Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Under the Pale of a Vanishing World ❯ Seeking Forgiveness as She Drowns in Regret and the Lover after Me ( Chapter 5 )

Title: Under the Pale of a Vanishing World

Chapter 5: Seeking Forgiveness as She Drowns in Regret and the Lover after Me

Rating: PG-13

Poetry is mine

Sailor Moon and its characters do not belong to me. I am just borrowing.

Shoujo-ai Content

 

The sun shone brightly on the silvery garden and she sat soaking up the warmth listening to the gentle falling of the water from a fountain that was a few leagues off. She had always enjoyed the garden, finding solace in its steady routine of perennial flowers. Her head throbbed with pain and she held her hand over her eyes for a brief moment.

 

"I suppose the pain means everything has been fixed," she whispered to herself.

 

She released a breath of relief as quiet footfalls padded into her vicinity. She looked passed her fingers and tried a smile, but it fell as the figure approaching returned the gesture.

 

Everything about Queen Serenity felt like a trick of the light. It seemed impossible for someone to be so beautiful, both on the inside and outside all at once. She had a shine, an inner light that stretched out and touched people. Setsuna supposed it was because of the woman's passing relation to a goddess, and then understood that such an inner shine, that wondrous glow could come even from people who had no relations to the gods at all. She knew that she did not have that kind of light about her. That kind of beauty was reserved for a very special and select few.

 

The queen took a seat next to the Senshi and held her hand over her eyes to shade her face from the sun. Her silver hair was arranged in its usual style and she wore a light dress with a pair of practical heels that did not distract from her regal demeanor. She looked out on the flowers and sighed. Then she tilted her head to look at the woman next to her and spoke gently, "You look terrible, love. Having a bit of a rough day?"

 

"That is a mild understatement," the Time Guardian replied almost sardonic in her tone.

 

"So," Serenity looked at her more closely, "I knew I was right. You did look older at that party. You weren't you... you were another you. And you are most definitely a bit older right at this moment." And then she laughed at the lovely absurdity of the statement, "But I suppose all versions of you no matter what Time you come from...are still fundamentally and always, well..."

 

"Me," she smiled. She missed having that kind of conversation.

 

"Walk with me?"

 

"Always."

 

The two women stood and began to walk through the garden. They paused every so often to admire a bed of flowers or a particular fountain. They watched from a distance as the young princess played with her visiting friends, running through the pathways playing hide and seek. Finally they entered a section of the gardens that was hidden except to those who knew the secret to entering.

 

They pushed passed a large wall of hedge and into the private alcove, a hidden garden removed from prying eyes that was filled with colorful blooms, tall patches of grass, beautiful trees, and a crystal clear stream that ran through the center. Setsuna and Serenity sought rest under the shade of a playful willow tree whose wispy branches barely brushed along the water of the stream.

 

"Tell me of your troubles, Setsuna," the queen bade as she brushed her fingers through her lover's long evergreen locks.

 

"I've no wish-"

 

"You trouble me more when you try to keep everything locked up inside you," she interrupted. Serenity pulled the taller woman closer and let her rest her head on her lap. She looked down into pools of merlot, the sad eyes of one so cursed with a differing kind of immortality and said, "There is nothing you can not tell me."

 

Time's Guardian shut her eyes and listened to the ripple of the water. She tried not to fall to distraction at the light touch of gentle hands stroking her face.

 

"Am I going to have to make it a royal command?"

 

"No... I just. Things happen and I... I can't stop them. There is nothing I can do that would not just make things worse."

 

"Bad things I take it?"

 

"Yes...," she paused to look up into the eyes of the woman she loved, "I..."

 

Guilt struck at her insides. What could she say? What could she say that would mean anything? Things happened. Time happened. There was no stopping it.

 

"Bad things happen, love. They happen to everyone. I mean... think of me."

 

Yes, poor Serenity. Just barely queen, just newly married, and with a child already coming and everything seemed so perfect on the Moon. But then it happened, that unexpected flaw, that something to shake the dream. The king died. It was sudden, an illness that seemed to come from nowhere. Serenity had to learn to fend for herself, and there was no one who she could really turn to. But she pulled herself from the ashes of grief and loss making herself a strong ruler and an excellent parent. She faced the bad for all it was worth refusing to let it topple her.

 

Oh, Setsuna thought, but that is nothing compared to what is coming love. It is nothing to the horrors the Earth's new queen will unleash upon you and yours... what she'll do to the entire galaxy.

 

"I know," Setsuna said aloud. "It was just... Time got a little personal with me today and it hurts. I feel helpless in its grasp because of the future."

 

Tears were beginning to stream down her face and the queen commenced wiping them away. She bent down to trail kisses along the darker woman's face. The regal ruler meant to comfort but it was like torture. It felt like the tiny stab of Destiny mocking their plight.

 

"You spent too long venturing through Time. I've never seen you so." She considered for a moment and then a streak of bare recollection showered in upon her. She swallowed hard and then said as softly as she could, "Oh... I think I know. How cruel Time is to you my love... This was not just about me. It was also about her."

 

Setsuna turned on her side to face away from her lover. She gritted her teeth and then relaxed. It hurt so much. She wanted to save them all. She wanted so much and Time allowed her so little.

 

"We make our own choices love. We walk our own paths and despite anything others may do to persuade us, we are still the ones who are in control. Do not fret for the future and be happy for what you have been given right now. Right here in this moment we are safe. Even she in this moment is safe."

 

She sat up and wiped her eyes dry. Words of comfort that did just that, how many times over the course of her undertaking had she uttered the same exact thing? How many times had she said them to her selves when she was in agony? But sometimes...sometimes those gems of advice, those pearls of wisdom and candor, and those things that comfort and warm after a long storm... sometimes they only make sense when they are spoken by someone else, when they are uttered with true and unabashed love.

 

"I love you, Serenity."

 

The queen smiled and moved, hugging the taller woman close to her, "I know. And I love you as well, always... no matter what the future should bring. I know how you feel deep in your heart. I know how your duty rips you to shreds when you feel you should have done more. You always do what is right Setsuna. You always do what you must and that... that is why our love surpasses even death."

 

She pulled back and then moved forward to capture the softness of lips that understood her better than perhaps even her selves ever could. The kiss was lasting and the grass was cool as Serenity pulled her down into it.

 

The moment was wide.... it filled her heart and healed pieces of it she thought eternally broken.

 

Under the pale

I seek for a dream

I wander for a moment of peace

And it seems

As if I'm drowning in sorrow

The black of my heart

All I want is release

Or the courage to tear this feeling apart

And then she is there with words so sweet

She reminds me of a promise

Something I must keep

With kisses soft and caresses so warm

She teaches my soul to sing and I learn

I remember my love and all I hold dear

When she holds me close and whispers so near

"We have this gift, this blessed relief

It is the vow that throughout Time we shall meet"

 

Morning light crept through the curtains and poured out over the bed. She stirred at the warmth reaching out her hand to touch what was no longer there. Longing and lonely eyes opened as she sat up drawing the covers with her. She leaned into the dark wood of the head board and sighed sadly.

 

She took a moment an instant so brief it could hardly be noticed as being done. She peered through Time.

 

In the Future she saw an older version of herself peering back at her, alone in her bed and wanting.

 

In the past she saw a relatively younger self peering back at her with a subtle grin, she looked towards her left and it was fairly obvious she was not alone in her bed.

 

"That's it then," she muttered. "Everything is back on track and fixed."

 

She shut her eyes to keep herself from bursting into tears. She knew deep inside she had made the right decisions. She just wished she could have had more Time with Serenity. She wished that it did not pass like a dream through her memory. She wanted so badly to be able to wake by her lover's side each and every morning, but such luxuries were not to be had.

 

There was a light knock on her door. She got out of bed pulling on her robe and padded over to open it. Bright crimson eyes looked up at her and the young girl who stood there smiled widely.

 

"Good morning Puu you sleepy head," the child said.

 

"And good morning to you Small Lady," Setsuna replied kneeling down so that she was at the girl's eye level. "What are you doing over here? I thought you had gone back home."

 

"I did, but um...," she paused and looked around carefully. Then she stepped further into the room and whispered, "Close the door."

 

An evergreen eyebrow arched and she smiled obeying the orders.

 

"I found something in the garden today," the child said and pulled a small golden key on a matching chain out of her pocket. "It looks kinda like the one I have."

 

The Guardian of Time's smile grew and then she said knowingly, "That's because it is like the one you have. Does anyone know you are here?"

 

"Only Hotaru... Is it yours? Do you want it back?"

 

She shook her head, "It was mine. Actually I had made it as...a gift for someone but... I suppose they misplaced it. Why don't you keep it?"

 

The child shrugged, "I already have one though."

 

"Keep it anyway. You might find a use for it...in the future."

 

The pink haired little girl nodded and tucked the trinket away in her pocket. She grinned and then playfully tugged at the older woman to go down stairs and watch some cartoons with her. Setsuna agreed after all she had completed her mission. Everything was back in place and flowing the way Time had ordered it to. She had the Time to relax for just a little while.

 

Under the pale of a vanishing world

Under the current of all I could regret

Under the pull of beautiful skies

Lost amidst the waking dream of Time

I take my actions to heart

I understand why they must be done

And I take a moment to appreciate

Each second as it comes

Time will sup us up

It will tangle a web

But through everything

Remember this one thing I have said

Time gives us promises that it intends to keep

It offers us chances to forever meet

It gives us a gift to savor a love so very bittersweet

 

Far in the future Neo-queen Serenity walked side by side with Sailor Pluto. They spoke softly amid the corridors about serious matters and some not so pressing issues. As they moved up along the palace hallways two young women raced passed them giggling and sounding of mischief. The queen stopped and watched them run off and then she regarded the woman next to her with a questioning glance.

 

"You've spoiled them, Lady Pluto," the queen said almost chiding.

 

"Why say such things when you know it isn't true?"

 

"So you are telling me you haven't bent any rules?"

 

An almost cheeky grin appeared on the Time Guardian's face, "No, would I-"

 

"You would, so sate my curiosity that I may defend you should anyone else question me."

 

Setsuna's eyes wander off lingering on the space where the two girls had just been. She soaked in the ghost of the image one young woman with soft pick hair and crimson eyes; the other with near jet black hair and eyes the color of amethyst who was wearing a gold chain around her neck with a matching key. Their laughter bit at the corner of her mind and she sighed sadly as she looked back towards the queen.

 

"Sometimes even true love can not fend off what Time will bring. Not all endings are as happy as you and Endymion..."

 

"Yes but-"

 

"Do not fret for their future and allow them what Time they have," Pluto said solidly and continued her walk. She stopped but once, peering ahead, seeing in the distance eyes of her own color looking sorrowfully back and she nodded.

 

Time happened.

 

It always would.

 

It was a strange thing that teased at life like nothing else could. Setsuna knew that. Setsuna lived it. She was Time's most beautiful paradox. She had her duty, but her duty never kept her from helping those she loved, especially when it was clear that a rule was meant to be broken.

 

She had her endings and she had her beginnings.

 

She had one great love that haunted her heart.

 

And above all she had a promise, a tiny bobble that came to her from the depths of Time. It was the one thing she cherished over all else. It was an event numbering in ten and she waited patiently for that moment when she would be able to see her true love again.

 

End.