Completely Hopeless

Chapter 4

Hotaru looked at the sky. As the days go by it seemed to be unbalanced. To someone normal it would seem normal but close enough there were shifting changes. She could sense them. As should Rei and Setsuna. For sure she knew Setsuna would notice. She sighed. If only they could understand what Setsuna told them the other day. Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama were also stumped on this new case of saving the world. She sighed. Maybe visiting Rini would make her mind clear.

(A/N: Sorry for interrupting but let me ask… How did Hotaru and Rini ever become good friends? It just annoys me. Sorry, back to the story.)

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Setsuna glanced at the scene where Sailor Moon defeated the youma all by herself. The demon was a pile of ashes but in reality the demon was supposed to completely disappear. Of course that didn't sit too well with her. Serena glanced in her direction but she hid out of sight. Then Setsuna realized she was looking at someone else with a confused look on her face. As she looked to see who it was she couldn't tell since there's a crowd that wanted to see the show.

Quickly she went out of sight and continued back to the outers' house. She needed to inform them a.s.a.p.

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Serena's POV

I sat back in my house. I was sharing a room with Rini and she's in there with Hotaru doing something. Maybe just playing some little kid game. Not that it's any of my business. But she kicked me out when I was there first. I argued but then stopped as I noticed Hotaru was standing right there. I let Rini have her way before I get grounded again for yelling something inappropriate again. So I just strutted to the living room and sat on the couch staring out the window. Nice thing to do for a Saturday afternoon. I would call Darien but then I'm probably going to have a boring time because I'll be the only one talking since he was probably just going to read another book. It's no such thing as a date. So I guess we're drifting apart. Maybe I'll just take a walk and bump into someone on the way. Hopefully it's Yukito.

I grabbed my jacket and walked out as it was cold as heck but hey. Girls always have to wear these tight clothes and very thin jackets because they want to dress to impress and look better than other people. Well then I guess I'll be one of those girls. I stepped out of the house and into the blistering cold. And I have to say in a long time, I've never felt so relaxed. I began to walk out into the street. Maybe I'd see someone.

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Normal POV

Hotaru was thinking. She half-paid attention to Rini while lost in her own thoughts of the depths of her mind. Right now she worried more about her princess. Sure she noticed the exchange between her and Rini about who's staying in the room. Before Hotaru could intervene and say it was okay if they just stayed in the living room Serena stopped and looked at her. What she saw in those eyes, it poured questions into her head. In those blue eyes she saw something. It was a far away look. Hotaru had her fair share of that look. No light, just dull and a melancholy stare.

"Earth to Hotaru!" She heard Rini say snapping out of her thinking state.

"I'm sorry Rini but I have to go. I just remembered something. I'll see you," Hotaru said hugging her then showing herself out the door. Rini looked down the hall.

"What's with everybody today? Is everyone changing?"

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Setsuna walked around town. She was looking around for Hotaru. She visited the Tsukino household but Rini told her that she already left. Looking around she spotted Serena across the street with 'him'. She gasped and sprinted on the crosswalk towards her. She quickly approached them.

"Serena," Setsuna said. She was about to say something else but Serena beat her to it.

"Ah, I thought I saw you yesterday. Hi, Setsuna. How's it been?" Serena said with a smile. This was actually real than the ones she set up for herself in the past week. Setsuna just gave a small smile of her own.

"I'm fine. Who's this?" she asked although she already knew and she was sure that he did too.

"Oh, this is my new friend Yukito. Yukito this is Setsuna, Yukito meet Setsuna." They shook hands.

"Serena have you seen Hotaru?"

"No. Wasn't she with Rini?"

"I checked but she wasn't there."

"Oh, well if I see her I'll tell her that you're looking for her."

"Thanks Serena. I'll go now. Bye."

Setsuna left them alone and walked away. She needed to search up something.

'So, his name's Yukito. If he is here to sabotage the future he's already doing a good job, but maybe the future could change for the better.' She thought.

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Haruka and Michiru came back from their concert that was out of country. They were rather surprised when they saw Setsuna leaning against Haruka's sports car. She gave them a small smile.

"Hello, Haruka, Michiru. I'm sure the performance went well?" Setsuna asked.

"Yes, it did Setsuna. Are you going to be staying with us?" Michiru politely said.

"No, I have things to do but I just came to tell you something."

Setsuna faced her back to them. She was about to leave.

"Watch our future queen. For the future could always be changed. For better or…" Setsuna disappeared through the crowd that just past by. Haruka just stared.

"Why can't she ever give us a straight answer?" she said.

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Serena's POV

It was fun today. I actually had fun. We did things like friends do. I have to say it's much better than seeing Darien or the others for outings like this. Yukito seems nice. But with the encounter with Setsuna I noticed that she was feeling a little surprised and a bit of fear mixed into it as she laid eyes on Yukito. I didn't bother to find out why. But then I thought could he have something to do about the youmas appearing now?

I would never think that but if it was Setsuna I always second-guess myself. Enough, I'm thinking too much. I need…relief.

I walked into the bathroom so I could have some privacy. At least no one would come in. I took out the blade and placed it against my skin. I watched as my hand unconsciously reacted as it did those other times. I made a cut on my skin the rush going through my head that I slashed again. Before I could drown in the adrenaline the door opened and I heard a gasp. God this is too soon. I looked up to see Hotaru standing there. Her eyes held a look of surprise and shock. But then it held a melancholy look. One I've made a few times in these past few weeks. She turned away and began to shut the door before she did she said something.

"I'm sorry. I thought no one was in here." Hotaru said and shut the door. Her footsteps echoed down the hall telling me that she was just going to the room or downstairs.

I sighed and threw the blade in the sink. My hands rested on the sides while I hung my head low. The blood was still streaming down my arm but I didn't care. I just hoped that she locked the door for me. I looked and saw that it was. I don't know why but that is what I like about Hotaru. She respects everyone's privacy not always going into anyone's business unless it's about her. Unlike what I used to do. Now I just don't care. Rini can keep doing it but I won't. I don't want to butt into anyone else's business. It's not like I need to know every single thing that happens in the world. Though when I become 'Neo Queen' it'll happen.

Am I being selfish for wanting something like everyone else? I never try to get everything I want. It's because Rini'll just take it from me. I thought Darien would be a great husband and everything but I guess I was naïve there too. My eyes drifted to a different future where I am not Neo Queen and I can be my own person just protecting the universe from evil. But Rei's right. I'm just a coward. I'm trying to end all my problems by killing myself. After all people are considered cowards when they end their lives themselves. Who cares? No one does. It's not like I'm that important.

I better clear things up with Hotaru. She might say something accidentally. I bet Setsuna knows what I'm doing. She's the timekeeper after all. I kind of feel bad that she stays there for millennia's and doesn't get a chance to have her own life. I guess that's something she's giving up. Hotaru too. She's always reborn with the memories from all lives she's lived. But I could call myself fortunate for not remembering the past too much. It always hurts. But they're lucky they're always alone.

The door started banging. But I didn't heed it.

"C'mon meatball head! We have to go!" I heard Rini say.

The teasing comments again. One of these days I'm going to strangle her. I cleaned up the knife and hid it in my sleeve. I stepped out and met her as she began to run to the front door. That means there's a youma again. Why can't evil ever take a break? Oh yeah otherwise everyone wouldn't ever feel sad.

I quickly ran out and followed. I know exactly what to do. I transformed and stood against he youma. I never did my speech it just wastes time. Time to fight.

TBC---------------------

Kinshin: There's chapter 4. Hope you peoples like! Thanks for your reviews and visits!

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