Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Moon Princess in Gotham ❯ The Joker is Wild! ( Chapter 6 )

I do not own Batman or any of the related characters. They are the property of D.C. Comics and Warner Bros. I also don't own Sailor Moon-and if you thought I did, you belong in Arkham Asylum with whoever thinks labor unions guarantee job security.

 

 

Chapter Five: The Joker is Wild!

 

“Well, Jadeite?” Queen Beryl asked. “How do you explain you failure now? Not only do we have a third Sailor girl to deal with now, but for the second time that boy, whom I hear is called Robin, has helped them foil your operations!”

“Your Majesty,” Jadeite said, “all he did both times was provide a distraction-.”

“Which he does very well!” Queen Beryl roared. “I've seen the images of him against both Gorgana and Lanai, and neither could get a hand on him! I have to wonder about the quality of the youma under your command.”

Jadeite dipped his head in submission. “Your Majesty, I admit to failure. But I have a new plan-.”

“Which will likely fail.” The queen interrupted.

“There are two emotions which cause humans to expend enormous amounts of energy. One is greed; the other is fear. I have devised a plan to make use of both of these. For greed, I am opening up in Gotham City a gambling house that is called a casino. As the patrons gamble for large sums of money, they will give more and more of their energy.”

Queen Beryl smiled; Jadeite's plan did sound promising. “And the fear?”

“For that,” Jadeite smiled, “I've made plans to use another of those twisted lunatics for which Gotham City has become so famous for.”

 

“All right, Joker,” the shotgun toting guard said as he opened the door to the Arkham Asylum rec-room, “you may come in, but I've got buddies in there to keep an eye on you and the other sickos.”

“Sure thing, officer,” the Joker giggled. In the three months since the Batman had sent him back here, he'd behaved himself very well-although to his disappointment no-one died from the shock.

The elite of Gotham's criminally insane were inside. Jonathon Crane and Edward Nygma were sitting at a table to the side engaged in a game of chess. Arnold Whesker and his puppet Scarface were at another playing Solitare. Pamela Isley, known as Poison Ivey to the press, was sitting on the T.V. couch watching a gardening show.

And on the opposite side of the room, sitting by himself and staring at a pocket sized photograph, was the former District Attorney Harvey Dent, A.K.A Two-Face.

The Joker walked over to the man who once had prosecuted him. “Hello Harv,” he said in his cheeriest voice, “how have the two of you been?”

Two-Face looked up from his picture; the expression on the right side of his face made it almost as ugly as the acid-scarred left. “Get out of my face clown, or you'll wish I had gotten you the death penalty.” he snarled.

“Which one?” Two Face didn't say a word, but looked back at the photo.

Seeing he couldn't get a rise out of ex-D.A. turned lunatic crime boss, the Joker turned around. “Two personalities and neither of them has a sense of humor.”

The Clown Prince of Crime watched over to the television and changed the channel. “Hey!” Poison Ivey shouted, “I was watching that!”

“And now you're watching this.” The Joker plopped down in the seat next to the plant lady.

Poison Ivey shouted “Guard!”

“Pipe down, or you both go back to your cells!” the rec-room guard said as he hefted his shotgun. Seeing he wouldn't help her, Poison Ivey crossed her arms and slumped back in the catch.

It was the local news. “This is Summer Gleason with Gotham's Channel 6,” the news lady said, “coming to you live at the Gotham Waterfront, for the grand opening of new resident billionaire Cameron Kaiser's casino resort.”

She turned her microphone to a tall thirtyish looking man with curly blond hair. “Kaiser, exactly how much did you sink in to building this place?”

“Two, three billion?” the man shrugged. I really didn't pay attention to the details. The important thing is that my guests enjoy themselves-and make me even richer,” he added, which drew guffaws from the crowd.

Bruce Wayne happened to be standing nearby, with Trista Miouh holding his arm. Right behind them were Bruce's wards Serena and Dick Grayson, and Serena's friends Amy Anderson and Raye Hino.

Miss Gleason turned to Bruce and Trista. “Mr. Wayne, Ms. Miouh, any idea on what the theme for Mr. Kaiser's casino?”

Trista shook her head. “Look's like we're about to find out.” Bruce said.

The cameras turned and saw Kaiser pick up a large pair of scissors. “Ladies and Gentlemen, may I please welcome you,” he opened the scissors and cut the ribbon holding the large curtain over the building, “to JOKER'S WILD!”

Everyone assembled on the waterfront gasped. The castle shaped building was a deep purple, and next to the gateway was huge flashing pole with a twirling bust of the Joker going HA HA HA HA HA.

“How disgusting,” Miss Gleason murmured.

“Miss Gleason, we're on the air.”

“Oh.” Summer Gleason turned her microphone to Bruce and Trista. “Any words on the unusual theme?”

“No comment,” was all Bruce said. Trista nodded in firm agreement.

“Talk about tasteless,” one of the girls behind them said.

Two-Face suddenly looked at the television screen. Raye? He looked back at the picture in his hand. It was his former self, a young Japanese woman, and a ten year old girl. Raye.

Ms. Gleason brought the camera back to Kaiser. “Uh, Mr. Kaiser? Why build a casino seemingly in honor of one of Gotham City's most notorious mass-murderers?”

Summer, please,” Kaiser shrugged, “the joker is a classic symbol long associated with cards and games. I can't help it if there's some passing resemblance to some criminal-.

Kaiser's last sentence was broke off by a brick going through the Arkham rec-room TV.

“How dare that lout! Try to cash in on my image!” the Joker roared. “I'll protest! I'll sue! I'll rip his lungs out!” He then leered at Poison Ivey. “And I will, too.”

“Guards!” Poison Ivey called out.

 

“I can't believe it!” Raye cried to Serena and Amy in the room Bruce rented for them at the small hotel that joined the new casino. “The Joker, of all people!”

“Ah, come on Raye.” Serena waved a hand. “We've got a free weekend at this place and you whine because it's themed after some lame clown?”

“Serena,” Amy said, “the Joker is more than a `lame clown.' He's a psychotic monster who's murdered a least a thousand people, stolen millions from Gotham City's banks and businesses, and once held half the city hostage. It boggles the mind why anyone would want to name anything after him.”

“It's likely more than that.” Luna got out from under Serena's bed. “When I looked at Mr. Kaiser, I got this strange feeling. Like he could be one of the enemy. I think this bears checking into.”

Across the hall, Bruce had just finished putting away all his and Dick's clothes. “I can see why you sent Trista home, but why are we staying here? I mean, the décor isn't exactly your taste.” Dick waved his hands at the wallpaper decorated with various images and profiles of the Joker. “And why didn't you send Serena and her friends home too?”

“Your sister's brought her grades up a little-,

“Yeah, to a C- average,” Dick muttered under his breath.

“-and so she deserves a little break. And as to your first question, I don't think Kaiser originally planned to build a Joker-themed Casino.”

“What makes you say that?” Dick asked.

“Just call it a hunch,” Bruce said as he pulled back a piece of wallpaper. Underneath was another style of wallpaper-one of medieval scenes and knights on horseback.

 

The Joker was outside; as a penalty for breaking the TV he had been assigned to garden duty. Which was just what he was hoping for.

“Okay,” he muttered loud enough for everyone with him to hear as he pulled up another weed, “so I broke the little boob tube. Is that enough reason to have me scratching at mud?”

SPLAT! The Joker rubbed the mud away from his face. Poison Ivey was grinning at him. “For once, you make me laugh.”

The Joker grimaced; unlike the other inmates, the plant lady actually volunteered for this. Suddenly he heard a truck coming up along the road.

“Well, I guess it's break time!” the Joker shouted as he got up and ran for the fence. He had inside his shirt a makeshift rope of torn sheets and handkerchiefs. He quickly tied his hand shovel around the end, twirled it, and threw it over the fence. The little shovel wrapped itself around the trucks rear view mirror. The Joker was pulled up over the fence and landed on top of the truck. Reaching inside, the crime clown grabbed the driver, tossed him outside onto the road, and drove off into Gotham City.

 

Raye was glum. Like any legitimate casino, Joker's Wild did not allow minors to gamble. With her psychic abilities that her grandfather had trained her in, she could have made a fortune.

“Cheer up,” Dick told her as they, Serena, and Amy walked down the hallways. “They do have a place for us too-we just can't make any money.”

“Easy for you to say.” Raye muttered. “You and Serena got a lot of money.”

“No, our guardian Bruce has a lot of money. Serena and I are broke.”

That last one actually got a laugh out of Raye.

The kids' section looked just like it said. A bunch of little rides and juvenile games too childish for Dick or the girls. Serena was overjoyed when she saw the video arcade. “Yay!” she cried, and then looked at her brother. “Uh, Dick, can I have some money?”

“Why? Bruce gave us both our allowance yesterday.”

“Serena slumped her shoulders. “I spent mine at the Crown Arcade after school. Please, give me some? I promise I'll do your homework for a month.”

“Don't threaten me like that!” Dick said in fear as he handed her a ten-dollar bill. “. I just made the honor roll this month. I can't afford to flunk.”

 

Bruce had changed into Batman and swung up to the penthouse right over the casino. Spying an open window, he lept inside and walked over to a small model of the casino in the middle of the room.

He reach for the model, and picking up the neon pole, saw it was just cover for another that had `Camelot' written over it.

Next to the model casino was a folder. Batman picked it up and saw it held Kaiser's financial records. “Building this-it's bankrupted him,” he said to himself as he flipped through the contents. Suddenly the contents changed-to pictures and records of the Joker's criminal career.

What could Kaiser be planning?

 

After Serena had blown the last of the money Dick gave her, they decided to explore the casino. They couldn't gamble, but at least they could watch.

The place was a riot of bizarre colors and flashing lights. All the casino employees were dressed in various clown outfits, with the blackjack dealers and table attendants dressed as none other than the Joker himself.

Dick looked at Serena. “Maybe you should get a job here, sis. Looks like your kind of place.”

“Please,” Serena waved her hand. “They all have their colors mismatched and the makeup's badly done. I've seen people at Halloween parties do it better!” The matter of fact professional way in which she spoke shocked Raye, who assumed Serena wouldn't speak like that about anything.

The doors to Joker's Wild opened and in walked its namesake. “Look at all this!” he smiled to himself. “It's an homage to me! What shame I have to blow it up.”

“Here!” a dealer who was dressed just like the Joker shoved a boxful of poker chips into his hands. “You're wanted on table six.”

The Joker looked down at the box and his scarlet mouth stretched across his pasty-white face. “Still, all work and no play-.”

“Hey boss,” a security guard called over to Cameron Kaiser-or rather Jadeite in Kaiser's guise, “take a look. There's something screwy going on over at table six.”

Jadeite looked at the security monitor. The dealer was playing a bunch of different guests-and cheating. “You want me to go down and warn him?”

“No,” Jadeite/Kaiser grinned; things were going according to plan. “Let him deal.”

The guard shrugged. “Okay, you're the boss.”

Jadeite was pleased with himself. That fool Cameron Kaiser was blowing his entire fortune just to build this place. He's done the billionaire a favor by killing him and taking over his identity.

 

The Joker had just cheated his latest round of casino patrons when a face everyone in Gotham knew walked over to his table. “Ah, Mr. Bruce Wayne. Why don't you have a seat?”

“All right,” Bruce had as he sat down. “And you are-?”

The Joker went through a variety of theatrical shuffling tricks as he dealt Bruce the cards “Oh just a nameless clown shuffling my life away.”

“Well I'd hate to do it in a setup like this,” Bruce said as he took the cards. “Imagine, just looking at that ugly clown every night of my life. It would drive me out of my mind.”

“Who says you got one?” the Joker muttered, then his eyes widened. He was sure he'd dealt Bruce low cards, but they all came back Kings, Queens, and Jacks.

Bruce smiled as he took the game chips in his hands. “A little something for the Wayne charity foundation.”

The Joker glowered as the billionaire walked away. “So this was how his family got so rich.”

Bruce had just finished cashing in his chips when Dick and the girls came up to him. “It's getting late kids.” he said. “I know we're booked for the whole weekend, but I'd suggest you pack up now. Alfred will come by in about an hour to pick you up.”

 

“I can't believe it!” Serena wailed as she finished putting her clothes in her suitcase. “We've only been here a day and now Bruce says we have to leave! Why'd he cut our vacation like that?”

“It does seem strange that he would want us to leave and he'd stay.” Amy mused.

“Well, it's probably for the best he wants you to leave, but I think we're going to need you girls.” The girls and Luna saw Robin sitting in the windowsill.

“Robin!” Raye said. “What are you doing here?”

“Batman's spotted the Joker-the real Joker-in this casino. He thinks that clown's going to blow this place up-and what's more, that Kaiser wants him to blow it up.”

“But that doesn't make any sense,” Raye said. “It must have cost Kaiser millions just to build this casino. Why would he want to destroy it?”

“To collect on the insurance, maybe?” Amy suggested.

“Perhaps,” Robin shrugged. “Right now Batman's headed for Kaiser's office. You girls want to help?”

 

Jadeite/Kaiser sat in the chair of Kaiser's office, making sure everything was in order. Already, energy was draining from the casino's patrons. And soon, very soon, more would be coming from the frightened residents of Gotham waterfront as the maniacal mountebank destroyed this building.

Suddenly the briefcase in front of him slammed shut. He looked up and grinned. “Ah, Batman.” The Dark Knight stood before the desk, with three sailor-suited girl right behind him. “And that silly girl Sailor Moon and her Moon Squad. This is quite an honor.”

“Enough chitchat Kaiser!” The slits in Batman's cowl narrowed. “You want this casino destroyed, don't you?”

“After putting two hundred million into building it? Any businessman who'd do that should locked up in Arkham!” Kaiser laughed.

“I looked at your portfolio.” Batman said. “I've seen the unpaid bills.”

Sailor Mercury stepped forward. “Are you trying to collect on the insurance, Mr. Kaiser?”

“Insurance? Why would I be concerned with something as trivial as that?” Suddenly Cameron Kaiser's features morphed and his clothes shifted into a different figure.

All three Sailor Senshi gasped. “Jadeite!”

“When the Joker destroys this place, the energy created by the fear and panic it will cause will be enough to create whole armies of youma!” Jadeite smiled and stretched out his hands. “And you're just in time to give your energy to the Dark Kingdom!”

Batman and three Senshi groaned and gasped as their energy drained out of them, then collapsed to the floor.

Two of Kaiser's security, which were youma in disguise, came into the room. “Hey, why didn't you drain them dry, boss?” one of them asked.

Jadeite gave a slight smile. “Let's give our friend the Joker a little present before leaving.”

Robin stood outside the window watching the whole thing. “Blast!” he muttered. “If I'd have gone in with them instead of waiting here like Bruce said-.”

“You would have just gotten drained along with them.” Dick turned and saw Luna to his right. “Now let's follow them and see what they're up to.”

 

“La diddle de da, la diddle de dee,” the Joker sang to himself as he lay the wires around a giant roulette wheel held by a huge statue of himself. “Such a pretty face. Seems also a shame.”

Suddenly the basement elevator opened and out staggered Batman, Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury and Mars. All four of them were still drained; it was all they could do to stay on their feet-until the Joker whacked each of them with a two-by-four.

 

Batman opened his eyes at the words. “Wakey Wakey, Bats.” Batman closed them and shook his head. When he opened his eyes a second time a pasty face he knew better than he wanted grinning over him. “Thought I'd have you conscious for your own demise.” Batman saw that he, Sailor Moon, Mars, and Mercury were tied down to the roulette wheel. “Do what you want to me, but let these girls go!”

“Oh, how noble of you!” the Joker cackled. “If I were our old friend Harv I'd flip a coin to decide their fate-except I'm not Harv!” He then looked over at the girls, who were just coming to. “I hear that those sailor-suits are proof against bullets, but will they help you any when I bring this place and that fool Kaiser down!”

“You can't do that! I'm too young to die! I'm too nice to die! I'm too pretty to-!”

“Aw, yeesh, and I thought Harley was a whiner!” the Joker sighed out loud as he winded up the timer and set it down.

“You won't get Kaiser.” The Joker glanced at Batman. “He wants you to destroy this casino.”

“What!” the Joker cried.

“Yes.” Sailor Mercury added. “He's got a big insurance policy on this place. If you destroy it, he get to collect, and you take the rap.”
“How dare he! Play me for a patsy!” The Mogul of Mountebanks disconnected the wired and unset the timer. “I'll settle my score with Kaiser man to clown. But that doesn't let you four off the hook!”

The Joker flipped the switch that set the roulette wheel running. “As soon as Mr. Happy here,” he said, holding up a grenade, “touches one of you, it's Cajun style bats and sailors!”

Suddenly a batarang knocked the grenade out of the Crime Clown's hand. “Back off Bozo.”

The Joker looked and saw a small figure in green, red, and yellow just outside the elevator. “I heard that Bats had taken on a partner,” he said, and then rushed at Robin.

The Boy wonder leaped over the Joker, then landed behind him. “Boy you're slow. Wake up on the wrong side of padded cell this morning?”

The Joker swung at Robin again, who just dodged, then leaped to his side. “Boy, you've got worse reflexes than my sister.”

“Oh yeah?” The Joker kicked at Robin, who then tripped him with a quick kick.

“Boy, that wasn't so tough.” Robin looked down at the Joker. Suddenly the Joker pulled a button on his purple coat, which caused the lead-weighted tails to slam into Robin's chest.

“He he he he he.” The Joker picked up his two-by-four and raised it up. “I'm going to enjoy this.”

Suddenly a rose struck the ground between the Crime Clown and the Boy Wonder. “Not so fast, Joker!”

The Joker looked and saw a figure in a tuxedo, top hat, and white mask jump from the basement window. “Who are you, Cobblepot's better looking brother?”

“I'm well pleased not to be related to THAT person,” Tuxedo Mask laughed. He drew a sword from his cane, which he swung at the cards the Joker threw. “I'm disappointed.”

Robin got to his feet while the Joker and Tuxedo Mask fought. Rushing over to the roulette wheel, he quickly turned it off.

“Sorry I couldn't get hear sooner,” he said as he cut Batman and the girls loose.

“Never mind that,” Batman said as he worked circulation back into his limbs. “All right Joker. You're surrounded and outnumbered. Give yourself up!”

“Never!” The Joker reached into his pocket and threw a handful of sneezing powder into Tuxedo Mask's face. Running past him, the Clown Prince of Crime headed for the basement elevator.

Quickly Sailor Moon grabbed her tiara. “Moon Tiara Capture!” The tiara stretched as it caught up with the Joker, then encircled him.

“My work here is done.” Tuxedo Mask pulled out a rose, tossed it to Sailor Moon, then leaped for the window. “Farewell.”

Batman grimaced, he'd hoped to put a homing device on the stranger. Turning to the captured Joker, he said. “Looks like it's back to Arkham for you.”

“Yeah, but he's only the stooge in this case.” Robin said. “What are we going to do about that Jadeite guy?”

Batman looked at Sailor Moon. “That disguise pen of yours Robin told me about-does it work for other people?”

 

Jadeite stood at the dockside. “Blast!” he said. “That clown should have blown up the place by now.”

“Yes, but I realized it would be more fun to get rid of you and run the show myself!”

Jadeite looked at the alleyway nearby and saw the Joker coming out. “You-you were supposed to destroy the casino!”

“It was a scheme worthy of me, Kaiser.” The Joker pulled out a gun and pointed it at Jadeite/Kaiser. “But you of all people should have realized there'd be a Joker in the deck!”

“Yes-and that joker is me!” Jadeite stretched out his hand and began the Joker's energy.

“Stop right there!” Jadeite looked up and saw Sailor Moon standing up on the top of the smallest building on the waterfront. And right next to her was Robin.

“You two!” he roared. He shot an energy ball at the building, which Sailor Moon and the boy wonder then leaped off of.

“Moon Tiara Action!” Sailor Moon shouted. Jadeite swung up his arm to block the tiara with his force shield-then to his left to stop the batarangs Robin was throwing.

“Mercury Bubble Blast!”

“Mars Fire Ignite!”

Now Jadeite had to move to block the attacks from the other two Senshi who'd suddenly appeared. He was so busy dodging and blocking he didn't notice the halfway drained Joker come up to him. “No, Mr. Jadeite,” he said as he touched the flower on his lapel, “I'm the Joker in this deck!”

Jadeite coughed and sputtered as gas from the flower enveloped him. “You think a little pink mist is going to-?” Suddenly he stopped, and his face stretched onto a grin. “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!” Jadite fell to his knees as the Joker Venom worked it's way into his system, sending him into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

The Joker's image faded and blurred, then finally disappeared, revealing the Batman. He handed the Disguise Pen back to Sailor Moon who had just come up to him. “Thanks. This thing really does come in handy. Too bad I can't replicate it.”

Robin looked down at Jadeite, who was down on his side still laughing. “Uh Batman, that Joker Venom gas isn't going to-?”

“No Robin.” Batman said. “That version I used isn't the lethal kind.”

Jadeite looked up at the costumed crimefighters. “I'll-ha ha-get you-ha ha-for this-ha ha-Batman!” He opened up a portal in the air and the next moment was gone.

 

Queen Beryl was not pleased when Jadeite materialized in front of her. “I've had spy watching you, Jadeite,” she roared, “and you were outwitted by the Batman! A mere mortal defeated you!”

Jadeite stuggled to control himself but he couldn't. The Joker Venom was just too strong. “HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”

“Stop laughing!” Beryl shouted, but the General kept laughing. “I would have giving you another chance, but for this, I sentence you to Eternal Sleep!” All of a sudden Jadeite was enveloped in transparent crystal, his face frozen in a mirror image of the Joker's grin.

The crystal disappeared from the throne room. Suddenly a new figure appeared before the Dark Kingdom's ruler, dressed in a uniform similar to Jadeite's but with very long bushy red hair. “Nephrite, Jadeite has failed me. I am appointing you to take his place.”

Nephrite bowed his head. “I will not fail you my queen. Jadeite was too cautious. He feared the metahumans and other superpowered beings too much. But I've studied them carefully. They have enormous amounts of energy for us to tap into-and I also learned of their weaknesses.”

He produced a small black crystal from his shirt. “Black crystal, show her Majesty the one whose energy I plan to drain.”

Queen Beryl smiled as she saw the various images if the blue and red clad figure. She saw him fly, release beams of heat from his eyes, lift up enormous vessels unaided. Her smile got wider. “Incredible, Nephrite. A man of power! A MAN OF STEEL!”

End of Chapter Five.

Okay you can guess who Nephrite's going after. And it does make sense. After all, who's got more energy than Superman?