Slam Dunk Fan Fiction ❯ Unreasonable Things ❯ Everything Was Never Fine ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter 3: Everything Was Never Fine

"I'm kicking myself that I shared spit with you

So fuck yourself and fuck this bleeding heart of mine…"-Incubus

"Heh heh, I guess it was fate," Sakuragi grinned, looking Rukawa up and down in his red uniform. "Too bad Yao already had your number."

"Bastard," Rukawa sniped good-naturedly. "Look, is that weird or what?" he continued, showing Sakuragi the back of his uniform. It had the number 9, and above that, RUKAWA in romaji letters.

"Oh that *does* look weird!" Hanamichi grinned. "You should add your name on there on the side, in the right alphabet!"

"It's a good idea. I'll ask coach. Anyway, we gotta go."

~*~*~

Two hours later, Sakuragi sat behind the Rockets bench on the floor of the Toyota Center. He'd met the whole team and was quite blown away with Rukawa's cheerful attitude. In high school, Rukawa had always struggled to be a team player, but it was obvious to Sakuragi that he'd finally gotten the hang of it. He seemed to be close with some of his teammates, and was definitely a source of motivation for the team. Sakuragi found himself envying Rukawa's teammates a bit, wishing he'd had a chance to see this side of Rukawa when they'd played together.

The Los Angeles Lakers had been out on the court warming up for awhile, and Sakuragi had spied Sendoh when they first came in. The older man had finally abandoned the straight-up spikes, but his hair was a carefully executed mess nonetheless. Sakuragi was laughing at something someone had said about Rukawa's partially blue hair when he noticed Sendoh approaching the bench with his trademark smile.

*God, that smile used to seem so sincere,* Hanamichi mused. Sendoh stepped up to Rukawa and tapped the shorter man on the shoulder. Rukawa turned around and smiled.

"Konnichi wa, baka-yaro," he said in a friendly tone. Sendoh just laughed and pulled the shorter man into a bear hug. All the guys who'd been on the team previously nodded and greeted Sendoh, who was now in his third season on the team. This was the first time the Rockets and Lakers would meet since Rukawa had been in the US, so it would be his first game against Sendoh since the Kanagawa days.

Sendoh seemed to notice Sakuragi for the first time. At first he just gawked a bit, seeming baffled by the redhead's presence. After a few moments, he stuttered, "S-Sakuragi?"

"Hi," Hanamichi said somewhat bashfully. He hadn't seen Sendoh in years, either. He couldn't help but marvel at how Sendoh had grown up to be quite a dashing young man. It worried him to wonder how he would act toward Sendoh if he met him for the first time today. Would he fall for the innocent smiles all over again?

"Holy God, Hanamichi, you look amazing," Sendoh told him, in Japanese so no one else would understand him. Almost no one else, anyway.

Rukawa turned around with a fierce look on his face, seen by Sakuragi but not Sendoh. Sendoh gave Sakuragi a somewhat gentler hug than he'd given Rukawa. He briefly ran his hands down the redhead's arms as he stepped back. Some of the guys were looking at Rukawa curiously, seeing the appalled look on his face. "What's he saying?" someone asked. Rukawa was oblivious to all but Sendoh's apparent flirtation with his boyfriend.

*Just a kiss, just a kiss, that's all it ever was….* Rukawa told himself, recalling what Hanamichi had told him about his first kiss. He was having a hard time convincing himself that all was well.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sendoh asked, all his attention on the redhead now.

"Ahh, actually, I'm here visiting Kaede."

"Wow, that's something different now isn't it? I guess you guys got okay with each other by the time you graduated."

"Heh, not really. This is a more…recent…friendship."

Sendoh turned, hearing his coach calling to him. "Oh, I have to get back to the team. Hey, let's go out after the game, ne? You, me, Rukawa and whoever else feels like joining, maybe we can get dinner or something."

"Sounds good to me," Sakuragi smiled. His smile faded when he saw Rukawa looking suspiciously at Sendoh.

"Oh hey Sendoh, did you bring your girlfriend this time?" Rukawa asked.

Sendoh regarded him curiously for a moment. "No, no, she had work. Ne, is anything bothering you, Rukawa?"

Rukawa just gave him a narrow look and then turned to his teammates. Sendoh raised an eyebrow as he walked toward the other side of the court.

"Y'all ready to do this?" Rukawa yelled, apparently deciding to let his irritation go for now.

There was silence for about five seconds before one of Rukawa's teammates, Steve, let out a bark of laughter. "*What* did you say?"

Sakuragi raised an eyebrow. "What does…"

"Did you just say `y'all'?" Steve cackled.

"Oh hell," Rukawa muttered.

"Oh boy, you held out for almost a year, but now it's official. You're one of us now. Welcome to the dark side."

"Fucking Texas," Rukawa muttered, shaking his head.

*~*~*~

Hanamichi was fascinated by the variety of people he saw…all in a Japanese restaurant. After the game, Sakuragi, Rukawa and Sendoh had gone for sushi with Steve and one of Sendoh's teammates, Tim. The Lakers had won by 10 points, but no one really wanted to talk about the game anymore.

Sakuragi smiled to himself as he thought about how cute his man looked in what he called his "alternative gear." After the game, Rukawa had changed into some seriously baggy jeans, a Linkin Park T-shirt, and a Rockets cap. But Hanamichi was particularly fond of the thick leather bracelets and the chain around Rukawa's neck, complete with padlock on it.

"So what ever happened to Miyagi?" Sendoh asked. "I know Mitsui is like your best buddy now, but I thought in high school you and Miyagi were tight."

"Ha," Sakuragi laughed mirthlessly. "Yeah, we *were*. Hell, I even stopped being so close with Yohei after he and Haruko got married. Not because of her or anything, but because they moved. Anyway, what happened with Miyagi."

Hanamichi sighed and rested his chin on his hand. "Well, when Ayako started dating Akagi in college, Miyagi was just traumatized about it. He said all kinds of horrible things to her. Guess he was too scared to try to get Gori into it. But anyway, he called her all sorts of outrageous things. Said she was evil, heartless, a slut, stuff like that. Mitsui and I were both living with Miyagi at the time. Ayako called me that day in tears. By this time, she was so used to supporting me when I was dealing with some tough things. So I was more than ready to listen to her and try to be as good a friend to her as she was to me.

"Well apparently Mitsui and Miyagi were out discussing this, and Miyagi was playing the heartbroken victim. I was talking to Ayako when they got home and of course I was just furious. I told her I would come over, and it was partly so I could get off the phone and address Miyagi, but after that I was going to go.

"So I just ripped into him. Yelling at him for being so awful to my friend. Mitsui then got pissed too, when he heard the other side of it. So then…he turned on us. He started calling me a fag and shit like that. I think now it wouldn't bother me so much, but I was still dealing with new things at that time and it was harsh. When Mitsui started in on him for talking about me, Miyagi really went off. He knew that Mitsui went through a lot of girls, and I think he did know that that was because he always ended up getting used or hurt by them, and broke up with them when their true intentions came out. But anyway. Miyagi starts yelling that the real reason Hisashi couldn't keep a girl was that they could tell that he was wallowing in the closet, and that I was corrupting him and turning him queer. Which, hello, was never going to happen." Sakuragi finished his story with a sigh and rubbed his fingers over his forehead.

"Hey, I'll be right back. Restroom," Sakuragi mumbled as he climbed over Rukawa to leave the table. Rukawa frowned after him.

When he arrived back at the table, Rukawa was staring at the table and Sendoh was smiling, murmuring something to the younger man in Japanese. He noted Steve and Tim smiling in amusement and curiosity. Sakuragi raised an eyebrow and asked, "What's up? You're making some people feel very left out."

"We're just talking about you."

"What? What about me, you losers?" Sakuragi grinned cheekily.

"Just talking about the graduation party that Rukawa missed."

"What about the party?" Sakuragi demanded, suddenly tense. Though Rukawa knew that Sendoh was the first person Hanamichi had ever kissed, he wished it could be left alone. It made Hanamichi nervous for Sendoh to talk about it when he was not around.

"Oh, nothing, you big baby," Sendoh taunted. He continued in Japanese so only Rukawa and Sakuragi would understand, "I keep telling you, we should all be over something that happened eight years ago."

"Some of us are over it."

"Oh, come on," Sendoh leered. Then in English, "I'll take the blame for it all, I just couldn't resist."

The Americans looked up with interest at this. Hanamichi shook his head.

"I was-"

"Drunk," Sendoh said at the same time as Sakuragi. Rukawa made some odd noise of discontent and Hanamichi turned to see him looking perturbed.

"What?" he asked softly, sitting next to the other man and shifting as close as he could without outright touching him.

Rukawa chewed on his lip and looked around. He glared at Sendoh, and then spoke very softly to Sakuragi in Japanese.

"So…is that just…something you do? Get drunk and…"

"NO!" Sakuragi glanced around sheepishly after his loud response. "No," he said more softly. He continued to speak softly in hopes that Sendoh wouldn't hear him. "Look, I am really sorry things are getting off track tonight. I was looking forward to the three of us hanging out. And I might as well apologize for Sendoh since I know he won't. It's pissing me off because he seems intent on taunting you…and…look, I'm sorry. But…it was eight years ago! If I could take it back…how was I to know I would later be…like…cheating on you in retrograde?"

"So…so you're telling me it's one thing if you get drunk and kiss Sendoh…it's nothing…but if you get drunk and fuck me, that's love?"

Sendoh's ears perked up at this and he turned to regard the two with a wide-eyed stare. Sakuragi returned it with the death glare he was once famous for. He regarded the other man in stony silence for half a minute before pointing his index finger at him.

"Come with me. Now."

Out in the parking lot, Sakuragi turned on Sendoh and crossed his arms across his chest. "Mundai desu ka?"

"I don't have a problem. You're the one who dragged me out here."

Sakuragi stepped up to the taller man and spoke softly so as not to draw too much attention. "Are you trying to fuck things up with me and Kaede? He is getting really upset. Maybe you can't see past what's left of his ice-cold shell, but I can."

"Hmm, so it's like I thought. Well I'm proud of you. Congratulations on landing yourself a pro basketball player. How long has this been going on?"

At this Sakuragi raised an eyebrow and hissed, "None of your damn business. What are you so bitter about? What did we ever do to you? Are you jealous or something?"

"Believe me, I have nothing to be jealous of. I have a-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, you have a girlfriend."

"What I have is a cover story. And a boyfriend that even she doesn't know about."

For once Hanamichi couldn't think of anything to say. So Sendoh filled the silence. "And to be honest, I was doing this more to taunt *you*. But, now that I've figured it out, I think it *would* be better for you to end things."

Sakuragi glared and tried to insult the older man, but his mind remained blank.

"It's for his own good."

This snapped Sakuragi out of his stupor. "What? How can you possibly say you know what's in his best interest?"

"Keep it down, you asshole. Why do you think I'm even keeping my so-called girlfriend in the dark about my situation? You can't trust anyone. I don't doubt she'd run to the newspapers or ESPN if she knew. She'd sell me out. I don't want to ruin my career. Rukawa doesn't seem to understand what this could do to him here. Have you ever heard of an American athlete who was gay or bisexual? Even if anyone is, and I imagine there has to be someone, certainly no one knows about it. People speculate, but it would be different if he erased all doubt. What if he went on TV and said he liked men? What do you think would happen?"

Sakuragi stared at the ground. He supposed it was a valid point. If he had a serious relationship with Rukawa…if he moved to be with him, would they be able to keep it a secret? Would Rukawa even try to? And indeed, what if he did make it known? What would happen? Would he be simply dissed, or would he be physically attacked? Kicked off his team? Abused to the point of wanting to quit? He had to admit that even though the US was tolerant on its face, sports were a very macho arena. The more he thought about it, the worse he felt. Could Rukawa really be naïve enough to think it wouldn't matter? Or did he just not care? Or did it just never even occur to him? He hated to admit, it had never occurred to him.

Sakuragi didn't realize he was almost in tears until Sendoh placed a hand on his shoulder. "Look, I'm sorry, I guess this is tough for you. You're on two different halves of the planet. And you must really care about each other to try to maintain any kind of relationship. And I think maybe you're confused about what to do, whether it's worth it. Whether you can have a real relationship. But do you realize what's going to happen to him here? He's going to have real groupies, Sakuragi. Not like the screeching girls in high school. I'm talking about women who are going to be throwing themselves at any man with money and a pretty face that they've seen all over TV."

"And what, you think that's better than what I can offer him? Than what I give him?" Sakuragi whispered harshly, "I love him. And he loves me. You think some gold-digging whores are going to change that?"

"You know it's already started. I don't think he's had sex with any of them, but I heard something about some chick being in his hotel room in Phoenix a few months ago."

"Shut the hell up, Sendoh. He hasn't slept with anyone else since we've been together."

"I'm just calling it like I see it, buddy. Hell, maybe his supposed `love' has blinded him to the reality of his situation. Yes, it's shallow, and most of the guys go in for it. It doesn't matter who you are, it gets to be too much to resist."

"Including yourself, are you?" Sakuragi sneered.

Sendoh glanced down for a second and shrugged. "Everyone's human. And if you're bisexual, it's a lot harder to resist a hot chick than if you don't, you know, like chicks at all. Which one is Rukawa?"

Sakuragi glanced down nervously, trying to shrug casually, as if to say it was none of Sendoh's business.

"Let me guess, did he tell you he was never with another man, until you? Huh, maybe that's not even true. On the other hand, maybe he likes chicks and just makes an exception for you?"

"Shut up," Sakuragi growled, pointing a finger in Sendoh's face. "I know all about his past, as he does mine."

Sendoh arched an eyebrow, making Sakuragi very nervous. "Does he? Seems that somehow you've let him think all you and I ever shared was a kiss." Sakuragi glared at the ground as Sendoh continued. "God, imagine if he knew the truth."

Sendoh moved closer to Sakuragi, smirking, as the redhead tried to back away without causing a scene. Sendoh leaned close to his ear and said softly, tauntingly, "Imagine how he'd react if he knew about how you whimpered and moaned while I sucked your-"

"SHUT UP!" Sakuragi yelled as he shoved the older man away from him. "I never slept with you and I never would have…never…" he said in a small voice.

"You were drunk," Sendoh nodded in mock sympathy.

"What difference does it make who else either of us has been with?"

"Sakuragi, what did he tell you? Did he tell you that he slept with girls?"

"Yeah, but…"

"Did he tell you that he disliked doing it?"

Sakuragi frowned at the ground. That was what he understood, that he didn't like it. But did he ever really say that? Sendoh was getting to him…confusing what he thought he knew. And this pissed him off immensely. He could hear Sendoh's mocking voice in his head…*You were drunk…* "This is different," he murmured to himself.

Suddenly Sakuragi got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach and looked up to see a stone-faced Rukawa Kaede storming towards them. He had never seen the other man so fired up while still remaining blank, aside from any high school game that had involved Sendoh. And that was pale in comparison to now. Sakuragi practically jumped out of his way but then grabbed for his wrist as he marched up to Sendoh.

"Please don't…"

"Don't what?" he hissed. Sakuragi did flinch at this. It had been years since he'd heard such a cold tone from the other man. Was he mad at him now, too?

Sakuragi frowned fiercely when Rukawa jerked his arm away from his grasp. Rukawa kept going until he stood about 3 inches away from Sendoh, staring up at the other man. "Are you trying to steal my man?"

"What?"

"No? So are you trying to take me?"

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Then what is it, Sendoh? What's got you so worked up, homes?"

Sendoh rolled his eyes at the American expression. "I'm trying to help you, you ignorant fuck."

Sakuragi jumped yet again as Rukawa's fist connected with Sendoh's face. The older man cursed in about three different languages as he held a hand to his jaw.

Rukawa yelled louder than anyone had ever heard him in his life, Hanamichi would reckon. Some passersby seemed to be arguing over whether he was indeed the basketball played they suspected him to be. Not that they would likely understand a word he was yelling.

"Don't you EVER say anything to me or my boyfriend again! EVER!" Rukawa shouted, furiously jabbing a finger in Sendoh's direction. "I don't want to see your fucking face again, you hear me? Get the hell away from us!"

*