Shaman King Fan Fiction ❯ Ivy, Shaman Runaway ❯ Can You Say…Harem? ( Chapter 15 )

 

Can You Say…Harem?

Yoh steered me over to a midget blonde haired boy, “This is Mortimer Oyamada, Otherwise known as Morty.”

 

“H-hello. It's nice to meet you.” Morty looked up at me, and I wondered if he could see up my skirt; it was short enough.

 

I decided to start my merciless flirting there. “Nice to meet you too, but would you like me to take the skirt off? It would be a whole lot easier for you to look up it that way.”

 

“Uhhhh, I wasn't…I mean….I didn't.” Morty turned crimson at my accusation.

 

I kneeled down to be at his eye level. I liked him. His height reminded me of Opacho, who I missed dearly. “I was kidding! I know you're too much of a gentleman for that. You're cute.” I kissed him on the cheek, making his red color deepen. “You've got to take me to the movies sometime. It'll be fun!”

 

His eyes widened at my offer. “You'd be seen out in public with me?!”

 

“Sure, why not? I could do a lot worse than you, Cutie.” I answered nonchalantly.

 

Yoh next introduced me to the blue haired boy from before. “This is Trey. He's an ice shaman from Hokkaido.”

 

“Hey, I'm Horo Horo, but everyone calls me Trey.” He offered his hand to me.

 

I took the hand and shook it all the while starring at his hair. “I love your hair color! Do you dye it? I'd like to try something wild like that with my hair.”

 

Trey looked confused for a minute, but then responded, “Oh, no, I don't dye it! It's been like that since I was born. A lot of Ainu's hair is blue like that. It's native to the area where I live.”

 

“I'm so jealous! I love blue, it's one of my favorite colors.” I ran my fingers through his hair and he started purring like a kitten, but he drooled like a dog.

 

Yoh managed to pull Trey off of me, and guided me over to Rio. “And this is—“

 

“Elvis!!” I interrupted.

 

“Not quite, my sweet. I'm Rio, King of the Road. Will you be my Shaman Queen?” `Scary dude.'

 

I ignored his comment and said, “You know, I'm related to Elvis. It's distantly through marriage, but it still counts, right? Let's see, my great grandfather's cousin married Elvis's uncle.”

 

“Wow. That's a mouthful to remember.” He gapped at me.

 

“Hey, your suit is wrinkled!” I reached up and smoothed the `wrinkles' that were supposedly on the chest part of his jacket. Rio just stood there and enjoyed the massage.

 

Until Anna interrupted, saying, “What are you doing complimenting every man here?”

 

`Ha she took the bait!' I replied cheerfully “Oh, I do this to everyone! You see, whenever I meet someone new, I try to find something I like about him or her. The way I see it, whoever can see spirits can't be all bad, so I should get to know everyone, and try to pick out their good points!”

 

I moved on to the next boy. It was the African American shaman from before. “Hey there! I'm Jocko! Wanna hear a joke? It's funny, I promise!”

 

“NOOOOOOOO!!!!!” the others screamed. Jocko looked upset that no one wanted to hear his joke.

 

“I'd like to hear it, Jocko.” I coaxed.

 

His eyes widened in pleasure at my response. “Alright then little lady; you got it! Ahem.” He cleared his throat and prepared himself for the performance. “What did the angel say to the comedian when he asked her out on a date?”

 

I furrowed my brow slightly, thinking. “I don't know. What did she say?”

 

“I don't know.” He admitted, “Will you go out with me?” He asked as he pulled out a rose the same bright red as my lipstick.

 

“Hahahaha!! You're funny!” I smiled brightly. “I like you. Just tell me when and where!”

 

Everyone else in the room just gapped. “She thinks Jocko is funny!!!??”

 

Then I looked up as if thinking hard, trying to remember something. “Haven't I seen you somewhere before, though?”

 

“I couldn't think of a place you would have.” He said now thinking too.

 

Then it came to me. “Have you ever been to New York? I used to live there, and you look a lot like Chocolove, the leader of a local gang.”

 

“Oh, yeah, I lived in New York. I heard of that guy, but he's gone now. No one's heard from him in months! Can we talk about something else?” He quickly changed topic.

 

“Alright!” I happily agreed. “I like your nose!” I squeezed his big nose like clowns do and giggled to myself, before placing a light kiss on the end of his nose.

 

Anna glared. Jocko chuckled. Yoh rolled his eyes, but kept smiling his goofy smile. “Okay, that's enough of that! Next person! This is Faust.” Yoh intervened.

 

I was placed in front of a tall blonde in a white doctor's coat with the weirdest pants I've ever seen. They looked like they had metal coils running up them. Or were those his boots? I couldn't tell, but they were awesome looking!

 

“Hello, I'm Johann Faust VIII. Nice to meet you.” The man gave an earnest smile, and I must admit, he was a little creepy, but I liked him.

 

“Yes, yes! Nice to meet you too!” I started circling him, tugging at his extremely cool clothing, all the while spilling random comments of “I looove your pants! Or are those boots?”, “Your hair is sooo kawaiiii! I love how it's messy, but neat and well taken care of.”, “Do you like jello? I love jello!”, and “You are soooooooo CUUUUUTE!”

 

Faust stood there and bore my weirdness and gushing of comments for a while until he said, “I'm sorry, but I do already have a wife.”

 

I stopped in mid tug on his pants and came up to a standing position eye level with his upper torso. “What?! Wife!? Where?!”

 

Faust smiled apologetically as he sweetly whispered, “Come my Eliza.”

 

A gorgeous tall blonde in a pink nurse's outfit appeared out of nowhere. Her lavish blonde hair hanging around her feet.

 

“Whoa! She's your guardian ghost! AND your wife!! She's drop dead gorgeous!! Uh…no pun intended!” I circled Eliza and started gushing compliments much like I had previously done to her husband. “You two make suuuuuch a cute couple!”

 

After I was done giving the happy Faust couple migraine sized headaches I moved over to Judo Tao's brother. He eyed me carefully as I stalked around him much like a vulture would to its prey. I inspected every inch of him (just to annoy him) like he was a piece of meat.

 

“What do you want?!” he snapped, and I realized I could use his words against him to embarrass him further.

 

I swung around to his backside and draped my arms around his shoulders. I kissed him at the base of his neck and replied, “I want you.”

 

The expression on Ren's face was priceless. He turned magenta, and looked excited, but scared to death at the same time.

 

“God, just kidding. Don't have an erection.” I smiled slyly as I winked at him. All the while thinking `Tone it down, Ivy; he's been like a brother to you for your whole life, and you're on the verge of incest here.'

 

Ren blushed an even darker shade (if that was even possible) “I am a gentleman, I was having no such thoughts that would cause that. Thank you very much! You remind me of my sister so much! She was always such a slut too!”

 

“And I bet she used to tease you about your obsession with the number three, didn't she?!”

 

“I do NOT have an obsession with the number three!!” He looked like he wanted to strangle me.

 

“How many glasses of milk do you drink every day?” I began.

 

“Three.” Was the reluctant answer.

 

“And how many women did you live with back in China?”

 

“Three. Ran, Jun, and Judo.”

 

“What question number is this?”

 

“Three! You bloody harlot! Yoh! Get this treacherous snake away from me!” His temper finally gave out.

 

Yoh laughed good-naturedly and escorted me away from my fuming brother, and up to a pink haired, red-eyed girl.