Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ A Slayers Fairytale ❯ ...becomes a different quest... ( Chapter 2 )

Evil disclaimer that signifies all that is wrong with the world (namely the fact that the most valuable thing I own is my Gamecube): No, I still don't own them. If I did than maybe I'd finally be able to buy a Playstation 2 and a TV and a really big sword and a computer and a giant Totoro stuffed animal and a heck of a lot of Pocky and a bunch of other stuff I've been wanting. Sadly, even that probly wouldn't be enough to buy a team of scientists into slavery and force them to build me my very own mecha. I've always wanted to go on a rampage in a mecha… *sigh*

"WHAT?!"

Zelgadis' cry rang through the garden and several birds took flight, screeching in protest.

"So? Do you want the jewel or not?" asked Xellos, opening one eye to look playfully at the chimera whose lap he was in.

Zel paused to look down at the black orb. It was quite obviously the most valuable thing he had ever seen, but there was something about it… It seemed almost… hypnotizing. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He wouldn't… he couldn't… but the jewel….

"Al…alri-"

Zel's reply was cut short by a small rock hitting him on the head.

"Ow!" he cried. "What did you do that for?"

"Do what for?"

"Through that rock at my head!"

"Rock?" Xellos was obviously beginning to get worried.

"You threw a rock at me… when I… I was about to say y-OW!"

Xellos shoved the jewel into his pocket (Zelgadis recovered quickly with it out of sight) and stood up sharply, opening his eyes in order to look about.

"Damn. She's followed us… I thought Naga would keep her busy…" Xellos muttered to himself.

"What? What is it??"

Xellos turned around quickly, his usually cheery expression returned and a finger pressed to his lips.

"Sore wa himitsu desu."

It took a startlingly short amount of time for Zel to go from sitting cross-legged on the ground to holding onto Xellos's shirt and shaking him violently.

"STOP SAYING THAT!"

Xellos simply smiled, then, on a whim, he leaned forward towards his assailant.

"Wh-wha?" Zel stuttered, paling and backing away slowly.

"Ai shiteru," whispered Xellos, his lips reaching for those of Zelgadis.

Both turned their gazes upward, however, to a bizarre whistling noise. Too late did Xellos realize that the noise was a rather large rock-that, or a small boulder. There was a resounding `WHUNK!' as the rock landed on Xellos's head, rendering him unconscious.

Zel peered warily upward, hoping there wouldn't any more rocks falling from the sky. Still glancing skyward nervously, Zelgadis bent over the comatose mazoku and reached into his pocket, pulling out the black orb. Then, feeling he had little reason to help Xellos, Zel wandered off to find Lina.

~ ~ ~ ( |||X_X||| Itai… ) ~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, somewhere in the cardboard forest…

"Gurlgurglu."

"Yes, I'm hungry too," said Gourry, patting his grumbling stomach, "but we have to find Lina."

"Gulgargurgu."

"That /is/ a very nice smell… I wonder where it's coming from."

Gourry decided to follow said smell, and, after sniffing a moment to get his bearings, he turned left and began trotting along, dragging his coffee table-sized diamond behind him and all the while chatting amiably with his stomach.

"Egrugurlgagu!"

"Well… I think it smells like gingerbread!"

"Gurgulagu!"

"I like gingerbread too…"

Gourry continued on like this for several minutes before making a startling discovery. He had suddenly realized that he was no longer surrounded by cardboard trees. (but they weren't real, either) Instead, everything around him seemed to be made from various forms of junk food. He watched several bunnies hop across his path, noting that even they seemed to be made of chocolate. Gourry briefly paused to wonder /why/ everything was made of food, but this intelligence breakthrough lasted only until the blond swordsman spotted a particular well-known snack food and raced towards it with arms outstretched and stars in his eyes.

"POCKY!"

He grabbed what appeared to be a fence post and began munching on it happily. It was, as he had suspected, an enlarged pocky stick. After he had finished devouring his conquest, he moved onto the next section of a chocolate-covered fence that appeared to continue on until it intercepted a path made entirely from gumdrops. Gourry, forgetting the famous proverb, `curiosity killed the cat,' decided he should investigate…(or at least gorge himself)

~ ~ ~ ( |((_^|| Yum! ) ~ ~ ~

"Damn, I need some coffee."

There was an odd `thunk' as an object landed squarely on Zel's head, then fell off onto the ground. He reached down and read the label.

"Soap?"

A piece of paper fluttered down to his feet. He picked it up and read the message:

No more swearing or I'll make you wash your mouth out with yucky tasting soap!

"Somehow I believe it… So, can you tell me where I'm supposed to go?"

Another paper appeared.

Just keep walking `till you see a tower.

"I guess I might as well… Great, not only am I actually listening to a fic author, I talking to myself too! I need some coffee."

Skipping forward a bit…

~ ~ ~ ( <//_-\> I still need coffee. ) ~ ~ ~

"I guess that would be the tower…"

Zel was, of course, referring to the enormous cardboard tower that loomed up before him (the looming effect was completed by a black backdrop and sporadic flashes of lighting, of course).

"Let me guess… Now I get to save some random damsel-in-distress."

Once more a slip of paper silently floated to the ground in front of him.

How'd you guess? ^_^

Zelgadis just snorted as he read the paper and started off towards the tower. However, after he had taken a few steps another note floated down from the heavens, or wherever the hell they were coming from, and landed in his hand. It was a bit larger than the others. He glared at it a moment, hoping it would disappear, but still unfolded it and held it in the light.

Oh, I guess I should probably give you a warning of some kind... all right, here goes:

Beware, warrior, for on this path lie many dangers and a lot of things that really don't make any sense...you have been warned.

Hmmm... Was that ominous enough? Oh well, good luck! (you'll need it)

-Author-sama

"And so, Prince Zelgadis set off to become a hero…or perhaps food for some large predator," boomed the narrator, back from whatever plothole he/she/it had fallen into.

~ ~ ~ ( //^_^\\ I am Author-sama, hear me write…or something) ~ ~ ~

Author's Notes: My laziness astounds even me! It's been, what, months since I put up the first chapter? Sorry to whoever's reading this…I lose all initiative whatsoever during the summer. ^_^; Anyway, now that school's started up again, I'll be using fanfictions as yet another excuse to procrastinate on my homework.