Completely Hopeless

Chapter 2

Serena's POV

It's another day again. I keep wondering how I'm going to act today. I was thinking of keep acting like myself. Yes maybe I should. My back is a bit stiff from sleeping on the floor. And nightmares kept me up. I gave Rini and Luna the bed. Funny thing is they didn't question me about it. I guess my change hasn't had them noticing. Well it's not like anyone cares. I think mom and dad do but I don't know. I looked over to see Rini and Luna still asleep. Well of course they are, it's still five in the morning. I think that's the earliest I've woken up since…never.

I guess it wouldn't be a good accomplishment to everyone. But to me it is. I'm trying my best to be something other than what other people see me as. Mom and dad would be surprised, as would Sammie, but Rini and the others would just say 'oh she's trying to be different'. Well that's not too far from the truth.

I am trying to be different.

I don't wish to be that klutzy teenager who's so naïve to everything that wouldn't know right from wrong. Well this time I'll let Rei call the shots. If she wishes to be the hero then she can. I'll show her that I don't need their help or even Darien's. I don't care anymore. Besides what's one more life to lose? Mine might be important but what about everyone else? Aren't they also important? Is my existence to ensure that everyone is safe? Is that all I am? I'm just someone who's just there for everyone until I'm just nothing?

If you couldn't tell I hated it. I always felt like a liability. When Darien broke up with me and saved my life countless times I clung to hang on to someone, someone I thought I could trust. But now it seems you can't trust everyone or anyone for that matter. I guess I better shower before everyone leaves me with the cold water.

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This school morning didn't turn out so bad. I came it late acted like myself, get teased by my friends, and got detention. That was nothing new. So now I have to listen to Ms. Haruna. I could, for once, pay attention in this class. Maybe I'll get a better score on the test this week.

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I ran back home.

I can't believe them! They, actually mostly Rei, got mad at me. For what you wonder? For getting detention! So? It's not like it isn't an everyday occurrence! Even Darien is sometimes telling me to straighten my act! He isn't speaking it clearly but I can hear the hidden messages. Rini went a little overboard apparently agreeing with Rei. Everyone always agrees with her. Why don't I listen to her and take her goddamn advice?!

I…I need to calm down. I think I'm just too stressed out. A shower would calm me down. Yes, a shower and…a cut. I quickly stripped off my clothes and stepped in the warm water. I placed my blade aside and bathe in the warmth being offered to me. My muscles relaxed. I opened my eyes and stared at the blade. I picked it up and caressed the cool metal against my skin. I can hear my heart beat. It beats so fast in excitement. I skipped four-play and just slashed at myself, deeper this time. I can feel and hear my heart beat faster and faster. The feeling was exhilarating! I can…

My vision is starting to get blurry. I can't keep my eyes open. I think I'm going to…

Thump.

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I fluttered my eyes open as I heard the door being banged on. Someone was yelling and it was giving me a headache. Whoever the hell it was better have a good reason! It was then I realized water was falling on me and I was naked.

Now I remember! I was in the shower and I…I fell unconscious. I still saw some red in the water, which meant I was still bleeding but now on the cut I made. I touched the back of my head and saw blood on my fingertips. That's going to hurt for a while. I stood up and washed the blade out. I turned off the water and stepped out. I was hastily drying myself so I could hurry up for the person on the other side of the door.

"Hurry up meatball-head! I don't have all day! You took two hours in there!" I heard Rini's voice drift through the door.

"Yeah, some of us had to go use the other bathroom since someone was occupying this one!" I heard Sammie.

Nice relatives don't you think?

I picked up my stuff and hid the blade in my sleeve so they wouldn't see. I stepped out of the bathroom and walked pass them not even acknowledging them. I pretended that they weren't there. Maybe I should just do my homework. There's nothing else I could do now since everyone is here.

I took out my textbooks and started with math, since I'm really not god in that subject. Well I'm not really good in any subject but I try. I concentrated I didn't hear Luna comment me. I just ignored her like the rest of the world. In my lack of response I guess it became silent once more for another half hour.

Rini then came in with that annoying voice of hers, but I can't blame her. I have an annoying voice too, don't I? Don't lie to me. I know I do.

"Meatball head trying to do homework? You know it's useless. No matter how hard you try to you'll never get it. I heard from the others you're a hopeless cause," Rini said as always bringing down my faults. I slammed my book on the floor along with my papers and calculator. I glared hatefully at her.

Glared? I didn't know I was capable of such.

"Well at least I'm trying you pink haired brat! So why don't you shut the fuck up and leave me to my own damn business!"

Oh my god, I just said that. It was silent for a moment until my mother came in.

"Serena that is no way to speak in front of children! You're grounded for only tomorrow! After school you come straight home and do your homework. You're also going to help with some of the chores," my mother said. Well that's not bad. I was going to come home. I wouldn't bother going back to that temple anyways. I sat back down and continued my homework. Sammie was at the door teasing me again about being grounded. I'm sure mom would tell dad and that might be the end for me.

But it doesn't matter…

I'm completely hopeless anyways.

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We had a test today. Guess what???

I actually got an average score!

Yeah! It's time for me to celebrate…by myself…with…no one…and…

I sighed. It didn't matter. All I knew was that I did a better job instead of getting half or below it. Maybe I'll just get something to eat and throw this on the way if I find a trashcan. I spotted one but I kept walking. Maybe this time I'd make it without looking. I crumpled it up and threw it behind me. You know, this was the first time Darien and I met. Heh, what a coincidence.

This time I never heard an 'ouch' or any noise so I continued forward. I didn't care if it landed in there or not. Someone would surely pick it up anyways. I continued my trip to the café where I could just get a piece of cake and a drink to celebrate my 75% on my test.

I entered and just ordered a piece of cake with some water. It didn't matter, my metabolism is surprisingly very fast and considering the fact that we always fight everyday for the sake of the planet. You know this chocolate pie really is good. I was startled as someone tapped my shoulders. I turned around to see a guy with dark black hair and sunglasses over his eyes. At first I thought it was Darien. Now I realized he never really dressed that black.

"Yes?" I asked him.

"You dropped this," he said handing me a crumpled up paper. I took it and unwrinkled it. It was my test paper. I thought I threw it… I just folded it neatly and placed it in my bag.

"Thanks," I said giving him an answer while smiling. He nodded in a 'welcome' and left. I sighed. Too bad I can't chase people around anymore. I need to be different, maybe this time I won't have to worry about being a savior and just enjoy the short life I have. It's a shame really, he was kinda cute but I would never date him. Maybe a companion or friend that I can probably relate to. But like they say, you can't judge a book by its cover. I stood up and left. I was finished and walked back home. If my mom asks I failed it as usual. She'll just send me out to think about what has been done and I'll come back later.

The usual. When my grades come I'll be doing a bit better but they probably won't notice the difference. It's not like anyone cares. They already labeled me as a hopeless cause. Darien probably does too. I took a quick look behind me. I know it's not necessary but I felt like I was being followed. I turned back and continued to my house. Maybe I'm just being paranoid with my thinking?

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Normal POV

A man walked out from the alley that he shadowed himself in. He looked around for the blond-haired girl. There was something about her that he knew he'd known her before. After handing her the paper she dropped, he thought he would've noticed but it didn't come to mind. So now, he was following her home. He stayed out of sight the best he could.

He needed to find some answers and he had a feeling that she'd be the one to help him find it.

TBC---------------------

Kinshin: Yes, finally got this chapter finished! Anyways thanks for your visits!

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