Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ SLAYERS: Guardian ❯ FILIA'S ULTIMATE NIGHTMARE: The Adventures of Xellos, Positive Male Role Model ( Prologue )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

SG Prologue- FILIA'S ULTIMATE NIGHTMARE: The Adventures of Xellos, Positive Male Role-Model


Disclaimer: Here's the run-down:
Slayers- NOT MINE
Original stuff and fic- MINE
A spiffy keen red leather trench coat that
looks just like Gaav's- MINE (I got it for $8, 100% leather, and it was
made in Uruguay! Envy me!)
Prologue-FILIA'S ULTIMATE NIGHTMARE: The
Adventures of XELLOS: Positive Male Role-Model

(SCENE: A cute country cottage with flowers
blooming in picturesque country. Inside the living room, the front door
swings open.)
XELLOS: Hello. Everyone, I'm home.
TWO CHILDREN'S VOICES: Daddy! (Two lavender
haired/eyed children aged 4-5 run into the living room. They seem
to have familiar smiling eyes and grins as a certain monster. . .)
XELLOS: Amelia! Gourry! What did my two
little imps do today? (The pigtailed female child jumps into Xellos's arms.
While the male child, with a bowl cut, throws his arms around Xellos's
leg and hugs.)
AMELIA: Oh Daddy! We helped Widow McMurphy
carry home her groceries from the market.
GOURRY: You should have seen how high that
old bat jumped when the frogs started to jump out of the bags! (All
of them start laughing.)
PRETEEN'S VOICE (With a slight British
accent. (At least in the Dubbed version)): The Town Healer says she
will back on her feet in a matter of weeks.
(A 12 years old version of the ancient dragon
we know and love walks into the room.)
GIRL'S VOICE: Daddy! (A 9-10 year old
girl with long purple hair and large golden eyes runs from behind Valgaav.)
XELLOS: Valgaav! Lina! (She hugs
Xellos with smiling eyes.) How's it going son? (As he ruffles Valgaav's
hair with his free hand.)
VALGAAV: (Smiles.) I'm doing fine
XELLOS: And Lina. How are...
FILIA'S VOICE: (From the other room.)
'That is a secret!' 'That is a secret!!' DON'T YOU EVER SAY 'THAT
IS A SECRET' TO YOUR MOTHER!!!
(A blond haired boy, age 8, sprints from the
kitchen door across the room to the door to the hallway. A second later,
he peeks from the hall door. He has large purple eyes and shining gold
hair.)
BOY: Dad.
(He runs and hugs Xellos and
then hides behind him.)
XELLOS: Zelgadis. You didn't cause
your mother grief.
ZELGADIS: No, not really. . .
FILIA'S VOICE: ZELGADIS PHIBRIZO XELLOS!
YOU COME BACK HERE!
(Shot of the children and Xellos standing there
blinking with wide, visible eyes.)
VALGAAV: She's kinda using full names currently.
XELLOS: (Frowning.)
Children.
LINA: She only burst into tears 4 or 5
times today.
XELLOS: That is not good enough. (Putting
Amelia down and lining the children up.) What do I always tell
you. . .
CHILDREN IN UNISON: (Fidgeting and looking
everywhere but straight.) Don't torment your Mother. That's Daddy's
Job.
FILIA: (As she enters the room, her
tail and flames visible behind her. Her eyes are closed and one of her
brows twitches, as she slowly stomps in the room.)
Valgaav Ul Copt,
Lina Metallium Xellos, Zelgadis Phibrizo Xellos, Amelia Dolphin Xellos,
Gourry Dynast Xellos. . . (Locking flaming eyes on Xellos.) YOU!
XELLOS!
XELLOS: (Eyes wide with fear backing
away slowly with the children huddled behind him.) Children. I think
you should quickly go to bed.
LINA: But Daddy we haven't even had dinner.
. .
XELLOS: Forget dinner. Go to bed. Quickly.
CHILDREN IN UNISON: (Wide eyed)
Yes Sir.

(SCENE: Kitchen. Filia is sitting at the
kitchen table, crying into her hands. Xellos is sitting next to her, trying
to calm her down)
FILIA: <Sniff, sob.> Not again! We're
going to have to move again. <Sniff, sob.> They're coming soon. I know
they are! <Wail, sniff, sob.> They ALWAYS have pitchforks. Every
single one of them! Even in the middle of the city! <Wail, sniff,
sob.> WHERE DO THEY GET THEM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY?!! <Wail, sniff,
sob, wail.>
XELLOS: Oh, Dear, things haven't gotten
that bad yet. . .
FILIA: <Wail, sniff, sob.> The city
council just passed another ordinance against the children.
That makes 187 statutes in this village alone. <Wail, sniff, sob.> They
have an 11 o'clock curfew. <Wail, sniff, sob.>
XELLOS: That's not bad. Their old curfew
was sundown.
FILIA: (Looks up, pausing.) 11 o'clock
in the morning!?
XELLOS: Oh, I see. . . But at least the
teacher strike ended the other day.
FILIA: Only by banning YOUR children! (Starting
to cry again, Xellos puts his arms around her.) <Wail, sniff, sob.>
XELLOS: You look stressed. Tell you
what. Tonight I'm going to take you on a romantic night out on the
town. The baby-sitters should be here any minute. . .
FILIA: (Getting up and backing away
quickly.) Oh, no, you don't. Last time you said that Zelgadis
was born! And anyway, the baby-sitters already came by to cancel.
Miss Amelia and the Seyruun Royal Guard have been called to duty.
XELLOS: Duty?
FILIA: Seyruun just declared war today.
XELLOS: Seyruun? Declare war? Them? War
on whom?
FILIA: They didn't say. It doesn't matter
really. They needed an excuse.
XELLOS: There has to be an replacement.
FILIA: Who? Mr. Zelgadis skipped town again
and Mr. Gourry baby-sat three weeks ago, so he's still in a coma.
XELLOS: He was better after a week the
last time.
FILIA: That is because we only left Valgaav,
Zelgadis, and Lina. We took the twins with us that time.
XELLOS: Oh yeah. . . And Lina?
FILIA: You know we can't afford her rates.
And anyway, she nearly Giga Slave'd the whole lot of them. She was
half through the spell when I came in and had
to tackle her.
XELLOS: Well, . . .
FILIA: Don't you even suggest HER again!
Not only did she start trying to play match maker between every surviving
dragon and her high level minions after she met the children, but she tried
to use the children to attack Zephillia!
XELLOS: I wasn't suggesting Her.
Lord Beastmaster said that the casualties on both sides were too high,
so she would never baby-sit them again. (Getting up, and putting one
arm around Filia and stroking her face and hair with the other hand.)
I was saying that we'll have to spend a peaceful night at home together.
.
.FILIA: (Pushing him away.) Don't
you say that! Last time you said that Lina was born! (Starts to cry
again.) <Wail, sniff, sob.> After saving the world from Dark Star.
<Wail, sob.> To have it destroyed by my own children! <Wail,
sniff, sob.>
XELLOS: Even Valgaav misbehaved today?
He only gets into trouble when he wants to play with the other children.
FILIA: No. The poor dear was too
busy helping me defeat three troupes of knights that came to slay his siblings.
XELLOS: Didn't the children do anything
goo. . .er. . .uh. . .acceptable today?
FILIA: (Pauses for a second.) They
are getting better switching from their human form to their other forms.
Their dragon form was nearly perfect. (Sinking into a sobbing heap.)
<Wail, sniff, sob.> Then they flew away to raid the neighboring
village while I went in to fix lunch! <Wail, sniff, sob.>
XELLOS: (Kneels and reaches over to
stroke her cheek.) They were just trying to be playful. Were
there any casualties? (He leans in to kiss her.)
FILIA: (She turns her face and stands
up, while waving away his hand. She wobbly walks to the wall and leans
against it.) Did you know that many scholars are debating whether
to declare our household as a replacement to Gaav or Phibrizo on the magic
lore charts!?! Imagine you and me, Joint Dark Lords!
XELLOS: (From behind he puts his hands
around her waist and starts to nuzzle and kiss her neck.) You
should really try to calm down. (Filia closes her eyes and visibly relaxes.)
How
'bout I draw you nice hot bath and then I can give you a nice back rub
and. . .
FILIA: (Startled, she jumps and backs
away, baring her teeth.) Oh, no, you don't! Last time you said that
WE GOT THE TWINS!!
XELLOS: (Rubbing the back of his head
and grimacing.) I get the feeling that I'm sleeping on the couch
again tonight.
FILIA: (Flames in her eyes.) GGGRRRRRRRRRR...!!
(Eyes wide in fear, Xellos slowly backs way.)

(SCENE: Filia storms past the doorway of
a dark room. She pauses and looks in. In the room are five
small beds. From a window, moonlight bathes the beds' inhabitants
in white light. Their small round faces glow with angelic innocence
and the background seems filled with a thousand motes of light. Their
gentle inhaling and exhaling fall into a steady rhythm with the chirping
of crickets and other nighttime sounds. A gentle breeze from
the window carries the slight whiff of rose and honeysuckle on it.
Filia relaxes and slumps against the doorframe,
mesmerized by the beauty of her own children. Filia sighs and smiles
contentedly, as she watches their eyelashes twitch and their bodies shift
as they enter dream states.
Still bathed in moonlight, she sees smiles
spread across their tiny faces. "How perfect this all seems. . .,"Filia
thinks to herself, until every smile, except for Valgaav's, widens to show
rows of small, pearly white, fanged teeth. The chorus of their breaths
is suddenly interrupted by bouts of the twins growling simultaneously.
Zelgadis begins to mutter, "Take that and that and. . . ," while chuckling.
Lina punctuates this new song with an occasional, mad cackle. Valgaav only
nuzzles into his covers deeper, reassured by the nighttime ballad of his
demonic-dragon siblings.
Filia staggers back. Her eye twitching)
(SCENE: Lina Inverse sits up and looks around
the smoldering campfire surrounded by several bedrolls. Three of
them are filled and over one of them stand two figures, talking.
One has a low smooth voice and the other a smug, nasal voice (at least
in the Dubbed Version.))
ZELGADIS: . . . some sort or attack?
XELLOS: I don't know. I just found her
like this.
ZELGADIS: Maybe if we wake her?
LINA: (While rubbing her eyes, she looks
down at Filia's struggling form.) What's going on?
XELLOS: I don't know. I was startled
awake by a deluge of anger and fear that I have never felt before.
LINA: Weird.
(They all lean over her.)
FILIA: (Suddenly sitting straight up.)
YOU! (Eyes flaming.)
(They all jump back. Xellos eyes open
wide in real fear.)
FILIA: Xellos! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
(Chasing
him with her mace.)
XELLOS: WHATDIDI DO!?!
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