Slam Dunk Fan Fiction ❯ cuadro ❯ cuadroVIII ( Chapter 8 )

Chapter 8

I would send Kenji to the daycare centre in the morning and I stuck around for one or two hours, sitting around with Takeshi. He was a remarkably smart boy for his age. I really enjoyed his company. He gave me friendship. How pathetic - my only friend was an eight-year-old boy.

I glanced over to Kenji. He was wiping the mouth of a small girl and mock-scolding her. Her eyes glistened and he laughed and ruffled her hair. Kenji had such an infectious happy character. I was probably the most morose person he had ever met - low self-confidence and pessimistic…

I sighed. After my resignation from my dad's company, I had yet to find a job. My parents had more or less disowned me and would probably not give me any allowance or something. Besides, I wouldn't accept it even if they did. My parents… they never really cared for me. I grew up in the shadow of their work and commitments. I always came second, or maybe third, fourth…

I turned back to Takeshi. Takeshi reminded me of myself - receiving little affection, lonely, sad and hard to get along with. I never had any real friends. I found my solace in studying. Takeshi found his in drawing. He liked drawing everything - from fruits to flowers to animals to people. He loved drawing. He loved colours.

Getting up from my seat and brushing eraser dust from my pants, I ruffled Takeshi's hair and got ready to leave.

"Kenji-"

He turned to look at me.

"-I need to do something so I'll leave first."

He nodded and I smiled faintly and turned to leave.

~

I needed to buy Kenji a present. His birthday was tomorrow. I thought of buying him a cat, but it seemed like a weird present. I wanted to get him one of those nice snow-in-glass-ball things that you could shake, and it would "snow" inside. I wanted to get him some crystal figurine but I couldn't find one that I thought he would really like.

I walked along the streets, trying to find something I thought he would like. As I passed by a watch shop, I remembered him saying that he needed a new watch, and I rushed in excitedly. I finally got him a Seiko Perpetual Calendar. I hoped he would like it.

~

I didn't go to the daycare centre the next day. I spent the first two hours of my day thinking of what to wear and spent the next two fretting over my appearance. I made sure I had the present seventeen times over and rehearsed my "lines" at least a hundred times. My nervousness increased as I drove to the daycare centre. I had set out at least an hour earlier, but I got stuck in a jam. My fear increased as it looked like I would not make it in time. I managed to speed my way there.

I got out of my car and searched around frantically. Where was Kenji? I held the present tightly in my hands and searched around for him. I saw a flash of blond hair going into a black Mercedes and it roared past me. Maki was driving it.

My hands gripped the present so hard that my knuckles turned white.

It lay fallen where I had dropped it on the ground.

~

I sat at my desk, with my half-opened bottle of brandy and a champagne glass in my hand. I twirled it around slowly, entranced by the slow movement of the liquid in it. I was so fucking pathetic. I couldn't make Kenji love me. I wasn't doing enough was I? Nothing I did was ever fucking enough for Kenji.

Why did that Maki have to be better at me in everything I did? I hate him. I hate him so much. I threw my glass across the room and it hit the shelf and cracked when it hit the floor. The floor turned a brownish-red as the brandy spilt over it. Maybe it was the stress over the past few days, but for some reason, I just burst out laughing. My chortles slowly turned into sobs and I curled up my chair.

Where was Kenji?

I hated myself.

~

I woke up with an awful headache and I ran to the bathroom, barely making it in time to vomit out my intestines and bowels even. I wiped my mouth and gargled it with water. I hated alcohol. I hated mornings.

I shuffled out of my bedroom. All I remembered of last night was getting drunk, throwing a glass and sleeping in my study room. How come I ended up in my bedroom then? Puzzled, I went to my study room. It was spotless. I walked to the kitchen, on the table was a paper bag and inside were those weird egg things that Kenji liked.

~