Completely Hopeless

Chapter 5

Serena's POV

I sighed. Finally the youma battle is over. I never saw Yukito arrive. I guess with the others he's figured that I don't need his help. I wish he could come here. But then I'm just having wishful thinking. The others were beginning to disperse. None of them de-transformed yet. I stayed behind and I noticed that Hotaru did too or rather Sailor Saturn did. I'm still trying to get used to the different personalities they have. I avoided her cool gaze as my eyes drifted towards the park swings. That was where the youma decided to stay and kill us. Fitting isn't it?

I walked towards the swings and sat down on one of them. It was late at night so I could just sneak back home later. I saw her follow my example and sat on the one next to me. It was silent. Heh, like her sign the silent planet. After all isn't that why everyone's afraid of her power? I was potentially grateful for the silence so I had time to think of what to say. Apparently my mind couldn't come up with some excuses. I just hope she'd just let it go.

"I know you don't want to talk about it," she began, "But I just wanted to know something…" she continued. I waited for her to finish. She's really a good voice of wisdom if you ever need it. "Why?" Saturn asked.

I was silent for that question. I didn't know how to answer her. I just couldn't think. Then my mouth moved without me knowing it. I started to pour out what my sob little story is.

"I don't know. I just felt like doing it. I felt like I had to do it and watch my blood flow out of my body. I didn't want to feel anything anymore. I didn't want to feel like a doll being played by Fate. Don't you know? My future is already planned out for me!" I told her to my hearts content. I think I just revealed my emotions. She stood up and began to walk away. Her voice carried through the wind.

"Whatever you chose princess, I will still stand by you for I could care less what danger we'd ever be in. That is from the both of us."

My eyes stared in surprise at her retreating form. It wasn't Hotaru that was talking it was Saturn. Maybe Hotaru doesn't agree. Since she and Rini are friends, close friends. She'd want to see Rini in the future. My planned out future. I hate it!

I looked around checking to see if anyone was around to see but none. I de-transformed and began to play on the swings, up and down. I held back the tears that wanted to spill over my eyes. Then something dropped on my cheek. I wiped it with my finger and thought it was a tear at first but then it felt cold. It was going to rain. The rain started to fall and I closed my eyes while still swinging enjoying the cold company of the rain. I might get sick tomorrow but I don't really care.

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Normal POV

Yukito watched the scene. He was rather confused at the moment. He already knew who the sailor scouts were. It was no mystery to him. And it was raining. He was sure that Serena would get a cold tomorrow. So he got out his umbrella and walked over to where she was sitting on the swings. She was done swinging around. He stood behind her and placed his coat over he shoulders while holding the umbrella up over them.

Serena looked up at him and gave him a small smile.

"Thanks." She said before looking ahead staring off into space. He stayed silent noting that she seemed to like it. She stood up and began walking with Yukito following her protecting her from the rain. She smiled and they both fell in stride.

It was a nice silent walk in the rain.

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Serena's POV

Damn sun, damn alarm clock, damn brat…

Yes people. This morning you get to hear me bitch and moan about waking up. Rini decided to place the alarm clock next to my ear waking me up and making me fall to the floor. It wasn't all that bad. I think she was trying to kill me. I didn't get up again because maybe she'll leave and I get to stay down there with a throbbing headache.

Well that didn't happen. Rini came to my side and called me stupid. In a way I guess I am. Don't you think so?

So I just got up and decided to yell at her but then thought of a better idea. I just picked up the blanket and lied back down. I didn't get any sleep last night and I wasn't feeling too well. So she just left me there and told my mom. Well for her information I was out in the rain last night! I could be dying here with a high fever and hypothermia since this room seems to be a bit colder. Funny I never noticed before.

I heard my mom come up to my room telling me to get up. The blankets were pulled from me and I curled up shivering. It was very cold. Although it is the winter season it seems much colder. My hands absentmindedly felt around for the blanket. I look to see it on the floor. I crawled over and picked it up. I placed it around me. I didn't feel too well. Maybe it was because of the rain yesterday. I never got up and I never said I'd get up in five minutes. No, I never acted like I usually did.

I heard my mother come back but I was too far into semi-consciousness to notice. I don't think I'd be useful at the moment. I soon fell back to sleep as fatigue caught up to me.

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My head felt hot.

It was burning.

I was burning.

It felt like hell.

Okay I'll stop complaining. It took a while for my mom to notice I was sick. But when Rini was sick she was always given the best of care. And I doubt Darien would come over since my dad might say something. Why should I care? It's not like anyone does anymore. I'm one more burden to add to the list of others. I took off the cool cloth off my head. I realize that I'm still sick but I need to get up and take a cold shower. Maybe that'll make it better.

I took small steps towards my closet picking out my clothes. If you're sick you have to sweat it out. And that is just what I'll do. I picked out an oversized t-shirt and caprice. It should get me through the day. I noticed that no one's home right now so I could just clean around. It helps. I went into the bathroom to take my shower and…my daily cut.

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Normal POV

Setsuna came over with Rini. Rini was so excited that she got to see Puu again. Rini was telling of adventures and things again that she missed since her last visit. Serena was around fixing things before her mother got home. Serena was unfortunate enough to bump into Sammie.

"Nice one meatball head. I see you're finally taking this whole housewife routine seriously. I guess you finally realized you're never going to get a guy with that dumb brain of yours." He commented and stood there and waited for a reaction but there was none. "Hey meatball head are you listening?" Still Serena ignored him. He huffed and walked into his room. Serena just held back her tears. It wasn't time to start being a crybaby or a whiner.

Setsuna overheard that and was worried for the lack of response from her future queen. She was now completely worried. Something was definitely wrong with Serena and she wanted to know why. She looked at Rini who was smiling while telling the story that was nonexistent.

"Rini?" Setsuna interrupted.

"Yes?" Rini spoke.

"What would happen if the future changed?" Setsuna asked seriously. Rini held a shocked look on her face then went sad, as tears were about to overflow from her eyes.

"I don't want it to change! I like it the way it is! I want to exist!" Rini yelled out while sobbing.

Serena overheard the conversation but did as much as to hold it in. But she couldn't and ran upstairs. Tears were flowing from her eyes as the conversation replayed over in her head, as the comment Sammie made was being noted. She looked the bathroom door and took out her blade. Her sobs were never heard as the tears were silently sliding down her cheeks. Not taking it anymore she sliced on her arm and again…and again. The blood dripped to the tiled floor and she didn't care. Right now nothing mattered except escaping reality at the moment.

Her mind felt dizzy and everything began to spin. Her body swayed and she fell unceremoniously on the ground. The blood was still heavily bleeding from her arm.

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The people downstairs heard the 'thump' noise and went to investigate figuring it was something bad. Sammie met up with Setsuna and Rini on the way. They figured it was in the bathroom. Setsuna's eyes widened as she probably realized what happened. She tried opening the door but it wouldn't budge. So she rammed into it busting it open and stared in shock at the scene. Sammie and Rini did too.

On the floor, Serena was laying on her side unconscious with blood pouring from her arms and a blade about a few inches away from her hand. Setsuna came over and checked her pulse, which was still there but very faint. She looked at the two children.

"Quick! Call an ambulance!"

TBC---------------

Kinshin: I hope you people are satisfied with this chapter! I seem to be losing the crowd's interest or something. But anyways thanks for your visits and reviews!

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