Shaman King Fan Fiction ❯ A Gift of Love ❯ Beautiful Goodbye/She's All I Ever Had ( Chapter 40 )

This is the chapter you've been waiting for. Or at least, I think you have. The results of the battle between Pin-Mei and herself; the one who loved Ren and the one who wants him dead.

 

Yes, this chapter has two titles. I couldn't choose. Each are inspired by songs that helped me write this chapter, as well as Passion (After the Battle Mix). “Beautiful Goodbye” by Amanda Marshall and “She's All I Ever Had” by Ricky Martin (yeah, I don't like him either, but the song is beautiful).

 

I will be keeping the rest of the story events under zipped lips. No leaks about possible plot twists. Let me say this, there is going to be a LOT of action, tears, and a lot of things you won't expect. This is the beginning of the end, and we're just getting started.

 

I was a little iffy about twisting the history of Ren's parents for the sake of the story, but owell. It's one small detail. Shouldn't ruin it for you. If it does…then…just wow.

 

Thank you for over 200 reviews!! PAR-TAY! MILK FOR EVERYONE!!

 

-Ahem- sorry… this is supposed to be serious. Milk for no one.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

A Gift of Love - Chapter Forty: Beautiful Goodbye/She's All I Ever Had

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

The others came in behind her and saw the scream-worthy scene. After more screams, they started rushing to the couple. Rong put her arm up to block them.

 

“No…Let them be alone.” Her voice began shaking. “If she dies, I want Ren to be the last one she sees. Him and him alone.” As the group stopped, she lowered her arm and watched the horrific scene unfolding before them.

 

“PIN-MEI!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

Ren was frozen as he watched Pin-Mei thrust the sword into the center of her chest, through the curse seal. She stood there for a moment, seemingly stunned by her own action. Then blood began pouring out of her mouth and onto the floor. She looked at him with tired eyes and grinned, then ripped the sword out and tossed it behind her. He got up and ran to catch her as she began to fall to the ground.

 

Gently, he held her close to him as he slowly knelt on the cold floor. He cradled her as she looked up at him with half-open eyes. Tears formed at their corners and fell down her face.

 

“Ren…I'm sorry, Ren…”

 

It was like he had forgotten the last ten minutes. “What do you mean? What for?”

 

The tears continued to flow. “I hurt you…I told you I hated you…I lied to you…I made you cry…I told myself that I never wanted to do that again…I'm so sorry Ren…Please forgive me…”

 

“…It's ok,” he said, quietly. He took off his shirt and folded it, then pressed it against the wound in her chest. She let out a weak laugh.

 

“Watch what you touch there,”

 

Although she was trying to be funny, it only brought back memories of the rape. “Pin-Mei…about that night, I--,”

 

“It's okay…I know you didn't want to…It's not your fault…Don't worry about it…”

 

She closed her eyes, sighed, and then opened them again.

 

“But you know…if you hadn't been cursed and you had wanted that, I don't really think…I would have minded…”

 

His eyes widened. “What…what are you saying?” He shook his head. “No…you're delirious, you don't know what you're saying.”

 

Then she looked at him with eyes he didn't remember seeing before. They were listless, full of longing. He swallowed as she refused to take those eyes off him. Finally, they lowered and stared into space.

 

“If you say so…” Her face went pink. “No…I meant it.” She looked up at him with those eyes again. “I meant it. I really did… I wish I had that chance again. Because I love you so much, Ren…”

 

He stared down at her. “Pin-Mei…”

 

Silence. He pulled her even tighter to him, pressing his shirt harder against her bleeding chest.

 

I can't let her die…No I WON'T let her die!

 

“Ren…do you have the ring with you?” she asked suddenly.

 

He nodded and quickly took the ring from his shirt, then held it so she could see it. “It's right here.”

 

She lifted her left hand. “Can I have it back?”

 

A tiny smile appeared on his face. “Of course.” He took her hand and gently slipped the ring back into its rightful place. After they both admired it, he kissed her hand and held it.

 

She coughed. More blood came out. Gasping, she leaned her head against his chest, and then reached up to touch the skin.

 

“I love you…” she whispered.

 

He clutched her tighter. “I love you too…more than you'll ever know…”

 

Another small laugh. “Look at what I've done to you…you're spewing out all this mushy stuff now. You would never have said something like that before…”

 

He kissed her forehead. “That's just how powerful you are.”

 

She smiled. “Like I said…you're a hopeless romantic now…sorry…”

 

She began coughing again, this time with a wheeze. Ren looked down at her. This wasn't happening…

 

A few tears fell on her face. She looked up to see more falling from his eyes, which had softened in a way she had never seen. Then she put on the best smile she could.

 

“Please don't cry, Ren…I wanted this…I did this…for you…I wanted you…to be safe…”

 

“You're such an idiot! I told you that being selfless never solves anything!”

 

She chuckled. “Looks like this time it did…If I didn't…then I would have killed you…and I want you to live…I want you to be happy…I want you…to find someone else who can make you smile…I want you to be happy…if you are…then I can rest in peace…but I'll always watch over you…”

 

His eyes widened. “Don't talk like that…There isn't anyone else…” He was panicking. He had to do something, anything to keep her talking, to keep her alive. “Don't you remember when we were little? When you wanted to sleep in my bed because your father wouldn't let you in? And I let you? And I even put my arm around you? It's because I understood your pain, and you understood mine…No one else can do that, Pin-Mei, only you can! It would be impossible to find anyone who could make me feel the way you do. So don't talk about someone else…because…because I…I NEED YOU!! I'd feel empty for the rest of my life if you weren't there…so you're not leaving…I won't let you!”

 

She was still looking up at him, tears rolling down, her eyes dulling. Another small smile surfaced.

 

“I'd ask you to kiss me…but I don't think you want to taste all the blood…”

 

Without hesitation, he leaned over to softly place his lips on hers. Her eyes widened for a moment, then went back to their half-closed state, a happy light in them.

 

The kiss was just like all their others, as if nothing was wrong, as if they were about to go to sleep in Ren's bed, and they were having a last-minute cuddling session. Ren didn't hold back. His heart wouldn't allow him to. She needed to know. She needed to know what she meant to him, and kissing her was the only way he could show her right then.

 

As they came to the ending kiss, she held his face steady with the little strength she could muster. He felt like there was a warm energy flowing from her mouth to his. Whether it was real or he was imagining it, he didn't know. She smiled as she pulled away from him.

 

“I…gave it back to you…”

 

“Gave what back?”

 

“…The furyoku…I stole…from you…and mine also…I won't…be needing it…”

 

“Stop talking like that…”

 

She touched his cheek again, caressing it with her thumb. He closed his eyes and placed his hand over it, as if to savor the feeling. They shot open as he heard her cough again.

 

She had turned away from him, allowing the blood that left her body to fall to the floor instead of on him. He touched her chin to bring her face back into his view. She was taking heavy breaths, almost gasping. Again, she tried to smile.

 

“I love you…” she whispered. “You…were the first person…to tell me…they loved me…You…were the first person who…made me feel…important…n…needed…loved…happy…lik e…I can…do anything…Even after…seeing…your past self I…believe…with all my heart…that you're…the kindest person…I've ever met…”

 

“Pin-Mei…Stop it…don't talk anymore…we have to get you home…”

 

Her eyes smiled. “Why…do people think…that if a dying person…doesn't talk that they'll…live…?”

 

“YOU'RE NOT DYING!!” he screamed at her.

 

“I'm sorry…Ren…I'm…so…sorry…”

 

Her hand had slipped from his cheek, and she mustered all of her strength to put it back and stroke him again. She closed her eyes, then opened them slightly.

 

“Please…one more…kiss…?

 

“Pin-Mei…I know I didn't say this enough…but I love you! I love you…I always will…no matter what happens…I promise I'll always love you!” The tears were pouring down his face. “I can't do this…don't do this to me Pin-Mei…you can't…you just can't…you…” He stopped as her finger reached up to brush away some of his tears.

 

“I…wanted so badly…to help you…revive…your family…to…have sons who…could carry on…the Tao name…I wanted…so badly…to be able…to be called…Tao Pin-Mei…It was…my dream…”

 

“It'll happen! I swear it will! I'll call you that right now if you'll just stay!” He stroked her hair and her cheek. “Tao Pin-Mei…that's your name now, alright? You're my wife now…and as your husband…I ORDER YOU TO STAY!!”

 

I'm so sorry Ren…

 

She smiled. “Alright…darling…” He didn't correct her. “Don't we…have…to kiss?”

 

“Of course…”

 

He leaned over again. “I love you Pin-Mei…with every ounce of my being…You're everything to me…Even though when you first came, I didn't want you…I don't want to be without you…You mean so much to me…”

 

“I…I know…I love you…too…always…and…forever…”

 

He kissed her again. He savored it. In his mind, it would always be like this. Kissing her whenever he wanted to, helping him feel complete. It gave him the warm happy feeling that used to be a void only a few months before.

 

When he pulled away from her, her head didn't support itself. It tilted to the side, towards the ground. Her lips couldn't even mold to fit his. The hand that had been on his cheek slipped under his that was holding it, not able to grasp him anymore. He slowly opened his eyes, then they became wide in horror.

 

Her eyes were closed, a serene smile on her face.

 

“I am honored, Ren-Sama.”

 

“Pin-Mei?”

 

“Thank you for the clips - they're beautiful! I'll wear them always!”

 

“Pin-Mei…?” He shook her; there was no response.

 

“Can I sleep with you tonight?”

 

“PIN-MEI?”

 

“Will you marry me?” “Yes.”

 

“PIN-MEI!!” he screamed at her.

 

His breathing staggered as he surveyed her body. No movement whatsoever. He put his ear to her chest. Nothing. He checked her pulse. No rhythm. He stared at her, shaking his head.

 

“No…no…no…” he whispered. “I told you that you couldn't leave…you're supposed to listen to me…You were supposed to listen!”

 

“I love butterflies because they make me think of you!”

 

He looked at her again.

 

“Niisama is very important to me!”

 

“This isn't happening…This isn't fucking happening…”

 

“I couldn't sleep without you there…”

 

“She can't die…she can't…she…she's too young…”

 

“REN! It's been ten minutes and I haven't dropped the Kwan Dao! I rock!”

 

“No way…she's faking it…right…? Pin-Mei…”

 

“I love you.”

 

“Pin-Mei!”

 

“I love you Ren, I love you so much…”

 

He clutched her body tightly, placing his head on top of hers, the tears pouring out of him like a flood of anguish.

 

“PIN-MEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” ;

 

He kept screaming as everyone watched. But he didn't care. He didn't even notice. His wife had just died in front of him. She was gone. There was no way to bring her back. He would never hear her voice, her laugh, he would never see her smile ever again. There was not a single breath left in her.

 

He covered her lips again, trying to get some air into her, get her breathing again, trying to give her a chance at life. It wouldn't work. Still, he refused to let go of her body; to let go of the hope that she would somehow start breathing again. He held her limp hand, hoping that she would squeeze back. She didn't.

 

His body was shaking. This was so much like his dream. She hated him, then came to her senses, now she was dead. He tried to wake himself up, only to come to the horrific realization that this was real. She was really gone. She had just kissed him a few minutes ago. Now she was gone.

 

“I love you…”

 

More of his tears fell on her face. The sadness was building, like a horrible pressure that would make him explode.

 

“No…no…”

 

He threw his head back and then let out one last horrible and almost inhuman cry.

 

As it faded and he looked down at her motionless body again, he gritted his teeth as he heard Suo's evil laugh from across the room.

 

“Not what I had in mind, but it's one way to get things done. We were going to kill her anyways; we need that furyoku after all. But she was foolish enough to do it on her own. Ah well, just makes it easier for us.”

 

Ren laid Pin-Mei's body on the ground and folded her hands over his shirt. He lightly touched her cheek, then brushed her bangs back and kissed her forehead. To him, she looked like an angel praying. Praying for a world where no one was shunned, and no one felt deliberate pain from others. A world where everyone had someone they loved, and who loved them back. He looked down at her, his hand still on her cheek.

 

“But there's no need to be sad. Xu Pin-Mei was just a copy of Fan Hua anyhow. She didn't have her own personality, only my dear daughter's. You could say that you were in love with Hua and not some girl named Pin-Mei. That's the only reason why we let her live all these years - so her soul could be used to bring Hua back.

 

“From birth we bred her to be just like her mother; wearing only navy blue, wearing her hair in pigtails and eventually braids. She was given the facial crème that Hua used daily in order to keep her skin soft, as well as contacts to make her eyes blue, which I understand she never wore around you, as per Zhang's command. We made her learn the DaDao, her mother's weapon of choice. We did our best to make her believe she was lactose intolerant, but thanks to you, that failed. However, you made up for it. Hua was afraid of water, having almost drowned at a young age. We didn't know how to make Pin-Mei have that same fear without killing her, but luckily, your inattention to her allowed her to fall into a pond, almost drowning, and thus making her afraid of water.

 

“Her engagement to you was an unfortunate obstacle. I had planned on telling your parents that the engagement was null and void, but then Zhang somehow decided to go ahead with it behind my back. Despite wasting away in his room with concubines for almost 14 years, he took her to your house ten years ago. He claimed that Hua had come to him in a dream and told him to take her. Then, he kept finding excuses not to bring her over again. Maybe he didn't want to let go of someone who reminded him of my beautiful daughter…

 

“But again, Hua allegedly intervened and told him to do as she had wanted him to. That was a year ago. At the New Year celebration of that year, Zhang came out of his room and gave Pin-Mei two new sets of clothes, one red and one purple; a red envelope as always, and a framed picture of when the two of you were last together. As if following the festival's theme of “rebirth”, Zhang completely changed. He dismissed every concubine in the castle and decided to spend more time with his daughter. He had looked so old before, but he regained his youth, despite being in his thirties. On her fourteenth birthday, he told her of the engagement between the two of you.

 

“So many people worked so hard so that the two of you could be together. However, we could not let that happen. You see, we were going to kill Pin-Mei anyway, so having a fiancée would cause trouble. So when you two went to Tokyo, we hired the Fork-Ids syndicate to capture her and bring her back here to us. When you slaughtered them, we tried to same technique in London, but again, it failed. We were getting worried that she would be at your house forever, as Zhang had not told anyone when, if ever, they were returning.

 

“But then we overheard the maid servants discussing something. I cornered the weakest and most pathetic of the three and threatened her until she revealed the party plans. That's when our chance came. The plan was simple: Put you under a curse and have you rape Pin-Mei. This would cause a scandal, and the engagement would HAVE to be broken. After all, who would approve of a marriage in which the husband had a history of raping his future wife? It worked, needless to say, although, sadly, you didn't actually go through with it, so Pin-Mei wasn't as broken as we had hoped she would be. In fact, she was stronger.

 

“After she tried to run back to your house, we captured her and manipulated her memory, making her think you had actually raped her. The results were stunning. The screaming, the crying, the flinching…it was beautiful. Not only that, but we sent her to go meet your former self.”

 

Ren's eyes widened.

 

“She was horrified. In the end, you killed her, and the illusion was so strong that she coughed up blood in her sleep. She was so easy to mold then that it was comical. All we had to do then was wait for you. And here we are.”

 

“Oh, that's right. You don't know how Hua knows your family. About thirty-one years ago, my first daughter, Yan, was murdered by the people of the nearby town. She was supposed to marry your father. Of course, after she was killed, the engagement plans were useless. Your grandparents refused to wait for me to bear another child, and thus he married your mother instead.”

 

She laughed. “You understand now, Tao Ren? You've lost. You've failed. Pin-Mei is dead. Her soul will be used to revive Hua, and then she will kill you and we will live happily ever after. What an embarrassing loss for the Tao family. You couldn't even protect someone you claimed to “love”. How very shameful.”

 

Everyone was surprised when Ren chuckled.

 

“What the hell would you know about shame?”

 

She glared at him. “What?”

 

“You manipulated those around you to accomplish your own selfish goals. You killed your son-in-law. You killed three servants. Worst of all, you watched your own granddaughter DIE. You don't care about your daughter's wellbeing. All you want are her powers. If you loved Hua at all, you would have loved Pin-Mei and treated her as if she was your daughter, not abuse her and make her life hell.”

 

Kai's eyes narrowed. “Watch it, boy. You're in our territory, and without a guide. You have no chance of winning.”

 

Ren stood up, his feet firmly planted. He brought his right hand to his face to wipe away the last of the tears he had cried over the girl who now slept eternally on the ground. After wiping them, he whipped his arm out to the side, Houraiken in his hand.

 

“Wrong.”

 

They all stared at him. He turned around, his eyes wild with rage.

 

HoroHoro froze. “Those eyes…”

 

Yoh looked at him. “What?”

 

“I haven't seen those eyes since…”

 

“Unforgivable…THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY I'M GOING TO FORGIVE YOU!!”

 

“…since we fought Hao…He had those same demonic eyes.”

 

Ren grinned menacingly at Suo and Kai.

 

“I haven't felt this sort of powerful rage in a loooong time. It's different from when I killed that syndicate scum. I can control this power. Pin-Mei helped me keep my rage in check because it was a little hard to be mad at an innocent brat like her. But because you were so determined to take her away from me, and piss me off like this…”

 

His eyes flashed as every hint of kindness left them.

 

“I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!!”