Shaman King Fan Fiction ❯ Ivy, Shaman Runaway ❯ Missing You ( Chapter 62 )

 

Missing You

I looked up at the screen, and images of the past flashed quickly by. Not my past though…The past that I saw revolved around a certain fire shaman.

 

I looked on as he saw his mother raped and murdered by state officials. I watched as they beat him. I saw how frighten the poor five year old boy was. My heart broke for him as they taunted and teased him with cries of `Devil Child' and `Demon Boy'. They threw stones at him, and tortured him. As he grew older he still was not accepted into society, and when he grew too powerful, they murdered him.

 

The screen showed images of a small Patch child growing up as an outcast. It wasn't as bad as the first child the screen had shown me, but it was still pretty bad. This man, too, was killed when he grew too powerful.

 

A third scene unfolded before me; this time I recognized the people and place where the scene took place. Keiko lay in a bed in the middle of the room, Mikihisa was at her side. He didn't have on that mask he always wore. Kino sat beside her daughter, and Yohmei prepared to kill both of his grandsons when they were born. An image of an infant escaping with a miniature Spirit of Fire flashed before the screen started showing quick flashes of how Hao met all of his followers. It showed how he had saved them from the rest of humanity. Then it showed me some random flashbacks of more of Hao's suffering as a child.

 

“No wonder he hates humans so much…they've given him no reason at all to trust them or like them. He was so young when he lost everything, and no one cared for him at all!” I cried as I looked over at the angels for some sign of support or compassion.

 

“Now do you understand why he does what he does?” Michael asked solemnly, sorrow at Hao's fate filling his eyes.

 

I nodded quietly, brushing tears from my own eyes.

 

“Keep watching, there's more.” Gabriel commanded emotionlessly, having no compassion for Hao what so ever. He really was a cold and unfeeling angel.

 

Another image played on the screen. This one looked like a video feed through a web cam or something. It was still of Hao, but this seemed to be happening at the present.

 

“Master Hao is sure that he will be okay?” Opacho asked me one last time as he escorted me back to my tent.

 

“Yes Opacho, for the last time, I'm FINE!” I let the door shut in his face as I escaped into my tent.

 

“Poor Opacho…Hao would never take his anger out on Opacho…He's not acting like himself at all…”

 

I was so sick of their babying. They felt the need to constantly watch and monitor me. Even when I bathed!! I had just been in the bath getting all of the blood off of me, and they decided to stake out the scene and make sure I didn't try anything like drowning myself.

 

My clothes were permanently stained, and no amount of repetitive washing could save them, so I didn't bother trying to get the blood off. I let the gross amount of blood that was on them dry, and I put the pants and poncho back into my closet.

 

I slipped on a regular pair of pants and started searching the drawer and cabinets for a shirt I could wear. After a ten-minute search with no positive results, I started to wonder if I actually owned a shirt. Finally I did find a shirt; it was a black sleeveless one, and it fit a little loosely on me, but I figured it would work.

 

Unfortunately in the drawer with the shirt were a bunch of Ivy's old knick-knacks. A few snapped red rubber bands, a pocketbook version of Romeo and Juliet, a sketchbook, a teddy bear, some CDs, and her CD player were among some of the junk that littered the drawer.

 

“Hey, I had forgotten about that drawer…I didn't clear it out before I left.”

 

I smiled sadly as I remembered her telling me about the legend behind wearing red hair ties or rubber bands on your left wrist. I also reflected on how much like Romeo and Juliet my life was; a tragedy full of lost love.

 

Next I picked up the sketchbook. I flipped through the pages and found numerous drawings of my followers. They were all very realistic, and looked amazing. I hadn't known that Ivy could draw like that. There were a few of Ivy herself in a lot of different poses and positions, and then I came to another section of the book. That section was filled with group pictures. There were some of the Asakuras, and some of the Taos. Another section was full of landscapes. Ponds, forests, deserts, she did all of them with a certain professional skill.

 

“I remember that book…I did most of those drawings when I first met him.”

 

The next section was labeled `Fears'. I scanned the section and found numerous snake drawings. Another was a picture of a huge electrical storm burning a village; that had to signify her not being able to control her powers. The last picture made an icy chill roll up my spine.

 

“Oh Ivy…” It was a picture of me. In the picture I was riding on the Spirit of Fire's shoulder. Flames surrounded us, and I was drenched in blood. I quickly flipped forward onto another section.

 

`I did that drawing the night that you told me your real name. My greatest fear was that you really were a murderer…'

 

This section was filled with pictures of Ivy and me together. I was either holding her, or kissing her, or something of the like. There were also a lot of pictures of just me in various poses. I smiled lightly at the realistic ness of her drawings. The very last drawing was very peculiar. It was Ivy sitting on a riverbank kissing someone. I couldn't discern exactly who it was, but they looked a lot like Yoh in a suit of armor.

 

“That one was of my daydream where my knight in shining armor came and saved me…” `Yoh…'

 

I next moved onto the Teddy bear I had given her not long after we had met. She had complained about not having anything to cuddle with, and when I volunteered to cuddle with her I only got a dirty look. And so I got her a teddy bear. She made a big deal about it, and thanked me over and over again for the cute little thing; all the while she jumped up and down and hugged me.

 

I set down the bear, and investigated her CD collection. She had a few Nickelback, a lot of Goo Goo Dolls, one Maroon5, and a few 3 Doors Down. I picked up one by 3 Doors Down and looked at the song list. There was one song called `Going Down In Flames'. I popped the disc into the CD player, and put on her earpieces. I had nothing better to do.

 

Don't tell me what to think

Cause I don't care this time

Don't tell me what to believe

Cause you won't be there

To catch me when I fall

But you'll need me when I'm not here at all

Miss me when I'm gone again, yeah

I'm going down in flames

I'm falling into this again, yeah

I'm going down in flames

I'm falling into this again

Don't tell me how life is

Cause I don't really want to know

Don't tell me how this game ends

Cause we'll just see how it goes

Catch me when I fall

Or you'll need me when I'm not here at all

Miss me when I'm gone again, yeah

I'm going down in flames

I'm falling into this again, yeah

I'm going down in flames

I'm falling into this again, yeah

Now, I'm all the way down here

I'm falling

I'm all the way down here

I'm falling down again

I'm falling down

I'm falling down

I'm falling down

I'm going down in flames

I'm falling into this again,

I'm going down in flames

I'm falling into this again

Now, I'm all the way down here

I'm falling

All the way

All the way down here

I'm falling down again now I'm falling down

 

“Hmm, how befitting…” I sighed as I put away Ivy's things and flopped onto my bed to cry. “Oh God, what have I done…The only woman I've ever loved, and you picked me to be the one to murder her. You are too cruel.”

 

`I loved her, and I killed her…it's all my fault. Ivy…' I broke down into silent sobs as I hugged my pillow tightly up against me.

 

I gasped when I realized that I could even hear his thoughts. “Oh, Hao…”

 

A light knock at my tent door woke me form my sorrows. “Who is it, and what do you want.” I seethed dangerously. I didn't want to talk to anyone right at that minute.

 

“It's Mari and Macchi!” a cheerful voice chirped from behind the door.

 

“What do you want?” I growled.

 

“Mari and Macchi made Master dinner. Luca says Master Hao must eat something.” Mari explained for herself and her companion.

 

“Thanks, but no thanks. I'd rather starve.”

 

“Hao! You idiot!!”

 

“Hao! You idiot! I will force food down your throat if I have to.” Macchi burst through the door with a plate of food. Mari followed close behind her.

 

I glared at Macchi as she sat down next to me on my bed. “You do know that I have my powers back, don't you?”

 

“I'm well aware of that, but I doubt that you'll be able to stop us.” Macchi smiled brightly as she pounced upon me straddling me, and pinning me to the bed.

 

“What the hell, Macchi?!” I tried to wriggle my way away from her, but escaping would mean hurting the poor little witch.

 

“Okay Mari, you can start feeding him.” Macchi turned her attention back to me to answer my previous question. “We're spoon feeding you. That is…unless you'll eat of your own free will.”

 

“Never.” I glared back at the both of them as Mari lowered the spoon to my mouth.

 

“Hahaha!! Poor Hao…his followers really care about him.”

 

I struggled so much that Mari was unable to get the spoon actually into my mouth. Macchi and Mari glared at this, but then Mari seemed to get an idea. “Macchi, let Mari put food in Macchi's mouth.”

 

Macchi let her, but was still confused as to the purpose. “Okay, but what would the point of—Oh!!! I get it!! You're brilliant Mari!!”

 

I looked back and forth between my two followers; both were grinning like madwomen. “What are you two up—“ I didn't get to finish my sentence because Macchi had taken my opened mouth in a kiss, forcing food down my throat with her tongue. Once she was sure that I had swallowed most of the food she pulled back, smirking evilly.

 

“Mari's turn.” Mari pushed Macchi's head out of her way and Mari's lips descended upon mine, forcing even more food into my mouth and down my throat.

 

They took turns feeding me and eventually I just gave up and let them. “This is fun!” Mari showed one of her rare smiles as she got ready to take her turn.

 

I opened my mouth slightly and she pressed her lips to mine. As she opened her mouth to get the food into mine, I slid my tongue into her mouth and suddenly the innocent feeding session turned into more of a make out session.

 

“Typical Hao; I'm gone not even six hours, and he's already make moves on someone else.” I rolled my eyes at the perverted ness of my X-fiancée.

 

Macchi picked up on what was going on and took it as her invitation to leave. Now that Macchi had released me, and I was able to freely move again I rolled Mari over onto her back and straddled her. I broke away from her to get some air, and she took the opportunity to start talking.

 

“Master Hao?! What are you doing to me?! Why are you—“ I cut her off with one lusty kiss after the other. I subconsciously let my hands wander, and the came to rest one on her hip, and the other on the upper part of her thigh.

 

`God Hao, practice some self-restraint!' I yelled at myself, but apparently I wasn't listening because I repositioned Mari's legs so that they wide open with her knees resting on either side of my hips.

 

Mari gripped the edges of the bed and winced at the pain she knew would soon come.

 

“HAO!!! STOP IT!! LEAVE HER ALONE!!”

 

I stopped. I couldn't go through with it. I could have sworn that I had just heard Ivy yell at me to stop. I looked down at Mari sorrowfully, regretting taking advantage of her. I gently stroked her cheek, brushing a few stray hairs out of her face.

 

Mari's eyes slowly slid open, and she starred up at me in confusion. “Master?”

 

“I'm so sorry Mari. Can you ever forgive me?” I carefully slid her legs away and looked remorsefully at the ground.

 

“For what?”

 

My eyes snapped back to her as she sat up on the bed. “What do you mean `for what'!? I was going to—“

 

“I know what you were going to do to me. I don't care. Mari is here to serve her master, and if her master needs to sleep with someone because he misses Ivy, Mari will always be there to help him on the rebound any time of day or night. Just ask, and Mari will be there for her master.” Mari smiled sweetly at me.

 

“I can't decide if you're dedicated…or if you're crazy. You'd let me…but I…Why? Why would you do this?” I sent a puzzled look her way.

 

“Because Mari…Mari…Mari lo—no…I love you. I love you Hao, and even if I know that you're already too far gone in love with Ivy even if she is dead…I still don't care. I love you, and I'll take you any way that I can get you. I don't care if it is only you lusting after Ivy.” Mari snuggled up against me and sighed.

 

I pushed her away gently, not wanting to hurt her, “Thank you Mari…you can go now. I'm so sorry about this little incident.”

 

She looked longingly back at me as she approached the door. “If Master says so Mari will leave, but…Ivy does not know how lucky she was to have someone like Hao…”

 

I sighed audibly as I sunk back down onto the bed. `God, what a mess I've gotten myself into…' I walked over to my closet and pulled out the bloodstained pair of pants. In the secret pants pocket was a concealed dagger. I got out the dagger and stood in front of the mirror Ivy had hung on the wall when she had first come to stay with me so long ago.

 

“To be…” I held the dagger at arms length from me. “Or not to be…” I brought the dagger so that it was touching my neck, but not drawing any blood. “That is the question…” I slowly pushed the dagger back to arms length. I repeated the movement several times before I decided to actually run it through my neck.

 

Just as it started to draw blood I thought I could hear a faint scream of “HAOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I pulled the knife away and looked down at it, shocked at what I was about to do. “What was I thinking?” I was losing it. I knew I was.

 

“Master I—“ I turned around to look at the man who had just entered my room without knocking. Luca just stood in my doorway starring at me, horrified at what he was seeing. “Hao!”

 

I had forgotten that I was still holding the bloody dagger, and a small trail of blood was trickling down my neckline from the wound on the side of my neck. I looked down to the dagger, and my empty hand flew up to my throat to finger the wound. I pulled my hand away and inspected the blood.

 

My eyes zoomed apologetically back to Luca as I threw down the knife and tried to explain. “Luca, this is not what it looks like!”

 

“Then what exactly is it?” The older man walked over to me, picked up the dagger, and showed it to me. “Is that not your blood on your dagger?”

 

“It is, but I…I didn't mean to do it I…I wasn't thinking, and I…”

 

“Hao!” Luca set the dagger on a nearby desk, and glared worriedly down at me. “This is serious, Hao. Please, stop this. Ivy is dead, and there is nothing you can do about it.” Luca kneeled so that we were both on the same eye level. He gripped my shoulders and forced me to look him in the eyes. “This is not your fault. Do you understand?”

 

“But I was the one who killed her…I killed her…it is my fault.” A giant-sized hand struck me across the face.

 

“Don't say that! It's not your fault! Don't punish yourself for this. Hao? Hao?!” Luca started shaking me.

 

I had completely mentally drifted away. My body was still there, but my mind was already wandering away to a place where Luca couldn't reach me. “I killed her…it's all my fault.”

 

“Hao can you hear me?! Answer me damn it!!” The blank expressionless look on my face and in my eyes scared Luca, and he was afraid he was losing me. “Hao, please!! You're like a son to me; please don't give up! Come back! Come back!”

 

My senses came flickering back to me as I felt two arms encircle me in a tight hug. “Luca…” I mumbled as my eyes began to focus again and my thoughts returned to what was happening at that moment. I blinked a few times. “Luca, what's wrong with me? I can't think straight, and I…I don't know why I did that with that knife…I can't control myself anymore…I don't understand at all…” My once dull eyes flickered again with life as a sense of fear rose over me. I really was going insane. `Help me…'

 

“Oh thank God!! Hao!” Luca brushed some of my hair out of my face. “I was really afraid that I had lost you…How do you feel?” Luca starred worriedly at me, holding my face in his hands so that I couldn't look away from him.

 

“I don't feel well…Luca, I'm really scared; I can't control what I'm doing, and I think I might have done something serious to my neck or throat or whatever when I…Uh…” Everything faded to black as I passed out, falling over into Luca's arms.

 

“Hao! He's going to be okay, isn't he?! I mean he's not going to die is he?! You wouldn't let that happen would you?!” I glanced worriedly back and forth at the three angels. Michael avoided my gaze, and Raphael didn't dare look me in the eye if his superior wouldn't. Gabriel was the only one who answered.

 

“We don't let these things happen, they just happen. We don't know what is going to happen, and we can't control it. That would be The Boss's job.”

 

I awoke sometime later with a splitting headache. I somehow managed to sit up in bed, and that was when I realized that a whole truckload of people was standing around my room, staring intently at me.

 

“HAO!!!!” Macchi practically leaped onto me as she flew over to my bedside to inspect me.

 

“Oh Hao!” Mari wasn't too far behind Macchi, and soon both of them were hovering over me, asking questions.

 

“Oh good, he's alive.” Kanna's dismal voice broke the happy moment.

 

I looked stupidly at her as if saying `Gee Kanna, thanks for caring.' I knew she did care, but she didn't show it in the usual way.

 

“Master Hao!!!!” Opacho, who had been sitting at the foot of my bed, leaped onto me and attached himself to my torso. “Opacho was so worried!!” He pulled out of the hug to scold me, “Never do that again!! Luca said that Hao almost hit an artery or something when he stabbed himself! Opacho almost lost Hao!” Opacho then hugged me tightly again, afraid that I would disappear.

 

The rest of my followers crowded around and started asking a mob of questions, most of which I couldn't make out. It was all just a babble of noise. That was, until a voice broke through the nonsense.

 

“All right, all right! Give the boy some room! He still has to breathe after all.” Luca pushed everyone except Opacho, and the Hanagumi out of the tent before returning to my side to inspect me. “How are you feeling?”

 

I lay back down and looked up at him, smiling a little. “A little better, but still heartbroken.”

 

“Well, unfortunately I can't heal a broken heart. Your neck is looking better, though.” Luca looked over my neck and removed some bandages.

 

“Thanks Luca…How long have I been out?” I sat up again, and Opacho sat down on my lap.

 

“Only a few hours. It's 10:30 pm.” A relieved smile flooded onto Macchi's face, and she sat down on the bed next to me.

 

“Master Hao looks infinitely better than when Mari and Macchi visited earlier.” Mari took a seat next to me on the opposite side of the bed from Macchi.

 

“Hao, you should probably get some rest. You need to take better care of yourself.” Kanna smirked all-knowingly at me as she leaned up against the wall. “Hey, girls. You two should stay here tonight and make sure he doesn't get himself killed. Come along Opacho, Luca.” Kanna grabbed Opacho from off my lap, and practically shoved Luca out the door, leaving me alone with Mari and Macchi.

 

“Well, looks like we'll be sleeping with you tonight Master!” Macchi smiled as she started to slip off her shoes and socks. She also took down her pigtails so that her hair hung down at her shoulders.

 

“Yes, Mari and Macchi will be sleeping with Master tonight.” Mari echoed, also slipping off her shoes and taking down her pigtails.

 

I decided to take the moment to tease them both. “Who's first? Or did you mean both at the same time? I think that that would be a little hard, even for me.” I smiled my Oscar-winning grin at them and watched as they blushed.

 

`God, what did I ever see in that pervert?' I rolled my eyes at Hao's continuous hitting on the Hanagumi members.

 

“Master is too promiscuous for his own good.” Mari slipped under the covers to my right.

 

“Yes, you definitely are lascivious.” Macchi settled down on my left. “But if it's all the same, I'd like to go first.”

 

“NO! Mari first!!” Mari sat up in bed to glare at Macchi, looking scandalized.

 

They both began to squabble back and forth, and it got to a point where I had to stop them before they seriously hurt each other. “That's enough, girls.” I pulled them apart. “Go to sleep. Mari…” I leaned in and kissed her softly. “Macchi…” I kissed her too, but I made her kiss a bit longer since I had kissed Mari first.

 

“Yes Master…” they cooed dreamily, simultaneously as they snuggled up against either side of me. I lay down on my back, and put my arms around them. Mari lay on her side with her head on my shoulder, her hand resting on my stomach, getting awfully close to going below my belt. Macchi lay on her stomach with her head on my chest right above my heart, and her hand rested in the center of my chest. They were both practically lying on top of me, and our legs were overlapping…but that couldn't be helped. We were, after all, all three sleeping in a bed that was made for one person.

 

The girls quickly drifted off into a peaceful slumber, but I couldn't get to sleep. A face kept popping into my head whenever I closed my eyes. Even after she was dead I couldn't stop thinking and dreaming about Ivy. `Goodnight Ivy…I love you.'

 

He had two perfectly good women lying on top of him, and all he could think of was his deceased X-fiancée. I smiled sadly as I watched him sleep fitfully. `Goodnight Hao…'