Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Bishounen no Mori ❯ The Final Showdown with DiC! We Love Bishounen! ( Chapter 10 )

*Ahem* Well, here it is, the last episode! Hope everyone had fun reading! I know I have ^o^

Disclaimer: Errr, uhh, what? You mean these characters aren't mine? Aww, man. I was convinced they were. But actually, they belong to the talented Takeuchi Naoko. This fic will cost you nothing...except your soul! MWAHAHAHAHA!! Err, I mean, this fic is not for profit...send me money only if you're nice ^_^ All the meanies who don't...heh heh, we have our ways of dealing with you, and your little dog, too! OHHHH ho ho hohohohohohoh!! (Please forgive the nonsense of this disclaimer -_-;;)

Completed: 5/22/99 (One day after my 16th birthday ^_^) (Last revision: 2001.09.23)* * * * * * * * * *

Bishounen no Mori

Episode 10: The Final Showdown With DiC! We love Bishounen!

Written By: *Sigh* it's the final episode and you don't even know my name yet? Oh, treble woe! Err, I mean--Written By: Sailorspazz* * * * * * * * * *

(Various scenes of our bishounen are shown...)

In Europe, Jadeite is disappointed at the lack of hentai films that were usually so abundant. When he can't even find one girl willing to sleep with him (Hey, he's been frozen for a long time...the only offer he's gotten so far is from Fish Eye...and one of my friends...and the Senshi o_O;;), he gets mad and starts draining energy and stealing lemonade...then he remembers that's why he was in Europe in the first place o_O;;

In South America, Nephrite frantically looks around for any kind of alcohol...when he finds none, he finally starts his job ^_^;;

In North America, Zoisite is dazzled by the number of stores...however, after discovering that they sell nothing but lemonade and lemonade by-products (o_O;; What exactly would those be, anyway?) he gets mad and goes into a energy-draining lemonade-transporting fit.

In Africa, Tiger's Eye finds himself in a jungle. He finds some...tigers o_O;; After some severe questioning, Tiger's Eye is nearly torn to shreds and discovers that the tigers don't have any lemonade...he decides going to a city will be safer ^_^;;

In Australia, Fish Eye ends up in a vast desert. After being kicked in the head by a kangaroo, he, like Tiger's Eye, decides he will have better luck finding lemonade in a city.

In Antarctica, Hawk's Eye discovers that the yellow snow is not lemonade o_O;; Quickly scanning the place, he decides that there is no lemonade on the ice continent. He joins Kunzite in Asia. He finds him kicking over a lemonade stand. Kunzite looks up and sees him.

"Oh, hello. Anything in Antarctica?"

"Nope. That's why I'm back to help." A little girl with a puppy (Aurgh, it's Endless Waltz all over again!) and a bunch of boxes walks up to Hawk's Eye, blinking her wide eyes innocently.

"Hello, mithter," she says with a lisp, "Would you like to buy thome lemonade cookieth? It'th to thupport our thcool."

Hawk's Eye screams in horror, quickly transporting the boxes of cookieth...err, cookies to Elysion. "Geez, that much sugar was rotting my brain...for a company that wants to censor everything, DiC is really playing dirty."

"That's why we need to beat them as quickly as possible." Kunzite transports an entire lemonade store to Elysion.

"Right." They continue draining and transporting until the continent has been sucked dry. Soon, the others return after finishing their continents. Zoisite immediately glomps onto Kunzite.

"Oh, Kunzite-sama, it was awful! I couldn't do any shopping because there was nothing but lemonade!" he wails. He gives Kunzite a innocent-yet-very-suggestive look. "I could use some comforting."

Kunzite leers back, but then thinks for a second. "Well, I'd love to, but first we have to get rid of DiC. Then we can have a celebration that will shake the house."

The others look slightly ill. "I knew we should have updated the structure of our house to handle earthquakes..." Hawk's Eye says. "Did you guys manage to get rid of all of the lemonade?"

"Yeah, and I think I also found the answer to the question 'where have all the cowboys gone?'" Nephrite says, causing the others to sweatdrop.

Jadeite suddenly gets an idea. "Hey, what if while we're fighting DiC they try to get back the lemonade we transported to Elysion?" The others think for a minute.

"Well, I guess we could put up a dimensional barrier between here and Elysion to make sure that DiC won't be able to get back that...that...poison!" Zoisite says.

"Good idea," Kunzite says, patting Zoisite on the...head. He leers at Zoisite again. "I'll have to reward you later."

The others roll their eyes, thinking, 'Is that all those two ever think about?' Out loud, Hawk's Eye says, "Yes, good idea. Now come on, let's all work together." All seven bishounen stand close together (Kyaaaa!!! *Spazz passes out from kawaii-overload*) and concentrate. Electricity crackles, dark portals open, (Insert lengthy description of dramatic looking scene here) blah blah, etc. etc. Soon, all the darkness 'n' stuff disappears and the bishounen know that they have put up a block...how do they know? 'Cause I said so, dag nabit.

"Well, anyway, now we have to face DiC," Tiger's Eye says with a grim expression, being unusually serious (Must be the after-effects of the dramatic looking scene...wonder how long it will last). "Quick, to the Batmobile!" (Oh, I see ^_^;; Apparently not very long).

Other bishounen: o_O;; ?? *pika pika*

"Uhh, I mean to the Tokyo Tower. That's where DiC is hiding."

"Tokyo Tower?" Fish Eye says. "Uh oh, have we gotten ourselves into a CLAMP story? I'm too pretty to die!"

"Ha, not as pretty as me," Zoisite says, flipping his long golden hair over his shoulder.

Fish Eye turns around. "Nanii~~~~iiii?!?!" They growl at each other with electricity crackling through their glares.

Kunzite rolls his eyes. "Not again..." He quickly grabs Zoisite around the waist and pulls him away from Fish Eye. "Come on, honey. You can fight later. Right now, we have a job to do."

Zoisite 'hmphs' and quickly sticks his tongue out at Fish Eye. "Beee~~~~~eee da!"

Fish Eye returns the favor. "Beeee~~~~~eee da!"

The others sweatdrop and try to get Fish Eye and Zoisite as far away from each other as possible. They finally get an opportunity to teleport to the Tokyo Tower (*Gasp* They got in without paying admission! Unfair... :P). It's completely dark inside.

"All right, DiC, show yourself!" Jadeite says. "It's your fault that everyone is so pure and good right now and no girls will sleep with me!"

"I'll sleep with you!" Fish Eye says, groping around for Jadeite in the dark.

"Aaaauuuuurrrggh!"

A low chuckle is heard. In traditional anime style, a spotlight appears behind a throne across the room. All that can be seen is the outline of the throne with two shadowed figures standing on either side of it. "Ah, welcome, my dear bishounen." The shadow disappears and in the throne is (duh) DiC-Seiya and standing on either side are Taiki and Yaten. "I've been waiting for you."

The bishounen look puzzled. "Why would you be waiting for us if you know we're here to kick your ass?" Zoisite asks.

DiC-Seiya blinks. "Uhh, what?" he says intelligently. "You mean, you guys aren't brainwashed yet? How is that possible? The lemonade's effects should set in immediately!"

The bishounen blink. "Uhh, were you paying attention to what we were doing while you've been up here in the Tokyo Tower?" Hawk's Eye asks.

"What you were doing...?" DiC-Seiya flips on a switch to one of those big screen TV's that villains always seem to have for plotting evil stuff/watching what the good guys are doing/etc. He looks at the screen. "The lemonade! It's all gone! What did you guys do with the lemonade?"

The bishounen sweatdrop. This is the big scary villain they were afraid to fight? "Uhh, if you didn't think we were going to fight you, why were you waiting for us?" Hawk's Eye asks.

"Well, I was hoping that you guys would come up here brainwashed by the lemonade and we could discuss more ways to keep the human population under control...but since things didn't quite go that way, now I have no choice but to destroy you all!"

"All right, this is what we've been waiting for!" Zoisite says, rolling up his sleeves. The rest of the bishounen also prepare themselves for battle. Zoisite tries to blast DiC-Seiya with sakura.

"Hn. That's useless." A shield of some sort appears around him and absorbs the attack.

"What's that smell...it's familiar." Tiger's Eye sniffs the air. "It smells like lemon."

"Lemon?" Kunzite and Zoisite's ears perk up. "This is now a lemon fan-fic? Does that mean we get to celebrate now?" Zoisite already has Kunzite's shirt half off.

"NO!" Nephrite yells, having seen enough of Kunzite and Zoisite naked during his days in the Dark Kingdom...he had learned from them that it's important to always knock before entering a room...especially if the walls are shaking o_O;; "It means that..." Nephrite pauses dramatically...then scratches his head. "Uhh, what does it mean?" The others fall down.

DiC-Seiya chuckles. "It means that the lemonade I drank earlier today is still effecting me. Mwahahahaha!" The others sweatdrop...after all, even being controlled by DiC, Seiya trying to laugh evilly is a pretty pathetic sight.

"Well, anyway, let's keep blasting that shield. The lemonade is bound to wear off sometime," Hawk's Eye says. So, obviously, the bishounen continue blasting the shield with various forms of energy. Tiger's Eye even uses his whip a bit. Fish Eye tries to throw some knives...and only ends up breaking a few windows o_O;; After awhile, the shield has been destroyed.

"What? How can this be? How could my plan fail?" DiC-Seiya says.

"Well, duh, it's because you're the bad guy. And, even if you are great in bed, you were destined to lose from the beginning." (Gee, I wonder who said that ^_^;;)

"But I'm not the bad guy! You bishounen are!"

"Nuh-uh, the readers like us better." (And the author does, too ^o^) "So anyway, should we all finish DiC off together?"

"No, I have a much better idea," Zoisite says with a wicked grin. He turns to DiC-Seiya. "See how you like being a woman!" With that, Zoisite blasts DiC-Seiya, Taiki and Yaten with some magic. There's a huge flash of light and then the three of them reappear as women, clad in those skimpy leather Starlights outfits. Suddenly, a fly flies out of Seiya's ear and the Three Light's eyes return to normal.

"Woah, where are we?" Seiya asks, looking around.

"Yeah, last I remember we were in a karaoke bar with a bunch of unappreciative unconscious people," Yaten says.

"More importantly, I thought we were men," Taiki says, eying their scantily clad selves. Seiya and Yaten scream.

"Hey, if they're back to normal, where did DiC go?" Jadeite asks. They all look around...and hear the buzzing of a fly.

"Ooh, a fly!" Even after turning human, Tiger's Eye still has some cat instincts in him and he goes chasing after the fly.

"Stop chasing that stupid fly, we have to find DiC!" Fish Eye scolds, trying to drag Tiger's Eye away. Hawk's Eye stops him.

"That won't be necessary, for, you see, DiC is the fly."

"What? How do you know?"

"Well, did you notice that how right after that fly flew out of Seiya's ear, the Three Lights returned to normal?"

Fish Eye eyes the three girls in leather. "Normal?"

"Uhh, well, I mean the brainwashing wore off. Zoisite's spell is still in effect. But anyway, the fly was controlling them, and now they are back to normal...mentally, though not physically."

Fish Eye thinks for a second. "Wow...I could tell by how obsessed DiC was that they couldn't be human. It's hard to believe that DiC is..." Tiger's Eye pounces and a splat is heard, "uhh, was a fly."

"Yeah...this author is really twisted." (*Ahem* It's not nice to insult me while I'm sitting right here! Wait...I'm writing what they say...-_-;;).

"Hey, you! Change us back right now! Hey y--" Seiya is cut off as Kunzite's pants hit him in the face...after all, with the battle over, Kunzite and Zoisite now have time to "celebrate." ^_^;;

"Ugh, I need to get out of here," Fish Eye says, looking at the flailing bodies on the floor. "Who wants to go get something to drink?"

"Oooh, me me me me!!" Nephrite bounces over. Tiger's Eye, Hawk's Eye and Jadeite also decide to go.

Fish Eye looks at the Three Lights. "Hey, why don't you guys...uhh, girls come, too? We can go to a karaoke bar." He ignores the groans from the others...this refers to both the groans from those not wanting to go to a karaoke bar and the "other" kinds of groans from Kunzite and Zoisite ^_^;;

"All right...I guess if we want to be idols, we're going to have to work hard and be cute," Seiya says. He...uh, she tries giggling, "Tee hee hee."

The others sweatdrop. "Uh, yeah...let's go," Jadeite says.

They all teleport off to the karaoke bar they went to before...leaving Kunzite and Zoisite to...uhhh...do stuff ^_^;;* * * * * * * * * *

And so, everything is back to "normal." After doing some severe damage to the Tokyo Tower, Kunzite and Zoisite go back to the forest. At the bar, Fish Eye brainwashes several more men and brings them back to Elysion. Nephrite and Tiger's Eye drink until they collapse. Jadeite struggles to find a date. Hawk's Eye goes off to find Ami o_O;; The Three Lights get discovered at the bar and become idols...as women o_O;; With DiC's mysterious disappearance, a company steps up and subtitles the entire Sailormoon series, as it should have been in the first place ^o^ And as for the lemonade in the forest...it's absorbed into the earth and there's so much of it that it's genki power and sugar energy causes Elysion to become light again.

And so, all of our lovely bishounen live crappily...err, sappily...err, happily ever after ^_^;; (Pick whichever one you please ^_^).

OWARI...da ze!!* * * * * * * * * *

Whew! Wow, it's hard to believe that it's over! My very first fan-fic series ^_^ I started writing it as a lowly high school freshman at the beginning of 1998 and now it's done, nearly mid 1999...right after I turned "sweet" 16 ^_^;; Well, it's been so much fun to write, and I wish I could have written it in less time, but I kept getting writers block and I also haven't had much time lately. I hope everyone enjoyed reading! So, am I going to keep writing fan-fics? Yes, I've started planning a Gundam Wing fan-fic...I may write more SailorMoon fan-fics later, but I don't have any planned now...maybe a sequel to Bishounen no Mori? ^_^ Heh heh heh. Well, I thank everyone who's read this fan-fic...jaaa na!!

Comments, questions, and Gundam Wings mechs (Pilots included ^_-) go to sailorspazz@yahoo.com