Slayers Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Magic in Nerima! ❯ 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: None of the series, characters, or locations mentioned in this story are owned by the author of this story unless stated otherwise.

Eheh, this isn't exactly an SI as Brian-Ranko will be doing things that I wouldn't in the future. (However, I am considering putting myself in at a later point just for kicks) I also forgot to mention that this was a slight crossover with Slayers, but you don't need to have seen/read it to read this. I'll describe all the spells myself, and Xellos' background will be provided later, within the story. I needed Ranko to be able to do something, but I didn't want to push Ranma off the #1 pedastal for martial arts, so I made his sister just as good at the mystical arts, and almost as good at Martial arts(the anti-thesis of this role will be filled by Ranma later, once he starts learning magic from her)…

Also, any glaring errors will be fixed tomorrow 'cause I'm too lazy to fix it right now and I would like to get a response soon.

---

“Huh? School?” Ranma looked at his father and sister with a look of confusion(as well as sleeplessness) plastered on his face.

“Well, we are going to be staying here for a while,” Genma said.

“And now that the extended training trip is over, we'll be going home when Haha-ue returns from her trip, and since it's in the same district it only saves time,” Ranko shrugged.

`Wait. Mom?' Ranma furrowed his brow in obvious concentration, trying to remember the woman. `So she's alive? Pops never told me anything about her and I forgot as much about her as I did Ranko…' He shook his head. `Wait a minute…' “Well, still. Why do I have ta go to school? Ain't no way algebra n' stuff's gunna help me run a dojo or nuthin.”

“Ranma, it's easier for ignorant people to get scammed.”

“That's not true,” Genma started. “I've sca…Err, what the girl said, boy.” Ranma and Ranko looked at him and then shrugged.

“Anyway, what I'm saying is…for example, if a man can not count and someone sells him one of those cheap ramen bowls for like ten thousand yen, he'll think it's an honest deal,”

 

“Nuh-uh,” Ranma said. “People just know the value of money.” He crossed his arms. “I don't need to go to school.”

 

“Well I already signed you up yesterday, so you're going.” Genma snapped.

 

“What?!” `When did he get the time…'

 

“Oh be quiet, It's not that bad,” Ranko rolled her eyes. Nabiki walked by and glanced in the room.

 

“I'm going to go ahead with Nabiki,” She stood up ran after the middle Tendo sister.

 

“Wait!” Akane's voice sounded out. “I'll go with you!” She clambered around a corner in a hurry to follow the other girls.

 

“Wait, Akane. Don't you think you should be walking your Fiancé to school?” Ranko asked.

 

“He's your brother! And when was it decided that he was my fiancé? I thought it-“

 

“Last night,” Nabiki said quickly. “Well Ranko, she is right, he's your brother. You going to just let the two of them walk to school…alone? Just the two of them?”

 

“Nabiki!” Akane shouted, red-faced.

 

“Yeah, I don't think she'll try anything like that yet,” Ranko said casually as she and Nabiki left. Akane turned entirely red and steam was seen erupting from her ears.

 

“Is that healthy?” Ranma whispered to his father, pointing at the red girl.

 

“I don't think so.”

 

-

 

Ranma sighed as he walked on the fence ahead of the Tendo girl. Akane was still brooding at the fact that her sister and best friend had left her behind with some…boy. And even if he was technically her fiancé, the two had known each other for less than an entire day. `She doesn't think I'll try anything like what yet?' She clenched her fist, knowing very well what the answer was. `How can they mock me like this? It's…It's not fair!'

 

“Yo Akane, are you all right?” Ranma asked, concerned. “You don't look too swell.”

 

“Of course I don't! My family just dumped some pervert boy on me and—“

 

“Whoa, hold it!” Ranma said angrily. “What's this pervert mess? You walked in on me and stared at MY—“

 

“IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN A GIRL SEES A GUY!” She interrupted him before he could finish.

 

“Right,” Ranma snorted, turning forward. “Pervert.”

 

“Wh…WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?” She screeched.

 

“I called you a pervert, pervert!” He snickered. `This is so-` “HEY!” Ranma dodged a swipe from her bag and a few kicks. “What the hell are you doing, tomboy-pervert?!”

 

“STOP CALLING ME A PERVERT, BOY-GIRL PERVERT!”

 

“Heh,” Ranma snorted. “Only when you stop being so perverted.”

 

“I'm not perverted! I never was and never will be!”

 

“Then you're gonna be reaaal lonely.” Ranma jumped to dodge a low kick. “Hey, stop it already! This is dangerous!” He looked over the edge of the fence and noticed to his horror a wash full of water.

 

“What's wrong? You not so tough now, are you?” She growled as she tried to punch him.

 

“No but there's water—Waugh!” With his concentration split between walking on the fence, eyeing the water in fear, and dodging Akane's fierce attacks, he slipped on the fence and fell below in the water. “Arrgh! Dammit!”

 

“Fufufufufu…Who's the pervert now, you stupid pervert?” She asked, laughing at him haughtily.

 

“You, you stinking pervert,” Ranma said, flicking the wash water up at her.

 

“Gahh! You idiot!” Akane jumped down from the fence to avoid the dirty water. Ranma just jumped out after her and started walking the other way. “Hey! Where are you going?”

 

“To take a bath, stupid. You think I want to start school as a girl?” she said as she walked away, wringing out her shirt.

 

“Eh?” She blinked. `Wait, he doesn't know the way to school!' “Wait, if hot water is all you need, you can change back, right? Come on, I know somewhere where we can get hot water,” she sighed, leading him away.

 

--

 

“So, what's Ranko's brother really like?” some of Nabiki's cronies were sitting with her in the window as they watched Ranko cut through the hentai brigade. It wasn't going any slower than usual, and that was noting the fact that she usually had Akane's help.

 

“He's really weird,” Nabiki said. “There he is, right there,” She pointed at the entrance of Furinkan where Ranma was watching in surprise as Akane hit the tail end of the hentai brigade that Ranko was cutting through towards the school. Any of the guys who had recovered by now were swiftly sent back to la-la land as the Akane and Ranko demolished the last of their ranks. The two ended up standing in the center of the boys, back to back, and neither looked winded. Ranma leapt over most of the boys to join them in the center.

 

-

 

“What the hell was that all about?” Ranma asked his sister and fiancée in annoyance. Had he just missed out on some wonderful free-for-all smackdown? Pops would be disappointed in him if anyone managed to tell the man what that was all about.

 

“Truly, such a boorish lot.” Came a new voice. Ranma looked up and felt a sudden pang of disgust for some reason. He noticed that it was clearly showing on Ranko's face, while Akane merely looked annoyed. “Evidently each of them intends to ask you out on the day that he defeats you.” Ranma spotted another teen wearing some old samurai garb.

 

“Talk about last year's fashion,” Ranma said absently.

 

“Oh, Kuno-sempai.” Akane drawled.

 

“And now…will the two of you fight with me?” Kuno said, tossing twin roses to the girls. Ranko instantly dropped hers in disgust and Akane only humored hers for a few seconds longer.

 

“Man, you two are popular,” Ranma commented lazily.

 

“We sure are,” Ranko nodded.

 

“What's going on anyway?”

 

“You there!” Before either girl could answer, Kuno interrupted. “You are being quite familiar with Akane and Ranko!”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Who ARE you, boor?! Ah! But is the custom to give one's own name first! Mine I shall GIVE!”

 

The trio stared at him in relative silence.

 

“Huh?” Ranma said finally. “If you want…” He shrugged.

 

“My name is Kuno-sempai. Captain of the Kendo Club. Undefeated new star of the high school fencing world. But my peers call me…the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!” Lightning struck behind him and the trio clapped. “Yes, that was impressive, was it not?”

 

“…Well, okay. I'm uh…I'm staying at the Tendo Practice hall—“

 

“WHAT?!” Kuno Roared. “Under the same roof as Akane?!”

 

“—I'm heir to the Saotome school of indiscriminate grappling…” Ranma jumped to dodge a strike from Kuno. “Here, hold this for me!” He tossed his bag to Ranko…who just let it fly past her to the ground. Ranma frowned. “What the hell was that? I said `Hold this for me'!”

 

“I didn't feel like holding it.” She shrugged as she walked off.

 

“Well whatever,” Ranma mumbled. “Anyway, I'm Saotome Ranma!” He looked to Kuno. “ And I accept your challenge!”

 

--

 

As Ranko made it to class 1-F, she noticed people were huddled in the center of the room.

 

“Hey Ranko!” one of the girls called as she made herself known. “Was that really your long lost brother?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Wow! He's so amazing!”

 

“Is he single?”

 

“What's he like?”

 

“Is he gay?”

 

“Yes, He's amazing, No he's not single, He's a actually kinda dumb, and no, he's not gay.” Ranko's eye twitched at that last one as she saw one of the boy's eyes flash with disappointment. `Androgynous people can't be gay anyway, right?'

 

“Really? So who's the lucky girl?” Sayuri asked.

 

“Errr, I'll leave that to him to tell,” Ranko said hesitantly. `You'll all know by the end of the hour anyway.' The students seemed satisfied with this and took their seats.

 

The teacher then walked into the room.

 

“Hello, class!” He said with a cheery smile.

 

“Metallium-sensei! Did you hear about Ranko's brother?” one of the boys in the back asked.

 

“Hmm? Why yes!” the purple-haired man said. “I heard he was a delightful young man!” Ranko's eyebrow raised in amusement at Xellos' antics.

 

`Leave it to a demon that feeds off of negative emotions to become a math teacher…'

 

“Ah, shall we begin class?”

 

-

 

Ranma and Akane finally joined the class at around 9:30.

 

“Hmm?” Xellos noted Ranma and then looked down at the desk. “Oh yes, Saotome Ranma, the esteemed brother of Saotome Ranko.” The twins blushed at that. “Well, I'm afraid you're late, Saotome-san, Tendo-san. Stand outside for the remainder of the class, if you would.” The two sighed and walked out of the class. “Where were we? Oh yes, the wonders of Quadratic Equations.”

 

“But sensei, that's not till the middle of the book! We just started!”

 

“Oh?” Xellos opened one of his eyes to a slit and made his mouth in a simple flat line. There was an uncomfortable silence in the class. After a few seconds, he closed his eye and smiled again. “I thought as much. Now, turn to page—“

 

“NEVER!” came a fairly loud and familiar voice. “I SHALL NEVER ACCEPT YOUR ENGAGEMENT TO AKANE!”

 

Everyone looked at Ranko.

 

“What's this I hear?” Xellos looked at Ranko with his ever-present smile.

 

“Err, well our parents arranged--” She stopped in mid-speech as all of the seats were empty. Floating pencils fell to the ground and mild clouds of dust were dissipating. “Gahh…” She sighed. “I guess class is over.”

 

---

 

“Hmm, where are they, where are they…” Ranko looked around the school grounds.

 

“Whither Ranma Saotome?!” cried out a familiar voice. Ranko turned her head to see the sopping wet Kuno looking around like a moron and blinked.

 

“Oi! Kuno-kun!” She shouted, approaching him.

 

“Ah! Saotome Ranko, the crimson-trussed-goddess!”

 

“Sorceress Genius,” She corrected him.

 

“Sorceress?” He asked, looking nervous.

 

“Yeah. Haven't you ever seen magic before?”

 

“Of course not! Such does not exist!”

 

`He sounds like he's trying to reassure himself more than anything,' Ranko shrugged. “Right,” She said holding up her hand. “So I guess this little piece of magic doesn't exist, eh?” A sphere of light appeared, hovering above her hand.

 

“That is correct! The sphere of magic in your hand does indeed not exist!”

 

“Oh. Okay.” She closed her eyes and the sphere of light exploded with a blinding flash. Kuno screamed and fell to his knees, clutching his eyes. Just then, Ranma, who was still in female form leapt over to the two.

 

“What the heck was that?” Ranma asked her sister. “I saw a flash of light and came as fast as I could.” Ranko merely whistled innocently. “Well, whatever.” She looked down at Kuno who was barely regaining his sense of sight. “Yo Kuno, what's up? Why are you groveling in front of us?”

 

“The blue thunder does not GROVEL!” Kuno thundered as he stood up and faced the twins. He suddenly stopped in mid-stride, then peered at Ranma, then Ranko, then Ranma again.

 

“Whoa, what's his problem?” Ranma asked.

 

“I don't think he knows you're the same person, Ranma,” Ranko said.

 

`Ranma?!' “What is this nonsense you speak? Surely you do not intend to fool me into believing that this girl who looks identical to Ranko Saotome is the same as that foul cur! Where is that cad? Surely the coward has fled in fear of my own prowess!”

 

“Err, I don't know about that…” Ranko started.

 

“I don't have ta listen ta this crap,” Ranma said as she angrily approached Kuno. “Kuno! I challenge you!”

 

“…Heh. How amusing,” Kuno's voice rang with confidence. “Fine. If you can defeat me…” He held up his sword. “I will allow you to date with me!” He swung his bokken at Ranma, who simply jumped over the swing and kicked him in the face while using her other foot to tear the sword from his grip. “You jerk!” She kicked him again in the chin this time with enough force to knock him out instantly, and he fell over as she bounced off of his face with the stick in her hand and she tossed it at his crumpled, unconscious form once she landed. “That's that.” Ranma smirked. He turned and started walking away. “Come on, Ranko, let's go home.”

 

“School's not out yet,” Ranko blinked.

 

“Oh. Well let's go.”

 

“Wait!” Akane's voice sounded and she ran over to the group with a kettle. “Here.” She gave it to Ranma who gladly accepted it.

 

“Yeah! You're not so bad after all, tomboy-pervert!” She said as she emptied it's contents on herself.

 

“I am NOT a pervert!” She yelled angrily. “I DETEST perverts!”

 

“Oh, so you're one of those `do as I say, not as I do' types, eh?” Ranma smirked.

 

“NO!”

 

`Hmm, that's different,' Ranko noted. “Well, regardless, let's go.”

 

---

 

That night, in the Tendo Dojo…

 

“Okay, Otou-Sama!” Ranko called out as she tightened her belt. “I'm ready!” She moved into a ready stance and the large martial artist gave her an appraising look.

 

“Good stance, not too many openings,” he said.

 

`Not too many?' she blinked as he vanished. “Eyahh!” She jumped to the side to dodge his aerial strike.

 

“Keep your focus on the fight, girl!” He said seriously as he charged her with a flurry of kicks and punches. She managed to dodge most of them and only had to block two. On a particular uppercut, she countered and launched into a combination of her own attacks. He dodged every single one, and she had to give the old man credit for being able to move so bulky a body so well. “What are you waiting for, girl? Your old man may indeed be old, but I'm not decrepit yet!” He yelled. “You're starting to insult me!”

 

“Fine then!” She yelled, jumping back. “It's time to go all out! Are you ready?”

 

Genma yawned. “I'm waiting, dearie,” He said in a bored voice.

 

`Mock ME will you?!' She narrowed her eyes as she leapt at him in a fit of controlled rage. “Taste THIS, old man!” She smirked as his eyes widened for a split second and he was forced to block her strike. She followed up with a roundhouse punch that he jumped backwards to dodge. In the split second it took for her to register that she'd missed and he'd jumped back, he was already flying at her in a high-jump kick. She braced herself and caught him, turning with his own momentum and releasing him at the dojo's wall.

 

Being a master of aerial combat gave him a great deal of control over his flight path, however, and he merely landed a meter or so away from her. The two re-engaged each other while Ranma and Akane watched from the sidelines.

 

“Wow,” Ranma said. “She's pretty good, isn't she?”

 

“Yeah, she's only a little worse than I am,” Akane nodded. “I always beat her.” Ranma snorted.

 

“You're not that good.”

 

“Am so. I only went easy on you because I wasn't quite expecting what you had and I was still tired from sparring with her earlier.”

 

“Ha, whatever, pervert-queen.”

 

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?!”

 

“You heard me,” Ranma said, standing up in a challenging way. Akane glared at him.

 

“Fine! After these two are done, I'll mop the floor with you! Hmph!” She stomped away to get her gi.

 

“Hmm, I was thinking we could go as we were, the Dojo's big enough,” He blinked. When he turned back to Genma and Ranko, the girl was bent over, panting and Genma was standing there with an appreciative look on his face.

 

“I'm going to have to thank Tendo for keeping the girl in shape. She's about as good as you can get without living the way we did, boy.” He said to his son.

 

“Really?” Ranma asked. “Yo, pops, why did you go all out on her? I thought you said you can't do that with girls.”

 

“She's family, she doesn't count,” Genma snorted and waved it off.

 

“Ah, okay,” Ranma accepted that. `Then I can't wait to spar with her.'

 

“What about his fiancée?” Ranko asked, having caught her breath.

 

“He can do as he pleases with her,” Genma said, waving his hand.

 

“Father…” Ranko sighed, drawing herself up to her full (diminutive) height. “What would you do if you realized my fiancé was going easy on me?”

 

“I'd…” He stopped. “Hmmm…” There was some thinking involved. “Well I'd--…no…” Ranko shrugged.

 

“It's all right, pops, you can stop hurting yourself,” Ranma spoke up as he walked over to Ranko and held up a hand. “If you really want me to be harder on her, I'll try. But no guarantees.”

 

“Really? You mean it?”

 

“I said no guaran—“

 

“Oh, aniki, you're the best!” She glomped him and hugged on to him. “I just knew you'd come to your senses!”

 

“Uh…” Ranma just stood there, blushing. “…Whatever. Oh and could you stop calling me Aniki? Ranma is just fine,” He said.

 

“Oh no, I couldn't possibly. Haha-ue would never allow it.”

 

“But Mom's not here right now,” He said, annoyed.

 

“…Fine, if it's what aniki desires of me, I shall comply,” She said, sulkily. She looked up into his face with big, sparkling eyes. “You know I'd do anything for you, Aniki…”

 

Ranma was beyond weirded out at this point. “Uh, yeah, okay,” He said, ducking out from under her embrace. “Uh, listen, why don't you go…uh…what is it you were about to do?”

 

“Watch you and Akane spar.” `Oh man, he's so easy to mess with. All I did was say “anything”.' Ranko chuckled to herself. `Well, I am the best looking girl in all of Nerima…heh heh…'

 

---

 

Sunday

 

---

 

 

Ranma-chan waited patiently at the appointed place. Kuno had given Nabiki a letter of challenge addressed to the “beauteous twin of Saotome Ranko” sometime the week before and it was now time for their bout.

 

“Feh, there he is,” She smirked as he became visible.

 

“So you have come, my pig-tailed girl!”

 

“You don't learn quick, pal, do you? Well? Where's your sword?”

 

“Humph. I have no need of a sword…”

 

“Really? Pretty confident today, aren't you?”

 

“Confident enough…to give you THIS!” He yelled as he tossed a bouquet of roses to the girl. Ranma froze after she instinctively caught it. “I love you.” He turned and began walking away. Ranma fell to her knees in shock.

 

---

 

The day after…

 

---

 

Ranma blinked. “Hey, it's a Hot Spring?” He asked aloud.

 

“What kind of place is this?” said a familiar voice to his side. He looked and saw his cursed form…no, Ranko; the hairstyle was a tell-tale sign of her identity.

 

“Ranko, what are you doing here?”

 

“I don't know, but I think we're about to find out.” She said, pointing up.

 

“Eh?”

 

“RAAAANMAAAAA!” Came an impossibly loud and deep rumble. Ranma's eyes bugged at the monstrous Kuno. “I LOVE YOU!”

 

“What? Listen, you moron, I'm a Bo-“ Ranma froze as he was suddenly a she. Her eyes bugged and she stuttered. “N-no…this is impossible!” She yelled out.

 

“Come on!” Ranko said frantically, grabbing her brother-sister by the hand. “Raywing!” She shouted and the two tore away from Kuno at impressive speeds.

 

“Whoa! What the heck is going on? Why are we flying?” She blinked, before noticing their state of dress. “WHY ARE WE IN OUR BIRTHDAY SUITS?!”

 

“I dunno!” Ranko said as she dodged Kuno's hand. The Kuno Giant was trying to grab them as he gave chase.

 

“GO OUT WITH ME!”

 

“Man, Ranma, you sure have some demented dreams,” Ranko muttered to herself. She dodged Kuno's hand again and looked around. `There's no end to the water…' “Dolph Zork!” she yelled and a great amount of water flew into her hand before taking the form of a spear. She threw it at Kuno, but it didn't slow him down in the least. She noticed the airplanes flying around them and blinked. “Hey, this reminds me of King Kong.” She blinked. “Does that mean—ACK!” She screamed as Kuno grabbed her and Ranko in one hand.

 

“HOLD IT! I'M A BOY!” Ranma shrieked.

 

“I LOVE YOU!” Mega-Kuno yelled out, deafening the girls.

 

“KYAAAA~

 

---

 

~AAAAAAAAAAA!!!” Ranma and Ranko shot up from their futons at the same time, screaming. “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!” Ranma screamed.

 

“I don't know, but I hope I never get pulled into your freaky dreams again!” Ranko snapped, edging away from her brother.

 

“Huh? You mean you dreamed the same thing?” He asked.

 

“Mother of all hot springs, Kuno Kong?” She asked hesitantly.

 

“Y-yeah…” Ranma shuddered in memory. “Hey, how did you fly in there?!”

 

“It was a spell,” She shrugged.

 

“You can do that?” Ranma's eyes lit up. Suddenly, Magic was a lot more interesting.

 

“No, but I dreamed that I could,” She explained. “I'm not quite as good with magic as I ought to be, really.” She said, honestly.

 

“Oh…”

 

---

 

That morning, the twins plus one Tendo Akane cut through the morning swarm of boys in record time. When they reached the end, the three simultaneously jumped up and kicked Kuno in the face. The boy was instantly knocked out.

 

“Hey! Don't fight our fights for us!” Akane yelled to her fiancé.

 

“Trust me Akane, that wasn't for `us',” Ranko said.

 

“Yeah!” Ranma growled. `Damn that Kuno! I was sick on the way to school!'

 

--

 

Nabiki looked at the stuffed panda on her desk. “For the pig-tailed girl?” She asked. `Talk about irony,' “Uhm, anyway, so does that mean you're adding her to your two-timing list?” She asked.

 

“Don't be vulgar.” The boy said. “Akane, so pure and tidy…Ranko, seductive and intelligent…the Pig-tailed girl, bursting with healthy beauty…All three so dear I can give up neither! Do you call it “deceit” that I would openly wish for them both?”

 

“No…I call it…TWO-TIMING!” `Er, or is that three-timing? Whatever,' She said as she slammed her hand on her desk. There were assorted pictures of Ranko, Akane, and Ranma-chan. “Three sets of five. 9000 yen.”

 

“So fierce! So…defenseless… And so charming!” He muttered. “Sold.”

 

---

 

“Err…What is this, Kuno?” Ranma asked as the older boy handed him a stuffed Panda.

 

“Why must I give this to you?!”

 

“Eh?” Ranma looked up at the deranged boy in fear of the insane. “W-what are you talking about?”

 

“`If you wish for the pig-tailed girl to receive this gift, you must present it to Ranma Saotome!' Quoth Nabiki Tendo!” He yelled.

 

“Listen, Kuno, just forget about her,” Ranma said, walking away. “You'll probably never see her again.” He glared at the boy out of the corner of his eye and turned the corner around the building, just as some doofus on the second floor emptied out a bucket of water.

 

“Hey! What if someone was down there?!”

 

“Oh relax, it's just water,” the other person said.

 

“I spat a loogie in that bucket!”

 

“Oh, well then you're just sick.”

 

“I figured you were going to pour it in the sink…” And the window snapped shut.

 

Ranma-chan was effectively trying not to throw up on herself.

 

“Never see her again?! What is he talking about?!” The deranged swordsman ran into Ranma-chan, who was currently green in the face. “Pig-tailed girl!” He yelled out, hugging her to him. There was suddenly a warm, wet feeling on his stomach and he blanched. “You are ill!” He said. “And you were ill on my noble person!”

 

“Yeah,” She grumbled in serious pain. “I guess you hate me now, huh?”

 

“Never! No matter what affliction ails thee, pig-tailed girl, you will always be the highlight of my life!”

 

“S-serious?” She asked. `No one's ever said that for me before…WAIT, WHAT AM I THINKING?' “Egh! I'm sorry Kuno but I think I'm going to be sick again!” She yelled and she put up her arm to her mouth, running away. Kuno merely blinked at the scene, before sighing.

 

“Err…that didn't go the way it was supposed to at all,” came a voice.

 

“Who goes?”

 

“It's just me,” Ranko said as she approached the boy. “Anyway, there is a reason you need to see Ranma. You see, Kuno-kun, The pig-tailed girl's body and soul…they both belong to Ranma Saotome,” She said, closing her eyes. “Do you get it now?” She opened them to see Kuno standing with a grim look on his face.

 

“I understand.” He said, clenching his fist. “I understand that your brother is a most vile beast, and that I may not rest until he is felled by my noble blade!” The maniac ran off in some random direction, screaming something like `Whither Ranma Saotome' and Ranko just shook her head.

 

“Shouldn't he…I don't know, clean himself up first?” said a voice from the side. Nabiki walked out from the bushes and looked at her. “You sent him after her, didn't you?”

 

“Who, me?” Ranko asked, innocently.

 

“Why of course. Who else?”

 

“Sleep,” Ranko said, poking the girl on the head.

 

“What the…” Nabiki fell over, lost to the world.

 

“I think the vomit was kind of unnecessary, though. Although if I knew someone had spat on me, I wouldn't be too happy either.” She turned and walked away. “I wonder how many other things are going to go wrong even when I don't intervene..?”

 

--

 

“There you are, cur!” Kuno yelled out. He was inexplicably clean of any of the previous mess as he attacked the now male Ranma.

 

“What's your problem, anyway?” Ranma asked. “Haven't you tortured me enough already, idiot?”

 

“I fight to free the pig-tailed girl of your vile clutches, heartless cad!”

 

“Whatever,” Ranma said, jumping back from the kendoist.

 

“Ranma!” Ranko and Akane yelled as they ran over to join the two. “What the hell is going on this time?” Akane asked angrily.

 

“Kuno's lost what he had left of his sanity,” Ranma shrugged as he regarded his fiancée and twin. “Hyah!” The boy jumped at Kuno and kicked him in the chest, and suddenly several flat white things fluttered out and Ranma picked them out of the air. “Wha…What the hell is this?”

 

“Heh,” Kuno quickly recovered. “You look elsewhere during battle!” He said, slashing horizontally with his bokken. “YOU DO NOT TAKE ME SERIOUSLY!” Ranma jumped back as Kuno slashed again, this time sending vacuums of air pressure flying at the boy. “StrikeStrikeStrikeStrikeStrikeStrikeStrikeStrike!” The boy repeated himself annoyingly.

 

“Eyah!” Ranko and Akane dived as the vacuum speeded over them, cutting through stone ornament like a light saber through butter.

 

“Out of the way, idiots!” Ranma shouted.

 

“Eyes front, fool!” the girls snapped in angry response.

 

“I HAVE YOU NOW!” Kuno yelled as he slashed at Ranma again, this time vertically. Ranma dodged down and his foot blurred up into the other teen's chest area before he stood back up. Kuno stood for a second before falling over, this time, not to get up.

 

“Feh. So much for `Kuno-Sempai'.” The girls blinked as they ran over and inspected Kuno's body.

 

“That was pretty good,” Akane acknowledged.

 

“Yeah, each blow was to a vital organ. Kidneys, heart, lungs, mouth, although I don't know about the brain…” Ranko looked up at her brother. “That was pretty amazing.”

 

“Yeah, was nuthin',” Ranma said, looking rather unharmed, though his shirt was shredded up.

 

“Oh really? You sure? You didn't get hit even once?” Akane asked as she walked over to him.

 

“It looks like `Kuno-Sempai' didn't have much,” Ranma said, looking skywards. However, when Akane poked him in the ribs, he broke down, sobbing and caressing his injuries.

 

“`Kuno-sempai didn't have much', did he?” Akane asked, indignantly. “What the heck had you so distracted anyway?” Akane asked as she saw the pictures on the ground. She picked one up and blushed. “I knew it! You're the biggest pervert in the entire world!”

 

“What is it, Akane?” Ranko asked.

 

“This pervert has pictures of his own sister taking a bath, me as the same, and himself as a girl!” Akane yelled, red faced.

 

“Hey! Those were Kuno's!” Ranma yelled back, offended.

 

“I believe him,” Ranko said. “My brother may be a little weird, but he's not sick or anything,” she admitted.

 

“Hey! I am not weird!”

 

“You change genders depending on water temperature. I'd hate to be you in a humid place,” She shrugged.

 

“Oh yeah…damn…Anyway, who'd want pictures of a tomboy like you?” Ranma asked, grabbing the picture of himself. “I don't know how you'll ever find a husband. Now me on the other hand…”

 

--

 

`I always did think that was an extremely weird thing for Ranma to say,' Ranko said as she looked at her brother who was on the patient bed in Tofu's office.

 

“Hmm…This is astounding!” Tofu said, rubbing his head in awe. “The wound from the sword is nothing compared to these other dislocations and contusions! What kind of thug did this?”

 

“Uh…ahem…” Akane twiddled her thumbs nervously while Ranko whistled innocently, looking around. Ranma groaned and turned his head towards the man with a pained expression.

 

“A…A…A dorky girl did this to me…” He breathed. Akane flipped the bed and the poor boy fell off.

 

“Say that one more time, Ranma!” Tofu looked at Akane with disappointment plain in his eyes. “I…uh…”

 

“You did this, Akane?” The man asked.

 

“…Umm…Well, that is…” Ranma looked up in disgust.

 

`What's with the sweet innocent bit?' Tofu slapped his knee and started laughing.

 

“Well, it figures! I had a feeling!” Everyone else in the room sweat dropped. “The way this joint's backwards…” He mentioned, grabbing Ranma's arm which was bending in a way it very well should not have. With a sudden force and movement, Tofu snapped it back into place and Ranma screamed. “That's Akane's touch all right! Ha ha ha!” Ranko and Akane nervously watched as Tofu did something that could only be called child brutality in what appeared to be an effective cure to Ranma's dislocated joints.

 

--

 

The two girls stood outside of the clinic and waited for Ranma to come out. After a short conversation with Tofu, the boy walked over and joined the two.

 

“Okay kids, I'll see you at home,” Ranko said, jumping onto the fence and running off. “I have to go somewhere else first!” She called out as the other two watched in bewilderment. As soon as Ranko got out of hearing range, she leapt up onto a nearby roof so she could watch the two. After a bit a following, Ranma fell down. `That must be the pressure point Tofu did as we were leaving,' She said. She watched as Akane sprayed the boy with a water hose and then picked her up to take home. `They'll be fine.' She leapt into the air. “Levitation!” She flew over the roof tops at a much slower pace than she had flown in the dream towards the dojo.

 

-----

 

 

¯\(º_o)/¯