Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Under the Pale of a Vanishing World ❯ A Black and Vile Heart that Beats for Me ( Chapter 4 )

Title: Under the Pale of a Vanishing World

Chapter 4: A Black and Vile Heart that Beats for Me

Rating: PG-13

Poetry is mine

Sailor Moon and its characters do not belong to me. I am just borrowing.

Shoujo-ai Content

 

 

Setsuna sat on the toppled obsidian monument with her eyes closed as her thoughts drifted into the past. She wandered as far back a she could dare remember without losing herself. She had purposely arrived at least five minutes before Beryl in order to make peace with her surroundings before flying into battle. It had been thousands of years since she had last been in that place.

 

The planet was desolate now, void of life save the remainders of the old civilization. Except for the Earth all the planets looked like that. All were in ruins under the weight of the battle with the Dark Kingdom and then finally with the vanishing of the gods. In all respects the gods never really vanished, and they did not actually die. They had merely fallen into the slumber of disbelief. She knew that one day in the future, so far-flung she could barely see it, the gods would once again wake and the solar system would be in a state of bliss as it had during the time of the Moon Kingdom. But that future, that piece of destiny was lost to the present situation. One misstep, one wrong turn towards a balcony ensured that the old gods would never again wake to their former glory.

 

She tried not to let the thought cause her sorrow. She would put things right. She would do her duty.

 

Her eyes opened, soft and languid pools of maroon so deep they begged to be drunk in like the richest of wines. She looked up into the face of the giant statues that stood behind her, cracked and ripe with devastation and she whispered something that could have been a prayer. It spoke of duty, and it spoke of how it had always been inherent to her destiny.

 

"Destiny and duty," she said to one statue in particular, "Those things you never had any trouble with. Of all your kin you were always the only one who fully understood it. Even she in all her trying and loving you could not fully accept it sometimes could she... father, Lord Hades?"

 

Of all her beginnings she regarded being born on Pluto as one of her very first. There were others, distant and barely caught in the veil of recollection, and they reached beyond the beginning of the gods. But Pluto and the people she had encountered there she regarded as very special to her. The Time she was allowed there stuck in her memories like no other place could, except perhaps the Moon and the Earth. She had been the daughter of the god of the under world and the goddess of the seasons. Death and the turning of the seasons, which was practically the turning of Time, those were the things she carried in her blood. And her blood remembered those things so well she felt as if perhaps she had always been made of them. Whatever the case Pluto had a been a place she once called home, and while there were moments she had looked into Hades eyes and found that he could only see her as Time's child, she knew deep within his heart that he hoped desperately she would be granted a different destiny. She knew he had loved her as his precious little girl.

 

She felt a pang of guilt at not regarding her parents on Earth so dearly. It was harder to do though because they had not lived very long after her birth.

 

She stood from where she was sitting. Beryl would be coming very soon.

 

Setsuna turned to face the statues and said, "Beginnings and endings... I've been given many, but it was here I think...that I learned to appreciate each one I that was given."

 

"That was beautiful, Setsuna. Really, I think I could almost cry," a snide female voice edged in from behind.

 

She turned quickly eyes narrowed, "You may not address me by that name."

 

Beryl grinned, "Oh but what is in a name? I wouldn't think it should matter to you. After all you have titles to spare."

 

Sailor Pluto gritted her teeth and then instantly shut her eyes to try and control her feelings.

 

"If you hold your anger in it will only make it worse when you do finally lose control," the red head beamed. "I congratulate you on beating me here by the way."

 

"It was not hard to figure out. You have a nasty reputation for playing on others emotions."

 

"A talent that developed after years of having mine played."

 

Pluto moved into a guarded stance and smirked as she said, "It's funny you should mention that because I wanted to ask you, just once... Was it really because you loved him? Is all of this because you could not have him?"

 

It tastes so bitter

The words I can not hear

The things you will never say to me

I want your sweetness

I need that kindness

But it all strips away into darkness

It all washes under the current

That this feeling leaves coating my throat

It tastes so bitter and I thought you were sweet

It tastes so vile and I wanted you sweet

The taste changes my feelings and they are hard to swallow

This soured thing...

This black pit

But I wanted it so...

So sweet

 

Beryl frowned briefly and then grinned as she brought her hand up. Five crystals floated around her palm and then moved into the air multiplying as they went. The crystals hovered in waiting for her next command. The Senshi eyed them and then focused back onto her opponent

 

"You bring him up as if he was my only defining factor," the dark queen said almost laughing, half insulted. Ruby red eyes narrowed and she grinned, her fangs practically bit into her lower lip. She shook her head and then said, "We haven't the time for playfully banter as I would like, but no...No he was not my all consuming reason. I mentioned before having my emotions played. Metalia picked up on my feelings for him. They were much, much easier for her to understand in her state and I think anyone would jump to that conclusion considering the way I went about things with the little brat. But then why would anyone else consider my other reasons? Why would anyone be able to tap into something so guarded as my true feelings?"

 

Beryl did not wait for a response and closed her still open hand into a tight fist. The crystals in the air rained down at a momentous speed stabbing into anything they happened to touch. Pluto managed to deflect a number of them with her staff but for the most part did what she could to dodge the onslaught.

 

Next, Setsuna thought, next she will start to raise the rubble to throw at me...but that would be a serious mistake considering where we are.

 

As she thought the ground beneath her feet began to shake and large portions of the land began to rise into the air. Her foe was calm and patiently waiting.

"I know, you think I'm foolish for fighting you here," Beryl said calmly. "But why haven't you used that attack of yours yet? I thought you wanted to provide me with some justice, but you're purposely letting me toy with you. It's utterly hopeless you know. You've seen what happens."

 

Hunks of rock and dirt began their sudden and vicious attack towards the spot where Pluto had been waiting. She seized the moment and jumped up onto a giant slab, barely dodging another barrage of crystals as she used her staff to vault herself closer to the sinister woman. She landed on the toppled statue of Hades and spun her staff to deflect more crystals. She shut her eyes and collected her power.

 

"Dead scream," Sailor Pluto whispered in a very controlled and nearly inaudible tone.

 

The pieces of the land that Beryl controlled began to turn on her, but she merely smirked and held them back, almost without effort.

 

They stood locked in battle for a few moments more and then Pluto closed her eyes and vanished. Beryl's attack flung itself at the spot where the elegant warrior was in an avalanche of rock and dirt. The evil ruler of the dark kingdom laughed victoriously, suddenly stopped short as her breath was squeezed by the powerful feel of Pluto's staff at her throat.

 

"How-" Beryl tried to speak but the grasp she was in was too strong.

 

"You have really insulted me by daring to enter my domain and destroy me. You are over confident in your powers over earth," Setsuna whispered sharply into the villain's ear. "I should banish you into the far reaches of Time and have you vainly attempt the walk back to where you belong. I should strangle the life out of you for the injury your little tryst has caused to me."

 

The grip about her neck loosened and the red head replied, "But you won't will you. You can't. You are bound-"

 

The strangle hold tightened up again and the woman gasped.

 

Deep merlot colored eyes darkened and the sound of the Senshi's voice grew to something heavy, "I am bound by my duty, not that you understand what that means. You should count yourself lucky that I am not quick to anger. You should feel blessed that I understand my place in the Universe, because the revenge I could inflict upon you for your actions towards the Moon Kingdom alone would be enough to make even the gods weep."

 

"Will you? Will you do it Setsuna?" The tone was all loss and pleading. It was thick with the sound of someone who had spent a lifetime doing nothing but wrong and finally wished for retribution.

 

"What?" her grip loosened.

 

She had to move to look into the ruby red eyes of her foe, eyes whose brightness were dulling to the color of blood, and were stung with regret. Eyes that were so sad and lost in darkness that even she, the Guardian of Time, could not help but feel great pity. That kind of loneliness was something she could feel deeply. It was something that stung at her from the echoes of Time. It prodded at her past, in those years before she became Time's Guardian again.

 

Before she could do anything further Pluto called the delinquent key into her hands. She placed it around her neck and then struck her staff into ground as a void of darkness rose up and wrapped up around both women.

 

Under the hush of this silent flight

I seek only the truth tonight

I want to fall under your rage

I need to know your vengeance will catch me in its cage

I have lingered on the thought of this moment

This pull into our greater fates

I swallow all the bitter edges

The sharp cuts of your rejection

All the hate you carry with you

Under the harsh sting of this anger

I wait for the silence that will come

The endless sound of your tears upon my face

The patter of rain on a grave no one would dare mourn

I have lost you

I always lose you

To fate

To destiny

To time

To a love you could never see passed

You could never see me

But I have one thing

I've this tiny chance

It is what Time can offer

It is but a passing glance

And the promise bittersweet

That once again we should meet

 

They stood in complete darkness; or rather the place where they stood was void of color. There was no light and yet they could clearly see each other. Sailor Pluto was at ease in the space, but Beryl looked around bewildered by the surroundings.

 

"Where are we?"

 

"We are in the space between Time. It is a section of nothing between Time. It is a place of creation where the next moment folds into existence."

 

"And where-"

 

"This empty space occurs the second before Sailor Moon destroys both you and Metalia."

 

The red head seemed to resist what would have been her natural reaction of pure anger at defeat. She shrunk in her place.

 

Pluto arched an eyebrow and sighed. She pushed away her staff until it vanished so she could cross her arms over her chest.

 

"I don't know how you managed it and frankly I do not care to know. The fact that you could squeeze out of Metalia's grasp to avoid destruction is highly impressive, especially considering that you had combined yourself into her. But that you would dare attempt to tamper with things in Time can not be forgiven. You could have just escaped and found another life for yourself."

 

"The only life I wanted was the one I could not have, Setsuna," Beryl returned softly understanding her defeat.

 

"Why do you insist upon calling me that?"

 

"It's your name, and it suits you best. It always did. There was a time you did not mind hearing it from me."

 

Her voice and her eyes pleaded for the recognition and the Senshi could do nothing but concede, "You destroyed any right you ever had to that name. You decided to walk a path of destruction and use you gift, all that wonderful power... you squandered it. Your jealousy blinded you and kept you from seeing all the other people and things that could love you the way you wanted."

 

"I didn't want their love!" Hot rage built up inside her visible in her eyes, the tension of her muscles and then dying as her despair and defeat took her over again, "I wanted you... "

 

She could not cry. She dared not cry. She wanted so badly to cry. To take the broken woman up in her arms and say she was sorry that fate should be so cruel but she could not. Just like Beryl everything Setsuna felt was buried in the color of her eyes. And she was sorry, she felt guilty but anything she felt could not undo what had been. It would not change the way things would end, and it would certainly not stop Beryl from turning to the call of evil. All those choices, all those roads could only be walked and arranged by the woman herself. There was hardly anything she could say but she found a few.

 

"Your sins are great and your crimes are many, but do not think that you can pass the blame for your choices on something so trite. Even I...even after everything that has occurred... Do you know what I could have done after the Dark Kingdom managed to destroy everything I loved?"

 

Beryl nodded, "I divined it once. It was curious to see you so engulfed with darkness. I'd never seen you look so beautiful. But you chose differently, it's the flaw with divination you know? You can never be sure which way someone will really go, but you can hope."

 

"I gave you...everything I could at the...the Time."

 

"Did you? It just wasn't in the cards is that right? You wanted to love me but could not? Duty over pleasure is that the thing? But no, it wasn't any of that was it? You simply could not love me. It was all young girls' foolish dreams. You may not be fully responsible for my actions but you helped to plant the seed of my darkness."

 

"I told you all the reasons already Beryl. I gave them to you as gently as I could, and I thought you had understood."

 

"I understood only that it hurt. I could have almost swallowed the bitterness of losing you, only to have end up loving Serenity. I could almost understand that. But then her daughter stole his affections and that was just too much to abide with. So I decided no one would be happy. I knew what would happen when I let Metalia control me. I knew how she would play on my feelings. But I also knew you, and I hoped to die by your hands back then. I hope for it still."

 

Sailor Pluto shook her head and walked over to the woman, placing a hand on her shoulder. A burst of light began to form around them as she whispered, "You don't deserve it."

 

The light was blinding, radiating across the artic sky. Metalia screeched as her victory was crushed by the power of the Silver Crystal. Deep within her Beryl looked down upon the brat of a princess and wept. She did not even bother to try and offer more help as Metalia screamed for her to do so.

 

"All our power is gone," she said amid the dominance that irradiated over her, quickly destroying her and freeing her soul. "And like the crystal foretold... our jealousy has destroyed us."

 

Under the pale of the moon

I once knew a beautiful woman

Who gave me all she could

She gave me pleasures but she couldn't give me love

Her heart was supped up by another

Her fate tied to the Moon

Under the rock of a steady breeze

I once knew a powerful woman

Who gave me all she could

She gave me kisses deep as the night

But she couldn't give me love

She couldn't give me love

So I gave her vengeance

I gave her a little of my broken heart

And her agony is my happiness

And her sorrow is my joy

And her hatred of me is her love

Yes I knew a woman

But she just didn't know me

 

She stood at the Center of Time and watched the image.

 

Two young women kissed fervently beneath a large tree as the sun set in the distance and the moon began to rise. The weather was clear and warm and not another soul was near them. They broke the kiss and then sat with each other amid the tall green grass. One was slightly taller than the other with a paler pallor, red hair and eyes the color rubies, and the other had a darker olive complexion, evergreen hair that stretched to her back and eyes like the deepest cup of wine. They watched the last of the color bleed from the sky as the darker blue blacks over took it. The stars came out and they fell into each others arms.

 

"Do you think it will always be like this, even when I'm queen," the red head asked.

 

"I think we are better off appreciating the Time we have been given," her companion replied solemnly.

 

"You have your father's out look on life."

 

"No, I have his understanding of it."

 

The red head was going to say something more but she was stopped by a finger to her lips.

 

"Don't ruin the moment with what the future could bring," the young woman with the maroon eyes said hurriedly.

 

And then they fell back into the pull of young lust, and the hint of what could have been a great love.

 

The image faded and Pluto was met with eyes of the same color looking back at her, another self that she had not seen for ages. She sighed and shook her head but the other self spoke before she could even think of a decent question to ask.

 

"I told you it would not be easy for you. That is why I gave you the choice."

 

Pluto looked across at the older version of her self and tried not to sound angry, "You offered me a choice when there was none to make. How could you think I would ever refuse?"

 

"I did not think you would, I wanted to at least let you know that it would not be easy. But however hard it was going to be for you I also knew that you would have a chance for something that I never would."

 

"What exactly would I have?"

 

"Love."

 

She quirked an eyebrow and whispered dryly, "Yes lucky me."

 

"You can look and see how things would have been if you had said no."

 

"I have, thank you. Even then she does not choose the right path. We still end up enemies and I think over all it's just as big of a mess as it is now."

 

"Put aside Beryl for moment and consider the one you really love."

 

She shut her eyes and bit at her bottom lip. "Anyway I look at it I'm partially responsible for ruining her life. I break her heart and she never recovers."

 

"It is not like you to brood like this. You said it yourself there were other options open to her. She chose her own path and you my dear did the same. You decided on duty and great responsibility... and because of it you were greatly rewarded."

 

"What did you choose?"

 

"I chose destruction. It was a terrible mistake but it was mine to make."

 

Pluto sighed, "We seem to make those big mistakes every two thousand years or so."

 

"It's change. As Time does so must we and for the better I would say. You must cherish everything you have been given...even the things you wish you could undo. There are always worse things you could have done."

 

The other version of her self faded and she was left alone at the center. She took a moment and then straightened herself. She looked into the center and said, "Show me what happens if I take the key Beryl found and place on the key ring so that it never falls off."

 

She watched the play of images, her expression void of emotion.

 

"And if I take it from her when Sailor Moon defeats Metalia?"

 

A new set of images played through and she shut her eyes sadly. She nearly walked away and then a thought came to her head.

 

"What if," she asked solidly, "I take the key and move it some place else so that Beryl does not find it?"

 

The images sprang forth and her exact reaction was hard to read.

 

"I suppose my course of action is clear then," she whispered and walked off deep into the swirl of Time.

 

To be continued...