Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Everything You Want -Book One- Everything You Want ❯ This Woman's Work (2000) ( Chapter 10 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: OrchydConstyne 
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 09.03.2002 | Updated On: 09.03.2002 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.4K | Visits: 196 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 09.03.2002 | Updated On: 09.03.2002 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.4K | Visits: 196 | Status: Completed
*Pray God you can cope.
*I stand outside this woman's work,
*This woman's world.
*Ooh, it's hard on the man,
*Now his part is over.
*Now starts the craft of the father.
We had defeated Galaxia. Usagi was safe... and married. Michiru and I
had lain the past to rest, moving forward, never speaking of my slip
with Usagi. Though Usagi was always on my mind, I had to move on with
my life. We had decided to have a child of our own.
Over twenty thousand dollars and two IVF attempts later we had been
pregnant. True, the money hadn't been as major an obstacle as it could
have been, thanks to Michiru's violin performances, not to mention
what I was able to contribute from my racing winnings. And, of course,
it hadn't actually been me who gave her the child, but she had so
wanted to have a child of her own. And this baby, this extension of
our love, would be just as much mine, even if I had physically done
the deed.
Three months of morning sickness and six months of shopping. At least
she loved to shop. We were five, almost six months along, when Usagi
had announced she was getting married. Two weeks after the wedding,
she announced they were expecting. Usagi and my love spent hours
shopping for the new additions. At least ChibiUsa would have a
"sibling" is all they were giggling about.
I have to admit, when I saw that pink plus sign... my heart dropped
through the floor. Me, a parent. Me... a parent! She just started
crying. I did as well, ok? I know, I know, me cry? Yeah, I did. But,
the impact, the reality of this situation didn't hit until three weeks
later when we went for the first appointment. They did an ultrasound.
And, up on a little screen was our baby. So tiny, and growing inside
her! Amazing.
We had come home from that so full of wonder, not knowing what was
waiting for us at the end of this journey. We had decided to wait and
be surprised about the sex of the child. I fetched her water, held her
hand while she was over the toilet, rubbed her back, I was at such a
loss. My part had been done and over with, as far as I had seen it. I
was the male role in this relationship and now she had fully taken on
the female role. She was going into territory I would never and could
never enter. I was so proud of her and I had such respect.
I remember when she started to show. She is a slender girl by nature,
so she began to show in the middle of her fourth month. Just a gentle
swell, and I hadn't really noticed. Not until I woke up in the
pre-dawn light and saw her looking in the full-length mirror in our
room. She was nude, standing so she could view her profile, the gentle
light spilling in, the quiet, and that beautiful look of serenity on
her face.
She was gently cupping her belly, her hair spilling over her shoulder.
She was beautiful. I had seen a part of her I had never known had
existed until that moment. I watched her softly talk to our child,
promising a loving home and a bright future.
*I know you have a little life in you yet.
*I know you have a lot of strength left.
*I know you have a little life in you yet.
*I know you have a lot of strength left.
We painted the nursery in pastel shades of purples and blues, gender
neutral. Hotaru had happily put up the playful animal border around
the room and Setsuna had done her baby duty by child proofing the
house. I went and purchased a new car, a beige mini van. My love had
laughed when I brought it home, loaded down with disposable diapers,
plastic bottles, and stuffed animals.
It had been at a Senshi picnic (I know, lame, but Usagi was the one to
name it!) when Usagi had made her announcement of her impending
motherhood that Michiru had first felt the baby kick. We all had taken
our turns to place our hands on her bulging womb. Everyone felt our
baby kick. I was in awe.
That night, I laid on her belly, my ear to her bellybutton, my hand on
the side of her belly, just feeling her breath and the baby gently
stretching and moving. I was jealous, just a bit. I was so curious to
know how it must have felt to feel this life grown, to mature inside
her body! I fell asleep, cradled in her arms and close to our child.
One night around two in the morning, just beginning her seventh month,
she awoke in pain. The sheets had spots of blood and I was scared. She
was crying and saying it was too soon. I called the doctor, woke the
house, and the four of us got into that laughed at mini van and drove
quickly to the hospital.
She was rushed in and that was the last I was saw of her until ten
a.m. when a nurse came in and said they were able to prevent the labor
from progressing any further, and Michiru was resting comfortably in
her room and would have to remain there for 3 weeks. I breathed my
sigh of relief and entered her room.
*I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
*I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking
Big, sad blue eyes awaited me.
"Haruka, it's too soon." The tears came.
"I know." I walked swiftly to her and held her in my arms. Too soon.
"They stopped it, though, Michiru. You have to stay here for a few
weeks, just until we're sure everything is ok."
She nodded into my shoulder and I felt her relax. A few moments later,
I heard her gently snore. I laid her back and just watched her. Then I
cried.
Three weeks later she was discharged, with strict orders for bed rest.
I made sure she was confined to that bed and only got up to use the
bathroom. We all took shifts taking care of her. Usagi came over to
keep her company and we threw her a baby shower in the bedroom as
well.
I was so careful with her. We stopped making love and just held each
other. Our baby was active and kicked so much. We went to all the
doctor's appointments and did everything right.
And since we had done everything right, why is it ending like this?!
*Of all the things I should've said,
*That I never said.
*All the things we should've done,
*That we never did.
*All the things I should've given,
*But I didn't.
We woke up this morning at nine to her having contractions. She was
within 2 weeks of her due date, so I wasn't as worried as I had been
the first time. We got our suitcases, Hotaru said she would call
everyone and meet us at the hospital.
As we were walking out the door, Michiru cried out. I turned around
and saw a stream of blood start its course down her leg. I picked her
up and carried her the van while Hotaru threw the suitcases in the
back. I bit my lip as I drove like mad to the hospital while Michiru
wept beside me in pain and fear.
"I love you, Haruka," she whispered. She was almost white, blood
staining the seat and floor beneath her, her eyes droopy. I pressed
that accelerator, begging any god to make us fly.
"Everything will be ok, Michiru. Don't worry." I was so scared. What
was happening? She was a Senshi, shouldn't that count for something?
Why did we have this destiny? Why did bad things happen to good
people?
I got her to the hospital and I followed them as far as the operating
room door. The nurse told me I had to wait for them to stabilize her
and would I be kind enough to go and fill out some forms at the front
desk?
I filled out the forms. I walked the halls. I heard her screams; I
could feel her pain and fear. And that brings me to now.
*Oh, darling, make it go,
*Make it go away.
*Give me these moments back.
*Give them back to me.
*Give me that little kiss.
*Give me your hand.
Michiru had always wanted to go to Paris with me, so we had gone after
the Galaxia battle. But, she had also wanted to tour America and
Europe. Was it wrong that we put it off?
The morning kisses. Hot showers. The long drives we would take.
Watching her paint. Oh, when we found out we were pregnant. The plans,
so much had happened. So much had been left behind or forgotten. Until
now.
The tickle fights with Hotaru. Cooking lessons with Setsuna. Usagi's
shopping trips. Lazy, warm nights when the group of us would get
together and sit in the backyard sipping tea and chitchatting. Only
now do these things come to mind, as well as all the things that have
yet to be and the things that I had done wrong.
Yelling at her, our spats about my racing, Hotaru's upbringing, the
car, the chores I didn't do when she asked, the stress of our
relationship, the affair I had with Odango...
That was just the tip of the iceberg.
God, please, keep her safe. We can always make another baby, but I
can't make another Michiru.
*(I know you have a little life in you yet.
*I know you have a lot of strength left.
*I know you have a little life in you yet.
*I know you have a lot of strength left.)
*I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
*I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking
The nurse comes out.
"Tenoh-san, the baby is in breech. This was unexpected since the baby
was not due yet. They must operate, they fear for your wife's safety
if they do not."
And that was it. The nurse walked back in.
Michiru, I know you can do it. I know you have the strength. I know
you.
I also know that any child of yours would have that same strength and
desire to live!
"Live, Michiru. Live..."
My voice cracks. My Michiru. My baby. My loves. It takes you being in
so much trouble that I know now how much the baby means to me.
Watching it grow within you, marveling at you both.
You must live!
I go to the waiting room and wait.
An hour later the others arrive; Mamoru-san and Odango, Mako-chan and
Rei-chan, Minako-chan and Ami-chan, Hotaru and Setsuna... my family.
All of them, my family. The tears spring to my eyes.
*Of all the things we should've said,
*That were never said.
*All the things we should've done,
*That we never did.
*All the things that you needed from me.
*All the things that you wanted for me.
*All the things that I should've given,
*But I didn't.
"Haruka-san, Michiru is so strong, and your baby will be as stubborn
as you!" Usagi says to me. I smile at her.
My mind still can't help but think the worst. I was still thinking
about all the what ifs and all the regrets. I should have been nicer
to Michiru when we first met. I should have said what was in my heart,
not speak my pride. I should have trusted her.
She had needed me. I had needed her. But, I had never really let her
in. Even now, there is space between us. All the words I had said
could wait, all the trips, all the moments, all the time I had just
taken for granted.
She had wanted me to start playing the piano again. I had said there
wasn't enough time. She had wanted me to start racing again; I had
said I wouldn't worry her like that. She had wanted me to further my
education; I said it wasn't worth it. She had wanted so much for me
and I had just dismissed it.
I should have given myself to her unconditionally, I should have given
all I was to her, but I had held back. I don't know why, but now I am
so afraid I won't have the chance to make it right.
"Michiru," I softly whisper. "Give me a chance."
I will be a loving father, I will be an open and faithful partner, I
will be all that she wants for me and I will give her all she needs
from me. Just give me the chance!
*Oh, darling, make it go away.
*Just make it go away now.
"Tenoh-san?"
I look up. The nurse walks toward me. This is it. Are they ok? Are
they alive? Is my love alive? Do we have a baby?
"Your wife would like to speak with you."
I nod and follow the nurse. I trust Michiru. If we had lost the baby,
she would want to tell me herself.
I walk in and sit down next to her sleeping form. She is so pale, but
her face is relaxed. I gently touch her cheek and she slowly opens her
eyes.
"Hey," she says.
"Hey," is my lame response.
I kiss her forehead. "Are you ok?"
She nods. "Haruka," she smiles slightly at me, "it's a girl."
I look at her. A girl. We have a girl!
Me, a parent. Me, Tenoh Haruka, a dad!
The nurse brings me my daughter. She has tufts of pale blonde hair,
bright green eyes, and a button nose. She squeaks at me as I take her.
She smells amazing.
I look to Michiru, the tears spilling down my face. "We have a
daughter! Kaze?" She nods and I look down at our daughter. "Kaze, a
gentle breeze in our lives." The tiny hand grips my finger, so
small...
*I stand outside this woman's work,
*This woman's world.
*Ooh, it's hard on the man,
*Now his part is over.
*Now starts the craft of the father.
We had defeated Galaxia. Usagi was safe... and married. Michiru and I
had lain the past to rest, moving forward, never speaking of my slip
with Usagi. Though Usagi was always on my mind, I had to move on with
my life. We had decided to have a child of our own.
Over twenty thousand dollars and two IVF attempts later we had been
pregnant. True, the money hadn't been as major an obstacle as it could
have been, thanks to Michiru's violin performances, not to mention
what I was able to contribute from my racing winnings. And, of course,
it hadn't actually been me who gave her the child, but she had so
wanted to have a child of her own. And this baby, this extension of
our love, would be just as much mine, even if I had physically done
the deed.
Three months of morning sickness and six months of shopping. At least
she loved to shop. We were five, almost six months along, when Usagi
had announced she was getting married. Two weeks after the wedding,
she announced they were expecting. Usagi and my love spent hours
shopping for the new additions. At least ChibiUsa would have a
"sibling" is all they were giggling about.
I have to admit, when I saw that pink plus sign... my heart dropped
through the floor. Me, a parent. Me... a parent! She just started
crying. I did as well, ok? I know, I know, me cry? Yeah, I did. But,
the impact, the reality of this situation didn't hit until three weeks
later when we went for the first appointment. They did an ultrasound.
And, up on a little screen was our baby. So tiny, and growing inside
her! Amazing.
We had come home from that so full of wonder, not knowing what was
waiting for us at the end of this journey. We had decided to wait and
be surprised about the sex of the child. I fetched her water, held her
hand while she was over the toilet, rubbed her back, I was at such a
loss. My part had been done and over with, as far as I had seen it. I
was the male role in this relationship and now she had fully taken on
the female role. She was going into territory I would never and could
never enter. I was so proud of her and I had such respect.
I remember when she started to show. She is a slender girl by nature,
so she began to show in the middle of her fourth month. Just a gentle
swell, and I hadn't really noticed. Not until I woke up in the
pre-dawn light and saw her looking in the full-length mirror in our
room. She was nude, standing so she could view her profile, the gentle
light spilling in, the quiet, and that beautiful look of serenity on
her face.
She was gently cupping her belly, her hair spilling over her shoulder.
She was beautiful. I had seen a part of her I had never known had
existed until that moment. I watched her softly talk to our child,
promising a loving home and a bright future.
*I know you have a little life in you yet.
*I know you have a lot of strength left.
*I know you have a little life in you yet.
*I know you have a lot of strength left.
We painted the nursery in pastel shades of purples and blues, gender
neutral. Hotaru had happily put up the playful animal border around
the room and Setsuna had done her baby duty by child proofing the
house. I went and purchased a new car, a beige mini van. My love had
laughed when I brought it home, loaded down with disposable diapers,
plastic bottles, and stuffed animals.
It had been at a Senshi picnic (I know, lame, but Usagi was the one to
name it!) when Usagi had made her announcement of her impending
motherhood that Michiru had first felt the baby kick. We all had taken
our turns to place our hands on her bulging womb. Everyone felt our
baby kick. I was in awe.
That night, I laid on her belly, my ear to her bellybutton, my hand on
the side of her belly, just feeling her breath and the baby gently
stretching and moving. I was jealous, just a bit. I was so curious to
know how it must have felt to feel this life grown, to mature inside
her body! I fell asleep, cradled in her arms and close to our child.
One night around two in the morning, just beginning her seventh month,
she awoke in pain. The sheets had spots of blood and I was scared. She
was crying and saying it was too soon. I called the doctor, woke the
house, and the four of us got into that laughed at mini van and drove
quickly to the hospital.
She was rushed in and that was the last I was saw of her until ten
a.m. when a nurse came in and said they were able to prevent the labor
from progressing any further, and Michiru was resting comfortably in
her room and would have to remain there for 3 weeks. I breathed my
sigh of relief and entered her room.
*I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
*I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking
Big, sad blue eyes awaited me.
"Haruka, it's too soon." The tears came.
"I know." I walked swiftly to her and held her in my arms. Too soon.
"They stopped it, though, Michiru. You have to stay here for a few
weeks, just until we're sure everything is ok."
She nodded into my shoulder and I felt her relax. A few moments later,
I heard her gently snore. I laid her back and just watched her. Then I
cried.
Three weeks later she was discharged, with strict orders for bed rest.
I made sure she was confined to that bed and only got up to use the
bathroom. We all took shifts taking care of her. Usagi came over to
keep her company and we threw her a baby shower in the bedroom as
well.
I was so careful with her. We stopped making love and just held each
other. Our baby was active and kicked so much. We went to all the
doctor's appointments and did everything right.
And since we had done everything right, why is it ending like this?!
*Of all the things I should've said,
*That I never said.
*All the things we should've done,
*That we never did.
*All the things I should've given,
*But I didn't.
We woke up this morning at nine to her having contractions. She was
within 2 weeks of her due date, so I wasn't as worried as I had been
the first time. We got our suitcases, Hotaru said she would call
everyone and meet us at the hospital.
As we were walking out the door, Michiru cried out. I turned around
and saw a stream of blood start its course down her leg. I picked her
up and carried her the van while Hotaru threw the suitcases in the
back. I bit my lip as I drove like mad to the hospital while Michiru
wept beside me in pain and fear.
"I love you, Haruka," she whispered. She was almost white, blood
staining the seat and floor beneath her, her eyes droopy. I pressed
that accelerator, begging any god to make us fly.
"Everything will be ok, Michiru. Don't worry." I was so scared. What
was happening? She was a Senshi, shouldn't that count for something?
Why did we have this destiny? Why did bad things happen to good
people?
I got her to the hospital and I followed them as far as the operating
room door. The nurse told me I had to wait for them to stabilize her
and would I be kind enough to go and fill out some forms at the front
desk?
I filled out the forms. I walked the halls. I heard her screams; I
could feel her pain and fear. And that brings me to now.
*Oh, darling, make it go,
*Make it go away.
*Give me these moments back.
*Give them back to me.
*Give me that little kiss.
*Give me your hand.
Michiru had always wanted to go to Paris with me, so we had gone after
the Galaxia battle. But, she had also wanted to tour America and
Europe. Was it wrong that we put it off?
The morning kisses. Hot showers. The long drives we would take.
Watching her paint. Oh, when we found out we were pregnant. The plans,
so much had happened. So much had been left behind or forgotten. Until
now.
The tickle fights with Hotaru. Cooking lessons with Setsuna. Usagi's
shopping trips. Lazy, warm nights when the group of us would get
together and sit in the backyard sipping tea and chitchatting. Only
now do these things come to mind, as well as all the things that have
yet to be and the things that I had done wrong.
Yelling at her, our spats about my racing, Hotaru's upbringing, the
car, the chores I didn't do when she asked, the stress of our
relationship, the affair I had with Odango...
That was just the tip of the iceberg.
God, please, keep her safe. We can always make another baby, but I
can't make another Michiru.
*(I know you have a little life in you yet.
*I know you have a lot of strength left.
*I know you have a little life in you yet.
*I know you have a lot of strength left.)
*I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
*I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking
The nurse comes out.
"Tenoh-san, the baby is in breech. This was unexpected since the baby
was not due yet. They must operate, they fear for your wife's safety
if they do not."
And that was it. The nurse walked back in.
Michiru, I know you can do it. I know you have the strength. I know
you.
I also know that any child of yours would have that same strength and
desire to live!
"Live, Michiru. Live..."
My voice cracks. My Michiru. My baby. My loves. It takes you being in
so much trouble that I know now how much the baby means to me.
Watching it grow within you, marveling at you both.
You must live!
I go to the waiting room and wait.
An hour later the others arrive; Mamoru-san and Odango, Mako-chan and
Rei-chan, Minako-chan and Ami-chan, Hotaru and Setsuna... my family.
All of them, my family. The tears spring to my eyes.
*Of all the things we should've said,
*That were never said.
*All the things we should've done,
*That we never did.
*All the things that you needed from me.
*All the things that you wanted for me.
*All the things that I should've given,
*But I didn't.
"Haruka-san, Michiru is so strong, and your baby will be as stubborn
as you!" Usagi says to me. I smile at her.
My mind still can't help but think the worst. I was still thinking
about all the what ifs and all the regrets. I should have been nicer
to Michiru when we first met. I should have said what was in my heart,
not speak my pride. I should have trusted her.
She had needed me. I had needed her. But, I had never really let her
in. Even now, there is space between us. All the words I had said
could wait, all the trips, all the moments, all the time I had just
taken for granted.
She had wanted me to start playing the piano again. I had said there
wasn't enough time. She had wanted me to start racing again; I had
said I wouldn't worry her like that. She had wanted me to further my
education; I said it wasn't worth it. She had wanted so much for me
and I had just dismissed it.
I should have given myself to her unconditionally, I should have given
all I was to her, but I had held back. I don't know why, but now I am
so afraid I won't have the chance to make it right.
"Michiru," I softly whisper. "Give me a chance."
I will be a loving father, I will be an open and faithful partner, I
will be all that she wants for me and I will give her all she needs
from me. Just give me the chance!
*Oh, darling, make it go away.
*Just make it go away now.
"Tenoh-san?"
I look up. The nurse walks toward me. This is it. Are they ok? Are
they alive? Is my love alive? Do we have a baby?
"Your wife would like to speak with you."
I nod and follow the nurse. I trust Michiru. If we had lost the baby,
she would want to tell me herself.
I walk in and sit down next to her sleeping form. She is so pale, but
her face is relaxed. I gently touch her cheek and she slowly opens her
eyes.
"Hey," she says.
"Hey," is my lame response.
I kiss her forehead. "Are you ok?"
She nods. "Haruka," she smiles slightly at me, "it's a girl."
I look at her. A girl. We have a girl!
Me, a parent. Me, Tenoh Haruka, a dad!
The nurse brings me my daughter. She has tufts of pale blonde hair,
bright green eyes, and a button nose. She squeaks at me as I take her.
She smells amazing.
I look to Michiru, the tears spilling down my face. "We have a
daughter! Kaze?" She nods and I look down at our daughter. "Kaze, a
gentle breeze in our lives." The tiny hand grips my finger, so
small...