Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Future Shaped by the Past ❯ 7: Eight Hundred Years ( Chapter 8 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
A Future Shaped by the Past
Chapter 7: Eight Hundred Years
By: TruSuprise
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and all affiliated characters belong to Takeuchi Naoko. The views expressed herein are solely those of TruSuprise.
Yuri disclaimer: This fanfic involves love between two women. If you disapprove such a relationship, do not read further.
Summary: Through the memories of the outer senshi, it is discovered what happened at the end of one era and how it shaped each of them in the future to come.
* * *
“Tea?” Michiru's voice was hollow.
Setsuna nodded, her eyes unseeing as the steam from the hot water billowed from the cup before her. She had insisted she and Michiru discuss the remainder of the Silver Millennium some place more private.
Michiru's kitchen table provided an appropriate setting for Setsuna's need to reveal to the events after her death and before her subsequent rebirth. As the sun began to set in the western Tokyo sky, the two old friends sat quietly in the stiff, wooden seats. Both had hands clasped around untouched cups of tea, and both were lost to their own thoughts of the end of the Silver Millennium.
“So,” Michiru recoiled at the volume of her voice in the quiet apartment. “Are you telling me that because I died first, leaving Haruka alone, that her subconscious is afraid of losing me in this life too?” Michiru finally put her thoughts into words.
Setsuna sighed. Unfortunately, the many events that had warped Haruka's original personality just weren't that easily worded. “I'd say that loosing you is part of what scared her. Its certainly the main reason she changed so drastically after your death.”
Michiru's brows met in frustration, confusion weighing heavily on her. “But she's never even met me!”
“And you've never even met her and look how strongly you feel for her, having retained your memories of your past life, both good and bad.” Setsuna pointed out, finally taking a sip of her tea.
Michiru blushed and stuttered. “Are…are you implying that she remembers mostly bad memories?” Michiru met Setsuna's garnet eyes and sensed she had nit the nail on the head.
“Mostly the bad ones, yes.” Setsuna agreed.
“But how could she fear loosing me in this life when I already feel so damned strongly for her?” The aqua haired girl was startled at her own outburst, but did not turn defiant eyes from her companion.
“Like I said, your death is only one of the events that turned Haruka into a shell of who she once was.” Setsuna tried to explain, finding the complexities of the tale difficult to retell.
“Did she blame me for leaving her then?” Michiru guessed desperately, biting back a sob that threatened to escape from her throat. She needed answers.
“Initially, no. Though I fear her mind might have warped even that memory after it all… ended.” The garnet eyed woman responded cryptically as she swirled the cooling liquid in the teacup.
Grasping at straws, trying to connect the pieces of her ally's halting puzzle on her own, Michiru continued searching for clues. How could she help Haruka if she didn't even know what had gone wrong other than that she had had to witness her death? “Then, she didn't follow me in death?”
Silence stretched on for what Michiru imagined was an eternity.
“No. Not exactly.” Setsuna finally responded. She cursed her lack of tact. It had been far too long since she had consoled another. Michiru deserved more. Much more. And so she spurred herself forward. “Haruka wasn't so lucky to follow in your footsteps. Her battle had only just begun after you died. Her pain lasted much, much longer.”
Setsuna's heart broke to see the pained expression she had caused on her closest friend's face. Michiru was seconds away from a breakdown. She needed answers, answers that Setsuna felt incapable of delivering with the spoken word.
With a gentle sigh, the sapphire haired woman closed her eyes and reached for her ally's hand. Her memories would be able to speak louder than her words ever would.
Michiru gasped as Setsuna's memories flooded her.
<flashback>
Each muscle in her body spasmed and quivered, overloaded and in shock. Her wide hazel eyes looked down at her unmoving partner in disbelief. Her fingers couldn't feel a pulse but what was worse, her very heart felt a terrible disconnect from her lover's soul.
Michiru was dead.
Uranus shook her head, unbelieving. In the roar of the battle taking place around her, she heard only muted sounds as she stared dumbly at the broken beauty in her arms. This woman had shared with her the best of their years as friends and lovers. The thought of never hearing Michiru's signature giggle, never touching her sensuous curves or hearing the strings of her violin warm the room with her presence… it couldn't be true. Uranus simply couldn't imagine a future without her partner, couldn't come to terms with the fact that she had been left behind. Finally, her lover had gone to a world in which she couldn't follow.
Unless…
Gently, Uranus settled Neptune's body on the dusty ground at her feet. Tenderly, she brushed a loose strand of charred, aqua hair back from her forehead. She afforded her lover a small smile before leaning down to plant a soft kiss across her forehead.
“Soon.” She whispered.
Slowly, Uranus stood and turned to face the flood of humans who continued past them, a solid wall of brainwashed soldiers, unthinkingly following the one in front of him. The winds gathered around her form, her short blonde hair whipping frantically in the building storm as a cold, calculating grimace gripped her face. With a powerful recoil, Uranus thrust herself into the throng of humans, a soul shattering scream of agony piercing all other sound as she deftly wielded her blade, decapitating, slaying, amputating and dropping the humans by the handful. Her hazel eyes were clouded, raged, as unfeeling as the mannequin-like humans she slaughtered mercilessly.
Pluto, stunned, saw Uranus' distress cry and absolute recklessness for what it was. The grieving woman sought to follow her partner into death.
Shakily, the sapphire haired woman picked herself up off the bloodied ground. Her repeated attempts to call to her friend went unnoticed and so, as a last ditch effort, she slid behind her tall ally. Winded from dodging the blonde's erratic weapon and the spray of blood it left in its wake, the senshi of time managed to slide her arms around Uranus from behind. Finally, it took her full weight hanging off the senshi of the wind to slow Uranus down.
“Damnit, Haruka! Would Michiru have wanted this? Look at yourself!” Pluto panted heavily, biting back hot tears as Uranus finally stopped fighting.
Uranus' labored breathing slowed as she glanced down at her blood covered sword and once pristine fuku. With a metallic clatter, her blade fell to the ground next to several mutilated bodies. Her shaking hands found the sides of her face in anguish as the last of the unthinking humans finally marched apathetically past them. Devastated, the tall senshi dropped to her knees in despair.
Pluto flinched as screams of death and terror from the palace above her reached her ears, yet she steadied herself. Fate had predetermined this future, even if that future had curiously been rewritten only days prior. There was nothing she could do now to prevent the inevitable, nothing she was permitted to do given the confines of her duty. A large explosion sent pieces of the palace walls flying over their heads and the sapphire haired woman closed her eyes in anguish as she felt the souls of the inner senshi fade and die out one by one. She knew her Princess would be next and she bit her lip, willing the images in her head to disappear. She was powerless to change this future.
Instead, she focused on her last remaining friend. “Uranus?” Pluto's soft voice called to the torn, broken woman who trembled on her knees with her back to her.
Hearing her ally's voice, the sandy haired woman stopped shaking abruptly and slowly looked over her shoulder icily. Pluto gasped at the enraged eyes that stared back at her.
“You.” Uranus' deep voice, lower than a growl, pierced Pluto. “You knew this was going to happen! And you didn't do anything to stop it!” She suddenly shouted, spinning and finally rising into a threatening crouch to face her ally.
Pluto rose to the challenge, offended by the accusation. “No. You know nothing of the burden of my so-called gift to see the future, so don't presume that you do! I can't undo the past, goddamn it, and I can't change that which was decided. I didn't know that Neptune was going to die right in front of you, Uranus, so stop pitying yourself!”
The two warriors stared at each other primally. Surprisingly, Uranus was the first to falter. A heart wrenching sob shook her frame as the understanding of Pluto's words sunk in.
It was wrong of her to blame her friend, Setsuna, who had stood by her and Michiru's side, as a sister and as a mutual mother to their adopted daughter. She knew nothing of Pluto's duty to see the future other than one rule, that the laws of the Time Gate were absolute and final. Surely, Pluto was as powerless as she was to whatever future had been determined. Nothing could be done. Her partner was lost forever.
Her initial bravado and rage diminished from her anguish, Uranus found her desire to follow Neptune's footsteps by her own hand lessened. Slowly, she picked up her talisman by its jewel encrusted hilt and slid it across the bloodied ground to her ally. Pluto looked at the sword questioningly.
“Would you do me the honor? I've lost my will.” Uranus requested brokenly. A distant smile on her lips, she glanced towards the horizon. “Michiru always was the stronger of the two of us. I… I can't do this on my own.”
Pluto's eyes widened as she detected the shame in Uranus' avoidant hazel eyes that revealed the guilt she felt for not being as quick to throw herself into death's grasp as readily as her partner had. Never would she have imagined that the strong, brave senshi of the wind would ask someone to take her life. “Absolutely not, Uranus.”
Finally, the senshi of the wind's desperate hazel eyes met Pluto's troubled garnet ones. “Setsuna… please.” She begged.
Slowly, Pluto stood, Uranus' Space Sword in one hand as she offered her other hand to her friend on the ground. “Neptune… Michiru would be upset to hear such words from your mouth, such defeat. She died for you to live, not to throw her gift away. She would never want your death, Haruka. Never.”
A small chuckle left Uranus' lips, her eyes shielded by her blood encrusted bangs. Pluto's words were true, that, she couldn't deny. “But what does it matter? It's all over anyway.” She stated hopelessly, indicating the silent, broken Moon Palace above them. The battle had ended before they had barely blinked.
Pluto shook her head. “That's where you're wrong, Uranus. It's not over. We still have our duty to attend to.”
“Duty?” Uranus asked bitterly, a trace of anger resurfacing.
“We're still sworn to protect our Queen, and even then, to protect this solar system.” Pluto reminded her gently.
“My duty is nothing without Neptune by my side.” Uranus spat, her cold hazel eyes defiant as she stared down her ally.
Pluto frowned seriously, her grip tightening around her Time Staff as the metal weapon bit into the dusty ground at her feet. “You would become a traitor then?”
Uranus again hung her head. She knew the answer to that question. Although she had pledged her heart to her lover, she had long ago pledged her life to her Queen. Her existence was forfeit to her duty.
Pluto grabbed her friend's hand firmly and pulled Uranus to her feet. “Pull yourself together, Uranus.” The older woman said confidently. “Now, lets get to Queen Serenity. We haven't much time.”
The blonde woman nodded and finally fell into step behind her taller ally, all the while, her gaze lingering over her shoulder at her fallen partner.
* * *
“My Queen.” Pluto's desperate voice caught in her throat upon seeing Queen Serenity slumped over her throne, clutching her bleeding ribcage in pain. Even Uranus showed an amount of concern on her hardened face.
“My daughter… the inner senshi… all dead.” Serenity mumbled brokenly. Finally noticing the two outer senshi watching her, a sad smile crept across her face. “Pluto. Uranus. I'm… I'm so sorry.”
Pluto approached her sobbing Queen and laid a hand on her shoulder. There was once a time when the compassionate woman had done the same for her.
“It's all my fault!” Serenity cried.
Pluto righted the Queen of the Moon, helping her to sit straight to alleviate some of the stress of her injuries. “None of this is your fault, and you know that. Even I was powerless to see this twist of fate, this newly decided destiny.”
Serenity nodded her head in saddened comprehension. “But I can amend this injustice.” She said with renewed fervor. Loosely held in her grasp, a bright light glowed from her clasped fingers. The Ginzuishou. Pluto and Uranus gasped at the implication. Queen Serenity would sacrifice herself.
“With this, I will seal Metallia back to where she came. Then I'll bring them all back. When the time comes, all of our people will be reborn.” The Queen promised. Finally, her eyes trailed back to Uranus. “And when your time comes, Uranus, you'll be reborn along with her.”
“My Queen…” Uranus began, understanding her implication.
Serenity held up a shaky hand to silence her warrior. “In your next lives, you won't remember the pain you witnessed here today. I don't want any of you to remember this anguish.” She paused in thoughtful consideration and when she spoke again, her voice had quieted. “No. I don't think that's quite true. Michiru. She will remember you, Haruka. This, I am sure of.”
Uranus' lower lip trembled but she held herself together. “Anything to be with her again, my Queen.”
“It's only a lifetime away, my child.” Serenity said sweetly before doubling over in a coughing fit, flecks of blood staining her lips as she clutched her side tenderly.
Uranus' breath caught in her throat as she swallowed deeply to bite back a wave of painful emotion caused by her compassionate Queen. Though she and her lover had kept their relationship somewhat secret, Serenity had known. In that short exchange she shared with her Queen, Uranus was once again filled with the desire to protect the remains of her Queen's Kingdom, the remains of the home she had shared with her lover. She afforded Serenity a brief bow of her head in understanding.
The Queen again turned to Pluto, her eyes softening still. “Watch over her, Pluto. I'm counting on the two of you.”
“Serenity…” Pluto said breathlessly, concerned for her Queen.
“This is your time to say goodbye.” Serenity returned dismissively, her gaze hinting at Uranus as she brushed off Pluto's concern.
The scuffle of the Moon Queen's two feline retainers could be heard as they approached and suddenly, Luna and Artemis came bounding into the broken throne room, rushing to their injured monarch.
Silently, Pluto and Uranus took their cue to leave.
* * *
The senshi of time stood behind her friend as Uranus once again found herself kneeling at Neptune's side. It was time to say her goodbyes. The tall senshi pulled the smaller body back into hers and stifled a surprised whimper at the shock of her already cold skin. “Michiru.” She whispered, finally allowing a single tear to slide down her face. “I'm so sorry.”
Suddenly, Uranus sensed another presence in the silence of the impromptu battlefield and unconsciously, she pulled Neptune's body closer to her. When she finally looked up, she noticed Pluto's shocked eyes were locked on a figure only a few feet away.
“Hotaru.” Pluto and Uranus whispered in unison.
The black haired girl shook her head mechanically, her Silence Glaive alive with the glint of the fire that still burned in the night sky. “No. I am Sailor Saturn.” She said, her voice flat. Uranus recoiled at the image of her adopted daughter turned senshi of destruction. Pluto laid a calming hand on Uranus' shoulder at the shock.
“Don't pity me, Sailor Uranus, Sailor Pluto. This is my destiny. It is what I was born to do. But please, thank Setsuna-san, Haruka-san and Michiru-san.” The young girl bent slightly to bow to the deceased woman especially. “For they showed me what it was to love.”
Uranus nodded numbly as the alien girl's purple eyes turned cold again.
“But you'll have to leave now. The Queen has sealed Metallia and now it is my duty to destroy the planets of the Moon Kingdom so that those who once lived on them may again be reborn.” Saturn said. Suddenly, she noticed Uranus' grip on her partner tighten and once again, her dark, haunted eyes softened. “Don't worry, Haruka-papa. You'll be with Michiru-mama again.”
Uranus gasped in understanding and sadness, yet she found little solace in the peaceful expression of the forever aging child who was predestined to die for the sins of their solar system. Here, the young girl who was once her daughter was the one reassuring her in the face of her own death.
Finally succumbing to her duty and rewritten destiny, Uranus shed the last tear she allowed herself and released her lover's body gently to the ground before stepping back resignedly.
Pluto and Uranus bowed to Sailor Saturn as the young girl headed for the remains of the Moon Palace to fulfill her role.
* * *
The senshi of time and the senshi of wind hovered in the vastness of space, their eyes fixed on the clouds of dust left from the remains of the only homes they'd known. Now that Saturn had fulfilled her destiny, the Silver Millennium, one thousand years of peace and prosperity, had ended, leaving Pluto and Uranus the last remaining members of a dead civilization.
Pluto laid an exhausted arm on Uranus' shoulder. “Together, we'll protect what's left of our planets.”
“That's not what you meant to say.” The blonde said simply, her saddened eyes still lingering on the devastation of the kingdom on the Moon.
Pluto sighed resignedly. Almost as if Neptune had passed some of her intuitiveness to her partner, Haruka had hardened with partner's death. She knew it would be of no use trying to sugar coat their arrangements to her ally. “No. You're right. You will protect the solar system. I must return to the Time Gate.”
Uranus nodded apathetically. It didn't matter to her. Pluto was needed elsewhere. She would protect the solar system by herself. In the wake of the destruction that had ended the Silver Millennium, there wouldn't be much, if anything to defend against anyway. Uranus would honor her word and her duty but only in the broadest sense of it's binding, by its loosest interpretation, and in the meantime, she would wait for the day that would return her to Michiru.
Pluto glanced at her ally sadly. Haruka, for all intents and purposes, was dead. The woman's normally bright, happy eyes were dull and hooded. A tight, gaunt expression, wrinkles above her forehead and a perpetual frown had replaced her carefree smile and jovial expressions. Her love of life, her flippant attitude, all of it was gone. In the span of an hour, Uranus had become an empty shell of the woman Haruka once was, now driven solely by duty, the only thing she had left.
With her lover gone, her spirit had been broken. The cold, guarded woman in front of her was no longer Tenoh Haruka. She was now as distant as her name suggested.
</flashback>
Setsuna slowly removed her hand from Michiru's arm. The distraught woman needed a reprieve from the events that lived on in Pluto's memories.
“Setsuna…” Michiru whispered, her voice raspy, tears streaming slowly down her porcelain cheeks as though she had lived through Uranus' pain herself. The senshi of the wind had lived through the death of her lover. She had lived through the loss of her friends and Queen. She had witnessed the tragic sacrifice of her own daughter. She had lost her own homeworld, the people she had sworn to give her life for. And now that the threat was gone, along with all she had loved with it, Uranus had faced a grim and lonely life ahead of her, a life devoid of anything to care for. And she couldn't even give that life away, as that very thing bound her to the solar system.
The sapphire haired woman looked away, unable to meet Michiru's piercing gaze. She would not lie to her friend. She couldn't. “I wanted to watch over her, even though she knew I had to return to the Time Gate. Over the next eight hundred years I tried to-”
“Eight hundred years?” Michiru interrupted in disbelief.
“Yes.” Setsuna replied matter of factly. “It was that period of waiting that completely damaged Haruka's psyche.”
“Damaged her psyche?” Michiru asked almost bitterly, a dangerous edge to her voice. “Damnit, Pluto, how can you be so cold?”
Setsuna winced at her friend's formal address and when she finally met Michiru's icy eyes, her own couldn't hold back the hot tears that welled there. “I was scared.” She whispered. “I was hurt. Haruka and yourself had taught me much about friendship, but I'd never dealt with those feelings before!”
Michiru's eyes widened at Setsuna's unpredictable outburst. All she could do was extend a supportive hand to her friend's own as quiet sobs wracked the Guardian of Time's frame.
“I let Haruka… Uranus, rot out there for most of those eight hundred years! My duty barred me from leaving my post due to the newly changed future. But I did leave, on several occasions, even if only under the pretense of helping her in the few sporadic battles she encountered! I tried to be there for her. Oh God, Michiru, I tried so hard, but I couldn't help her. She was beyond help. She was…”
Michiru stood and slid her chair next to Setsuna to wrap her arms consolingly around her shoulders. Even through the terrible memories that Setsuna had showed her, Michiru had never seen such emotion from her stoic ally, and the distraught vibes she sensed from the garnet eyed woman rocked her to the core. Suddenly, Michiru understood how difficult the events she had witnessed were not only for Uranus, but for Pluto, too. Pluto, who had always carried the heavy responsibility of the future on her shoulders.
“Shhh.” Michiru eased supportively. “It's not your fault, Setsuna. It's not your fault.”
“I'm sorry, Michiru, I'm so sorry.” Setsuna whispered, finally calming slightly as the tears stopped flowing. She finally found the courage to meet Michiru's understanding cobalt gaze. It was time for Michiru to know what had happened to the love of her past life. It was time to answer Michiru's final unanswered question.
Setsuna reached towards Michiru once more. “Are you ready?”
Michiru nodded.
<flashback>
Moment by moment Uranus wished for an enemy strong enough to defeat her, she wished for her loneliness to deteriorate her mind to the point of unfeeling, she wished for her heart to simply stop beating… after all, it had already been broken by suffering an unspeakable loss. But none of these wishes had ever been granted. The never ending days in space merged together and she couldn't tell if the eight hundred years she'd spent guarding the remains of the fallen Moon Kingdom and the solar system it once presided over had really felt that long, or, if it had felt longer.
In recent years, the solar system had finally mended itself. While the Earth had always remained habitable as the humans picked up the pieces of their broken civilization, the other eight planets had finally just settled in Sailor Saturn's wake, their atmospheres, though no longer fit for humanoid life, had once again returned. Not that Uranus had visited any of them. The broken remains of her dead civilization didn't interest her. Instead, she spent her time on remote outposts on the fringes of the solar system, wandering the vastness of space.
Uranus found herself bored. She itched for a good fight and it had been more than a century since her last worthwhile battle. Even then, that had simply been a case of two lost aliens in an ailing ship searching for help. She hadn't cared. She didn't care who it was or why it was there, if it invaded her solar system, she'd kill it.
And that was all the senshi of the wind had left, sporadic battles and avoiding any traces of her past, the pain of what she'd lost being too great to remember. In her centuries of loneliness, she had had no visitors, save a strange woman in a green fuku similar to her own who spoke to her with an air of familiarity. The tall, garnet eyed woman had tried to help her in battle on several occasions, but the bitter Uranus had always refused her help, always preferring her solitude, much to the strange woman's irritation.
Uranus' memories were disintegrating, and the centuries that ticked by without the promise of rebirth being fulfilled choked her with an empty rage.
A beep on the console before her alerted Uranus to an alien presence entering her territory. A distorted grin gripped Uranus' lips and in a flash, she had called her talisman to her and bolted for the door.
* * *
It was on a rocky outcropping of an asteroid in the belt between Mars and Jupiter that she found them. How they had even slipped past her defenses, Uranus couldn't tell. She hid behind the cliff face as she considered the three alien creatures. They were large and particularly nasty looking. Their blocky bodies were covered by thick, brown skin and their squared off heads with black manes of long hair that grew between long, pointy ears were indicative that they were a mercenary race. Uranus shrugged. It didn't matter who they were or how strong they were. They were in her solar system and so deserved to die.
Strategy and caution were both thrown to the wind as the blonde simply charged ahead unthinkingly, her blade swinging, her own voice in her ears as she shouted unintelligibly.
Startled, the creatures rose to the challenge, and surprised to see the gaunt, slim frame of a humanoid woman in full battle cry, they figured she was no threat. That was their first mistake.
Uranus took out the first one she came across, her Space Sword slicing cleanly through his waist effortlessly. Her grin widened when his friends screamed in rage as his blood coated the rocky ground and sizzled in the fire they had built.
They were large and their forms unwieldy, but they were also surprisingly fast and agile, matching the speed of the senshi of the wind effortlessly. Uranus was caught off guard as she suddenly found herself caught between the two aliens with laser rifles pointing at either side of her.
Unceremoniously, and without a common language to speak useless words, Uranus had been caught.
The sounds of the simultaneous rifle charges echoed in her ears and with a soft, almost thankful smile, Uranus knew she had met her end. But suddenly, she clenched her fists. She refused to go down alone.
“World Shaking!”
Uranus' palms crashed against the ground at her feet, and as both lasers tore straight through her middle, her own destructive energy reached out and engulfed her attackers in a blinding rush.
The aliens were dead before they hit the ground, but as Haruka felt warm, coppery blood spill from her mouth, she realized that she hadn't been so lucky. She knelt on the jagged, rocky surface of the asteroid, her hands closing over the gaping hole in her stomach, but the blood continued to seep over her hands and through her back regardless.
The warmth of her own blood spilling from her body brought a gruesome smile to her face. “Finally.” She whispered, her voice hoarse from centuries of misuse.
She initially ignored the apparition of the strange, sapphire haired woman standing before her, thinking it to merely be her delirious mind, but when the woman knelt to the ground with her, crying, she realized she had seen her before. Had she not pushed this nameless woman away several times centuries ago?
“Haruka…” The voice, somehow familiar, called.
Uranus' brow furrowed in concentration. Haruka? Where had she heard that name before?
The garnet eyed woman looked down at her old friend, a wave of guilt washing over her. “You may be past the point of comprehending me.” She said haltingly. The words were obviously hard for her to say, yet she forced herself forward.
“I regret I couldn't be there for you more in these past centuries, Haruka, and I'm sorry you have to suffer this pain. But… I know this is what you wanted, so I didn't interfere. Queen Beryl's forces are amassing again, and even if your help won't be needed in that fight, surely it'll be needed in the future, and so the time of your rebirth draws near. Uranus, can you hear me?” Pluto shook her friend's shoulders gently.
Rebirth. That triggered a long dead synapse in Uranus' exhausted mind and she squeezed the woman's hand weakly. Pluto sighed softly as she bit back tears, saddened by the image of her delirious and dying friend.
“I promise in your next lifetime you won't suffer so badly.” Pluto said confidently as she smiled sadly at her dying friend. “It'll still be difficult for you, but Michiru will be there to help you… once you learn to let her in. Do you understand, Uranus? The pain you've experienced at the end of this life will be your biggest obstacle in the next.”
Uranus was too far gone to comprehend or even hear the strangely familiar woman's words and as the image of an aqua haired woman took the place of her fading eyesight, a pained smile crossed her lips. She recognized this cobalt eyed woman from long, long ago, didn't she? Michiru, Neptune, those had been her names. They had been passionate lovers and fierce partners. Some of the long suppressed memories trapped in the recesses of Uranus' mind resurfaced.
Yet for all the pleasant emotions that came with Michiru and Neptune, her lover and partner was also associated with an intense pain of guilt, longing and sadness. This selfless woman had died for Uranus while Uranus had spent the past eight hundred years wanting to throw that life away. Michiru would have been disappointed and hurt once she'd realized what had become of her lover.
`You wouldn't even recognize me now, Michiru.' She thought longingly to the beautiful apparition. `Time and loss have changed me greatly. I've… I've become a shell of who Haruka once was. I'm no longer the woman you knew and loved. I'm sorry but I… I don't think you'll want me anymore.'
`Michiru?'
Already her mind was beginning to distort her memories, and in her exhausted and distorted mind's eye, the woman who had been her lover had agreed with her emotions of guilt and self hate. The apparition before her faded slightly, and slowly, Michiru turned icy cobalt eyes away from her before turning around to retreat into the mists.
Uranus watched her go. She had been right, she didn't deserve Michiru. It was a sign, she decided, even if her own mind had imagined such a denial.
Her guilt and resignation leading her, Uranus shut her eyes, no longer feeling her body, and began to block the aqua haired woman from her mind, closing off the memories of she who represented love and loss, friendship and duty. Her mind distorted the image of her lover, forgetting Michiru's softness and love and replacing it with Neptune's cold fierceness and dedication to duty. Her mind systematically erected barrier after barrier, burying the importance of her love for Michiru, knowing that in her next life, memories of her lover would only remind her of how empty she had become without her partner.
With the thought of her imminent rebirth fueling her, Uranus' mind built walls around her heart in a fierce determination to keep everyone at arm's length, for if she didn't let anyone close to her, how could she ever be hurt again as she had in this life? She pushed away her dedication to duty, for certainly, duty was what had destroyed her happiness once already.
With these defenses in place, even if she would again be a hollow shell in her next life as she had become at the end of this one, at least she could spare herself the pain of reliving such a loss again. She knew she'd need the same tough defenses to live a life without her soulmate. A soulmate she didn't deserve.
As the darkness around Uranus intensified and she sensed that she had breathed her last, Uranus almost chuckled as she asked herself, `But could I ever really forget her?'
Finally, her pain ended as the blackness claimed her.
</flashback>
Silent sobs wracked Michiru's body as Pluto's memories retracted from her mind. This time it was Setsuna who had wrapped her arms around her shoulders in condolence. Eight hundred years. Her lover had spent eight hundred years wandering the emptiness of space, forgetting everything she loved and everything she was.
The pain of what she had lost had consumed her.
Michiru felt a wave of guilt wash over her. She suddenly wished it were she who had taken on that terrible burden…
“No.” Setsuna said quietly, causing Michiru to jump slightly in her arms, having caught her off guard with her own sense of intuition. “Don't blame yourself. It won't get you anywhere.”
“I know, but…” Tears came to Michiru's eyes once again as she replayed Setsuna's memories. “Just like Uranus approached me in my dream, I approached her at her death, didn't I? I think I was there to greet her.”
“Its highly probable.” Setsuna agreed, slipping back into her more stoic nature. “You must have sensed her death and gone to meet her. Only you didn't know what she'd been through, what her mind had done to itself during eight hundred years of anguish and solitude. So although you approached her, her mind distorted your image.”
“So then, since Uranus approached me in a dream this life, then that means that Haruka's real personality is still there, locked away at the bottom of her soul, right?” Michiru asked confidently, her recent revelations aiding in the conclusion she had come to days before.
Setsuna cocked an eyebrow suspiciously. “In theory… yes.” She examined her old friend carefully, realizing that Michiru's intuitiveness had helped the young woman to realize that buried underneath the harsh exterior and unhappy nature of the present day Haruka, lay the frightened, suppressed, true personality of her partner. And it was Michiru's compassion, Michiru's love for Haruka, that urged her to help Haruka see who she really is, that unbeknownst to herself, Haruka herself had been waiting for Michiru to break those barriers so she could join Michiru. Perhaps, she had known all along…
The senshi of the ocean's brows were furrowed, her mind already working on a plan. Sure, she was upset that their happiness was taken from them at the end of the Silver Millennium. She was upset that her lover had had to endure eight hundred years of solitude, only to end up losing her Self and distorting her destiny in the process. But she'd be damned if she'd let that destiny that Haruka's fear had created keep them apart. Michiru knew that they were better off together, their physical and mental unity had shown her that. And even if she had to defy the future itself, she'd find some way to ease the pain inside of Haruka's heart.
“Well then,” Michiru began, a glint of light shining in her cobalt eyes, color returning to her pale, tear stained cheeks. “That just means that all I have to do is find out how to bring her out of her shell, how to break down the barriers she erected before her death.”
A small smile touched Setsuna's lips. Michiru never was one to be defeated, another parallel from the aqua haired woman's past life. “If anyone can do it, Michiru, it's you.” Setsuna finally responded, a ghost of a laugh in her voice.
Michiru looked up at her companion with a surprised expression. “But I thought you didn't want me to approach her yet? Does that mean that-”
Setsuna leant her friend a scolding expression. “I never said it was going to be easy, no matter when you try to approach her. You know how stubborn she is.”
Michiru smiled mischievously. “I do.”
Setsuna rolled her eyes at Michiru's implication. She didn't want to know. From now on, Uranus' awakening was in Michiru's hands. Michiru had proved to her that she was ready to take on the challenge of approaching the changed Haruka. She was armed with the history of what had warped her lover, and she was defended by her own perseverance and love for the other woman. Michiru couldn't change the past, but she could change the future. “Then, when the times come, you'll know what to do. I have faith in you, Michiru.”
Michiru looked back at her friend with determination in her cobalt eyes. “I've waited eight hundred years to find her again. I'm not giving up now.”
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Author's Notes:
As always, thanks to my awesome beta and KS, YoukaiMusashi.
Thanks also to each and every reader who has reviewed! Your continued support is always welcomed, so please review!
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Preview, Chapter 8:
Although her confident expression managed to remain non pulsed, Haruka swallowed audibly, her breath catching in her throat, her heart beating wildly in her chest. The howling wind that had filled her ears for weeks suddenly ceased. A blessed silence heralded by a petite girl with an astounding beauty, she moved fluidly through the crowds with inherent grace and quiet sophistication. The girl's shoulder length aqua hair and piercing cobalt eyes were a beacon that Haruka couldn't ignore. In any lifetime.
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