Shaman King Fan Fiction ❯ A Gift of Love ❯ I'll Never Fall in Love Again ( Chapter 55 )

Ignore grammar mistakes. They will be fixed when I get home from school.

 

I'd been a little afraid to ask this before, but I'm doing it now. I have a proposition: No I don't want to marry any of you, sorry. But I was thinking (note the thinking) about writing a short story (20 chapters max) involving Tao Yi and Qiao Da-Xia; their meeting to their getting married to the end of Yi's revenge. Kind of a “Kakashi Gaiden” type thing. If you think it's too much, then just say so and I'll drop the idea. If you want it, same deal. Just thought I'd run it by you guys since you're awesome enough to read up to this point.

 

Notes: This is a very HoRong heavy chapter.

 

Some Ainu don't like to use the term “Ainu” to refer to themselves. Instead, they use “Utari”, the Ainu word for “comrade”.

 

“Aokun” means “blue boy”

 

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A Gift of Love - Chapter Fifty-Five: “I'll Never Fall in Love Again”

 

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After everyone helped pack Pin-Mei's belongings, they all traveled back to Tao Castle. When they got back, the Japan crew would spend one last night there, and then they would return to their own country.

 

“Hey, Ren…” Pin-Mei whispered, her head on his shoulder.

 

“What?”

 

“I think I've decided what I want to do with the house.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“I'm going to keep it.”

 

He gave her a confused look. “But who's going to live in it?”

 

“No one just yet. But our family will eventually.”

 

“What?”

 

She started playing with her fingers, a small blush on her face. “The children we have will grow up and have their own children, who will grow up and have children, who will grow up and have children…soon Tao Castle will become too small. Xu-Tao Castle will serve as their home when more space is needed.” She smiled. “For that purpose, the servants will remain and Rong's family will live there for now.”

 

Ren just blinked at her. She sure was thinking ahead.

 

“And…um…As the heir of her family, Rong says that the Wei family will serve the Tao family since the Fan family is gone.”

 

He just stared at her again. “You come with quite a few extras don't you?”

 

She giggled and put her hand behind her head. “I guess so.”

 

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Rong and HoroHoro were sitting together in their own carriage at this time. She stared out the window at the town she was leaving. She didn't know if she would go back or not. For now, she wanted to stay with the boy next to her.

 

“Hey…Aokun…”

 

He was looking out his own window. “What?”

 

“Can we talk about something? Promise you won't freak?”

 

He shrugged. “I guess…”

 

“What do you think about Ren and Pin-Mei having sex?”

 

Silence.

 

“What?”

 

“I mean…What do you think it's done to them? Like, how it's affected them?”

 

“I haven't been paying attention.”

 

She sighed. “He's been more protective of her. Like, more sensitive about what people say to and about her. I heard about what happened at her school. He didn't act as protective when we got back to his house. Not even when Pin-Mei was sleeping and he was guarding that room like a fort full of gold. But now he's defending her at every hint of danger. I can't think of a moment since then when he wasn't at her side or only a few steps behind her. It's almost as if he loves her even more now.”

 

He mimicked her. “Any guy would act nice to a girl he just had sex with. Nothing new.”

 

“It's been about a week.”

 

“Well then, I'm just an idiot.”

 

“We agree on something.”

 

He finally turned away from the window. “What was that?!” But he stared down at her as she scooted over to him and held his hand, then put her head on his shoulder. He blushed and looked away. “Why were you talking about that anyway?”

 

“No reason…Just thinking about it.”

 

She took his arm and threw it behind her before leaning over and putting her head against his chest. He looked down at her for just a moment before quickly looking away again.

 

I wanted a girlfriend for so long…and now…I have to push her away.

 

He looked down once more. Rong, whose feminine side had been awakened because of him, smiled with pink cheeks and closed eyes.

 

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That night, her smile was gone as they stared at each other across HoroHoro's room. They could no longer run away from the reality of the next day.

 

“You're going back home to Japan,” she whispered, her eyes beginning to burn.

 

He nodded. “And you're staying here.”

 

She nodded, but then shook her head. “No, I'm going with you.”

 

He looked away from her. “You know you can't do that. You have to run your family.”

 

“No! My sister Li can do that! She's only two years younger than me, she can do it fine!” Rong screamed.

 

“Rong, calm down,” he said making a downward motion with his hands. Then he shook his head. “You can't. It would be hard for you to adapt to the Utari way of life, there's no guarantee that you would at all.”

 

“No, Please!” she cried. She ran over and thrust her arms around him, clutching his back. “Please take me with you! I can do it, I swear! If you just give me the chance--!”

 

“I SAID NO!” he yelled. “You're not coming to Japan with me! Look, it was fun while it lasted, but we both knew it would come to an end. I'm going, you're staying. That's all there is to it. Nothing you say is going to change my mind.”

 

She pulled away from him, her eyes filled with tears. His hair was hiding his eyes from her. She clenched her fist and gritted her teeth in anger. But still, she softened as she looked at him.

 

“I love you,” she whispered.

 

He seemed to flinch.

 

“There I said it. I've never said that to anyone, you know. Not even my parents. You're the first person to hear those words. The only person to hear those words…”

 

He said nothing, only continued to stare at the floor. She took a deep breath, her voice choking up again.

 

“But that doesn't mean anything to you, does it?” Silence. “DOES IT?” More silence. “ANSWER ME DAMMIT!!” She closed her tear-blurred eyes as her arm swung back and slapped him across the face. Almost as it she had taken the force of the blow herself, she fell to the floor, her body continuing to twitch with every choked breath that came out of her as the tears fell from her eyes. “I've never cried so much in my whole life…But you don't care about that either, do you?” When he continued his vow of silence, she just allowed her head to fall on the rug as she curled up into a ball like she had watched her mistress do so many times.

 

She felt him fall on his knees next to her. His hand came up to stroke her hair.

 

“Don't touch me…” she sobbed. “If you don't love me, then don't touch me.”

 

But the hand continued to run through her burgundy locks. She shook her head violently in an effort to throw it off, but when she had stilled, it resumed its caresses.

 

“Stop it…You don't love me, so just stop it…”

 

“I never said that.”

 

“You don't want me with you…”

 

“I never said that.”

 

“By not taking me with you, you're saying it.”

 

“I'm doing what I have to, not what I want to.”

 

“Shut up…Just shut up…I don't believe you…”

 

“If that's what you want.”

 

“I want you to take me with you.”

 

“I can't…I'm sorry…”

 

She started crying again, louder this time.

 

“Please don't cry, Rong…You'll learn to forget about me…Then you won't be in pain anymore.”

 

“But I…I don't want to…I'd rather be in pain than wake up one morning wondering whose headband I have.”

 

“I'll take it with me then.”

 

“No…I want it…”

 

They were silent again. All that could be heard were the soft hiccups of Rong's tears. Suddenly, she stood up and turned away from him. He soon followed.

 

“Horokeu…”

 

“What?”

 

“I want to make the most of tonight.”

 

“What?”

 

“Even if it's just tonight…I want to make the most of it.”

 

“Rong, you can't possibly--,”

 

He was cut off as she kissed him and then threw him onto the bed. She loomed over him, the last of her tears falling from her eyes. With wide eyes he frantically crab-walked up the bed in an attempt to get away from her. But she was soon kneeling between his legs with her arms around his neck, her lips on his.

 

“Rong, don't…”

 

She just covered his mouth with hers again. As she pulled away, she straddled his legs and looked down at him.

 

“I know this makes me look `easy' and maybe I am, but please, just give me tonight…” she pleaded with him. “If I'm never going to see you again…If you're going to go home and fall in love with someone who truly deserves it, then please just give me this one night. Because I know that I'll never fall in love again.”

 

He looked up at her with sympathetic eyes.

 

“I'll be gone when you wake up,” he whispered.

 

“I know…” she whispered back. “That's why I need this now.”

 

He closed his eyes, fighting the last of his conflicting emotions. To do this and leave…he knew it was wrong, but he couldn't stand to see her cry anymore.

 

“Tonight…That's all,” he whispered.

 

She nodded. “Thank you…”

 

As a pile of clothes accumulated on the floor, they switched places; Rong now on the mattress, and HoroHoro leaning over her.

 

“Horokeu?”

 

“What?”

 

“I know this may be too much to ask, but can you lie to me?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Will you tell me you love me?”

 

He stared deep into her eyes. They were filled with pain, like someone who had been forced to throw away their childhood to take care of someone whom she had claimed to love. He knew it was only because she had never experienced what love was; that she thought what she had done all her life for a small girl named Xu Pin-Mei had been “love”. He shook his head.

 

“I can't lie, Rong. Not about something like that.”

 

Her eyes lowered. “Oh…I understand.”

 

She was surprised when he kissed her.

 

“I love you,” he said, smiling down at her.

 

For a moment, she was confused. He had just told her he couldn't lie about love, so why…?

 

As he watched it dawn on her face, he cupped her cheek.

 

“I love you,” he said again.

 

She touched his hand as the tears came again. “I love you,” she whispered hoarsely.

 

Just as he wiped the tears away, she pulled him down against her in a tight embrace, which he reciprocated when he was able. Then he let her go and looked down at her with a mischievous grin.

 

“Let's do this.”

 

For the first time in almost two weeks, she gave him her famous cocky grin.

 

“Talk big after you've shown me what you can do, HoHo. Impress me.”

 

The grin got wider. “Oh, you'll be impressed alright.”

 

Famous last words.

 

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HoroHoro glanced at the clock. Five in the morning.

He glanced down at Rong, who was sleeping soundly, a very happy and content smile on her face. A few pieces of hair were in her face and he brushed them back and tried to smile. As his hand settled near her face, she moaned and grasped it. Sadly, he leaned down and kissed her, then began gathering his things.

As Yoh called from the other side of the door, he shushed him and put the piece of wood he had been whittling on his pillow. He shook his head quickly as a tear threatened to fall. Guilt overcame him as he looked down at the woman who had spent the night satisfying his every desire. He was leaving without a goodbye.

"HOROHORO! COME ON OR WE'LL MISS THE PLANE!!"

He ran to the door and opened it. "I'm coming. Don't yell or you'll wake Pin-Mei up, and Ren'll be pissed."

He looked back once more, fighting the urge to cuddle her one last time. Another weak smile.

"Wei Rong, you're the bitchiest headstrong macho chick I've ever met...But you're also kind, romantic, and giving...A real puzzle." He chuckled and shook his head. "All the same, you're the first and only girl I've ever loved...and who loved me back...Thanks for loving me.

Sayonara."

He stepped outside and slowly closed the door, looking until he could no longer see her face.

 

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The next morning, Rong woke up and looked to her left. He was gone, just as she knew he would be. She squinted at the pillow he had used and saw a small wooden stick. She quickly grabbed it and examined it.

 

There was a note attached. She unraveled it and quickly read its short phrase.

 

“I'll come back for you.”

 

She stared at it.

 

“But you said I couldn't go with you, that I couldn't live like you…Why are you promising me something that you've already said won't happen?” she whispered hoarsely as if he could hear her.

 

She looked down at the stick. It looked much like his Ikupasi, yet the carvings on it were clumsier, less refined. A message seemed to be written on the back in Ainu. She stared at it for a few minutes, then frowned.

 

“You asshole, you know I can't read this.”

There was a knock at the door. Rong panicked and searched for a shirt. She stopped for a moment as she saw one of his on the floor along with his shorts, but threw them on just so she could answer the door.

 

“Yes?” she called as she zipped up the black bottoms.

 

“Rong? You're in here?”

 

It was Pin-Mei. Her breathing stopped for moment, then she tried to regain the brash part of her that had been lost.

 

“You must have known someone was in here since you knocked.”

 

“Hehe, yeah, I guess.” Then her smile faded. She held Rong's hand. “Are you okay?”

 

Rong blinked. “About what?”

 

Pin-Mei looked away slightly. “Well, HoroHoro went back home, and…um…”

 

The guard threw her hand away. “Me? I'm over it already. He's probably the one on the plane crying. He'll come crawling back, and I'll just stomp on him. I don't have time for infantile behavior such as that. I'm…I'm glad he's gone!”

 

Her mistress looked up at her sympathetically. “If you say so…” She walked away down the hall, Ren meeting her around the corner.

 

When she was gone, Rong went back into the room and fell on the bed. She hugged the pillow with her face in it, trying to take in the last of his scent that it contained. It soon became wet.

 

“If you lied to me…I'll hate you forever…”

 

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Three months later…

 

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“I'm kinda worried about Rong,” Pin-Mei said suddenly as she and Ren were walking down the hall.

 

“Why?” he asked turning to her.

 

“Well…She's been sick for a long time…And um…I think she's gotten a little chubby. She sometimes just falls asleep for no reason. She's not acting like herself.”

 

Ren turned the information over in his head. An idea popped into his head, but he dismissed it. No, that's not even possible. “Like you said, she's probably just sick. Maybe she's still depressed about HoroHoro going back to Japan and leaving her here. Who knows?” He sighed. “Just remember, she'll be twenty next year; she's perfectly capable of taking care of herself.”

 

They passed a door which lead to the bathroom. Pin-Mei stopped. Ren looked back at her.

 

“What is it?”

 

She looked afraid. “Didn't you hear that?”

 

“Hear what?”

 

“I thought I heard gagging…”

 

He gave her a weird look. “You're hearing things.”

 

But as he said that, he heard it too. He looked at the door with alarmed eyes. She moved out of the way as he grabbed the door knob and turned it. Locked. He grunted and pounded on the door.

 

“Rong! Are you in there?”

 

He put his ear to the door so he could hear her from the other side of the large bathroom.

 

“Yes, but I'm fine, Lord Ren,” she replied, her voice muffled before she gagged again.

 

“Open the door! I need to use the bathroom!” This was a lie.

 

“Can you please use the one in the next wing? I may be a while…” But this was true. Ren could have easily run down the hall for about thirty seconds and reached another bathroom.

 

“Don't disobey me! Open the goddamn door!”

 

More gagging.

 

“I'll be out soon, I promise.”

 

He hit the door again before backing up and aiming his shoulder at it. Pin-Mei was confused, but went over to him.

 

“Ren, what are you doing?”

 

“Breaking down the door.”

 

“WHAT?! Why?!”

 

“Look, I'll tell you when we get in. But Rong might need us right now.” She looked worried. “I won't hurt myself, and we can get someone to fix the door, alright?”

 

She took a few steps back. “Okay…Be careful…”

 

He nodded at her before taking a quick breath in and charging at the door. He used his shoulder to ram into it, the force busting it open, giving them entrance into the lavatory.

 

Ren stared at his fiancée's keeper, who was on her knees in front of the marble toilet, leaning over it, pale-faced. She looked up at him with a face that had only one possible sentence to go with it: “Oh Shit.”

 

“Rong, it's time you stop hiding this and tell me before I have to drag it out of you,” he said folding his arms.

 

Pin-Mei came in behind him. “Rong…What is he talking about?”

 

Rong looked at her with pained eyes, then they rolled back and she began falling sideways.

 

“Shit.” He ran and then slid across the floor to catch her before she hit it. After repositioning her, he picked her up and carried her to a guest room. A servant suspiciously brought a bucket to them as he laid her on the bed. He stood over her as she opened her eyes.

 

“Okay, last time, tell me what's going on.”

 

She looked away from him, seemingly ashamed. Pin-Mei kept looking at them, confused.

 

“What's going on?”

 

Ren looked at her, then back at Rong. “I'm telling her.”

 

She looked at both of them. “Telling me what?”

 

“Rong's pregnant.”

 

Pin-Mei's eyes widened as she silently covered her mouth. “How…?”

 

Ren ignored her and looked back at the woman on the bed. “How far along are you?”

 

She breathed. “Three months.”

 

Now Ren's eyes widened. He stared at his fiancée, then ran over to her and grabbed her shoulders. “You haven't been acting sick either, have you?”

 

Pin-Mei, with a scared look on her face, shook her head quickly. “No, no I haven't.”

 

“As she is right now, Lady Pin-Mei is infertile.”

 

Ren looked back at Rong. “What do you mean?”

 

“Lord Zhang was from a family of doctors, so he knew all about mixing herbs and making medicine.” Her voice was tired, her left arm crossing her face and over her eyes. “He feared that Suo would harm Lady Pin-Mei if she knew that she had the potential to become pregnant, so he came up with a pill for her to take that would prevent her from becoming fertile. In the month you two were separated, he taught her how to make it because he knew he was going to die soon. So Lady Pin-Mei has been making it herself once a month to silence the hormone that would otherwise cause her to become pregnant. I do not have such a medicine because I never planned on needing it, thus, the differing results.”

 

He looked at Pin-Mei, who was looking down at the ground in shame. “I'm sorry,” she whispered.

 

He shook his head. “Don't be sorry, it's alright…I wish you had told me, though.” He heaved a heavy sigh and held her close to him. “But it's a relief. I don't want that strain put on your body. We already know what could happen…”

 

She nodded slowly, and they turned back to the Wei heir.

 

“So when did this happen?” Ren asked, becoming serious once again.

 

Rong looked down. “The last night he was here. I asked him to make love to me because I thought I'd never see him again, and I wanted to…I wanted him…I don't know…”

 

“Remember you.”

 

She looked up. “What?”

 

Ren did also. Pin-Mei sat next to her on the bed and held her hand, tears in her eyes.

 

“You didn't want him to forget about you. You weren't thinking about this. You just wanted him to know, even if he was leaving, that you love him.” She looked down. “I've heard about it with people going into the military. Girlfriends who would normally refuse to give their virginity to their boyfriends give in when they find out they're going away, with the possibility that they won't return. I know that if it were me…” she looked back at Ren. “…I would feel the same way.” She turned to Rong. “It doesn't mean you're a whore or anything. You did it for love. You weren't trying to trap him in any way. You wanted him to remember how strongly you felt about him. I only hope that his feelings were just as strong.”

 

“Pin-Mei…”

 

“You have to go to him.”

 

Rong shook her head. “I can't…I can't face him knowing I've just stolen his life from him. I've just taken away the best years of his life…And he didn't get to experience any of it.” She stared at the sheets. “I'm going to get an abortion.”

 

“No! You can't!” Pin-Mei cried, her eyes filling up with tears again.

 

“Pin-Mei!” Ren yelled, silencing her. “You are not the mother of that baby, so you have no say in what happens to it.” He looked to Rong. “Just make sure you think about that before you do it. Think until your brain hurts, and even then, keep thinking. That baby is only the size of a cherry right now, but it has nearly everything we do, right down to fingernails. It can move its arms. Just remember that this is a living human being we're talking about here.”

 

Rong stared at him, then covered her face and began howling. Ren looked down at her apathetically. Pin-Mei gave him a hurt glance, which he responded to.

 

“Don't you think it's better that she knows now, than do it and then find out that it wasn't just a mass of cells without a heartbeat?”

 

She nodded sadly. Rong wiped her eyes and stood, only to get into a kowtow position in front of Ren.

 

“Lord Ren, I humbly ask for a leave of absence so that I may go and take care of some business in Japan. I do not know yet how long I will be gone, but I would let you know when that information became available to me,” she said in the most formal of voices.

 

Ren looked down at her. Her forehead was touching the floor, the deepest form of respect.

 

“Permission granted.”

 

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“Lord Ren, Wei Li has arrived.”

 

Ren, Pin-Mei, and Rong turned to see a tall girl walking towards them. Like Rong, her hair was boyishly short, but maroon. In fact, the color of her hair seemed to be the only thing that made it possible to distinguish the sisters from each other sans an inch or two in height difference.

 

She knelt on one knee in front of Ren, her right fist making contact with the floor while her left arm rested on her left knee.

 

“Lord Ren, I am honored--,”

 

“Li, kowtow,” Rong said stiffly. She watched her seventeen year-old sister blush and quickly flop down into the formal bow as she was told.

 

“Lord Ren, I am honored to be able to serve you and your family. I will perform my duties perfectly and expect punishment for anything I fail to do.”

 

Ren gave Rong a raised eyebrow. It seemed as though Li was raised to expect punishment at any point in time, and may very well be numb to the sensations of said punishments.

 

“Rise.” He gestured at Rong with his head and she stepped forward.

 

The sisters stared at each other. Li had followed Rong since she could walk, and would watch her perform her duties in awe and admiration. She wanted nothing more than to have her own person to guard and protect, to earn the respect of her elder sister.

 

“Your back,” Rong said in a commanding voice.

 

Without hesitation, Li turned to show her the tattoo that had been cut into her only days before. As with Rong's tattoo, “Wei Li” was around the circumference of a circle in the center of her back. “___ Pin-Mei” and “Tao Ren” were inked into her.

 

“Why isn't Pin-Mei's surname there?” Ren asked.

 

Rong turned to him. “I asked that it be left out until you both get married so we can write “Tao” there. It would be a waste to write “Xu” at this point.”

 

Pin-Mei looked down, blushing.

 

“Face me,” Rong commanded. Her sister obeyed. “Be prepared to go out for random milk trips when it `suddenly' runs out. Have fresh towels ready at a moment's notice. Ignore any voices you hear from their room at night. And lastly…” She turned to the couple. “Be ready to give your life for the two of them. Lord Ren and Lady Pin-Mei's safety comes before all else.” She leaned in to whisper in her sister's ear. “Don't fall in love with anyone in this house. Don't fall in love at all until you're 21.”

 

Her sister nodded. “I understand my duties and will perform them--,”

 

“And don't act like a mindless drone. Sometimes, you need to have a sense of humor with these two.”

 

“Gotcha.”

 

“Much better.”

 

Rong slowly turned to walk back up to the couple.

 

“Well, I guess I'll be going.” She looked at Pin-Mei. “It was an honor to care for you. I'll miss that smile of yours.” The girl started crying. Rong chuckled. “The tears as well.”

 

Pin-Mei leaped and hugged her, careful of Rong's special passenger. When she was released, Rong looked to the man who she had once looked at as a rival for her Lady's attention. They said nothing. He nodded at her, and she nodded back.

 

“Take care of her.”

 

“I will.” A beat of silence. “Good luck.”

 

Rong looked shocked for a moment, then accepted it with a smile. “Thank you.”

 

She walked to a carriage that was waiting for her. With only one small bag, she got in without looking back. The carriage soon left the gates of Tao Castle. As Ren and Pin-Mei watched it disappear, he remembered the tone of her last two words to him.

 

He knew it was for more than his wish for good luck.