Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Dreaming ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

Dreaming, part 1, by Dharmaserenity

 

Pairing(s): Hakkai x Gojyo

 

Disclaimers : the characters of Saiyuki are copyrighted to

Kazuya Minekura, used without permission and no money is being made from the following fanfic

 

Rating: NC-17 or 18+

 

Warnings : m/m sex, graphic sex, violence

 

Spoilers : This takes place some time after the anime Gensomaden Saiyuki ends

 

Feedback : Please let me know what you think.

 

 

 

 

Hakkai finished dealing the cards. He looked at his hand and then threw in two chips.

 

Gojyo grinned around a cigarette. “I'll see your bet and raise you twenty.”

 

Hakkai squint smiled. “Oh, well, I'm all out of money. I'll have to fold then.”

 

Gojyo eyed him with impatience. “Oh, come on, Hakkai. I'm bored. I'll spot you a few bucks.”

 

Hakkai shook his head and stood up, taking as many of the dirty glasses as he could carry with him to the sink. “Sorry, but I already owe Sanzo five dollars from earlier.” Hakkai stretched. “Well, it's time I headed off to bed. We've got to head out early so don't stay up too late.”

 

Hakkai headed upstairs and changed into a roomy pair of pants and a slightly oversized shirt before climbing into bed. He removed his monacle and placed it on the bedside table before lying down and turning onto his side.

 

As he settled down, Hakkai let his mind drift over the memory of Kanan as he did every night before closing his eyes and letting sleep take him.

 

~*~*~*

 

Gojyo was in the midst of smoking his third cigarette since Hakkai left and playing a game of war against himself, when finally, becoming fed up, he flipped the entire deck of cards outward, arcing them as he lazily watched them flutter to the floor. Goyjo stubbed out the cigarette and went over to the window.

 

It wasn't just boredom.

 

“I need a woman.”

 

The trouble was, he had one just the other night, at the last town they passed through. And she was an energetic gal that kept him up all night. It was not as if these moments had been coming by too often, what with Sanzo wanting to keep good time on the road, so he'd been finding a way to cope with less and less encounters with the opposite sex. He had to.

 

So he didn't understand what the problem was this particular evening. He didn't normally have a problem until at least 4 or 5 days had passed without a woman.

 

So what was bothering him this time?

 

“Shut up.”

 

Gojyo had been saying that to himself a lot lately, especially on long, lonely nights when going to sleep wasn't an option, or if sleep merely eluded him. Each time, a persistent voice would spring up from deep within his psyche, suggesting things that he didn't have the guts to face.

 

The voice was particularly persistent on nights he spent time alone with Hakkai.

 

Gojyo paced, trying to work the thoughts out of his system through exercise. It was as if the thoughts were new each time, but then Gojyo would remember that he had these thoughts before, and had only tamped them down in an effort to not think about them. But the thoughts came unbidden anyway.

 

“Fuck it.”

 

Gojyo headed upstairs, pulling off his flimsy red tank top and removing the bandana from his hair. He snuck into the room he shared with Hakkai and pulled off the rest of his clothes.

 

Gojyo turned around and stared down at Hakkai, seeing from the steady rise and fall of his chest, that his friend was sound asleep. Gojyo's half demon eyes, as they easily made out the movement in the dark, fixated on that rise and fall.

 

Gojyo swallowed, his throat clicking audibly, before he climbed onto the bed with Hakkai. Gojyo stared down at Hakkai's face, finding it soft, pleasant... and wanting to trace his fingertips over it.

 

Gojyo gently pulled the covers away, Hakkai stirring only slightly at the careful movement. Gojyo dared to lift Hakkai's loose, blue shirt, staring at the scar on his soft abdomen, then decided to finally wake up his friend by sliding both of his hands up under the shirt. He moved the material upward as his hands slid across warm, soft skin. Gojyo stared down at Hakkai's exposed flesh, and felt his body's own arousal begin to kick to life.

 

Hakkai let out a soft moan in his sleep, and Gojyo, his heart thumping and feeling as if it were in his throat, leaned down and gently traced his lips against Hakkai's. A little thrill shivered through him when he felt Hakkai's lips respond to his kiss. He parted his lips and slid his tongue inside to take a sweet taste.

 

Hakkai responded automatically, enjoying Gojyo's kiss before doing a little exploring of his own. He traced Gojyo's teeth with the tip of his tongue, before licking the roof of Goyjo's mouth.

 

Then Hakkai's eyes opened in shock as he panted for breath, his heart hammering away in his chest. Hakkai turned his head, and looked over at Gojyo's sleeping form in the bed across the room. Hakkai's hand came up from under the covers to trace his own lips, as if he could will back the phantom sensation of his friend's lips upon his own.

 

It was just a dream -- another one.

 

Hakkai turned to face the ceiling once more, one side of his vision blurred, causing his eyes pain. He had to close his eyes or he would get a headache from the uneven vision.

 

Hakkai thought about the dreams he had been having over the last two weeks. He didn't understand them, and they made him feel so alone. The dreams were growing more and more frequent, and as troubling as they were, he was unable to share his worries and burdens with his friends, for obvious reasons. Hakkai wondered if the inability to get this off his chest was only making things worse.

 

After a time, his thoughts drifted and became fragmented, as sleep claimed him once more.

 

~*~*~*

 

“Give it back, you little monkey!”

 

“Nah ah! I'm not giving back a thing!” And with that, Goku stuffed the last meat bun, whole, into his mouth.

 

“Why you little…!”

 

“SHUT UP!!!” Both Gojyo and Goku clutched their smarting foreheads where Sanzo had just smacked them with his fan.

 

Sanzo lit a cigarette, looking bored and angry at the same time.

 

Gojyo glared at Sanzo. “What kind of pansy smacks people with a fan?!”

 

Sanzo, not even looking his way, replied, “The kind that will take out his gun in a moment if you don't shut up!”

 

Hakkai held up both hands, squint smile in place, “My my, all these flared tempers and its barely even noon.” He stood up from the table. “I'm going to head to the room to pack and get Hakuryu ready. I'll meet you guys outside.”

 

Gojyo narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. Then Gojyo was surprised to find Sanzo regarding him in silence. Gojyo's red eyes flicked away before he lit another cigarette.

 

~*~*~*~

 

Hakkai sat in the jeep, trying to keep his thoughts neutral. But again, Hakkai's mind betrayed him.

 

“I wish I may, I wish I might…”

 

Those were the words he had spoken two weeks before.

 

Hakkai had never made that wish. He didn't have to. As Gojyo had pointed out, “That's just because, you know, you've already everything you want.”

 

Hakkai had been startled by that insightful declaration on his friend's part.

 

`How much did Gojyo know?'

 

It was a question Hakkai had been asking himself since then. He had been relieved, as they all were, that the terrible business with Homura was over, and they were all alive and well to continue on with their journey. Yes, much to be grateful for, but Hakkai's mind continued to obsess over Gojyo's astute comment. There had been more to it… something in the way that he said it to give Hakkai a clear message that he understood far more of the workings of Hakkai's mind.

 

Hakuryu squeaked a whimper and Hakkai smiled. “There, there, Hakuryu. Never mind me. I'm just a little preoccupied.”

 

Hakkai stiffened a little when the others came out of the tavern and climbed into the jeep. He quickly looked up and his gaze met Gojyo's for a brief moment before Hakkai flicked his own green eyes away.

 

Gojyo narrowed his own eyes in response but said nothing.

 

Goku innocently piped up, “What the hell's going on? Are you two fighting about something? You're acting all weird.”

 

Gojyo, irritated, barked, “Why don't you mind your own business dick wad! Maybe we're all just a little tired after dispensing with a war god and his other little godly friends, ok?!”

 

Goku rolled his large golden eyes, “Geez, you don't have to have a heart attack about it. I was just asking.”

 

Sanzo, with eye twitching, yelled, “Will you two just shut up! I've had enough of your yapping to last the week. Hakkai, start driving!”

 

And with that, Hakkai started the jeep and the four continued on their journey.

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

Hakkai stood in the kitchenette of the small house they had rented for a minor sum. He swatted at the occasional fly and ignored the centipede crawling up the wall behind the sink as he pulled the groceries out of the bag. Goku danced in glee behind him.

 

“Food! Food! When do we get to eat, Hakkai?!”

 

Hakkai chuckled. “Soon, Goku. Soon. Now why don't you go play cards with Gojyo so I can get started on this chicken?” He began washing the chicken under the running tap.

 

Goku, sounding impatient, said, “Oh, all right.” He shuffled off in search of Gojyo. He found Gojyo standing against the front door, looking out the small window there, smoking a cigarette with a thoughtful look on his face.

 

Gojyo looked at Goku and said, “Goku, why don't you go find Sanzo? He's been out there meditating for awhile.” Gojyo then turned and studied Hakkai's back as Hakkai worked at the kitchenette's sink, Hakkai's posture suddenly stiff with tension.

 

Goku whined, “Oh ok. Jeez, you guys keep chasing me away like I'm some kid.”

 

Gojyo fished out a small chocolate bar, and dangled it in front of Goku. “I'll give you this candy bar if you just shut up and go.”

 

Goku jumped up and down in happiness, and then gobbled up the chocolate, barely getting the wrapper off beforehand. “Ok, I'll go find Sanzo. He couldn't have gone very far.” Goku stepped out the front door and headed out into the night.

 

Gojyo continued to study Hakkai's back in silence.

 

And Hakkai could feel Gojyo's eyes upon him.

 

After a time, Gojyo took a step forward and then another.

 

Before too long, Gojyo was standing a mere two feet behind Hakkai, Hakkai continuing to prepare the meal, even though he knew that Gojyo was standing there.

 

After awhile, Hakkai couldn't stand it any longer. Without turning he demanded, “What?!”

 

Gojyo took the last drag from his cigarette, the smoke curling from his lips, his red lashes shielding his eyes from it, then Gojyo threw the butt down to the floor to grind it up with his boot. “Nothing.” His tone was one of derision, and stinging.

 

Hakkai whirled around, “Gojyo, I can't stand this anymore! If you have something to say to me then say it.”

 

Gojyo, having already been walking away, looked over his shoulder at Hakkai. “But you don't want to hear it.”

 

Hakkai's eyes widened, then he stammered, “Gojyo, just stop it. Stop with the innuendo and the half-assed attempts to draw me out… to do something… I don't know!” Hakkai ran his hands over his thick hair in frustration.

 

Gojyo merely watched him for a moment before turning fully around. He walked up to Hakkai, standing really close, his cigarette-laden breath fanning the brunette's face.

 

“What is it you're afraid of, Hakkai? Of me? Suddenly? Or is it just that you're afraid now because I'm on to you. That I know what you're thinking and what you want and you can't deal with that because it means you've got to own up to some things to yourself?

 

Hakkai looked angry. “You don't know what you're talking about?”

 

Gojyo, arching a brow, threw Hakkai a lazy smile. “Oh? Then why are the two of us so tense around each other lately? And why do you try to avoid me at every opportunity. You don't think I've noticed that you've been pushing Monkey Boy at me at every opportunity…

 

Hakkai interrupted, “Don't call him that, you…”

 

Gojyo, with a disgusted dismissal, “Oh come on, you know I don't mean anything by that… Look! Stop trying to change the subject. Well? What is it, Hakkai? What's got you so tense, huh? Or do you want me to tell you?” His look was pointed - this was a challenge.

 

Hakkai looked frustrated yet again, silenced, almost afraid to speak, feeling cornered. “Gojyo, just drop it…”

 

Gojyo took a step forward, their chins bumping as Hakkai quickly tried to back away. “Gojyo!”

 

Gojyo took Hakkai's upper arms in a firm grip and pulled him close, their mouths pressing together as Gojyo took his time tasting Hakkai's mouth, the other man mildly protesting at first, trying to push away, before finally, Hakkai succumbed to the sweet sensations cascading down his body at the kiss.

 

Hakkai's long, tapered fingers clung to the plum colored shirt that Gojyo was wearing, a moan escaping from his parted lips as the kiss continued.

 

When Gojyo pulled away to look into his green eyes, Hakkai whispered fiercely, “Gojyo, we can't do this...,” but it was clear to Gojyo and Hakkai both, that Hakkai was merely saying this and didn't believe it.

 

Gojyo gave Hakkai a playful smirk, but his eyes said more as he said, “Let's talk about this later. When we're alone.”

 

Just then Goku and Sanzo came through the door, Goku yelling, “Hey Hakkai? How come I can't smell dinner cooking?!”

 

Gojyo rolled his crimson eyes then turned around to give Goku a withering gaze. “How about if I eat you?”

 

Gojyo then walked over to Goku, pulled at Goku's arm and as the young man watched in almost placid fascination, Gojyo sank his teeth into Goku's arm, turning and twisting his head to rend a chunk of flesh from it.

 

Hakkai went pale at the sight.

 

Sanzo merely lifted his gun and pointed it at Gojyo's temple, blood and gore dripping from Gojyo's mouth as he just waited for it.

 

Sanzo's voice, hard and unflinching, said, “Time for you to die.” Then Sanzo pulled the trigger.

 

 

 

 

Gojyo woke up covered in sweat and looked around hurriedly in the dark room.

 

`Holy fuck! It was just a dream. Good thing cause it got pretty weird towards the end.' he thought.

 

In the dark, Gojyo sat up in bed and lit a cigarette, looking at the sleeping forms of all his travel mates, his eyes lingering the longest on Hakkai's sleeping form, Hakkai's face peaceful as it rested on the pillow next to Hakuryu's head.

 

 

To be continued...