Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Hearts of Swords ❯ Chapter IV - Emotions ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

* * * R E C A P * * *

Her breath caught in her throat as she watched the water droplets cascading off
of pale, supple skin. The moon and the sky were a perfect scenery to compliment
the goddess that stood in the water, oblivious to the voyeur that hid in the
bushes.

The moon gave an ethereal glow to the alabaster skin, and then she noticed the
large scar upon the girl's back. It did nothing to mar the beauty, but rather
enhanced it. She found herself watching those enticing, sinewy bands of muscle
that rippled with each graceful movement. Vaguely, she wondered how her pale
alabaster, almost marble like skin would feel against hers. She shivered with
the thoughts and tried to calm the erratic beat of her heart.

A warm summer breeze picked up, and the golden waterfall of hair was swept
along in the direction of the breeze, impossibly long strands caressing the
nude form. The sight was ever so erotic and Rei found herself envying the hair
which could touch that lithe body so intimately.

She watched as Usagi slipped into a white yukata robe, tying the sash closed at
her waist and picking up her katana, scabbard and all. The golden haired child
walked back into the inn, and Rei sighed as the shoji was smoothly shut behind
her.

* * * * *

Metal and men shrieked, wailed and screamed around her. As her anger and
bitterness enveloped her, she felt as if there was something wrapped around her
that disconnected her from the rest of the battle. All she could see, hear and
feel was the weight of her katana in her hands, and the enemy. She could see
his eyes boring into her own, and then it would turn red with blood. Ducking
and weaving, swinging, slashing, stabbing, lunging and kicking her way through
the enemy.

However, she just couldn't seem to find that right...balance. She had been
centered before she had arrived here. Now she was off-balance, teetering on the
verge of an unknown precipice that would fall into the abyss. This was
dangerous. She *had* to get back in control.

It was timeless as she moved with grace through the battlegrounds. Her movement
was sure and fluid, each calculated stroke and technique flowing smoothly like
a waterfall. It was these kinds of swordsmen that made the art of kenjutsu look
like a real art. It required precise movements and confidence.

Hours, perhaps even days passed as she continued her journey through blood and
gore. Her katana ran red with thick crimson and with each man that died by her
sword, a small piece of her shattered heart seemed to break away and be lost
to her own guilt and pain.

'A month. It took only one *month* of having someone nearby...to throw me off
balance. I *MUST* not have attachments. My balance...my balance is gone. I must
restore my balance.'


* * END CHAPTER III * *

*NOTE: This chapter contains lime content. Proceed at your own discretion.*

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H E A R T S O F S W O R D S

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"To light the shadows on your face..."

Chapter IV - Emotions
[Sengoku Period, 1512]


It was well in the early hours when Usagi had finally made her way back to
Kyoto. She had been in the plains helping to bury the dead. As much as they
were her enemies, proper respect had to be shown to those who fought and died
honorably.

Exhausted and bleeding from numerous cuts, she stumbled into the small complex
she shared with her other "housemates" to find all of them waiting for her,
looking sleepy and alert from worry.

"Are you all right?" Setsuna asked.

Nodding her head 'yes', she tried to make her way into the bedroom to sleep off
the weariness that was being proclaimed by her jerky movements. However, the
stains of red still growing from her own cuts did not go unnoticed by Michiru
and Rei.

"You're bleeding!" Haruka exclaimed.

Confused, Usagi looked at her arms and torso to find that indeed, she was
bleeding.

'I'm...cut?'

"God, you're bleeding like a stuck pig. Here, I'll wrap it up for you so that
you stop bleeding on the floor like a fountain," Rei muttered.

Usagi stood there, the blood still dripping down her arm. She removed her top
without flinching from the use of her injured arm. The injury was not serious;
she had suffered worse. When she removed the gi, she noticed that yet another
sword had nicked her by her stomach.

It was then that everyone noticed the large diagonal scar that ran down the
length of the diminutive blond's back. It was one of the many myraid of faded
pale scars that covered her back and arms. One would have thought that she was
mutilating herself, but knowing what she was capable of with the katana that
was always at her side, the scars were undoubtedly from battles.

Rei scurried back into the room to begin wrapping up the wounds, while Setsuna
began to clean up the small puddle of blood that had formed on the polished
wood. Usagi stood still as Rei applied a salve to prevent infection; the flex
of her hand was the only clue that reminded them that although the girl was a
skilled samurai, she was still human and felt pain.

When the ordeal was finished, Usagi silently replaced her top, murmured a word
of thanks and walked off. Puzzled at the young girl's cold behavior, the others
stood there, stunned and curious. What had just transpired?

Accusing stares met Rei's amethyst eyes. Becoming irritated of the attention,
she snapped, "What?"

"Go talk to her," Makoto urged. 'You just need an excuse.' "She seems a bit
preoccupied. Maybe you can get through to her." 'Come on! I'm giving you a
perfect chance! Go!'

Slowly nodding her head in assent, the ebony haired girl walked away in the
same direction as Usagi. The others returned to their own bedrooms.

* * * * *

Seated cross-legged with her back to the door, she focused her attention to
nothing in particular, yet was keenly aware to everything that was around her.
Her mind flashed back to the days when she would have her wounds tended to by
her "father". She could recall the younger years of her life when she would be
running to and from errands with her older brother, who would always comfort
her when she had nightmares or was afraid. He was always there...

"Always..." she murmured.

Footsteps stopped by the door and the shoji slid open behind her. She did not
have to turn to know who the other occupant was. The faint smell of jasmine and
woodsmoke floated into the room, and immediately filled her with a sense of
calm and warmth.

'Too dangerous. I'm already unbalanced...I do not *need* this distraction. Just
go dear girl, go and leave me in peace.'

"Usagi? Are you all right?" she asked.

A quiet, inaudible sigh escaped her lips as she nodded. There was no escaping
the inquiry now. She had wanted to meditate in peace, trying to find the center
of her balance. It was dangerous for a swordsman to be unbalanced while he or
she was engaged in battle. It could lead to an early death and she would not
rest in her grave before the war was finished.

Within her, emotions were tumultuous and filled with malice and venom. Thoughts
of worthlessness and pain, embraced tightly by guilt and shame were jumbled in
one. It was hard discerning one from the other, but all she knew was that it
was there and there was nothing she could do to *not* feel that way. The weak,
frail child within her screamed and sobbed, and she knew that she was shaking
from the force of her own emotions.

"Usagi?"

Her hand flexed and clenched into fists as she vainly tried to control her
raging emotions. So much was at risk now, with all of these people that were
around her, they would surely make targets for any assassin who wanted her dead
and buried. She closed her eyes, tears pushing insistently against her eyelids,
taunting her to spill them and make herself look weak and vulnerable.

"Usagi!"

Everything was lost to her at that moment. A hand grabbed her shoulder in a
painfully tight grip and shook her forcefully, immediately snapping her out of
her inner torment. Her eyes snapped open and looked into concerned violet which
pierced into her own watery cerulean. Startled by the presence of tears she
hadn't known that the girl could shed, she immediately stopped her shaking and
released most of the power in the grip to a gesture of comfort and concern.

"Are you all right?" she queried softly.

With practiced ease, she smoothly wiped the tears away from her eyes and gave a
small, reassuring smile. "I'll be fine."

Still skeptical, she looked deeper into the pools of blue and found herself
becoming entranced and hypnotized by the depth of emotion in them. Endless blue
surrounded her and she was oddly at peace, calmed by the simple presence of
Usagi.

"Are you sure?" she asked, needing confirmation to soothe her own nerves.

Chuckling softly, Usagi replied, "Yes, I'll be fine."

She stood up, her movements graceful and...oddly sensual. There was something
about this blond character that attracted attention, and she *certainly* had
the attention of Rei. Usagi left the room, leaving behind a confused girl in
her departure.

* * * * *

It was obvious to any man with half a brain that their illustrious leader and
General was *not* in the best mood. After the report of the failed skirmish in
Kyoto, the man was dressed to kill, in every sinister sense of the phrase. What
was even more disturbing was that the man seemed so...*cheerful* in his foul
mood.

Many believed that it was safe to say that their General would order a large
manhunt today. The report spoke of a mysterious samurai who single-handedly
destroyed their troop of 32 men. It was absurd, *LUDICROUS* to believe that a
lone samurai could defeat the entire troop.

However, it had happened and now they were paying the price for it. They had
allowed the same samurai to defeat them *twice*. They were only given one
chance for error and they had made two. All of them were treading on dangerous
grounds now.

"Find him and bring him to me," he commanded.

"Yes sir!"

* * * * *

The moon was veiled by the clouds this night, and it was the perfect condition
for her to make her escape. After hours of intense training and meditation, she
had realized that the source of her imbalance was Rei. They were tipping her
off balance, making her weaker and much more vulnerable to attack. This change
was very unwelcome. Out of them all, it was Rei who affected her the most.

Just as she was about to leave the room, she cast a final glance towards the
sleeping figure in the room. The moonlight framed her prone figure sensuously
and she smiled sadly. As much as she wanted to stay and befriend the scorned
girl, she would bring them unnecessary danger. It would be unwise to involve
innocents in her dangerous life.

She quietly opened the shoji and was about to step out when a sleepy voice
called, "Usagi? Where are you going?"

Frozen, she quietly murmured, "Out to train."

Normally, this answer would have satisfied the girl and she would fall back
asleep, but this time Rei noticed that there was a bundle held in Usagi's hand.
Taking in her surroundings, she noticed that *all* of Usagi's things were
missing. Alert now that the information had been processed, she leapt up and
grabbed Usagi's hand. "You're lying. You're trying to leave without me or any
one of us noticing, aren't you!"

Usagi tried to extricate herself from the other's grasp. "You don't understand
what you have done by letting me into your lives. You are in *danger*. I cannot
stay here and endanger you any further. If the enemy realize that I am here
with others, I will be sending you to your deaths. I *refuse* to let it happen
again!"

'Again...?'

"Usagi...don't go," Rei pleaded quietly. "Please."

Cerulean blue met vivid amethyst, and for a fleeting moment, they bared their
souls to each other in their gaze that searched into the other's. The love, the
passion, the pain and sorrow...it was all present in both of their eyes, and
the intensity of it was undeniable. Love was what bound them together.

In a heartbeat, lips made contact with lips and electricity flowed between the
two girls. Raw passion and wanton need burned within them, tempered by love. It
was undeniable in their kiss; they were in love with each other. Such a short
span of time had passed between them, and already they were deeply in love.

A pair of hands cupped Rei's breasts and she gasped into the kiss, giving Usagi
access to the heated caverns of her mouth. Their tongues met and battled for
supremacy over the other. Rei's hands became vagabond as they roamed over the
clothed form of her partner. Usagi's hands had already untied the sash that
kept her yukata closed and the cool night air caressed her form with its chilly
touch, sending a shiver down her spine.

They broke away from the kiss, breathless and filled with ardour. Rei's hands
busied themselves to remove Usagi's ebony colored gi and moaned as she felt the
girl's bare flesh against her hands. It was a thrill to feel her same alabaster
skin against hers. Her breath hitched as Usagi's calloused fingers teased her
nipples to peak, and she returned the favor to the smaller girl. Hearing a
quiet moan from the blond warrior, she continued in her ministrations. However,
it was cut off when the palm of her hand brushed against the underside of her
breasts.

"Usagi...so good..."

The said blond's lips touched her face, and Usagi marveled at the smooth skin
under her hands. They were pale and creamy; framed by the midnight black
tresses it was a very seductive contrast that called to her like a temptress.
Such an innocent girl. Her lips traveled to and fro, finally settling upon the
nape of her partner's neck. A hiss escaped the ebony-haired girl as she felt
the soft, velvet lips against her sensitive skin and the soft, firm breasts
pushing against her back.

Flesh met flesh and Rei's nerves jumped at the contact, sending a bolt of white
hot pleasure through her body. A needy whimper escaped her lips and she arched
into the touch, the pleasure unrelenting in its demand to be quenched by the
silky touch of the blond.

However, it was that needy whimper that stopped Usagi. She came crashing back
into reality and she realized their position. She realized that this was why
she had been off-balance, uncentered. It was her desire for Rei that had made
her preoccupied with petty dreams and fantasies. Now, they were becoming real,
and it was...addictive and heady.

"Usagi...are you all right?" Rei asked breathlessly.

She tore herself from the grip and fell to the ground on her hands and knees.
In such a short span of time, she had lost all control and had been on the
verge of making love with the one person that she had tried to protect, tried
to shield from her inner darkness.

"I...We cannot do this. It...it's *wrong* and *I'm* wrong..." Usagi stammered
incoherently.

The dark-haired girl was at her side. "Are you all right?"

"This...this can't...you have *no* idea what you do to me..." the blond choked
out in a pained whisper. "I cannot...cannot let you throw me off-balance...you
are my love, my life and my death. You..."

Pulling the shorter girl into her arms, she murmured, "Hush. It's all right. I
understand."

Usagi violently ripped herself away from the embrace. "No! You don't! You don't
know what it's like to be constantly walking on the edge of death and knowing
that even a *FRACTION* of a step in the wrong direction will kill you! That...
that is why I cannot...cannot bring myself to love you. I won't die and I will
*not* let you die with me either!!"

Rei stared in shock, concern and fear as the blond struggled towards the door.
In a desperate attempt, she grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down onto the
ground. Finally letting the last of the walls that she had carefully built to
guard her heart fall into nothingness, she clutched at the blond and let the
tears fall. "You can't go! I won't let you! I *love* you! Isn't that enough? I
can help you, *love* you! Please...don't go. Don't leave me."

Her cerulean blue eyes could not meet the pain-filled amethyst that sought her
love. "I...you don't even know me. You do not know anything about me. How can
you love me?"

"I...I don't know. There's just something about you that...I connect with. I
can't describe it, but I *know* it's right. Let me prove it to you, let me in,
let me *love* you," Rei pleaded.

The blond looked into fathomless amethyst and murmured in a soft, almost shy
whisper, "I have not felt love in such a long, long time."

"Then I will show you what true love is. This I promise you," Rei vowed.

* * * * *

Sitting alone in opulent chamber, he looked out to the vast landscape laid out
before him and let a sad smile grace his lips. How he missed her. It had been
two years since he had let her go, and even now he missed her presence. Golden
waterfall of hair, beseeching summer blue depths of her irises and the smile
that haunted him.

'I was a fool, a pitiful fool...' he berated himself.

He knew more than anyone that he hadn't deserved such a wondrous girl, but she
had come to him, willingly and with ardour, compassion and infatuation. When
her infatuation grew into something deeper and something more meaningful, he
had spurned it, scorned it and broken her heart. Upon discovering that she had
left in the middle of the night, he had cursed himself for letting her slip
through his fingers.

Her voice were like tinkling bells and the melodic peal of her laughter still
echoed in his ears, and his cold heart clenched in painful yearning for her. To
hear her voice calling his name, crying out in her throes of passion as he
ravished her willing body voraciously.

In a rare moment of defenseless silence, his eyes softened from their midnight
black hue to the color of the churning ocean. His ebony locks fell into his
face as he remembered. Her love and care had softened his hard edges, but after
her departure, he had fallen apart; became scornful, cold and ruthless. She had
made him someone, someone *noble*, someone *worthy* of her. Now, he was nothing
but a murderer.

"I have no time to dwell on such matters!" he growled. "That golden-haired
warrior shall be mine to mold into the manslayer that he will become to bring
this clan to power!"

But he knew, deep down, that his resolve was weak as a newborn baby.

* * * * *

"...True love...?" Usagi echoed.

Rei realized that this was a very risky gamble. The blond was confused and to
take advantage of that confusion and be exposed about it later would mean that
she would lose the blond forever. Her heart ached for her, simply because Usagi
had *never* felt love, and had lived sixteen years without it. 'How dismal and
miserable that sounds,' she mused.

She was determined to show Usagi love.

"I...I have never known...such a thing. Not even with him, did I ever feel what
you call 'love'. I am...so very tired...so tired of being alone. I do not know
how to describe what I feel when I am around you. I feel warm, peaceful, serene
and...and safe. Cherished," Usagi spoke quietly, and looked up to see amethyst
eyes shining at her. "Is that...love?"

"It can be whatever you want it to be," the dark-haired girl whispered.

Usagi pulled the younger girl closer to her, hoping to absorb the warmth and
the love emanating from her. "Then I want it to be love."

"And so it shall be," Rei murmured.

Their lips joined in a brief press, hardly a kiss. Just a soft brush of their
lips, and the tender passion that burned in them both was consumed by sheer,
raw emotion. Two girls abandoned by society, both having been self-taught and
raised to endure the hardships of the unfortunate. A wanderings swordsman and a
orphaned girl joined this night in a bond of love.

And that was all that mattered to them.

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Author's Notes:

I finally touched upon a lime. Yes, it was completely spontaneous and *very*
irrelevant. I pondered about removing it, but then it would completely ruin all
of my plans. (coughs and discreetly tries to cover up the fact that she really
doesn't *have* any plans and needed an excuse to write a lime.)

If someone hasn't caught on, you can see that it has MAJOR OOCness. Why? Simply
because I wrote it that way. No no, that's not the only reason. You have got to
understand that Usagi was raised as a young child to forego all emotions during
battle and to kill without remorse. As much as she tries to do this, she still
feels the overwhelming guilt at killing those people (like Kenshin). If you
haven't noticed, Rei said the words, "I love you" but Usagi didn't. That will
be a very crucial point later on. Trust me.

As for that mystery man interlude, I bet most of you have figured out who it is
by now. With the physical description I provided, it's pretty obvious as to who
I'm referring to. He will become much more prominent later on as well.

Currently, I finished writing this fic and this author's note at 6:27 AM. After
spending the whole night downloading at the insistence of a friend of mine, I
finally finished this chapter. :) It's a blessing and a curse. I hate you Will.
^_^

[E-mail: sherazard_@hotmail.com]
[Website: http://ashura.br0ken.org]
[Weblog: http://ashura.blogspot.com]

1st draft: Completed. (07.17.2002)

TRANSLATION:

yukata - A robe worn to bed, like a nightgown.
shoji - A screen door made with a wood frame and rice-paper.

Resources:

http://home.austin.rr.com/scajapan /HISTORY.HTM
http://victorian.fortunecity.com/duchamp/410/shogun.html http://home.earthlink.net/~steinrl/glossary.htm