Shaman King Fan Fiction ❯ The Shaman King Fanfiction of Unmentionable Horror ❯ Chapter Three ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter Three:

 

Lyserg was smiling to himself. He was in love. He didn't know her name, but she was very pretty. Every time he saw her, she seemed to be surrounded by light. Such long hair and pure skin. She really was beautiful.

 

She was in this place often. “Such a shameless flirt,” Lyserg noted, grinning behind a glass. Yes, she could go ruthlessly from man to man, free from opinion. The way she dressed grabbed people's attention. When she walked b them, it was with confidence and style. Once or twice she had glided past him, eyeing him. Now, seeing her, a swarm of butterflies rose in his chest.

 

A million lights seemed to blind him, but they gave her such a sultry glow. Anxiously, he rolled pieces of paper through his fingers. Lyserg's face grew hot as she took long strides in his direction. Her eyes shimmered with a mix of curiosity and desire.

 

Her journey towards him seemed to last a thousand eternities. After such a long wait, the cherished object of his affection and desire was here.

 

She stood before him, and in a dark, exotic voice said, “Hey.” With a contented sigh, Lyserg shoved 500 dollars at her. “Quiet, bitch, and give me a damn lap dance!” His heart swelled as he slapped his true loves hot ass.

 

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Manta lay in the hospital. The surgeons had pieced together his skull. Seven large bandages were stuck in various places on his head. The nurse walked into his room. “You have a visitor!” Manta rubbed his eyes. “Yoh!” The shaman grinned. “Hey. Sorry about yesterday. I brought you something!” Yoh proudly gave Manta a cup full of slushie. “Thanks! Wait…” Manta peered into the cup.

 

“Yoh?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“There's a joint in this slushie.”

 

Sure enough, there was a big freakin' roll of paper stuffed with a lot of freakin' marijuana in the Styrofoam cup of icy deliciousness. “Huh.” Awkward silence…

 

Horohoro and Ren burst in, holding rocks and yelling. Ren wore an eye patch, `cause Horohoro poked his eye with his snowboard. Manta and Yoh stared. The nurse ate a bagel.

 

“Horohoro…?”

 

“Whaaaaaat?”

 

“Is that a…forest?” Ren frantically waved for them to shut up. “Eh?” Horohoro is not Canadian. “You seem to have a…forest scene on your hair.” Ren tried to commit suicide with the rock. Horohoro looked in the mirror. Sure enough, a forest with raccoons poked from his head. Kororo sat having a fun-time picnic with the Janet Jackson picture.

 

“Cool.” Ren passed out in freakin' shock.

 

Ryo and Anna would have shown up, too, but they were out shopping. Ryo was till stoned, so he wanted some new clothes to go with his new `do. “First off,” Anna said, “Someday those clothes will poke someone's freakin' eye out. That's why women hate you.” She tossed a shimmery green fabric at him. “This looks your size. Try it.” Quite an attractive halter dress, too!

 

Horohoro walked pimpin'ly down the street. With his tricked-out new `do, de ladies were all-upons!

 

Well anyways they were staring.

 

Kororo was dancing with the Janet Jackson, humming a happy li'l tune.

 

Faust stood outside his apartment, watering grass. He also hummed a happy li'l tune. The sky was all…sky-ish, and the grass was freakin'…grass-y. And the bluebirds would be wonderful if lightly roasted and topped with a lemon-basil glaze. Deciduous!!!!

 

The brunette waved a handful of Polaroids. “He was, like…oot cold!” The brunette was not Canadian either. The two sat in the super secret lair of…lairs. The brunette was showing off her pictures of Faust. “See, he's so cute when Mr. Ozzy Osbourne knocks him out! BUT…there is a reason for his clothes is not there!” The blonde whacked her upside the head.

 

Yoh and Manta, as advised by their marriage counselor, acted out their problems with sock puppets.

 

“I'm Yoh, I don't flush and I never give Manta nice things!”

 

“Yeah? Well I'm Manta, I'm so anal if you put coal in my ass, in two weeks I'd crap diamonds!”

 

“That would hurt a lot, crapping diamonds. Profitable, though.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

A/N- I'm not saying Yoh and Manta are married. But I'm certainly thinking it very loudly! Just kidding. Marriage counselor was an excuse for that bit of dialogue. The whole “clothes is not there” bit is more of Stan's grammar. “Deciduous” over “delicious” is another dumb joke. Someday, I'll put up a chapter explaining some of the jokes and terms used in this story. Heh…the blonde whacking the brunette upside the head is another thing that would happen in real life. If you can't tell by now, all chapters will start with the word “Lyserg” and a short story about him. This time he wanted a certain stripper to give him a lap dance. No more Frosted Flakes for me!