Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ The Disaffected Life ❯ Chapter Three ( Chapter 3 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Author's Notes: Eh, I'm not too sure about this chapter. I wanted this series

to be an onslaught of angst, as it should be, considering the subject matter.

However, this particular chapter seems to take a break in that angst and misery.

Meet Yuki (again) the feisty and cute object of Haruka's young affections. Don't

worry, though... angst and misery will come soon. I promise. :D

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Disaffected Life
(Chapter Three)




"I am an expensive obligation." Haruka spoke to no one. Alone in her

apartment, she briefly scanned numerous documents. There were easily hundreds in

the stack. Either her parents cared not the significance of her future, or they

had complete faith in her intelligence. She suspected the former, rather than

the latter.


Her apartment was a maze of boxes, the movers had arrived early that

morning with her possessions packed tightly, waiting to be reunited with their

owner. The scene before her best reflected her life in the moment, which better

reflected her internal turmoil; all was well ordered chaos. All was tightly

packaged, labeled, prepared for the unknown, forced out of stability; security.


Haruka had been formally thrown away, the papers and movers were an epitaph

to the ties of her previous life. She knew not which direction to take her new

self. Neither could she fathom how many deaths and rebirths she would experience

in the future. "How many times can a child die?" she whispered.


The young girl sighed as she stared at the clock across the room. School

began in an hour. Never had she felt up to her studies, though always she had

gone and done well. She had been raised in a very traditional atmosphere. Her

mother and father, stoic pillars of success, expected nothing less from their

children. They expected pure obedience. They had expected a child that would

carry the family name upon their shoulders proudly into the future. Haruka,

their only child, was a girl, thus, an inherent disappointment to her parents.


Haruka's head pound. The poison from her night prior trembled the

foundation of her weary mind, splitting a gaping ravine straight through her.

She held her head, and flung the papers across the room; trust funds, spending

accounts. She had been disowned, but found herself purchased and paid for. She

was indebted to her demons; a concubine, shackled to the disgust and guilt of

her parents.


Standing up, she straightened the tie of her school uniform. Always a boy's

uniform, she had always worn, and felt most comfortable, in a masculine

identity. She had never given it any thought. There were no reasons, there was

no method for her, it simply felt most natural. Why or how could it be any other

way?


When Yuki had kissed her, it felt as natural to Haruka as smoothing the

lapels of her coat. It took the intrusion of disdain to shock Haruka into a

larger spectrum, a wider realm; reality.


ooooooooooooooo


"Ha-chan?" the young girl stared up at Haruka, her arm tightened around

Haruka's in anticipation.


Haruka, barely acknowledging the girl clinging to her, grunted in

response, "Mmmm?"


"Why don't we go to your house?" Yuki asked timidly, Haruka always seemed

so hard to read to the young girl. She was an enigma to most everyone, Yuki

supposed.


"Why don't I just walk you home." Haruka spoke, it was a firm statement,

not a question.


"You always walk me home, maybe I want to walk you home." Yuki, getting

back some of her confidence, fired right back at the tall blonde. Yuki stilled

her pace, stopping Haruka along with her. Haruka stared at the girl, there was a

fierceness in her. Haruka realised Yuki would not back down, and something about

the girl's determination set Yuki aglow.


Haruka turned in the opposite direction and began walking at a casual pace.

Her long legs made a casual pace to Haruka a power walk to others. Yuki, being

much shorter, ran to catch up with the lanky girl. "Where are you going,

Haruka?" Yuki asked heavy breathed.


"Home." Haruka replied simply.


Yuki's eyes glimmered with delight, as she attempted to conceal her smile.

Haruka would concede to no one, but she found, on occasion, that Haruka would

give in to her. Haruka would gracefully, quietly, though sometimes reluctantly,

acquiesce into acceptance of Yuki.





"Ha-chan, how far do you live?" Yuki inquired, her legs beginning to become

sore keeping up with Haruka's pace. They had been walking for a good half hour,

and it seemed as though it would never end.


"About ten or fifteen minutes more." Haruka was terse.


"You live in the completely opposite direction as me. You walk all the way

home from my house every day?" Every day, Yuki thought. Every day over the past

couple of months, since she and Haruka had met, Haruka had walked her home.

Beneath her aloof exterior, Haruka had always been, to Yuki, the perfect

gentleman.


Haruka looked at Yuki from the corner of her eyes, her expression was as

cool and unreadable as ever, "I'm a sprinter, this walk isn't such a trial for

me. YOU, however, are very lazy. I can't imagine you'd walk a block out of your

way for anyone."


"I'm walking at least a few miles for you," Yuki was always fast with a

retort for Haruka, it was something that sometimes stumbled and intrigued her.


"For your curiosity," Haruka was quick to divert the mood from Yuki's

innuendo, but it was not lost on her.


"That, too," Yuki flashed a full, devilish smile. Strands of her long,

raven hair fell into her sight; a torn cloak shading her eyes. Haruka found

herself rather smitten with Yuki in that moment.


Yuki took a moment to survey her surroundings, the neighborhood she and

Haruka were trotting through was very bourgeois, far out of her league, Yuki

thought. Haruka's pace began to slow as they reached a long stretch of road.

These homes, in the suburb of Tokyo, took up at least two city blocks with

gigantic walls, shielding them from prying eyes. Grand mansions for the

conservative rulers of the business world, the haves in a world of have nots.

Haruka was a princess of modern society. And this... Yuki stared up as they

approached immense gates blocking intruders paths to Haruka's home... was her

castle.


"Haruka, maybe..." Yuki hesitated as she became more self-conscious, "maybe

this isn't such a good idea."


"Too late." Haruka grabbed Yuki's hand as she punched a code, opening a

door within the large iron gates, and walked the two through.


The sight before Yuki left her breathless. Haruka's home had been modeled

after traditional Chinese castles. It was truly a fortress. The mansion, built

around a courtyard, was adorned with meticulously crafted gates locking the

courtyard into the mansion itself. The gates to the court yard, made of rot

iron, were emblazoned with an insignia of some sort, Yuki thought they must be a

family coat of arms, "Something magnificent like that," Yuki mumbled to herself.

Upon further inspection, Yuki realised the insignia on the gates were inlayed

with jade. "Oh wow," she spoke in awe.


As Haruka opened the heavy gates, Yuki took in the sights and sounds of the

tremendous courtyard. The entire yard was paved with stones, each stone an

individual unto itself, carrying its own beauty. Vines hung from large statues

at the four corners of the yard. They were elemental dragons, carved from slabs

of uncut marble, each having eyes of semi-precious stones in the shade of their

attributes; sapphire for water, jade for earth, ruby for fire, so and so forth.


At the center of the yard laid an expansive koi pond. It looked as if each

stone of the enormous pond had been hand selected and hand-placed. Yuki imagined

that they, indeed, had been. In the center of the large pond, stood a three foot

tall statue of a sitting buddha made entirely of jade, smiling joyfully upon

those who entered.


Three, seven foot tall banzai trees stood in a triangle within the

courtyard, one at the center, one on the right, and one on the left. The

perfectly kept banzai were planted in stunningly carved stone pots. The scenes

carved on the pots appeared to be from buddhist creation myths. These myths Yuki

was only vaguely familiar with.


Haruka walked further into the courtyard, once again taking possession of

Yuki's hand and dragged her along. Haruka feared, if she did not take the

initiative, Yuki might run away. Haruka had never brought anyone home before.

Her family had always been the wealthiest among the wealthy, yet Haruka rejected

all that wealth had to offer; she opted to go to schools for the gifted, where

only the hyper intelligent tested in, as opposed to going to a stepping ladder

school, where an influential family was all that was needed to attend. She

avoided galas at all costs. Though she allowed herself to be instructed in

proper etiquette, finding the knowledge would possibly be useful in her future.

Haruka had always feared where she came from would be too overwhelming for her

peers to deal with. She had hoped these fears would not manifest themselves into

truth there with Yuki.


Crossing the courtyard, Haruka and Yuki made their way to the front doors

of the Tenoh household. Double doors stood twelve feet high, both made entirely

of thick mahogany, were hand carved; the left door with the charm for good

health, and the right door with the charm banishing ill intending spirits. As

Haruka unlocked the large, burdensome doors, Yuki spoke, "Your parents seem

traditional, and, uhm, kind of superstitious."


"They are extremely traditional, and, hmmmm," Haruka paused as she thought

of words to best describe her parents, "They take buddhism very seriously, very

literally. I guess they are a bit superstitious. My father is, anyway."


"Does he light incense and pray for good health and all that?" Yuki

inquired as Haruka opened the front doors to her home.


"Yes, he does, every night." Haruka stepped through the door way and into

the foyer of her home, Yuki followed suit, and humbled herself in the presence

of what she felt must be greatness. The interior of Haruka's home made all that

Yuki had seen of Haruka's estate up until that point seem cheap and simple.

Everywhere Yuki turned, she saw history; funiture that must have been over a

thousand years old, created in Shanghai at the height of China's era of craft,

vases as old as Christ, katanas from the feudal era, she could not step without

crossing the path of pricelessness. Fearing marring their worth with merely her

gaze, she averted her eyes to the ground. Yuki took off her shoes and put on the

house slippers for guests into the Tenoh home. They were made of fine Chinese

silk.


"You look uncomfortable," Haruka spoke without inflection.


Yuki looked up at Haruka, she felt frantic to deny Haruka's accusation,

"No, Ha-chan, not at all!" Yuki smiled beatifically at the taller girl.


Staring into the distance, Haruka spoke once more, her voice total

monotone, "I live a gifted life."


Concern shaded Yuki's features as she felt the significance of Haruka's

distance overcome her. Yuki took Haruka's hand into her own, and stared deeply

into Haruka's eyes as the mildly surprised girl looked down at her, "Your home

is beautiful, Haruka." Yuki smiled warmly at Haruka, she wasn't sure why Haruka

seemed so pained, but Yuki was determined not to be the source. "I want to see

your bedroom!" the petite girl exclaimed, hopping to further impress her

excitement upon her friend. Yuki tightened her grip on Haruka's hand, "Which
direction is it? Lead me!"


For reasons inexplicable to Haruka, she found herself feeling slightly

embarrassed. She restrained a blush as she responded to Yuki, "My room is

boring."


"Impossible! Anyplace you spend every night must be interesting!" Yuki

contested, punctuating her sentence with a wink. Haruka once again felt that

shimmer of embarrassment flush her face.


Haruka stepped to the right, leading Yuki towards a flight of stairs, as

they approached, something dawned on Yuki, "Where are your parents? You didn't

call to them when we got here."


"Yelling is rude. Ordinarily, there is someone here to greet me when I

arrive home, my mother or a servant, but my father is at work, and my mother is

out shopping. The servants leave me alone, at my request."


Servants, traditional greetings, Haruka thought surely Yuki must have felt

out of place. Yet here she was, persevering, desiring to know more of Haruka's

life. Was it curiosity for the unknown? To know the lives of the rich? Was she

entertained by her father's nearly pathological religiousness, or the fact that

her mother was a wife practically designed by the feudal era; seen but not

heard, alive but not living? Perhaps Yuki really, truly yearned only to know the

intricacies of Haruka's life, to know Haruka. The thought seemed so foreign to

the girl. Those who had longed to know Haruka in the past, did so only out of

their selfish desires, not to truly understand Haruka, but to attain her, to

grab her attention, to acquire her and behold her as an idea, as something of a

trophy, never as a person. Haruka was intelligent, attractive, she was gifted,

and androgynous, which made her feared by some, and a novelty to others. Haruka

was different; unique. Unbeknownst to her, Yuki found it not to be a novelty

or fearsome, but quite spectacular.


Haruka walked a long corridor with Yuki in tow. Everything appeared

reflective to Yuki, from the waxed wood floors to the frames of the paintings

hanging along the walls. Yuki could not place the atmosphere these reflections

lent, but something about it felt unsettling to the girl. Everywhere she

turned, she saw herself.


Haruka stopped, finally, opening a heavy, western style wooden door. Haruka

ushered Yuki in, both girls suddenly felt diffident and anxious. "This is it,"

Haruka spoke softly.


Yuki took in Haruka's room; it smelled of her. Haruka's bedroom was

entirely without adornment, no paintings, no posters, no knick-knacks, vases,

sculptures, no pricelessness, no history, no art. It betrayed nothing of

Haruka's interests, of her cares, it was a blank slate. In the center was a

large bed with a plain wooden frame. To the right was a free standing, body

length sized mirror, to the left a desk with a personal computer, and across

from the bed stood a television, which had been wholly covered in dust. Yuki

thought it must not have been touched in months.


"It's..." Yuki paused, she knew her voice easily expressed her

disappointment.


"Plain." Haruka supplied for the girl.


"Oh, no!" Yuki attempted in vain to dissuade Haruka of the notion, but

promptly conceded, "Well, yeah."


Yuki walked to the far side of Haruka's bed and sat down, she turned to

look at Haruka. Haruka stood, resting against her computer desk, facing Yuki.


"My mother had tried for so long to get me to decorate it, but I've never

felt the inclination to do so. I'm not sure why, but posters, paintings, none of

it struck my fancy. It's a place to sleep in." Haruka shrugged further revealing

her indifference.


"I guess it could be, I kinda see my bedroom as, well, mine. So I want to

express myself. In my own space, you know?" Yuki paused, and turned to

gaze out Haruka's window, her back then faced the much taller girl, the plummet

of Yuki's self-esteem made it difficult for her to look at her companion, "I

guess I'm just a typical teenager. You must look at my bedroom and all of those

posters of pop idols and think I'm ridiculous."


Haruka stepped towards the bed and sat down with her side flush to Yuki,

she stared idly at her dust covered television. "I think," Haruka spoke on

shyly, "the way you express yourself, your enthusiasm, it is... fearless in a

way. It's also," Haruka wavered as she spoke on, her nerves surged with

electricity as her stomach fluttered wildly as a moth frenetic in attaining the

flickering illusion of a lightbulb's flame, "um, quite adorable."


Yuki stared at Haruka's reflection in the pane of her bedroom window,

something about Haruka's small confession shocked her dulled senses. Everywhere

she had looked in this stifling house, Yuki had seen herself as small and wildly

out of her element, but sitting on Haruka's bed, watching her this way, all that

she saw, was Haruka. She realised in that brief moment, that Haruka was all she

had ever longed to see since the day they had met.


Yuki's heart broke suddenly as shattered glass, tears began to stream

torrentially from her eyes. Yuki's abrupt change of mood left Haruka feeling

confused and rather hopeless, had she said the wrong thing? Had she over

stepped her boundaries? For the first time in her life, Haruka fretted

nervously. "Are... are you okay, Yuki?" Haruka asked, as she fiddled with her

fingers and stared at the pattern on her bedspread. She hoped the earth would

open wide and consume her.


"I can't be here," Yuki spoke brokenly through her tears.


"Oh," Haruka felt her heart slowly crack and fragment at Yuki's words, like

stressed bones. "I... I can walk you home, if you like."


Yuki's cries deepened with Haruka's words, with her sweet sentiments. The

longer she stayed in Haruka's presence, the further she risked falling deeper

into the predicament she finally realised she had been in all along.


Haruka edged closer to Yuki as she spoke, her voice conveyed the concern

she felt consume her being, in a way the merciless earth would never bestow,

"Please don't cry, Yuki. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" she begged desperately, for

what, she did not know.


Yuki turned where she sat to face Haruka, Haruka sat inches away from the

tiny beauty, her hands balled into fists her in lap. Haruka's eyes closed so

tightly, they could have been sewn shut. Something about Haruka's faced appeared

torn to Yuki, the gorgeous tapestry of her face, Yuki had shredded it in a

moment. Yuki's hands cupped Haruka's face, and lifted it to look at the small

girl. As she stared into Haruka's eyes, her defenses, her fears eroded. She

leaned into Haruka, and kissed her with all of the passion, with the

restlessness of her heart.


oooooooooooo


Haruka could taste salty tears on Yuki's soft, delicate lips. She

opened her eyes to once again gaze upon the clock. Haruka found her tongue had

been tasting her own tears, as she unexpectedly found herself crying.


Yuki had changed Haruka's entire existence with a single action, a solitary

emotion had destroyed all that Haruka had come to know and rely on in her short

life. Haruka had difficulty deciphering the code of her emotions, was she

grateful? Resentful? Mournful? Did she miss her one time companion? Did she love

her still? Had she ever loved her at all?


Haruka had ten minutes to get to her new school, which happened to be

twenty minutes away. These questions would have to find their answers at another

time, though she knew they would never relent.


She sighed as she dried her eyes, "Better late then never."


ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo