Sakura Wars Fan Fiction ❯ The Odd and the Weird ❯ The Dressing Tube: Sakura ( Chapter 6 )

Author's Notes:

 

Unfortunately, the chapter below will only make sense to those who own the PS2 version of Sakura Taisen 1. In that version, Sakura literally dives into her chute, where a series of smoked areas would take her clothes away and replace them with her uniform, before she comes out all prim and proper at the bottom. Seriously… just how does she manage to get herself in an upright position after that kind of entry anyway?

 

I don't have any proof readers, and though I tried to read through it, considering the length of this chapter I have a feeling I may have missed some mistakes along the way. If you find anything, let me know. Thanks!

 

Disclaimer: Sakura Taisen is owned by Sega and Red Entertainment. I am not making a profit out of this fanfic, but still, this particular story is mine, so please don't take it.

 

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The Odd and the Weird

 

Chapter 6

 

“The Dressing Tube: Sakura”

 

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Iris watched as yet another new member of the Teikoku Kagekidan Hanagumi emerged from the dressing tube; said member screaming in terror as she dove head first into the ground, with arms brought up in an attempt to protect herself.

 

Tsubaki, who was with Iris inside the briefing room, quickly rushed to Shinguuji Sakura's aid and helped the girl up from the floor. Sakura was wincing as she sat up, rubbing an elbow which was sure to be sore the following day, along with the rest of her body.

 

After making sure that Sakura was okay, Tsubaki took the receiver and contacted Maria at the second floor dressing tube hidden room. “Maria-san...”

 

“... Are there any improvements...?”

 

“No.”

 

A barely audible sigh could be heard before the Hanagumi commander replied. “Okay. Please tell Iris to send her up. We're not stopping until she gets this right.”

 

Iris, Tsubaki, and Sakura all groaned upon hearing Maria. “Do I have to?” Iris asked, pouting.

 

Sakura smiled sheepishly at the little French girl. “Don't worry, Iris - I can go up on my own,” she said.

 

Deep inside her, however, her entire body was protesting. Though Sakura was accustomed to training, the swordswoman never had run towards the locker room, change into her clothes from her uniform (her clothes of which just mysteriously appear neatly folded in her locker - she assumed the tube dumps it there after her fall), rush up three flights of stairs, rejoin her commander at the second floor hidden room, leap into the tube again as ordered, and repeat everything ad nauseum for almost three consecutive hours. In fact, she was extremely grateful that the tube had not run out of uniforms with which to change her with, though she also assumed that something about where they deposit their uniforms at the locker room had something to do with that.

 

Iris, who got involuntarily involved after choosing to satisfy her curiosity and watch, managed to spare her the sprint up the stairs with her telekinetic powers, but Sakura could tell that the girl was getting quite tired and irritable from having to teleport her to the hidden room all the time.

 

Iris turned her gaze towards her new teammate, who was obviously ailing even though she wasn't saying anything. She felt sorry for her - Sakura had been on “dressing tube training” for almost the entire afternoon, and had probably accumulated more “falling time” than any of them ever had due to this (with the possible exception of Kanna).

 

“Maybe we should tell Maria-san to take a break...?” Tsubaki suggested, though she looked as if asking Maria for that favor was the last thing she wanted to do.

 

Sakura shook her head. “No, she would probably just get angry. I'll go on up. I'll have to get it right some time, ne?”

 

Iris sighed. “Iris will take you up again,” she said.

 

“Are you sure you don't mind?” Sakura asked.

 

The little girl shrugged. She liked this new girl, though she remained a little distant for fear of what the rest of her teammates would say, as they weren't exactly friendly with Sakura. Not yet, anyway.

 

“I'm really sorry, Iris,” Sakura apologized as Iris took her hand. “I'll get it right next time.”

 

Despite what she said, however, Iris still had a doubtful look on her face as she waited for Sakura to finish dressing so that they could teleport to the hidden room.

 

----------

 

Maria stood near Sakura's tube, her arms crossed, absorbed in deep thought.

 

She just couldn't understand why the girl continuously failed to land properly.

 

It wasn't that bad landings were uncommon for the troupe. It's just that Sakura did it in such a way that Maria never thought would be humanely possible. If she could just emerge at the briefing room down below with her feet first, graceful landing or not, Maria would have been pleased. But despite the fact that she jumped with her legs swinging into the chasm first before the rest of the upper body, Sakura always, always, ended up coming out with her head out front.

 

Of course, Maria thought about the tube, and its tendency to cause problems. It could now be that somewhere along the way it was malfunctioning and was forcing the poor swordswoman to tumble just before she came out of the portrait. Sakura just fell out head first too many times for Maria to attribute it to her clumsy nature.

 

But the Kanzaki scientists had assured them that the dressing tubes were now working as they should - Kohran's “lack-of-power” discovery, along with a few well-versed threats from the rest of the Hanagumi, seriously helped. The Hanagumi themselves have tried it... using test dummies, of course. Yet even the dummies, regardless of whatever position they're in, landed perfectly at the bottom. Even Sumire's best efforts with the Kanna doll did nothing to destroy that particular track record.

 

It could be that Maria and Kohran's earlier assumptions - that the machine may not work as well with a human as it does with a dummy - was applicable with this version of the tube. But Kohran had already returned to the Hanayashiki Branch and was not around to offer her expertise. And Sakura was coming out of the hole with her uniform on, as was expected (the fact that she was the first human test subject for this new dressing tube, however, was quietly kept form her by her teammates). It was really just the landing that was failing horribly.

 

“Ah, Maria-san. You're still here?” Sumire asked in slight surprise as she entered the room.

 

“Good afternoon, Sumire,” Maria replied, still lost in thought.

 

“Please don't tell me that that country bumpkin still can't tell which direction is up.”

 

The Hanagumi leader smiled slightly. “It may not be her fault -“

 

“What do you mean it's not her fault?!” Sumire asked incredulously. “If a mere dummy can land on its knee, then no normal human being shouldn't be able to do so, right?” She shot a loathsome look at the cover to Kanna's tube.

 

“Remember, Sumire, that no actual person had tried this tube until Sakura came,” Maria pointed out, albeit in a slightly hushed tone less Sakura suddenly entered the room and heard their conversation. “There is currently no record of a successful human test.”

 

“Then we'll have to make sure Sakura-san gets it right, or I will never go down that thing!” Sumire declared.

 

Maria knew that it was pointless to dissuade Sumire when she's completely worked up on a particular subject. “Maybe we should use a dummy for the next trial, just to check if it's really working...” she supposed. The only tubes they had tested were their own plus Kanna's, and Maria was slightly ashamed to admit that they had not considered testing Sakura's first before forcing the poor girl on “training”.

 

“No, no, no!” Sumire argued, emphasizing each word with a shake of her fan. “Sakura-san's tube is perfect for this experiment because it has never been... shall we say... 'tainted'! It is completely gullible, just like its user, and if it doesn't get it right, then none of our more `experienced' tubes will work!”

 

Maria wasn't quite keen about Sumire's choice of words (she could never admit the fact that this truly was more of an “experiment” than “training”), and she failed to see the logic in her explanation either. However, she was unable to voice out any objections - the tell-tale chimes that accompanied Iris' teleportation skills were suddenly audible, and it was not long before Iris herself appeared with one of the subjects of their discussion tagging along.

 

Sakura resisted the urge to sigh the moment she saw who was in the room. It was bad enough that she had to face Maria after every disappointing fall - now she had to deal with Sumire, too.

 

Sure enough, Sumire began her nagging the moment she saw the newcomer arrive. “Sakura-san!” she admonished, causing Sakura to flinch. “Where do you get off with wasting Maria-san's time like this? Don't you know she has better things to do?!”

 

“I didn't really mean to -“

 

“No excuses! If you have the time to talk, then you should have the time to perfect your landing skills and get this over with! Honestly, these country types need to have everything defined for them!”

 

“I would have had the time if you hadn't wasted it asking questions without wanting to hear answers,” Sakura grumbled, sneaking in a glare.

 

Despite her soft voice, however, it was still loud enough for Sumire to hear. “What did you say?!” she roared.

 

“That's enough, you two,” Maria said, stepping in between the both of them. She thought the arguments within the Teigeki would cease the moment Kanna left. Sumire, however, appeared to enjoy picking fights with Sakura for some odd reason - Iris had once said that perhaps she missed Kanna and was looking for an alternative, which Sakura was unfortunately unable to supply. Though she could hold out on her own against Sumire, Sakura could also be quite meek, which just seemed to make the younger girl even more aggressive.

 

“Anyway, let's try to go over this again,” Maria continued once things have calmed somewhat. “Sakura, are you sure you don't know precisely when you flip over while you're falling?”

 

Sakura shook her head. “The chute just seems to open up at top of my head, and before I know it that's where I end up coming out.”

 

“Couldn't Sakura feel where she's going while she's falling?” Iris asked, trying to be helpful.

 

Sakura shook her head again. “There's so much smoke, it becomes hard to tell which side is up or down.”

 

Warning bells began ringing at the back of the other Hanagumi members' heads.

 

Smoke?

 

“Th-that's absurd!” Sumire said, opening her fan and covering her face so that Sakura would be unable to see the look of horror on her face. “There has never been smoke in the tube before!” Except when it blew us out after Kohran-san first tinkered around with it! She added in her thoughts.

 

“Maybe Sakura's tube is broken?” Iris offered. She, on the other hand, made no efforts to disguise the dread in her voice, thus making Sakura look at her questioningly, completely clueless about everything that had happened before.

 

Maria rested her hand on her chin. Now what? They themselves had never personally tried the new tubes before, so she couldn't tell if the smoke was indeed a sign that Sakura's tube was malfunctioning, or if it was intentional on the creators' part.

 

“Didn't Kohran mention that she fixed the... control room at the hangar when she conducted quality assurance checking before she left?” she finally asked.

 

“Urgh, Iris had not returned there since we blew that place up!” Iris commented, her face screwing up in annoyance.

 

“Surely you're not suggesting what I believe you're suggesting,” Sumire said. Though she was not yet a part of the group at that time, she knew enough about the Hanagumi's earlier exploits with the tube to understand what they were talking about.

 

Sakura, however, was oblivious, and could only look at one face after another as they spoke. “Erm... what exactly is it that you plan to do?” she asked.

 

Maria shook her head. The less Sakura knew about it, the better. “You get ready, and jump into the tube when we tell you so. Sumire, come down with me. Iris, kindly get your dummy and come back here on stand-by for deployment as well.”

 

The Hanagumi captain then walked towards the receiver in the room. “Tsubaki?”

 

“Y-yes?” came the girl's immediate reply.

 

“Please call Yuri and have her open the door to the dressing tube control room.”

 

“EEEEEEEEEEEHHH?? But why... ?”

 

“We need to check something out for Sakura's training,” Maria explained.

 

“M-M-Maria-san will...” Tsubaki's voice sounded more incredulous with each passing second.

 

Maria was not very comfortable with having to go back into the room either. But it was the only way for them to see precisely what was going on while the machine was at work.

 

“We shall be coming down in a while. Please ensure that Yuri gets the message,” The Hanagumi captain replied before turning off the radio and facing her charges. “Well then, everyone, we shall begin in five minutes. Sakura, take the time to rest until then.”

 

Everybody then left the hidden room, leaving a still bewildered and completely clueless Sakura behind.

 

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There are times in one's life where one is given the chance to make brilliant decisions and benefit greatly from them.

 

This, however, was definitely not one of Maria's.

 

For the life of her, she could not understand just why she had asked Tsubaki to contact Yuri instead of Kasumi.

 

Not that Tsubaki or Kasumi were immune to gossip. It's just that they could hold themselves back better than their comrade.

 

Even now, Yuri was already exchanging excited whispers to a flabbergasted Tsubaki as they waited for Maria and Sumire to arrive at the control room.

 

“Oooh, can you imagine the scandal if this comes out?!” Yuri was saying animatedly.

 

“But this is different! We're all women! There's nothing to be ashamed of!” Tsubaki defended, though she was still obviously in shock. “Besides, the room isn't only composed of . . . of monitors, you know! They could do something else in there!”

 

“Oh, c'mon, it's not like they know how to operate those knobs and all! What else would they be doing inside but flip on the video switch?!”

 

“What else, indeed?”

 

Yuri and Tsubaki looked up to see a very annoyed-looking Maria glaring down at them. The two Kazegumi members began to laugh sheepishly.

 

“Maria-san!” Yuri stammered. “The-The door is open... is there anything else you need?”

 

“Go back to the briefing room and observe things from there. And girls... ?”

 

Yuri and Tsubaki paused from their mid-run and slowly turned back towards Maria, who was now casually polishing her already gleaming gun in her hands...

 

“Not a word, okay?” she said nonchalantly.

 

The two girls gulped and nodded, before setting off to do as they were ordered.

 

“My, Maria-san, I never expected you were the type who threatens others into silence,” Sumire remarked as they entered the room and toggled the light switch.

 

“That wasn't a threat.”

 

“Maybe, but it sure looked like one.”

 

The Hanagumi gazed around the small room. Just as Yuri had said earlier, it was filled with knobs and buttons whose purposes they were not quite sure, though Maria suspected that some of them was what the operators once used to... well, the ones the first generation dressing tubes needed to work.

 

Despite the complexities found in the room, however, the switch for the camera and monitors were clearly labeled, as if they were extremely vital keys that nobody should forget.

 

If Maria had her way, she would have blown this place to kingdom come. There were actually still evidences of bullet marks, fist strikes, and psychic blasts all over the place. If anything, the room would have been useless after they stormed through it a few years ago. But Kohran had to use it for whatever purpose she had, so some of the objects were operational again.

 

Note that Kohran had no idea why the room was in a state of disarray when she first came into it. As far as she knew, the room was also only used for tests and maintenance, even way back with the first dressing tubes. She never did asked why it was in disrepair when she first came in though.

 

Anyway, Maria flipped the labeled switches, and for the first time Sumire saw just how... intrusive the cameras were. “This room is kept under lock and key all the time, isn't it?” she asked nervously.

 

“The Kazegumi holds the key. If anybody takes advantage of it...” Maria trailed off, but she had stated it in such a dark tone that Sumire knew nobody would ever think about goofing off inside for fear of their lives.

 

“Anyway, let's begin.” Maria reached over and pushed the button for communications, opening a mic at the hidden room on the second floor where Iris and Sakura were waiting. There was a camera present there as well, and Maria and Sumire could see the two members they had left behind in one of the monitors.

 

“Are you telling me that you used your dummy first so that you could see if your tube worked?!” Sakura's astonished voice could be heard wafting through the speakers.

 

Apparently, somebody forgot to tell Iris not to tell Sakura about that little bit of information.

 

Her dummy of which, by the way, looked like a miniature version of Kanna. And just in case the audience is wondering, all the dummies used by the Hanagumi have Kanna's likeness. There was a rumor that Sumire had requested it when orders for them were made, but whether it was fact or fiction, nobody was sure. It was very interesting to see the results whenever the one Iris uses comes out of her tube, though, what with the ribbons in her uniform and all.

 

“Didn't Sakura try it with hers?” Iris asked innocently.

 

“No. I don't think I even have a dummy to test mine with.”

 

Sumire laughed her trademark laugh. “I don't think that would be necessary, Sakura-san. You're enough,” she said into the microphone at the control room. “After all, one for each tube is sufficient.”

 

Sakura's eyes flashed dangerously. “Are you saying that I'm a dummy?” she demanded, looking around and trying to find the source of Sumire's voice.

 

Maria cleared her throat to get all of their attention. “Let's begin,” she repeated, snatching the microphone from Sumire. “Iris, could you drop your dummy into the chasm first? And kindly make sure that it's not facing the right direction.”

 

“Oka~ay!” Iris chimed, dragging and dropping her dummy into her tube with its buttocks coming in first while Sakura looked on incredulously.

 

Maria and Sumire watched the monitors as the dummy made its way down Iris' tube. Neither was willing to admit that they were very curious to see exactly how the tube worked - after all, seeing it from afar was different from experiencing it. They were so eager to see the how it operated that both failed to notice the other one lean forward in anticipation.

 

Thus accounting for their initial disappointment when, after a sudden gush of smoke appeared and dissipated, the dummy emerged in the same position as it had entered, already completely undressed!

 

It wasn't long, however, before the shock descended upon them.

 

“W-what the heck is this?!” Sumire exclaimed as the dummy passed by a second smoke screen - this time emerging in Iris' uniform. “How in the world can that thing change your clothes in the blink of an eye?! Sakura-san!” she shrieked into the microphone.

 

“Eh? I've always felt something take off my clothes and put my uniform on, but I never saw them because of the smoke. Passing through them had always seemed longer than it really is, though. Isn't it the same for all of you, Sumire-san?”

 

“How should we know?! We never went in - oops...” Sumire covered her mouth upon realizing that she had just let Sakura know that they were as new to these particular dressing tubes as she had been three hours ago.

 

“Never went... You mean you never went in these tubes before?!”

 

Sumire winced. Maria covered her face with her hand in exasperation.

 

“Th-That's not true!” Sumire spluttered, trying to recover. “All of us have already gone down the dressing tubes! Just . . . not this particular one . . . hey, don't look as if you're the only victim here! All of us had suffered, too!!”

 

Sakura was so stunned at the discovery that she just stared off into the distance, looking as if all her energy had just been drained from her. Iris reached up and waved Jean Paul in front of her, but she didn't even seem to notice.

 

Maria didn't know what was worse - having to face Sakura after this mess or being unable to sleep that night worrying exactly what did the smoke screen cover. Perhaps she could go visit Kohran at the Hanayashiki Branch and have this clarified with her. That way, she also wouldn't be around when Sakura comes back to her senses and begin to storm at them with her katana in hand...

 

“Anyway, what happened to the dummy?” Iris eventually asked after giving up on her task.

 

“There was another smoke screen just before it exited, so we were not able to see,” Maria replied. “Tsubaki, Yuri, status report?”

 

“The dummy came out fine, Maria-san,” Yuri answered. She sounded a little bit too eager though, probably in anticipation for the next trial.

 

Maria frowned. Well, at least it does seem like the smoke was intentional, given that Iris' tube also produced it. Plus the last smoke screen seemed to have fixed the dummy's position before exit. So the smoke itself couldn't be the cause of Sakura's awful landing. Perhaps it was whatever that was inside the last smoke screen that needed attention in her tube?

 

“W-wait a minute,” Sakura suddenly spoke, breaking out of her earlier stupor and surprising the others. “You `couldn't see'...? Then, you can watch what happens inside the slide?!”

 

Yuri could be heard squealing, reveling at the thought of the scandal this would make, while another person - obviously Tsubaki - was audibly trying to clamp her hand on her companion's mouth. In the excitement, the two had forgotten to turn off their receiver.

 

Sakura looked as if she had gone through another catatonic shock, even though she had just recovered from her previous one. Once more, Iris waved Jean Paul in front of her. There was definitely no response - there wasn't even a twitch. “Iris thinks onee-chan is gone for good this time,” she commented.

 

“Sakura, we didn't come here to watch you,” Maria said (stuttered, actually, but of course Maria never stutters...) in an attempt to revive the younger girl. “Why else would I have had Iris drop the dummy? We'll be turning the cameras off when it's your turn.”

 

Sakura didn't seem to have heard her.

 

“Sakura, you have my word. After this transmission, I shall be turning off the cameras and will have Yuri lock the room again. Yuri, if you please.” After that, Maria reached out and turned off the equipment inside the room.

 

Sumire looked a little annoyed as they walked out. “You do realize that we'll never find out why she flips over before she goes out?”

 

“I never intended to keep the cameras open when it was her turn. Besides, even I did, there's too much smoke for us to see,” Maria said, closing the door behind her. Yuri came along not long after that, looking extremely disappointed at the turn of events.

 

As soon as the control room was locked, Maria, Sumire, and Yuri returned to the briefing room, where Tsubaki was standing by the portraits covering the dressing tubes' exit holes.

 

Something seemed wrong, though. Tsubaki looked panicked as she paced frantically in front of Sakura's still-empty portrait. “Tsubaki?” Yuri inquired.

 

“She fell!!” Tsubaki cried anxiously. “Sakura-san fell head first into the tube!”

 

“WHAT?!”

 

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At the second floor hidden room a few minutes earlier, Iris sat on the floor in front of Sakura. She had given up trying to catch the girl's attention and pouted at her failure - Sakura's inattentiveness meant that Iris was all alone in the room with no one to speak to. “Boring,” she complained.

 

But then something seemed to click inside Sakura's head. She blinked, then crouched low, hugging her knees so that she was staring at a wide-eyed Iris face-to-face. “Then it's true that they can see inside the tube, right? They can actually do that, right?!” she asked.

 

There was an excited tone in her voice that bothered Iris.

 

“Umm... yes, they can,” the little girl answered hesitantly.

 

Sakura paused for a short moment before exclaiming:

 

“Isn't that so cool?!”

 

Iris face-faulted.

 

“I've never seen anything like that before! How does it work? Is it like one of those cameras they use to take pictures?”

 

Iris wondered how Sakura would react once she was introduced to the koubus.

 

“S-Sakura understands, right?” Iris stammered, trying to make her see the bad side of having cameras inside the chutes. “That since people can see what's happening inside the tube, then bad people can also peek while there's someone inside?”

 

“Oh, I don't think there's anybody inside the theatre that would be that perverted, don't you think?”

 

If Sumire heard everything Sakura had been saying since waking up from a catatonic state, she would have had a field day, probably going as far as stating that people who heralded from the countryside are naïve idiots.

 

“Anyway, I want to see them!”

 

In her excitement, Sakura stood up and immediately began running towards her tube, failing to notice that her legs had cramped from her earlier position. Her fall was inevitable, but as she tried to regain her balance, she came close enough to the entrance of her chute that it automatically opened. Her knee hitting the edge of the hole was the final clincher, and the terrified girl finally plunged head first into the chasm.

 

It took Iris a few milliseconds to recover from the event before informing Tsubaki on the radio and transporting herself below.

 

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While Iris made her way down, Maria, Sumire, Yuri, and Tsubaki waited for Sakura to emerge at the briefing room. It wasn't the first time anyone fell into the dressing tube head first - Yuri could still remember how Kanna made her suffer when the Okinawan native got knocked down head first into the machine with Yuri being partly at fault. Still, though, with the problems Sakura had though she was falling at an upright position, would there be any difference if she plunged through it upside down?

 

Apparently it did.

 

Just after Iris arrived at the room and joined the rest of the crew, the portrait went up. Much to everyone's astonishment, the first they saw was Sakura's pink boots, followed by the swordswoman's legs, upper body, and finally her head. She ended her fall in a poised position, a knee and a hand on the ground for support, the other arm raised to the side to maintain balance.

 

There was a moment of prolonged silence before anyone finally spoke.

 

“I... I did it!” Sakura exclaimed, jumping up in elation, her earlier excitement about the video cameras all but forgotten during her horrifying descent.

 

“Wai~! Wai~!” Iris whooped, while Tsubaki, Yuri, and Sakura held hands and skipped in place, all smiles as they celebrated the latter's first successful landing.

 

Maria and Sumire, however, didn't quite know how to react. If Sakura fell upright, then she would exit head first, whereas if she fell head first, then she would emerge upright? That didn't make much sense at all!

 

In fact, Sumire was so unconvinced that she became quite annoyed with all the merry-making that was being made. “I don't see any reason why you should be celebrating at all,” she snapped, causing the four joyous individuals to cease their festivities and stand in attention. “You are quite aware that this may only happen once, right?!”

 

“Sumire does have a point,” Maria agreed, though she had said it in a calmer manner. “Sakura, is there anything different you had done during your fall this time around?”

 

Sakura tilted her head. “Actually, no, there wasn't,” she replied truthfully. “Apart from how I entered, it was like all my other attempts, except that this time after the last smoke, the exit was at my feet.”

 

Sumire moved as if she was tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Hmph. As I've told you before, Maria-san, she is definitely unaware which direction is up,” she said, making her earn another silent glare from Sakura.

 

“Can I ask you to go down the chute again? In the proper way, that is,” Maria requested.

 

Sakura nodded, feeling a lot more confident now that she had finally landed without bruising herself in the process. In fact, her spirits were so high that she had told Iris to stay put though the younger girl had offered to take her up again.

 

The group waited for Sakura to acknowledge that she was ready via the receiver on the second floor before Maria ordered her to jump down again.

 

And again they waited with bated breaths for her portrait to come up so that they could see if she would be able to clinch this landing as well.

 

When Sakura came out screaming head-first out from the opening, however, they found it odder that they were not surprised with the result than with anything else.

 

“Ow, ow, ow,” Sakura grimaced, pulling herself up from the ground for the umpteenth time.

 

“What happened?” Iris asked, kneeling down next to her. “Sakura got the landing before.”

 

“I'm not sure,” Sakura answered, looking very much upset at her failure. “Everything went exactly the same as before this time.”

 

Tsubaki scratched the back of her head. “It's weird, isn't it? It's like the dressing tube wants Sakura-san to dive into it head first.”

 

Everyone stared at Tsubaki, before slowly turning their gazes towards Sakura. Sakura looked at each and every one of their faces before sighing dejectedly. “Okay, okay, I'll go up one more time.”

 

During the lull in the briefing room while Sakura was preparing for yet another drop, Kasumi appeared. “There you are,” she said sternly, referring to Tsubaki and Yuri. “What are you two doing? Yoneda-shihainin had been looking for you - have you forgotten that the test run is today and that he would be needing us?”

 

Yuri and Tsubaki cringed at the thought of getting back to their work when there was something more interesting going on. “M-Maria-san had asked us to do some errands for her,” Yuri responded.

 

“Yes, and I'm sure you've already fulfilled them. So can you please run along and get your jobs done? Oh, Maria-san, we would be using the briefing room, so can we please ask you to leave?” Kasumi inquired.

 

“That's okay,” Maria replied. “Just let us do one more test, and then we'll stop for today.”

 

Kasumi nodded, before turning back to her companions. “All right, you two! Back to work!”

 

They groaned and grumbled, but there was little Yuri and Tsubaki could do but leave.

 

“Oh, by the way, Maria-san,” Kasumi said. “Kohran called. She said something important about th-“

 

She was interrupted by the sound of Sakura's voice verifying that she was ready to go.

 

“Is Sakura really that willing to jump head first into the dressing tube?” Iris asked concernedly.

 

Sumire chuckled. “Why not? She has proven herself to be quite gullible anyway.”

 

Kasumi's eyes widened. “Sakura-san is going to jump head-first into the tube? But-“

 

“Here she comes,” Maria suddenly said, breaking Kasumi off once more.

 

Moments later, as if to prove that Tsubaki had a point, Sakura emerged from the tube and landed on the ground as perfect as she had earlier. It was as if she had done it all her life and had never had issues with it at all.

 

Sakura smiled; happy to find that once again she was able to come out in an upright position. She glanced at her comrades, and was pleasantly surprised to find Kasumi there, though Yuri and Tsubaki were gone.

 

“Sakura-san, that was incredible! Did you really dive into the chute with your head first?” Kasumi asked.

 

Sumire looked displeased at the praise Sakura received. “Actually, falling down like that seems to be the only way for her to be able to land on her feet,” she commented disdainfully.

 

“But Sumire,” Iris interjected. “If Sakura's dressing tube works like ours, then wouldn't we also have to jump into the tube upside down?”

 

Sumire flinched, though she quickly tried to recompose herself. “Th-that's preposterous!” she proclaimed. “One such as myself has no need of descending the tube in such a manner, for I can unquestionably tell if I need to adjust before landing! Surely you and Maria-san are the same as I am, Iris! After all, we are definitely more graceful than that clumsy oaf!”

 

Sakura glowered at Sumire. “Gee, thanks for the compliment,” she said sarcastically.

 

“Actually,” Kasumi started again. “I just received word from Kohran about the dressing tubes.”

 

Maria raised her eyebrows at the news. “What did she say?”

 

“She mentioned that after studying the test results she took from the control room the other day, along with the schematics she had borrowed from Kanzaki Heavy Industries, there is some truth to the theory that the tubes are more receptive to the external covering of the dummies, thus accounting for their perfect landing record. That actually means-”

 

“That we're required to fall head first?!” Sumire asked incredulously, her grip on her fan tightening. “It's bad enough that the tubes exploded the last time we used them. Now we have to risk breaking our necks each and every time we descend as well?”

 

“But Sumire-san-“

 

“Enough!” Sumire swept her kimono aside and marched towards the exit. “I have no intentions of ever diving into that hole until it is absolutely fixed! Now if you would excuse me, I would like to talk to the engineers over at the main branch. I don't know about you, but I've grown tired of this play, and would definitely see to it that my words are kept and that things are set straight!”

 

Her “words” being her threats, that is.

 

“But Sumire-san, there's - !!”

 

Once more, however, Kasumi was unable to complete her sentence as the sliding doors leading to the briefing room had closed behind Sumire. “AAARGH! Can you people please listen to me while I'm talking?!” she cried in frustration, her patience having run out.

 

Sakura and Iris giggled at Kasumi's outburst, whereas Maria simply smiled. “Well, perhaps we can count on Sumire being able to truly make the dressing tubes work,” the Hanagumi commander said.

 

“That's what I've been trying to tell you!” Kasumi replied, smoothing an imaginary wrinkle on her kimono while trying to collect herself. “There's actually more to what Kohran had said.”

 

The three remaining Hanagumi members inside the room listened attentively as Kasumi was finally able to deliver her message in full...

 

----------

 

Sumire frowned as she returned the phone receiver to its cradle. She had been trying to contact the Kanzaki Heavy Industries main factory office for quite a while now, hoping at the very least to get in touch with her grandfather so that she could voice out her complaints, but she wasn't having much luck as the line was constantly busy despite numerous attempts.

 

Deciding to try again some other time, she left the manager's office - which was empty with Yoneda nowhere to be found - and made her way back to her room. She had barely managed to make herself comfortable when an alarm suddenly rang throughout the theatre.

 

Now, they haven't heard it before, but Yoneda had briefed them previously about how a particular alarm would sound if an enemy was discovered. And Sumire knew that what she was hearing at that moment was no warning bell for the stage - it truly sounded like an emergency siren. Which meant that they have to proceed to the briefing room (again) in their uniforms and meet with the Lieutenant-General as soon as possible...

 

The self-proclaimed Top Star of the Hanagumi grimaced.

 

When Sumire hesitantly exited from her room, one of the other doors at the dormitories opened, with Sakura coming out as well. Since the older girl's room was closer to the hallway outside the dormitory wing, she failed to notice that Sumire was standing behind her, and made her sprint towards the hidden room (wherever it was).

 

Not wanting to be left behind by her “rival”, Sumire followed suit.

 

----------

Iris and Maria were going up the stairs towards the second floor when they heard the alarm. They had barely managed to reach the top when Sakura ran past them, followed quickly by Sumire.

 

“Ah, Sumire!” Maria called out, but it was either she had not heard her or she refused to listen. The markswoman quickly ran after them as well, with Iris being left a little ways behind - after all, her little legs couldn't keep up with the taller women, and in their rush she had temporarily forgotten to use her teleportation powers.

 

Once they reached the hidden room, Sakura swiftly made her way to her tube and dived in without hesitation. Sumire paused outside hers, but she was determined not to be outdone by a “country girl”, so after a moment's delay she went in head first as well.

 

She was so focused on catching up with Sakura that she hardly heard Maria's voice as she made her descent below.

 

----------

 

The Teigeki Sannin Musume giggled madly.

 

They had gathered at the secretarial office near the end of the day to discuss the events that took place that afternoon. Which was mostly about Yoneda's test run for the emergency bell and the chaos that ensued afterwards.

 

“Did you see her nose?” Yuri tittered, her arms crossed over her stomach, her sides in pain from laughing so much. “It's going to be awfully red for weeks!”

 

“I really do feel sorry for Sumire-san,” Kasumi grinned. “But seeing her fall on her face when everybody else landed on their feet… That was really priceless, wasn't it?”

 

Yuri laughed again, having to lean on the counter as she could no longer hold herself up. “I'm surprised the manager forgot to tell them that today's bell was only supposed to be for testing purposes, though,” she finally said after she had managed to calm down. “We've been with them for almost the entire afternoon, and we could have told them not to pay any attention to it.”

 

“The manager did get quite an earful from Sumire-san, didn't he?” Tsubaki asked.

 

Kasumi shrugged. “Well, it's her fault for not listening to me anyway. Kohran-san had said that even if the dressing tube's sensors are not working properly, everyone should end up okay as long as they enter in the proper, upright position.”

 

“Proper, upright position, huh…” Tsubaki repeated thoughtfully. “Still, if that's the case, I wonder why Sakura-san has to fall the other way around?”

 

The three girls looked at each other.

 

Nobody ever will actually find out the mysteries behind Sakura's dressing tube.

 

--Tsuzuki--