Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Robot Senshi ❯ Omake 1: Pwned. ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

 

 

~:~ Robot Senshi: Ch1- Pwned. ~:~

 

Static fuzzes on the screen, then it clears to show us an indoor arena.

 

“And now, in this corner, he's fat, hairy, Italian, and a plumber: Mario!”

 

The crowd cheers loudly.

 

“And in this corner, the Champion of Justice, Moon Princess, fifteen year old cry-baby-“

 

“Hey!”

 

“I give you, SAILOR MOON!!!”

 

The stands erupt in loud cheers while men (and women) shout “WE LOVE YOU SAILOR MOON!”

 

And one particular voice shouts out, “USAGI AND REI FOR EVAAAAAA!!”

 

Mario pouted, his bushy mustache bouncing on his lip. “Nobody lovesa da pluma.”

 

“And…”

 

Sailor Moon and Mario took up fighter's stances, the fans surprisingly quiet.

 

“FIGHT!”

 

“HIYAAA!” Mario launched himself at our favorite heroine.

 

Sailor Moon sighed and grabbed a steel chair. “The things I do for authors…” she murmured as she readied her chair like a baseball bat. As Mario neared her, she swung with all of her might.

 

CLANG!

 

“Oha shita!” Mario screamed as he crashed through the ceiling. “Looksa like I'ma blastin' off agaiaaaannnnnn!”

 

Mario flew through the night sky, fading into the distance and into the stratosphere and becoming a star.

 

The arena was very quiet. Crickets chirped in the night.

 

“Damn!” Tempestflame shouted as she pointed at the Mario shaped hole in the wall. “Mario got pwned!”

 

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~ :~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:

 

“In this corner, he's mean, he's lean, he's green! It's Beast Boy!”

 

Girls squealed. Men booed.

 

“It's the pointy ears baby.” Beast Boy grinned, tugging on his kawaii elfy ears.

 

“And, SAILOR MOON!!”

 

More loud cheering erupts.

 

“Hey! What happened to my intro!?” Sailor Moon asked.

 

“FIGHT!”

 

“What the hell!?” Sailor Moon shrieked as Beast Boy morphed into a bull and charged.

He slammed into her stomach and she flew into the arena's wall with a pained gasp.

 

In the stands, several men and women fainted.

 

“YOU SON-OF-BITCH!!!” A new voice roared. Sailor Mars flew from the sidelines and tackled Beast Boy, who had morphed back into his human form.

 

“OH SHIT!!” he squealed as Mars punched him in his jaw, sending him reeling to the ground.

 

“DON'T YOU TOUCH HER AGAIN!!!!” she screamed as she slammed her foot…between his legs.

 

Every guy in the room whimpered and crossed his legs, while the girls winced.

 

Sailor Moon covered her mouth with her hands as Mars stomped her foot. Repeatedly.

 

With those heels too…She closed her eyes as Mars ground her heel into BB's crotch.

 

As security finally arrived to take Mars away, the Fire Senshi screamed out,

 

“AND ANY GUY WHO TRIES TO HIT ON HER WILL GET 100 TIMES WORSE THAN THAT!!!”

 

 

Beast Boy limped over to Sailor Moon and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her roughly.

“Your girlfriend's completely INSANE!!!” He shouted.

 

“FIRE SOUL!!!”

 

“SHIT!!”

Beast Boy was blasted into outer space, much like Mario.

The arena was completely silent. This time, the crickets didn't dare to chirp.

 

“Damn,” Tempestflame murmured, pointing at the Beast Boy shaped hole in the roof. “BB got pwned.”

 

“Yay!” LunerMiasma cheered. “Usagi/Rei 4 eva!!”

 

Static fizzes again as the screen goes blank.

 

 

 

Ramblings: And THAT my friends, is the first chapter of my omake fic, Robot Senshi. It's just like Robot Chicken, a HUGE parody thing.

 

LunarMiasma is my internet sister on deviantART.

 

She, like me, is a huge Usa/Rei fan. Thus, the hint of Usa/Rei in this omake.