Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Shared Destiny ❯ Chapter 8: Dear Diary ( Chapter 8 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Chapter 8: Dear
Diary
Author Notes: Just to let you know the parts in italics are meant to be journal entries so it is what is being read.
(Neptune and Uranus’ room three weeks later)
Uranus walked up the stairs to Neptune’s room she knew that Neptune wasn’t there. She was at the pool swimming with Hotaru and Mercury. They had been working with the girl for the past few weeks and she was becoming quite the swimmer. But that wasn’t what was on Uranus’ mind. It had been three weeks since Neptune had confessed her feelings and Uranus had broken her heart. They hadn’t spoken of it at all Neptune hadn’t brought it up and Uranus was afraid to. Yes Uranus admitted she was afraid to. She wasn’t sure what the feelings she had for the smaller girl were but she couldn’t deny anymore that she did have feelings. She knew Neptune still loved her she could see it every time she looking into her blue eyes and. And now that Uranus knew who it was in her dreams they had become even more intense waking up each morning with the senshi of the sea in her arms each morning did help either.
Uranus opened the door and walked into the room looking around the room. It was so neat and organized in here the bed perfectly made but then again it hadn’t been slept in much in the last three weeks and Uranus knew that it hadn’t been last night. Most nights Neptune would join Uranus in her bed snuggling close to her. Uranus walked straight over to a dresser by the bed and opened the bottom drawer pushing several blouses aside to find a small book with the letter ‘M’ written on the cover. Uranus knew it must be the first letter of Neptune’s real name and had even flipped through the pages trying to find it but Neptune never referred herself in the diary by her name. Except in the entry where she became Neptune and it didn’t say what her name was before. Uranus sat down picking the lock then flipping to the entry reading it again.
I never thought this possible my life at times seem too mundane for it happen and this sort of thing only happens in fairy tales. But in the course of one day my entire life may change. No it will change. You are probably wondering what I am talking about. I received a visit today from none other than Lady Adviser Pluto. Yes she was here for me and not my mother. I was standing in the garden looking at the seas. Yes I know I was doing it again I can’t help it I’m just drawn to the sea. And I think I understand why now but we will get to that later. Tolsin came to me and ruined my musing. Why oh why did my mother have to arrange for me to marry him? Out of all the nobles on Neptune she chose him. He keeps getting more and more forceful today get grabbed me and refused to let go of me. His hand was even under my shirt! I wasn’t sure how I was going to get out of this one then a woman behind us told him to leave me alone. I didn’t know who she was at first but Tolsin did. He left stuttering. I found out the woman was Pluto and she was looking for someone she was looking for me. I didn’t know why there is nothing special about me that would warrant a visit from the right hand of Queen Serenity. She gave me a mirror I later came to find out it was the Deep Aqua Mirror the Talisman of Sailor Neptune. When I looked into it I saw my own reflection which didn’t surprise me it is a mirror after all but the image changed. I saw myself as a Sailor Senshi as Sailor Neptune. Pluto told me that it was my destiny to become a soldier of the Moon Kingdom. I couldn’t believe it I am Sailor Neptune. There hasn’t been a Sailor Neptune in a thousand years not since both she and Sailor Uranus fell in battle. She said that I would be leaving tomorrow for the Moon to begin my training. I’m so looking forward to it. I’ve never been to the Moon I’ve seen pictures of it they always are so pretty. Pluto even said I would get to meet the royal court including Queen Serenity. I still cannot believe it. All in the span of a day my entire life has been changed. Well that’s all for today I still haven’t packed even though she told me to pack light I don’t know what to take.
Ok, I lied that wasn’t all I saw in the mirror when I looked at it. In my senshi form I was fighting alongside another senshi I don’t know who she was but she fought so valiantly. Her fuku was blue and gold and her hair was short and blonde. When the battle was over she came to me pulling me close I didn’t know why at first then I fell into her arms and she kissed me. And I kissed her back. I started to ask Pluto about it but she said that what I saw was for my eyes only. I don’t know what it meant. Who was this woman and why did I kiss her?
Uranus looked up from the diary to a clock on the wall she still had plenty of time before the swim lesson was over. She thought about the passage she just read Neptune had seen her before they even met maybe that was why Neptune looked as she had seen a ghost when they met she just kept staring. Uranus had asked her about it several times and all Neptune said was that she reminded her of something. Uranus flipped ahead several pages to the day they had first gotten in trouble.
I swear you won’t believe what I did today. It was something that was so not me, how was it Uranus described me? Oh yes little Miss prefect princess I never get in trouble. She couldn’t have hit the mark any better but I did just that. I challenged Uranus to prove that she really was a bad girl. We slipped some belladonna into Artemis’ drink making him fall sleep. Off topic did you know that cats can snore? I never did but Artemis was so loud I don’t know how Luna can put up with it. Anyway back to what happened. We had some pink dye which at first I didn’t know why Uranus had it but it seems last week when Mars’ robes turned up pink that was her. So while Artemis was sleeping we dyed his fur pink. He looked so funny I swear when he came into the dining room I couldn’t stop laughing. I think the Queen knows it was Uranus and me that did it but Pluto covered for us. I’m kinda worried what she’s going to do with us but on the other hand I don’t really care it was definitely worth it I’ve never had so much fun in my life.
Though with all the fun I had with her I am really mad at Uranus. You see Mars wasn’t the only one she played a prank on. She also got Venus, Mercury and Jupiter. I was supposed to be next but she decided against it after I became her partner in crime. That’s not really why I am mad at her. It’s because she stole my diary yes she stole this very book. She claims that she couldn’t pick the lock and that she didn’t read it but I don’t know. What if she read about the dreams I keep having?
“She was mad at me until just a little bit before the ball. She still doesn’t know I read her diary. I remember reading about the dream but I didn’t think much of it. She wouldn’t be the first girl to dream about me. Gods, Haruka you sound like such a narcissist.” Uranus said aloud then flipped ahead to the night of the ball.
Uranus kissed me today, but I’m jumping ahead. Today was the Moon ball and guess who showed up? Yes our most favorite person in the world none other than the Duke Tolsin De Rubikon. I spent the first half of the night dancing with him. And you won’t believe this mother actually wants to push the wedding up to this spring. That is only a few months away she is trying to get Queen Serenity to let me leave training a little early. I’m thinking about going and talking with the Queen but what would I say? “Uh Queen Serenity you see I can’t stand the man my mother has chosen for me to marry not to mention I am in love with my partner Sailor Uranus and my mother wants to push the wedding up but can’t because I’m here training. She is going to ask you to let me leave early can you say no?” Yea as if that would work. But back to the ball, I was so bored I think I almost died and Tolsin wouldn’t stop talking about the wedding. That was when Uranus came over and asked me to dance. I was really starting to think that the gods were done toying with me but it seems they weren’t as we danced I told her about the wedding and we started arguing again then I couldn’t believe it I started crying right there on the dance floor. Uranus took me over to one of the balconies and I cried more I cried into her shoulder as she held me. When I finally stopped crying she moved to kiss me I really thought she was going to kiss me on the lips but that’s where the gods come in they enjoy toying with my heart far too much. She kissed me on the forehead. I almost started crying again right there how could the gods be so cruel?
Uranus finished reading she didn’t know how much that dance had meant to Neptune and how hard it must have been to hear her telling her that she should just let her heart guide her. She looked up at the clock as it chimed seeing that she had less then a half hour before Neptune would be back. She better stop fooling around and read the entry she came to read.
I know I didn’t write anything last night I have good reason to not have. You see yesterday I confessed to Uranus that I loved her. So much happened yesterday I don’t even know where to start. I suppose the beginning is always a good place. Mercury and I told Hotaru that we would teach her to swim so we had that planed. I invited Uranus but she said she just wanted to relax. I felt like she wasn’t telling me everything and that something was bothering her but I didn’t press it. We went to the pool and I swear Hotaru is a natural swimmer.
Anyway after a couple of hours I saw Uranus practically run down the hall. She looked really upset so I followed her back to our room. She was sitting on a stool her head in her hands. I walked over to her and started rubbing her shoulders. She was so tense it made me wonder what happened. I didn’t notice it then but when she looked up at me her eyes were red and her cheeks puffy like she had been crying. I continued to rub her shoulders and it was really starting to relax her. I don’t know what I was doing it was like my body was moving on it’s on but I leaned down and kissed the back of her neck then the side of it and all of the sudden I was kneeling next to her and had kissed her cheek. This still shocks me but I then kissed her on the lips and she kissed me back! Gods it was so amazing I felt like if I were to die right then and there I wouldn’t be upset I was perfectly content.
She pulled me into her lap and continued to kiss me I swear I was in heaven. The she picked me up and carried to her room. She laid me on the bed and just stared at me the look on her face told me she wanted me. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what would happen next. She started undressing and climbed on top of me kissing me even more. Before I knew what was happening she was kissing my chest and that’s when I ruined it all. With the slip of three little words that had been eating at my heart since I first saw her in my mirror. That was when I told her I loved her and the gods decided that all the heartache I had already suffered wasn’t enough.
She just froze then told me she was sorry. She was sorry that she didn’t love me. I felt like someone had reached in and ripped my heart out. She told me that we couldn’t continue because it wouldn’t be fair to me because for her it would just be sex. I don’t know still which would be worse having my heart broken or making love to her and it being meaningless. Gods why do you do this to me? What did I ever do to deserve this? That’s when I asked about something I had been wondering about for weeks. I asked her if she loved Princess Serenity. She said it didn’t matter because the Princess didn’t love her. I realized then that this was why her eyes were red. She had been crying just like she was crying right then. I was happy then knowing that she knew exactly how I felt that her own heart was lying at her feet broken into pieces. Is that wrong? For me to take pleasure in her misery? But she had done the same to me. I don’t know. I don’t know what to think about anything anymore.
I started to leave but she stopped me. She told me she didn’t want me to leave. I didn’t know what to do I froze. Then I heard her whisper that she didn’t want to be alone. Next thing I knew I was wearing one of her pajama tops and lying in bed with her. No we didn’t do anything we just slept. And that was where I woke up this morning. In her arms. I felt so happy to be there but last night came back to me and I almost cried. I made it back to my room before I did and she didn’t see me. Thank gods. I don’t know what I am going to do. Should I give up or should I keep trying? I just don’t know what to do anymore. I have to get going though or I’m going to be late for class.
Uranus sat on Neptune’s bed staring at the pages. She knew she had hurt Neptune but didn’t know how badly. It was amazing that the aqua haired princess was even speaking to her still. Uranus looked up at the clock damn Neptune should be back any minute now. Uranus quickly closed the book and put it back in the drawer covering it with the shirts again then headed to the door not realizing that she forgot to lock the book. She opened the door and started down the stair. “Uranus what are you doing?” Neptune asked seeing her standing on the stairs to her room.
“I was seeing if you were back yet. I wanted to talk to you.” Uranus lied as she came down the stairs. Neptune sat down on the sofa and Uranus joined her.
“What about?” Neptune asked.
“About what happened a couple weeks ago.” Uranus said causing Neptune to freeze. “I know I hurt you and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I… what I wanted to know is do I… do I still have chance? I know I have feelings for you just I… I don’t know what they are. But I want to find out. That’s… that’s if you’ll give me a second chance. Neptune will you give me a chance to figure out what I am feeling?”
Neptune sat thinking for several minutes then nodded, “Yes.”
“Alright we’ll just take it slow.” Uranus said leaning over and kissing Neptune. As they kissed neither one realized someone was knocking on the door.
“Is anyone here?” Mercury said as she opened the door. Neptune and Uranus both quickly pulled apart and slid to opposite sides of the sofa. “Oh hi Neptune, Uranus.”
“Mercury what are you doing here?” Neptune asked a little more sharply then she intended.
“You forget your towel at the pool.” Mercury said holding the towel up.
“Oh thanks.” Neptune said standing and walking over to Mercury taking the towel from her.
“Ok well I’ll see you guys at dinner.” Mercury said leaving the room and closing the door again.
Uranus stood and walked over to Neptune pulling her into her arms, “Now where were we?” She said taking the towel dropping it and kissing Neptune.
Neptune kissed her back then pulled her lips away but not out of her arms. “What happened to taking it slow?”
“We’re just kissing.” Uranus said claiming her lips again. “Besides your lips taste so sweet.”
To Be Continued…
Author Notes: Just to let you know the parts in italics are meant to be journal entries so it is what is being read.
(Neptune and Uranus’ room three weeks later)
Uranus walked up the stairs to Neptune’s room she knew that Neptune wasn’t there. She was at the pool swimming with Hotaru and Mercury. They had been working with the girl for the past few weeks and she was becoming quite the swimmer. But that wasn’t what was on Uranus’ mind. It had been three weeks since Neptune had confessed her feelings and Uranus had broken her heart. They hadn’t spoken of it at all Neptune hadn’t brought it up and Uranus was afraid to. Yes Uranus admitted she was afraid to. She wasn’t sure what the feelings she had for the smaller girl were but she couldn’t deny anymore that she did have feelings. She knew Neptune still loved her she could see it every time she looking into her blue eyes and. And now that Uranus knew who it was in her dreams they had become even more intense waking up each morning with the senshi of the sea in her arms each morning did help either.
Uranus opened the door and walked into the room looking around the room. It was so neat and organized in here the bed perfectly made but then again it hadn’t been slept in much in the last three weeks and Uranus knew that it hadn’t been last night. Most nights Neptune would join Uranus in her bed snuggling close to her. Uranus walked straight over to a dresser by the bed and opened the bottom drawer pushing several blouses aside to find a small book with the letter ‘M’ written on the cover. Uranus knew it must be the first letter of Neptune’s real name and had even flipped through the pages trying to find it but Neptune never referred herself in the diary by her name. Except in the entry where she became Neptune and it didn’t say what her name was before. Uranus sat down picking the lock then flipping to the entry reading it again.
I never thought this possible my life at times seem too mundane for it happen and this sort of thing only happens in fairy tales. But in the course of one day my entire life may change. No it will change. You are probably wondering what I am talking about. I received a visit today from none other than Lady Adviser Pluto. Yes she was here for me and not my mother. I was standing in the garden looking at the seas. Yes I know I was doing it again I can’t help it I’m just drawn to the sea. And I think I understand why now but we will get to that later. Tolsin came to me and ruined my musing. Why oh why did my mother have to arrange for me to marry him? Out of all the nobles on Neptune she chose him. He keeps getting more and more forceful today get grabbed me and refused to let go of me. His hand was even under my shirt! I wasn’t sure how I was going to get out of this one then a woman behind us told him to leave me alone. I didn’t know who she was at first but Tolsin did. He left stuttering. I found out the woman was Pluto and she was looking for someone she was looking for me. I didn’t know why there is nothing special about me that would warrant a visit from the right hand of Queen Serenity. She gave me a mirror I later came to find out it was the Deep Aqua Mirror the Talisman of Sailor Neptune. When I looked into it I saw my own reflection which didn’t surprise me it is a mirror after all but the image changed. I saw myself as a Sailor Senshi as Sailor Neptune. Pluto told me that it was my destiny to become a soldier of the Moon Kingdom. I couldn’t believe it I am Sailor Neptune. There hasn’t been a Sailor Neptune in a thousand years not since both she and Sailor Uranus fell in battle. She said that I would be leaving tomorrow for the Moon to begin my training. I’m so looking forward to it. I’ve never been to the Moon I’ve seen pictures of it they always are so pretty. Pluto even said I would get to meet the royal court including Queen Serenity. I still cannot believe it. All in the span of a day my entire life has been changed. Well that’s all for today I still haven’t packed even though she told me to pack light I don’t know what to take.
Ok, I lied that wasn’t all I saw in the mirror when I looked at it. In my senshi form I was fighting alongside another senshi I don’t know who she was but she fought so valiantly. Her fuku was blue and gold and her hair was short and blonde. When the battle was over she came to me pulling me close I didn’t know why at first then I fell into her arms and she kissed me. And I kissed her back. I started to ask Pluto about it but she said that what I saw was for my eyes only. I don’t know what it meant. Who was this woman and why did I kiss her?
Uranus looked up from the diary to a clock on the wall she still had plenty of time before the swim lesson was over. She thought about the passage she just read Neptune had seen her before they even met maybe that was why Neptune looked as she had seen a ghost when they met she just kept staring. Uranus had asked her about it several times and all Neptune said was that she reminded her of something. Uranus flipped ahead several pages to the day they had first gotten in trouble.
I swear you won’t believe what I did today. It was something that was so not me, how was it Uranus described me? Oh yes little Miss prefect princess I never get in trouble. She couldn’t have hit the mark any better but I did just that. I challenged Uranus to prove that she really was a bad girl. We slipped some belladonna into Artemis’ drink making him fall sleep. Off topic did you know that cats can snore? I never did but Artemis was so loud I don’t know how Luna can put up with it. Anyway back to what happened. We had some pink dye which at first I didn’t know why Uranus had it but it seems last week when Mars’ robes turned up pink that was her. So while Artemis was sleeping we dyed his fur pink. He looked so funny I swear when he came into the dining room I couldn’t stop laughing. I think the Queen knows it was Uranus and me that did it but Pluto covered for us. I’m kinda worried what she’s going to do with us but on the other hand I don’t really care it was definitely worth it I’ve never had so much fun in my life.
Though with all the fun I had with her I am really mad at Uranus. You see Mars wasn’t the only one she played a prank on. She also got Venus, Mercury and Jupiter. I was supposed to be next but she decided against it after I became her partner in crime. That’s not really why I am mad at her. It’s because she stole my diary yes she stole this very book. She claims that she couldn’t pick the lock and that she didn’t read it but I don’t know. What if she read about the dreams I keep having?
“She was mad at me until just a little bit before the ball. She still doesn’t know I read her diary. I remember reading about the dream but I didn’t think much of it. She wouldn’t be the first girl to dream about me. Gods, Haruka you sound like such a narcissist.” Uranus said aloud then flipped ahead to the night of the ball.
Uranus kissed me today, but I’m jumping ahead. Today was the Moon ball and guess who showed up? Yes our most favorite person in the world none other than the Duke Tolsin De Rubikon. I spent the first half of the night dancing with him. And you won’t believe this mother actually wants to push the wedding up to this spring. That is only a few months away she is trying to get Queen Serenity to let me leave training a little early. I’m thinking about going and talking with the Queen but what would I say? “Uh Queen Serenity you see I can’t stand the man my mother has chosen for me to marry not to mention I am in love with my partner Sailor Uranus and my mother wants to push the wedding up but can’t because I’m here training. She is going to ask you to let me leave early can you say no?” Yea as if that would work. But back to the ball, I was so bored I think I almost died and Tolsin wouldn’t stop talking about the wedding. That was when Uranus came over and asked me to dance. I was really starting to think that the gods were done toying with me but it seems they weren’t as we danced I told her about the wedding and we started arguing again then I couldn’t believe it I started crying right there on the dance floor. Uranus took me over to one of the balconies and I cried more I cried into her shoulder as she held me. When I finally stopped crying she moved to kiss me I really thought she was going to kiss me on the lips but that’s where the gods come in they enjoy toying with my heart far too much. She kissed me on the forehead. I almost started crying again right there how could the gods be so cruel?
Uranus finished reading she didn’t know how much that dance had meant to Neptune and how hard it must have been to hear her telling her that she should just let her heart guide her. She looked up at the clock as it chimed seeing that she had less then a half hour before Neptune would be back. She better stop fooling around and read the entry she came to read.
I know I didn’t write anything last night I have good reason to not have. You see yesterday I confessed to Uranus that I loved her. So much happened yesterday I don’t even know where to start. I suppose the beginning is always a good place. Mercury and I told Hotaru that we would teach her to swim so we had that planed. I invited Uranus but she said she just wanted to relax. I felt like she wasn’t telling me everything and that something was bothering her but I didn’t press it. We went to the pool and I swear Hotaru is a natural swimmer.
Anyway after a couple of hours I saw Uranus practically run down the hall. She looked really upset so I followed her back to our room. She was sitting on a stool her head in her hands. I walked over to her and started rubbing her shoulders. She was so tense it made me wonder what happened. I didn’t notice it then but when she looked up at me her eyes were red and her cheeks puffy like she had been crying. I continued to rub her shoulders and it was really starting to relax her. I don’t know what I was doing it was like my body was moving on it’s on but I leaned down and kissed the back of her neck then the side of it and all of the sudden I was kneeling next to her and had kissed her cheek. This still shocks me but I then kissed her on the lips and she kissed me back! Gods it was so amazing I felt like if I were to die right then and there I wouldn’t be upset I was perfectly content.
She pulled me into her lap and continued to kiss me I swear I was in heaven. The she picked me up and carried to her room. She laid me on the bed and just stared at me the look on her face told me she wanted me. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what would happen next. She started undressing and climbed on top of me kissing me even more. Before I knew what was happening she was kissing my chest and that’s when I ruined it all. With the slip of three little words that had been eating at my heart since I first saw her in my mirror. That was when I told her I loved her and the gods decided that all the heartache I had already suffered wasn’t enough.
She just froze then told me she was sorry. She was sorry that she didn’t love me. I felt like someone had reached in and ripped my heart out. She told me that we couldn’t continue because it wouldn’t be fair to me because for her it would just be sex. I don’t know still which would be worse having my heart broken or making love to her and it being meaningless. Gods why do you do this to me? What did I ever do to deserve this? That’s when I asked about something I had been wondering about for weeks. I asked her if she loved Princess Serenity. She said it didn’t matter because the Princess didn’t love her. I realized then that this was why her eyes were red. She had been crying just like she was crying right then. I was happy then knowing that she knew exactly how I felt that her own heart was lying at her feet broken into pieces. Is that wrong? For me to take pleasure in her misery? But she had done the same to me. I don’t know. I don’t know what to think about anything anymore.
I started to leave but she stopped me. She told me she didn’t want me to leave. I didn’t know what to do I froze. Then I heard her whisper that she didn’t want to be alone. Next thing I knew I was wearing one of her pajama tops and lying in bed with her. No we didn’t do anything we just slept. And that was where I woke up this morning. In her arms. I felt so happy to be there but last night came back to me and I almost cried. I made it back to my room before I did and she didn’t see me. Thank gods. I don’t know what I am going to do. Should I give up or should I keep trying? I just don’t know what to do anymore. I have to get going though or I’m going to be late for class.
Uranus sat on Neptune’s bed staring at the pages. She knew she had hurt Neptune but didn’t know how badly. It was amazing that the aqua haired princess was even speaking to her still. Uranus looked up at the clock damn Neptune should be back any minute now. Uranus quickly closed the book and put it back in the drawer covering it with the shirts again then headed to the door not realizing that she forgot to lock the book. She opened the door and started down the stair. “Uranus what are you doing?” Neptune asked seeing her standing on the stairs to her room.
“I was seeing if you were back yet. I wanted to talk to you.” Uranus lied as she came down the stairs. Neptune sat down on the sofa and Uranus joined her.
“What about?” Neptune asked.
“About what happened a couple weeks ago.” Uranus said causing Neptune to freeze. “I know I hurt you and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I… what I wanted to know is do I… do I still have chance? I know I have feelings for you just I… I don’t know what they are. But I want to find out. That’s… that’s if you’ll give me a second chance. Neptune will you give me a chance to figure out what I am feeling?”
Neptune sat thinking for several minutes then nodded, “Yes.”
“Alright we’ll just take it slow.” Uranus said leaning over and kissing Neptune. As they kissed neither one realized someone was knocking on the door.
“Is anyone here?” Mercury said as she opened the door. Neptune and Uranus both quickly pulled apart and slid to opposite sides of the sofa. “Oh hi Neptune, Uranus.”
“Mercury what are you doing here?” Neptune asked a little more sharply then she intended.
“You forget your towel at the pool.” Mercury said holding the towel up.
“Oh thanks.” Neptune said standing and walking over to Mercury taking the towel from her.
“Ok well I’ll see you guys at dinner.” Mercury said leaving the room and closing the door again.
Uranus stood and walked over to Neptune pulling her into her arms, “Now where were we?” She said taking the towel dropping it and kissing Neptune.
Neptune kissed her back then pulled her lips away but not out of her arms. “What happened to taking it slow?”
“We’re just kissing.” Uranus said claiming her lips again. “Besides your lips taste so sweet.”
To Be Continued…