Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Hearts of Swords ❯ Chapter VIII - Regrets ( Chapter 8 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

* * * R E C A P * * *

"So...I've found you at last."

* * * * *

After dinner, Haruka and Michiru were both sitting in their shared room, the
tension thick in the air. Makoto and Setsuna also retired to their room, both
of them realizing the need for the pair to have privacy.

"Haruka..."

"I'm so sorry," Michiru whispered softly. "I shouldn't have said what I said,
and it was completely uncalled for. I know I've hurt you Ruka, and it hurts me
to know that I'm capable of hurting someone else like..."

"Hush," Haruka interrupted. "I know what you're going to say, but don't ever
compare yourself to him. I'm not blameless either, Michi. I've said things to
hurt you too, and for that, I'm sorry. It was unnecessary and out of line. It
is I who should be asking for forgiveness."

"Ruka..." Michiru murmured reverently.

"Michi..."

Their lips met in a passionate kiss, and the slender hands of the smaller
Michiru caressed the exposed skin of Haruka. Haruka's arms pulled her lover
close, as if it would bring the woman closer to her heart. Time passed by them
as they locked themselves in the moment of their love, knowing that nothing
would get in between their love.

Nothing.

Haruka pulled away from the kiss, and briefly flashed a smile before untying
the bow that was at the back of Michiru's kimono. The material had become oddly
stifling for the smaller woman, and Haruka knew it. Michiru's hands untied the
obi of Haruka's wardrobe as well. Their passion was mounting and with each
passing moment, their hands worked faster to remove each other's clothes, their
lips meeting again and again in quick kisses.

Michiru pushed Haruka onto the futon and straddled the taller woman's waist,
the contact of flesh against flesh sending an electric thrill through them. A
husky groan escaped Haruka. Calloused hands caressed the swell of Michiru's
breasts and the aqua-haired woman moaned in ecstasy. Their hands traveled down
the miles of smooth flesh and felt their nerves jump at the touch.

"Michi..."

Slender digits trailed up of Haruka's skin and teased the soft tips of her
nipples to hard pebbles, all the while Michiru's lips were placing feather like
kisses along Haruka's neck. Haruka arched into the touch, which also made her
mound press into Michiru's. The unexpected contact sent another bolt of white
hot pleasure through their veins. Michiru moaned and lightly bit into the pale
skin of her lover.

Their unified harsh breaths echoed in the small room as they made love to each
other, unaware of the dangers that lurked around them. As they reached the
ultimate pinnacle together, crying out each other's name, the crows cawed
outside.

* * * * *

Concern and panic were etched into the beautiful visage as she walked around
the town, calling the name that rolled from her tongue. "Usagi! Usagi!"

"Dammit, where can she be?!" Rei hissed.

She walked past the mouth of an alley, looking around for any signs of her
slender blond lover. When the dim light caught a shiny object, it caught her
eye and she turned to find the edge of a katana protruding from somewhere in
the alley.

With great care and caution, she stepped towards the alley and called, "Who's
there?"

"R-Rei?" a weak voice called.

"Usagi!" Rei gasped.

Squinting to see in the darkness, she found the blond huddled against the wall,
looking tired and very weak. She immediately knelt down to help Usagi onto her
feet.

"We were worried about you," Rei said softly, but harshly. "When you didn't
come back, I came out to look for you."

"I'm sorry..." Usagi whispered hoarsely.

Rei slung one of Usagi's arms over her own shoulders and began to slowly aid
Usagi on their trek home. Usagi limped as she walked, refusing to use Rei as a
support. Berating the blond on having common courtesy to warn them next time if
she would be leaving, they made their way back to the house.

The two of them looked up to find a figure standing there. Usagi, too tired to
care, had her head down as she was being forcibly supported by Rei.

"Hello Matokori-san. It's been a long time," the figure murmured.

At this, Usagi's head snapped up, her blue eyes widened for a fraction before
settling back into their distant, guarded prussian blue. Tension sang through
the blond's veins as she took in the elfin features of the figure. Blue eyes,
blue hair and a cold smile upon the stranger's lips. Confused as to who this
person was, Rei wisely chose to remain silent.

"Hello Ami."


* * END CHAPTER VII * *

*NOTE: This chapter contains lemon content. Proceed at your own discretion.*

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H E A R T S O F S W O R D S

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"Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised
It got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouln't even reconize me anymore..."

Chapter VIII - Regrets
[Sengoku Period, 1512]


Blue eyes were blazing with a furious cold fire as they bored into a pair of
identical blue eyes. The slim figure that stood in front of them was exuding a
cold charm which sent a shiver down Rei's spine. There was much tension between
the two of them.

"It's been two long years," Usagi murmured softly.

"Not long enough," Ami replied coldly.

The blond had no answer and remained standing there. Rei, feeling that there
was an uneasy history between the two, remarked, "We need to enter our house."

Ami nodded curtly. "Tomorrow, midnight. You know where I'll be."

"I'm not going Ami," Usagi said softly, yet firmly. "I am staying to defend
Kyoto."

"The only reason Kyoto was attacked was because of you," Ami spat. "You were
the reason we had to send men; to lure you out. I knew all along it was you. So
be happy in the knowledge that the men who died while defending Kyoto died
because of you."

Suddenly angry that someone would dare disrespect her lover, the dark-haired
Rei stepped in and shouted, "I don't care who you are! Leave her alone! She's
suffered enough!"

"Rei-chan, please. I...I will do as she asks," Usagi whispered, her voice too
low and subdued to hear, "because it is all I can do after abandoning her."

The blue haired girl gave no response as she strode past them, glaring coldly
and the small blond before disappearing into the darkness. Not minding the rude
blue haired girl, she ushered the injured and exhausted Usagi into the house.
In a few minutes, the blond was bundled in a yukata and fast asleep. Shaking
her head ruefully, Rei also slipped into her own yukata and crawled in next to
her sleeping girlfriend.

Both of them drifted off into slumber.

* * * * *

When morning came, the blond was already up and had cooked breakfast. When Rei
and the others came into the room, guided by the smell of the food, they saw
the small figure walk out the front door. The shoji slid shut and they stood
there confused. A concerned and pained look crossed Rei's face before she sat
down to eat. The others warily followed the dark haired girl's example. None of
them dared ask what was the matter.

Outside, Usagi made her way to her sanctuary, which happened to be a small
isolated part at the edge of town. Hidden by the cherry blossom trees, Usagi
began to meditate, the falling blossoms blowing by her. The slightly chilled
air of the approaching autumn sent the long pigtails of her hair fluttering in
the passing breeze.

She knew that she deserved Ami's animus against her. They had been comrades and
sisters-in-arms against the majority of Shogunate and Fukushima clan samurai,
as well as various other clans, but in a moment of weakness, she, Tsukino Usagi
had abandoned her dear friend and sister at the hands of the enemy. It was the
highest degree of dishonor that she could ever commit.

The memories of their shared joy, pain and anguish assaulted her mind and she
could feel the powerful torrent of emotions raging within her. Was she capable
of such dishonor and cowardice? In both of their darkest moments, she had left
Ami behind to escape for herself. She had been selfish and weak-minded. So she
resolved herself to accept whatever punishment Fate had in store for her. There
was nothing more or less that she could do.

It seemed that her mind was becoming weaker with each passing day. She felt the
tears burning at the back of her eyes, threatening to spill over. For the first
time in a long time, she felt helpless and weak. It was not the fact that she
would be fighting her friend, but rather that she had inadvertantly dragged her
lover and her friends into the twisted mess that her life was.

However, she knew that fighting her dear friend Ami would not show mercy to
someone who had betrayed her. Betrayal was always dealt with a swift death, and
those who were betrayed would always carry that mark for life. Usagi knew that
she had irrevocably changed her friend for life.

Nothing would ever let her forget the betrayal she had committed. It was the
worst kind of betrayal that a samurai could ever commit, abandoning a comrade
to the enemies. If there was any honor left in Usagi, she would commit senpuku
to honor the code of the samurai.

'I have already broken the code of the samurai,' Usagi thought bitterly. 'I am
not supposed to have a home, enemies or friends. I am a disgrace to the title
of a samurai.'

Daisho clutched in her trembling hands, she glared with anger, bitterness and
sorrow at the matching blades. They symbolized everything that she was and
wasn't. She was a samurai, and yet she was not. She had broken the code of the
samurai, but she fought for rightenousness and the Ishida clan's okashira for
the chance to overthrow the Ashikaga Shogunate and begin a new era for Japan.

With her concentration broken, she stood up only to climb into the branches of
the cherry blossom tree to look out towards the vast stretch of the plains and
the forest in the horizon. She loved cherry blossoms, having been the first
thing she had seen that was burned into her memory forever. She loved them, and
she knew that her mother and older brother had also loved them. The pink
blossoms reminded her of the days when she had still been an innocent child. A
time lost to the burnt ashes of her past.

Errant locks of her long platinum blond hair caressed her soft cheek before
settling back to their original place. Blue eyes were faraway as she became
lost in her past. There was no living soul alive that knew of her true past,
the only exception being Ami and her former lover.

Sighing deeply in regret, she remained on her perch, the branches of the sakura
trees. Her katana and wakizachi were back in their regular place at Usagi's obi
clad waist. Eyes fluttering shut, she tried to find peace within her but found
none.

And in that position, she fell into a troubled slumber.

* * * * *

She hadn't anticipated the swift rush of *raw* emotion upon laying her eyes on
her old friend for the first time in two, long years. To many people, that did
not seem like a very big time span, but for someone who had been imprisoned in
their mind and body, it was as if a millenia had passed by.

How she despised and yet loved that small little girl she had met as a child.
Those deep, murky blue eyes always full of love and compassion, now hardened to
the world like cold, glittering diamonds. The same girl who had protected her
through and through, only to abandon her in the end.

It wasn't exactly hatred she felt. She could never hate her, but rather a deep
disappointment. If anything, she knew that Usagi believed that she hated her,
but Mizuno Ami knew that she could never hate the one who had saved her from a
dark depression and showed her love.

'Back then, she wasn't innocent...but she could still love. Now, now I wonder
if she can feel anything in her cold, broken heart...' Ami mused thoughtfully.

Even though Ami knew that she couldn't let herself trust her again, she could
not help but be mesmerised by the vision of the blond. Her ethereal beauty was
still unquestionably evident. Those blue eyes tinted with the lightest hint of
silver, her long blond hair, and those pouting pink lips.

'I wonder if those lips are still velvet soft...' Ami pondered. 'NO! I can't
think of her like that! It's over! It was over when...'

Refusing to finish the thought, she whirled around to watch the occupants of
the small house. She noted with special interest that the black-haired girl who
had aided the blond was also there, looking worried. Snorting derisively, she
let her attention wander to the other occupants...

...and her eyes widened in surprise as they fell upon a tall, shapely brunette.

Entranced by the sight of the brunette, she carefully but warily made her way
closer to the house to perhaps hear the voice of the brunette. And when she did
hear the voice, her heart stopped.

'It couldn't be...'

'Makoto...'

Could it be possible that Usagi had somehow managed to save Makoto from the
invasion that had surely burned the tall brunette's village into the ground? If
that was the case, then perhaps a compromise could be forged. If there was
someone that Ami could love more than Usagi, it was Makoto. The headstrong and
maternal brunette that had saved her from the countless nights of rejection and
pain from Minako, and replaced the aching pain with love. How she had missed
the brunette when she had heard the name of Makoto's village as the target for
their next raid.

Sighing quietly, she moved back to her original spot to observe the household
again.

* * * * *

Makoto shuddered as she felt an odd presence near the house.

'I wonder what that was...'

* * * * *

Frustrated that Usagi had once again disappeared into the streets, she set out
to find her introspective blond. Since Usagi's meeting with the stranger called
Ami last night, Usagi had become much more reclusive, lost in her own thoughts
and in her memories. When Usagi thought that nobody was looking, all of them
could clearly see the anguish and hidden pain in her eyes. They never dared ask
about her past because they felt that it would only re-open old wounds, so they
refrained from asking.

None of them could shake off the effects of seeing the blond so helpless. In
the whole two months that they had known this lithe blond, she had subtly made
a large impact in their minds and hearts, and found that seeing her in any sort
of pain oddly made them want to find the one who caused that pain and rip them
to shreds and leave the remains for the birds.

It was quite unnerving when they realized just how easily the blond had invaded
their lives and had anchored them all together, like a true family. Setsuna was
their mother figure, while Haruka and Makoto were the troublesome and Michiru
was slightly reserved, but no less warm and friendly with a dose of sarcastic
humor. Rei was the most reserved, with acerbic comments flying left and right,
but when it came to Usagi, Rei was as pliant as clay and warm like a fire. In
the short span of time that they had all lived together, Usagi had had amazing
effects on Rei, and vice versa.

How ironic it was that the one who showed the least emotion could invoke so
much emotion in others.

The silence was suffocating. It smothered them and made them dwell on things
that should have been laid to rest. All of their lives were filled with anguish
and loss. Pain. So much pain and yet not enough care in the world for it to be
banished.

But someone cared. Even though they could not always see it as caring, but
someon truly cared. It didn't have to be an offering of a shoulder to cry on or
a body to love, or a heart to treasure, but someone truly cared. Cared enough
to vow herself and her life to protecting what little fragile hope there was
left for a better tomorrow.

That someone was Usagi.

Introverted, scarred Usagi, who carried a lifetime's worth of scars, both
mental and physical, cared more than anyone else that they knew or had known.
Having no care for herself or her own life, she threw herself into the unknown
depths of blood, death and chaos just so that someone who had been like her as
a child would not have to feel the profound loss and pain at having a family or
a lover, a brother or a friend ripped away from them for all eternity. Usagi's
beliefs in preserving the light of the innocent would be a legacy that they
would never forget. And yet in all of its ironic glory, in this vow to save the
people from losing a loved one, she was putting those same loved ones to their
deaths. How could someone live with such decisions and burdens upon their
shoulders?

What made it all the more frustrating and yet oddly humorous was that no matter
how strong they were, they couldn't help Usagi. They were so close, yet so far
from comprehending who and what Usagi was. So they sat by silently, knowing
that Usagi, like she had said, would always and forever be alone to fight her
own battles.

That thought aside, the others went about to their daily rituals. It was Makoto
and Setsuna's turn this day to find their daily provisions. Haruka and Michiru
would do the chores along with Rei. They knew that Usagi would turn up sooner
or later.

Rei couldn't help but feel frustrated at her small lover for being so distant
with them all. Couldn't she let them into her life? They were all friends, a
*family*. Pressuring the blond would result in a standoff without progress. She
sighed heavily before trudging alongside Michiru to help with the cleaning. It
would have been fruitless to search for her small lover, anyways.

* * * * *

[***1510, Kamakura, Japan. Kanagawa Prefecture.***]

I stand at the large window, the cold winter breeze caresses my slight form.
The fire crackles merrily in the room and I sigh in quiet resignation. There is
so much that I can be doing right now. I want to be out there in the cold,
feeling the freezing numbness seep into my skin. Why? Because that is the only
thing that I want to feel. Nothing. He tortures me so, so I will feel nothing
than to feel the excruciating torture he puts me through.

He comes to me at that moment, I can feel his presence in the room. Granted,
our meeting hadn't been the most eventful or romantic of meetings, but when we
had finally stopped seeing each other through hatred and through eyes of human
beings, we saw what we couldn't see before; attraction, lust, passion and
longing. I long for him, yearn to smooth away the haunted look in his face and
to become lost in his strong arms and ocean blue eyes. I want to feel his lips
against my own and to feel the warm skin underneath my hands and to feel that
warm skin move against my own skin.

Tonight, I will not let him hesitate. He has already pulled away from me but I
will not let it happen again. I will make the first move, and I will get my way
this time. I want him. I will give myself to him, only if he will take it.

"Mamoru." I say softly, my voice ringing with quiet but deadly conviction and
wanting.

In the space of a heartbeat, he is behind me and I can feel his arms wrapping
around my slight waist. (He was at that time, much more experienced in the art
of sex and seduction than I, but if there was something that he couldn't resist,
it was my voice and my body. He always called it perfection, but I called it a
ruined work. But yet, he came to me freely and with much wanton lust as I held
for him and it made all the difference.) His lips are raining soft caresses
against the soft skin of my neck and makes my hairs stand on end. Goosebumps
break out in waves as I shudder in an impassioned delight against his strong
body. I am helplessly trapped within his iron embrace, and despite my fear, I
don't mind. Not him. Never him. I want to be trapped in his embrace forever.

My eyes flutter shut as I shiver against him, my hands clenching the ones that
imprison me against his wonderfully sculpted body. I twist around in the
embrace and press my lips against his. I will never tell a soul as to who I had
learned to kiss from. I can feel his need, his overwhelming lust and tender
passion in that one kiss. And I reply with my own passion, fervor and raw need.
He is creating a fierce maelstrom of emotions within me and I want, no, *need*
him to abate it.

His hands roam my small body with infinite tenderness and care, and I know that
I respond to his ardent touch with soft sounds which escapes from my throat and
also with my own caresses of his exposed skin. My fingers, calloused as they
may be, trace soft and tender paths at his throat, and my lips follow the path
that I have created, and I can feel the vibration of his vocal chords under my
tongue. My hands work at his chainmail armor, and more of his skin become
exposed to my view. His smooth, tanned skin feels like warm steel. I want to
run my hands over them forever.

I feel his lips press against my ear and his husky voice whispers, "You are a
temptation indeed."

He nibbles on my earlobe and unties the obi that holds my kimono to me. The
material slides loose sensuously and I smooth my palm over his dark nipples, I
hear him groan in his throat and I smile against the skin of his neck. My hands
are endless in their fluid movements over the expanse of his torso. He is a
beautiful, handsome man. Ebony black stands of his hair tickle me as his lips
become vagabond and seeks to explore each and every inch of my skin. I feel so
much and yet it isn't enough. It will never be enough.

As if the ghost of my past comes to remind me, the face that I love contorts
and twists into the faceless men that had violated me. He murmurs and then
places a hand on my breast. "I won't hurt you. Trust me, I will *never* hurt
you."

This is the point of no return. I cannot let my fear hinder me in becoming one
with him. "I trust you."

Our lips meet once more in a heated tussle for supremacy. His tongue invades my
mouth and I let him plunder the depths of my mouth while I find myself becoming
addicted to the taste of his lips and his mouth. My body arches against his of
its own volition and I can hear him groan in sweet agony. The kimono slides off
my shoulders and now I am naked before him. My lips curve into a slow, sensuous
smile as I wrap my arms around him. On my toes, I nibble on his earlobe as I
remove the last of his garments. My pelvis gyrated against his thigh, what a
picture I must make: my head thrown back, eyes closed and mouth open to moan in
sheer ecstasy. I can hear his impassioned groan and a slow smile traces the
curve of my lips.

"You don't know what you do to me..." he hisses into my ear.

A low moan escapes me as he shifts his thigh, brushing against the sensitive
bud hidden below. I clutch him tighter to me as his hands come up to caress the
swell of my breasts. He stirs a maelstrom of pleasure within me and I want to
be lost in the apex of it all for all eternity. His touch is like sin, full of
tenderness and promises of gentleness, reassurance and love, and yet steeped in
passion and deceitful lust. It is too much for me and yet, I want more of this
lustful sin. I want to burn in this sin forever, if it would mean that I could
feel this excruciating pleasure forever.

My skin tingles at the press of his velvet lips on my collarbone. A thrill of
pleasure runs through my body as his lips go lower. I cannot bear this sweet
torture no more. I run my hands down the hard, muscular planes of his body and
wondrously caress the warm hardness that presses against my stomach and I can
feel his muscles jump at the contact and his husky groan sends more shivers
through my body.

"Make me yours tonight Mamoru..." I whisper into his ear. "If I cannot live to
see past my youth, at least let me share this special night with you. Possess
me and love me tonight, even if it is only tonight."

I can feel his lips curve into a smile against my skin and he looks up at me
with his stormy midnight blue eyes. They are filled with so many emotions, but
I can see the love and his passion, it is undeniable. He murmurs to me softly.
"I will love you tonight, and if you will let me, I will love you beyond time,
if you will have me."

Before I can think of a response to his impassioned soliloquy, he enters me in
one, smooth stroke and my body arches convulsively. The pleasure...it is pure
and raw, and so undescribably wonderful. This time, there is no pain, just
pleasure. I hear a faint low moan from somewhere far away, and it dawns on me
that it is my voice that moans with such passion and longing.

With a gentle yet fiery passion that I had never experienced, he thrusts into
me, and begins to show me the true depth and profound completeness when two
lovers unite as one. My vision becomes blurry and time seems so insignificant
in this moment of passion. As I feel my brink is coming nearer with each thrust
and tender caress of his hands, all I can feel is him within me.

And that is all that I ever want to feel.

Then, completion washes over us as we cry out in unison. Unbidden, the words I
had dared not breathe in my life tumble from my lips in this moment. "Aishiteru
Mamoru!"

And then a white light fills my vision and I am aware of nothing else but my
climax.

* * * * *

Startled from her sleep by a cold breeze, she looked up to find that the sun
would be dipping below the horizon soon. Sighing quietly, she agilely jumped
down to the ground, her slippers making contact with a 'slap' noise. She would
not have much time to spend with her lover.

It was surprising to her that she would dream about the man who had cruelly
spurned her love and broke her heart. In that pain, she had turned to another,
and it was that clandestine fling full of love that she found the strength and
the resolve to continue her journey. Of course, it turned out later that her
lover was already involved with another woman, namely her blue-haired companion
and sister-at-arms, Mizuno Ami. Fate had broken her beyond repair that night
and in her state of heartache and pain, she had abandoned Ami and had stolen
away.

Ami had all the right to detest her and even disgusted with her. She, Tsukino
Usagi, was a disgrace to the title "samurai". Mindlessly, she walked towards
the hovel she shared with those whom she had come to accept as her friends. It
was a dangerous thing; friendship had the power to create and destroy. To trust
others with her life was something she rarely did. Only once had she given that
trust, and it had been to Ami. Now, Ami would surely use that trust to stab her
in her weakness: Rei. Rei and the others were in grave danger.

Worrying for the safety of her lover, she ran quickly to the house and breathed
a sigh of relief when she noticed everything was still in order. She quickly
walked in and made her way towards the bedroom. Haruka and Setsuna watched the
blond walk past them without a word and curiously wondered what could have
happened that would put such an expression of concern on the normally impassive
girl's face.

Prussian blue met amethyst and Rei's soft voice was laced with hurt, worry and
anger. "Where were you?"

"I..."

"You've been pushing me away and it hurts, Usagi. I love you. I want to help
you. Talk to me, tell me what's wrong," Rei pleaded. "I feel as if I barely
know you."

"I'm sorry Rei," Usagi murmured apologetically. "I know you want to get to know
me, and I want to get to know you as well, but these are dangerous times. You
can be lost to me at any moment and I fear that so greatly. My demons are mine
to battle and defeat, Rei."

"Let me help you," Rei repeated. "I may be young, but I *do* know what love is,
and I know what strength is. Don't you understand how much I love you?"

"Your love and your fire is a strength that I can never comprehend," came the
cryptic reply. "The only thing that keeps me alive is vengeance and my will to
live. And that is a stronger force than anything else save love. My love for
you, for my dead family, for Haruka, Michiru, Makoto, Setsuna and my desire for
peace is what keeps me going. For that, I will sacrifice anything to make it so
because I am a tool of destiny to shape the future. With love I shall shape the
future."

Speechless at the blond's passionate speech, Rei embraced the older girl and
nuzzled the crown of platinum blond hair. The scent of vanilla and a hint of
a unique scent filled her senses and for a brief moment, she lost herself in
the moment. It would be the last peaceful moment they would have together. It
seemed that Usagi had also picked up on this and turned to face Rei.

"Tonight will be the last night I spend here for a long time. I do not know
when I will be returning from Kamakura. So tonight, let me lie with you. I wish
to become one with you, Hino Rei," Usagi murmured softly.

"Usagi..."

Their lips met in a passionate lock and she knew that this time, there was no
turning back.

* * * * *

Blue eyes closed in defeat and regret as she turned away from the wall. It was
done. She had found the weakness, and it would not be long before it would be
exploited to bend the warrior to their will. That was the wish of the okashira,
and she would not disobey him. As much as she furiously willed herself to be
indifferent and hold animosity against the small blond, she found that there
was just something about the warrior formerly known as Matokori Usagi that was
simply...alluring. Seductive and calling to one like a temptress. It was a
heady, overwhelming feeling of...love, in a sense. It frightened her that no
matter what happened between the two of them, she could not hate Usagi. Never.
It sounded ludicrous to her ears!

That was how she found herself in her present position; trapped between her
love for her friend and her loyalty to her leader. So she chose to serve duty
before her personal needs, just as Usagi had done.

"There are no alternatives..." she murmured to herself, desperately wondering
why she couldn't bring herself to believe it.

* * * * *

Rei's eyes were wide with surprise, hope, longing and lust as they stared back
into a pair of impassioned, dark blue eyes. Hesitation was not present in the
blond's body language, only the tense anticipation of the night's activities to
come. Shivering under the piercing, intense pools of blue searing into her soul
and touching her deepest part, she nodded her assent.

"Aishiteru Usagi...zutto...aishiteru..."

Deft hands came up to cup the curves of the dark haired girl's face, and unlike
the previous kiss, this one was full of tenderness and love. With all that she
could muster from her soul, she returned the kiss with equal fervor. When their
lips ceased their heated contact, Rei was breathless and yearning for more.

Being more experienced and skilled, Usagi's hands were like rivulets of smooth
liquid as they glided across her exposed skin, the yukata having been undone
and discarded carelessly near the futon. Usagi was still dressed in her hakama,
but that would soon change. Rei's hands made quick work of the obi and in a
fleeting moment, both of them were bared fully to each other. The soft, supple
curves of the taller girl beckoned her to touch them, to run hands along them.
The creamy smooth skin glowed in the soft moonbeams; their shadows flickered
against the walls as the lamp cast the room in a tender glow and heat.

"Kirei..." a soft breath.

Calloused fingertips caressed the alabaster skin of Rei's breasts, causing the
younger to shiver as electricity passed through the contact. In a heartbeat,
soft lips pressed against the blond haired samurai; blue eyes widened in shock
but soon fluttered closed as she relished the passionate kiss. Fire burned
within them and in the face of such powerful passion, they sunk to their knees,
embracing each other.

With dexterous movements that seemed almost innate, Usagi's lips were upon the
nape of the dark haired girl's neck, nibbling and biting on the pale skin
lightly and then soothing it with her tongue. Rei's head tilted to the left,
leaving a larger expanse of skin for her lover. A husky moan forced its way
from her throat, the feel of lips against the sensitized skin evoking sounds
that she had never thought she could utter.

"Watasi wo anata ni fureru koto wo kyoka sinasai..." Rei pleaded softly, unable
to handle the delicious torture and wanting to repay the work.

"You needn't ask of me for permission," Usagi murmured, her voice a low, husky
and sensuous. It sent thrills of pleasure down Rei's spine.

Rei's hands caressed the curves of the slender blond, whose body, more built
with sinewy bands of packed muscle, was smaller than her own but just as
shapely. Usagi's milky pale skin was marred almost invisibly by various scars,
the most prominent one being the large gash that ripped a diagonal path down
the length and width of her back. The pale skin contrasted well with her sunny
blond hair.

Knees trembled and lips quivered as Usagi's warm tongue painted a path down to
her collarbone, and then to her nipples. Rei threw her head back and cried out
in ecstasy; nothing had ever felt so good, so real, so erotic. Usagi pushed the
girl down onto the futon, her lips, her tongue and her hands ceaseless in their
movements. Arching involuntarily into the erotic caresses, Rei was rendered
helpless as Usagi's fingers made their way lower.

"Usagi...onegai..."

Pleading, and yet unable to comprehend what she was asking for, Rei followed
her instincts and arched into the warmth that was Usagi. The blond's smile that
followed was full of a tenderness which stole the dark haired girl's breath.
The expression of honesty, compassion, trust and love made her heart lurch in
joy.

Usagi's breath caught as she felt Rei's vagabond fingers press into a sensitive
spot under her ribs and giggled. Amethyst eyes widened in delighted surprise,
and before Rei could exploit the ticklish spot that she had, she pressed her
thumb against the small bundle of nerves hidden between her legs. Rei's hips
bucked convulsively as a surprised whimper escaped the dark haired girl's lips.

An almost feral smile traced the curve of Usagi's pink lips before spread Rei's
legs wide and placed them on her shoulders. The hidden regions of Rei's body
were displayed wantonly for Usagi to see and the blond's breath hitched. A dark
fire of desire and lust burned in blue eyes. Rei trembled in anticipation, and
was not disappointed as Usagi's lips touched the wet lips. A spike of pleasure
stabbed into her sensitive body and she cried out.

Amethyst met blue for a fleeting moment and Usagi could see the pleasure in the
purple depths, with innocence and fear tinting the edges of her eyes. Usagi had
no doubt now that Rei was indeed a virgin, but not in the physical sense.

Her tongue darted out to taste the warm offering from Rei's body and she could
hear Rei's soft whimper as the sharp tang spread across her tongue. It was
slightly bittersweet but had an alluring taste that her body hungered for. In
another heartbeat, she opened Rei's womanhood to her eyes and blew across them
softly, reveling in the sounds and the movements that her partner made.

The world melted into a formless blur before her eyes as she looked up at the
blur while emitting soft, undecipherable noises to encourage her lover. Usagi's
warm tongue was welcomed and hungered. Spike and wave of pleasure mounted upon
her inexperienced body and before she knew it, she shuddered and with a loud
scream, she was thrown over the edge and hurtled into the depths of her climax.
Her body arched off of the futon, muscles locked in the timeless moment of her
orgasm.

A hot rush of liquid flooded into Usagi's mouth and she swallowed quickly. Rei
had reached her climax. 'That was quick...' Rei's body shuddered around her,
and she crawled back up to embrace the younger girl. Involuntary tremors shook
the dark haired girl and Usagi pulled her closer to her.

It was almost midnight.

* * * * *

After ensuring that Rei was sound asleep in the futon, Usagi stole away from
the room and quickly made her way to the promised meeting place. Upon arriving
at the location, she found two mares waiting for them.

"Did you enjoy your last night of freedom?" Ami queried harshly.

"I have never known the meaning of freedom," Usagi replied monotonously. "If
anything, the only freedom I know of is death."

"You're a disgrace," Ami spat.

"I know." Usagi answered quietly.

The two of them mounted the mares and rode away from Kyoto, the full moon
watching as the two females rode into the plains towards Kamakura. The beams of
the moon fell upon the sleeping girl who snuggled closer to a lover.

A lover who did not exist.

And as they rode, Usagi's last thoughts were of Rei.

'I'm so sorry...so sorry that I had to leave you...so sorry that I have to hurt
you like this. Never forget me, Rei.'

'Aishiteru.'

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E N D C H A P T E R V I I I
--------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------

Author's Notes:

This is by far, the longest out of the chapters, only because it has two lemon
scenes in it. :P And even *those* were mediocre at half-best. -_-;; I have
never been so stuck on lemon scenes in my life, but because I must stick to a
specific sort of behaviour pattern, I had to limit most of my options. Also,
Usagi had a deadline to meet, so I couldn't really make it stretch out as much
as I wanted it to be.

This is one of the rare times when Usagi is the dominant one during lovemaking.
I've seen various stories were Usagi does take the lead, but is potrayed very
poorly. Hopefully, this won't fit into that category. I've potrayed Rei as the
not-so-dominant in lovemaking, because she doesn't have the experience that
Usagi has. Usagi has been with both Mamoru and Minako, and also has "other"
experience. If it seems *that* OOC, I'll revise it. By the way, take note that
Usagi hasn't said the words "I love you" directly to Rei. That fact becomes
very important in the chapters to come.

Also, a huge thanks goes out to my friend Zhian who was helpful enough to be a
Japanese translator for me. :) Although I told her that a "friend" wanted the
translation, it was mainly for me. (This "friend" is my alter ego; the writer.)
Thank you Zee! Thanks for being willing to teach me Japanese too! Love you! ^^

Finally, I'd like to dedicate this part to those who have been lost on the
tragic day of September 11th, 2001. Not because it was convenient for me that I
finished the story on September 11th, 2002, but because as I wrote this, I was
thinking about the lives lost on that day. It has *nothing* to do with the
tragedy, but nonetheless, I want people to know that although I'm not American
and it doesn't affect me the same way it does for those who have personally
experienced it, I can and do sympathize with losing a loved one. For their sake
and yours, live your life because they can't live theirs anymore. It is up to
*you* to live their life for them, because you're alive and can do, see, hear
and experience things that they won't.

[E-mail: sherazard_@hotmail.com]
[Website: http://ashura.br0ken.org]
[Weblog: http://ashura.blogspot.com]

1st draft: Completed. (09.11.2002)

TRANSLATION:

yukata - A robe worn to bed, like a nightgown.
shoji - A screen door made with a wood frame and rice-paper.
senpuku - A ritual suicide that samurai committed. It was believed that samurai
would rather kill themselves than be captured.
daisho - A matching set of short and long blades carried by the samurai.
shogunate - The samurai army of the government.
sakura - Cherry blossom
okashira - Leader
onegai - Please (ie./ "Could you do this for me, please?")
aishiteru - I love you
zutto - Forever
kirei - Beautiful
Watasi wo anata ni fureru koto wo kyoka sinasai - I want to touch you.
(Literal translation: Give me permission to touch you/I want permission to
touch you.)

Resources:

http://home.austin.rr.com/scajapan/HISTO RY.HTM
http://victorian.fortunecity.com/duchamp/410/shogun.html
htt p://home.earthlink.net/~steinrl/glossary.htm