed around the room. “If she leaves flower petals this time, I'm not cleaning them up!”

“Tough nookies, Akane-chan,” Nabiki replied. “I'm sure your friend, Yuka, wouldn't mind cleaning them for you. Would you, Yuka?” Only an idiot would not be able to pick up on the emphasis behind Nabiki's words.

Yuka flushed crimson, stammering, “I-I-I d-don't mind.. If you (swallow) want me to…”

Rei paled, feeling very uncomfortable as she sat between Akane and Ranma. “Ranma-kun,” she called. “Are you ready to go back to the shrine now?”

Akane's smile dropped. It was nice to have friends that helped you clean your room, but she liked Rei and didn't want her new friend to leave because her rival had arrived. “Rei-chan,” she didn't pick up the noticeable wince from the raven-haired girl. “Why don't you stay over tonight, we can send the men out on a training mission, and have all-girls slumber party!”

“Ooo, a slumber party sounds like fun!” Yuka broadcast, clutching onto Akane's arm dotingly. “I have been to one of those in ages.”

Rei cleared her throat and threw Ranma a `Help me, please!' look. “I don't think I can; I mean, I have a lot of responsibility to my friends, both in Minato Ward and Angel Grove.”

Ranma saw the girl drowning and threw her an anchor. “Don't be silly Rei, you spend a night away from the girls. Besides, I heard Usagi's going out with Mamoru tonight, Trini won't give me the time of day, Ami's with Billy working on some gizmo or another, and Makoto and Minako are double dating Jason and Zack. You're free tonight, and if any trouble does pop up, I'll handle it.”

Rei growled low in her throat and drove long stick pin, that she recently took to carrying when going anywhere with Ranma, to keep his eyes from wandering, into his thigh. “What was that about Trini, dear?”

Ranma winced, though t wasn't from the pain of the pin lodged in his leg. “Uh… Nothing?”

Rei's eyebrow ticked violently. “You had better not be planning to go girl-chasing tonight, Ranma, or we're gonna have a long talk tomorrow.”

Ranma was many things, but a complete idiot he was not. He knew that the `talk' in `talk' never meant to have a rational conversation; heck `talk' hardly consisted of conversations either when it came to him. “Uh… Heh, heh…” he rubbed at the back of his neck, hoping to wipe away the sweat before became visible.

 

“Why are you two old farts following me?” Ranma asked of the two fathers strolling down the street beside him.

Genma narrowed hi eyes at his good-for-nothing ingrate of a son. “We're here to keep an eye on you, and make certain you remain faithful to your fiancée.”

Ranma rubbed at his temples. “No, you're not going to do that.” This was the last thing he needed, two old fools who could prove themselves more foolish than the three stooges, and they were an act.

Genma puffed up his chest, and sent a silent message to Soun to stand tall. “Ranma, I am your father, and you will listen to me!”

“That's right, Ranma! If you're gonna marry my baby Akane, you had best to shape up, young man!” Soun added.

Ranma slammed his head repeatedly against a stone wall, shattering it like tin foil. “Why? Why? Why? Why?”