Title: Crazy for this Girl

Author: Yugure

Genre: Romance

Bias: Lina/Zel - Zel/Lina

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers or the characters appearing here. I do own Vinn, although he doesn't believe me when I try to tell him that. I own his parents, and the characterizations of Lina's parents in this fic. I own my brain. I 0\/\/|\|z j00. I am owned by two cats.

Author Notes: This is the last act of Crazy for this Girl. I hope you have enjoyed the fic until now, and I hope this chapter puts all the others to shame. Reviews welcome and appreciated, especially if you would like me to write more fanfics.

Crazy for this Girl - Act 6

Vinn, in a particularly foul mood, kicked over a bucket of soapy water and watched as the small tidal wave obliterated a colony of ants. Vinn glanced up on the horizon. The sun was just peeking over the treetops, smiling and bidding another fair weather day. Soon the streets would be busy with the hustle and bustle of normal everyday life, which Vinn would be required to greet with an amused smile and an air of contentment.

Vinn was not amused.

Nor was he, in any sense of the word, content.

He knew why, too. It was because of Lina's reappearance. Or rather, to be perfectly honest, it was Lina's reappearance in the company of Zelgadis. Just thinking about that name brought Vinn's blood to a dangerous roiling boil.

"I was her friend first," Vinn growled to himself as he righted the upturned bucket and stomped back into the shop. "I grew up with her, I protected her from the town goons, and I'M not a FREAK!"

"What's the matter, dear?" Misha, Vinn's mother, asked as Vinn slammed open the door joining the shop and their home. "What's got your undies in a bundle?"

"It's nothing," Vinn grumbled. He stalked into the kitchen, leaving behind his perplexed mother.

*********

Lina yawned loudly and stretched, brushing her hands against the oak headboard above her. She turned over onto her stomach and snuggled in with the blankets wrapped tightly around her and her pillow smashed against her face.

"Lina?" Someone knocked on the door.

"Go 'way," she yelled, her voice muffled by the pillow.

"It's me, Zelgadis."

"I know who it is, now GO AWAY!" With a huff Lina buried her head in the pillow even more, if that was even possible.

"I just thought you might want some breakfast-"

Lina leaped out of bed, ripped open the door, and nearly fell into the arms of a very startled Zelgadis.

"Now you're talking!"

*********

After a hearty breakfast and an equally hearty apology to the owner of the inn for cleaning out their pantry, Lina and Zelgadis made their way back to Vinn's father's store.

"M'kael, are you in here?" Lina called as they entered the shop. There was obvious activity way in the back: people rushed by the open doorways, and the high, melodious music of Misha's singing rose in the air. Misha only sang when she was extremely excited about something.

A figure rushed past the closest doorway, and then did a double take. M'kael stuck his head out into the main shop.

"Lina! I'm so glad you stopped by!"

"You… are?" Lina stammered, perplexed. M'kael was wearing what could only be called a tuxedo-in-the-making. Lina's spirits plummeted.

"Of course! Your father told me the great news! Although I do have to admit I'm disappointed we couldn't save you for Vinn…" M'kael wrapped Lina in his big bear arms.

"I'm not getting married!" Lina exploded when M'kael let her go. "That is a lie!"

"You're not?" M'kael, confused, motioned them to follow him to the back rooms. "Why would your father say - "

"My father got his facts mixed up, is all. There isn't going to be a wedding. I'm not getting married." At the look on the older man's face, she added, "Ever. Don't get any ideas."

"Well, if you ever change your mind…" Deciding he wanted to live a few more years, M'kael changed the subject. "Let's see what we can do about your friend's… ah, curse."

Together the trio entered one of the back workrooms. Inside, shelves lined with all kinds of medicinal herbs and books leaned against the wall. Sitting down at the center table, M'kael clasped his hands together and rested them on the tabletop.

"So, tell me what, exactly, seems to be the problem."

Lina and Zelgadis looked at each other, and each flushed a mild shade of red. At that precise moment, Misha passed the room, and after seeing the occupants, she entered.

"Congratulations, Lina! Who's going to be your bridesmaid? You don't have much time - "

"She's not getting married, dear," M'kael said before Lina could explode again. Misha looked taken aback, but only raised her eyebrows.

"Wishful thinking on my father's behalf," Lina explained as gently as she could. If one more person talked to her about that, she was going to kill something. Or someone.

"Oh. I see. Lina, dear, I don't know if we've told you yet, but we've been looking for - "

"A wife for Vinn, right?"

"Why, yes, how did you know?!"

At Lina's expression, Misha decided to leave the question unanswered.

"Uh, M'kael, what about your… uh, your tuxedo? You're still wearing the seamstress's design…"

"Oh, this thing. Right. I keep forgetting that. Well, tell her we won't need her anymore. Now, if you don't mind, I've got a curse to lift."

"Sure thing, dear." After her departure, M'kael turned back to the youngsters before him.

"Curse. What is it? How do you know it's a curse? How long has it been?" he demanded. When neither answered, he sighed heavily. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"It's some sort of love curse, sir," Zelgadis finally said. He refused to meet M'kael's eyes. "I can't tell, but Lina seems to think something's wrong." Zelgadis stopped, unsure what to say.

"One night he was fine, the next morning, he woke up with an insatiable need to be with me," Lina continued, also keeping her eyesight locked on the wood table. "As in, was madly in love with me. He won't leave me alone. Everywhere we go he acts all sick and lovey-dovey. And he's never normally like that. That's how we know it's a curse. It's been about a week now, but since the curse, he thinks he's loved me ever since he met me."

"I see." The words held fathoms more than they seemed. M'kael was not what one would call a genius. Nor, by any stretch of the imagination, was he a stupid man. He could see much more than what was right in front of him. "Well, I'll see what I can do. I'll need the rest of today to look through my books and gather the materials I might need. Come back tomorrow morning, and I should have something we can work with."

"Can't you do it sooner?" Lina begged. She wanted to be out of Zephilia as soon as she could possibly be.

"I'm sorry, Lina, but I have a business to run, too. I'll devote as much time as I can to this, but I only have so much. Come back tomorrow, okay?"

"Fine. Thanks, M'kael." Lina and Zelgadis left. M'kael sat quietly for a few minutes, then began searching his bookshelves.

*****

He wouldn't find what he was looking for.

The book with the cure in it wasn't in M'kael's library at the time. It had been removed by a cantankerous Vinn, and unintentionally so. He was looking for a spell that would help him win this invisible battle between him and Zelgadis.

"What about this? … No, wouldn't work. … This would take too much time… This? No, too risky…" Vinn grumbled as he worked in the dark of his parent's wine cellar. The only illumination was the light from the open doorway and the small candle he had beside him. "Wait…" Quickly flipping back to the page he had just seen, Vinn ran his finger across the words, hope alighting his heart.

"Perfect! 'Said to make one hate the first thing they see upon the activation of the spell, Contempt-in-Lethargy is a fast-acting flower essence that works best when dissolved in a liquid. CiL puts the consumer in a slight stupor; upon "awakening", consumer will abhor the first thing it sees. It is noted, however, that the use of CiL on already bewitched/cursed persons may cause adverse side effects, including disfigurement, spontaneous combustion, and, in worse case scenarios, death.' So all I have to do is make sure Zelgadis doesn't drink any of this." Vinn's smile was bright enough to kill small mammals. He immediately set about finding the right ingredients. Vinn didn't want to kill Zelgadis; he just wanted him out of the picture. "So if I give this to Lina, and she sees Zelgadis, then she'll hate him forever! Bye-bye, Zelgadis! So long!"

*****

Lina paced in her room at the inn. If she didn't think fast and act quickly, she was going to be in a very big mess. Her father and mother didn't actually need her to be at home to continue with the wedding plans; Lady Inverse was more than competent at planning occasions. And Luna…. Lina winced as she remembered that Luna was coming home today.

"This is not happening to me. I'm not really here. I'm dreaming," Lina muttered. She flopped down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. After a few minutes of glassy-eyed staring at the swirled designs in the wood planks, Lina shouted, "WHY ME?!"

"Lina, I have an idea," came a voice from the other side of Lina's door.

"Go away, Zelgadis."

"I already was away. I even picked up some apple cinnamon muffins from Auntie's…" Zelgadis blinked as he found himself suddenly staring at Lina's greedy face.

"Why didn't you say so?" she said sweetly, dragging the poor chimera and his goods into the room and slamming the door. As Lina wolfed down on the muffins, Zelgadis pulled a chair over to the bed and sat down in it.

"Why don't we just go through with it?" he said.

"Whu?" was the startled reply. Crumbs dropped from Lina's chin and open mouth to sprinkle the clean bed linens.

"The wedding. Why not just give in?"

"Are you fricking nuts?!" Lina exclaimed, shoving the last of the muffins into her mouth and chewing away savagely. "What kind of stupid idea is that?!"

"Well, the way I see it…"

"No, get out of my room!"

"But I haven't even explained my idea!"

"I don't care, get out!"

"Just listen, please!"

"…. Explain quickly…" Lina scowled at Zelgadis as she licked her fingers and began picking up all the little crumbs.

"We can always get an annulment afterwards. They'd never know about it if we went someplace outside of Zephilia. That way, you'd get your parents off your back but also satisfy them."

"Are you sure this isn't just some ploy to get me to marry you?" Lina asked. As Zelgadis's gaze slipped off to Lina's left and he began muttering something, Lina pounded her fist on the bed. "I knew it! You'd get us married and then refuse to sign the annulment papers! You bloody bastard…."

"No, Lina, it's not like that! I promise you, I'll do whatever you want. I'm only trying to help you," Zelgadis defended.

"Sure you are," Lina scoffed, but she looked as though she were honestly contemplating it. After a few moments of silence, Lina finally nodded her head. "Damn, I can't believe I'm going through with this…"

***

When the Inverse household heard of Lina's consent, there was a furious uproar. People rushed to and fro in the house (or rather, what was left of it). Lina's father hired as many people as possible to rebuild his house, and at the rate they were going (and also considering how much he was paying them), the house would be done in a day or two. Lina got swept up in the whirlwind of pre-wedding plans. Her mother and father took care of everything and the only thing left for Lina to do was allow her mother's seamstresses to make her a dress.

Which wasn't exactly a walk in the park.

By the end of the day, five seamstresses had quit, seven more had been hired, and the body count was up to 17. Nobody had actually died, or course, but a lot of them came awfully close, and the amount of people sent to the insane asylum was shocking. Lina finally managed to settle on a dress, but only after Luna came home and told her she had to. As for Zelgadis, a tuxedo was fit for him, but he was much more agreeable about it.

Vinn found out that evening at dinner, when his parents couldn't keep it secret anymore. They didn't know what sort of reaction to expect, but they certainly hadn't thought Vinn would jump up from the table, curse, and storm down to the wine cellar. M'kael and Misha were too perplexed to follow.

The wedding was planned for the following day. Lina couldn't believe a wedding could possibly be planned and arranged that quickly, but then she had to consider how influential her father was, how many connections he had, and how much money he was willing to pay for his little girl. That, and Luna oversaw all the workers and made sure they stuck to schedule.

***

Later that night, back at the inn, Lina examined her wedding dress. She held it up with a levitation spell and slowly spun it around to see it from all angles. Lady Inverse absolutely insisted on white, declaring that the only fitting color for a virgin was white. Lina wasn't going to argue that, but she also bristled at her mother jumping to conclusions. Lina had spent the following few minutes fuming and wondering what made her mother think she was still a virgin. Was it the shortness? The petite frame? The baby face? The lack of breasts? She finally settled on the idea that her mother was delusional and of course would think the absolute best of her daughter.

The fabric was silk and felt like a second skin when worn. Lina remembered trying it on, feeling the dress cling to her torso and falling away in waves from her waist. Small diamonds like raindrops were sown in a scattered pattern. It was a simple dress and yet was more elegant than anything Lina had ever worn. She hated seeing herself in her ragged traveling clothes and then looking at this gorgeous dress she was supposed to wear.

"This isn't for me," she whispered, ending the levitation spell and catching the dress in her arms. She put it back in the closet, along with her silly veil, matching white shoes, and white silk gloves. "I'm Lina Inverse. Lina Inverse does NOT wear clothes like this. Lina Inverse doesn't get married, either!" Growling in frustration, Lina threw herself onto her bed and didn't even bother changing into pajamas. She fell asleep soon enough.

***

The next day dawned bright and sunny. Word traveled fast, and the whole city of Zephilia turned out for the wedding. It was to be held outside in the Inverse's large garden. Large white tents were constructed for the banquet following the ceremony and for the people to prepare for the wedding. Lina found herself, once again, pacing. She ignored the servants rushing past, scurrying to get dresses and tuxedos delivered and catering to the whims of the Inverse family. Lina hadn't seen Zelgadis since that morning when her father and his servants carted him off for whatever it is men do before a wedding. Lina glared at her dress hanging from a rack. At the moment, all she could do was think dark thoughts. The wedding was to commence in an hour and she should have already been dressed up. Lina, however, was not going to spend one more minute in that thing than she had to. Besides, it did not bode well for her reputation as the Bandit Killer, Dragon Spooker, and Dramatta.

That is, she wasn't going to spend one more minute in it unless Luna came around, which she just happened to do…

"Lina, what do you think you're doing, sitting and dawdling around? Get dressed," Luna commanded, seemingly having appeared out of nowhere. Lina yelped and jumped.

"Sister, uh… I was just going to do that, thank you," Lina replied, her eyes wide with fear. Luna was wearing a pale purple dress similar to Lina's.

"Need help?" Luna offered. Lina cringed and reached for her dress. If she didn't answer this carefully, she was going to be in a lot of pain.

"Uh… yes, that would be nice," Lina began. Before she could say another word, Luna took the dress.

"Off with your shirt, Lina. It would look absolutely ridiculous with this dress," Luna commanded. Lina hated undressing in front of her sister, mostly because they were both aware of how underdeveloped she was. "Arms up." Lina held up her arms and didn't even have a chance to draw breath before Luna tugged the dress down around her head and shoulders. "Turned around. I want to see how you look." Lina turned to face her sister, keeping her eyes cast downward. When there was no reply for several moments, Lina looked up.

"Is something wrong?" she asked. Luna's face was completely blank of expression. There were a few more moments of uncomfortable silence.

"Where's Mom?" Luna finally asked. "She should be here with you."

"She's getting dressed, too," Lina replied.

"Lina, don't take this the wrong way, but…" Luna gave her little sister a quick hug and then just as quickly stepped back. "And if you tell anyone about that, I'll kill you." Luna exited the tent, leaving a stunned Lina to stare at the spot of her departure.

There was nothing left to do except continue to get ready. Lina removed her magenta pants and slipped into her white shoes. She was just waiting for the hairdressers to come back when there was a soft scratching at the back of the tent.

"Who's there?" Lina demanded, summoning up a fireball.

"It's just me. Can I come in?" Vinn's disembodied voice called out.

"AH! No, you can't!" Lina expired the fireball and looked around frantically for something to cover herself up with. She didn't want Vinn to see her like this. They grew up together, and he would tease her mercilessly if he saw her.

"Please, Lina, it's urgent."

"No, you can't see me like this!"

"Oh come on, you can't look that bad…"

"SHUT UP!" Lina thought about fireballing him anyway and just hoping the tent didn't go up in flames.

"I have cookies."

"… Fine." Lina cursed her weak mind and complete lack of self-control. She stood straight and faced the back. She might as well try to look the part of indignant bride.

Vinn crawled beneath the tent and brought a large sack with him. He didn't even see Lina until he had successfully gotten it through, repositioned the tent wall to where it should be, and turned around.

To say he was speechless was an understatement. Mouth open, tongue lolling out, eyes bulging in their sockets, limp arms, jelly knees: he was the epitome of astonished.

"Close your mouth, baka, you look like a fish," Lina mumbled, blushing a fierce scarlet. "And give me those cookies." Vinn shook himself out of a stupor and reached into his bag. He pulled out a sack of cookies and a small canister of liquid.

"I made some tea for you, too. I thought you could use something to relax you. Weddings always make me uptight, too," Vinn said. He held out the offering to Lina and smiled.

"Thank you. That was really nice of you," Lina replied, accepting the gift. She sat down in her chair, careful to keep the dress free from too many wrinkles. She began eating the cookies.

Vinn couldn't keep the smile off his face. Things were working out perfectly. All he had to do was excuse himself and go find Zelgadis, who he was supposed to help find the men's tent. Zelgadis had gotten lost in the huge garden and was relying on Vinn to help him through it. Vinn, acting buddy-buddy and being nice, left Zelgadis close by, claiming he had something important to do that wouldn't take too long. If things worked out right, and Vinn left now, he'd steer Zelgadis back to Lina's tent. By that time, Lina would have tried the tea and would be in the stupor that Contempt-in-Lethargy always puts its victims. When she awoke, Zelgadis would be right in front of her, and Vinn would be there to escort her away from the man she would hopefully hate.

"Well, I'll see you later than," Vinn said, excusing himself. "Don't forget to drink the tea. It will help, I promise." With a small bow, he left. Lina looked down at the canister of tea.

***

Outside the tent, Vinn laughed and practically skipped back to where he had left Zelgadis waiting.

"Okay, Zel, this way," he said. Vinn stopped. He stared. There was no one there.

***

"Those cookies did make me really thirsty," she said to herself. Shrugging, she unscrewed the top and lifted the drinking vessel to her lips.

"Oh! Lina, I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were in here…" Lina nearly dropped the flask as she heard Zelgadis's voice. She stood up abruptly and faced the front door. Zelgadis, looking incredibly handsome in his tuxedo, was rubbing his head sheepishly. "I got lost and my guide disappeared. I was hoping I could find it by myself…" Zelgadis stopped talking as he realized what he was seeing in front of him.

Lina didn't know what to say. She was too mesmerized by how incredibly scrumptious Zelgadis was and too busy silently screaming at herself for having such thoughts about her friend. Zelgadis was affecting much the same reaction that Vinn had, only his was much more intense. Zelgadis had seen Lina eat an inn out of an entire month's supply, rob an entire bandit gang blind in less than half an hour, and destroy a demon with only a few spells. He had never seen her standing quietly, wearing a dress fit for a princess, with her pretty hair cascading over her shoulders and a gentle expression on her face.

If he didn't know better, he would have said she looked like an angel.

"Um… you're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding," Lina managed to stammer, her face firing up again. She sat back down and turned away. "The men's tent is three spots over from this one."

"Lina… you look beautiful," Zelgadis said softly, not even thinking about what he was saying. Lina laughed and sunk her head into her hands.

"Don't say that. This isn't me," she replied. "This isn't real. It can't be." She sighed. Lifting up the flask of tea once again, she held it out to Zelgadis. "Would you like a drink? You look about as relaxed as I feel. Which isn't much."

"Um… thank you," Zelgadis replied, taking the canister. He took a few swallows and grimaced. "Ugh, it tastes awful! Who made it?"

"Vinn did," Lina said. She watched as Zelgadis's face contorted and then went slack. When he made no move to hand her back the flask, nor any facial movement at all, Lina moved closer to him and poked him with her index finger. "Hey, are you okay?" There was no response. Growing very uncomfortable, Lina took the flask out of Zelgadis's hand and sniffed the liquid inside. It didn't smell like anything.

Suddenly Zelgadis winced and groaned. He dropped to his knees and curled up.

"Zelgadis, what's wrong?!" Lina demanded, dropping to a crouch and hoping her dress wouldn't pick up too many grass stains.

"I don't know," Zelgadis replied, his voice strained. "Whatever's in that tea isn't reacting very well with my body." He let out a gasp, and his eyes flew open. They locked with Lina's concerned ruby eyes.

"I'll go get Vinn and ask him what he put in it," Lina said, standing up in a hurry. Zelgadis squeezed his eyes shut and nodded.

Just as Lina was about to leave her tent, Vinn burst in with a wild expression on his face.

"Lina, is Zelgadis in here?"

"Yes, he is, but what the hell did you put in that drink you gave me?!"

"Zelgadis is here?" Vinn ignored the petite sorceress. "Did you drink the tea?"

"No, I was about to, but then Zelgadis came in and-"

"No, no, no," Vinn muttered, shaking his head. "If you didn't drink it, then it didn't work…"

"What are you talking about?! And what the HELL did you put in it? Zelgadis is on the ground over there in serious pain!" At this outburst, Vinn finally looked over at the writhing chimera.

"Oh, sh**," Vinn cursed, loudly and with feeling. "He wasn't supposed to drink it. Lina, why did you let him drink it?!"

"I didn't know it would do that do him! Would that have happened to me?" Realization dawned on Lina. She grabbed Vinn by the lapels of his tuxedo. "Were you trying to poison me?"

"No, I wasn't!" As Vinn tried to explain what he had done, which wasn't easy with Lina Inverse digging her fingers into his collarbone and her battle aura nearly scorching off his skin, Lady Inverse and her entourage entered the tent. Luna followed close behind, along with M'kael and Misha. After having noticed the groom missing and hearing weird noises from Lina's tent, they had decided to investigate.

"What is going on here?!" Lady Inverse exclaimed. "Lina, what are you doing to Vinn, and why is Zelgadis on the ground?!"

M'kael and Misha rushed to Zelgadis's side. M'kael glared up at his son.

"Vinn, I know you had something to do with this. What happened?"

Vinn explained once more, shame burning bright in his face. Lina finally let him go and went to Zelgadis's side. Zelgadis had broken out in a sweat and was burning with fever.

"He's not going to die," Lina stated. She put her hand on his forehead and recoiled from the heat. "I won't let him die."

"No Lina, he's not dying," M'kael replied. "If I'm not mistaken, Vinn here might have actually reversed the curse."

"WHAT?!" The resounding reply was loud in the enclosed space. Lina stared at M'kael and waited for his reply.

"I was researching last night and I came upon a small tome of various natural plants and minerals that use or have magical properties. I believe, from what you've told me, Zelgadis was given Love-in-Idleness, which causes the victim to fall in love with whatever he or she sees first upon awakening. Contempt-in-Lethargy elicits hate in much the same way. I couldn't find the cure yesterday because Vinn here took the book it was in, not knowing it was the cure," M'kael explained.

"So… it nullifies the first one? Love and hate cancel out?" Lina asked, her brain working overtime. M'kael nodded. "Well, is he going to be okay?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, he should be fine in just a few minutes. The Contempt-in-Lethargy is currently burning away the Love-in-Idleness. He'll be back to normal soon," M'kael replied. After summoning a cold cloth from one of the servants and placing it on Zelgadis's head, M'kael took Vinn by the ear and left the tent. Lady Inverse and her entourage, satisfied that things were under control, went about their ways. Luna scolded Lina for sitting on the ground with her white dress and left, having only given a warning. But, of course, for Lina that was more than enough.

"Lina, what happened and why the hell am I wearing a tuxedo?" Zelgadis suddenly asked from his position on the floor. Lina dropped to her knees again beside him.

"It's a long story." Hardly daring to believe, Lina placed her hand on Zelgadis's abdomen. "Zelgadis, do you love me?"

"Excuse me?!" The look of pure terror on Zelgadis's face was highly amusing.

"Do you love me?

"What… what do you mean?"

"If I asked you to jump my bones, would you do it?"

"…" Zelgadis's face turned a new shade of red. Lina persisted, ignoring the blush on her own cheeks.

"Well?"

"I… Lina… what the hell… no, I wouldn't," Zelgadis finally managed to stammer. "Why would you ask me something like that?"

Instead of replying, Lina just helped the chimera stand up and gave him a hug.

"I wouldn't, but you would," Lina replied cryptically.

"Would you mind explaining what's going on? The last thing I really remember is eating dinner with you and Gourry and Amelia…"

"You don't remember ANYTHING?" Lina exclaimed.

"Some blurred memories, like I've been living in a fog for the past week. But nothing clear. What's going on? And you're wearing a wedding dress…" Zelgadis finally noticed the beautiful blushing maiden before him. Once again, he fell silent in awe.

"I'll tell you later. But first, we need to get the hell out of here," Lina replied.

"Why?"

"We were going to get married."

"WHAT?!"
"Like I said, I'll tell you later." Lina smiled. She led Zelgadis out the back of the tent. When it was clear, they raced for the house. "Glad to have you back, Zel." Zelgadis grimaced.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm going to regret whatever it is I've done in the last week?"

THE END!

Author Notes: So sorry if this chapter is a bit off its rocker. I started it several months ago, left it to rot for pretty much the whole summer and then some, and finally got around to finishing it today. Just be glad I did anything with it. : ) I really hope you've enjoyed this story; I've enjoyed writing it. And yes, the ending is supposed to leave a cliffhanger. Muahahahaha….