Title: Crazy for this Girl

Author: Yugure

Genre: Romance

Bias: Lina/Zel - Zel/Lina

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers or the characters appearing here. I do own Vinn, although he doesn't believe me when I try to tell him that.

Author Notes: Umm… deus ex machinas are fun? And yes, Lina's family is very prosperous. And I know Lina really… "overreacts" near the end of this chapter, but I'm trying to express how intense her feelings are. If you think she's way too cantankerous, then that's your problem, not mine.

Crazy for this Girl - Act 5

Lina felt her heart leap in her chest at the sight of her father. True, she despised this home, and she hated having to come back, but deep down, buried under years of denial and anger, Lina really missed her parents. The pressure of tears against her eyelids was almost unbearable.

"Welcome home, sweetie," Lord Inverse said.

"Daddy…" The tears broke free and traced the contours of her face, and Lina hated herself for it. She had to be strong, she had to show him who was boss. Instead, Lord Inverse enveloped Lina in a bone-crushing hug. When he released her, Lina gazed up at him with wonder. He bore no grudge for Lina's leaving home without permission? He hadn't ostracized her from the family? Endless possibilities filled Lina's head, of staying home with a loving family and being content at heart. Lina stepped forward to offer another hug when her father shoved a dress into her arms.

"Here's a dress for you. We'll have to get a better one tailored for you, now that you're home. The servants in the vineyard out back will help you remember where everything is. Hurry now, you'll miss the next stomping."

What?

Lina gaped at her father, frozen in her tracks. The dress dangled limply from her arms, sweeping the dust from the cobblestone steps below. She couldn't believe it. In the back of her mind, she knew this would happen. This was precisely why she left and precisely why she didn't want to come back.

"Your friend can run along now. Thank you, sir, for bringing my daughter back," Lord Inverse continued.

"Dad, I'm not a little kid anymore. You can't tell me what to do!"

"Lina, quit being difficult. I had hoped your little 'adventure' would cure you of your impetuousness. Get along, now."

"No! I only came by to tell you I was in town and to say hello. I'm not staying here…" Lina trailed off as her mother appeared in the doorway, scooting around the imposing form of Lord Inverse. Her long red hair curled around her ankles. A gold diadem placed on her head held back the waves of crimson beauty.

"Of course you are, my dear. I'm so glad you're back home." Lady Inverse also embraced her daughter, smelling of fresh lilacs after a spring rain. "Who's your friend here? You didn't go get yourself married, did you, Lina darling? You promised me I could plan your wedding for you!" Lina had promised no such thing, but she didn't have the heart to mention it.

"Mother, I am not married! This is Zelgadis, he's just a really close friend of mine," Lina exclaimed. "We're here to see Vinn's father. Zel was recently cursed and we need to cure him. I only wanted to say hello, but now we have to go, okay?"

"No, that is not all right with me! Lina, this is your home! You must stay here! At least until you are ready to leave Zephilia again. Please," Lina's mother implored. She grasped Lina's hands in her own pale, fragile ones and put on a sad puppy face with her gorgeous green eyes watering. Lina could not resist.

"All right, all right. Do we have an extra room for Zelgadis to stay in?" Lina finally acquiesced.

"Of course, of course. Although… I would like to have a talk with you, young man," Lord Inverse said. Zelgadis had, until that moment, been unusually quiet and withdrawn. He stepped forward and bowed slightly.

"Whatever you wish, sir," he said. Lina was thankful for his good manners. Things could be a lot worse…

"So then! Zelgadis, come with me. Lina, don't forget to change before you get to the vineyard. That ridiculous costume isn't going to help at all," Lord Inverse said, turning his back to reenter the home. Lina stuffed the dress into her mother's arms and grabbed her father's sleeve.

"Dad, I'm not here to help with making wine. I'm here as your daughter and a guest, not as a servant."

"I know what you are here as, Lina. Go on now."

"Dad! That's not fair!"

"Your sister will be here tomorrow to help with the festivities. She's taking the time out of her busy schedule to help. Surely you, the nomad, have time to partake in your heritage…"

Lina mentally cursed. So. Luna wasn't home now, but she would be very shortly. And it was about the time of year for one of the big wine festivals. Luna always was at her worst during holidays… Of all the rotten luck. Lina turned around and glared at Kurayami, who mewled and cowered in Zelgadis's protective arms.

It took several more minutes for Lina to convince her father to give up his hopes of her getting into the wine barrels, with the help of the ever-persuasive Lady Inverse. Instead, Lina was given free reign of the house, and Zelgadis and Lord Inverse retired to the library for a chat. Lina was afraid to ask why.

Her old room looked exactly the same as the day she left… well, almost. It was a complete pigsty when she departed from Zephilia. Apparently the maids and tidied things up a bit.

"Mr. Snuggles…" Lina cooed affectionately as she lifted the ratty teddy bear off her bed. A button eye fell to the ground. Lina stared at the sad plush face with one eye and suddenly felt the need to leave again. She dropped the bear and turned to escape when another shadow fell across the floor.

"Lina, dear, why don't you get into some warm pajamas and come sit by the fire," Lady Inverse said, stepping across the threshold. Lina looked away and crossed her arms.

"I'd rather not," she mumbled softly.

"How about some cookies and milk?"

"…" Lina held her stomach in an attempt to make the growling go away, but in spite of the stiff arms, a loud gurgling sound filled the room. Lady Inverse laughed, a sound like the tinkling of silver bells. Lina blushed and turned her back to her mother.

"What if I bring some up to you? Would you prefer that? We could sit and talk - "

"No, I don't want to stay in here."

The silence was thick and uncomfortable, in Lina's opinion. She glanced over her shoulder at Lady Inverse, who sagely nodded her head and left. Lina followed.

***

"So, Zelgadis Graywords, is it? Hmm," Lina's father muttered as he stoked the roaring fire. "How do you know my daughter?"

Shadows descended into the room from the growing darkness outside, quelled only by the light from the flames. Lord Inverse wandered around the room, nodding at questions and answers unsaid. Zelgadis tried his hardest not to fidget. Kurayami prowled the space beneath the settee.

"She came into possession of something I… thought I needed, so I followed her and requested it back…"

"You stalked my daughter?"

"No, sir! It wasn't like that!" Zelgadis exclaimed, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks. "I… she… that is…"

"No need to explain, Zelgadis. I know what it's like to be a young fool in love."

Embarrassment turned to misery when Zelgadis realized he was in for a long lecture about love and hormones and growing up.

***

"Matilda! Please fetch us two glasses of milk and a plate of Auntie's cinnamon cookies," Lady Inverse ordered. The maid nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. Lina seated herself at the dining room table and began fiddling with a lace doily.

"Now then, where shall we start? We have so much to catch up on…" Lady Inverse began rambling about how life had been since Lina left. Lina, however, barely heard a word. How on earth do you tell your own mother that you conjured up the worst possible black magic, defeated a Dark Lord, saved the world, and were possessed by the Lord of Nightmares herself?

The maid returned. Lady Inverse continued to talk as though Lina couldn't live a moment longer without knowing that last year the crops suffered from a slight drought. Lina worried about her mother's reaction to her own story, she worried about what Luna would be like when she got home, and she mostly worried about what on earth Lord Inverse was telling Zelgadis.

And odds were, because of Zelgadis's latest affliction, it had something to do with Lina's love life. Or lack thereof.

Dammit.

"Lina? Lina dear, are you listening?"

"Huh? Oh… oh. Um… yes, I was. It's terrible the crops almost failed last year."

Satisfied with this answer, Lady Inverse chattered on. Lina sighed heavily.

***

Lina glanced up. She did not like the goofy grin on Zelgadis's face as he and her father marched into the room. Nor did she like the ecstatic look on her father's face. Or the way he lifted Lady Inverse off her seat and gave her a bone-crushing hug.

Kurayami, always the harbinger of bad news, jumped up on her lap and rubbed his tiny furry head against her stomach.

"Did you know? Has she told you yet?" Lord Inverse cried. Lady Inverse, totally perplexed shook her head. The equally puzzled Lina rubbed Kurayami's back until he purred. A sense of doom overcame her.

"Told me what?"

"They're getting married! Our little Lina is getting married!"

As the two adults danced around and shouted joyous exclamations, Lina froze. Every muscle stopped, every bone settled, every molecule of blood turned ice cold. Slowly, slowly, her head turned to face Zelgadis.

The world slowed. The edges turned black. Sound died. Lina's eyes were as empty as Zelgadis had ever seen them.

Zelgadis's smile faltered. He swallowed hard.

Later, witnesses would say the inhuman yowling came before the explosion that rocked the city. Of course, there weren't that many witness left who could talk without spitting out teeth.

***

"How could you do that to me?! How could you tell them that?! Do you understand what you have done?!?!" Lina shrieked. She stomped her feet and paced the room, her aura like a bonfire radiating from her. Her fangs glimmered in the light and the ruby eyes everyone had always admired were narrowed into tiny slits. A charred and contrite Zelgadis, currently backed into a corner, shook his head fiercely. People in the neighboring inn rooms plugged their ears with wax or shoved pillows down over their heads. After Lina's "accident" and the total destruction of the west wing of her home and a good three-quarters of the forest behind it, Lina and Zelgadis were forced to take shelter at the nearest inn.

"Let me make this CRYSTAL CLEAR FOR YOU!!" Lina screamed. "My parents now think WE are getting MARRIED and absolutely NOTHING can convince them otherwise! They are DEAD SET on seeing me married off; it's one of the reasons I left in the FIRST PLACE! They will FORCE me into marriage because if I refuse they will think I'm getting COLD FEET. DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!! And when LUNA finds out, I'm good as DEAD!"

"Why - " Zelgadis's voice cracked. He cleared it and tried again: "Why will you be as good as dead?"

"BECAUSE LUNA WILL KILL ME!"

"Why will she -"

"SHUT UP, ZELGADIS, YOU ARE NOT HELPING!"

The chimera wisely fell silent. Lina, however, continued to vent.

"They will marry us even if I don't show up! They have that kind of power in this city! Then they will track me down, lock us up in a house, and force me to play housewife and mother for the rest of my life! GAH! They want GRANDCHILDREN! I am so FREAKING NOT READY to have kids!"

"Can't you just tell them you want to live your own life?"

"DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO SHUT UP, ZELGADIS GRAYWORDS?!"

"…"

"I THOUGHT SO!" Lina stopped her pacing and took a few deep breaths. Her throat was raw from screaming. She put her hand to her forehead. "It's just not that easy. Not that simple. You don't understand. And I can't even begin to explain. My life is completely ruined."

"I'm sorry this happened."

"No you're not. You're ecstatic at the thought of us getting married. L-sama, I hope we get this curse off you. You're like a freaking nutcase. Maybe you'll come to your senses if M'kael will help us. Maybe somehow we can get out of this. Maybe… maybe…" Lina turned away. Zelgadis would have sworn, if not for the concussion he suffered from, that tears were building up in Lina's eyes.

"I really am sorry."

"Not half as sorry as I am." Lina's voice was soft and fragile now. She was silent for a few moments, a strange contrast to her earlier tirade. "I'm going to bed now. Don't bother me." She left the room, slamming the door shut behind her. Zelgadis crawled out of his corner. Kurayami, singed and scared out of his little kitty mind, appeared from beneath the bed and hopped onto the bedside dresser.

"I think I really made a mistake this time," Zelgadis told his furry confidant. Kurayami mewled, as if to say, No schist, Sherlock.