Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Craving Touch ❯ Chapter 7

Craving Touch

Chapter 7

by: eternalsailorsolarwind

 

Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all of its characters belong to Minekura Kazuya, her Japanese publishers, Tokyopop, and several other legal entities whose names escape me at the moment. I just write fanfics with her characters for fun.

 

A/N: Picking up directly where we left off in chapter 6. Hakkai's point of view this time. Definite angst at the start, but we make a big break-though here. Only the epilogue remains after this. Only the epilogue remains after this, though there will also be a side story, since I want to keep the rating where it is right now. ^_^ Once again, many thanks to compli_cait, for the superb beta job.

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“Holy shit, Hakkai. Did you just kiss me?”

 

Hakkai was held in place as much by the words as the hand on his sleeve. His panicking mind idly noted that the grip was surprisingly strong for a man in Gojyo's current condition. Of course, that mind also pointed out other details, such as how deeply red the eyes looking at him were right then, and that the kappa desperately needed a shave.

 

He also knew that he had less than a minute to come up with a plausible excuse for kissing his best friend. His best friend who had no romantic interest in men in general, and Hakkai in particular. It was unfortunate that his mind refused to cooperate, frozen with shock at Gojyo's disbelieving question.

 

“Hakkai,” Gojyo asked, beginning to sound strained. “Come on man, say something.”

 

Blinking stupidly, the healer mentally shook himself, attempting to function normally.

 

“Your grip is still as strong as ever, Gojyo,” the converted youkai replied, long practice allowing his voice to sound pleasant and slightly aloof. In other words, completely normal. Act normal, and perhaps Gojyo will be distracted. Act normal, and it never happened. “I had worried that your injuries may have left you with a lingering weakness. And we both know what Sanzo would have said about that.”

 

The redhead stared at him for a moment. “You sure can shovel the shit, Hakkai. It's amazing how sweet-smelling yours is, too.”

 

The brunette stilled, hearing the venom in those words, killing any hope of distracting the other man. Really, it was amazing the shouting hadn't started already. “Gojyo?”

 

The kappa's voice was tight with blossoming anger. “You just kissed me, Hakkai. Twice.”

 

The healer opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Hakkai was beginning to wonder where he had left his brain this morning, as he was able to do little more than react to Gojyo. And why on earth that obviously-malfunctioning organ thought it would be a good idea to kiss the other man, even if he'd thought the redhead asleep at the time, was completely beyond him.

 

“Twice!” Gojyo struggled to push himself upright, his hand still holding tightly to Hakkai's tunic sleeve. “But that ain't what's pissin' me off.”

 

Mechanically, he helped his best friend sit up, belatedly wondering if that was such a good idea. From this vantage point, Gojyo could attempt to hit him - and possibly even make contact. But then the enormity of what the redhead said sunk in, making his head spin.

 

“I-it's not?” Hakkai hated himself for both the question and the way he asked it. He had a feeling that showing weakness - any kind of weakness - in front of the kappa would be a bad thing right now.

 

“No! You told me - to my face, Hakkai - that it would never happen.”

 

Hakkai remembered back to that day when he had first woken up in the redhead's bed after his transformation into a youkai. Gojyo had been adamant that no man would ever be in his bed, and had been less than thrilled to have him there for even so mundane a reason as recuperating from a life-threatening wound. He'd hastened to assure the stranger that there was nothing to fear from him on that score. Even after moving in, Hakkai had always been careful to never give his new roommate a reason to take offense at his presence. Until now, it seemed. He opened his mouth to speak, but Gojyo steamrolled right over him.

 

“I am coming to the conclusion that what's bothering me will probably never be completely resolved.” His best friend mimicked him almost perfectly, glittering ruby eyes boring into him. “Tell me you didn't say that.”

 

“I did say it,” agreed Hakkai, nodding slowly as he tried to process what he was hearing from the other man. None of this made any sense. He hadn't been talking about kissing Gojyo then; he'd been trying to process the fact that he'd fallen in love with his best friend - and deal with the knowledge that it would always be unrequited.

 

He blinked green eyes at the hanyou in bewilderment. He'd said those specific words a few weeks back, right before.... The connection was sudden and blinding. It was right after he'd said those words that Gojyo had shut himself off from him, disappearing into bars and generally avoiding him as much as possible. Perhaps his problem wasn't what he thought it was? There was really only one way to find out, even if it cost him a black eye or a split lip. “But I don't think I meant what you thought I did.”

 

“No?” There was still spite in the drawled word, but the active anger was ebbing away to reveal a deep confusion. “Then tell me, smart guy, what did you mean?”

 

Knowing that the other man preferred the direct approach, Hakkai took the bull by the horns. Or in this case, the kappa by the hair; tilting Gojyo's head back, he pressed a kiss to the wide-eyed redhead's lips. The converted youkai held the kiss for several seconds, savoring it, knowing it to be the last opportunity he would ever have to kiss his best friend. He pulled back, emerald-green eyes staring into startled ruby-red ones.

 

Releasing the crimson hair from his grasp, Hakkai licked his lips. “That was my problem, Gojyo. Trying to come to terms with the fact that I could never do that.”

 

He smiled wryly as his best friend gaped at him. At least he hadn't been punched yet. Finally, the other man closed his mouth, licking his own lips. The healer tensed reflexively, closing his eyes as he expected Gojyo to remember his anger and strike out. He preferred to not see the blow coming.

 

The tight grip on his sleeve disappeared, transferring instead to his shirtfront. A sharp gesture from the hanyou, and the brunette's head dropped the several inches necessary for the redhead's upturned lips to capture his own.

 

Eyes snapped open at the contact of that mouth pressing hotly against his, staring into the hanyou's watchful ones. As hard as he searched those windows into the soul of the man he had fallen in love with, he could see no anger. No disgust at kissing another man. Just something indefinable that allowed Hakkai the opportunity to hope again.

 

His eyes fluttered shut as Gojyo's warm, wet tongue slid along the seam of his lips. Opening his mouth with a groan, Hakkai surrendered to his own long-suppressed desires. He allowed the kappa's tongue entrance, shuddering at the electric jolt as the two brushed against each other. Deepening the kiss, his hands stole back into his best friend's hair, sealing them together. For the first time, he was able to truly taste the kappa: an indefinable smoky spiciness that reminded him of the peppery seeds of a papaya. A low moan from the other man brought the healer back from the fog of arousal he was becoming lost in.

 

He slowly pulled back, the passionate kiss ending as a series of small, nibbling ones. The converted youkai opened his eyes, hesitantly taking in the hanyou, wondering what was going on, if this was all a dream. To his surprise, Gojyo was smiling at him. It wasn't just any smile, either, but the simple, clean smile that lit up his best friend's face, and made heads turn to look at him. He'd fallen in love with that smile long before, perhaps because it was the only one that the redhead could not manipulate to his advantage.

 

It was something that over the years had always made him feel good when it made an appearance. But Hakkai almost never saw it, especially not directed at him.

 

“Gojyo,” asked the converted youkai carefully, “Am I dreaming, or have the last few weeks finally taken their toll on you?”

 

“Huh,” questioned the red-eyed man, still retaining a tight grip on his shirtfront. “What're you talking about?”

 

“You kissed me, Gojyo,” replied Hakkai, letting his emerald eyes glint at the man lying on the bed. “I was under the impression you would never do such a thing.”

 

The stranglehold on his shirt released, and Gojyo relaxed back onto the bed. He rubbed his face with his hands, frowning as he felt the whiskers on his chin. “Why didn't you shave me?”

 

“Gojyo!” Hakkai's voice was strained and irritated at the irrelevant question. “I didn't have a straight razor and the angle was too awkward for your disposable. Would you please answer me?”

 

“It's you, Hakkai,” Gojyo replied suddenly, his voice dead serious. The irritation flowed out of the brunette as his eyes widened at the redhead's words. “Anyone else, it wouldn't happen. It couldn't happen. But for some reason....I dunno, it's just right.”

 

Hakkai didn't know whether to laugh, cry or hit the other man. “So, you're telling me that you wanted to kiss me, but didn't. Instead, you've been out drinking for several weeks and avoiding me. And to top it off, you nearly get yourself killed. I hope, for your sake, there is a good explanation for this.”

 

The redhead cringed slightly at his tone of voice. “Come on, Hakkai. I had no idea you wanted the same thing. I mean, you barely let anyone touch you, let alone anything else. What was I supposed to think?”

 

“So this is all my fault,” the healer asked, his voice just this side of absolute zero.

 

“No! Damn it, Hakkai.” Frustration and defensiveness colored the kappa's voice, as he ran his fingers through his long hair. “I didn't say it was your fault. I just meant that...that I didn't think you'd want to know.”

 

Pausing, Gojyo looked away before continuing, “You're my best friend, man. But I just...damn it, I sound like a lovesick woman. I just didn't want to lose you to this. If being your friend's all I could have, then fine.”

 

“So you went out to drink yourself to death instead?”

 

Wincing, the other man looked back at him. “Okay, I admit I was stupid. I thought you didn't...couldn't.... Anyway, I was looking for answers at the bottom of a bottle. And I kept hoping the next bottle would give me something that the last one didn't.”

 

Hakkai frowned at him. His actions had been so very like and unlike Gojyo. It was no surprise that he'd been caught flat-footed by his best friend, especially as engrossed with his own issues as he'd been. Amazing what fools they'd both been. Sanzo was right, they really did deserve each other. Unable to help himself, he laughed.

 

“What's so funny,” the redhead asked suspiciously.

 

“Us, I'm afraid,” replied the converted youkai, subsiding into a real smile. “Sanzo does have the right of it: we do deserve each other, especially considering how stupid we've been.”

 

Pausing to mull that over, Gojyo eventually chuckled ruefully. “Yeah, well. I doubt the bastard was talking about something like this.”

 

“You never know,” reflected the brunette. “He sees more than you think; he just refuses to comment most of the time.”

 

“Who cares, anyway? We got things figured out, and we're not mad at each other anymore.” That last was said with quite a bit of hope, and while Hakkai knew things weren't perfect, at least they were on the right track. He nodded, which caused the redhead to grin. “And I'm healing fine, so why don't we....”

 

“Gojyo.” Hakkai looked at him severely, though he knew there was a twinkle in his eye. “No. You're not healed enough for that yet.”

 

“I feel fine... and how'd you know what I was thinking about, anyway?”

 

“Because the same thought crossed my mind. And you're not up to it yet,” replied Hakkai. His lips twitched as he followed the other man's eyes south. “Poor choice of words, perhaps. The answer remains the same, however. The rest of your body isn't ready for something so ...energetic.”

 

“But...”

 

“No, Gojyo. Not until you're fully recuperated.” Leaning over, he whispered in his best friend's ear, “I want to make sure you have enough ...stamina, Gojyo. You'll need it.”

 

He silenced any further protests with a long, lingering kiss that was full of many, many promises.