Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Simple Christmas Wish ❯ Forgetting Usako.. Is It Possible? ( Chapter 6 )

Author's Notes:

Hi there readers! How's everyone? Good, I hope! I have exciting news… well, not really. I decide to continue this fanfic, and I'm going make sure it ends happily! ^_^ *Shudder* School (a.k.a. hell) has begun. ~_~ That's my excuse for not updating. I'm sorry and if you have any complaints, blame my teachers! (Points an accusing finger)…hehe… I still can't believe I got FOUR major projects due... on the first week of school!!!!!! Grr… Does anyone else hate school as much as I do? Oh, and if any readers are teachers, gomen! I'm not upset with ALL of them… just mine. ^_^ As for this chapter, I really hope you enjoy it. I stopped working on my homework to write this. Yay! To everyone who reviewed or took the time to e - mail, thank - you!!! Really appreciate it! Some of you mentioned that the last chapter was quite sad… and I completely agree. This one is mostly like that too. So, advance apologizes to everyone! Well, that's it for now. So, on with the story….

***Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sailormoon characters in this story. ***

"A Simple Christmas Wish" - Chapter 6

Days and nights come and go. I, being in the state of depression took no notice. Christmas… the wonderful holiday of the year was approaching fast. In less than a week, everyone would be cheerful and enchanted by holiday activities, spending time with their friends and family. Everyone that is, expect me. I still haven't forgotten the afternoon at the arcade. How could I? It was the day, when my heart had been shattered. The funny thing is, my heart had been broken a second time then, when I promised myself I wouldn't let that happen again. Oh the irony. All those years at the orphanage, being alone without anyone or love, caused me great pain. I never thought anything else could bring such pain into my life again. I was wrong. Who would have thought love could bring enormous throbbing? Or, was I the only person with the misfortune to never experience love?

As of right now, I'm standing bare footed on my balcony floor. The temperature outside is beyond freezing, but it could never compare to the cold and bitterness of my heart. In my hand, the grip on the cup of coffee tightens. The plain black coffee has long turned cold. I, of course wasn't paying attention to the cold liquid, as I kept drinking it occasionally. My feet are numb, but I really don't care. I'm staring out into the city of Tokyo. I'm supposing, one could say I was seeing the impossible. Or at least trying to. Why, you ask? The reason is quite simple actually. I'm trying to see nothing. I want to forget about my life… my aching heart… my Usako. It appears, I shall never forget about her though, but I'm trying. I have to try. Why still love someone who despises you? Why still love someone, who finds you nothing more than a thorn on their side? Forgetting about the pain is much easier, than realizing the truth…

Suddenly, I pound my fist against the metal railing of the balcony. Again and again. Over and over. I needed to take my frustration and anger out on something. The forgotten cup shatters onto the floor with a piercing sound. The remains of my coffee soundlessly spread over in a large brown puddle underneath my feet. I of course, didn't take notice. It appears I hardly take notice of anything nowadays. Why should I though? I lost my purpose to live. God, Mamoru! Get a hold of yourself! This is not the end of the world! She's just a GIRL! Even as I remind myself, I still can't manage to get my heart to agree…

Red. My left hand's covered with blood. I hadn't been looking, where I pounded my fist against on the railing. There had obviously been some ice. Reluctantly, I turn around and head into my apartment. My hand was stinging, but my expression and feeling stay blank. Opening the medicine cabinet inside my bathroom, I tend to my wounds. My trained hands seemingly do the job on their own. My eyes wonder to the mirror in front of me, after my wound had been tended to. A man I didn't recognize, stared back at me with a pained expression. A man with messy midnight black hair, blood - shot red puffy eyes, unshaved face with wrinkled clothing stood in front of the mirror. The same man who had been a fool and fell in love. The man who I now loathe to stare at. Deciding I wasn't going to be him anymore, I started doing what I should have done a few days ago… Forgetting Usagi. My heart cries out, at the usage of Usagi and not Usako. This was all for the best… isn't it?

Reappearing from my room, I wasn't feeling any better, as I did before I "cleaned" myself. Although, I knew for sure my appearance had tremendously improved from earlier, I felt the need to leave my apartment…. badly. The park… it was my favourite places in all of Tokyo. It always held a serene atmosphere. Maybe that's the reason I visit often. Whatever the reason, I grab my jacket and exit my apartment. Otherwise known as my solitude. Today was the first time I left the "safety" of my apartment after the incident that day. I managed to get Andrew worried, but it wasn't entirely my fault. I felt the need to be alone. I still owed him an explanation though. I decided I would visit the arcade after the park. I quickly reach the entrance of Tokyo Central Park. On instinct, my legs lead me to my favourite area of the park. The rose garden. Even though there were no roses, since it was winter, I still find myself walking towards it.

Eventually, I reach familiar surroundings. It had to be the most beautiful spot in Tokyo, to watch the sunset. Hues of different colours dance in the sky as I kept walking around. Suddenly, I dumped into something… or in this case, someone. The same person I wanted to avoid….

- To be continued…

Author's Notes:

Hi again! So? How was it? Did it suck? Or was it magnificent? ...hehe… Please REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! You can e - mail (deeps316@hotmail) me too. ^_^ Was that too sad? I hope not. The future chapters with get better though. I would tell you what I mean, but I don't want to give any of it away. ~_~ As for updates, I'll do them soon as I can. Since school started, all my spare time is gone. That's why I came up with a plan! It may not be the BEST one, but it'll help me complete my fanfics… hopefully.

Important Notice To Readers Who (are generous enough to) Read Other Fanfics Of Mine:

I know, I really haven't been doing a great job of updating stories like "The Lord' or "She!"… but don't worry, I WILL somehow complete them. All of them. I decided, that I'm going to finish one story at a time (unless I get writer's block). So, after this fanfic is complete, I will start working on… well, that's where the problem lies. I have no clue which story everyone wants me to complete first. So…. Please send an e - mail stating what I should. Oh, here are the names of them…

- The Lord

- She!

- Altered Lifestyle

- Life in Tokyo for an Orphan

- Forced Marriage

Thanks everyone!

Take Care,

deeps